Being Autistic Is Hard in a Neurotypical World | Understanding Autism

🔍 Exploring Autism | 5 Ways the World Works Against Autistics 🧠
What are some challenges of everyday life on the autism spectrum in a neurotypical world? How can we improve this in 2024? Many parts of daily life seem to work uniquely against autistic people, and today I'm going to break down just a few of those that you might not think about regularly. I also offer some quick and easy ideas for how everyone could help make the world a bit more autism-friendly.
Whether you're a parent, educator, colleague, friend, family member, or anyone who encounters autistic people (which statistically would be basically everyone), or if you're someone autistic who would like to hear how others experience the challenges of the world, this video is for you!
🚫 🎶 Prefer no background noise? Watch the NO MUSIC Edition (same awesome content, without the music): • 5 Ways the World Works...
📍 Timestamps:
0:00 - Intro
0:19 - Processing Time
1:13 - Misconceptions Related to Eye Contact
2:38 - Morning Schedules for Night Owls
3:44 - Inflexible Work Environments
5:26 - Mental Health and Work From Home Days
6:07 - Social Challenges of Autism
7:49 - Complexities of Social Norms
➡️ Remember to LIKE, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE for more content!
✨ Need some great autism tips to help your holidays go smoothly? Get our FREE resource here: chrisanddebby.mykajabi.com/ho...
🚨 OUR RECOMMENDATIONS:
👇 FAVORITE FIDGET GADGETS (especially for Autism & ADHD)
1. Nee Doh Cubes: amzn.to/3RkRsoA
2. Ono Roller: onoroller.com?sca_ref=4880234.xpzLrB3REJ (use our coupon code CHRISANDDEBBY for 10% off!)
📚 FAVORITE BOOKS
1. Why We Sleep (Matthew Walker): amzn.to/46GJOd7
2. Un-Typical (Pete Wharmby): amzn.to/40TEfG6
🎧 FAVORITE HEADPHONES
1. Soundcore Noise Canceling Headphones: amzn.to/3LMkWIn
2. Bose Noise Canceling Headphones: amzn.to/3tegj3t (refer.bose.com/contactchrisan... - get $25 off qualifying purchases)
👕 FAVORITE COMFY CLOTHES
1. Kingsted T-Shirts: amzn.to/3ZgfkMa
2. Wool Socks: amzn.to/3ZfVqAO6
3. Ugg Slippers: amzn.to/3sRkQsH
💤 FAVORITE SLEEP ITEMS
1. Manta Sleep Masks: bit.ly/4acwSy3
🎥 FILM SETUP: ✈️ Starter/Travel Kit
1. Sony Alpha 6400: amzn.to/3QUmEth
2. Sigma 16mm f/1.4 DC DN Contemporary Lens for Sony E: amzn.to/3MUYYnl
3. RODE Ultra-Compact On-Camera Shotgun Microphone: amzn.to/46u6BYO
4. Neewer 2 Pack Dimmable Bi-Color LED Video Light + Stand: amzn.to/40XSNob
5. Joilcan 75” Tripod: amzn.to/46v1J5B
PS: Purchasing through these links may give us an affiliate kickback (at no additional cost to you) and help us continue to make awesome content. Thanks for your support!
⭐️ ABOUT US:
I'm Chris and alongside Debby, my brilliant partner, we've traveled, founded companies, and navigated the world as a neurodiverse duo.
Whether it's better business tips, relationship hacks, travel tales, or just a peek into our everyday life, we've got a lot to share. So if you want to join a community that's all about improving lives, you're in the right place. Give a thumbs up if you enjoy the video, drop your thoughts in the comments, and hey, maybe consider subscribing? Cheers to a better life!
📍STAY CONNECTED:
Instagram: / chris_and_debby
Email: [e-mail]
Website: www.chrisanddebby.com
#autismawareness #autism #livingwithautism #neurodiversity #audhd #lifewithautism #mentalhealthjourney #autismsupport #asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autisticlife #autismadvocate #understandingautism #autismadvocacy

[@withheldformyprotection5518]

I changed to a 4-day, 32 hour workweek in 2021. I still feel like I give the company 5-days, since I need all of Friday just to recharge to somewhere near baseline.

[@ChrisandDebby]

I hear you. Getting to work and getting home from work are often tough. I'm not sure where you work or what you do, but interruptions and background noises can be super draining. If you have to socialize a lot and deal with small talk... yikes! What do you do on Fridays to recharge? I just bought some 3D puzzles and I'm pretty excited to see if they're as cool as I think they'll be.

