Anxiety at School - Finding the Right School for Our Autistic Son

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Coming Home to Autism

Coming Home to Autism

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 138
@carmenperham9238
@carmenperham9238 4 жыл бұрын
All so true guys its so hard with schools, i left my job and took my son out of school completely. Distance Education now with me teaching and therapist visits and visiting. Set up a big sensory/play/class room :) He is loving it!!! Melt downs gone, sickness gone.
@noreenahmad9890
@noreenahmad9890 4 жыл бұрын
Sending hugs. My son was in mainstream until he was 8years old and then we moved him to a special school. This was the best decision we made and his progression in the special school has been amazing. My son is happier and we as a family are happier. I understand the stress u are going through but believe me it gets better.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Noreen Ahmad this is so good to hear thank you for sharing x
@noor-5187
@noor-5187 4 жыл бұрын
I'm a 30 year old woman with autism who wasn't diagnosed as a child and went to regular schools, I thought to write my experience/perspective in the hope parents might get something out of it. Primary school was okay, it was a very small school in a village, I didn't struggle too much because there was not much planning or studying involved as in highschool. (Exept being 'too slow', not understanding what was expected from me and needing more context, execitive functioning issues). Cause of my 'high intelligence' they send me to study Latin in a huge highschool...that's where the problems started. I was extremely overwelmed by my surroundings, had no idea how to study or plan tasks...how to deal with all the social popularity stuff. It was so stressful and damaging to my mental health. My grades went down, I had no space left in my head to focus on any of the information, I became uniterested. Since my parents were so focused on my intelligence and mental development, they didn't let me lower the education level and the struggle continued for years. My school experiences are traumatic, I was really depressed, I still have nightmares about not fulfilling expectations, not reaching time limits etc. My advice to parents is to focus on the mental and emotional well being of the child. If the child is so stressed and overwelmed, they will not intellectually improve anyway, even if they have that capacity. If the child is surrounded by neurotypicals it might help to improve in certain areas yes...but important question is: at what cost? The child might be under a constant pressure, might be very stressed and anxious because of it. It's a total package, in which psychological well being plays a big roll as well. No matter what decision seems best for your child, in the end the most important is a happy child, more important than a 'normal educated' child. Hope this helped :)
@noor-5187
@noor-5187 4 жыл бұрын
@@thetruth5094 I'm not living a normal life like most people :) I'm not able to follow the rat race or high expectations of society. I need much more rest, stay home often, can not keep a full time job or anything like that, can't keep a social life like others, can't do many things in one day (sometimes just going to the supermarket makes me overwelmed and exausted). But I learned to accept it and to realize my life is just as valid as anyone elses. My psychologist always says: "normal is what is normal to u". I also used to compare myself to the 'normal' of others but doing that will make u feel like u are failing. My advice would be to not focus on the norm, every step your child takes is an improvement, no matter where she's at compared to others. Make her feel that she is loved and accepted the way she is. It will give her confidence and the feeling of support, which she will highly need in life! As a child my autism was not seen, my struggles where not taken seriously. Therefore I was constantly being corrected. As if things were my fault and I was just not trying hard enough. That created a very low self-esteem, feelings of shame and guilt. All that created many psychological problems in life, and made my functioning less. I strongly believe the struggles I had as a teenager and adult, are mainly because of the lack of support. My autism itself doesn't feel like the main problem. The problem is that I didn't get the support, help and love I needed. The fact that u are here looking up videos, asking questions,...shows that u are a parent who is involved and who recognises the struggles of your child. That already means a lot! You're doing a great job, keep researching and asking questions, ask for help if u need it etc. If there is something else u want to know, feel free to ask xxx
@noor-5187
@noor-5187 4 жыл бұрын
@@thetruth5094 I don't remember having obvious speach delay. But I had difficulties understanding instructions. Also while reading a text, I would know the words but afterwards had no idea what exactly the text was about. Also for example when I rewatched Disney movies as a teenager, I realised I actually used to not understand the movie when I was watching as a child. Every child is different and develops differently and at their own speed and order. I understand it's hard as a parent. But try to not worry about her future based on her speach delay. U can use that energy to look for ways to help and support her instead. She might need more time than some children and a different approach and that's okay! I think watching families with autistic childen on KZbin (as it looks u are doing) is a good idea, so u will feel less alone with your struggles and worries and u can learn from them. Is there any professional support available where u live? Speach therapy, kinesitherapy,psychologist, relaxation therapy,...?
