Bert Kreischer Untold Tales, The Machine | EP 116 | Hawk vs Wolf

[@nathanmeyer5364]

Low key loved how Jason checked Bert when he was overstepping, the weed and the ollie. Hahaha

[@thebigdicker5273]

Not a very good check Considering weed in “the 40s and 50s percent” doesn’t exist lol

[@INoahGuy914]

Time stamp? Lol

[@Js-hu5cm]

I live for it. Thank god someone has the balls

[@AllBrixedUp]

Jason the only dude in the game who does that kinda shit I respect it a lot

[@Js-hu5cm]

It’s the absolute best. I love that he keeps him in his place.

[@nasko235679]

Only Bert Kreischer can walk in a room with Hawk and Ellis and start explaining to them what Ollie-ing is like.

[@b_i_r_d8840]

With a straight face

[@brettwilliams124]

He’s so unfunny it hurts. He’s like someone’s alcoholic dad that won’t leave your house

[@astreet339]

Hahhahahaha this comment just made me spray scalding, hot coffee out of my nose

[@bradychavez-smith2378]

​@@brettwilliams124he literally is... what do you mean "like"

[@TheMadMedek]

It’s half half serious half leaning into the joke once his brain naturally walks down that path

[@tomselleck5560]

Crazy how that 26 year old at the high school party bragging to sophomore girls he bought the beer is all grown up and famous now.

[@S0MA9000SERIES]

The dood is a kook.

[@D-Fens_1632]

That's an insult to Wooderson.

[@sandhanitizer15]

I honestly don't understand how. He's not a smart person.

[@icychill105]

My heart goes out to Ellis mate, hope hes getting over the divorce well

[@PlzReturnYourShoppingCart]

Same

[@xwhite2020]

yes, that shits brutal and even more so with kids.

[@NOxSPLOOSHxPLANE]

Don't worry there's plenty of D in the Sea 😅 he'll get over it

[@jedijohnny]

i didnt realize that

[@Just_SK8]

He had an open relationship. He was banging homos for years. He shouldn't be near kids

[@SecretSpots]

When Tony took off his shoe and Jason said "If you can't ollie in Tony Hawk's shoes you suck SO bad" I almost spit hot coffee through my nose! BWAAHAHAHAHA 🤣

[@robotjeans]

Great to see Hawk & Wolf on the Bertcast this week.

[@thatJoshieJosh]

Friggin' a, this made my day. Bert's Something's Burning with these guys is real good, too. I could listen to these three dude tell stories all day.

[@nickhunsaker3810]

Show just started off so ridiculous and tony looks so uncomfortable great stuff

[@rusevsauve5111]

JASON TEARING DOWN BERT IS MY FAVORITE THING LMFAO

[@brettbatliner]

Love seeing Tony "uncomfortable". I can't imagine the stories he doesn't tell and seeing him listen to Burnt is just fascinating. Then there's Ellis who's just egging Beer's wild stories the whole time 🤣

[@DuftCloudly]

i want the extra episode months from now of bert learning to ollie on tony's ramp

[@tunelowplayslow5623]

High probability it ends like Tim's lay-up.

[@JoelligerentTV]

@@tunelowplayslow5623or Tom’s

[@versecontro4898]

There’s NO way Bert’s gonna learn to Ollie on his ramp not to mention that’s a million dollar ramp and Tony probably doesn’t want Bert to put a hole in his ramp lol

[@DuftCloudly]

@@versecontro4898 Bert isn’t gonna put a hole in that ramp anytime soon. Have you seen the clip of XL skater homie who basically shoulder checks the flat from the top rope trying to drop in? That ramp won that fight

[@NimrodBoz]

The ollie convo that kicks off at 33:37 is absolute gold

[@RadioactiveHipsters]

😂😂😂 what about absolute idiot. A welcome board with skate trainers. Jason really shoulda beat him up in the parking lot for that

[@heavenwasfool]

Your chemistry together is amazing with Berty boy around! Loved this epi

[@AllBrixedUp]

Bro I’m 3 minutes in and tony is saying “what is happening here” as Jason and Bart are talking about what skaters are generous lovers lmao this is gonna be a good one

[@Luke_skyhuker]

Bert's ollie analogies have me in tears lol 😂

[@nicklose3631]

Ellismate actually seems to curb Bret Chrysler's incessant interruptions. This is the first Bart podcasts I've truly enjoyed in quite some time for that reason and I would love to see them do this more often.

