Special Interests.... Autism & Relationships 8

[@Polytunnel]

I think our "special interests" protect us from the world that seems so random and cruel. Without them, I think we might not consider life worth living. I have broad interests, some of which are permanent, some temporary and others that make return visits. I am lucky in that the immediate family I have all have need for solitude, although I obviously take it to a more extreme level, especially now. They haven't tried to "cure" me of them, although I am sometimes aware that they are sometimes frustrated/saddened that they aren't my priority. I wish they'd let me know when they need me. It's not that I intend to be cruel. This is going to be challenging, but I'll show them this video and hopefully we'll respect and understand each other more. My super interest is fiction - books & films. Certain books & films become important at different times and I never like being asked to rank them. Fiction always makes more sense. Thank you again for this extremely informative video. You understand both sides so well.

[@Autistamatic]

You've given a great example of one of the most integral problems in autistic/NT communication and therefore our relationships. As a rule autistic people don't pick up on hints terribly well, especially ones which relate to emotions. We need clear communication about such things. Give us that and the people around us are often surprised how accommodating we can be to their needs. Thanks again for commenting Rowena 😊

[@why2goatdagame]

I find that asking questions of why and how is what keeps me connected to the world. Especially towards other people. I stop asking question when I am no longer interested or have be come so overwhelmed that the multitude of answers don’t interconnect. It has to make since & if it doesn’t make sense I freak out or block people out. However, I want to understand. I’m supposed to try to understand. This is what I was taught by those who cannot fully understand themselves & wanted me to do better, but they couldn’t tell me how. Figure it out for yourself is always the go to for others who can’t explain the why or simply don’t know how themselves. This frustrates & those of us who want to continue to connect to others fold back inside!

[@Uatemysoul]

Right now for some reason it's sardines. A big one for me that has become a huge part of my own life is modeling. I like to build models of just about anything from Monsters, dioramas, ruined buildings, and play wargames and RPGs out of the things I create. When I make a new character I like to explore what that character will be like and it becomes a short special interest while the nuance is there. Until I move on to the next model. Sometimes the game world itself will become a special interest. Battletech for example is a very detail oriented game with a massive amount of lore and world building the game attracts autistic people and I don't know if the developer knew that it would. Sometimes I will hyperfocus on something and it will just kinda be me for a week or so. This being said my wife and I live as hermits and she thinks it's fun and interesting when I'm on whatever kick I'm on. But there is a patern to it. For whatever reason from Oct- dec I play MMOs. Feb-may is Battletech, April-july, is outdoor foraging and bonsai season. Lots of little things that have stuck around as special interests have a time of year for me.

[@robertjohnburton9775]

True, we focus. Sometimes we are not doing what we ought, but I find the world so confusing that I hid myself in my little 'worlds'.

[@turtleanton6539]

For sure

[@Scribbles222]

This is so hard for me because I love talking about my special interests. I try not to talk about them with people who aren't interested or talk too much, but that can be hard because everything seems to relate back and I just get so excited. People have told me I talk too much about these interests, and it hurts. I know it shouldn't because everyone has the right to be bored by some topics, but especially from people I love it feels like their rejection of hearing me info dump is a rejection of knowing me and who I am. Recently it's been really getting to me and any time I do start talking about a subject I'm in love with all I can think about is all the times in the past when people I loved told me to shut up about it. I find myself trying to avoid the subject, feeling dead inside when I do talk about it, and afterwards crying a lot, feeling very lonely. Ironically, people have been saying they miss that part of me and wish I would start sharing again, but I can't seem to bring myself to with the same energy as before. I hope this depression triggered by talking about my special interests lifts soon because I really do need it to cope and to feel loved.

[@kyleethekelt]

The fly in the ointment for me is that I often have no idea what my sister needs unless she actually tells me. By then she's way too frustrated and decides I'm of no use anyway. Your channel is absolute gold..

