Anxiety After My Mission

[@CG5]

I was released early due to depression with anxiety and OCD 7 weeks in. But I know that Heavenly Father has put me in the right place according to His plan, and the only way to go from here is up as long as I never leave Him behind. Because I know that He will always be here for me. The Church is true.

[@davidroman252]

God bless you man

[@leslier1361]

Wow, I never knew you were a member of the Church! Thank you for your testimony, and thank you for the awesome content you make!

[@olseon2861]

Thank you for such a beautiful testimony sir.

[@jaxonreid7588]

Yooo it's CG5, let's go! Thank you for your wonderful testimony!

[@bessieb2085]

💕💕

[@jstormy94]

So glad the church is actively addressing those who come home early from their missions in these last few years. This is the true church of Jesus Christ on the earth.

[@francesgarcia5312]

Jesse Porter yep I just got baptized and I'm only 10 and I just got baptized this is the true church and I'm thinking about being a missionery.

[@2326038]

Frances Garcia Who told you it's the true church?

[@DaisukidaioNihon]

This video was ment for me.... You see, I was mistakenly diagnosed in the Mission Accute Psychotic episode, because I had a different type of reaction towards anxiety. I was sent home; wrote to an apostle to be brought back to the mission and finishing one of my goals in life. It never happened. I might not have had his oportunity to have a blissfull youth since my father went through 2 divorces after I was born, plus the first one he had before I was born and my mother's divorce before she met my dad. (Me=Trial guy) Later on got treatment for my disease with a psychiatrist and strated feeling how those pills were killing me (literally) and quit them after quarreling a lot with my family members. I found the cure and it is to have a great diet based on brain boosting foods (since what I actually have is hyperactivity and acetylcholine deficiency- the basic neurotransmitter responsible for dementia if it is too low for years) No doctors would have ever diagnosed that, I created my own diet and kept it for a while to see if it was true or not and I started making changes!!!! Not as good as I wanted them but I achieved them. Looking at his experience, the only difference is that he accepted that God wanted him broken from meditating, and I am struggling to accept that his will for me is the same... I wish I could talk to him, the person in this video or meet that psychologist specifically.

[@RaeannPeck]

@@DaisukidaioNihon I'm glad you were able to get to the bottom of your health issues. I'm sure you were inspired to find those answers which have made such a difference for youR health. I can imagine how disappointing it's been to not return to your mission, but I can promise that God will turn all things for the good of those who love Him. God's solutions to life's disappointments and sorrows are sometimes unexpected blessings. Please know that God loves you whether or not you completed your mission. If you have a willing heart and a desire to serve Him, God will open the way for new opportunities. I

[@getsomecolourinyourlifedav2478]

There should be some support offered and counceling for returned missionaries, if needed

[@7ajhubbell]

"It's okay to be broken enough to realize that I needed to change."

[@davidroman252]

God bless you

[@divaden47]

I'm in tears from watching this. I have never been a missionary, having joined the Church late in life, and circumstances now prevent me from serving as a Senior missionary. I relate totally to the anxiety and depression which I have suffered from since a teenager. What touched me most are these words '' God's grace lies in the fact that sometimes he'll break you down to build you up into a person that you've never been before." I know that I am broken, and may never be totally fixed whilst this side of the veil, but I just needed to hear that it's okay to be broken. Reminded me of Elder Holland's wonderful talk. I pray that we will all never cease from trying to be a better person. I have to keep strong for my family's sake. God bless all the precious children who have served the Lord on missions, and never think you have failed if you have to come home early. The Lord knows where you are needed in this vast vineyard. :)

[@dallincandland]

Very well said! I am sure you are doing lots of wonderful things for those in your sphere of influence. 🙌

[@GOD_lovesyousomuch]

Hope life is going well for you after 3 years!

