Autistic Masking Study and the Decision to Hide Autism

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Proudly Autistic

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@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

Do you mask? How do you feel it?

@DWSP101 11 ай бұрын

The scoring range for the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) is from 25 to 175. Higher scores on this test indicate greater camouflaging, which refers to the strategies used by individuals to compensate for difficulties in social situations, such as copying body language and facial expressions or learning social cues from movies and books . I scored 159 and I’m pretty sure it’s actually 160 I think it’s because one of the questions might’ve confused me a little but how does it affect me feeling disingenuous but still caring but not being able to express yourself in the way that is accepted in social norms doing it just to blend in and not stick out to be able to get friends but learning who is genuine, and who’s not difficult even in relationships hard to tell the differentiation between genuine and disingenuous usually high masking individuals have a lot of problems in their interpersonal relationships due to the fact that the autistic mask comes off when they come home and they’re in there supposed to be safe place if you’re a high masker, but high masking can also come off as being a catfish, and being disingenuous when it’s an attempt to appear as best as you can, and do better than what you normally do or hide in adequacies that come from the condition it’s extremely difficult draining exhausting every time you come home you’re completely exhausted especially if your mask is a extrovert but your natural self at home is an introvert, and it adds even more complexity when you have high alexithymia Which I also do have. The Empathy Quotient test I scored a 20 The Empathy Quotient (EQ) test on Embrace Autism has a scoring range of 0 to 80. A threshold score of 30 or lower is notable, as research indicates that 81% of individuals previously diagnosed with Asperger syndrome score below this threshold. For context, the average score for non-autistic males is around 42, while non-autistic females average around 47 . Deficit like this require an individual to mask drastically to be able to fit into social norms and society, even being unaware of your own anxiety, but still suffering, the side effects. Masking in my opinion is a bad thing due to the detriment of damage, that it has done on relationships and making people feel that you are disingenuous as well as losing a sense of your actual identity due to you wearing the mask so long you start to realize you don’t really know yourself that well I’ve only started to take that mask off except the deficit the disabilities inability to understand certain aspects but still care but unfortunately empathy plays a role in this problem as well and I see that. I think one of the reasons why I’m able to mask so well is simply for the fact that I have a high IQ and my special interest is in psychology, philosophy, autism, ADHD, dyslexia, neurological differences in understanding in mimicry of people, trying to do my best to try to be as normal as possible. When only did I just now start realizing the stems I used to do as a child they still work today and I started doing them again and it started to help me with regulating Mask ultimately makes you appear as disingenuous as well as damaging relationships, and as well as being perceived in the wrong light. It also damages your internal self identity, which self reflection heals that just a tip for those who struggle with the same as me. I hope that’s a detailed enough message..

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

@@DWSP101 I got a 141 on the CatQ, which I thought was pretty high. I can't imagine a 160. I agree that IQ plays some part in it. I also think date of diagnosis and your support system is also important. I didn't know until I was 40, so I was constantly pushing myself to "do better", not knowing why things were so hard. I also did not have a great support system growing up. I was told to just figure things out and stop complaining. There wasn't a lot of support in regards to embracing who I am. I had to learn that post diagnosis. I agree that masking can make you "hard to read" and therefore people may act somewhat cautious around us. It also damages our identity because we've learned to be what others expect of us rather than what is intuitive. Thank you for the thoughtful comment!

@aaacomp1 11 ай бұрын

Yes. And I am tired. I am now experiencing something that I can't quite put my finger on. I feel guilty and angry with myself for not being my authentic self but then sometimes when the mask slips then I feel ashamed and embarrassed for letting people see the real me. I realized that as i've gotten older I have isolated more in order to not have to mask. And then when I have to do it, I experience these new feelings of guilt, anger, shame, embarrassment. I have reached a point of being uncomfortable masking and then being uncomfortable not masking. Which is making things extremely difficult. I have recently been trying to have more social contact with people and I think that might have lead to this new found problem. I don't know how to get through it other than to start isolating again.

@1ReikiFloW 6 ай бұрын

i avoid people so I don't have to mask when I am too tired to deal with them. I think we can easily see how little emotional intelligence most neurotypicals have by the insane amount of masking we have to do just to be slightly accepted. It is too hard and tiring so yes, I have been more vocal about it to educate others on this and get them to change the dynamics. Great work, again. I so appreciate all this information because I have memory recall issues and you are so concie and organize. I tend to go on and on when I am not centered.......it's really annoying. I can't follow a script and a list, I still get lost but EFT techniques help a ton to self regulate. It's the mix of CPTSD and autism, and my temperament, always worried. I work hard to lower all that and many days now are great.

@sascha6841 11 ай бұрын

I scored 163, I never knew myself. Masking was my identity. And even now I don't trust myself for being someone I created to cope with my reality. Forgive me, my thoughts are all over the place right now. I love your voice and how you talk.