[@deathtouchltd]

I work in a corporate job, and I absolutely hate it. I hate having to get up at 6:30 every morning, I hate how they have treated me because of my IBS and my Autism, I hate having to drive to work every day when I could do my entire job from the house. And have proven on multiple occasions that I can work from home and be vastly more productive.

[@ChrisandDebby]

It sucks! Not enough people are aware of what it’s like to be autistic and the challenges we face in our work environments. If companies and staff made small adjustments, our lives would be so much better! I think a big part of it is most people don’t understand or they think we don’t really have a disability. We need to start shifting to self-employment or starting our own companies. Have you considered switching jobs or even becoming self-employed? It makes such a huge difference.

[@sbsman4998]

Genetic ~ Autistic occupations in ancient cultures: warriors w ability to isolate stay up late at night high pain tolerance steadfast loyalty w few social pressures or craftsman/tradesman able to work long hours alone undeterred by yacking/gossiping dullards while doing repetitive tasks perfectly, all combined w arranged marriages for genetic continuity like Islam ~ anachronistic Autists we be ~

[@marianadave5392]

My life changed since I chose the night shifts at work... from 8pm to 8am, 3 times a week... awesome... and the bonus is that, at night shifts, I am on my own most of the time ❤

[@patriciatavares1007]

The eyebrows bushy gets me all the time

[@user-gh1xb4wy6j]

You are the best ! Amazing editing and attitude! Thanks so much for all you and your wife's hard work! You guys will make it big, keep it up !

[@ChrisandDebby]

Thanks for the awesome comment! This one really made our day!!!

[@anjachan]

I work 6 hours a day now, not 8 like I did before. It feels nicer but Im still tired 😅

[@ChrisandDebby]

Oh yeah! I’m exhausted arriving to my job because of the commute and technically I haven’t even started at that point!

[@anjachan]

@@ChrisandDebby Im glad I have to be at work at 10 am. And I only have to walk for 10 Minutes to work. And it´s a safe work place for people with disabilities, many different kinds. Some "just" have depression. We aren´t under a lot of pressure.

[@GN315-pe6ul]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.

[@ChrisandDebby]

You are very welcome! Glad you enjoyed it!

[@maidofcornwall]

That man at 1 minute 17 seconds looks exactly how I feel when I'm making eye contact! Like an animal in headlights that's about to be run over (which is actually a good metaphor for being autistic in general!). The work week for me was pure hell. I would start at 7.30am because no one else was there at that time and I could get on better, not to mention that I could then leave earlier and escape the noise and phones (I despise phones). When my eldest started school, I couldn't start until 9.30am because I had to drop her off first. Those two extra hours on the end of my 'normal' day were absolute torture. When I dropped a day so that I could spend more time with my youngest, I did extra hours on the other days to make up for it. I won't go on, but it didn't end well 😉 Thankfully, I don't work in a paid job now, and I'm not sure if I could. Sadly, I feel that the only people that watch your videos are very likely to be on the spectrum already (or think that they are). The people, in my experience, that need to see them are the ones that aren't on the spectrum and don't seem to care about those that are. It's ironic that we're told that we have no empathy! Whenever I come across a video that I think will help my husband to understand me or how I'm feeling, I'll show it to him. I get an eye roll and a sigh in response. Then it gets stopped after minute or two with a declaration of boredom. When I write on Facebook about autism, I don't get a single comment or acknowledgement that anyone has read it (apart from by my autistic friend). Any other post I make can have lots of comments or 'likes'. My conclusion: they're bored of hearing about it and they don't care (I was diagnosed a year ago and I don't keep going on about it). But these are the people I'm told to turn to for help.These are the people that I'm starting to think don't care about me (or any other person on the spectrum).These are the people that often say "What's her problem?" It's never them though. I apologise for my rant. I was tempted to erase it, but decided to leave it here in case anyone else needs to see that they're not alone too.

[@ChrisandDebby]

I know exactly how you feel. I appreciate you sharing and I agree with what you’re saying. It can be so discouraging and isolating when the people who need to learn about neurodivergence don’t seem to care. I’m too frustrated and angry to stop trying. I use my anger and frustration as fuel to keep going. My wife and also my very close friend have both learned and made adjustments for me and other autistics after my late diagnosis at the age of 41. That’s also strong motivation for me. People do care and they will change. It might not be fast enough, but we keep trying. And we do whatever we can to support and help each other. I’ve got lots more videos coming and my team is working on resources and classes. Yes, I’m angry and frustrated at how we are treated, but I’m also excited and very hopeful for the future. I know how awesome autistics are. Soon, the rest of the world will.