[@kaitlynwendel6342]

Thank you so much for this video! I believe God needed me to find it right now! I have a lot of mental disorders, one of which is Anxiety. This year has been SO hard, I'm a freshman, 18 years old and I was crushed when I couldn't stay at college when COVID hit and God told me that His plan is for me not to go on a mission, so I've kinda been feeling stuck, thinking "what should I do? What do you want me to do Lord? Is there still a place for me?" I've had a lot of blessings and felt like I'm doing what He wants me to be doing, I don't wear a tag on my shirt, I wear one on my heart!

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Hi Kaitlyn, thank you for sharing your experience. Keep it up!

[@tylerboyce8236]

I've had battles with anxiety throughout my life. If anyone is battling this, get help now. Don't wait. The longer you wait, the worse it becomes. Don't be afraid to come out and take a stand, you are worth more than you realize.

[@logan415]

I tried to get help for my severe depression and anxiety from my mission president on my mission. I never got the help I needed. I've been home for 12 years now, and I don't know if I'll ever be the happy person I was before my mission. It absolutely broke something inside of me. I was suicidal for years after finishing my mission and was ostracized for telling my leaders and parents about my genuine experience. It took me a good decade to get my life back on track, but I did it. PS. I'm still an active member of the church.

[@7ajhubbell]

"Sometimes it's okay to accept what God gives you, and to be humble enough to learn from it." Amen! Amen! And amen!

[@camilabautista2968]

".. sometimes he'll break you down to build you up into a person that you've never been before." I felt that.

[@mrowls4427]

I've had social anxiety disorder since I was little I don't feel broken I feel like a hero I have conquered things others have never had to face I served a mission its possible but it's ok to be yourself to I may not have made my life as big as someone else would have but I'm glad I am this way as it helps me help others

[@kunaiguywot]

I think the first psychologist taught him something important. He didn't know what was wrong with him and sent him to someone who could help better. Having the humility to admit we cannot succeed without outside help. Getting help from places that can provide it.

[@nicky3538]

I have seen missionaries come home "early" and even a few that did not finish going through the training center. It does not change the fact that they are all children of a loving heavenly father who knows them and cares about them.

[@kayceebingham8242]

Thank you for providing that sentiment for those who may doubt it

[@clintonwatkins3718]

@rocky mountain lass sorry, i dont believe in predestination. that goes against the doctrine of free will. God cannot know who everything will play out. If he did our free will is a sham and the gospel is a sham.

[@RaeannPeck]

@@clintonwatkins3718 God's not limited by time or space as we are. All things are present with God, and so He knows the end, and the beginning. His knowledge is not about predestination. Neither does it affect our free will. He's just that all knowing.

[@donaldthomas1963]

we may want to serve but that may not be our calling

[@humanbeing5396]

I stopped working on a PhD for almost the exact same reasons this young man described. I needed to hear this. It was so hard to quit something I wanted so bad.

[@SusanDianeHowell]

Human Being - Jesus Christ knows.

[@d.levichestnutwoodboillot8022]

One of my favorite sayings, is "don't let school get in the way of your education". It's better to take care of your body and mind than to get a pay raise. We don't take our titles or money or houses or cars with us to the grave. We are here to learn and grow and be happy.

[@carriesutter1165]

That happened to my best friend too. I've experienced similar struggles as well. ❤

[@jacobwright9507]

I chose to come home after 12 weeks in the field because of severe anxiety depression and OCD. This video was a turning point for me while i was in the field and now that im home. Ive been back a little over a week and the grace of God is abundant

[@nyokabigsby5205]

