Avoidant red flags

#redflags #avoidant #avoidantattachment #dating #relationship #relationshipcoach #fearfulavoidant #dismissiveavoidant #situationship #insecureattachment #attachment #emotionallyunavailable

[@ReleasebyV.R]

It’s true they end things when it starts getting too close. The only time he expressed vulnerability when he got into an accident and said ‘he wished I was there with him and he could use a hug’ and that was the end of it, the slow fade started, he started saying he doesn’t miss me 1 week later and it all ended in 2weeks. I walked away, healing and no contact for 6mo now.

[@Flufero23]

Exactly. When he expressed deep feelings, he began the slow fade. One thing I noticed is that he kept ALL ex's as friends. (except me).

[@ScottH7651]

Relationship history is the first thing I look at. If they ended most or all, watch out!!! Really good content. Thanks.

[@fantazm79]

I remember how my ex love bombed me. If love is a drug, I was chasing the pink dragon

[@beaker7353]

As I found out myself, devastating and traumatic discard. I ignored the anxiety he made me have by not replying to txts for 3 days, or reading them and not replying. Saying he loved me on the 3rd time together. It was so intense at the start, even the first date. We lived 2 hrs apart. So when we saw each other the passion was intense. But was being breadcrumbed the weeks in-between. I asked for more communication due to my anxiety. He said that's my problem. He'd had loads of relationships. The longest being with an ex he called toxic. He said he'd never been in such a loving relationship before me. So I just thought I'll just keep being nice and calm when he calls. I had to go on anxiety meds. And yes due to my not knowing about attachment styles, the discard pulled the rug from my feet. I have no closure and am in pain 3 weeks on 😢💔

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

Try Thais Gibson's Personal Development School. I think she's doing a 14 day free trail right now. This will sound insensitive, but I agree that our emotions are our own problems to deal with as well. I test secure now (still don't feel fully secure) but I have always been a fearful avoidant (both anxious and avoidant). I've leaned avoidant in most of my relationships until I dated someone even more avoidant than myself and it brought out my repressed anxiety. I ended it with us and joined the school to heal the anxiety and also learn to pick better partners. My avoidant ex is a sweetheart and I have zero animosity towards him nor do I blame him. It's just better to heal ourselves and focus on us instead of them.

[@georginafronda496]

OMG everything you said was my ex DA. He gave himself away by his words. Loved talking at me so I listened and each time he revealed him I pulled further away. For example he mentioned he like to go silent for days and he liked to detach when in my presence. Did not believe in compromising and was very independent. His guard was mentioned several times in conversation and would not talk about attachment theory which I brought up to text him. Said it was a rubbish theory - I took a mental note and pulled back. Can you believe this guy was a qualified psychologist and public speaker. Gave off air of confidence but was very insecure in his speech. Loved to brag about his achievements and things he know and just spoke at me continuously. I watched and took mental note and pulled back. He mentioned toxic relationships and again I took mental not and pulled back. Said he didn’t miss me as he didn’t miss people again mental note and I pulled back. Finally he picked a nonsense argument and I broke up with him. Just 3 months distance dating him and that was enough for me. It was a very odd and weird experience and one not to repeat. My gut kept telling something was off and it was right. Lesson learned and onwards. Have paid attention now…excellent and very truthful video…thank you

[@S5Dic09]

geez you weren't the brightest (for sure & by far) in school

[@Sanecatlady74]

Their are no red flags in the bginning sir. They can act like the most charming secure person and lie about everything. They mastered that skill of being the perfect partner. They even communicate. Usually around the three months mark, their mask can not be hold up anymore. And than the partner is allready hooked. And the shitshow starts. 😂😂

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

But can't you agree that after healing you can look back and see the red flags that you missed? At the beginning of relationships we're all kind of wearing rose colored glasses and ignoring things that we should be paying attention too. After I split up with people I kinda shake my head and say "Yup...you ignored a clear red flag again." Also, a major thing to watch out for is if they seem too good to be true. Nobody is perfect and if someone is trying to portray this...red flag.

[@michaelrodriguez9325]

Mines was two months

[@Sanecatlady74]

​@@michaelrodriguez9325 They cant hold it for long. Than you run!

[@Sanecatlady74]

Oh the two i had were really good. And i am secure and i do not believe in magical bs 😂😂 When the red flags came i left. But they are good at hiding it for a while. I dont do crazy insecure shit. Dont were rose glasses. I observe. Dont open the heart to soon . But there are no red flags in the beginning. They are really masters of some dark evil art! 😂😂 Just do not love them! Than it starts to show. 😂😂😂 Crazy people. ...

[@karltan9461]

God damn right, around 3 months.....you're accurate e

[@ke1tor]

The hot and cold messaging, holy shit, look out for that. It's a SUREFIRE sign. I've encountered it twice, and even though I am secure myself, and having avoidant tendencies, I can spot that a mile away by now. They'll gush on you all of the sudden, then they might just as well withdraw from you. I don't fall for this anymore, and see avoidants as simply other travelers through life, but I won't bite at their hot and cold behavior and assume that they at some point will withdraw for good. Spent 14 years with an avoidant so I feel like a master at spotting them now.

[@karltan9461]

Yeah holy shit. Your gut keeps telling you, why the inconsistency? One day they're love bombing, the next day zero emojis. it goes like this, after the initial infatuation wears off. then soon after comes the discard with the vague whatever nonsense reason that normal people never ever give.

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

One of the WORST things about the avoidant I dealt with, is that he would push me away, but guilt trip, emotionally, verbally and mentally abuse me into staying. He wouldn't treat me right AND he wouldn't let me leave. After 6 years if back and forth, I blocked him and quite literally ran home where I knew he wouldn't dare set foot because I told my parents he was a bad partner. He would've never left me alone without intervention from others. A terrible way to spend 6 years...

[@CoachRyanH]

Sounds more narcissistic than avoidant.

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

Def a narc. I've never met an avoidant like this.

[@Sanecatlady74]

​@@SunshineAndSnowflakes They are like this but cant do it for six years 😂😂😂.

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

@@Sanecatlady74 well I mean, you don't know every avoidant. Lol Like I said, I never once saw this behavior from an avoidant and I've dated a few. I have seen it from an anxious ex I had years ago though. Her story sounds like narcissism..

[@dorisselinedancepassion9331]

Very similar to narcs actually

[@2dakim467]

Thanks so much! I feel sorry for all these emotional problems people have.

[@gregorystinette8271]

Epic content

[@EsmereldaIndigo]

YES! He had a few 7 year, 2 failed engagements, and many short-terms.

[@inspiredx3866]

Facts!

[@bigbob4621]

Wish i had come across this info years ago. Would have saved me 7 years with 3 no contact periods initiated by the same woman. 8 months since the last ghosting. So she's due back anytime. But now that I understand her issue i won't fall for her again. I'll just enjoy the fun while it lasts.

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

That's a risky game to play to "enjoy the fun while it lasts" lol. Don't you want to end this to find someone healthier for you?

[@S5Dic09]

l o s e r

[@ralucamera6574]

Thanks❤

[@waynesmith4861]

Thanks man

[@janelleallbritton2199]

Good stuff.

[@tabarnakopoulos]

I ended relationships 2 times in my life. I'm 51. I told them exactly why I ended the relationships, and it was because I felt they were ignoring my boundaries too much . Otherwise I've been often on the receiving end of a discard.

[@tonygueug4342]

🙏🙏👍👍♥♥✨✨