Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #21

[@jackreinecke6429]

Jayne (the Fairy Princess) is my grandfather's second ex-wife! This video is infamous among my family; all of us own an original VHS. The voice she uses in this video is not phony, she really talks like that. The "Gwendolyn" character is a fairly accurate portrayal of her actual personality. Believe it or not, "A Princess Party" was once sold at Target stores across the midwest. I absolutely lost my shit when I saw it on the wheel! This made living in 2020 almost worth it.

[@Dasgath]

@Alex Spots Wood You had to go there... Thanks for sharing Jack!

[@allymorris1678]

This comment needs more likes

[@LetsSmokePodcast]

Imagine the sound this princess made when your grand pappy blasted this broad’s back out dressed like a fuckin druid

[@SpinTheWords]

Yeah! She was my uncle's third wife too! She rubbed the wands on him after eating dip off his taint. Good times.

[@filmgeekstudios4393]

@@LetsSmokePodcast my sides are in orbit

[@RamnaViaz]

Jay is a vampire or something, he stole the hair, youth and strength out of every single one of his friends.

[@snek09]

oh boy, youre so fucking original. Nobody's ever said that before

[@g.sergiusfidenas6650]

Him and Colin, which would make them perfect for a Re View of The Lost Boys.

[@Nekkroto]

@Imperial Fister No.He is the one that kills cats.Mike told us in the Halloween video.Jay is saying "Goodbye sweet cats" while doing it.

[@mr.guydude]

Silly fools! Jay isn't a vampire. He's an alien, or maybe just a psychopath, but an adorable one!

[@TheKML777]

His friends have none of those things. The only things he would get from them are diabetes and Tums festival (Rich), pretentious knowledge (Josh), alcohol poisoning and liver damage (Mike), and baldness (Jack).

[@JiottoCaspita]

Presumably, "2-B Moms" were trying to warn about the dangers of toxoplasmosis to pregnant women and just failed to communicate any part of the danger whatsoever.

[@keithshannon8536]

yeah there's no other reason to combine undercooked food warnings with cat shit warnings

[@johnsonlusmc]

Yep, I was about to say the same thing.

[@ambergianello]

Keith Shannon it’s because the bacteria in cat excrement is very bad for pregnant women and they even say not to handle it when pregnant. Just an extra warning for pregnant people in general. (They didn’t do a good job)

[@CaptainPRESIDENT]

I mean "don't eat cat shit" is not an ignoble message.

[@frbe0101]

Hard to rap and rhyme "brain parasite"

[@luke9648]

Jay says Turtle Dreams reminds him of The interpretive dance scene in The Big Lebowski, well Meredith Monk IS ON THAT SOUNDTRACK for the song in the scene where Maude Lebowski flies overhead flinging paint everywhere!!! Crazy.

[@Cybothron]

No fucking way

[@mrman6035]

What a small world lol

[@noComment243]

​@@ArchontasilTHIS is the point. I'm firmly of the belief that she isn't.

[@Gibson343088]

@Archontasius she's associated with Yoko Ono, she's one hundred percent not in on the joke.

[@MourningNihilist]

Jay has a robot brain, it's infuriating

[@michaelmalfaro3746]

The ending with Rich Evans inserted into Turtle Dreams is a work of art. Who cannot relate to Rich Evans, thrust into a strange world who's rules he is unaware of and cannot understand, yet expected to conform to? Is he not the everyman?

[@zacharystamler6620]

Best laugh I've had in a long time

[@MegaManXPoweredUp]

I thought that's just how Rich Evans is in everyday life?

[@Orosian5]

I figured that outro was essentially a preview of Rich Evans when he dies and finds himself in hell.

[@c-puff]

Inserting Rich into the video somehow made it into a much stronger artistic statement than the original video could ever hope to be.

[@frbe0101]

@a HERO that doesn’t know what protect means I thought he was the audience insert of the turtle?

[@goodlookingcorpse]

I wonder how many retakes 'Turtles Dreams' did. "Cut! God damn it, Ted. Step right, squeal while stepping left, wave arms. Why would you step right while waving your arms? What would that even mean?"

[@CharlesHepburn2]

hilarious my dood.... literally LOL

[@biglicker4473]

😂😂😂 im not high enough to paint this vividly in my head but im laughing at the thought of it

[@joeomalley2835]

That's hilarious! I imagine it went down like that, too.

[@Marinealver]

moms2b makes you grateful TikTok wasn't around at that time.

[@Jammonstrald]

@a HERO that doesn’t know what protect means The modern dance I've seen loves to use wild, jerky movements. Sort of like rebelling against the complete neurotic "proper" body control of ballet. I'm guessing to dance types, ballet is like classical music, and those flailing arms are a Chuck Berry guitar solo.

[@IAmPovidone]

The fact that everybody started engaging with the Turtle Dreams amd went into a prolonged, ernest discussion about performance art just to annoy Rich Evans

[@darktower0603]

That dude kept talking like he had insight but he never actually finished a coherent thought!

[@anenemystand5582]

@@darktower0603 you'll have to be more specific

[@habibullahas-safaasabahsha365]

I love how AMD gets free advertising everytime someone misspells and

[@aitorjimenez2705]

This may be very vague but does anyone know a piece by a experimental or minimalist composer that used something like a muted piano or playing a regular piano very lightly to get the mechanism of the piano to make noise instead of hearing the notes played? Someone made a KZbin video talking about it and for a comedy bit they made it into like a Christmas song, just by having someone say "Christmas" during it

[@mimewithamouth]

Aitor Jimenez Prepared Piano by John Cage? The Banshee by Henry Cowell?

[@chrisparkcomedy]

"In 2020, the KZbin film review channel Red Letter Media found a copy of the WGBH filmed version and featured it on their show Best of the Worst. The group panned it and stated that it was symbolic of the hollow and vapid state of avant garde art. They stated that they were unsure if it was a spoof of performance art, with Rich Evans asserting he “holds it in utter contempt”.[12]" On the turtle dreams Wikipedia page

[@KAKnyght]

And then they put it in their Hall of Fame lol

[@OneUponADime]

Aw its not on there anymore

[@BGNOLA]

It reminds me of every "Video Art" instillation piece I sat through in the 80s

[@Eisenwulf666]

​@@BGNOLAyeah that's, i think, the issue here. It's something that had meaning in the 90s wave of video art, psychedelic revival and discourse. If you watch music videos of the 90s you will find a lot of similar themes : extreme close ups, black and white, repetitive movements ecc. Nowadays it seems weird and outdated and a bit silly.

[@snazzle9764]

Someone removed it, but if you think about it - this review is probably the single largest amount of coverage it has ever received, aside from short blurbs from pretentious film journalists. It's weird to think of RLM outside of a bubble, but it legitimately gets more viewership than many traditional outlets

[@Sangria713]

I love how Rich no longer humors Mike's attempts at... anything.