Wow, I really needed to hear this. In my life I suffered with a bout of depression during my senior year of high school I hid my problems under a rug and went to college pretty much broken but of course I hid it under a veneer of being okay and not experiencing weakness. In my senior year of college its like everything hit again except worse, panic attacks, extreme stress, depression, anxiety, depersonalization. I was hospitalized three times with excrutiating headaches and pains. Since graduation I've lived with so much regret realizing that the situation could have been avoided had I gone to see a therapist sooner. However as the video says going through something like this has changed my entire outlook on life. During the horrible situation I kept praying and wondering why God wasn't answering me, it felt like he wasn't there or that He had left me. It has taken me on a journey to allowing God to heal the brokeness inside me. It still blows my mind that God wants a deep personal relationship with me, loves me, cares for me not just on church days or by listening to sermons but everyday feeling His love and knowing I am his daughter. It has allowed me to open up on platforms like this, slowly change my ways of seeing myself, comparing myself to others, and getting rid of perfectionism. All I can say is praise be to God. For anyone out there just know that God is for you not against you, He wants a personal relationship with you too, and can heal the brokenhearted. God bless

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Nyoka.

[@holmeslym.61]

I feel like we kinda need to help the culture of the church become more like the teachings. I remember seeing a good friend of mine come home early and seeing all the judgements of the other members and ideas that they had of him. That totally needs to change.

[@goingtothetop55]

Amen! The culture of the Church is completely opposite of the the teachings.

[@victorjackson150]

Agreed, but that stems from the greater social culture of the US. However, I can say that my best friend came home early and we all tried to support him. We never felt that he was any less for coming back early. My whole ward really tried to help him (this was over 20 years ago). However, he felt that he was being judged and felt less of a man for coming back early. There are times when the perception is stronger than reality. So, we have to be careful before we judge our perception of the culture of any group.

[@aubsthepoet]

Indeed!! ❤️❤️

[@davidglover5255]

For many years I was broken. The mistake I made was, I thought or I believed in order to return to Father I must be fixed. So I struggled with this, trying to fix my brokenness.I was stubborn. I finally asked the Lord, what am I doing wrong. He said, you are trying to do my job, only I can fix you. He than said, place your yoke upon me, for my burden is light. You don't have to do it alone, I am here. I have not looked back, He blesses me every day. My life is successful now. I will now strive to do the right thing, look for the positive in life. I will always remember I am a child of Heavenly Father.

[@VirtuousPraiseworthy]

This is great that the Church puts this stuff out. When I was a missionary from 1997-1999, we were told to work so hard that we came home on a stretcher. My entire adult life has been a struggle as a result of not feeling like I was ever good enough or ever worked hard enough or had my mission president, the Church's or God's approval. I think there are generations that have had their lives profoundly influenced in negative ways because of expectations that are now being addressed healthfully. I'm sad these sort of videos are coming decades too late for me and many others. Glad they're here for others.

[@SuspiciousUser-ef4zh]

Glad this video was made. I had my very first seizure and in the process fractured my ankle the day after my return.

[@cougar-sl1de]

My younger brother was sent home early for anxiety issues but he finished as a church service mission in the Record Operations Center in the Tri-Stake center in Mesa.

[@tyrastandingbear6381]

I'm 20 and I was baptized at age 19. I have the chance to go on a mission which I am. I thought my depression and anxiety would have kept me from it but with Gods help and prayer I know going on a mission will be the best experience

[@happylatter-daysaint3503]

I also suffer from migraines, anxiety, & depression. They can be so crippling & devastating. God bless this young man! We can find hope & peace in the Savior. ❤❤❤

[@Glen.Danielsen]

Wow. Speechless. And thankful for his gut level courage by laying himself out there so that the rest of us can be helped by hearing his honesty and _insight._

[@dcrbdh]

My story is very similar, I served a long time ago and mental health wasn't considered a thing. I struggled through 24 months. It was immensely difficult, however the lessons I learned and the reliance on God i had to do helped me throughout my life.

[@luvillasoriano1999]

Darryl Anderson I am not diagnosed yet so i dont know but im scared that i might get mental issues on my mission a few months from now. But if u were able to finish it, i hope i can to.

[@wendyb9833]

Two years after the video and you are still serving your mission. You are a special man.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Praying is Talking to God. Meditation is Listening to God. The Best Prayer.."Lord Jesus..I Trust in You." We do Not always know what it is we Need.

