Unlikely Things to Hear on a Gardening Programme | Mock the Week - BBC

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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer-Home Dara O Briain and the team return for another series of the topical comedy featuring guests Ed Byrne, Matt Forde, Milton Jones, Zoe Lyons and Josh Widdicombe. In this clip, the panellists suggest things you would never hear on a TV gardening programme.
Comedy show combining the best elements of panel show, stand-up and improvised games with two teams of comedians taking a satirical swipe at the news and world events.
Mock The Week | Series 14 Episode 5 | BBC Two
#BBC #BBCMockTheWeek #MockTheWeek
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[@thejordyoshi]

I love Ed's enthusiasm.

[@JoRatcliff]

"And once you have laid your new patio, no policeman will suspect there's a body underneath it"

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

The 'body under the patio' joke has been done to death. All we need to do now is lay the patio over it.

[@romainsavioz5466]

@@Pining_for_the_fjords because he done the hidding a long time ago

[@SuperMarioDWfan]

Not seeing blue peter the same way again XD

[@petesperandio]

As an American, and as a man named Peter, when I heard the name of that show, that's the first thing I thought of.

[@CliftonPhotographer]

"For a good size garden, you'll need about 5-10 pounds of fresh fertilizer. Now to get that I have to eat 20-30 prunes every day."

[@flyawaytodie]

"At the end of that round, the points go to Ed, Hugh, and Miltaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn"

[@indiacr6865]

"And after you've covered that up nicely, you should be able to collect the life insurance money in a few weeks"

[@AutomaticDuck300]

How about: I usually get my gardening tools from B&Q but I have recently been banned because a member of staff asked me if I wanted decking, so I punched him in the face.

[@davidlance5310]

2:49- Suddenly, pineapples

[@AlexanderEdoh2013]

David Lance Does the asdfmovie strike in your head when you say that?

[@TheTradge]

@@AlexanderEdoh2013 - I think that was the joke....

[@aarondixon3312]

@@AlexanderEdoh2013 its almost as if that's why he made the joke

[@pineapplepenumbra]

Yes... Pineapples...

[@AMalas]

The good news is that you no longer have brain cancer

[@Showmetheevidence-]

Milton is so whacky... and so funny

[@dariushcreates]

"as you can see this carnivorous plant has grown a magnificent height and.... HOLY SHIT ITS ALIVE!! CUT TO COMMERCIALS!! CUT TO COMMERCIALS!!!! AAAAH!!"

[@michaelscott6022]

Dariush Asadi "Feed me, Seymore!"

[@arthurvasey]

VOICE FROM GALLERY: We can’t cut to commercials! This is the BBC!

[@TomFynn]

Broadcast on the day of the Triffids.

[@DomDomTheFirst]

I'm pinching that last joke Ed 👌 😂

[@itookallthenames]

I was weeding my alphabetically arranged herb garden this morning and there was a gap between the sage and the thyme. Where’s the Tarragon?

[@just-tess]

👏👏👏

[@DeathMetalheadish]

"None of these baby seals have faces"

[@faaizsidat7828]

DeathMetalheadish I don't get it

[@jennyjohn704]

@@faaizsidat7828 They're aubergines (eggplants). He tells you this at the start of the joke.

[@silvasilvasilva]

Milton's mind is surely a strange place.

[@pookywooky42]

And now I have new nightmare fuel from the concept of making gnomes from small children

[@CliftonPhotographer]

Then don't watch Wax Museum the horror movie. Although they weren't really young kids. But I'm sure the kids have been done in a horror movie. Anyone know?

[@hartejsinghsaund8249]

Surely the Thyme should be next to the Tarragon

[@MikeyJMJ]

Tarragon comes before it, Sage comes after it so technically he's still right

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Sir Klopp but S comes before T

[@ploppyploppy]

lol epic alphabet fail

[@ayelemensah8816]

Maybe he doesn’t like tarragon and simply has none. There, problem fixed!

[@darjanator]

@@ayelemensah8816 Maybe he ran out. It's just tarra-gone.

[@NosajKnows]

Oh Ed

[@user-wq6hr9xi2n]

havent seen that woman before but thought she was good!

[@TheTradge]

Zoe Lyons, she's been on a few years now, used to be shit but has gotten a lot better over the years =) largely because she doesn't just make jokes about being a woman or being a lesbian, she can get quite dark.

[@KhanivoreQniba]

Posh boys only! This is the Garden of Eton.

[@maetamonxg7718]

this is my favourite line-up

[@Pinkybum]

That UKIP joke was a lot cleverer than first appeared.

[@IlGreven]

I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order as well. Here's the start: Mr. Alpert, RIP. We'll always have Spanish Flea.

