Beauty and the Beast Part 1 (With Some Jerk with a Camera!) - Brows Held High

Original upload date: 9/9/2014
A special musical overview of a tale as old as time. No, not that one.
Like the songs? You can download them here! tony-goldmark.bandcamp.com/al...
See Tony Goldmark's excellent work here! / tonygoldmark
All third party clips are used under Fair Use.
Follow me on Twitter: / kylekallgren
Tumblr: / actuallykylekallgren
Or see my archive on Chez Apocalypse: chezapocalypse.com/series/brow...
You can support the channel on Patreon: / kkallgren

[@Khadharphak]

"YOU WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! WE'RE IN FUCKING DISNEYLAND, MOTHERFUCKER!" Still one of my favourite lines ever.

[@Hecuba107]

18:43

[@jamiec9260]

It's funny how this 1940s film manages to have a more expressive beast than the 2017 one

[@afterdinnercreations936]

No kidding, sheesh

[@brandonspain12345]

And the original was a man in lawyers of makeup.

[@ManOutofTime913]

To be fair, the script didn't give him any emotions to express other than smugness.

[@robbiewalker2831]

@@ManOutofTime913 Nice one! 😝

[@whitherwhence]

New entry on my bucket list: write a story that involves a crowd reacting to something with "How is this art?" "Artists have souls?" "I can torture Sam Kieth?"

[@bobbyshaddoe3004]

For all it's humor, it also seems to highlight a common enough theme among critics, particularly online critics:. The idea that all they do is say something is garbage and seem to want to hate in everything, and don't giveych thought to any degree of serious analysis and that any attempt to show true appreciation for something artistic somehow makes you snobbish and pretentious and a douchebag and somehow not normal, which is kinda rich when one considers the legions of internet critics that develop personas in order to appeal to a subset of a subset of a subset of a subset of the population by focusing on very specifics things for their specific and niche review shows.

[@MaricaAmbrosius]

"She just said she wants a monkey! This IS a masterpiece!"

[@sabrinaking1873]

I think the idea with the Disney beast is that he gave up on the idea of ever being human again until Belle came along. Then he began an arc of recovering his humanity and gaining more respectable morals.

[@lasers0pewpew]

Every two months or so, I rewatch these 3 episodes - I love everything from the jokes to the depth of the analysis, to the clever lyrics of the songs. Kyle, you are the most likeable pretentious snob that I know.

[@Lucylle]

Same

[@Alejandroigarabide]

Same here!

[@sebastianemond5313]

13:13 LOL!! I totally lost it when Some Jerk said "KITTY!" My thoughts exactly!

[@EHH246]

"Sure, we COULD get a FastPass, but those are for poor people!" I love that line. Mostly because I know what a FastPass is. And Jerk's "snooty woman" voice.

[@monhunterz5430]

Who's ever been to Disneyland relatedly and not know what a fast-pass

[@howdypardner6278]

Everypne knows what a fastpass is.

[@rbck8826]

Is that the English name for the pass i get to skip queues because i have asp and adhd?

[@rbck8826]

@@howdypardner6278 so could you explain it to me?

[@Jackie-McCann]

I saw the trailer for the upcoming live action Disney version, and one of the comments said, and I quote: _"Jean Cocteau must be turning in his grave."_ I immediately thought of you as soon as I read it. XD

[@ericanervous]

Jackie McCann is a z

[@layne721]

This was the best Channel Awesome crossover, and it barely had anything to do with the Walkers. Well done.

[@coolnerdlll6053]

Well, Doug does have a cameo at the very beginning.

[@mentaya11]

Hence "barely" not "has nothing"@@coolnerdlll6053

[@robbiewalker2831]

@@coolnerdlll6053 like he said, *barely* had anything to do with the NC Walkers.

[@tastiGMmaster2099]

"The most pretentious pile of crap I've ever seen in my life!"...and then Tony watched Escape from Tomorrow. That poor unfortunate soul.

[@animeotaku307]

But by Jerk’s own words, Escape from Tomorrow wasn’t pretentious because it would need ambition to do that.

[@TonyGoldmark]

Incidentally, the parody songs in this review can be downloaded right here: tony-goldmark.bandcamp.com/album/brows-held-high-beauty-and-the-beast

[@graverobbingcleric2745]

Thanks Tony!