[@drakonwulfkozeidon8907]

Amazing message his story. Most importantly how true it is that it is ok to be broken and be rebuilt again by our Heavenly Father into a better individual.

[@lemongrove57]

Learning mindfulness skills has been the best I've felt since the narcissistic abuse I experienced as a missionary. I still carry some pain, but it's getting better and I'm to the point of being grateful for all that I have had to open up and learn in the last ten years. Heavenly Father knows what he's doing, especially in times like this. It's an invitation to healing and improvement.

[@waimeaguyz9074]

at age 65, i lost my job. i was as broken as they come. i didn't go through depression or wanting to end it all. i did learn to stay with it. this is crazy you might think but it's one of the best times of my life. i've learned to pray hard and with faith. i've also learned to forgive others and move on. i know there is more for me to learn. just be patient and let go or let it go.

[@chaseturcsanski2385]

I can`t wait to go on a mission

[@dianafleming2688]

Same! Nice picture!!!

[@davidroman252]

God bless you

[@amoodyb]

What’s the mission everyone is speaking about?

[@qnoyvegas880]

@@amoodyb Serving as an LDS missionary

[@patrickschmidt6140]

I was actually sent home from a mission in the same country for similiar reasons. Glad to see you coping with the struggle. I'm still working on it myself, so thanks for having the courage to come forward and share your story

[@ClaytownGolfspa1st]

I Love Cole Myers!!! One of the greatest inspirations for me to follow Christ!:)

[@charlotte8512]

One of the best missionaries I had the pleasure of serving around! Thank you so much for your story, it means a lot to those of us who have experienced similar things. And boy do I believe in meditation! Thanks!

[@robyncramer612]

I kept waiting for the fact to be shared he then went ot serve in kansas with us after he went through that challenge, but I guess that wasn't necessary to get the message across. my bad. gotta check my pride lol.

[@kathrynjames4556]

My son came home from his mission almost 11 years ago, he was really sick due diabetes anxiety and stress. He wax made to feel bad and told you will never succeed in life if you go home now. He came home and had lost so much Weight he was unrecognisable to others not in our family. He worked on getting well and went back out another year later only to serve for just a couple of months again and after being hospitalised whilst away from us. The difference this time is that he returned with honour the love of his mission president gave him self worth. He is still pretty sick and described broken. He is no longer active in the church but still lives by the principles of the gospel. He is the most loving caring man who still needs lots of reassurance. I am so glad the church is realising that not everyone can serve in the same way. On the night he came home I had a strong feeling to check my inbox on my e-mail, when I checked it there was a message that shouldn't have come through until two days later from Lds nuggets in it gave me the message which I later spoke to him about. The message was if the desire is there to serve and you are unable to do so because of things that you cannot control , the blessings for desiring to serve will be the same as serving. This was a wonderful message and one I will always remember. I pray my son will be less hard on himself one day and that he will be able to return to the loving arms of his heavenly father whole and without pain.

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Thanks for your comment, Kathryn. We're sorry for the pain and hurt you and your son experienced. Our Heavenly Father loves all His children, ALL of them! Your son's service is valued and appreciated, and we honor your care and concern for his wellbeing.

[@jacaehw2186]

I served my mission with a lot of ambition. And stress. Daily headaches started up, depression and anxiety. It wasn't until after that I saw more clearly what I was dealing with. But thats okay, sometimes a broken rhythm makes the best dance.

[@robertos2198]

I have had some similar experiences. I didn't sleep most of the nights for the first 10 months of my mission. Then my physical health declined but I wasn't sent home. Fortunately I survived but to this day 12 years later the traumas and anxiety and the physical issues are still there .... Thank you for sharing your story, I would love to attend one of those groups shown in the video.

[@bigcountry9563]

You are commanded by someone like myself, you are an outstanding person! With great qualities attached you we're you are and will forever be a missionary Elder!!!