[@TheUltimateRiku]

Who can blame him after the last Best of the Worst

[@FbManFA]

Rich is my favorite person and this video was very therapeutic for me

[@obtusedan]

That's character development

[@peterguarinonyc]

My mind is blown! I know Meredith Monk very well. I've known her my whole life. One of my parents worked for her. I spent countless hours being dragged to her performances across the world as a child. This made my day. My favorite thing that ever happened during the time I spent with Meredith is her anger when reading a local paper's review of her work, calling it a meow mix commercial.

[@ManiacalForeigner]

"meow mix commercial" MY SIDES Did she ever elaborate of what her work is supposed to be about, if anything at all?

[@peterguarinonyc]

@@ManiacalForeigner Well, from what I can remember (after many confusing conversations after being forced to sit through shows of hers) is that it's a deconstruction of sound, music, language and dance. You're not really supposed to understand, I think. When you get to a level of weirdness, or avant garde art (another term for weird) you are supposed to just experience it and stop trying to understand....maybe. Like a form of meditation. To be frank there are people who do this better, in my opinion, like Phillip Glass. Though, yeah, I think it just sounds like people meowing for some tasty meow mix.

[@dosenfutter99]

Peter Guarino i can totally underline the point of deconstruction. In the 60s many composers tried to go over music or art itself by removing it from its basic structures. Easiest part was by using nonsense-language (see György Ligeti’s Aventures)or metric deductions. With this technique (which was for this time period always the focal point of making avant-garde music) you could create something new and get therefore perhaps beyond the ostensible meaning of art/music itself or see it in a new light.

[@lenowin]

I'm deeply sorry you had to be exposed to this kind of shit for any length of time.

[@atway70]

@@peterguarinonyc It's funny, I'm sure Josh mentioned Phillip Glass in the cut-out bit lol... I couldn't place her sound, but I knew it was familiar... The Fog Of War is one of my favorite docs, and seeing you mention Phillip Glass made me realize that's who it was. Looked them up, and sure enough, same scene back in 80s NYC. I 100% agree, PG nailed the style. Not gonna lie, though - I watched Turtle Dreams start to finish a couple times after this video, lol - it's not dreadful, but I wouldn't call it revolutionary, lmao

[@vituperation]

Mike has two loves: Star Trek The elderly

[@AlexFallotnova47]

What about ghost adventures?

[@ChocorocK]

Both of which encompasses the existence of Rich Evans.

[@MrHendrix17]

@@slamdanwhich3990 that's why Mike loves the elderly. They remind him of a time when Star Trek was good

[@DOAM1234]

So you're saying he loved star trek picard?

[@Karma20XX]

Mike only has one love and that is torturing his friends. I include Star Trek in that.

[@ccjuju]

Jay crying "Stop it!" in distress as Meredith keeps bobbing in and out of the frame is my MVP moment pick.

[@xavierkazoo1619]

Mine is Jay screaming SHUT UP at Robot in the Family

[@fenrishero]

Mike's desire to inflict pain has had no outlet for months and it shows.

[@ComradeRemus]

I have never seen the wheel stacked with so much crap before.

[@Greendalewitch]

@@ComradeRemus Where do they even find this stuff?

[@atlurk]

No, it's because of Captain Kirk bullying him

[@PaytonsOwnProductions]

Mike’s fervent obsession with the elderly never ceases to fascinate.

[@kdkseven]

Is he himself elderly yet? I feel like his obsession/disgust/hilarity with/at the elderly comes from his absolute fear of the idea of becoming and being elderly.

[@adama.7735]

@@kdkseven He’s turning 42 in November. Tick tock!

[@Issicra]

As soon as I saw it on the wheel, I said "Ohhh... here we go"

[@luciusharris5899]

@@kdkseven Bingo!

[@lieutenantkoerschgen5714]

The real reason: old people are ghosts 2-B

[@honklerfinkelstein2113]

So i looked up Turtle Dreams and found this on Wikipedia; "AllMusic awarded the album four stars, with Ted Mills calling it "A daring display of vocal gymnastics and a journey back to childhood when all sounds were wondrous".[4] Red Letter Media critically panned it, stating that they were unsure if it was a spoof."

[@magmavision2000]

Someone added upon it: Rich Evans stated that he "holds it in utter contempt" UPDATE: Someone added more RLM sauce: The tape did tie for "Best of the Worst", however.

[@bkgrila]

@@magmavision2000 These changes were removed, and the change history on the most recent edit is "layman review is inappropriate" *lol*

[@joaovitorstein4024]

And I thought free contribuitions meant layman were the ones making the articles. Go figure.

[@Bufflehead_7]

I looked up the full performance on KZbin. All the comments just say things like “Amazing performance! Truly breathtaking!” But no one is saying WHY it’s an amazing performance... can anyone explain it?

[@shurik121]

@@Bufflehead_7 Modern art is incomprehensible to anyone outside of art majors.

[@heyeveryoneimcool]

"We were only following orders." -The producers of Massaging the Elderly

[@pepepoopsonthefarright7531]

the same could be said for turtle dreams

[@nelsonsavage4635]

we were only fondling elders.

[@MrCecil]

Allegedly.

[@GoodAvatar-ut5pq]

I did *NOT. SEE* that coming!!

[@SEATACx]

@@GoodAvatar-ut5pq haaaaaaaaaaaaaa nice

[@decibelfilm]

I'm so glad someone finally called Rich Evans out on his most famous and discussed trait, his dismissiveness of avant-garde art.

[@barthalen]

What a plebe!

[@Strauss-]

it is so frequently talked about!

[@serbenton]

I'm not a fan, but at least avant-garde art forces you to think outside of your comfort zone.

[@scalticus]

@@serbenton forces you to think about some common political message in a very pretentious and drawn out way

[@PixelLife101]

Lol sure mate

[@jacobanderson4057]

Hey, everyone stop screaming into the void, RedLetterMedia is on!

[@primedecanus5301]

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH....oh look RLM is on.

[@russiandeadpool298]

These comment somehow indicates that all RLM fans are lovecraftian monsters

[@Greendalewitch]

@@russiandeadpool298 2020 made us into Lovecraftian monsters. Ps. Have you seen The Yellow Sign?

[@KumaPaws376]

AIDS!!!!!!!

[@spiritbx1337]

Guess I'll stop for an hour and 10 minutes >.>

[@squiddlykicks8327]

I was really hoping they would land on "why does mom drink so much." I need answers.

[@asdfasdf7199]

mom drinks because you're a disappointment

[@spacedinosaur8733]

The Patriarchy

[@jongerbergerdecht5579]

She's sad that Rich Evans already has a girlfriend

[@SamsTheBams]

@@jongerbergerdecht5579 I am sorry to be "that person" but... Macaulay Culkin is actually a male. - I mean, we all know he's the bottom, but still, he should be referred to as a boyfriend.

