Bertcast # 475 - Chris Distefano, Don DiPetta & ME

[@mikestory2891]

Beeeert, i miss the cooking show. You have to bring it back!

[@laurenclark1304]

Leann looks FANTASTIC! Honestly, she looks so amazing!

[@colemason3903]

Bert explaining how he was gone for two weeks while holding up 3 fingers, realizing it and lowering one finger, THEN repeats how he was gone for two weeks and holds 3 fingers up again😂 Welcome back Bert!

[@bouchetouche]

*Bert passing the wine* Chrissy Curiosity: "Anybody got any allergy medication?" 😂😂

[@farls1290]

we all know what happens when he has an antihistamine and some liquor

[@monsieurdildo]

🍆🍆🍆

[@ryanprendergast7776]

He gonna come see you in a different way

[@earlymorningpodcast]

Chrissy Chaos & the guy who gave Santino Covie-wovie! YAAAASSSS!

[@claybillings]

I love how Chrissy calls Tom, Tommy.

[@luisattack]

Berts gonna be the first comedian to be canceled by his own kids, no wonder he doesn’t wanna be home ever 🤣

[@lydiatelford]

I said “oh my god” out loud, alone and in awe, when Leann came in.

[@MrChuckSigler]

Hahahaha so true

[@bibby1391]

Thought he pulled a Garth on her

[@CptCupcake5]

Why?

[@gsxrman599]

I was surprised as well, like damn she could get it. Cheers Kreischer family!

[@davidmark7785]

I was like damn she looks hot

[@Bartokomous]

Bert woke on headdresses with a framed poster of him in a headdress in the background. Love it!

[@KB19910]

Then says it’s cultural appropriation. Which means he’s just virtue signaling

[@jcalahanp]

Or maybe he was being a comic, you know portraying himself as a strong warrior chief to a community that would understand the absurdity, kinda like every other framed item surrounding that poster? He isn't appropritaing it, he is clearly specifically making a spectacle of himself in the local style, as he is doing with all of the others.

[@JosephBakernorcalbitcoins]

He explained in his first podcast in the new studio that the poster is alright since it's a Mexican Warrior and not Native American 🤦.

[@EthanC1030]

I love Chrissy but when you put him on Bert's podcast with a second guest you can bet your ass the second guest isnt going to get a word in. Poor Don lol. Great podcast between Bert and Chris though

[@SBV90]

Don talking about how broke he is, whilst Berts justifies his "you may as well fly first class" dilemma. Read the room!

[@SBV90]

then toasts to just Distef at the end haha

[@AgendaInMind]

Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

[@jeremyw6246]

@@AgendaInMind uh, did you have a stroke dude?

[@hunterlawson227]

Fatboy Diesel 😂😂

[@planecrashcorner7283]

He loved saying "i tripped while acting" lol

[@AgendaInMind]

So the least corrupt countries who held their citizens hostage for the shortest amount of time had the lowest Boogey Virus rates. Of course.... because people don’t get sick from germs, they get sick from being scared and upset about something that happened in their lives. Enter the worldwide FEAR CAMPAIGN. The Germ Theory was never actually proven to be 100% accurate, yet the trillion dollar medical industry is entirely based on that theory. What's the CAUSE of death in people with this "virus"? Does their brain explode? Does their heart stop beating? The CAUSE of death is still pneumonia. Pneumonia is not something you can "catch". It's a biological result of being "scared to death" of something which is exactly what the media has done to people dumb enough to watch them. You've heard the term "Worried sick". That's because your BRAIN causes you to become sick due to the stress it is perceiving! Why do you think young kids aren't getting the Boogey Virus? Because they aren't sitting in front of the news being scared to death because they're too young to understand a Fear Campaign. These pathetic "experts" just make shit it up to explain their narrative as they go. First they tell you kids bring home every illness from school because they're not "exposed" to enough things, then they say somehow they're immune to a Boogey Virus? Does anyone have common sense?! You don't show the symptoms of "disease" until you stop being panicked and afraid. These symptoms usually show up 1-2 weeks after you've relaxed and resolved the upsetting event. There's no such thing that some diseases you can "catch", but not all. It's not that complex! If you can't "catch" cancer, diabetes, MS, arthritis, etc., from other people, then you can't "catch" colds, flu and Boogey Viruses. So governments around the world are CAUSING fear frights in everyone based on an unproven THEORY by one man, Louis Pastaur, who redacted his claim of the germ theory on his death bed, yet no one listened. So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the Boogey Virus, that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and believe they then have it, and more panic will ensue as well as martial law. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Can anyone put 2 and 2 together to figure out what I'm saying?? Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it. There's no critical thinking anymore. People think they're educated because they've memorized the lies they've been told for 100 years.