[@Landon_Durrant]

This really hits home. Having come home early from 2 missions. I felt like I was Webster's Dictionary definition of a failure. It took years to know that it wasn't that way. Everytime I was at a home coming or farewell, I had so many emotions that made it hard to sit in that meeting and hear all the stories that I didn't get to experience. After all these years, I'm greatful for my trials. I wouldn't be who I am today. And I never would have been able to help close friends who went through the same thing. They say that God works in mysterious ways. I know for a fact that he does and it is always for the better.

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Landon. And thank you for your service as a missionary!

[@carolynscanlan5005]

he shall give you peace, his love will never cease💛 [D&C19/23]

[@coldworld3635]

chls Amen thank yu

[@raqueljenson5972]

I feel bad for our missioneries that come home feeling guilt and shame, it breaks my heart, I hope they feel the love and admiration for each of them, specially that God loves them.

[@deborahneil7500]

Thank you Brother for sharing your journey. I’m so glad you trusted your Missionary Leader and listened to his message that he received about you to go home and get help. Your Sister in Christ Jesus 🙂🙏❤️

[@QuietGuitaristfan]

I find all of these videos about early returned missionaries struggling with coming home, but I just can't relate to them. I served my full 2 years, and I came home almost 6 years ago and I'm struggling. Where are the videos and resources for me? I killed it on my mission. I taught with confidence and the spirit, and then I get pulled into this crappy life full of college, career and stupid decisions. Where's my resource? My life fell apart because I couldn't cope with not being a missionary anymore. An environment I thrived on stripped away from me in a matter of moments! Where's my help?!?!

[@everydaesundae]

I also experienced the same: migraines, anxiety, depression (and even suicidal tendencies). This is a human weakness, and I'm grateful I have this bcoz I always have a reason to come closer to the Lord. I may not be healed in this life, but I will continue holding on. 😊😊😇

[@caydenthompson126]

I started to have bad anxiety on my mission as well. I tried medication and everything, I toughened it out and finished. I still wonder until this day why God would have me suffer and not enjoy it as much as I should have. My perspective has changed since watching this video, thanks.

[@luvillasoriano1999]

Cayden Thompson did you finish your mission? Thats inspiring I hope I can too.

[@jeremyarrieta6869]

Thank you! We needed to be broken so God can build us up again to a new person.

[@georgedlungele1061]

Hope you are doing well now may God Bless you from Tracy du Plessis from South Africa Durban Bluff

[@taylorgolding4948]

This video was meant for me, I to came home from my mission early due to an episode. It’s taken me years to get over the fact that I didn’t serve the full “two years”. But I’m getting the help I need thanks to medication and wonderful videos like these. Thanks to all who put this video together, it’s an inspiration.

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Taylor. Your service is valued and appreciated, and you are needed and loved! We're glad you're here.

[@glitterbreeze8867]

I have anxiety issues. It makes me nervous to go to places I don't know. Literally. I go to a psychologist and I really can't control my anger feelings, too.

[@TadX132]

This young man is truly an inspiration to me. I've never met him but I already feel so close and so much love for him. I was sent home from my mission in Louisiana for a lot of the same reasons he was, and I really have felt what he felt. The feeling of hopelessness and not knowing what to do because what you planned for all of your life might not be a possibility anymore. And it is really hard. But through Christ that comfort, peace and love comes back to you and He truly does help you move on and grow as a person and as a disciple for him. Thanks, Cole, for sharing your story. This really helped me a lot and I can't wait to share it with other.

[@SusanDianeHowell]

Tanner Deal - Two years can seem like a long time for a young adult. When you arrive to your forties and beyond, two years is like the wink of an eye and all of those dreams are waiting for you when you complete your mission. Time is rather elastic.

[@suebee249]

I love you Tanner, Cousin Susan Holt

[@pinkpanther3368]

Great story, thank you so much for sharing. Heavenly Father is always with us.