[@JeepusChrystler]

@@SamsTheBams Did you just assume Real McCoy Caulk Can's gender?

[@babyBELUGAr]

The editing cutting off Josh in the middle of talking about the audio in Turtle Dreams is one of the funniest things I've ever seen

[@BiPolarUrsus]

Jay is slowly turning into a the 90's heart throb he always wanted be.

[@moze-x]

Sub Slater

[@Starch-Wreck]

Jay is slowly turning into Lazlo.

[@morecrapforputdowns]

Can't wait to see "hangin with Jay" in the near future! Finally get to see him on the beach!

[@TheMettaur]

I'm absolutely here for the transformation of Liquid Punished Venom Jay.

[@ThatNotACopGuy]

It won’t be long until he starts channeling his inner Jack Nicholson and start murdering Heathers

[@Rocketboy1313]

"That looks like the actress from 'Sleep Away Camp'!" Of course Jay is right. This made me happy.

[@mcparker8408]

The fact jay decided to keep the homeless captain america look makes me happy.

[@zetetik]

SO handsome.

[@deathsheadknight2137]

@@breezingby2611 thats what he wants us to think

[@enki345]

He honestly has no right looking this hot.

[@DonnaCPunk]

He just likes doing that hair flip thing, makin’ everyone go wild.

[@flora71146]

He looks great❤️

[@Asylumrunner8]

As someone who loves weird, obnoxious avant garde art, I really enjoyed the "3 of the guys try to dig into the the meaning of this weird-ass performance art while Rich Evans thinks they're all full of shit" dynamic

[@andrewcz8871]

The only one making sense was Rich Evans.

[@JaydevRaol]

😂🤣

[@doomstadt2371]

All that hot air coming out of Mike kept knocking the tapes over lol.

[@jamiekamihachi3135]

There is a part of me that would like an explanation but I feel like it would be an insufferable hour of pretentious madness of white peoples with too much time on their hands.

[@Scaevola9449]

I feel like Turtle Dreams wanted to have the type of surreal appeal that Once in a Lifetime does.

[@DiscoMouse]

I love the idea of drunk Mike mumbling unused jokes at jay.

[@LordEptar]

Mike was brought into this world drunk. There's never a moment that he *isn't* drunk.

[@Hussain_Zaki]

That's every half in the bag episode

[@RxYouth]

That was a pretty mean joke tho when you know Rich's background. The reason Jay says it is funny is because theres some truth to it.

[@alfiesellers89]

@@RxYouth what do u mean?

[@RxYouth]

@@alfiesellers89 rich was raised by his grandma, I believe his parents were addicts or alcoholics hence why he doesn't drink and never has.

[@trenthawkins]

RE: Cat Litter Actually, it is a thing; cat droppings can contain a parasite that can cause toxoplasmosis. It's somewhat rare, and *generally* harmless to most people, but if you catch it during pregnancy, it can cause miscarriages or stillbirths. So it is often recommended that women who are pregnant or plan to be pregnant soon should (if possible) have someone else change the litter box, or else be VERY careful, and sure to thoroughly wash their hands immediately after.

[@jackiepierce6314]

I was thinking the crew must not have cats and pregnant gf/spouses if they didn't know about toxoplasmosis.

[@marissau]

@@jackiepierce6314 They definitely don't have gfs....

[@mookow2]

The bigger question is why it's included in a video called Safe food attitude

[@Jeffmetal42]

@@mookow2 that's where it steps into cat shit eating territory. 😂

[@Oksa_L]

You think a panel of 4 white guys knows that? :D

[@Leonyithas]

Rich is a tradesman. Jay is an artist. In this episode we learn the similarities and differences between these characters based on their thoughts towards Meredith monk.

[@TheFilmFatale]

Josh is the art critic...and Mike is the disaster artist.

[@doctorhandsome]

@@bezahltersystemtroll5055 Just one of the many ways that Rich is like Jesus.

[@luckyspurs]

So what's Mike, a massive turtle wandering about

[@Jerakal]

Jay is a sap.

[@XxXNOSCOPEURASSXxX]

Rich is the ultimate everyman.

[@DongBong42069]

I know it's been a minute since this episode came out but I just wanted to say, I've employed Mike's Turtle Dreams at closing time method multiple times and it has literally always worked, besides in the instances where my coworkers got so frustrated they shut it off before it got the chance to work it's magic. Customers always remark "Sorry for overstaying our welcome" like yeah, I bet after being subjected to this shit you sure fucking are.

[@audiosurfarchive]

You absolute legend.

[@Jokoko2828]

At least the damn thing is useful for something.

[@mikebliss3153]

Beautiful

[@mikebliss3153]

I hope you don't get any pretentious art students and/or memelords that stay to listen to the whole thing.

[@michaelmoffat5720]

@@mikebliss3153 I did put this on and they stayed, i'm not joking, then they tried talking to me thinking I was "interesting", nope.

[@amber-8771]

the wheel has been rebooted more times than an 80's action franchise i love it

[@someguy53299]

Cartoonking1 still better than modern Star Wars

[@Mogget01]

Something something romance.... better something Twilight

[@skraegorn7317]

Now it looks like Voldemort in the first Harry Potter movie where it’s latched on to the back of the Plinketto board like some sort of sick parasite

[@MP-lc7vy]

@@cartoonking1789 That's gonna get a reboot though. McCauley Culkin will be starring as space cop. You didn't know this?

[@SirRoco1]

Remake the whole of Turtle Dreams with the RLM crew. I'd pay money to watch that.

[@pkmovies92]

I would pay for that too! I have the money! Take my money and dance!

[@maggstar]

Bumping this. This needs to happen

[@ARMIV4]

This... This needs to happen.

[@judgedeath3]

Dont give Mike more ideas! xD He will so do this now! xD

[@juricich6756]

@@RandomPath Rich must have a TMNT costume they could use.

[@lobokop69]

And Shatner had the audacity to accuse Mike of ageism, when in reality he just loves the elderly

[@cesartapia610]

He loves the elderly so much that the state of Wisconsin had to give him a mandatory restraining order to remain 500 feet away from all assisted living facilities.

[@lobokop69]

@@JohnnyNatrium I know. Tobey Maguire is :)

[@Vaporvice84]

I love the part in "Turtle Dreams" where there's hard cuts of people laying on the ground cuz it reminded me of when Mike was at a con and he did the same thing.

[@RyanReenBattikh]

Makes me think they actually made every BOTW tape and it's all a sham, or Rich Evans is a time travelling B movie screenwriter

[@McManners100]

Rich Evans: “Karma is gonna hit you like a freight train” *Few days later RLM uploads the Shatner video*

[@andrewcz8871]

I see it a bit as planned action. The way RLM edited this video to call out each reference in detail seems to be a reaction to the knee-jerk misunderstandings that Shatner had when he experienced the RLM videos that folks on Twatter linked to him. He didn't get what they were doing because he lacked context and didn't bother to seek it, so here they're calling out each one "for convenience".