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Noor Aziah thank you so much for sharing your experience it helps others so much. Your so right and your advice is invaluable . Thank you x
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Healthy Family hey there don’t worry about speech delay too much dylan didn’t walk until he was 5/6 he was very slow. He caught up though x
@noor-5187
@noor-5187 4 жыл бұрын
@@thetruth5094 Going part time to a normal school seems a good sollution, whatever works for u and her is a good sollution, there is no 'best way' for everyone to follow. My autism would be considered as 'mild' indeed, which does feel kinda strange to me cause that's not how I experience it. My struggles and the impact they have on daily life sure don't feel mild (I can not motivate myself to get dressed some days, am sometimes too anxious to leave the house, didn't dare to drive the car for years or take a bus alone, have difficulties in many areas of life). But I do understand what people mean with it,where those functioning labels come from or why people feel the need to use them. The channel 'Yo Samdy Sam' has an interesting video about functioning labels. Also the channel Stephanie Bethany I find interesting. It might be helpful to u as they are females on the spectrum, which shows differently than boys, so u are likely to recognize a lot of what they say. Don't lose hope, your child can flourish with support and love. Wish u the best luck with everything! X
@missypl7
@missypl7 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this, I feel like I am in the exact place as you. I have cried many tears, even before I wake my son up in the morning, with uncertainties of how the morning will go and if it will be difficult for him to enter his school. He is 9 and in 4th grade. I can't imagine him coping in mainstream past 6th grade. Middle school has so many more anxieties, changes, and social obstacles. We are in the same boat, trying to figure out the best place for him in the near future. He may just feel more comfortable with peers who understand him and with staff and teachers who know how to deal with his anxiety and his inability to regulate his emotions.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Missy PL well we are in this together our boys are the same age too. It’s a tough age! Apparently last 14 it gets better! Just 4/5 years more of this then 🤣 in all’s seriousness it is hard but it will get better I’m sure of it ! Sending love x
@missypl7
@missypl7 4 жыл бұрын
@@ComingHometoAutism I sure hope so! It is very nice to know that there are people who truly can understand each other, like me and you! It helps to not feel like we are in it all alone.
@kvanners
@kvanners 4 жыл бұрын
Massive hugs to you all Tara!Its so hard to try make our children fit into a system that wasnt designed for there needs.We are finding 10 really hard here too,hugo is going through a stage of massive frustration and anxiety and stress,and that's in the bubble of a special school hes in this year,quite stressed at how hes going to cope in main stream next year!Hormones seem to be playing a huge role here and also a greater sense of self awareness ,in which hes much more aware of his struggles and feels stupid and angry with himself,as he so wants to be good,and not over react and emotionally regulate but he cant,it heartbreaking.I hope you find the right fit for Dylan where he feels secure and happy, x
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Katie Vanston thank you katie! It’s re assuring in a crazy way that it’s just not dylan! It’s so hard so many sleepless nights at the moment x
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
You are not alone. Mine started college last fall. Smaller school. Big disaster. No support. Brilliant young man. I recommend homeschooling. We did it and it was beautiful.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Jill Lord thank you so pleased it worked out for you guys x
@KerrianneRolle
@KerrianneRolle 11 ай бұрын
I love this its like y'all are talking to each other in front of us. I really needed to watch this My son just got turned down from a school that we all loved. And it breaks my heart. It's hard to find the right setting for autistic kiddos. I felt every part of this video in my soul. Thank you
@sarah62137
@sarah62137 4 жыл бұрын
Sending you so much love. My Dylan struggles with school but the problem is he masks in school so comes across as the other children (unless it’s someone who knows his traits as I can see his anxiety in school at parent events). It all comes out at home; obsessive need to control, acting out the school day every day since reception (he’s in year 3), we’ve seen a huge increase in his aggression since his teacher went on maternity leave 3 weeks ago. Our chances of getting an EHCP for him with just an autism diagnosis are slim to none and he gets no support in school as they don’t see or say they don’t see any issues. I know you will find something that works for Dylan, you’re amazing parents and have three incredible kids xx
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Sarah Holley I love I know this is hard. Have you thought about videoing him when he has these meltdowns at home and has obsessive need to control you can also show this to the same department in your area. It’s very common for children to mask it at school but really let it out when they come home. X
@martybixwheeler
@martybixwheeler 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your very personal family moments with us. :) The struggle is real. Our son with ASD is 7 and I have homeschooled him classically. It is quite the adventure. He is involved in music and sports, and his neurotypical siblings, friends and teachers have made accomodations. We are so thankful for this. Still, he has so much anxiety, etc. I can very much relate to the heartfelt conversation you shared. The beautiful family love you have will get you through! ♥️
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
martybixwheeler thank you so much and well done you for homeschooling that’s incredible x
@luciep09
@luciep09 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Tara - this was exactly us a few years ago. Our son ended up so anxious that he totally refused school altogether for a year and we had to homeschool with Interhigh Online School. The mainstream setting just couldn’t meet his needs from a sensory point of view. The lunch hall smelt, the corridors were too busy, the changing staff just didn’t understand him, the pressure of homework stressed him out and he was finding maintaining friendships really tricky. Finally, school supported us in getting an EHCP and the move to a specialist school. He’s now in his first year of GCSEs but they only offer maths and English so we’re compromising on that but he now has more balance and his sensory needs are being met, although it’s not easy because, like you say, being with other autistic students drives him crazy sometimes and they don’t always understand him. For us, the fact that he is in school at all is amazing. You have to do what’s right for your child and that might mean compromising on academics. Have you seen the video for Swalcliffe Park School? It’s an amazing day school in Oxfordshire. Xx
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
luciemule thank you for your comment and sharing your experience so nice to hear . I haven’t heard of that school no but I’ll look at it! We just want our kids to be happy right! I don’t even care about grades just friendships and a community that cares about him. X
@luciep09
@luciep09 4 жыл бұрын
Coming Home to Autism it’s certainly not easy - I truly believe the government needs to start building ‘sensory schools’ to support the many academic, yet sensory sensitive autistic children. Standard mainstream and standard special schools just aren’t supportive enough in all areas.
