Bill Burr - Trip to the Bank [hilarious]

Hilarious and funny comedian Bill Burr with another topic on his podcast called the Monday Morning Podcast.
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[@MorganMango]

'So I meditated for the first time' ... best segway ever.

[@barrymorgan5104]

Can you imagine the chef at a restaurant telling you to help cook "because it will be faster that way"?

[@tisaroo555]

Not a perfect analogy, Barry. What if some of the ingrediants had to come from the customer. It is the grey area in all of this that bad customer service happens, I hope you agree with me, and that is where bad customer service people say stuff like 'I am only try to help you!'. I agree with you and Bill that they should do everything they can do, on their own, to get their job done.

[@JargonMadjin]

@@tisaroo555 If you're paying the chef to cook you something I expect them to do their job

[@heroblok6]

"He didn't even say PLEASE!!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@unacceptablebilly1689]

Best rant ever!

[@merrick8000]

"building housing bubbles or whatever. . ." hahahaha GOAT, BILL

[@DylanSunkel]

I have a feeling this is exactly how he talks to himself when no one is around and there isn't a podcast. *mutters* "I don't know! I don't know."

[@sudoggs7178]

Easiest way to resolve the situation. "It's against my religion to read those numbers."

[@MoreThanYouTimesTwo]

All I can say is I'm glad to know you FINALLY know your place in society Bill! Too funny, stay healthy, we need you!

[@saiyandna2368]

If I was the guy at the bank and bill made it clear he didn't want to read the words I would've just grabbed the laptop and done what he wanted me to do and got him out of there quickly as possible because getting the customer out of the store as happily and quickly as possible is always the number one goal while at your job regardless of what your job is

[@stimpsonsutube]

Especially the fact that he said to Bill “I don’t understand why you got upset there”. That right there is horrible customer service if you notice that you’re customer is getting irritated you should either keep quiet and try to do as best a job as possible or apologize and try to do as best a job as possible

[@klaus2913]

@@stimpsonsutube Depends on the situation. You do not need to be quiet or apologize to certain customers, but in this situation the guy was just plain disrespectful.

[@dougg532]

UI’m susususyou I’m just susususyssjust sjust sususulol

[@randyranderson690]

Any story that has Bill and a laptop involved is pure gold. Also, having worked at The Bank of New York, I know for a fact, everyone has a minimum of 5 post-it pads in their desk and I would have grabbed a post-it, written the numbers down and then done the work. I even have a bowl of candy on my desk for clients to nosh on while I work. I wonder if my clients miss me. lol Edit: We need to bring back customer service ethics. People, raise your kids to have both good work and customer service ethics. Fuck mgmt, keeping the customer coming back and happy keeps a business going not some poser in a tie.

[@musicloverme3993]

Mgmt should want that too!

[@andresroca3988]

"She's a way happier person, on paper on paper" great quote

[@huntmine2343]

Alternative title: Bill Burr becomes Joe Pesci for 10 minutes

[@malcolmwaters3837]

”Did you just fucking exhale?!”

[@friendsoftheamazonjungle]

Lil touchy little B aren't ya Mr. Bill

[@archizalez]

If there is an award for podcast this should win it

[@sojournerkarunatruth4406]

Bill is my spirit animal.

[@quietsilence3327]

This is why I love comedy.

[@witwct3]

Did you just fucking exhale?! Lol

[@uncledarren4262]

That switch you have that you DON'T say that tp him real life... my switch is stuck the other way. It feels good to watch them fuckin hop to and do their jpbs for once!!!

[@charleshall2111]

you're absolutely right and were right by calling him out. 90% of people nowadays don't have the balls to even call people out in any transaction. instead, they'll comply because they don't want any confrontation. Then bitch about it later. "Later" usually sounds like your rant, without the satisfaction of not reading the numbers. So, kudos to you for calling people out.

[@flippinsteel2352]

YES!

[@royalsego]

I felt it in my soul

[@luisaleman3732]

Should have told him "I'm sorry they fired the mayonnaise guy".

[@drmojo5439]

This is the funniest MMP clip I've heard to date.

[@mulemule]

8:23 "... The big red flag is the level of *shopping* that they do. And the amount of *sh^t* that they buy. ... There's a &%#@ unhappiness there; there's something *psychotic* going on with just the sheer amount of clothes and sh^t that they buy and just stuff that they &%#@ buy. *Um, I don't see tranquility in it."* 😂

[@sbs2047]

This stuff really only happens at the banks. I mean imagine going to a restaurant, and the staff says, 'hey help us cook the meal and wash some dishes, it'll be quicker this way.' Yeah, no.

[@blop-a-blop9419]

You seem to not have seen his stand-up bit where he mentions the guy at Subway who tells him to put himself the mayonnaise on the sandwich ^^''

[@blop-a-blop9419]

Also, in a lot of places now, you have to do things half yourself on the internet, so that it makes it easier for them to gather information and administrate files, as well as not needing to hire as many secretaries... My mom always complains that to buy a train ticket you have to go on the ticket machine by yourself, or on the internet, rather than talking to a human being whose job it is to know and do everything needed...

[@cshubs]

Bill needs a credit union. :-)

[@blop-a-blop9419]

Where you train slitting some throats from time to time

[@alandonaly457]

I love this s**t I am so glad I got to hear it.