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

I scored a 141. It amazes me how high everyone's scores are as I thought mine was too high. It's so exhausting. Please give yourself grace, you're just doing what you need to do to get by. We're all in this together 💛

@JAYSCHULBERG-b9u 11 ай бұрын

I scored 131 on the CAT-Q.Masking is exhausting and I need recuperation time after social interaction.When I was young I was told that I would never get a job if I didn't look at the person interviewing me.I had to learn to survive.I'm 70 now and I have to say I'm kind of tired of trying to be "normal"not that I was ever totally successful at it.Great video!

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

Yeah, I'm over it too, although I don't think I can stop. It's a mix of not knowing how and being afraid of the repercussions. I wish I could stop on principle but income is a pretty big motivator 🤷 it's very exhausting.

@jaseman 6 ай бұрын

I don't think I mask very much if at all - I'm not good at it, but this has had a very high cost for me. I live in total isolation and I'm a social outcast. I'm sure it's held me back in my career - without a doubt - but also because of my PDA - I can't pass exams. Even the study material for exams is totally incompatible with how I operate. However I'm not stupid - I believe that I am much smarter than most people and I help people massively everyday in my IT support role. Somehow I have managed to stay married for 20 years and have an 18 year old son who is doing well and training to be an airline pilot, I have a job (Very poorly paid) but I have a nice house and 2 Audi's.

@superdani152003 6 ай бұрын

The first question after ky therapist told me that I've been masking was "who am I then?"and I'm still discovering my answer

@georginashanti4605 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for making this video, raising awareness about masking & its impacts, & presenting research about this important topic! 💖💐

@TakeMeToYourLida 3 ай бұрын

It’s especially difficult if you have an unsupportive NT manager/environment who loves the colleague who’s bullying you. But you have to fight for yourself and go to HR if it’s untenable for you. You will get help eventually but don’t give up.

@AliiKattTalks 11 ай бұрын

Not sure where to categorize this, but my GM told a coworker they were the "Alii whisperer", being that she's the only one that can properly communicate with me and understands how to relay information as well. Sometimes, our coworkers are the accommodation we didn't know we had!

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

I'm glad they are supportive. However, I hope your gm can learn to communicate with you better, without relying on others. It's their job to figure out how to effectively communicate with their employees. Sorry if I misunderstood the situation and am overstepping. I just want you to be treated equally 💛

@kikitauer 11 ай бұрын

I think the main reason for need for excessive masking in job is that we don't really have a choice. We just need to cooperate with people we didn't choose every day and we need to be capable to do so because we need the money. In work everybody masks, not only us. We have it much harder but the truth is that everybody is presenting at work. I agree that more research is needed. Maybe there is a better way how to do this.

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

Agree, we all do it. I think part of it is the double empathy issue though. We have to mask to overcome double empathy in addition to presenting professionally. The study included neurodivergent individuals too, although there were significantly more Autistic participants. One of the problems was in how the study was conducted. It was self administrated and many NTs who felt they didn't mask stopped answering the questionnaire. The study includes a lot of quotes from the participants on their experiences which is nice.

@kikitauer 11 ай бұрын

@@ProudlyAutistic Great point that we have it harder because of the double empathy problem. I didn't read the study but maybe the neurotypical people, that felt like they didn't mask, didn't actually know the definition of masking. Or it was defined in a way that they really did not mask.

@DWSP101 11 ай бұрын

@lifetotheminimal1211 11 ай бұрын

Keep up the great content!

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

I'm working on it! Thank you ☺️

@manixburn6403 5 ай бұрын

Being denied, always, even here. Never raise your head. This is here, like everywhere else. Never look at the big picture. Can just wait for doom so.

@benjaminvoss7987 4 ай бұрын

Feels odd to admit but I work as a driver because I can’t handle working with other people on a consistent basis. The constant rumination of social interactions in a typical work environment where I am masking makes me feel so terrible, alone in the truck though I am free to be as autistic and weird as I want 😂. It frustrates me though being I know can achieve more but I’m also grateful to have a job I don’t absolutely dread.

@ProudlyAutistic 4 ай бұрын

I've also made career decisions to accommodate my autism, even before I was diagnosed. I just knew that certain situations didn't suit me well and that I needed to figure out alternatives. Even so, I should be doing less as work absolutely burns me out. The problem, as you noted, is feeling challenged. It's such a big driver for me, I can't step back, even if that's what is best for me. It's frustrating that we have to make that choice.