[@HlootooThunderhammer]

YES! I was just wondering if it was possible to download the “soundtrack”.

[@robbiewalker2831]

Oh and Tony, Belle asked for a Rose because of the natural beauty; One of her sisters wanted a monkey, because she wants to prove she wants to get anything she wants, disregarding how simple gifts are far better.

[@MysteryHipster]

"I am as the boy who met the world." Senior Yearbook Quote

[@disneyreviewsbymatt7663]

You are basically comparing Disney's beauty and the beast with Jean Cocteau's classic black and white beauty and the beast movie with Disney parody musical numbers....LOVE IT!!!!!

[@robabiera733]

A musical analysis of Jean Cocteau? Ah, the Internet! Kyle, you are a singular human being.

[@michaeliv284]

The reason the Best was so comfortable with his status is because he was 10 when he became the Beast, Kyle. He grew up as a monster

[@ToruKun1]

+Michael Iv Then why does the fable in the beginning of the movie show a (presumably) young adult prince being transformed into the Beast?

[@michaeliv284]

ToruKun1 "History is written by the winners"

[@ToruKun1]

Michael Iv That doesn't explain the shredded portrait of a young adult prince that Belle finds in the west wing

[@michaeliv284]

ToruKun1 Then how do you explain "10 years we've been rusting", something easier to pick up

[@ToruKun1]

Michael Iv My theory is they've been transformed for ten years without aging

[@KariIzumi1]

I know for Reasons™, hardly anyone looks back at these crossovers with any level of fondness, but this was by far the one that's aged the best and had apparent effort put into it beyond "Lol two reviewers hate each other." I didn't watch your channel or SJWaC's but I was given this by the algorithm some time ago and I'm glad it did. 💕💖

[@AnvilPro100]

So is this the most cameos in any review ever?

[@BostonMBrand]

The almost ambitious crossover yet.

[@Alejandroigarabide]

@@BostonMBrand And the funniest

[@landosalemchainsaw]

@@BostonMBrand I just wish most of them had made the jump from blip to KZbin without loosing their archives.

[@pinkwings8036]

The little moment about cinema as the underworld for Orpheus always gets to me. Such a profound monologue.

[@DStecks]

This is pretty easily the best thing that was ever posted to Channel Awesome.

[@memequern8087]

Man at the time I loved it because it was the ultimate crossover that rewarded me for being so invested in the reviewersphere as a whole. But now I'm just so happy that this managed to survive as a time capsule to the blip era and reminding me to remember all of the amazing passionate creators who ended up getting screwed over. This must have been a bitch to put together so thanks so much to everyone that made it happen 🙏

[@grendelentertainment9642]

Whenever I feel sad, I watch this trilogy of videos and feel instantly happy.

[@lunamalfoy7]

I love the people in the background just staring at them while they film. I find that hilarious.

[@ShayLaLaLooHoo]

That opening scene was so fun to watch! It's so funny to see Phelous in a B&TB review that isn't about terrible content.

[@thenetisslow]

Oooooh. Kyle singing. Tingly feelings all over.

[@lnfreeman]

And lo, Kyle pronounced "et" without any French accent whatsoever, thus undoing all the work of his beautiful song about being pretentious.

[@thesadkingbilly]

This review trilogy is my comfort food

[@TheMadwomen]

I just noticed that Jerk called the beast kitty in front of the Monsters Inc. attraction. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

[@YourObedientSandwichAHam]

Look, Bernie...

[@RiderNexus]

Your Obedient Sandwich, A. Ham Don't Bernie Me!

[@magnusprime962]

RiderNexus These little rats are GUILTY!

[@whitherwhence]

donutmaster437 How 'bout you climb up in your profile pic, go to when they were filming, and ask?

[@badlydrawnavocado2569]

My god. MY GOD. I have watched these videos about 14 times and STILL had not noticed that little detail. This is among the best things on KZbin ever. EVER.

[@JackieTheCatfox]

You, sir, have elevated the Channel Awesome cameo to an art form with this video.

[@xar3949]

I think the "You can't say "Orphic" here" joke made be laugh harder than I should've.

[@animationfanatic2133]

whenever I feel down I come back to these episodes and feel a little better

[@fusionspace175]

Does anyone else revisit this episode more than the others because of the excellent songs? I'm on a musicals kick right now, thus here I am.