@Vanessa-ck4pv
@Vanessa-ck4pv 4 жыл бұрын
I know those decisions are so hard! Temple attended special needs school all through high school and that didn’t stop her at all :) Love and prayers for you guys 💕
@emmanaidoo1485
@emmanaidoo1485 4 жыл бұрын
Sending you hugs and prayers. These are tough decisions. But go with your gut instinct. You are both wonderful parents and your children are a credit to you both. X
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Emma Naidoo Thank you so very much
@colleenc1993
@colleenc1993 4 жыл бұрын
I have Autism & I went to special school & it was the best thing I ever did x
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Colleen Caddick thank you for your Re assurance so lovely to hear you had a good experience x
@florencialopez7229
@florencialopez7229 4 жыл бұрын
Lots of hugs guys! My brother has autism and my family and I have passed this difficult stage as well. The world needs “handmade” spaces and programs when it comes to special needs! Keep looking and if necessary create what does not yet exist! Love your channel and I think the work you are doing is wonderful!
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Florencia Lopez thank you so much. That’s so right maybe we just create what does not exist x
@HS-qe8km
@HS-qe8km 4 жыл бұрын
Oh guys. I absolutely feel your dilemma. Summer is in P6 and has one more year before mainstream secondary school. Her learning plan came home today and everything was marked poorly and said needs ‘constant support’. I’ve written in the parent comments asking if she needs this level of support why does she not have an additional needs assistant 1:1. Everything is a battle. She’s really struggling, still probably about P1/P2 level. I’m scared about the future and what it looks like for her. I know what you mean about their peers making allowances for our kids. The girls in my daughter’s class mother her but I don’t think there are any real friendships there. I could pour my heart out here! Sending love from Scotland to your beautiful family xxx
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Hilary Scott I wish there was a school for our kids . They are like the crack kids. They fall ok the cracks.. not really able for mainstream but not enough for a specialist setting. It’s nice the girls mother her though means they look out for her. Does she ever have any play dates at the house.? Structured play dates? So I take dylan and his friends to a place dylan likes so they bond together x
@HS-qe8km
@HS-qe8km 4 жыл бұрын
You’re absolutely right. Our kids have so much to offer the world but it’s like fitting a square peg into a round hole. Play dates are a hit or miss. We had a disaster last Easter. I invited two friends over, hid eggs all around the garden, arrived at school with flutes, schloer and strawberries to have in the park on the way home...everything was planned to perfection until I said “I’ve hidden eggs”. Summer had a meltdown, crying saying I wasn’t to do it, it was supposed to be the Easter bunny! Wouldn’t join us on the picnic blanket in the park, even though her friends tried to calm her down etc (I’m sure you can picture it!) We had a successful pamper party for her 11th birthday in Sept but everyone very much marches to the beat of her drum. She seems so much younger than her peers and very much lives in this fantasy fairytale bubble. Summer has absolutely no interest in school whatsoever and spends most of her day asking when it’s home time! xx
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
Yrs!! Now you’re on to something. School at home! All your children need you
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Jill Lord thank you x
@sarahlopez80
@sarahlopez80 4 жыл бұрын
Big hugs to you both! My son is in a specialist school and I’m so grateful for it and the amazing support of the teachers x
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Sarah Lopez ❤️❤️😉
@nancyunderwood6953
@nancyunderwood6953 4 жыл бұрын
Your husband is so involved that’s great to see.My husband loves our son but he is not that involved which makes me sad but I try my best for my son .Thank you for taking time to help other parents which is so helpful.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
it takes time. andrew took a while to come around and i took a while to let him in.. keep going mama your doing great x
@oliviaann5535
@oliviaann5535 4 жыл бұрын
Sending huge hugs your not alone ,You will get though it as you know I go to a SEN school and that the reason I am doing so well a small SEN school I have made friends and I love it xxx I know the idea of a special school is daunting but they are wonderful and actually I find being in a place with other children with autism was a relief because I knew they fully understood and I didn’t when to explain I wouldn’t be in work like I am now without the support I have had and do have xx
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Olivia Ann your so lovely thank you Olivia xox
@sharonwilliamson7364
@sharonwilliamson7364 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you. Sigh. We are trialing a unit attached to a mainstream school for our 6 year old daughter. As parents we try our best to help them now for their future but we'll only really know if we really are helping when we have hindsight... in the future. God bless you guys for continuing to share your journey, it continues to encourage my journey. You are wonderful parents xox
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Sharon Williamson thank you. I have to say I think personally a unit attached to a mainstream is the best . As they get the best of both worlds x
@sharacy889
@sharacy889 4 жыл бұрын
Tarah and hubby! Sending you a big hug ❤ As parents... we get it.... we totally get it 🙏🤗
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Shara cy big love to you . Love my little KZbin community xox
@bubullik