[@ProtoPacket]

Is that the deleted video right after this in the playlist? I’ve clearly missed some Chanel drama

[@Treefiddy96]

@@ProtoPacket That deleted video was from a different Best of the worst. It was them reviewing a REALLY shitty movie called Diamond Cobra vs the White Fox. It got copyright claimed sadly.

[@dennismorneau9016]

@@Treefiddy96 Wow. Wow.

[@Around_blax_dont_relax]

@@Treefiddy96 deeeeuuuaaaaaaandraaaaaaaaaa! You do you and ill do me! Uppity up, uuuhh uppa uppahty up!

[@DDX1944]

"Mike you do realize someday, someday VERY SOON, karma is gonna hit you like freight train"... -Next Day- Mike gets bullied and ridiculed by William Shatner on twitter

[@bromazepam781]

It's like poetry.

[@roflcopter_launchpad1116]

I always knew Rich Evans was the Oracle. I knew. And no one believed.

[@nadussias]

@@bromazepam781 it sucks

[@miskatonic_alumni]

What's the latest word on the great Stoklasa/Shatner War of 2020?

[@megagrips6470]

@@miskatonic_alumni idk, i think its all a bunch of bull shitner

[@davidhayward6382]

Turtle Dreams represents the dreams of a turtle, and the utter fucking terror they go though every night.

[@gregstinkston7634]

Underrated

[@Lishadra]

Can’t they live for a long time with some nasty nasty wounds? I would have nightmares too if I knew that.

[@rebel4466]

@@Lishadra they can survive heavy injuries because they're dreaming that shit every night. They're pain resistant because of uouououo eeeeee uuuuu iiiiiii aeaea aaaaahhhh

[@Claymann71]

Freddy Kruger has nightmares about Turtle Dreams. WELCOME TO YOUR NIGHTMARE, B*TCH.

[@stephaniekaye8102]

what terror do they go through every night??

to the people rewatching the episodes are you guys also finding yourselves more and more enthralled by Turtle Dreams the more times you watch it? I feel like I'm being brainwashed It's hypnotic

[@angelnickl]

I do...I even start to feel "fond" of it. I sometimes listen to BOTW while going to sleep. Might be the worst idea.

[@admiralfrosty3495]

It's never too far from my mind. Especially when I go to the store

[@euchrideucr0w]

I have become an unironic Meredith Monk enjoyer.

[@gally242]

i fucking unironically love turtle dreams now it is my friend

[@starmanjr9179]

Most of it is horse shit but the backing track with the organ is pretty good I thought.

[@FortressofSolitude1138]

First Rich burns down his grandma's house with french fries, now he burns down the RLM studios by smashing up lighting kits. Rich is not cool about fire safety.

[@janeeyre1990]

Not cool about fiiiiiire saaafetyyyy

[@Puerco-Potter]

He was a little kid, a middle age little kid!

[@Shinkajo]

Wasn't that Ricky from TPB?

[@atomlib]

He used to install fire sprinklers actually before the 2008 hit the economy.

[@rachaelstout4994]

The sounds of those Turtle Dreams people make my cat profoundly upset.

[@moisheshucklegruber2982]

maybe it's frustrating to the cat because it sounds like a meow mix commercial and makes your cat crave some

[@kryonik]

Just don't eat their litter

[@LN997-i8x]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one. My cat was very agitated by Turtle Dreams.

[@HarryS77]

Fun fact: Jay mentions The Big Lebowski; Meredith Monk's music is used in that movie when Maude is introduced.

[@heinzbeanzrulez]

Well, Meredith Monk is on Spotify, and among her many albums is Turtle Dreams.

[@skraegorn7317]

Jamie Sutherland Which is funny bc that Turtle Dreams video is like if David Byrne directed The Dance of Birth

[@archfriend]

@UnholyUndies I was thinking it was the weird music playing over Julian Moore's introduction where she flies over The Dude with the paint brushes

[@Contra7311]

@@archfriend yep this is the scene of Meridith Monk sexually moaning.

[@Contra7311]

@@archfriend "vagina"

[@McToatsers]

They mentioned the interpretive dance scene from the Big Lebowski and how similar it is to Turtle Dreams. The movie also features music "Walking Song" by Meredith Monk in the scene that introduces Maude Lebowski. It's mostly just rhythmic throat breathing

[@SpaghettyLuvsU]

That's so funny, I always assumed the music for that part was a *parody* of avant-garde composers. I thought it was supposed to be another of Maude's projects to suggest that maybe she's just a vapid, pretentious dilettante.

[@javimiami92]

It’s like poetry it rhymes.

[@notchuckproductions5029]

Not mention it was used in True stories

[@SammEater]

@@SpaghettyLuvsU Maybe, good old Meredith is self aware enough?

[@itsd0nk]

@@SammEater sounds like she isn’t, if we’re to believe the commenter who’s known her their whole life and was forced to sit through countless performances and discussions of her works.

[@nicdennis]

David Lynch falls asleep to the Turtle Dreams soundtrack every night.

[@Necron1999]

David Lynch is probably mad he didn’t come up with Turtle Dreams.

[@ericgilbert1087]

That "Turtle Dreams" video is how people who don't like David Lynch see all of David Lynch's work

[@bouncycastle955]

Can confirm.

[@petrolak]

more like how people who have never seen any of David Lynch's work see all of David Lynch's work

[@curtisbloes7001]

yep.

[@RDog4484]

100%.

[@lilaclunablossom]

I would personally consider it a crime if someone compared this shit to Eraserhead lmao

[@jackofnotrades7745]

the phrase, "I vote to destroy Mike" has yet to be said and I am amazed by that

[@luckyspurs]

Yes but only because it's wheel of the worst and although many may try to destroy him, he can be....reborn!

[@llocarydoline9738]

True evil never dies.

[@CaptainPRESIDENT]

Strike him down and he will only grow more sinister.

[@gregbauer4433]

William Shatner might have said it recently.

[@thelennon07]

Wikipedia on Turtle Dreams: "In 2020, the KZbin movie-review channel Red Letter Media found a copy of the WGBH filmed version and featured it on their show "Best of the Worst". The group panned it, stating that they were unsure if it was a spoof of performance art. Rich Evans asserted that he “holds it in utter contempt." :D

[@dbpaperclip]

@@cow_tools_ while it was interesting that they actually did go on to discuss it, i'd still say they panned it. they laughed at it consistently and even josh, the one who respects meredith the most, said it was just bad.

[@JungleMan777]

I love that this is on the wiki page

[@judgedeath3]

@@dbpaperclip Well it sucked and can only see it as a good way of torturing someone by watching it nonstop. I watch any other movie than that xD

[@leoseling4413]

It's even funnier among the other overwhelmingly positive reviews on Wikipedia.