[@eddyquezel7909]

@@AgendaInMind hey buddy, smoke this joint and go look at a tree, anything else than what you’re doing

[@samhuff999]

@@AgendaInMind what?

[@ryana8022]

@@AgendaInMind you just said absolutely nothing

[@thecarter912]

@@AgendaInMind You need to realize even if you have a valid point, you need to restructure it and make it more legible. You were pretty scatter brained in your approach. It's hard to connect the dots.

[@collincalhoun3521]

make no mistake cuz chrissy podcasts stays being funny

[@ryanprendergast7776]

Comfy wumfy

[@bobbyz7019]

Dasss it !!!!

[@GymAndSun]

“Askren’s gonna win. Watch the tape, tell me different.” Narrator: *He didn’t.* 😆

[@MokInfinity87]

Chris's face after Bert let's the allergy medication slip drop!!🤔 😂🤣😂 Bert is starting to ride his horse REALLY high!! Gotta say Chris is just a Beast and Don seems chill wish Bert worked him into the podcast.

[@josepholiva4260]

Ive never ever ever ever anticipated a movie more in my life bert congratulations on absolutely everything

[@FluffyMatzahBalls]

Sending you lots of good thoughts and energy for Thursday! You've got this. Thanks for always making us smile. - Also, LeaAnn is looking gorgeous! ❤

[@mdhphd7777]

000

[@mdhphd7777]

000

[@mdhphd7777]

P

[@a.k.4o]

Digging the styles. RUSH👑

[@TylerRobertNielsen]

YOURE AN FF! LOVE YA BABES

[@leecraig6933]

Chrissy D. hit the nail on the head. We people who get up and go to work every day and live semi regular lives are fans. We love you guys and don't care about the bullshit.

[@FreePalestineforever657]

OH MY GOD LEEANN! ❤️ Are those the only seconds we get to see her all made up like that?

[@janec4]

After watching this episode I wish Bert and Chris would form their own podcast together

[@littlewigglemonster7691]

Chris does so well with many! Love his personality

[@buffywasright]

"I have a list of goals". Is one of them going back to 2 Bears 1 Cave before 2022?

[@KCNicole]

For real......I never want to see Nikki or Schaub again 🤮

[@richeeezgaming6929]

Did you even watch the intro

[@buffywasright]

@@richeeezgaming6929 It’s called sarcasm dude. We all know he was gone for 3 months, they said it a million times. But somehow he banked tons of episodes for Bertcast and fuck all for 2B1C, which is by far the moneymaker.

[@shawnkoprivichkoprivich4999]

Proud of you Bert you never gave up on you and your wife is a testament to a good woman !!!! all love from Jupiter Fla

[@tonymarselle8812]

Bert makes me realize I lived my life wrong.

[@NOPE-55515]

Hey Bert make sure you ask your doctor and your anesthesiologist for a nerve block so when you wake up you feel nothing on your left side I had 2 shoulder surgeries that thing helps so much

[@orionallen7735]

Loved this episode. Love you and Chrissy and ready for some future don

[@benGman69]

Prayer for Brent's tendies 🙏

[@Voleno]

12:36 if you wanna jump right in.

[@gumbygreens8975]

Intro the the podcast. Bert saying "I don't listen I fix things". Half way through Bert saying he really listen. Haha!!! What a hype man

[@_Seanime]

GOD BLESS BERT, there's power in prayer. please keep him in your prayers and thoughts!

[@bryanenglish3242]

Ive sure missed u on 2 Bears 1 Cave,get well soon Brett

[@ohgoonies8964]

Congrats Bert Even though I've only been a fan of you since the pandemic started I can honestly say you are A cool fucking Guy

[@ProfessorMoriarty_done_kilt_Q]

At the very least…king of the Cool Guy Club

[@evil_ethan]

im in the same shoes as you and him crissy and bobby lee are my favorite comics

[@LocChicago5]

You should check out 2 bears one cave that's bert and Tom segura..... and also bert and Bill burr have a podcast

[@xballinlikemj23x]

Bert you'll be fine, my last surgery and my only surgery was 17.5 hours. Not to mention I had around a 10% chance to survive and I woke up 132 days later.