@bubullik 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this video🙏 its so nice to read all the comments as well to know we are not alone😢 I feel so lost in terms of future for our son because our situation is so difficult. First of all me and my husband are from different countries (Slovakia and Angola) our son only speeks/understands English as thats what they recommended but we live in Norway at the moment so its a complete mixup. Our son is 8 years old in 2nd grade in mainstraim international school, but we are starting to see more frustration and anxiety due to lack of services/therapies here😔 the worse is that we cannot go to Angola because there is basically nothing for our son and in Slovakia the international schools ask 20000€ percent per academic year plus we would have to pay asistant ourselves😳 thats insane. I honestly dont know where to go and the worse is that we cant be close to our family😕
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
bubullik I love that so hard for you. I hope that you find a place that is right for you and then your son will be happy x
@astrid-bellido
@astrid-bellido 4 жыл бұрын
Whoa! Good timing!! We are having so much difficulties with our son school at the moment. He is in Year 1 (Australia) in a mainstream school and into a French program (we are both French). He has lots of friends, loves going to school but we don’t know anything whatsoever of what’s happening at school. So we have been trying to establish a communication book with the teachers, which is apparently kinda impossible with his school. It’s a war zone for us. Emails, meetings, phone calls. I feel you. You want the best for Dylan and you are ready to move to find the best school for him. I am ready too but I feel such a school like this for people with autism simply doesn’t exist. A good school with neurotypical kids and autistic kids. It’s almost we should build our own country and our own schools for families with kids with autism. My advice for anyone struggling with the school is don’t ever feel pressure from them. You are the expert of your child. You and only. Not the school. You know what is best for them. Not the school. 💙💙💙 sending you love in those tough moments. Keep us inform please 😘
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Astrid Bellido Will definitely keep you posted I’m going to spend the next few weeks figuring this out. I love your idea of getting our own community together with her own school I’m seriously thinking about opening my own school if I can’t find one for Dylan I will open one x
@astrid-bellido
@astrid-bellido 4 жыл бұрын
Coming Home to Autism that would be awesome if you could create your own school. It will benefit not only Dylan but so many other kids 💙
@AmberNycole
@AmberNycole 4 жыл бұрын
Sending you big hugs. My sons anxiety is so high this school year and I’m trying my hardest to have him to finish out this year. My husband and I decided we will homeschool him this coming school year. In FL there is virtual school he can do at home. My husband has Aspergers and was homeschooled except for kindergarten and he loved it. It’s such a hard thing to decided. We just want the best for our kids.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Amber Nycole thank you so much for commenting it’s really nice to hear that your husband did so well. Good luck to you With your boy as well. We really would do anything for a kids would we x
@techsocial626
@techsocial626 4 жыл бұрын
Greetings from San Diego, CA in the USA! I just began watching a few of your vids. Very inspiring in so many different ways and angles. I love that you’re sharing your story. I’m in the process of sharing mine and hope I too can connect with even one parent who might be seeking support in our unique club.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Tech Social hello there he’s absolutely love building a caring understanding community x
@seebzm8338
@seebzm8338 4 жыл бұрын
Keep strong, you're amazing and trying your best for Dylan❤
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Seebz M thank you xox
@MischievousMaddie
@MischievousMaddie 4 жыл бұрын
Watching through tears. We are in the exact same position as you. My son has severe learning difficulties and autism. Hes currently in a tiny village mainstream with full time 1:1 he needs a massive amount of support to be even in that school hes coming up for year 5 and the school are saying they just dont feel like this is the right place for him going forward, especially for year 6 and we agree. The challenge we face is we are also so limited on where he can go. We go round and round in circles saying we will move to find the perfect school then I feel guilty for my other children and we dont then we just pick ourselves back up and keep going. This video just made me realise that we arent alone and that is so comforting in a time of struggle 💗
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Brooke Stephens oh sweetheart your not alone .. I’m right there with you x
@ChelseaLampinen
@ChelseaLampinen 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so happy I found you! My son is 7 and in the states were navigating the world of ASD as well. While considered high functioning there’s so much more to it and the school situation is very hard for us too now more than ever. So happy to watch all your videos
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
thank you so much for watching.. if i can ever help at all please do let me know x
@AshleyLaine
@AshleyLaine 4 жыл бұрын
Sending so much love your way! ❤️ We spend the Summer and Fall search across the US for a school to send Jesse to and just moved November 1st to a new state I order for Jesse to receive what he needs.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Growing Jesse well done you! What’ amazing parents you are! I think we are going to do the same x
@merinbabu1760
@merinbabu1760 4 жыл бұрын
Here I am with my 2 year old precious boy!! I feel like I am standing on a beach with high tides coming to get me and my boy.. I can’t run away and don’t want to get washed away.. Tara, watching Dylan talking to you gives me much hope.. I wish at least he could talk.. so that I can get him to let me know how he feels..
