Are revenge fantasies actually good for us? | Katie McGaughey | TEDxQueensUniversityBelfast

[@SqueakyBarbarian]

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It is not about the person who wronged you or letting them off the hook. It is about moving past the hurt so you can have a good life. F them. You get your life back by not carrying them with you.

[@Padam91]

I think you also misunderstood, or maybe did not finish, this video. She said that revenge _fantasies_ are okay and even helpful sometimes, as long as the person doesn't get stuck in them. After that initial period you would move to acceptance and moving on with your life. So the two are not mutually exclusive

[@malinasworld]

That’s just changing the definition. I’m not against that mindset at all but how you describe it, forgiveness sounds more like forgetting.

[@deborahtiffany5513]

How is forgiveness not letting them off the hook? Forgiveness seems to be saying, "You don't owe me." I enjoy being so rich in love that not only do I cancel the debt but bless them on top of it.

[@SqueakyBarbarian]

@@deborahtiffany5513 that is it!! You said it beautifully. Much better than I did. So rich in love that you want the best for them! My mother did that through out her life - and has been an amazing role model. I aspire to her level of love (and am still a work in progress)

[@deborahtiffany5513]

@SqueakyBarbarian I am a work in progress, too.

[@K78644]

forgiveness is invented by those who can't stand up for themselves

[@FarmerDrew]

In medieval Japan, ada-uchi was a license that gave someone the right to avenge the death of a relative. There was a formal process of review. Revenge was bureaucratic.

[@subashchandar7845]

Just because it's a TED talk it's not always true - Sun Tzu

[@FarmerDrew]

Proofread the comment

[@jjmah7]

Haha it usually means it’s not true honestly

[@Patriotic_Changemaker]

*Sun Tzu..The Leader🔥❤️*

[@shirinabushaqra7172]

😅😅😅

[@psantoshkumar5699]

Yep, i agree with you @subashchandar

[@victornoagbodji]

Quite a topic the presenter chose to write her dissertation on! I am afraid she did not convince me in this talk. I am not sure she convinced herself enough either. But it's a very difficult topic. I was hoping she would cover the ethical aspect more. What one might consider a good reason for retaliating might not be a good reason for others. Difficult to dissociate the act of revenge from ethics.

[@Padam91]

She talked about revenge fantasies as helpful in the specific context of having been victimized. She did not encourage following through with revenge acts. Did you even watch the video or did you get an emotional reaction from the beginning and stop listening?

[@rosannkamin8025]

@@Padam91 no

[@cylonsteve2511]

Revenge and bitterness are very similar. It is a poison you make for your enemies, but drink it yourself.

[@MS-ns4ki]

It’s awful and sits inside your chest I want to cry everyday it hurts

[@rosannkamin8025]

True

[@dominiquegrenier1661]

We live in a world of consequences, be they natural or man-made.

[@MS-ns4ki]

The government doesn’t have to make anyone successful

[@DaveBerendhuysen]

The talk never answers whether or not revenge is actually good for us, just that it had an evolutionary edge. Also the talk doesn't say forgiveness is overrated. Good job on the clickbait

[@deborahtiffany5513]

Forgiveness is far more powerful. You reap what you sow

[@alwaysace3480]

Take a shot everytime she says "Revenge"

[@tinkerbell7877]

😂

[@a.m6474]

Sh*t you made me focuse on it 😂

[@DragonGoddess18]

Well some people will exploit forgiveness because consequences doesn't affect them personally. Some people don't want to change for the better,so don't bother with them.

[@banieldoozer6357]

Revenge is natural. Otherwise we would not have these feelings.