@DWSP101 11 ай бұрын

Theme seven the individuals that are capable of turning off the masking at will and theme eight individuals who incorporate their mask into their very be losing a large portion of self identity An interesting aspect I incorporated my mask into my identity, lost a large portion of understanding my own inner core self detrimentally dangerous it is. I’ve seen those who can turn it off and on, and the people that do that particularly turning it on and off those individuals I have seen that they always suffered from some form of trauma. I don’t know, but individuals in seven match a profile of what I’ve experienced, and those individuals , do it even more as a survival mechanism a tool a skill set were theme eight individuals did it out of an undeveloped sense of self it’s a complex matter, but these are only thesis. I’ve came up with.

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

@darkworldstoriesblankfacep6089 I think you nailed it. Theme 7 is more conscious. I think the person knows who they are, but they choose to present differently. I'd have to look back at the study, but I'm curious if this theme pulled largely from the neurotypical respondents. In theme 8, the person doesn't understand their identity well enough to delineate what is authentic. I think it's a theme many of us can relate to.

@DWSP101 11 ай бұрын

@@ProudlyAutistic I don’t talk to many people about my ideas or connections, even though I don’t say much seem to point in the correct direction. A lot of people tell me I seem to be able to make connections a lot of people do not see I contribute that to the ADHD aspect of me. And multiple neurodivergent issues I have. Oddly enough being ASD, ADHD, and dyslexic, have created a very unique understanding of comprehension skills developed in a weird way.

@Ezio-ud1ic 11 ай бұрын

I am suspecting I have autism. But I’m in a dilemma if i really qualify for being autistic. I am diagnosed with SAD, I gave 2 tests online and they gave results of autism. I relate with autistic peoples experiences. My therapist told me to take a neuropsychological assessment. I’m going to take it soon, Do you have any suggestions for me

@ProudlyAutistic 11 ай бұрын

If you're able to afford the assessment and that would be helpful for you, then I'd do it. It is nice to have that second opinion and validation. However, many of their questions will be more or less consistent with what you can find online. I've taken many of the tests on the Embrace Autism website and they seem pretty accurate. I was personally diagnosed by a psychologist for a fraction of the cost of a traditional assessment. Some say my diagnosis is invalid because it didn't involve all the questionnaires, which is ridiculous. Honestly, if a practitioner can't identify autism through clinical observation, they aren't very competent and probably have no business treating autism. Just my opinion. There are always going to be people who question your autism diagnosis. Try to ignore them. Autism is so stigmatized, it's not something anyone really volunteers for. If you think you're Autistic, you probably are. I believe most Autistic people know they're different very early in life. Even if they don't have a name for it, they know they're different and this difference becomes more and more apparent as they get older. You can "feel" autism as there's a very clear friction between you and others (double empathy problem). You'll also notice that things seems harder or less intuitive for you than they do for others. I found once I got past the stereotypes and actually understood what it meant to be Autistic, it all clicked. It was very obvious that I HAD to be Autistic and I had zero doubt. I think many Autistic people share this experience. I hope this helps. It sounds like you're on the right track 💛

@Ezio-ud1ic 11 ай бұрын

When I had one session with my therapist (my sessions are in online video call mode) about my query on autism, she asked me questions based on some criteria, but said as per her assessment I am not autistic, but I personally felt that assessment was based on a few misconceptions about autism. She said autistic people exhibit aggressive behaviour sometimes and they don’t even realise that its not normal, whereas i don’t have any such behaviours. And another point was eye contact, she said you are maintaining eye contact which autistic people don’t maintain at all ( I had trouble making eye contact earlier I used to speak by looking elsewhere, but in recent years I make eye contact It improved as I understood how to make eye contact correctly) But she said its hard to believe that it could improve so quickly if you were autistic. in case you want to double check you can visit so and so hospitals and get another assessment. I shared videos about monotropism and how I relate with some videos of others on the spectrum. So Not sure if this assessment was correct. I will surely take the neuropsychological assessment my only worry is how accurately it will predict if I have Autism. I don't know how that assessment is performed I could not find much about it. I also felt very different my entire life, especially when socialising, I always felt something is different the way I’m functioning, social interactions just never felt natural to me, except with individual conversations 1-2 people at a time, that too with people I am familiar with. I would have told you many more things but can’t say it here. I always knew there was something different in me when i was a child i thought I lacked confidence, when I turned 16 i realised im introvert and thought this must be it, when I turned 18 I realised i have social anxiety and thought this was it, but now im 27 and in the recent years i have been thinking there was something more than just introversion and SAD. Then when I explored autism (one of my friend told me I sounded autistic recently) I realised I might actually be, and this might be the thing that makes me feel different. I wish I could interact with people on the spectrum, it might help me to assess myself. Thanks for your response and motivation 💛

@Waldemar_la_Tendresse 5 ай бұрын

@@ProudlyAutistic Nothing to add. 😂 Have you ever thought about coaching autistic people? Just an idea, because you struggle with regular jobs like all of us. I think you know your stuff pretty well.