Best Tweets of All Time Tier List

[@damons.creations]

Fun Fact: Despite his name, Squidward actually is an octopus. SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenberg said that it was just easier to animate him with fewer tentacles. I killed Stephen Hillenberg with my own hands, I still remember the screams

[@atmbcito]

wtf :(

[@mickeymcintyre6156]

Holesome🤗

[@juma4247]

ohh 😯

[@bv7226]

Rip spongebob show man

[@bigaidan5375]

nerd

[@owencharles6636]

Great video. Chemistry is off the chain. You guys are my favourite channel to watch while I eat food. I did not commit several vehicular manslaughters in 1978 in central Massachusetts

[@themartiniplc3381]

neither did i! thats so crazy

[@jwbartel6]

1979 however...

[@carbonmarshall1491]

Classic bait and switch

[@ejxsb2618]

Are they from central mass

[@juanfilipwinifred]

And I definitely didn’t commit tax evasion and insurance fraud several times in southern Idaho in 1986

[@echologic3918]

It's good to see Dignan laugh and be himself again. Those antipsychotic drugs must be working well.

[@tomcostello4562]

LMAOO

[@Sara-ip8dr]

I’m dead

[@Polo-zz5oc]

dignan hasn’t been in a video in a few days. heard he’s in a institute atm

[@echologic3918]

@@Polo-zz5oc so is this... an.. impostor 😳😳😳😳😳😳

[@chunkycrab7308]

@@echologic3918 it’s graydon, duh…

[@afeghali21]

Amazing video guys. Had me crying laughing. The baby is not mine I was coerced into drugging that elderly woman in the famous "xanny granny" case of 1991

[@napster222]

@Cam can confirm, I was the wife

[@eevilmann30285]

😳

[@gabrielurrutia8067]

@@napster222 can also confirm, I was the Xanax

[@deaddegenerategeneration7441]

Bruh

[@centerofmotivation1904]

You what now?

[@artpluggg]

i was laughing quite a bit during this one. really solid video guys i like the content. i hope you keep making videos. i am wanted for tax evasion in 37 countries and have 12 international arrest warrants.

[@leadnitrate2194]

No you're not, you silly goof. Anyway, come home soon, auntie's getting worried

[@jbbeats7786]

9:08

[@andremartinez4411]

Central Park, next to the fountain under the tree. I buried 2 girls there in 1993.

[@iaintookthatbb6599]

hope youre doing good!

[@WrighteousVR]

I read this before the video started but now it makes a lot more sense

[@xmsjd]

I think this is probably one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in quite a while. Hivemind never fails to make me laugh. Probably the best duo comedy-wise on KZbin. The Syrian government has captured my family and is holding them hostage if I do not commit mass acts of domestic terrorism on the date July 23rd, 2022, in the states of Michigan, Oregon, New Mexico and Ohio.

[@GilbertRothschild]

Seems like a good deal

[@centerofmotivation1904]

Yup, and now you're on a watch list, great job queen Elizabeth

[@jayvader9023]

L syria

[@iliilianaana]

you'd have to apply for u.s citizenship for it to be domestic terrorism

[@xmsjd]

Rules don’t apply to me

[@olliet8033]

The barf bit always makes me cry laughing. Idk why it’s so funny. Love this channel hope you guys keep growing. I did not steal Michael Jackson’s nose in 1785 it was Eminem

[@atmbcito]

@nah It was a skit haha

[@Justanuggy]

​​@@nah6351real, I was the nose

[@zeusbutapig4760]

Giving keemstar a F and a S is like Fantano giving Cudi a 0 and a 10

[@sokusoku1607]

Relatable Anthony moment

[@instagramsucks7014]

Duality of man

[@mickeydix8062]

it really isn't like that at all

[@insane5769]

@@mickeydix8062 tell me one way it's not like that

[@phatmachismo6709]

The funniest tweet of all time is without question: "I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th." - Donald Trump

[@bartsimpson274]

Or his free A$AP tweet

[@KotaWebb]

@@bartsimpson274 free asap tweet was so damn goated

[@buffmywifi3839]

so cold

[@EmmyLynn0831]

@@KotaWebb”get home ASAP, A$AP” 💀💀

[@gracerich55]

@@EmmyLynn0831HELP

[@PondOfGlue]

My personal favorite is: “Me and my friends would've killed E.T. with hammers I can tell you that much.” It DESTROYS me every time.