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
merin babu oh I feel you I really do! Dylan was very late to talk so please do not give up hope sending you lots of love xox
@ritak3499
@ritak3499 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Tara, thank you for sharing. I love watching your videos and as it shows the reality of parents and the ups and downs we go through. My daughter is 3 and much younger than Dylan. I am in the process of getting her a EHCP with the help of her portage worker. I am already predicting that she won't cope in mainstream and so have the plan to send her to a special school so that she won't struggle and can excel in her own way and express herself. I am certain mainstream school may not be able to cope with her and so she may get sidelined because she cannot focus on one activity for too long. Hope everything goes well for Dylan. Please do keep us updated x
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Rita K thank you So much. I’ll definitely keep you updated on what is happening with the school situation. Thanks so much for watching our videos x
@abeero100
@abeero100 4 жыл бұрын
that's exactly what im going through it's really hard ,my daughter is developing OCD and she doesn't like her school and i can't seem to find the right option .. i just hope that our destiny always lead us to the right path
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
abeero100 I believe there is a way through it we just need to find the right answers for our children. How old is your daughter ? X
@abeero100
@abeero100 4 жыл бұрын
@@ComingHometoAutism my girl is 11 years old .. we are from the middle east i want to thank you for your channel it's very useful and you are such a kind heart bless you and your beautiful family i hope we all go through this gracefully :D :D
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️
@kicosumpter7049
@kicosumpter7049 4 жыл бұрын
hi , im so glad you did this video , my son is 13 , im english and he was born here his spanish with ginger hair too , kico is his name and he is the best , so bright and funny full of life , he started a main stream school just turned 3 in august and he started in september , it was a very difficult transition .He had so many friends little angle like you say , they grew up with him and understood him and they taught him how to behave in society , he was doing so well , til he was 10 years old ,then a new teacher started made fun of him , and a new boy joined his class was a complete nightmare he started to get blamed for things he did not start , but he then had to go to this specialist school and it was not the right school for him .In the first months they locked him into a closet with no lights 3 times and he has never got over that .Well recently in march he had coronavirus and he has not been the same since but last friday went to school and arrived home on the school bus and my son to my horror was gone in his mind , he is not the same boy , he is repeating himself the same thing s ,starring into the mirror and ceiling turning the lights on and off , he has always been affectionate and now won't let me touch him or anyone else , he is in hospital and they are doing test s, we just hope that he will come back to us .They are not sure yet what is causing it , seizures , medication , trauma at school , we just don't know yet . i wish you the best of luck with your son dillan . Im sure you will make the right decision ,and hope he finds a great teacher , as kico had a wonderful women in his old school that understands autism but unfortunately where he is now , they may be great teachers but he does not feel that anyone understand s him like she did . He wants his old friends back and the social life that he had for a while , now he is amongst children with other disorders not many autistic children in his school and he says to me , mami the school that i need does not exist yet . so my thought s go out to you , it only takes one great teacher to make you son ,his life so much better . i know that is all it would take to make my son happy again and fully functioning like before . its a very hard decision to make . good luck to you all . kind regards joanne mother of kico
@wonderfuldayswith2a903
@wonderfuldayswith2a903 4 жыл бұрын
One thing from this video. How beautiful you both? Communication and working together. I guess I don’t have this kind of thing with my husband. I feel like I am dealing all this thing alone.
@CK-tz8ek
@CK-tz8ek 3 жыл бұрын
Had this convo and struggle so many times.
@carolinejohansson8609
@carolinejohansson8609 4 жыл бұрын
Sending hugs and love and light ❤️✨☀️
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Caroline Johansson thank you xox
@Kemishcat25
@Kemishcat25 4 жыл бұрын
Guys sending you my love!i have 4 year old (WE LIVE IN CORK,IRELAND) autistic boy.We have no space in any school for the next at least 2 years(waiting lists are massive)!no help from anywhere! very hard times!!
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Hey there gosh I’m so sorry that’s so frustrating for you. You can do a lot at home your selves so keep up the good work your doing amazing you guys x
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
Start your own play group with kids who are kind & understanding.
@cd4536
@cd4536 4 жыл бұрын
I dropped out of school completely in 10th grade. My mom ended up pulling me out of preschool after two weeks. Kindergarten until half way through 6th grade was manageable. I was abruptly taken from my school and put into another one in another state. Where I was expected to get on the school bus were as at my other school I walked to school. One of the hardest things was loosing my friends. I only had one or two. Most of the time just didn't know what to do with other kids. I read somewhere recently about how people with autism don't communicate well but with other people with autism they do communicate well. Maybe being in a school with kinds on his level would be good, but you said the school he tried they didn't make allowances for him like his friends. Do the school group kids by their needs or just group them? It kinds of maybe sounds like Dylan is in no man's land. Not quite needing a specialist school but not quite handling main stream school. I wish you all well and I hope Dylan can find a way to be happy at school. Truly. I know how rough it can be. Maybe you could look into a service dog. They can do really great things.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
C D thank you so much for sharing your experience and for your advice yes we actually are looking into a service dog funnily enough. It is so hard because Dylan loves his friends but they all moved to a different secondary school soon too and I’m worried he’ll be left behind. I would homeschool him but he also wants friendship so I feel that might not be the best option for him either. Thanks again for taking the time to comment x
@cd4536
@cd4536 4 жыл бұрын
@@ComingHometoAutism Thanks for responding. Is there another way for him to fid buddies? Perhaps a local organization. In my area in America we have things like boy scouts, boys and girls clubs, science camp, and sports. Just curious since we live in different places.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
C D dylan can’t manage extra activities such as scouts I’m afraid I’m looking at Minecraft’s clubs and things like that though x
@KateH77
@KateH77 4 жыл бұрын
Our son (nearly 7) started at a Special School in September and he's doing a lot better a ademically than he was when in mainstream. I would say without doubt go with your gut feeling of putting him into a Specialist provision especially if he's saying he'd like to be around people who think like him more, because I think you'll find he'll struggle in a main stream secondary school what with constantly changing classrooms, teachers and children he's in classes with and the quantity of homework he'll have. Hope you find the right answer for him and your family soon so life will even out a little more. Does Dylan like Trains if so you may want to try Trainshed Autism Traiin Club at Stretum youth Club the second Saturday of each month. Hugs to you all (especially you mum).