[@Rocinante808]

Revenge is good😭Holy💩girl is so desperate for a Doctorate thesis topic she’ll argue anything. Often, our most natural inclinations are not only never our best practices for ourselves or for our humanity, our society. Most often our natural inclinations for revenge led to War on Terror where Saddam beat up George Bush’s Dad in War so Bush Jr came back for a War on Terror and he lied about his reasons for revenge.💯An Eye for an Eye is an Ancient law of this natural inclination and take a look at what happens when we justify and simply give in to our petty desires for Vengeance! Israel had a revenge case after 10/7 so has it been reasonable??? Israel’s response to mistreatment on 10/7 has tripled a body count from a 1,000 Israeli dead so 🇮🇱 bombed up to 30,000 killed, at least thousands of kid deaths, and 224 aid workers murdered all for revenge! So how far back is a reasonable case of revenge? What lead to 10/7? Hamas revenge for Israel’s treatment of the Palestinian people! So if revenge within reason is so good then who decides what is a reasonable support case?

[@blackdragon796]

Something can be naturally occurring in humans but it doesn't mean it's good or it was something we were supposed to be. It s like if I am born a woman but my heart tells me I'm a dog. I wasn't made to be a dog or feel like a dog. The way I feel about it doesn't make me right. It just means I have mental issues.

[@banieldoozer6357]

​@@blackdragon796 If most of the population feel the same way then it is natural behavior. But there are few people who think they are dogs. They are exceptions. It's not natural. Revenge is natural. Everyone felt that way at least once in their life. It's even prevalent in animals.

[@katwestbrook846]

Forgiveness is necessary to our souls

[@amirg9809]

He who becomes compassionate to the cruel will ultimately become cruel to the compassionate.

[@aakuster]

Ur deluded😂

[@Pozywny]

@@aakuster ironic

[@tanzz_general4701]

Just because someone is doing a PhD on Psychology it doesn’t mean they know it all. Just because someone’s giving a ted talk it doesn’t mean its all correct and factual. 1) You keep referencing movies, tv shows, books and music to convey the notion that taking revenge has been portrayed as a good thing in all of them. They’re fantasies at the end of the day. That’s why they sell. Human beings love drama. Just because you see a movie about a person killing another person it doesn’t mean that’s what humans are supposed to do. Differentiate Fantasies and Reality 2) We are not living in the stone age era. We are an advanced species living with reasoning, self respect, morality ans ethics. Just because we used to do something hundreds and thousands of years ago it doesn’t mean we have to do the same thing in this modern day and age. it’s pure absurdity for you to compare modern human beings with a bunch of people who just learned how to start a fire. 3) As the great Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius once said, the best revenge is to not be like them. If someone commits an ill act towards you, doing the same thing towards them will make you just like them. You lose your character. That shouldn’t be the case. I don’t know about you guys but i would rather trust one of the greatest roman emperors of all time than someone who thinks movies and tv shows depicts real life. If you’re a person with morals and ethics, you wouldn’t take revenge. you would defend yourself. stop believing everything you see on ted talks.

[@brianligon850]

Great comment.

[@shirinabushaqra7172]

Thank you for taking the time, I don't even know where to start when I hear this.. all of it said with a smile..

[@banieldoozer6357]

Nah, I'd revenge

[@Wombat7777777]

was looking for a comment like this, thank you for giving me hope for humanity. My god TED...

[@subashchandar7845]

Stoicism 🔥

[@necessaryevil455]

Forgiveness, sure. Our legal systems are built on this Idea.

[@crnaperla]

😂😂😂😂😂So true!!!

[@blackdragon796]

When we look in scripture, God forgives everyone because we are just weak minded humans. Yet it is also mentioned that a person who steal has to give 5 times what he stole. The criminal should be protected so the people he wronged don't murder him. We wouldn't have that much crimes if thieves had to give back 5 smartphones to the person they stole from😹

[@necessaryevil455]

@@blackdragon796 Really?

[@GaragemdoBuda]

Yeah… ok but no thanks, I prefer to let the Lord take care of it. Doesnt matter if I will see it happening or not. I will do my part and thats it. Thats how I try to live, not always easy but thats what I follow.

[@jenniferraymond9766]

Justice, not revenge. Justice is measured, controlled, and to send a message to the community, that deviant behavior is not to be tolerated. Revenge is out of control and does not care about long term consequences.