[@PondOfGlue]

Oh HELL yeah. Just got to 32:48 in the video. I can see y’all have excellent taste 😙🤌

[@snoun7933]

Love the video! The way you guys bounce jokes off eachother is amazing. In 2003, my father committed a murder-suicide and took the lives of my whole family, leaving me orphaned. Since then, I have been on and off prescription drugs and fallen to self-medication.

[@SuperAnge911]

Relatable

[@youlookcute]

Beep bibbidy bop book skkrrt oh yeah let's goo WOOOO

[@napster222]

Dude that’s kinda pog

[@realkraqqen]

Kinda an L bro

[@pilot.wav_theory]

Get therapy get off drugs start working out and find a hobby my friend hope you can turn your shit around

[@bingbosby3222]

“You’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice” is what started that whole trend. Nobody made jokes like that before shrimp fried rice

[@user-gp6lq5mg9z]

maybe one of the most culturally important tweets oat

[@real.pubgmobile]

yeah and it also came from tumblr

[@Yaboi2190]

🦐🍤

[@kaismithley6173]

Kodak black was actually 16 when he made that tweet, it really makes more sense in that context. My father left me at age 5 and I have been struggling with numerous abandonment related issues ever since, I hope to find peace with my own mind one day.

[@Daviancook]

Ratio

[@febbecool]

@@Daviancook wtf is your problem

[@jonathan-si8xd]

ratio

[@idk-_-]

L + ratio + didn’t ask + abandoned

[@kaismithley6173]

@@Daviancook unfortunately it was ineffective, would have been funny though

[@tannerb30]

Grants laugh adds so much to the show

[@fideofideofideo8942]

finally someone said it ur so right

[@markusschafer9572]

I've been a silent viewer for the past couple months (pretty much for 1,5 years). You guys just got randomly recommended to during the early summer of 2020 when i really didnt have to do anythin all day and i just fell in love with you und your concepts. Imo you're one of the most unique channels out there and one of only a few that i incorporated into my daily/weekly routine. Im going through a pretty confusing mental state right now, but everytime i see a notification of a new video it lightens up my day. I just want to let you know that you always manage to put a smile on my face :). Keep uo the good work guys Greetings from germany :)

[@yaboichickenlegs2035]

i was expecting the bait and switch. but this is just wholesome, good on ya. godspeed

[@Luke-yd4xq]

Pretty much the same situation for me, love these guys

[@HIVEMINDTV]

wholesome comment, love right back to ya

[@DiddyBohlen]

Cool to see a fellow German here

[@eunuch3373]

Der YT Algorithmus hat mir den Kanal leider erst heute vorgeschlagen... aber cool zu sehen das man nicht der einzige Deutsche ist der diesen Humor feiert :)

[@abbynufer5296]

So many iconic tweets that i don’t think we could even put them all in a tier list! In 2008 I pushed over the ladder that my abusive father was standing on, directly resulting in his death.

[@magnumplaate]

you go girl!

[@schokostrolch11]

„The National Anthem don’t even slap“ from Vince Staples has to be one of my favorites

[@m0tl]

Guys I think this video was amazing! Some of the jokes were pretty relatable and you had me dying laughing! Whilst you talked about the Ninja tweet, I pissed myself (not asked for) as I scored a double kill bot lane. I tortured several prisoners of war in 1939.

[@craigpegasus]

How’s YOUR day going? ☕️

[@amdacool1101]

I was gonna like but the number was on 69

[@pastapocha5708]

this might be the funniest one

[@jimmyhulton9374]

This was honestly one of the best episodes I’ve seen yet, and was definitely worth the 45 minute watch time. I’m skipping bail right now on a felony treason charge.

[@kurpoof-]

CIS TEEN WAS RILEY?!! I just recently discovered Hivemind and have been binge watching the entire channel the past 2 weeks..but this tweet has been THEE definition of "living rent free in my head". Legendary. Ok. Subbing to patreon now ✌️

[@CaliZephyr]

Uhh seems you forgot to confess to your many crimes?