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
KatesPlace77 catherinehunt.me.uk thank you so much so nice to hear how well your son is doing! X
@nikki-qm9wz
@nikki-qm9wz 4 жыл бұрын
Thankyou for sharing this ,our son 8 still waiting diagnosis it’s in schools hands just have to constantly challenge them when things come up ie with his bowel issue is do not the easiest , keep repeating plus other issue born cleft lip and palette still special orthodontics appointments and possibly operation we just about coping , but we know it’s gonna get harder and the work load exam pressure !.and you talking the real deal you go through all everyday motions do you think school education system doing enough to help autism in mainstream to give them a chance to keep in mainstream but I think our son would be so much better off in smaller class real care and same kind of people , rather than just think of your child dosent fit in to the perfect pupil of just getting on with it ,that’s my worry and absolutely dreading secondary school . Iv got a feeling it’s gonna be crash time for us I know my Harrison is gonna need kind caring.support to enjoy school or it’s gonna be a total disaster.looking foward to a possible solution 🌈 Richardson-Chappell family,
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
nicola richardson hey there it’s so hard isn’t it Dylan also still has some bowel issues and can’t help himself in the toilet. He has a wonderful caring one-to-one now but I do think that the whole secondary school he’s going to need a specialist one. I’ll keep you updated with any discoveries I find. Sending you a big hug
@rebeccaw9656
@rebeccaw9656 4 жыл бұрын
So I have 3 boys, aged 21, 8 1/2 and 5. The oldest is typical, however when he turned approx 10, he hit the horror of puberty, and whatever had gone on before - forget about it, we found ourselves in this new nightmare reality of changing brains and hormones. My second son, turns 9 in September, has autism, and I am highly concerned that our previous nightmare with our first, will be magnified tenfold with autism! He already is showing less resilience, and we’ve been told, this is approximately when testosterone increases in boys, we are seeing more aggression and trouble with attention. His paediatrician has started discussions for medication, for anxiety and also feels ADHD medication may help in school. we will visit this in 6 months while we make a decision. My main concern is, he has been going to a specialist school since day one, has been thriving, and it has been the best thing for him. However, our specialist school doesn’t have a dedicated middle school or senior college, and I don’t want him going to mainstream middle school. From experience from my first “typical” child, it’s a puberty hormonal field of bullying and fights and I just refuse to go there with my autistic son. So, I’m coming to the conclusion we need to move, the neighbouring town’s specialist school has a dedicated middle school and senior college. And while I ache about moving him from his friends and tight community he has known since he was 5, I feel the need to have him settled into the new school before puberty really takes hold. And then I have another 5 years before my youngest (also with autism) reaches this stage - sigh! Good luck, you’re doing the right thing😊
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
RebeccaW thank you so much I’m sending you so much love
@hopeandalittleautism
@hopeandalittleautism 4 жыл бұрын
Ahhh. My 4 year old has been in early intervention setting since about a year n half and now we are looking for transition to a nursery setting with one to one support . Next week is my exploring week for preschools and just d thought is making me so anxious.. my son is an anxious child and has very limited speech . Just keeping fingers crossed.. thank you for your videos. I love d fact that you keep it real and do not sugar-coat it..