[@Heliosphan15]

I love it when they are recognized.

[@DrWeet-zr2cl]

This is a true story. One day years ago I came out of the grocery store to find a turtle sitting in a bare dirt area next to where I had parked my bicycle. I waited for a while to see if someone came to claim it, but no one did. So, I took it home. The next day I let it loose in a wetlands area near my house. As soon as I set it down in the grass it sprinted into the water and swam off - happily, I like to think. If nothing else, Turtle Dreams reminded me of my turtle friend. "I went to the ssssstore..." Indeed.

[@RepKyle95]

At least this isn't a story about people throwing a tortoise in a pond thinking it is a turtle.

[@ulture]

The turtle lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun

[@RyanSimonLeon]

So, when Josh said at the beginning that he knew who Meredith Monk was, it got me thinking that her name sounded so familiar... THEN Jay referenced The Big Lebowski as an example of having a parody of performance art in it, that Turtle Dreams seemed like a parody. That's when it hit me! I know Meredith Monk because SHE IS ON THE BIG LEBOWSKI SOUNDTRACK!!!!!! Her song, "Walking Song," is during the scene where The Dude first meets Maude, where she's above him in that harness flinging paint everywhere. This is blowing my fucking mind!!!!!

[@jacksonduruy4303]

She also had music in David Byrne's True Stories which RLM did a Re:View on

[@Dasgath]

Damn! Nice catch!

[@thepatchinatior]

Holy shit you're right

[@ddox2010]

of course Jay was right

[@ammosophobia]

I don't know what'll fry your brain more, the cocaine, music, or this reference.

[@cheeseguru1017]

Of course Mike edited this video, he’d do anything to watch that elderly massage footage again

[@cruxofthecookie]

"There's nothing wrong with mispronouncing words." - Rich Evans (2020)

[@themastermindwithahat607]

-Dick "Folding Chable" the Birthday Boy (2020)

[@FutBoy281]

@@themastermindwithahat607 Skhosts!

[@v00use]

“The light fell over and is smoking” Because Rich never learned to be cool about fire safety!

[@CaptainPRESIDENT]

Also, the volcano god was getting impatient to be massaged.

[@RustyMuck]

Rich decided to make french fries in grandma's kitchen

[@wishfulthinkin3478]

Someone has to make a Turtle Dreams tape using Rich Evans sounds

[@greatfrito]

Please god, yes. Please. Red Letter. You can make that. Everything has been leading up to this.

[@RDV333]

Diabetes Dreams: A set of Microtonal variations on the laughter of Rich Evans.

[@bryal7811]

This is genius!

[@beeaye7944]

@@RDV333 Alternatively; "Tums Fiesta - A celebration of Dick"

[@soulr9729]

"Rich Evans Screams"

[@isaach1402]

The guys are overthinking Turtle Dreams. The artist was inspired while wondering what her pet turtle, Neutron, dreamed of. My interpretation is the turtle sees its owner about all day but cannot comprehend it's owners actions in a meaningful way, so in the turtle's dream humans are just randomly moving around making strange noises. In other parts of the dream, the turtle is moving about random locations.

[@mrs_plinkett]

this is such a cute fact!

[@AssailantLF]

This should be a pinned comment, lol.

[@RegularCupOfJoe]

I'm glad I came across your post. Because I abhor deconstructionist art like Turtle Dreams. But you have suggested a simple interpretation that is much more humble and believable. You describe more plausibly what Meredith Monk could not with her "high-minded", post-modern, ivory tower academic rhetoric. If it is about what a turtle might think of the world around her when she is a person's pet, then there's substance to the art and it provides a simple context for interpretation and, thus, enjoyment and appreciation. This is why I can appreciate paintings from the Romantic era and poetry from Transcendentalism: what would ordinarily be complete crap and worth throwing in a fire is given substance that can be grasped by the mind and, therefore, enjoyed and appreciated. It is given substance by a simple clue about its context-- a title, a short description, and/or other writings/paintings from the artist. Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox. Thank you for your post. You put it simply, which I greatly appreciate.

[@DangerMenace]

@@RegularCupOfJoe So you don't like art, then? You only like the explanations that come with them. Got it.

[@RegularCupOfJoe]

@@DangerMenace Hastily generalizing that I do not like art is hasty indeed. I appreciate art but not deconstructionist art.

[@ploopplaap3436]

I love how the wheel has just become this more and more ominous presence as time passes.

[@Campboiwil]

Evil grows

[@ExaltedUriel]

"But true evil never dies; it is only... REBOOORN!"

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

The wheel in the video keeps on turnin'...

[@ploopplaap3436]

Jabbergeist it probably should

[@BlursedSYNthesis]

To be fair, "have some one else clean your litter box" is really a thing they tell pregnant women and immuno compromised people, they just didn't explain it well.

[@Dr.Spatula]

They say don't touch dirty litter, not eat it. That's plenty an explication lol

[@voilvelev6775]

@@Dr.Spatula but they didnt explain WHY exactly.

[@DKiSAerospaceHistory]

All they needed to do was say the word "toxoplasmosis"

[@moviebad109]

@@Dr.Spatula but why is that in a food safety video? Lol

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

@@moviebad109 Because people don't wash their DAMN HANDS when they do chores.

[@InnocentExile182]

so rich can say "avant garde art assholes" perfectly but he cant say folding table???

[@magmavision2000]

He's _too_ smart to pronounce common words.

[@chrisposey5191]

Lol, chable...

[@djoninstark1978]

He has a perchant for certain words.

[@dsweet5273]

English is his 8th language. Give the man a break.

[@ninsegtari]

It’s funny that they bring up the Big Lebowski landlord scene, because according to Wikipedia, Meredith Monk produced a song for that movie. Mind blown.

[@IronMan9771]

It's the song you hear when The Dude first meets Maude, when she's doing that painting while hanging naked from the ceiling.

[@notchuckproductions5029]

She also wrote the Road song used In one of Jay and Josh’s movies, True Stories !

[@jimmylaze]

@@notchuckproductions5029 wait where are jay and Josh's movies?

[@notchuckproductions5029]

@@jimmylaze I meant favorite sorry

[@Aaronslosek]

@@IronMan9771 that really makes a lot of sense,great pub trivia fact haha

[@jonhon]

RLM fan service is Mike laughing in the face of his inevitable elderly fate

[@Marigoldpyre]

I really don't know what's funnier: The fact that RLM actually covered Turtle Dreams by Meredith Monk or the fact that Josh OBVIOUSLY had prior knowledge of Meredith Monk (I know she's not super obscure but still.) Side note: Josh's ability to instinctively namedrop experimental/niche bands is why I love him

[@zacharystamler6620]

I enjoyed Josh going off on the artistic meaning of the audio mixing and production and everyone else zoning/editing it out. What, boys, if it's not visual then the language of production doesn't matter? Let Josh rant about audio mixing for the .1% of us who care!