[@Svarhus]

I enjoyed this one quite a bit! Keep it up guys. According to the Bible I am “accused” of being a criminal for “getting it on” with a horse back in 1973, but what does this Jesus guy know anyways

[@Daviancook]

Mr hands

[@takejaylor3528]

@@Daviancook iykyk

[@Daviancook]

@@takejaylor3528 yep

[@gotjukez3307]

Classic bait and switch

[@kenmoops7547]

What 😭

[@ryankraushaar5806]

Are we just going to breeze past that weezer - undone (the sweater song) reference. It was so well executed. Almost as well executed as my august 19, 2017 bank heist.

[@Leadbraw]

this was a pretty cool vid guys! I especially liked the avant-garde twist where every single tweet ranked was actually written by dignan

[@Swisha35]

Such a cool comment Leadbraw! The homophobia wasn't necessary but very cool aside from that.

[@isaackinsella5724]

@@Swisha35 I think the homophobia added much needed context to his comment. Keep it up leadbraw

[@apmurks5932]

Wait wtf yo

[@Leadbraw]

@@apmurks5932 YO LMAO whats good

[@apmurks5932]

@@Leadbraw not much, been a while how you been

[@tecticeditz5549]

I really hope you guys get 1 million soon! I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

[@kaismithley6173]

this one deserves special recognition

[@amdacool1101]

Get this to 69 likes

[@vsgaming5933]

@@amdacool1101 it has been done

[@amdacool1101]

Thank you all for getting us here, curse whoever ruins this

[@tecticeditz5549]

@@amdacool1101 nice work men

[@bunnyyhopper]

My favorite tweet is when Kanye said "everyone knows the movie get out is about me"

[@harleymckinley1181]

couldnt contain the laughter during this video, great stuff guys. my father is currently in crippling debt and is facing legal battles for driving over the speed limit.

[@AvianIota]

GOD i love smoking away my braincells watching hivemind for 42 minutes and 8 seconds, they always keep it nifty

[@xxxxxmlgswegatronxxxxxxxop6451]

Yoooo, facts.

[@aaronius4444]

You lucky. I have to stay on edge at my house and anticipate things while watching hive mind.

[@Persiyan]

@@aaronius4444 see except I oforeoir bc froc t dry d

[@serixskylark]

God, your guys’ chemistry is just great. Really made me chuckle at some of these wacky and zany tweets! I buried the bodies behind a campsite bathroom in the wilderness of Northeastern Iowa.

[@parmasean_eater]

I literally gasped I live in northeastern Iowa

[@serixskylark]

@@parmasean_eater let me know if you ever find them! :)

[@daneking3235]

“I rather serve crack then serve my country” is still the one I quote everyday

[@JK-gm6kk]

Free health insurance tho

[@mywaterco0lerromance]

@@JK-gm6kklast time i checked, the military didn’t do shit for veterans with ptsd

[@kryptik2602]

I’m nice at ping pong.

[@andrewwiggins1224]

Great video! Your guys videos really get me through the day and your chemistry is amazing!! The body is located 12 miles north of Tulsa in a large black plastic bag

[@kewloaf3587]

this was hilarious guys lol! keep up the great content, it always makes my day. I was at the Destin Family Golf Course from 1 PM to 6 PM on March 18th, 1989. There is no absolute proof of me having any relation to the woman found in the nearby creek.

[@normharr]

Love all of your content! It just seems to be getting better and better, just like I’m getting better and better at avoiding the NYPD

[@notkason8066]

great video the chemistry is off the chain, i did not commit several vehicle manslaughters in 1978 in central Massachusetts

[@austin5944]

Yeah but I did

[@williambgaming]

A bit late to this video, but it's phenomenal. I love all the tweets that were sent in. You guys earned a new subscriber. You don't hear the screams. They are an illusion. You don't hear them. They are an illusion. What was it? 1994? Some day in October. The screams started. They have driven me a bit insane, but hey, the rent is cheap so what do i care? They got a bit louder in 2000. Then... you came in the picture. You know the screams aren't real, and yet, you still need that confirmation. I don't have a basement. Nothing bad has happened to me. Why do you have to worry so much? They are an illusion.

[@jenconvertibles]

are you all good william?