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
anjali sinha thank you for telling your story and for your love. Xox
@connorduke4619
@connorduke4619 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for showing so much honesty and love in a situation many autism parents have to go through. Our son has even more severe symptoms than Dylan (yet is also clearly highly intelligent), so we are also consigned to the special school path rather than keeping him at home. Also in your search for a special school note there can be different categories within those as well, as some are more focused on low IQ students, others on behaviour problem (e.g. unstable homes) students and others more on autism type symptoms. So not all specialist schools are actually 'specialised' in the same symptoms and it pays to be aware of this so you don't have to move house too many times. Finally we are also keeping track of biomedical supplements to improve the functioning of the amygdala, the tiny brain region where most anxiety seems to live. And so far the most convincing research we have found points to the ayurvedic herb "bacopa monnieri" which both stimulates brain-derived neurotrophic factor in the amygdala and also can increase Serotonin Transporter (SERT) expression - which can reduce fear response in the amygdala.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Connor Duke this is awesome info thank you for sharing I’m going to look in to the ayvedic medicine for sure. And thanks for the advice on the schools x
@annra8570
@annra8570 4 жыл бұрын
Sending you lots of hugs 🤗 xxxx
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Ann Ra ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@Townsendadventures
@Townsendadventures 4 жыл бұрын
Bless you. We decided to send our son to special school he only 3.5 year old non verbal . Having experience in mainstream school and talking to parents to our local schools non could really cope with him which why when dine EHCP we sais special school. If in future he comes on the school have access to other local schools in mainstream so he could do a lesson or two.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Michelle Townsend ❤️❤️
@abbystephens5516
@abbystephens5516 3 жыл бұрын
I have high functioning Aspergers and school can be a challenge for me because people with Aspergers learn differently than typical people
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
Sending hugs
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Jill Lord 💗💗💗
@KaNisa_Sharie
@KaNisa_Sharie 4 жыл бұрын
My son was diagnosed last year with Autism at the age of 2 and there's still a lot I have to learn and figure out myself. As my son gets closer to preschool age I'm debating do I put him in a specialized school for Autism or do I have him go to a mainstream school with his sister. It's a hard decision to make because I'm not sure which school would be a better fit for him. As parents we just want the best for our children so I can definitely relate to this video.
@kicosumpter7049
@kicosumpter7049 4 жыл бұрын
hi im joanne mother of kico , im english and have lived in spain for many years , my son kico is now 13 , he started at a mainstream school when he just turned 3 , still a baby in my opnion , he was dry and he went in the mornings and came home for lunch and went back at 3 pm , that was the time that he went to sleep , and just to be clear he hasnt slepted in years since he was born , he has to take drops and that doesn't keep him asleep for a full 8 hours . We didn't have more children so he is an only child , he stayed in this school until he was 10 , there was talk he would , maybe go onto the secondary school with his school class mates which have been like little angles sent down from heaven , he had a social life and it seemed possible he would go on to be with some of his friends and lead somewhat a normal life . Then life got in the way , a teacher was mimicking him when he had a meltdown she started to jump up and down , and all his little school mates came running out that day telling me exactly what had happened , that started him off , then a new boy arrived and started to bully my son and , kico retaliated but got caught and blamed for all of it .He started to get aggressive , violent with frustration that noone believed him and it went down hill from there ,his teachers most of them were wonderful they understood him and he misses them dearly also the contact of his friends that he grew up with .So he was moved early to a special needs school , and they showed me around and it was a magical place , i was convinced he would strive and his true potential would begin to shine as they assured me it would , with in a month of starting this school he was locked into a closet room , the door was locked and the lights were not switched on , so here is my boy new school , all new and scary and then to make it even worst they lock him into a dark closet , tell him while his screaming and banging the door to let him out , until you calm down we are not going to let you out , i ve been up to the school as this happened more than one occassion , amongst other things , but 3 years later , he went to school one friday morning and came back on the school bus , and i could see with his covid mask his eyes were gone , lost , his was mumbling things , my kico as i know him wasn't their , we are now approaching december and this occured on the 30th of october , he has been in and out of hospital , they have done tests and they have all come back normal , we have been locked away in our house as he suffers to the extreme sensory issues , our teles have been turned off and he has stopped drawing and art work of any kind been sitting in his dark bedroom and when he does come out he is looking into the mirror turning the light switches on and off starriing into nothing .He has not ever been so bad as he is right now , fortunately lately he has started to improve without any help from the doctors or other professional help. So , i cannot tell you what to do , just give you options and some insight , it depends what type of autism your child has , and if you think that a sibling would help your child by being in the same school , i think that would help alot and the teachers are as great as kico had at his first school , i have noticed and alot of friends and family have noticed to that kico being in a special need school , he has not improved socially he has gone backward . I think if he was in a school just for autism , then yes he would shine and be stimulated and show his true potential , Its not a nice thing as a parents to think your doing the right thing and then later to find that i havn't done the right thing but in this country its out of my decision , its the board of education and the lack of or to be absolutely correct , there are only 2 special need school in this big community and none of them are all autistic . so my hand s at the moment are tied and so in these last 8 years of my son being at this school which is great for other special needs but not for autism , he will leave when he is 21 , and my fear is , in what state will he be at the most important time of his life . i wish you the best of luck and go with your gut instinct and listen to your child if they are verbal , if they are not happy ,in my experience its not their fault there is another reason why this is happening . ,
@kayleneharris5180
@kayleneharris5180 4 жыл бұрын
What a great video, my partner and I have had that EXACT conversation many times over the last six months and still haven't worked out what to do. Let us know if you come up with any solutions ❤️
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Kaylene Harris I will do for sure. I’ll keep you posted! I’m going to be spending the next Fee weeks figuring this out and talking to young people in the spectrum them selves to find out what worked for them. How old is your child? X
@kayleneharris5180
@kayleneharris5180 4 жыл бұрын
@@ComingHometoAutism my little one is 6 years old and non verbal, she stated year 1 this year and so far it's OK but I can see problems on the horizon as the support seems to be less available compared to last year, but I'm going to give it a go for a month or two and reevaluate then.