[@Marigoldpyre]

@@zacharystamler6620 Honestly the look on Rich's face when Josh started to talk about the music itself hit way too close to home for me, I've been in Josh's place too many times 😂

[@tassoevan]

Josh is amazing, but I remembered her name from the Dark series OST.

[@rbgg2010]

@@Marigoldpyre I've been in Rich's place too many times lol...

[@Marigoldpyre]

@@tassoevan Yeah I just heard her work on that show recently! It sounds incredible! More reason for me to actually give it a watch.

[@weorgegashington9689]

Finally, RLM’s content budget has surpassed public access television

[@AmazingThor]

Rich’s contempt for Turtle Dreams is so pure. It’s actually refreshing.

[@jacksonduruy4303]

So weird factoid about Meredith Monk: they reference the Big Lebowski while covering her video, but her own music was used in that film. Her music was also used in the David Byrne film True Stories that RLM did a Re:View episode. She's actually collaborated with a lot of well known talented artists. If going to art school taught me one thing it's that talented artists often make total and complete garbage, I guess Meredith made Turtle Dreams on an off day :/

[@ammosophobia]

And going to Liberal Arts School taught my father that I hate him.

[@feebypeels2883]

@@ammosophobia Condolences.

[@michiganjack1337]

It’s the Walking Song! Oh my god that’s crazy. I’ve owned that soundtrack for 20 years and have inadvertently listened to it more then I care to admit - Well dome on making that connection it truly has just blown my mind down. I have so many questions now about Meredith Monk. My immediate dismissal has now grown into immense curiosity. 🐢 💃

[@sameash3153]

I love that opening piece from true stories

[@gtwrmw1978]

Funny you mention David Byrne, because the dancing in Turtle Dreams totally reminded me of David Byrne's dancing in the video for the Talking Heads song "Once in a Lifetime."

[@snakethefox9586]

That clip of the geriatric foot being rubbed came on just as I bit into a particularly overdone edge-piece of meatloaf, and the combined effect has not only completely sterilized me but also allowed me to see into the 4th dimension whenever I sneeze. I'll be coming after RLM for damages.

[@lostfan10000]

Does the 4th dimension look like Turtle Dreams?

[@Pacific_Norfweest]

So it was crunchy just like that toenail?

[@jonatassa6258]

"Of course Jay was right, again" Jay is a living encyclopedia of B movies.

[@bloocheez3]

That was my favorite part.

[@SirGeeeO]

Jay is a living encyclopedia of sexual perversion in movies

[@robotjox77]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[@archfriend]

I misread that as "8 movies"

[@benfrombelow]

According to Wikipedia, she produced music videos for Slayer

[@radracer8777]

rewatchin this, and Mike halfass singing the Turtles song while looking pleadingly to the rest of the group for some inkling of recognition is priceless

[@Gandaleon]

I was IN TEARS in the last 2 minutes. That's the funniest thing I've seen this year.

[@troumer]

I'd happily watch all of Turtle Dreams with Rich Evans edited in.

[@sterlingphoenix]

I literally had to pause this one towards the end.

[@menocat9]

Other than our current administration?

[@TheeWorldsGreatest]

I couldn't stop laughing. Especially when the Massaging The Elderly tape appeared, and he fell.

[@INTERNERT]

art is whatever makes you proud to be human

[@HundredDaysMusic]

Mike: "I would love a party just like this." [Jay will remember that.]

[@scottieman2]

Hopefully they will bring it back.

[@EskimoCreamKing]

Mikes supersoft birthday party.

[@Eamonshort1]

Great now I'm getting turned on at the thought of Jay dressed as a princess servicing the master of the manor this is all your fault

[@psykomancer4420]

@@Derek_Keenan He's the dog

[@92brunod]

@@psykomancer4420 Peeper really suits him

[@slybuster]

The first time in a rap song where 'I know your kitty is lookin' real pretty' and they're talking about an actual cat.

[@Avatar_of_Chairness]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@ratmfrelkins1]

When Wizard got shut down trying to compliment the recording of the music I laughed until I cried.

[@SBER98]

19:52 time stamped.

[@DevyanshBahri]

I didn’t get that

[@amelzon1]

@@DevyanshBahri Rich Evans is dismissive of art

[@RyanReenBattikh]

@@amelzon1 Rich is dismissive of art

[@lucianite0]

@@RyanReenBattikh Rich is dismissive

[@rambaral1698]

Turtle Dreams is legit just what Meredith Monk thought a turtle may dream about and how they experience the world, there is no deeper meaning whatsoever. It was largely inspired by her pet turtle Neutron

[@goddepersonno3782]

If this is real. She needs immediate psychological intervention

[@tomkrawec]

@@goddepersonno3782 That you don't like another person's personal creativity when it is completely harmless actually says more about you. And if you want society to step in as a moral majority to censor the avant-garde then, hey, I think we all know what that is.

[@goddepersonno3782]

@@tomkrawec it is shit. That is the majority agreement. As a student of music, the fact that you insult my intelligence by calling this art demonstrates how stupid your definition of art is.

[@wave1090]

What kind of living hell does she think a turtle's subconscious is?

[@Kyzrath]

@@goddepersonno3782 Art doesn't have to be 'good', though. And that was certainly not 'good'. But it can be... art.

[@luffyduffy7817]

I’m legit sad that Turtle Dreams isn’t about the sleeping habits of turtles that would be cute

[@marbs0204]

Do Turtles dream of Meredith Monk?

[@skraegorn7317]

Instead, we got “The Dance of Birth” directed by David Byrne

[@Spuck1983]

Papapapapapapa !

[@ColeHomeVideo]

Jay: "I'll mention Felissa Rose is in the pregnancy video so I won't be bombarded by tweets!" *will get bombarded with tweets that Meredith Monk composed the opening music to True Stories, a film they covered on re:View and one of his favourite films.

[@esotericVideos]

Meredith Monk seems like a group that wants to be Talking Heads but doesn't understand that Talking Heads music had melody, talent, and lyrical meaning.

[@ColeHomeVideo]

​@@esotericVideos Her track 'Road Song' in True Stories is beautiful. She clearly has talent, but BOTW is absolutely the worst spot it could have been showcased in, as well as the funniest thanks to Rich's reaction. Though I think it's unfair to view it from the point of view of people who review obscure b-movie schlock for a living. Obviously they would not like it.

[@ColeHomeVideo]

@@esotericVideos The comment doesn't make sense given lead singer/main songwriter of TH, David Byrne co-wrote, starred, and directed True Stories and chose her to contribute to his soundtrack, so she isn't really trying to be Talking Heads when TH (or at least Byrne) already asked her to collaborate with them.