[@Autistamatic]

Hi Kylee. Thank you so much for your recent posts and I'm delighted you're finding the channel valuable. There's a few people in the comments I'd like to speak to directly because of a specific point they've raised, a personal perspective or a situation I'd like to learn more about. If you'd be open to chat with me, verbally or in writing, then please get in touch either by using the email address listed on the "about" tab here, or using the contact form on the Autistamatic website. Please don't feel obliged or pressured - your participation is invited and welcome but in no way expected or required. Oh... As to why it's an "a" and not an "o" in the middle of "Autistamatic"... that was a harder decision than I think most people realise but it's not something I can adequately explain on the page.

[@fran321tec]

I think I've got a special interest on autism... Quite useful despite the irony

[@turtleanton6539]

All of us those😊😊😊

[@turtleanton6539]

Does😊

[@why2goatdagame]

The why, the how, & the result! ❤️.... This is all I ever wanted to know.

[@WestchesterWadoRyu]

Your videos are fantastic--the best on the subject that I've found on KZbin. You deserve much more traffic, and I have to believe you'll get it eventually. Thank you for the work you're doing.

[@dahrunriver2924]

Is constant frustration and complaining about not having enough time for special interests part of autism? And how much time is enough? Can autistics ever get enough? 30, 40, 50 hours a week?

[@markdeffebach8112]

I have done deep dives into all the stereotypical special interests you mentioned at the beginning of this video. 😅 The first was trains at 2yo when I had a train track visible from the back yard.

[@autiejedi5857]

Wonderful! This can definitely be a source of friction in relationships. Thank you for this discussion 💜

[@markdeffebach8112]

I'm painfully aware of how uninterested others are in my special interests in the same way I'm bored by small talk

[@Gigi-wb8pe]

Sharing your descriptions of these topics is helping me in my relationship in very real, tangible ways. Thank you.

[@paavohirn3728]

Yet another wonderful video ❤️ I'm listening this to calm down to sleep and I must say the noise in the middle part of the video was extremely distracting for me. Anyway, I'll definitely keep your videos in mind if i can get people to look into the autistic mind. Such clarity and insight.

[@brendanmead7785]

You make it sound so easy sorry I tried this so many times in a failed to presented for even trying and resented for trying

[@infidelcastor]

5:22 Monotropism

[@infidelcastor]

7:31 Function of special interest

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes

[@turtleanton6539]

Very accurate

[@turtleanton6539]

😊😊😊😊

[@davidsnidertechandmore1940]

I love trains legos and computers and fans and monster trucks and light bulbs and animals and audio systems Minecraft HVAC

[@davidbolger2000AD]

Heavy Metal especially NWOBHM, the 60s, 70s and 80s, The Who, Motörhead, Hells Angels/Harley Davidsons, Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien and the works and writings of JRR Tolkien, Warhammer and Warhammer 40K and the rest of Games Workshop, Epic High Fantasy Novels/Literature (NO no not you Harry Potter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're *VASTLY OVERRATED SORRY BUT YAH NOT SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO GAME OF THRONES VERY OVERRATED TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)* Wizards/Socerors and Dragons, Sci Fi and Star Wars (which I *SERIOUSLY WISHED WERE BASED ON BOOKS EXCEPT FROM THE AWFUL SEQUEL TRILOGY THAT KATHLEEN KENNEDY, JJ ABRAMS AND RIAN JOHNSON BROUGHT US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN WHY THE HELL DIDN'T GEORGE LUCAS WRITE THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY AS A SERIES OF BOOKS WELL BEFORE HE BECAME A FILMMAKER/PRODUCER/DIRECTOR??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE COULD'VE WRITTEN THE PREQUEL TRILOGIES IN HIS SPARE TIME AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)* are all musts for what I like to call "Obsessions" *INSTEAD* as *AUTISTIC PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Those are all mine what are yours Quinn???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

I love Star Wars Princess Leia was my favorite, and now my absolute love is baby Yoda😂😂

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

I think I have under 20 special interest.