[@Dan-kb9dr]

Congratulations Bert. Truly earned

[@wumbologypatrick]

You're a great man Bert.. That's all that needs to be said

[@dotsongray]

One of those episodes where Bert should’ve just said w/ Chrissy Chaos lol

[@dave3006]

Distenfano is funny as hell, wish there was more of his stand up out there to watch.

[@adamwuest3958]

Congratulations on the variety award brother. Much deserved 👏

[@sheepinsleep9268]

The talk about death and feeling crazy hit at home. You are an American treasure my friend. I am so excited for the movie.

[@emmajayne682]

Wishing you all the best for the surgery Bert, will be thinking of you and hope your anxiety is manageable! LOVE YOU BERT from one severe anxiety suffrrer to another ❤💪❤💪

[@suezeeeeee]

You deserve all your success and recognition. Sending prayers your way !!

[@josef2012]

Always love these health tips from Bart,America's Sweetheart Alcoholic 🇺🇲💗

[@lCurbstomp]

Only took 2 mins, including the tour announcement, to compare his "injury" and surgery to Tom's.

[@notmychairnotmyprblm]

Ya love to see it.

[@lCurbstomp]

@@notmychairnotmyprblm why we are here

[@notmychairnotmyprblm]

@@lCurbstomp 100%

[@zacheryboyce48]

Hell yea Stewart Huff shoutout!

[@dondipetta2958]

the TRUTH!! Name me 3 better doing it... I'll wait

[@michelobdog8825]

Nice to berts awesome variety of pictures on the wall

[@jaymack1462]

U got this Bert!! Sending good Vibes your way!!

[@Kbwintyy]

I went “holy shit Leanne 😍” she does look like a fucking million bucks, absolutely fucking gorgeous! And love how he hypes her up lol

[@littlewigglemonster7691]

Lol me as well, he’s lucky guy, her personality is soooo attractive to! Your very gorgeous/pretty too!!!

[@someguy8578]

We knew she was outta Berts league before. Now I’m questioning if they’re even the same species!! Good on ya Leanne! Lookin great!

[@EPHESIANS-2.4-9]

We love ya Bert, congrats on the award.

[@MeticulousTechTV]

You got this Bert!

[@tylerjenerick9507]

Never heard of Don until watching this, but I can get down with his style... observer until having something straight to the point to say... I dig it! Plus, he plugged a dude that I'm sure not many of your fans know of (Dale Jones). Dale MURDERS rooms, with nothing but clean, one-liners. Compared to Nate and Jim, I'd say Dale has the lock on keeping the laughs rolling, non-stop, with clean comedy... hands down!!

[@dondipetta2958]

my guy!

[@Adam-hg3so]

Bert and Chris need to do a history podcast

[@bh1981yt]

LeAnn smokin! 🙌 Congrats Bert

[@dannyleavy8190]

Bro u did us proud by winning this award ...u win we all win. Good luck Thursday Berty boy

[@delta666SoT]

Don't know Don, But I loved the episode, I hope to see him in other things :D

[@onedumbpollock6789]

Yessssssss I’m. Telllin ya Bert Chris is it home runs out here he makes everything way more funny when he puts his chaos spin on it lol can’t wait to listen to this one

[@rampexgaming7981]

Thank you so much man. Your Content makes the day better.

[@troy961]

The allergy meds comment 😂 Chrissy kills me

[@danieldelrosario8003]

“History” repeats itself in this podcast .

[@briangalloway3684]

Kharma came for you trying to help put Toms arm back 😂 you'll be all good Bert!!!

[@thealchemist6251]

Only Bert could ruin the sustainability idea of liquid death. Use a cup while at home hahahhahaha

[@D4nielP]

Distefano laughs like the butler in scooby doo and the boo brothers

[@iansanford8369]

Bert: “I don’t think I could wear a head-dress, that would be so racist” Right behind Bert: picture of him dressed up like an Indian with a head-dress

[@gordonfreeman1700]

Amazing Guest, just started and KNOW it will be great!

[@DoubleOhBlandy]

I feel ya Burt, Totally understand being able to fix problems but not listen to a long, drawn out story about them. Great episode! Thumbs UP!

[@srulifriedman2957]

Bert, the best comebacks only come if you listen. Planning what you will say next and not paying attention to the speaker will make the conversation fall flat. Huge fan. You missed a couple bangers from Crissy Comebacks there. Just listen 🙄 Now I'm that guy

[@kingkai7279]

Bert: "We were gone for two weeks" Also Bert: *holds up three fingers*

[@wolf359loki]

You gave Chris your Phone.... Your going to regret that move Bruce.