[@ChrisandDebby]

If you ever feel you have no one else to turn to or are in a bad spot, please reach out to me via email: [e-mail] Also, if you have children, it might be highly likely that at least one may be diagnosed with autism, as science shows it is genetic. Your husband may need to learn about asd whether he thinks it’s boring or not. It’s hard to force people to learn when they aren’t ready. I say this as a former educator and school administrator. It sounds like your husband doesn’t understand the challenges you’ve faced to try to seem neurotypical for all these years. Sometimes people need time. This is why we are trying to create a community. Lastly, I and many others know how brave we and other autistics are. I hope you know how brave you are.

[@maidofcornwall]

@@ChrisandDebby Thank you. I love your cheerful videos so I’m really glad that there are more to come xx

[@t3hsis324]

You're so good at this I may have to use you if I ever have a neurotypical actually seem genuinely curious about autism, ill have to recommend your channel. The past few years it has yet to happen, but theres a first for everything. Also, I telecommuted to work for a decade prior to the pandemic. Even with working from daily, there are challenges and definitely need more mental health days than most. Sadly, they still processed me like everyone else and I was in an endless loop of write-ups for attendence. It didnt matter that I was completely transparent with my health issues. It honestly makes me very wary to even consider employment, as all experiences I've had were very much inflexible and didnt care. If I didnt adhere, they'd just find someone else that would. 😢

[@ChrisandDebby]

The way society and companies treat us is extremely frustrating. It angers me. I’m living in Taipei and it is really challenging here. No one here cares. One thing that has helped me is starting my own companies. This way, I set the work policies. I employ 3 autistics and make sure they are supported and get the accommodations they need. In return, they are extremely productive, loyal, happy, and they never ever gossip. If treated fairly, autistics are a powerful addition to most work forces. It’s sad and ridiculous most companies don’t see this. I’m going to be making more videos to encourage and help my fellow autistics become entrepreneurs. It is empowering and necessary to take control of your life.

[@t3hsis324]

@@ChrisandDebby it's nice knowing that it's possible and there are places willing to work with you. It's finding those places... Especially when part of your issue is you can't drive and public transportation is /very/ limited. My hope is one day I may be able to support myself on my own financially.

[@user-rm7oe4ob9w]

Thanks for talking about the work environment!! Love your videos very much

[@ChrisandDebby]

You are so welcome!

[@nataliesirota2611]

Thank you SO VERY MUCH for addressing inflexible work environments!

[@ChrisandDebby]

You are very welcome!!

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

That sushi example was spot on

[@darbydelane4588]

Brilliant! Thank you!

[@ChrisandDebby]

You're very welcome!

[@turtleanton6539]

Yeh

[@jairai5922]

I can not handle eye contact at all. Especially if the person is in close proximity to me. Im not rude. It literally hurts me. I feel like I'm dying or on fire.

[@AutisticEntrepreneur]

Another good ones. Thanks

[@ChrisandDebby]

I see you! =) How are you doing? Are you and your family getting excited for Christmas? My father in law flew all the way to Taipei to visit us for Christmas. Pretty excited to see him. I got him a great present from Ireland while I was there visiting the past month (recovering from burnout). I got him a beautiful Irish wool sweater. It's soooo soft. I might have gotten myself one too. Hope you have a wonderful holiday!!

[@higherground337]

Thanks for reminding me what I'm up against. 😅 Actually, though, I can manage a morning route okay. But it means I'm pretty useless after 8 p.m.

[@ChrisandDebby]

I’m the same. I get worn out and by late evening, I’m done.

[@sarafrolander2266]

I try SO hard to be patient with my autistic husband, but I have ADHD so asking me to be patient is also a little bit unfair 😅

[@jeffreyhurley3243]

Yeah, it's a bit fun having an ADHD wife. After many years, I think we've finally figured out how to use each other's strengths (and being "patient" with the weaknesses) 🍻😂

[@ChrisandDebby]

I can see that! It's also the balance of your autistic husband knowing that you're trying - will undoubtedly lead to some laughs (and some frustrations) in the process. Have you both been diagnosed for long?

[@ChrisandDebby]

Sounds like a great balance! It will definitely require patience on both sides, but the efforts are worth acknowledging, even if it doesn't always go perfectly 😆

[@wdc_nathan]

Just subbed, but can I appeal to you to please not use “neurodiverse” when you really mean “neurodivergent”? They are not synonyms. Neurodiversity encompasses all neurotypes, including neurotypical, and always refers to a group of people with multiple neurotypes; an individual cannot be neurodiverse. Neurodivergent individuals *diverge* from typical.

[@ChrisandDebby]

You are absolutely right. Thank you very much for pointing this out! The word I meant to and should have used is neurodivergent. Very glad you watched our video and really appreciate your feedback!!

[@wdc_nathan]

@@ChrisandDebby I enjoyed the content otherwise. Thanks for responding 💖