[@williambgaming]

@@jenconvertibles anguish everywhere

[@extraterrestrial8888]

Yayvideogames type beat

[@Rehabswag]

DAMN bro is a professional yapper

[@salvadoremery3238]

Another hilarious video! Makes me laugh almost as hard as when I witnessed the hat man busting down sexual style in the corner of my room.

[@gavinosullivan2268]

Is he hosted with the sauce?

[@frostlze7104]

Just found this channel and this is hilarious. Can't wait to watch more. I am wanted in several states for crimes stemming from a week-long cocaine bender in September 2004.

[@luna6315]

THE CIS TEEN CHAPEL WAS YOU?

[@c0ast221]

Great video the chemistry is off the chain you guys are my favorite channel to watch while I eat food. Also I did not commit several vehicular manslaughters in 1978 in Central Massachusetts

[@Domestic_Abuse]

Dumpy

[@hex0578]

This is genuinely one of the most rewatchable videos on youtube. I've probably watched it dozens of times and it still kills me, rileys delivery and the way they so effortlessly build on each other's bits. Hivemind is criminally underrated

[@ScirioBirdLover]

Fr the world needs more people like you two, yall are so funny. There is a skinless body of a Mexican politician buried at my garden

[@shinyken2013]

i was thinking back to when you guys first started making videos on hivemind and how far youve come now, the editing and production has gotten so much better. I honestly think the voices are lying about the bugs crawling in my skin but sometimes i can almost feel them and i cant help but just scrape away my skin with a butterknife.

[@pulledporkparkattendee1]

Love the vids guys. Never fail to make me laugh, and always brighten my day. I hit a raccoon going 16.37 mph on my sister’s birthday while listening to stop breathing by little uzi vert. I pissed on the raccoon.

[@EvanBeatz]

You’re a hero, fuck raccoons 🖕

[@amdacool1101]

Legend

[@swed4490]

Yes it died

[@MyNameJefff]

This channel is pretty cool. I really like the vibes of these two homies and their crew. The camera guy laughing is a pretty good addition. I caused an avalanche one day and 17 people were never found.

[@connorwalls.]

This one was a quality video, laughed almost the entire time, keep it up! I did not bury a man in DeKaulb county Georgia in 2007.

[@Woofle22]

Absolutely love the content, you guys are killing it! I can still hear their screams.

[@dudeofthecentury1]

love the way dignan’s smile brightens up the set! the voices keep me up at night.

[@mileskillian04]

I love how far these guys take bits. It makes it really funny, them building off of each other to make the joke funnier and funnier 🤣. The torture prisoners at guantanamo bay endure is so crushing that the mental state is destroyed and they will admit to things they couldn't have possibly done.

[@vulcan930]

Why was the 40 minute video worth it lmao I was literally crying the whole time

[@laramayone]

I only found you guys last night and already you're one of my fave channels for the great energy you have together, I laughed so much throughout this video, not because of the tweets but because of you two interacting and I didnt technically kill anyone, I was found not liable in court and I don't want to hear any more of it, the screams each night are enough

[@efipx]

One of my favourite videos yet from you guys. The chemistry is nuts. Your honor, any evidence that I was in the vicinity of that women found in a Wisconsin deep frier on November 3rd, 1989 is exempt as I was the getaway driver for an international high profile robbery in Munich, Germany between the hours of 9AM - 10PM PST.

[@jemmaisntcool]

my absolute favourite tweet of all time is 100% "I'm at yo BM crib throwin M&M's at yo kid head full speed"

[@katelyncalvo]

“in this world, you either crank that Soulja boy or it cranks you” and “I lowkey don’t fuck with that bitch stormi” have to be my favorites of all time. like I think about Kanye tweeting about his niece who is a literal toddler and thinking it was a good idea to share this hot take with the world for forever

[@kylemoder7550]

Im surprised there's no Drill, you could probably make a teirlist this big with just drill tweets. Another favorite is the guy who let a vet pee before him and someone replyed with "And then I took a picture of him peeing. As a little treat for me."

[@ThunderSpecial]

New entry: The eminem minions rock n roll hall of fame tweet

[@locustmember]

Very clever video you two! I would say I laughed pretty hard during this one looking at these tweets. Amazing video, hope to see a video like this again soon and I was not convicted for 83 counts of vehicular manslaughter in the state of new jersey in 2018.