[@helenl3193]

Oh yes! 😁

[@violatralala]

guilty as charged

[@heeeyyy2947]

I don't know Kyle, the last time a movie asked me to "think like a child" before watching it was in Benigni's "Pinocchio"...

[@mentaya11]

This is criminally underrated. I was pointed to it by a comment on a Nostalgia Critic video and this is pure gold. That it has less than 150k views after 8 years is hard to believe.

[@juliagoodwin3461]

I love this three-part review, it reminds me of the good old days...

[@NaiaPhykit1]

I grew up watching this film, this is my version of the beauty and the beast. I love the way Cocteau knows when to let the image do the talking and transport us in a fantastical land and yet when he use words it's beautiful. I love the fact that both the beast and Avenant (the film's Gaston) are both played by Jean Marais. I love so many thing I could speak of it for hours. Just one thing, in the film Adelaïde and Félicie are her sisters, not step sisters.

[@gabrielkauffman4265]

There's something bittersweet about these episodes. I can't help but still love the parasocial thrill of seeing content creators crossover and do ensemble projects. The crossover is mostly dead unfortunately.

[@HCC788]

This was charming. When I think about all the work that must have gone into that opening sequence... did this take like 6 months to set up? There are so many moving pieces there. So well done.

[@whitherwhence]

He was in a podcast his girlfriend has about bad romance flicks, in an episode about Beastly, I think he said he'd spent 1.5 or 2 years planning the whole thing.

[@Annafyz]

Kyle, since when you found out that you sing like an angel?

[@princesskyrie]

This is brilliant. One of my favorite stories (Beauty and the Beast) filmed in my favorite place (Disneyland) and matched with some incredibly insightful and hilarious commentary and delightful songs. I never thought of seeing a movie in a theater as anything more than being entertained... but when I consider the films that have moved and changed me, the Orpheus analogy is incredibly appropriate. And now to part deux!

[@katedoes...9783]

Possibly your best episode. Hope you sing more in the future. Even since you first uploaded this, I recognize even more of the cameos. :) Love these reviews especially the Cocteau song.

[@andrewweinstein7740]

Ariel swallowed Tinkerbell!

[@LunDruid]

"No one plays like Cocteau, Spins a phrase like Cocteau, Fills your gaze with amazing ballets like Cocteau." "And for that he gets critics ejaculating..." "DON'T JUDGE MY KINKS! or Cocteau!" Still one of my favorite parody lyrics of all time. XD

[@christinadevany9124]

Some times when I can't sleep and feel bad I return to this video. It comforts me and make me happy.

[@deahdirectah]

senior year in college was a really lonely year for me, and one of my nicest memories form then is getting to sit down in my dorm room and watch this for the first time, and now it makes me just as happy every time i watch it

[@PepperJAQ]

Man, watching this is like a time capsule. So many cameos, so many creators that have come and gone. Especially the beginning really spoke to how super negative reviews were back in the day. That opening tune, while done for comedic purposes, it wasn't that far from reality as far as how often 'it sucks' was heard. I like to think that, while there are those that still salivate at the harsh and sarcastic videos, individual show's audiences have grown to have a wider palate for content these days. It seems so with you as well as Linkara at the least. maybe I"m wrong, but still, that's how it feels.

[@tonyjoestar2632]

Love coming back to this. It's bittersweet knowing what was happening behind the scenes at THAT website, but I loved watching Kyle and so many other creators. Still do.

[@animationfanatic2133]

"women be shoppin" 😆 I'm weak

[@Pineappolis]

I'm a massive fan of Kyle who'd never come across Some Jerk with a Camera before this crossover but, wow, he's a scene-stealing comedic talent.

[@HBarnill]

If I apply child logic to everything, Arrow would be a much better show.

[@badlydrawnavocado2569]

I someones watch this when I can't sleep. It reminds me of a simpler time in my life. Soothes me.

[@roarkthehalf-orc6598]

Not going to lie. All the cameos made me squee. A lot.

[@antitroll890]

I know what you mean, it partly made me wish that Kyle was still with Channel Awesome lol.

[@SuperChochip]

Because Nostalgia Critic apparently invented movie reviews...

[@IfIHadMyTimeAgain]

Me to

[@Medusa7700Siren]

Love the cameos too! My nostalgia hitting 😁

[@Furore2323]

Every time I come back to this, there's some new detail to impress.