[@etcomehome39]

You are very brave! Thanks for sharing Elder!

[@johnfriesen4725]

Good for you Cole! Way to be courageous and share your story. I am so glad that these diologues are happening now in the church. I have been dealing with GAD and panic disorder for the last year now. Not an easy road by any stretch but all part of our refinement here in mortality. Mindfulness and Meditation has help me further access the Saviours Atonement as well through my own journey God bless.

[@chrisandre2013]

Wow!!! I really needed this. Great video. Very open and honest.

[@peggybogar3059]

I am glad you got the help you needed and didn't know you wanted at first. It does not make you a bad person or weak, the Lord accepts your offering and your effort.

[@yepthatsme9178]

This is one of my most lovingly channels ever!

[@benv7933]

Thank you for being so real, open and genuine. This was so powerful.

[@Howisit9591]

I am really glad that cole finally accepted God and learnt to live a different life that saves many people and engage them with God.We never know as what could happen in our life when Jesus finds you.We should always ready to accept God's mission.He will always have a better plan for everyone.He will never play games or never let you down.I hope Cole is getting better.Amen!!!

[@panchaleytonb]

Could You translate the videos to spanish, because are so amazing and illustrate so well the things that members are going through and what they do to overcome the situations. in spanish speaker countries we went through fot the same situations

[@robertanderson2830]

Thanks for a PR sales tool. I love my church and I'm a pastor. So I'm glad your better through God's grace.

[@imdustinaskmeaboutmychurch7099]

D&C 121:7-8 This was given to the prophet Joseph Smith when he was in jail on faults charges. Christ knows you,he has felt your pain, he loves you, and he will always pick you up don't give up hope. Their is always a rainbow after the storm.

[@ASMinor]

I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my KZbin channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤

[@joshua_sykes]

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I myself have had a similar experience with how meditation has helped me experience more peace and inner acceptance than I have ever experienced before. =) It has helped me to more fully feel and accept God's love.

[@GrayGriffonKnight]

I've been there. I'm there now. Thanks for sharing your story brother. I pray you continue to do as well as you seem to be doing now =)

[@SusanDianeHowell]

Gray Griffon - "Sometimes you have to give a little - to get a lot." - Diamond & Silk

[@d.levichestnutwoodboillot8022]

Don't give up. Keep your head up, and keep trying, and slowly but surely, the small victories in your struggles will keep adding up. It probably won't happen as quickly as you would like. But they will add up over time.

[@kumaravij6349]

Strong & powerful...

[@getsomecolourinyourlifedav2478]

It's hard to come home from a mission, especially when you work hard and love the people you serve. When I returned I struggled and eventually fell away, not from anything doctrinal but finding my feet! It's hard!

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Thanks for sharing your experience and empathy. And thank you for your missionary service! If you are not attending with us now, we hope you know you are loved and missed. You are always welcome to join us. www.churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2018/10/believe-love-do?lang=eng

[@MarleeCraig]

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing your inspirational journey with us ♥️

[@kiray1835]

i love You God and Jesus! Amen

[@Dafrogie]

Met the sisters and elders the other day the sisters were from New Zealand and England. The Elders were from England and Philippine's. Always nice to see our young people representing.

[@cesare.guillen4435]

I suffer from the same, worries and constant depression and anxiety cycles ever since i came back from my mission 20 years ago. I have no idea about meditation and would like to learn more How do I begin?

[@MolyBDenum-lh3wy]

@Cesar Guillen there is this channel on KZbin called Positively Britt..she makes meditation videos with scripture verses and they have helped me deal with my crippling anxiety! Try sitting with you eyes closed and just focus on listening to the scriptures she's reading..it will help you focus and will enlighten you at the same time through the Bible verses! I hope this helps..I was prompted to send this message to you! God be with you!