[@kay.bandzz]

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

[@subashchandar7845]

Spoken like an angel 😇

[@DragonGoddess18]

Sounds petty

[@kay.bandzz]

@@DragonGoddess18 two wrongs don't make a right. what's petty is "getting your lick back" romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

[@canadiangemstones7636]

Funny how tRump, the new jesus, has never forgiven anybody. Such a good xian.

[@Pozywny]

christians be like god's love is unconditional then post a bunch of conditions for love

[@indigo5889]

1:46 Wanting revenge and actually doing it are different things. That's why people make movies about people who get revenge- because they know they shouldn't actually do it themselves. 6:30 Yeah, and lions also make female lions hunt all the food and then the male lions eat all of it. It doesn't mean we should do that. 8:27 Again, you're not actually encouraging him to take revenge, just to imagine it. Feelings of revenge are normal, but not everyone acts on them. You know who does act on them? Gangs. If you need a movie example, watch West Side Story.

[@tinkerbell7877]

A feeling comes and goes. That is normal. NURTURING a feeling creates physical neuropaths that become stronger until it no longer allows the filtering of reason because a bridge that goes straight to fire the connection has bern created.👉That is the character that at the end of a soap opera ends up submerged in hate or goes mad. She is proposing to normalize the pathological aspects of ourselves just like the rest of the woke lunatics trying to inject mental disorders as if it were beneficial to society. It is all bull... in exchange for academic fame and funds !

[@aliothspectranet5678]

So revenge seems good because it encourages cooperation and encourages people not to mess with you/your group, and it allows you more confidence and makes you feel like you're in control I would've loved a bit more exploration on actual psychological effect (and potential harm, after all there's a reason we view it as savagery, it would've done good for this talk to address the justifications we had there, potentially disarming them if the speaker overall disagreed) especially in relation to other methods of coping and dealing with exploitation. In the first place, maybe we should encourage extracting the anxiety from our mind over not being in control in the first place, given that 99.99% of people are not in control of what happens in their life She caveats at the very end that revenge eventually can turn to be harmful, but isn't the longterm thought what most people worry about with growing a habit of being revengeful? This is part of why I feel like it would matter to tackle the root of why people are uncomfortable with revenge vs "should we maybe not discourage it" which is arguably what people will interpret the talk as when you point out revenge as demonised. Like idk, maybe look into alternative methods of dealing with a trauma that our (and other) institutions in the area of psychology have made and see how they fare in comparison to wishing revenge, short-term and long-term

[@w.neuman]

"Vengence Is Mine Sayeth The °LORD" !

[@heyhorinshi]

Revange is just agry regret

[@ACE_6210]

The timing was insane

[@shadowthehedgehog181]

Why?

[@heyhorinshi]

Is a sign

[@andrewprahst2529]

The most unhinged Ted talk yet?

[@tinkerbell7877]

Unbelievable... I already fear for the men in her life... her neighbors or coworkers... how about her boss or anyone who "dares" make a mistake or be a broken human being near her -poor parents indeed and any elderly around her unable to keep up with this narcissist ! !

[@jerkywez1983]

Sorry but forgiveness is the key not revenge.

[@Broken_record]

We forgive for God forgive. We fear Him and his judgement. We are indebt to His forgive. Plus revenge is for the weak.

[@naimulIslam503]

She is a child, forgive her.

[@blood224]

This REEKS of the "correlation is not causation" fallacy and if anybody else reviewed her work they would see it too. Where is the acknowledgement of family beyond a single sentence? Why do we assume people in the past formed societies through violence and not the inherit prescense of the family struture? I wish psychologists would apply sociology to their work because this work needs it

[@LongdistanceRider22]

God is the one that is the final judge… just turn it over to him and forget it

[@rvsdjkgbjhvhchj]

Humans might be better than other species in planning and communicating revenge just like with any other cognitive task. But many other species including our closest relatives do acts of revenge too, which they probably evolved millions of years ago. You claim that humans are somehow fundamentally different in this regard and evolved their capacity for revenge just some thousands of years ago? how does that make sense?

[@aakuster]

T A R D S in the comments

[@Semper_Iratus]

They can be forgiven, only after the taste of much correction.