[@Carlsbad1]

So you've never liked bert on a podcast so you... listen to him on a podcast? They have other guests lmao.

[@happyskating2000]

Interesting g. Makes me kind of want to watch it . Otherwise I find Bert to be unbearable

[@nathanmilnthorpe11]

I was thinking the Exact same thing! Good observation Brother! 🙂

[@MartyTheZebraa]

Lol jason schooling Bert on weed is HILARIOUS. Smell the weed tony! 😂

[@DavisD814]

I love that Brent tried to explain to Jason Ellis and TONY HAWK what an Ollie is. 😂 This is Bruce in a nutshell. 😂

[@MaxxD]

No one likes Bert Kreischer more than Bert Kreischer likes Bert Kreischer!

[@jonsavage212]

He does a good job of acting like he likes himself. That’s why dude can’t be sober for more than 15 minutes.

[@ezedjay]

The funny episodes are always the best - Tony and Jason laughing with each other is gold.

[@ChrisC-vk4jf]

Bert is into himself for sure. Anything that has to do with him, in his opinion, is cool, good, worthy.

[@mr.smithgnrsmith7808]

So a narcissistic pretentious C*nt….and NONE of it is warranted

[@dani4ever]

I understand the hate towards him because of that, it grinds my gears sometimes. But it's still so funny . He's a likeable obnoxious dude.

[@-Ricky_Spanish-]

​@@dani4ever​I can get people being annoyed by him, but I think he's funny with the right company, and with Tony and Jason can riff really good. He's also not mean or aggressive enough to merit actual hate, at his worst he's no worse than Jack Black. I love when the guys call him out of his BS though, the way he gets super defensive and Ellis just laughs will never not be amusing to me.

[@ChrisC-vk4jf]

For sure. I just get annoyed with self absorbed people, but dude can be funny AF.

[@dani4ever]

@@-Ricky_Spanish- Exactly, but I'm sure you've seen around too. There's a bunch of hate towards him, when the movie was about to come out it was in full force. To be fair, in part I think it was triggered by the way Bert was promoting his own movie like it was going to save cinema ahah He's delirious, but the fun kind.

[@jackhammered]

You know it's brutal when birdman's staff is laughing in the background... FML this was hilarious

[@Sammyspack]

I want out… I’m pulling the parachute. I want out!! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@moxbroker]

Jason’s reaction to Ligma is the same reaction I have when I get got like that.

[@joeberrouard3743]

This could be the greatest episode in hawk wolf history

[@DuftCloudly]

@30:23 "yeah this is dirt weed" i'm fucking dead imagining that Bert has weed that legit smells like dirt and thinks its the best thing in the world and Jason is just like "nah, brah"

[@jonsavage212]

Dude that slayed me. Then called him a lightweight and said “you just got here” 😂

[@ITheDreamerMI]

too bad jason is lying, there literally are no strains that are in the 40/50% range of thc... it doesnt exsist.

[@aninverse]

For all the attempted humour, nothing was funnier than Tony and Jason being told what an Ollie is. #morekooksplz

[@zerostoryz]

Three of my absolute favorite people gotta love it

[@Kimadian1]

Bert is such a gem! His daughters friend being so appreciative about the Metallica merch is so sweet!

[@LONDONTEASKATE]

I really needed over an hour of laughs today s thank you!