@gk5063
@gk5063 4 жыл бұрын
Sending you hugs. I am sure you will find a solution. You have a great partner who works "with you" and supports you and with that support system in place, working as a team.. all will be OK. Have you considered home school? Plus keeping in touch with his old friends i.e. still attending school few hours a week to see his friends? I dont know if this is possible in the UK
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
ginette pamela thank you darling. I don’t think it’s possible to do both but I know we will find an answer soon just got to find the faith x
@hanaechiar7563
@hanaechiar7563 4 жыл бұрын
Hi dear, sending you hugs and love. check ABINGDON House school. It's in London near Marylebone station. I have heard very good reviews from parents of children with high functioning autism.
@fionascheibel977
@fionascheibel977 4 жыл бұрын
My brain thinks every change is a life and death threat. I even struggle with good changes. I just dont want to risk that what looks like it will be great could actually be bad. I just get really scared when i need to try a new thing even if sounds interesting.
@sianwilliams7249
@sianwilliams7249 4 жыл бұрын
My son has just turned 2 and I'm really struggling to find a nursery for him, where I live there is a special needs nursery/school which has a maximum of 4 children in a class. The problem is some of these children are severely disabled and I wonder will this impact my son's development/ learning... what is your opinion on specialist nurseries? X
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
sian williams hi there I think at 2 they don’t notice. If he can get the help to help him speak and more one to one work then that would be great. Dylan did this and was lucky enough to meet another little boy with autism as well who is now his best friend. X
@sianwilliams7249
@sianwilliams7249 4 жыл бұрын
@@ComingHometoAutism hmm never looked at it that way... I think for me the problem with quite a few non specialist nurseries, is lack of experience or understanding with staff when it comes to autism , also the fact my son would hate being in a class of say 16 children. Very difficult decision! :) x
@javiersalazar1982
@javiersalazar1982 4 жыл бұрын
I admire your integrity in determining that your child's emotional health comes first, they have thought of PDA traits as a possible comorbidity and that perhaps at school they are not understanding the different strategies that should be taken when this is the case and the child manages such high anxiety, my son is also similar and that is why what you comment calls my attention, I also congratulate you, since a loving united front and attentive to the needs is the first need of these children
@starswillfall.
@starswillfall. Жыл бұрын
Every autistic person is different, and needing a specialist school is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Im autistic but was always in mainstream schools. I've been bullied and misunderstood my entire life. A specialist school would have prevented that. It could be right for Dylan too.
@annaw7437
@annaw7437 3 жыл бұрын
Which/where nursery did he go to, please?? x
@joehace3874
@joehace3874 Жыл бұрын
Home school , people need to stop pushing their children away and raise them. Parents are teachers and woman are mothers. And families stay together and get it done.
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
HOMESCHOOL
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Jill Lord I’ll look in to it for sure x
@wincharles1195
@wincharles1195 4 жыл бұрын
Hugs
@Cazling82
@Cazling82 4 жыл бұрын
I was upset at frist as my daughter has got autism but she cant talk only some words and noises but she such a happy child and I kinda understand her needs and needs comes frist as mum with special needs child u have think for them as they allways might npt understand what good for them i mean understand why child in this Autism school is right for her level i dont know ur boys Level oluy u as his mum knows that.but schools what kids to be right thoses days and that untrue as everyone we not all Perfect as for my girl she cant tell me what she done at school but Teachers are very understanding and they write in the book tell me what she done or pics but much say she may be talking but she doing able thing wouldn’t do before kids with autism are very bright.
@anbe6874
@anbe6874 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Tara, at what age does hè begin to play with kids? My Son is 3 but not intrested in other kids
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 3 жыл бұрын
he wasn't interested until about 6 even then its about trying to engage doing activities they both like
@warffxfreak
@warffxfreak 4 жыл бұрын
This must be hard, but I'm sure you'll find a way
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Chips&Sushi we will I’m sure of it 😉❤️
@kristine8338
@kristine8338 4 жыл бұрын
Please, both of you, Go out for a walk together, invite friends, your son Will be fine. Trust him...
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Kristine Willems thank you x
@sommersonne9466
@sommersonne9466 4 жыл бұрын
Homeschool!
@sommersonne9466
@sommersonne9466 4 жыл бұрын
Meet friends after school times. Schools are crazy, Id get anxious in a school these days and i'm not ASD. With homeschooling you can achieve so much. It's much less stressful.
@sommersonne9466
@sommersonne9466 4 жыл бұрын
Our son is 5. I'm not even going to try with school. Too much stress just thinking about it.
@sommersonne9466
@sommersonne9466 4 жыл бұрын
That sailing idea is amazing. Dream, enjoy childhood, learn in peace if you are anxious school is the last hell.
@abbystephens9766
@abbystephens9766 2 жыл бұрын
Don’t feel bad if he isn’t in a mainstream school. If Dylan needs to go to a special school it’s not a big deal you need to do what’s best for him .
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
Stop sending them to school.
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
Pop
@lordjill58
@lordjill58 4 жыл бұрын
Car crash continues.
@ComingHometoAutism
@ComingHometoAutism 4 жыл бұрын
Jill Lord you think I’m a car crash?
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