[@Chimera-man-man]

esotericVideos Meredith Monk and Talking Heads are from completely different worlds musically. Talking Heads being a pop group and Monk being a classical composer. In this instance Byrne was actually influenced by Monk and sought her out for the OST

[@deathsheadknight2137]

@@esotericVideos you're thinking lori anderson

[@soil-ew2nv]

That two-chord organ riff from Turtle Nightmares has forever been blazed into my ears.

[@siukong]

I wonder if they got Dennis to play it for them.

[@theanalogkid7]

There actually IS a Meredith Monk song in The Big Lebowski!

[@williammitchell5201]

is it the song during the Maude sequence? The breathing exercise I think?

[@bingerz237]

There is also Meredith Monk in TRUE Detective and TRUE Stories!

[@eldebo99]

When Rich Evans opens one of his six mouths to sing the song that ends the Earth, we know what song he'll sing.

[@ManiacalForeigner]

"So Long and Thanks for All the Fish"?

[@lumilad]

Be cool about fiiiiire safetyyyy

[@dreddnott]

I went to the sto-sto-store

[@carlosmarcus3286]

@William Hebert I hope you like text...

[@reservoirfrogs2177]

Pirite is alright, with meeeee

[@columbosunday]

would unironically LOVE a series of them reviewing contextless art. any form. painting, dancing, sculpture, etc.

[@DoomieGruntVentures]

See if there's a DVD or tape of that one European art performance. Bunch of half-nude guys and girls on a stage with various things & metal pipes on them. I don't remember the name, but I'm sure someone will figure it out when passing by. Make them watch that. You can thank 2011 KZbin for making me aware of its existence.

[@shabath]

@@DoomieGruntVentures The one where that dude has a pipe attached to his crotch, and he bangs it on another pipe? That's someone's fetish, I'm sure.

[@DoomieGruntVentures]

@@shabath yeah. That's the one. I also figured out the name: Body Remix/Goldberg Variations

[@lithobreak3812]

The most important thing I've ever learned about modern/post modern art of any kind is that if you get mad at it for any reason it has already won

[@Pedro-zu3uq]

True wisdom.

[@CaptainHalibut]

Duchamp is smiling from heaven watching people continue to mald/argue about his fucking urinal sculpture over a century later

[@pavo1394]

All i could think about when the guy in turtle dreams flails his arms was: "This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife."

[@XianVivre]

Yo, I had the exact same thought

[@The_Gallowglass]

Same as it ever was Same as it ever was Same as it ever was Same as it ever was Same as it ever was Same as it ever was Same as it ever was Same as it ever was

[@kohtahirano4546]

LET THE DAYS GO BY!

[@rockchalk4815]

I was thinking "How did I get here?" but for entirely different reasons

[@zetetick395]

It's all a good bit Laurie Anderson as well

[@lockerpaint2955]

I wish to God that they'll watch more avant-garde arthouse stuff in the future... seeing Rich's dying expression as everyone else passionately debates a work of art's meaning is hilarious.

[@albynoman]

Totally agree. The anger and resentment they felt while watching and discussing The Jar was pure gold!

[@nintendonut100]

I want to see them watch Robert Ashley's Perfect Lives, that'd be something

[@imlxh7126]

@@nintendonut100 oh my god YES?? or laurie anderson's "home of the brave", that video was a trip and a HALF i love it so much

[@BGNOLA]

Wavelength by Michael Snow would be a good one

[@toonbat]

"We're not looking for trouble today. We're just looking for meats that taste delicious!" That' s how you found trouble in the first place, pregnant teenagers!

[@ManiacalForeigner]

Well, tasting alone would get them in too much trouble...

[@Turbobuttes]

STILL looking for that juicy Shaq meat?

[@siukong]

Really puts "wait for the juices to run clear, not red" in a new light.

[@shadylittlefox]

Hi there, support/care worker here! Colon massages are an important part of both aged and especially in disability care for clients with spinal injuries. Buildup of waste in the colon can lead very quickly to body heat issues and organ shutdown, sometimes within hours! Making sure that clients are able to poop regularly is an important part of our job!

[@JM-bd4qh]

You don't get paid enough.

[@johnnythewalrus]

I really could have gone without knowing that. And you seem a little too excited to talk about it...

[@crakhaed]

How did you find your way here?

[@deusirae7867]

"A daring display of vocal gymnastics and a journey back to childhood when all sounds were wondrous"- Ted Mills - AllMusic "This is garbage"- Rich Evans - RedLetterMedia

[@Joorum]

The scream of terror my brain made when I saw Massaging The Elderly was on the discussion table anyway despite not being picked. I should've known Mike can't resist anything involving the elderly. They did kinda spoil it by showing clips in the beginning as they wouldn't have captured footage without actually watching it.

[@sirspate]

Mike edited; we're lucky there weren't more.

[@spethmanjones2997]

A mental scream of terror is a wonderful description for what my brain did too-thank you for articulating that so well!

[@skraegorn7317]

“I just pictured an old lady flying through a windshield” -Mike Stoklasa, elderly-obsessed alcoholic

[@CS9_]

Wow, I can't believe they didn't mention Felissa Rose is the actress who played Angela Baker in Return to Sleepaway Camp AND Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor!

[@cloudsteele1989]

I'm sure that anybody interested in her and Sleepaway Camp already know that, but might have missed the video where she raps as a pregnant lady to young mothers.

[@doctorhandsome]

She's the resident Mangled Dick Expert on _The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs._

[@joelwhite2361]

Fun Fact! Meredith Monk is actually on the Big Lebowski soundtrack. It's the song with the weird breathing. Another fun fact. The Juiliard minimalist movement of music she inspired by was invented by a blind street performer named Moondog who hung out on sixth avenue in a viking hat.

[@mikelitwin]

"Turtle Dreams" is so irritating that the mere clips from BOTW actually made an appearance in my nightmare last night. So irritating that I felt the need to come all the way back here to a post a comment about it that no one will ever read just so I can feel the catharsis of making its irritating-ness known. OH GOD, WHEN I KZbin SEARCHED TURTLE DREAMS TO FIND THIS BOTW EPISODE, A LINK FOR THE FULL LENGTH TURTLE DREAMS APPEARED. IT HAUNTS ME.

[@MadJackChurchill1312]

I WENT TO THE STORE-STORE-STORE AND I

[@rawkguy4896]

Its funny that you say that. I watched this episode last night and fell asleep to it with my last moments of consciousness hearing that "store store store" part. I had legitanetely horrifying nightmares. There's definitely some subliminal messaging or hypnosis in that video.

[@King_Stranger]

cool story bro. cry some more

[@BurntL]

I was just about to go to sleep with this episode playing in the background. I think I might choose something else now, just in case...

[@TheMusicalFruit]

I really need a Peter Gabriel cover of Turtle Dreams for my life to be complete.

[@leosthes364]

The first tape is like a David Lynch’s wet dream that suddenly became a Lars Von Trier nightmare

[@mursuka80]

I was thinking it would be crazy to watch that shit on acid. It was probably made on acid though.