[@taylorgill5961]

Literally one of the best podcasts in awhile, this one and killtony what a great week

[@TheMerlotLine]

Can't wait to see how off the rails this one gets!

[@dan.r9220]

Less than 3 min and this is wayyyyy off the rails.

[@kanokadafi]

"If you can't ollie in Tony Hawks's shoes, you suck so bad!!!" I almost fell out of my chair! LMAO!!!

[@Seakaye2s]

The fact that Tony is still beating himself up trying to land tricks is amazing. Way to go Gramps. Love y’all, great pod!

[@Jared-C]

Almost at 100k guys. Been listening since the beginning, and have loved every episode.

[@IWjake]

Tony does not look like he’s having fun 😂

[@mr.smithgnrsmith7808]

Because Tony is a genuinely good dude and zero “d bag” in him…clowns like Bert aren’t his people…go look at how Adam Sandler dealt with Bert….he destroyed him and it wasn’t a joke at all

[@jspaulding4106]

Tony's having fun. He knew what he was getting into.

[@BrianCR500AF]

1:36 so funny...I found out about Bert cause of you Jason....your show on SiriusXM was my fav..was so upset when they took you off. But I was listening to the show with Bert...had no idea who he was and you were calling him out about wakeboarding lol!

[@IceKoldKilla]

Only Bert can be so delusional to compliment someone who was dealing with addiction and say they partied hard. Wild. Its Bart, what can you expect. I find him entertaining nowadays but kinda sad when you realize the reality. I wish him well though. Him and Tom still make a great duo.

[@littlewigglemonster7691]

NEVER thought I'd see "Bert Kreischer" and " Untold stories" in the same sentence

[@simeonorive145]

im 50. 9 years ago I could heel flip Kick flip and ollie. I cant do these things now. After watching this I am ashamed to admit I need to learn again on carpet. Keep skating Thanks Bert.

[@louieo.blevinsmusic4197]

Did it just become too much at 41? I’m curious as I’m 35 and have been thinking about getting a board for the first time in a good 15 years. Just to learn some light stuff and hopefully get my 7 y/o nephew into it.

[@simeonorive145]

@@louieo.blevinsmusic4197 I guess so. I also put on a lot of weight. Lost that weight over 2 years and back at a weight I was in my 20s just don’t have the enthusiasm for skating like I used to that’s probably the biggest factor.

[@theglitch_713]

We need Bert on The Dr. Greenthumb Show! 💪😂 THE MACHINE

[@Dave3rdEyeArt]

I said you should have Bert on years ago! Worth the wait!!

[@joecad6157]

Just when I thought it was about over, the last five minutes had me dying laughing!

[@ptrcktrnr]

That was rad. Great episode. Kook of the year.

[@hi_tech_reptiles]

Yo you gotta get Bert ollie-ing. As a comedy fan and lifelong skater, it's gonna be great. I love your guys' reactions LMAO.

[@fpSmoker]

OMG I would LOVE to see a bloopers reel from the Machine.

[@taylorgill5961]

I love seeing Tony squirm when Bert starts being Brent lmfao

[@Noname30000]

This whole podcast I honestly couldn’t tell you who’s interviewing who 😂 bert always ends up flipping the roles

[@darkonation]

I wanna sk8 with Jason so bad…. Dude is way too much fun. 😂

[@mrwinston_thepug]

Tony seems like a really cool dude and the Best of All Time at skateboarding no doubt. He is in a league among Jordan, Tyson, Gretzky

[@filmercode]

"I'm sober rn" suuuuuure Bert.. suuuure.

[@jspaulding4106]

Great episode, boys. Thanks!

[@skateandlax33]

The group MIGOS 😂❤️

[@jondetremaudan5425]

Holy fuck. I haven't laughed this hard at a podcast in ages.

[@loonyprism7310]

Next week Bert’s going on Tyson’s Pod to tell him how to punch 😂😂😂

[@BearsBetterHaveMyHoney]

Burnt Chrysler explaining Ollies to Tony Hawk is the best example of who Bert is as a person.