[@Ethan_Labbe]

I hope they don’t include my tweet from 2007 when Riley put a gun up to my head and made me tweet “ANTIFA is the second coming of Jesus” that lead to me getting canceled 12 years later. He also made me tweet “Riley from hivemind deserves to be atleast spot #17 on ESPN top 50 plays of the month”.

[@claws811]

at least 15 stop being humble

[@user-pv7vc9kp9k]

. Cocaine

[@dawsunn8033]

Yall this seriously made my day, I was trying to get my car out of my parking spot for an hour cause of the ice, the key got stuck, and battery died, it's all figured out now, but this made me feel so much better!

[@jonahhutchinson6182]

Haha the metro boomin tweet is even better after the new album lmao

[@amicitiaishere]

this video is one of the funniest things i’ve seen in a while, u guys are awesome. love the chemistry and jokes. in 2019, i became a suspect of mass murder mostly via overdose because i pushed several pounds of cocaine laced with fentanyl. i am now currently on the run from the government and they haven’t found me yet.

[@tristanwahlin8571]

Great video. It’s crazy to see two distinguished gentleman cracking such great comedy. Kind of reminds me of how I did not steal soup from my work and then burn my thumb on the pour leading to me killing my boss over the fact that he charged me for the soup since I got caught after yelping about the burn

[@lucabero6818]

Man this was so funny. I love this channel. This channel is the best channel to commit several acts of vehicular manslaughter in rural Arkansas last week to.

[@pop-sigil4483]

This is one of my favorite videos on the website. The chemistry in this one is crazy. In 2004 I killed a man with a wrench in rural nevada because I wanted to feel like god. The one problem I have is that youre placing a shrimp fried this rice so low. I think its one of the few jokes that I laugh a little bit most times I hear it.

[@doublekup]

this video is a real chuckler. love you guys. much love and support from a random syrian deaf children’s institute

[@codyladson]

Please do a part two sometime! I loved this

[@godspeedyouyoungstreetsoldier]

got a Tom MacDonald ad before the video... so inspiring to see you guys and your hero platformed the same ♥️♥️ you all have so much in common

[@joedyisonfire4903]

This video was so entertaining, I didn’t even realize it was 42 minutes long. I wish it was longer. The silence is deafening and if I dare breathe, they will come for me.

[@ceeth3jay]

i just came across this account today and ive been watching these videos ever since. honestly made my day. keep it up! i did not commit aggrivated assault in 2012 against John Birch, 46, father of two.

[@2shy2guy52]

“I support breast cancer” is my favorite stupid word joke. I have this breast cancer awareness ds and it always reminds me of it. On November 22nd 1963 at roughly 12:30 local time President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated by the CIA while riding in a motorcade in Dallas, Texas.

[@-alovelygaycat-]

I love that most of the comments are people listing crimes they committed and your’s is just a famous assassination. Unless you are somehow the entirety of the CIA.

[@trishaagz]

I missed these longer videos, glad to see this!

[@chasetaylor8092]

They should do a who tweeted it video with just a bunch of random civilians that aren’t famous

[@supercoolhandle77]

Great video, love to see it. I was at my mother’s house on the night of November 16th in 1997, but don’t ask her where I was.

[@daysdissolvetwo]

I love the video guys. The energy y'all have is off the chain. Keep up the amazing work! I did not murder those four men in Volgograd, Russia on October 15th 2009.

[@vrmooo]

Love the vids guys! Been watching for ages and you guys nail quality and quantity perfectly! I once killed a man in 1997 in a car accident in Philadelphia after running a red light and was never caught as I drove my Chevy Escalade cross-country and never entered the state again.

[@caydengygi1008]

Love the content guys, your videos never fail to make my laugh. Keep up the good work! She took the kids and I will never recover.

[@j4yexe]

I actually like this video a lot, y'all are funny as hell. There are 82 arrest warrants for me pissing in the park.

[@noahmiguel]

This video was hilarious, you guys have amazing chemistry I look forward to more videos, I just ingested a large amount of someone elses medication.