[@kjamison5951]

IlGreven LOL! Don’t forget Mr Hancock!

[@thedndtavern5366]

3:00 is best part

[@jaggass]

''whilst building this greenhouse dave farted in it and classed it as a greenhouse gas''

[@breemakena3402]

😂😂😂😂can't stop laughing

[@chrisgarton4225]

Ah spring is here, time to wet my plants.

[@anthonymichaeleardley494]

🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍 AAAAGH!!! The PINAPPLES!!!!!

[@MrSamBerrett1]

We found hundreds of parasites in Maureen's garden, which was giving her a really itchy fanny

[@somerandomarmydude]

2:51 The British Nick Nolte.

[@mjhauptfleisch614]

Parsley Sage Rosemary and Thyme

[@Catesgarden]

Oh my gosh, too funny.

[@Adam-vy6nl]

Eyyyy Epsom 👌🏻👌🏻

[@tabitha9723]

I want the thumbnail framed😂

[@alexnorman4919]

"So when you're planting an oak tree you really need a very deep and really wide hole like this one I've dug right here, actually forget the bloody tree I think I can get that body in here.!!!!....."

[@evemadden5974]

Today we're going to be surprising Mr West with a total garden overhaul. We're going to start with the patio......

[@jaggass]

''Can you start a digging a hole? its just that ive got nowhere to hide my victim''

[@iamrianad]

My guy you're not funny in the slightest

[@adammc2339]

How come they all looked like they were fighting back laughter before the first joke? 😂

[@avinotion]

The magic of edit

[@adammc2339]

@@avinotion a very random place to edit in subtle snickering :/

[@avinotion]

@@adammc2339 haven't you noticed the laughter is never in place, at least at the part where Dara finishes announcing the next title? Also, I didn't say it's good magic :)

[@shanhussain6114]

My entry: A lot of people ask me how do I get such a good yield from my garden? My secret, I never use commercial fertilizers; I always make it a point to shit in the field

[@Ravenofthedog]

Their should be a gardening hosted by a stoner. That would be interesting.

[@kwanarchive]

"Let's plant the shit out of some trees!"

[@PAWNB3YOND]

We have to curry cause we don't have thyme

[@iball310369]

Next to the tarragon

[@melvsummit2367]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@pauldockree9915]

Sod the lawns let us concentrate on them borders. Sod? Clever eh?

[@luuketaylor]

Just wait until they find the triffids...

[@edwardharriss1463]

"So make sure you varnish the surface really well if shutting you wife up is number one on your list"

[@lexwho.]

What’s the name of the woman in the white shirt?? She’s so jokes 😂😂😂

[@dez3540]

Yeah man she's great isn't she 😂 Her name's Zoe Lyons

[@louth2882]

“And this is how the French women trim their bush”

[@kylestubbs8867]

1:51 Explain please.

[@dez3540]

My only thought is that there was a dead body under there lol

[@jamiebrown3972]

Ahh shit I killed the plants again

[@KenzoSnizzle]

dara looks like he had an eye infection :s

[@henrikhyrup3995]

He had.

[@emiliabeckett1974]

What's the name of the lady?

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Zoe Lyons

[@joanneaugust6611]

I don't get the last one

[@CliftonPhotographer]

How do you find the "thyme". (Which is pronounced time and is an herb.) Alphabetically, next to the Sage would be Thyme.

[@alexandradelliou]

2020: 3530

[@jocelynrose2322]

I don't get that last one...

[@CliftonPhotographer]

How do you find the "thyme". (Which is pronounced time and is an herb.) Alphabetically, next to the Sage would be Thyme.

[@tyrenmcclain4815]

mr fruit

[@wythore]

How can you do a segment about gardening with no puns with the word Hoe??????????????????????

[@kylestubbs8867]

Like this.

[@lewisstent1308]

Watch out PETER will on you

[@jaggass]

''Why doesn't Charlie Dimmock just put on a bra?'''

[@kjamison5951]

Michael Langley She doesn’t have too, she has legions of supporters!

[@andymac4883]

Oh, so the gay joke gets a more disgusted response than the shovel in the back of a pet's head? I see how it is MtW audience :p

[@amir123786]

Frankie Boyle is missed from this show. He used to open the door of no level of respect. Lol

[@TDFF4]

Amir Hali the racist door?

[@noelsullivan4891]

Amir coolio!me RY

[@michaelrawson6261]

I'm sorry, Matt Forde just isn't funny...

[@Alan-hq6ei]

Michael Rawson humour is subjective 😂

[@dez3540]

In my opinion, Russell Howard isn't funny...

[@terrythomas1329]

You gotta feel sorry for Zoe Lyons - Cherie Blair lookalike, I mean who'd want that?