[@deadbeat-vc9kg]

Mark Hamill played the Cock Knocker in a Jay and Silent Bob movie. He was also the voice of the band manager on Metalocalypse. He's had some odd roles. He's not as straight laced as people think.

[@PaulMeranda]

Brendon Small, the creator of Metalocalypse, voices the band manager ("Offdensen"); Hamill actually voices the guy that reports on the band's current exploits ("Stampington") to the group of villains on the show, as well as the leader of this group ("Salacia").

[@deadbeat-vc9kg]

@@PaulMeranda That's right. Been a while since I watched the show. I remembered Hamill was in it, but got the wrong character. Good catch.

[@PaulMeranda]

@@deadbeat-vc9kg ey thanks! they actually just released a film finale for the series that you might want to look into if you were a big fan at any point. all the best!

[@CHarrisonJimmy]

Bert making Tony blush a lot.

[@GullyB]

I love how when there's a guest who's like super wholesome with skateboarding passion etc, Tony seems to have a bit more of a lead in the conversation. But this episode is is Bert and Jason with Tony trying to dodge the fallout of getting cancelled.

[@Nothin2C_1]

Aye , any night time shift workers , first podcast of the night

[@kirkmbutterfield]

Or any shift

[@Bittamin]

@@kirkmbutterfieldeven the stick shift

[@jonsavage212]

This and the podcast with the guys from workaholics are my first two of the night.

[@OmnikouraBB]

Here for the Hawk, stayed for the Wolf.

[@christopherjongsma5681]

The best one yet!

[@rawxtir]

3 entertainers sit down in a room. Someone smart turns a few cameras on. Legendary. ... Hawk gets bonus points for this one lol

[@wesleybrown2698]

When bernt said T Buns was 280 when he broke his body, I spit my drink

[@PlzReturnYourShoppingCart]

The opening clip Bert is talking about himself and interrupting Jason. Are the editors memeing or is that the best clip they had? Haha

[@petecarvo9284]

He's always talking about himself and interrupting everyone.

[@petecarvo9284]

I laughed so hard when he was on Rogan's podcast, and Joe told him to shut up because Bert wouldn't let people talk.

[@msnbutterfly1]

Tony wants off the ride! LOL

[@ryanrowe1975]

Great episode!

[@jacoblinton8348]

coke...when he says they partied alot, it was the 70s it was lots of coke lol love this episode!

[@jdogsful]

i dont believe bort has stopped drinking or lost weight

[@leastselfawarepotassium]

Yeah I would like to believe Brent but it’s hard to.

[@OzMkGp]

"if you can't ollie in Tony hawk's shoes,...."🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ericsharp5079]

That was weird, strange, uncomfortable, had a few odd moments and even some that made me think WTF… saw Jason and Tony feel all the same things lol. Bert is Bert, everytime!

[@leastselfawarepotassium]

Tom was not 280 when he had his injury. He had already lost so much weight by then. Bert’s ability to get details wrong is amazing.

[@MmmmGoodBoy]

That was the coolest “neck-involved” movie scene I’ve seen since MacGruber was ripping throats.

[@tysonsharp8787]

Great episode!!! Lets Get John Cardiel on the show next!!!

[@juniperbordeaux5988]

Thanks y’all, I know that it wouldn’t make sense to have Leann on this podcast, but I would love to see Tony talk to her.

[@travisporter6678]

Jason, with the "It's only 32%", Absolutley pwned Brent Chrysler😂😂😂

[@Eric12682]

We’ll anything legit over 32 will be moon rocks or infused and those are gross. Bert is a terpene chaser! Unique or rare terpenes are pretty great. Some people like different terps.

[@brycegoddamnit]

100% would buy that shirt.