[@BOOLERTHANOPPS]

Sis woke up decided to speak facts 😭🔥🔥🔥

[@UnKnown-zs5ir]

The almighty has the answer to everything

[@cylonsteve2511]

"Thousands of years ago", humans weren't living in caves or scavenging for food 🤣

[@daniellescott6701]

No it got deleted. Okay yes I have played out scenarios funny creative ones. I have fairness and justice issues. But when I did do it. Most went off without a hitch. Epic ones. But then the guilt set in. I knew and felt what they were feeling. Embarrassed, hurt, public humiliation. So I pray now. And know it always comes back to them. Here or back home. I think still just don't act.

[@MS-ns4ki]

Unfortunately, due to insecure women, I am going to have difficulty for quite some time in my life because women are so incredibly jealous of me. It’s unbearable.

[@tinkerbell7877]

😂

[@143prettycool]

Why shud one person play with other feelings.

[@tinkerbell7877]

How many times do you think Cain THOUGHT about what he ended up DOING. This talk is misguided or ill intended. Awful !

[@leticiavasquez8566]

How does one afford a PhD...?? Asking for s friend😊

[@MS-ns4ki]

I will never get what I want and that absolutely kills me . There is no revenge . Just failure .

[@BOOLERTHANOPPS]

REVENGE ❤️‍🔥 >>>>

[@blackdragon796]

In the Bible, Jesus becomes a man to see and feel like a human. He was 100% God and man. He was without blemish and let himself get humiliated on the cross and die. So humans past present and future sins could be forgiven. This isn't just forgiveness, it is grace. Grace is the forgiveness you give someone who doesn't deserve it. That's why Christians are not supposed to hate or be offended by people. Because we all sinned against Jesus, we all hurted and rejected him. But instead of destroying us, he chosed to forgive.

[@BOOLERTHANOPPS]

Best TedTalk in the world 😭🔥🔥🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[@aakuster]

Simp.

[@BOOLERTHANOPPS]

REVENGE > the woman 💯

[@shirinabushaqra7172]

The world is exploding already and you want to press more buttons 😳 brilliant you !!! How about calming the middle ear, synchronising your left and right brain to stop being in a war approach? That's to begin with..

[@katwestbrook846]

I really Can’t

[@psantoshkumar5699]

May be i couldn't understood the concept or may be the concept and meaning went wrong some where . Which I could feel. And I'm sorry if I have given any wrong opinion. And yep it's just an opinion.

[@ktgiang]

59, Impressive...

[@gokselztrk]

Does she repeating some voice from an hidden headphone?

[@alwaysace3480]

What is this? Middle school?? Comon

[@Vic-lu6dk]

Forgiveness won't bring you any good and so does revenge

[@mariaantoniettamontella9173]

brava

[@mariehughey5390]

An eye for an eye is just a way to even things up, but just like dividing up community property 50/50, the idea doesn’t always fit reality. The Hatfields and McCoys is revenge gone awry.

[@JohnnyB263]

" tedtalk " trying revenge to be cool . Unfollowed

[@PureLightHealer]

This TEDTalk was not it.

[@MS-ns4ki]

This is awful and Katie is not very smart

[@feministescontreletransfascism]

+1

[@sixsixsix.]

Who wouldn't?🤣🤣

[@JK_JK_JK_JK]

Is this to do with OJ Simpson dying?!?! 🤔😕🧐

[@JD-og4ub]

ravahnge 😄

[@Soledithty]

But your genetic can change by your environment AND a relationship of a friend ✝️ Also your revenge should be manipulated by your own mind in my opinión AND I still working with that ... Good point of View 📦 🩶

[@dangarcia1617]

Spoken like a true women out of touch with reality 😂

[@aliciastanley5582]

That’s not what the women who were abused by their husbands said who burned their husbands in bed. Just sayin’😂

[@cylonsteve2511]

​@@aliciastanley5582Those women, you described, would be lowly murderers. Were they better than the abusers? I don't condone abuse or violence to anyone.