[@phantomWuss]

i know this is months later, but i find 'thehonestguys' on youtube so helpful in my life. being able to pin my focus on affirmations, or picturing the place being described in guided meditation is very grounding and a huge distraction from my anxiety. there's also a thing called mindfulness, that is a form of mindfulness you can do literally anywhere. basically, it's when you really focus in on a sense. this could be through focusing on things like: taste when you're eating - how warm is it? is it sweet? sour? bitter? what is the texture? what shape does it feel like? touch (i often carry around a soft toy, or focus in on the material of clothes i'm wearing) - what can i feel right now? is there a breeze? what is the texture of this object? is it soft? focusing on things you can see - what colour is this? if are words, what do they say? what shape is it? what is the texture? i often use mindfulness through hearing, as i carry my ipod with me pretty much wherever i go. i've made specific playlists for grounding, where i focus on the lyrics and their meaning, or the sound of the instrumental and thinking visually about the story and scenery portrayed by the sound. in conclusion, guided meditation is great for when you have a space you can be alone in - with a fair amount of time to meditate in. but mindfulness exercises are especially great for when you are out amongst other people, as they don't have to take much time, you don't have to be in a quiet area, and you don't have to worry too much about looking silly c:

[@lerian6986]

I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism 2 months ago and I think I've developed health anxiety already. I'm glad you've overcome yours. I don't wanna consult a psychologist because I don't want Heavenly Father to feel that He can't heal me.

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Hi, we encourage anyone struggling with mental health challenges to seek the help of our Father in Heaven through prayer, and also seek help from someone you trust, such as a family member, friend, mental health professional, or faith leader. Learn more here: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/mentalhealth

[@B501M]

This is a relief, for me, because my journey was kind of opposite. I was a big proponent of meditation, Hinduism, Buddhism, Daoism/Eastern Philosophy. Then, going off to college, I had strong beliefs and self-confidence, but then they started to crumble. It seems no matter what I did, meditation couldn't stand up to peer pressure, pressure to use drugs, pressure to drink. (That, and my sisters, were away at their own colleges and my parents, it seemed, were too busy to call or check-in on me.) I had never been a particularly religious person, so attending chapel or service wan't attractive. Because the Eastern teachings were the only thing I knew, it seemed my only option became to "ascend" the situation. I became obsessed with being "present" and "in the now" to the point where it felt like "reality" wasn't real anymore and that I was only dreaming. Sometimes it became too much to handle, and there were times where i felt like screaming as loud as i could just because i was so frustrated and felt like no one cared or that no one could hear me - other times i began doing risky things like threatening my closest friends with violent remarks just to start a fight - or jumping off platforms from high places so that the shock of "hitting the ground" might wake me up - i never graduated college; and all of this occuring within/around my 21st birthday. when i returned home, they said i have a mental illness; bi-polar disorder. to this day, i still don't really know what it means i've been in and out of hospitals, to this facility and that, yet life is complicated sometimes. and we may not ever figure out all the answers. the funny thing is, i keep running into the missionaries, and things seem more focused. in order. so calm... prayer definitely centers me prayer definitely helps me to focus i feel much calmer and less tempted to throw myself into situations that harm others or myself or could be potentially detrimental sometimes we just have to slow down. being around others who don't drink or smoke or do drugs, life becomes so much easier. clearer. and less demanding.

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Hi @B501M, thanks for sharing your story and your beliefs about prayer. You mentioned you keep running in to the missionaries-- if you're interested in learning more about the gospel of Jesus Christ, you can chat with representatives from the Church or request to meet with missionaries at comeuntochrist.org. Take care, and thank you again for your comment.

[@lauramolen9453]

Thank you.

[@melvinborgemo1945]

i had tears while watching this video

[@chrisa6455]

Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I loved the message

[@Awildcow]

I'd love to tell my story on one of these videos. They are so inspirational, and make you realize we are all human! Thank you so much for posting these❤️

[@deibormilakashiang5630]

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY AMEN....HALLELUJAH 🙏

[@fernandaalves8785]

I highly recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza meditations, it has helped me a lot, even to strengthen my faith in God.