[@n.c.3011]

Loved this video! Bjonk and the Hat Man made a song together about breast cancer awareness, however, the name was messed up leading to 'We Support Breast Cancer'. Unfortunately, the Hat Man ran over his family on his truck (yes they died).

[@DDIannacone]

i really like the hats in this video, the color dichotomy really just complements the comedy. i gave rosemary kennedy that lobotomy

[@sadmermaid]

can I have one uwu?

[@MrMurph]

It’s so strange to watch a whole video trying to find anything the hosts say funny, and then look at these comments and start cracking up laughing. Keep up the work guys. Just like the work done by the Mormon pigeons; they saw my wretched deeds during the 1973 Swine-Laxitive event. I no longer can enter the state of Utah out of fear of the locals.

[@lauriermanseau-girard8852]

I think I know every word spoken in this video by heart

[@oliverdessewffy]

Unfortunately i think i do too

[@bornhotdogman1777]

great video, the chemistry is off the chain. You guys are my favourite channel to watch while i eat food. I did NOT commit several vehicular manslaughters in 1978 in central Massachusetts

[@zacharywranovsky]

“One day time will die, and love will bury it” is an unironically poetic line. I had no involvement in the bodies of missing persons that showed up in the Brule River in August of 2021.

[@definitelydoctorproctor]

These videos are so good, I always watch them to pass the time when the man inside my walls starts screaming again.

[@randomgarbage8023]

I fully agree with how you ranked the tweets! This channel is one of my favorites. I did not kill a man in Yellowstone Park in 1989 just to feel something.

[@pusmonkyy6966]

crazy

[@chrishansen8119]

One of my favorite things about the hive mind comment section, is that there is probably a few people who are actually confessing to terrible crimes I’m wanted in 8 countries for high treason

[@scalivevo4111]

Awesome video! I watched this one after dinner with my kids. We love your videos a lot and watch all of them together. I did not burn down a chain of Burger Kings in Medicine Hat Alberta in 2002.

[@tacocat7822]

You guys make me laugh so much I like putting you guys in the background while I clean. I did not eat 17 babies in Still Pond Maryland on May 9th 2003

[@th3on3thatb3atu]

Wow just stumbled on this channel. Really funny and entertaining stuff! Gonna sub! I have a whole closet of skins

[@rensenwaremp3]

this video is so old but this is killing me. the skrillex tweet is layered in that he was the lead vocalist for an extremely popular screamo band that headlined warped tour for a while, from first to last. he retired from that because it was blowing his vocal cords out and then came back as skrillex literally barely a year later. so the tweet was much more likely to be based in people discovering this connection lol

[@emilyb3480]

Fantastic Video ! Was laughing so much, thank you for making my day! By the way, Mary if you see this no i did NOT commit arson back in 1976. I already told you i was in Utah that weekend

[@dylan1766]

one of the funniest videos i’ve seen this year, please make another one

[@h2hydro]

Some of these tweets are so memorable, its fantastic to see them again. it was me that had prepared an ungodly amount of underground explosives during the 2009 L'Aquila earthquake in Italy, no one was safe not even the children.

[@bunsenn5064]

“The yellow man” had me absolutely dying, because concentrated sodium hydroxide is a much more efficient method of corpse disposal than strong acid.

[@YouTubeaccoubr]

Making a greatest tweets of all time and NOT including "in the stripped club, straight up jorkin it. And by it, well lets jusr say. My peenits." Is a disgrace

[@YouTubeaccoubr]

OR the "she bited my peenis owweweeeeeowowoeeeeeeow

[@francescajarvis1836]

I loved this idea for a video! This content is so entertaining! I didn't commit arson in 12 countries between the years of 1997-2003.

[@callmecj2329]

Dope video. Jokes were bangers. You guys are my favourite channel to watch while I lay down. I did not commit several arson based crimes in 1982 in Detroit

[@geckogeico2212]

Yeah cause you weren't alive then

[@haydenabernathy3509]

I stumbled upon this account one day and I’ve loved every single video from you. Speaking of which I have to get back to fleeing the Slovakian national law enforcement

[@cameronnephew3680]

I love the videos I *actually* laugh out loud watching these 😹 if only the voices would go away

[@mikeynobiggie3829]

this was a really funny one, great vid guys also i was on the island multiple times through 2014-2019