[@alazymonkey5716]

love this pod so much. what a great guest!!!! would love to see him on Jason's pod ;D looking forward to this one

[@xposition2001]

I'm telling u guys that I have been a hardcore smoker for more the 20 years and the last 6 I have been primarily dabbing. I recently had a CT scan and I was told my lungs look good. So, it can't be doing that much damage.

[@erickedmunds6374]

Another great one, I've been watching since episode 1.

[@DuftCloudly]

3 mins in and Tony is pulling the rip chord. best episode

[@Jonny-yj9bk]

With no winning or losing is the funniest tony has said😂 fuck yeah man

[@JosephACampbellJr]

This is amazing 😂

[@kpgmedia4468]

Whitethorn rose Grown and bred by John Casali of huckleberry hill farms in southern humboldt county. A second generation Ganja farmer. Using his mothers 45 year old genetics to create some of the most unique medicine on this planet

[@jujubean1185]

Welcome to the wonderful wide world of weed Bert! We gotta get you better acquainted with 🔥🔥🔥

[@gdoggydogg5555]

Being in the industry the past 10+year, him even knowing anything about whitethorn rose is nothing short of amazing He knows quality Whitethorn rose has won a bunch of 1st place awards and has 45 year old genetics from the hills of southern humboldt county

[@louieo.blevinsmusic4197]

@@gdoggydogg5555technically Joey Diaz knew about it as he gave it to Bert. I don’t think Bert puts much thought into it, he’d probably get just as excited about some seeds and stems. lol

[@scubawithatuba]

The "ass and the pussy" analogy has TRULY changed my life for the better, thank you! LMAO

[@masterninjahh]

i watched the machine midway through the podcast lol. it was good, way better than i thought it would be

[@rudy6292]

Stop lying

[@masterninjahh]

@@rudy6292 uhh im not... they started talking about spoilers so i rented the movie and watched it before i finished the podcast. the movie was way better than the trailers made it look. i had a good time, sure it's not amazing but it was fun to watch. mark hamill was great in it, honestly one of his best performances but he really doesnt do any good movies

[@fabianm8944]

I was laughing at the end Jason wasn’t kidding He needed to go potty lol

[@jujubean1185]

'....unlike your wakeboarding career!' 😂🤣💀

[@JayDizz92]

I normally can't stand bert because of his bullshit and him thinking he's this "Alpha", but I love that Tony and Ellis just have no time for his lies or bullshit and cut it out straight away. Real alphas do nothing alpha they're just chill and say it how it is.

[@Theweelwizza]

Fuck yeah just found this pod will be the next one on my weekly watch list ahaha

[@dan.r9220]

Oh my god! I was just watching the Bert cast from 8 years ago with Ellis.

[@MrSk8mobb]

Here for this even though I need to sleep cause it's 11pm ha

[@aegixxer1]

Burnt Chrysler was a great guest!

[@genisphyla]

Hi ! Just wanted to thank everyone involved with this POD. Not this Bert Kreischer episode but the POD itself. I can listen to these two guys speaking to each other endlessly. Their friendship and genuine, humble attitude shines through and is very appreciated, especially from Tony Hawk who has been Skate royalty since the 80's. Really takes a special person to be this humble after accomplishing more than anyone in Skate history. In times of trouble I ask myself what Tony Hawk would do. After doing a couple of kickflips I can usually find my through the darkness. Anywho, thanks for everything and I hope you keep this thing going till the wheels come off (Rodney episode reference).

[@midkingsteve]

Bert, you get panic attacks when you drink because you hit accute withdraw very quickly because of the amount that you ingest. Used to get them all the time within like an hour of me, not drinking, major panic

[@TurdFerguson456]

😂 Bert said, "Little Wayne." HEH!

[@smburk88]

Jason found the glasses. Those hit pretty hard, I gotta say...

[@williamgriffith6061]

as a fan, i feel so lucky that Tony Hawk is actually just a cool dude.

[@ryancarver4270]

Poor ole Bert. Bless his heart. he can't help it. Bert needs Jason on speed dial to keep him in check.