[@josephrawlins]

I knew when I was on my mission to Peru in 1999-2001 that the expectation was that I would keep my suicidal thoughts to myself. That's not a Mormon thing but a human thing: existential anxiety is something that we all suffer at some time in our life and the only thing that makes a person suicidal is for that existential anxiety to come down to taking the decision that you don't want to be miserable, anymore. The disheartening facts about my mission were that growing up meant growing beyond faith in God. That if I was going to live, it would require me to accept that it wasn't that God had turned His back on me but that blaming God for my self-pity or my self-loathing was casting angry accusations at someone who just wasn't there. Not that He wasn't there for me but not there, at all. In a way, I am glad for the learned helplessness that I developed on my mission. It gave me resilience. I learned that there really was no one who cared and even the ones who claimed to didn't have any answers that I didn't have and just needed to be able to carry on with their lives, not asking the questions that I had. That faith was willful ignorance is not only sustained in the scriptures, it was the only value of faith in practice: put doubt out of sight and out of mind. Put the obvious facts out of sight and out of mind. Be miserable, but be miserable alone. Contain the damage as best you can. But you can't. Suicide affects the people who love you for a while but suicidal ideation affects everyone around you for the rest of your life. Life is suffering and it only gets worse because there is no plan and there is no meaning and there is no reason to hope for the future. And that's one of the best things that my mission taught me.

[@shaneownbey]

I truly, deeply believe that our life is custom-made to exact the most benefit possible from this earthly experience. Nothing is random, not your being, your parents, the place and time that you were born. All things have been calculated to help and lead you to the very best version of you possible. God is always there, Jesus is always prompting us forward . . . and encouraging us to continue and to never give up. Join with me in knowing that our lives are for our benefit and learning. Peace be unto you always! (Peace being a triumph of principles)

[@tylerbrady797]

Thanks so much for making this video!

[@donaldthomas1963]

There is a time after some missions that are very rough and not alot is talk about those feelings. After being on a spiritual high for so long then to be released and no longer having a constant companion can be a shock there needs to be a sort of debriefing time after to readjust back into society, missionaries are still very in tune with the spirit and can sense things other take for granted, upon returning I found some members to be much colder in spirit than I remember them.

[@HTID759]

Anxiety before, during and after my mission. I can’t get rid of it 😔

[@conservative3305]

Cool video

[@jacobdominguez7808]

I love this video, thank you ❤

[@mauricioflorpari9891]

I love it!

[@classichair1844]

I have anxiety problems and then I got on the mormon channel. I look to this channel and god to remove anxtiety. I am thankful I cancdo that and I am thankful for this video.

[@churchofjesuschrist]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us! We love hearing that our videos have made an impact.

[@garrettpope5062]

This was amazing. Thank you

[@controlyourheart]

Wow beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

[@jeremyread9248]

Thank you

[@roughout]

I think people are pretty soft and grow up never facing hardships like they did a hundred years ago, working hard everyday, learning early to get the job done and quit thinking about yourself.

[@juanmanuelgomez2438]

Saludos desde Argentina!

[@jh-nl8yf]

Thank you. Thank you...

[@kitakal3754]

Beautiful💖💯

[@julesborden8688]

I would hate to leave a mission but this,this was important for him to leave.

[@aidananderson5646]

Really, thank you

[@JimRosipkoRN]

at 4:19 That small paper quoted Psalm 46:10 'Be Still and Know that I AM GOD'

[@sheilastutz8359]

I have met wonderful missionaries!

[@jean-pauldebeer8151]

The evil one attacks us when we embrace the will of God. The evil one squeezes our head, and its in prayer we find relief. Try the Jesus prayer. Simply repeat the prayer for 20 minute intervals. "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner"

[@moroniafrifa614]

Wonderful.

[@sarahhughes1009]

This is what's stopping me. What if a mission will break me and i can't be fixed? :(