[@rojh9351]

I’m just back from listening to all of “Everything at the End of Time”, so this just sounds like trashy mainstream pop for the masses.

[@mfenn7325]

If you sort of like it, check out Philip Glass’s “Einstein on the Beach” - it’s hypnotic but it does feel like you are going nuts

[@furrybogard9724]

If you put the clips of it on mute and play a Talking Heads song in the background, it kind of works

[@EthePianoMan]

@@mfenn7325 I thought of Einstein on the Beach as well, but Philip Glass' music is a million times more engaging. Repetitive, yes, but once you get over the initial surprise, the rhythmic shifts are pretty captivating, and the winds really bring the instrumentation together into some great textures.

[@conormcguigan6305]

Meredith Monk apparently has a Star Trek connection, too. Found this: In 1995, Monk went where no experimental artist had gone before: Star Trek. Albeit a rare, audio-only episode of Star Trek, Monk is listed in the credits as composer along with fellow musician, Theo Bleckmann. “Star Trek: Envoy” follows Captain Sulu in the “Captain Sulu Adventures” series. In the episode, Sulu acts as an envoy to a historic peace settlement between the warring races, the Krikiki and the Den-Kai. Monk and Bleckmann composed music for the Krikiki/Den-Kai Ensemble, although it’s not clear which artist represents the Krikiki race or the Den-Kai. Help, Trekkies?

[@gregbauer4433]

Well their vocals remind me of the Thermians from Galaxy Quest, so a Star Trek connection makes perfect sense.

[@slybuster]

She went to the sta-sta-sta. She went to the sta-sta-sta. She went to the sta-sta-sta.

[@t0xcn253]

Jay was actually spot on in mentioning the Big Lebowski segment, as that was in fact a Meredith Monk composition. The Coen brothers used her music for that sequence.

[@NealX_Gaming]

If that was Turtle Dreams I'd hate to see Turtle Nightmares.

[@mightychicken7774]

Turtle Dreams? More like Fever Dreams...

[@RDV333]

It's a good piece, very vocally demanding and interesting. Meredith Monk makes pretty good music. The video, however, is horrible.

[@JustinSmith1973]

After hearing some of it I'm thinking it was more like Turtle Wet Dreams.

[@eclecticanimation5497]

Nothing like a crisp new 7eleven hat, right Rich?

[@v.k.storytellers1031]

They think they are performing a spell. The Black and White is a witchcraft thing. It means the two extremes of morality and all things in between are just a means to get to one or the other extreme.

[@skeevy_nyx]

What really bothers me about watching "Turtle Dreams" is that Meredith Monk was able to rope three other people into doing this with her. I'm lucky if I get three friends to like my art in Instagram.

[@jondorr4011]

I know right? I can't even get two friends to help me move.

[@Biggiiful]

@@jondorr4011 tell me about it. I can't even get 1 friend to shoot me.

[@koholos]

Yes, but you’re not making millions on money laundering through prententious modern art like most of these people are.

[@tiberseptim37]

That’s because the most important skill for any artist is salesmanship. Art only has as much value as we attribute to it. You have to convince an audience to see value where there may be none. That’s why most (all?) avant-garde performers are unapologetic con artists.

[@HempKnight2112]

She got a presidential medal from Obama...

[@Umbrellify]

had to scroll down while the old people footage was on screen, so i didn't feel like i was participating in mike's weird fetish

[@DarkEggplant]

“The only thing I know is I don’t want Massaging the elderly.” That’s massagonistic, Rich.

[@Asparaesque]

*slide whistle* Also, quality taste in best girls.

[@AscendantStoic]

Wouldn't it be more like massagophobic XD

[@luckyspurs]

Unfortunately for Rich, Mike's massagechistic.

[@Joyfk]

@@Asparaesque Ritsu 😳

[@voodoodad9606]

My theory regarding Turtle Dreams: This is what happens to people after they're captured by the Blair Witch. The producers of the movie (wisely) decided not to include it in the movies because they found it "too terrifying."

[@jorgamund07]

11:37 When Mike is 70 years old, tottering around his front yard, the gang is going to throw him a princess party and surprise the hell out of him. "But Mike, don't you remember that one time you said that thing?"

[@joinsideke]

Followed by a massage, I presume.

[@lilwyvern4]

This, of course, is under the assumption that his liver doesn't fail before he reaches 70.

[@benra4794]

They’ll show him the clip, all cued up on a projector

[@Modzorz]

And he won't. Because of the alzheimers.

[@TrivialTales]

Isn't Mike already 70 years old?

[@Amy_Dunn]

Turtle Dreams being specifically for TV in the 80's means there is a high likelihood that someone high as a kite accidentally watched it at 3am and lost their goddamn mind.

[@ThatOneGuy0006]

That may have been the intention, like a pretentious version of the Adult Swim infomercials.

[@floydlooney6837]

That should have been enough to end public television all by itself.

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

@@floydlooney6837 They only used it to test that the station was actually broadcasting. Once they verified that, they turned it off and put it in a meat locker until they needed it again.

[@nlabonte]

"When I was working on [Turtle Dreams] I didn't realise... There's a flatness... and maybe a kind of narcissism too." -Meredith Monk

[@nobodyimportant2911]

You forgot to mention it feels vaguely fascist to her now

[@davestier6247]

@@nobodyimportant2911 Am I a fascist for pointing out that you spelled vaguely wrong?

[@mikebliss3153]

That's hilarious.

[@irwinisidro]

So she admits later on it was BS?

[@DarkorthAurelius]

@@davestier6247 You are some sort of grammar national socialist

[@ecmelton8633]

In Turtle Dreams, the turtle leaving the swamp to go on an adventure in the city is basically the plot of The Muppet Movie, but with a frog.

[@placeboforte4916]

I like to imagine Meredith Monk is an avid fan of redlettermedia and when she saw Turtle Dreams on the wheel she just froze and stared in disbelief

[@pkmovies92]

I kind of feel sorry for her. They judged her and her art that she may be proud of. She's still active and I'm sure she will watch this one day.

[@Tekshipie]

11:53 I was incredibly disappointed this didn't fade back into the discussion table kitted out like a princess party.

[@kaitlin9288]

Knowing them, they would cut out three pastel stars and haphazardly throw one packet of tinsel around and call it a day

[@stefan1024]

It would have been beautiful tho.

[@Adammonroemusic]

"Twitter is what separates us from the animals." Uhhhhhh no Mike. The sweet laughter of internet sensation and teen heartthrob Rich Evans is what separates us from the animals.

[@reservoirfrogs2177]

Correction, Rich's beauty is what turns us back to our primal nature

[@GdotHost]

35:27 "Dolphins are famously rapey." Hahaha, oh my god. It's true, but the phrasing combined with Rich's super confident delivery made this line extra funny to me. Thanks for the video.