[@ZipplyZane]

I think having someone to interact with like this makes your reviews a lot better, honestly. Having someone act as a proxy to the clueless viewer and ask the questions helps.

[@rachelgoodman379]

I discovered these videos tonight and literally cannot get enough. These are so well done. I'm a high school English teacher and only wish my students' attention spans were long enough to enjoy you.

[@nannaleifa]

Okay, pack it up guys, this is the *best* musical reviews to date. It is delightful each time I visited.

[@akinmytua4680]

Cell Spex sent me here. How did I miss this?

[@IfIHadMyTimeAgain]

Autymn Maas same

[@Medusa7700Siren]

I know I missed this too!😁

[@williammartel7843]

Much better B&B remake than the Emma Watson film is shaping up to be...

[@Tacom4ster]

I could watch a sitcom of you and Tony

[@avremirine8986]

I love both versions.

[@andrewweinstein7740]

I'm pretty sure Kyle needs to show up on One Movie Later with Tony once the new Beauty and the Beast comes out

[@magnusprime962]

Andrew Weinstein Months late, but he did indeed show up.

[@nanamikamiya6500]

Well, you did it: after I don’t know how many rewatches of this trilogy, I finally caved and watched Le Belle et Le Bete. And I liked it! Thank you for teaching me culture! 🎉🎉🎉

[@Wintermute01001]

I hope some historian will confirm that Greta Garbo is the first documented furry.

[@femoman]

Pretty sure the first documented Furry is King Minos' wife (You know, the woman who made a giant cow costume so she could get fucked by a bull, and gave birth to the Minotaur)

[@JackieTheCatfox]

Ah, the old "furries are zoophiles" cliché... The mythological reference made me laugh though

[@Wintermute01001]

Only animal-fuckers care about the nuances between different types of animal-fuckers.

[@Wintermute01001]

Would you like to watch?

[@JackieTheCatfox]

That was a great burn. Well played, sir

[@BurtonPoe]

I seriously watch this all the time. The whole review it makes me so happy when I’m in a sad mood.

[@disneydork100]

If it's not on it already this soundtrack should be on iTunes!

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

It's not on iTunes, but you can get the full album on bandcamp: tony-goldmark.bandcamp.com/album/brows-held-high-beauty-and-the-beast

[@tatehildyard5332]

I just got into your stuff recently and you are a very funny dude. I even watched F for Fake and Mister Lonely based on your praise. Be proud of what you do man.

[@montypythonfanatic1]

Kyle you are one of my most favorite of critics.

[@bandotaku]

HOW have I not seen this before?! This is awesome!

[@BlackJackel12]

This is one of your finest reviews.

[@jameshilton7894]

Watching the opening song is cool but also depressing cause how some of these critics don't review anymore.

[@Rikku147]

I never get bored of this review. Or of the opening number. It's just so perfect 💙

[@kevinlechuga_]

This is sooo good and you guys deserve so much praise for this! Everything from the music to the production to the wild ass blockbuster first number that features almost everybody is amazingly well done.

[@AquaLantern]

Ah, Orpheus. The myth that shows Greek myth buffs who think Hades isn't such a bad guy that they can suck it. "Oh sure Orpheus, you can take your dead bride as long as you get out of the underworld without looking bac- OH, sorry I forgot to tell you, I meant both you AND your wife have to be out of the underworld at the same time before looking back. Sry she's mine, kthnxbye, trololo!"

[@tandnmom100]

Well, it WAS a lesson to Orpheus (and the audience) to have patience and respect for other's desires.

[@Tuckerscreator]

+LordManda2 Hades was no saint, but I think the argument is that he wasn't worse than any of the other gods. Not a high bar to overcome.

[@AquaLantern]

Tuckerscreator He was Lawful Neutral with evil leanings who was as capable of being as much a greedy bastard as the Zeus, I know. But so many times wanna-be myth buffs like to say "Oh modern media villainizes him SO much, he would NEVER take advantage of his position to do evil things like kidnap Persephone, rape her, and force her to be his wife, HE'S JUST MISUNDERSTOOD!" :P

[@megamage911]

While I will always stick to Hades being the least awful amonghis brothers, I will also agree, he was just as capable of being a dick as them xD

[@SnakeRoadComicsOfficial3677]

God the cameos make me feel well nostalgic.