[@_m_m4]

We love you Bert ❤️

[@stlslowninja]

We love Bert!

[@GymAndSun]

Chrissy Chaos!! Yas queen

[@yuritesticoff1141]

"I got you Bret..Bart...Bert, I got you Bert" -God

[@sanmansabane2899]

Bart is the kinda guy who says "two weeks" in a conversation and shows three fingers

[@ninosplace881]

If you're coming to Boston you should add a MGM or Mohegan show Bert!!!

[@ShyTuna]

You wake up from anesthesia feeling like shit lmao

[@EddieHalifax]

CHRISSY CHAOS HEEEEEYYYYY BABE! BERT, BERT, BERT!

[@daniellejeffrey4856]

Honestly would LOVEEEEEE TO SEE YOU ON IMPAULSIVE !! PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN

[@daniellaguna2190]

Happy 4th o July Three and o half later 😜 love you guys! 😘

[@darthbawlz2165]

Anyone else catch Chrissy throw back joke when he got his wine 🍷? When he asked for allergy meds. Somethings burning episode

[@hernanhernnadez3240]

He wanted to say it again but they didn't bite haha

[@wd5739]

Alarm set my dude🙏

[@x7slim8x]

An hour long surgery? My spinal fusion was over 6 hours. You'll be fine buddy, no worries you've got this!

[@Fry1721]

I hope you are doing well. Take care. # backproblems

[@mykillmatic]

cant do nothing BUT love chrissy tea bags!! ima 2009 white too bruh lol

[@clemzonb]

Bert kreischer = BK. BK = Burger King and Burger King is awesome. Thanks Bert.

[@johnnyblaze1690]

1:04:54 As a picture of Bert in a Aztec headdress sits behind him he talks about cultural appropriation. “Just a heads up” Burnt Chrysler 😂

[@bluez1313]

I would've liked to have heard a little bit of Don's story. Sounded like he had an interesting background story and is now living the struggling up and comer comic lifestyle that Bert loves to talk endlessly about. If only Bert would've let him get more then a sentence out. That's why the title has " ME" capitalized in it.

[@thisTofu]

jo bert, dont forget about your boy drew, he also insisted on u making the machine story you big thing!

[@stevenhouseman3769]

Bert-NEVER QUIT! Cue the music to his cooking podcast....

[@SPS]

I have never seen a Podcast with Christina D where hes not bringing up being a physical therapist🤣 I feel like you could say I went to catch for dinner last night and the next thing out of his mouth would be "did you know I was once a physical therapist"

[@jonnaimi170]

“Click that” “ he actually wrote it down”

[@crziq7884]

Prob won’t see this but congrats Bert. Good luck on the surgery and the rehab

[@stikdude22]

Bert “you never make mistakes in life” kreischer

[@Ragnarok6664]

Only lessons hit or miss

[@barrycarpenter]

Missed the bleep boys. $15k jet ski it is. Damn Bart

[@whiskeyneat97]

We need Legion of Skanks back on!! Loving the studio

[@yuritesticoff1141]

Bart will be so nervous for surgery he will walk in the hospital slapping down Tito's and soda in his giant Kool Aid cup & dragging a to scale cross. Take a breath Bret, God loves you

[@clubemcgroober6005]

Noticed you’re staying a while in Denver! Cheers! If you want the absolute hidden, possibly illegal Red Rocks Spot, I’ll show ya! We’ve taken our kids so many timea

[@hcedano24]

My boy Don. Getting the exposure he deserves.

[@dondipetta2958]

My GUY!!

[@The.Adam.D]

There’s bald eagles in Florida Bert lmfao

[@AJ-ut8cz]

Do some shows in Albuquerque, please.

[@amberramos6931]

Homie was way off on that Askren vs Paul prediction!!!

[@ToasterBurner35]

Coming to Bethlehem, Pa! Live right by there

[@bobbylarge7184]

scrolling the comments looking for someone else who noticed every time bert says "two" and holds up 3 fingers lol

[@chancewalker7687]

The guy who gave Santino COVID and stained Bart's carpet.

[@tomadamo3226]

From the Midwest here, didn't know they don't have bald eagles in California? They are everywhere here. Especially by freeways as the eat roadkill.

[@chetterbezly3905]

I didn’t realize there was 3 people on this podcast until half way through it🤔