[@jenniferschillig3768]

You might be interested in the Faerie Tale Theatre version of this. Faerie Tale Theatre was a cable series in the early-to-mid-eighties produced by Shelley Duvall. Each episode was a fairy tale of about an hour, and featured different big-name actors, big-name directors and writers, and a different visual aesthetic. Their version of Beauty and the Beast starred Susan Sarandon...and was a virtual color remake of the Cocteau version, with many similar story beats (Beauty sees the Beast after he's killed a deer, his paws smoking with the deer's blood, and the Beast gripped with shame).

[@crcoghill]

i swore i subscribed before when i saw this video some years back and your cameos in Tony's videos. well.... better late than never.

[@edgy1004]

YAY! Thanks so much Kyle, you are one of my favorite creators. I am sorry you were forced over to youtube but I am glad I still have access to your wonderful stuff!

[@carolineimmelman8944]

Step-sisters? In every version I have read they were the beauty's sisters (as in blood related)

[@AquaLantern]

+Caroline Immelman close enough

[@sorcerersapprentice]

Actually, not quite. In the Villeneuve version, which is the version Beaumont abridged, Belle was the daughter of a fairy and a human king. After her mother was imprisoned for having a relationship with a human, she was swapped out with the merchant's dead infant daughter, making her sisters in that version adopted, I guess. A lot of the bizarre backstory was scrapped in the later versions. (Check it out. It's pretty weird.)

[@eugeneruby433]

Sorry Walker Brothers, this is still the greatest work of inspired fan production ever made. How many reviewers did they get to cameo for this MUSICAL review? I can't imagine how much prep time this took, and they executed it beautifully!

[@EthalaRide]

13:25 That comment is SO MUCH MORE relevant and hilarious now!

[@samdragonborn5864]

I love all the little kids staring

[@LiyuConberma]

How come this is not the most viewed review yet? BEST crossover review yet! BEST cameos in a review yet! Also, it's like watching a professional food critic VS Yelp reviewer lol

[@iamsaztak]

i absolutely adore this, you've succeeded in getting someone to watch the old movie.

[@Swishy_Blue]

8/27/22 from where I'm at, this is still one of my favorites. I love seeing the cool people who are still publishing and are still cool.

[@robgeorge4581]

These cameos are amazing and Kyle's voice is nothing short of amazing.

[@c.w.r.794]

Anyone else remember when Paw used to make videos? I do. Now he’s a full on dad. *sigh* I’m still waiting for his Cats review. But I know it shall never be. 😢

[@GriffinPilgrim]

Dear gods, I think we just hit the cameo singularity.

[@bullseyecello]

I love the laser point moment

[@IfIHadMyTimeAgain]

I just noticed the Pushing up Roses and Miss Nightmare cameos. I’m so happy!

[@hannamills1985]

I never knew about this film it's interesting so far

[@willlyon7129]

12:00 Thank you Thing

[@Estarfigam]

To Tony's defense the film did say think like a child, and a child would think of kittens.

[@louiswolf8688]

I have sat through this trilogy over half a dozen times already since discovering BHH like 2-3 months ago. and the only issue i found with these is this videos first 30 seconds. no steady cam filter? I know thats the FCP term for it, not the Premier which kyle uses, but come on! this video is a 9.9 out of 10 if not for that. I honestly can not think of a video on youtube i have come back to over and over and enjoyed more and more

[@ashtree80]

Oh wow!

[@ClaudiaRichmann]

God I love this video. It's freakin' brilliant.

[@bryanadkins6776]

I didn't really care for this review the first time around but a couple more watches and it's become one of my favorite brows held high episodes.

[@nemowindsor8724]

This has to be one of the best things either of you made :)

[@reddeathmonster]

I have watched this series of videos a ton of times. Super funny, educative and entertaining.

[@cavalierscalogno8027]

The 2014 movie of The Beauty and the Beast was... not the best. But visually it was amazing, and the beast was awesome! Like Cocteau's beast, Gans' one is yes beastly, but also fierce and noble. Vincent Cassel was a wonderful choice of casting.

[@penholmes688]

This was awesome! Also, thanks for holding those brows high. lol

[@DrifttheHunter]

So was this filmed at a convention of all (former now) Channel Awesome contributors?

[@hunnykun101]

YAY!!!! Been waiting for this!!!