[@jerryschramm4399]

Good for you Bill!

[@Arthur-Silva]

Ol’ Billy needs a chill pill urgently 😂 a dr. Prescribed chill pill.

[@quill1260]

Or people should take more pride in their work. I happen to agree with him.

[@newjojosupercutsandmore2489]

takes me back to his sandwich bit 🤣🤣

[@rxtp17]

Bill.... just read the kid the fucking numbers.

[@isabellesender]

You're f*ckin right....

[@adamsaldana5462]

Great rant. I would have felt the same way. When I need a wire, I send the wiring information, the banker girl sends the money, it should be that simple I would have asked for management.

[@Peter-gi3re]

There are so many hidden gems in this. Now I know why I get so mad at other peoples bullshit ….. I have expectations…… and I am constantly disappointed on this level. Because so many people suck at their job and don’t give a shit. 😂

[@territorialamcape2726]

Hahahahaha fucking love bill Burr!

[@huare7946]

That bank rant hits different since they sent us into another recession again😫

[@SpeakerKevin]

The banker should have called an associate to read off the numbers for you.

[@Darksephir985]

It's not unreasonable to expect that someone servicing a customer should at least make an effort to do their job.

[@NaNa-wj8tw]

You remind me of Bill at CuriousCars. The two of you together would be hilarious.

[@indiegemsthatjam3986]

One time BOA charged me a late fee on a credit card after they switched the due date ahead of an established auto-pay arrangement ... I called up - asked for the fraud department, then reported the theft details (with all the Bill Burr rant I could muster). They returned the loot , but these days would prob drum up extra fees for the complaint.

[@ponedog]

NGL Bill Karened this a little.

[@janewildly]

🤣🤣🤣 i work at the bank & if he flipped out like this, I would’ve laughed but then again I wouldn’t make people re-read stuff to me

[@minkeyshines7948]

Reminds me of the movie "Michael" where he levels the bank...

[@susnjar95]

I understand his temper

[@66realdeal]

Do not apologize! F*** that guy!🏆🏆🏆

[@johnsalaman503]

You're right bill....customer service is non existent,doesn't matter what business you patronize..i shake my head in disbelief just about every where I go.

[@quill1260]

Bullshit John. It's pretty freaking rare these days, but it does still exist. It is EXTREMELY rare, to your point, but dang-it it does exist.

[@darthkek1953]

This is Bill's "do you know who I am?" moment.

[@ExternusArmy]

This was like a ‘do you know who you are?’ moment. Had to remind the bank teller he does in fact work for the bank and Bill does not.

[@BlazRa]

It's not childish what you're saying is fucking true there is such a thing as righteous anger that's when you have a right to be angry about something because it's fucked up

[@uhfnutbar1]

lol

[@OssyTK]

Is he listening to father Anthony de Mello?That "expectation"shit is straight out of his books.

[@Roust7]

It is everything is like this now. Self service check out at store, furniture you buy then put together, etc

[@thothasterianinfinitelovet2765]

Lol Billy Ball buster from a fellow ginger what I would have done at the bank of stank is lie an say i don't have my glasses an I have faith in your ability to get this done your the pro whom works here ya got this ! If not sure. We can call over ya management

[@thothasterianinfinitelovet2765]

And sir teller for security purposes my info should not be read aloud

[@tylermorrison420]

Bill, I feel the same way and I do the exact same shit and im 22

[@BrendanGFoster]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@bigfootisreal_]

The thing is that Bill is not angry and upset all the time, he openly tell the things that most people keep to themselves XD. I had a similar experience at the bank as well where the dude wanted me to read out the numbers out to him. I just handed it to him and told him it's ok take an extra couple of min I got time. But inside I was just as furious as Bill. I wanted to lash at the dude and be like do your fucking job, it'll barely make any difference whether I read it you or not, are you speedrunning or some shit?

[@martinwalsh4820]

You tell I’m bill

[@musicguy9299]

Anyone who thinks that their bank is their friend.....well....you know, so does Billy.

[@willymaykit1482]

I would have flipped out. I can't keep calm in situations like that.

[@stimpsonsutube]

Especially the way he came back for more and said to Bill “I don’t understand why you got upset” that moment most people would’ve flew off the handle

[@uppairkk1811]

Do what I do I just say I'm dyslexic

[@etiennepace9340]

Hilarious but childish as hell. The guy at the bank has no fault at what the banks do and you are right on that but the guy has a normal job and probably gets too much shit thrown at him on a daily basis. At least bill keeps us entertained hehe.

[@1895G]

You have to say those numbers, make sure about this and that, sign here and there, now they generate a code that is good only for 10 minutes so you can download an app so you can have access from your phone for the details about your money. You wait 2 fucking days for it to work if you get some money for security reasons so it can be all safe ... then you pay for something and the next second you look at the card you see that you paid 50€ not 1€ on another continent that you haven't even put a foot on ... without codes without 2 days waiting ... you call them cause you see constant payments from other countryes or even continents, they ask you what have you payed for and tell you that you have to deal with the situation ... like they are not part of it. Or ... you can stay there, complete numbers, close your card, say numbers, generate codes and make a new one ...

[@Bappington]

I got mad just thinking about dealing with that banker.

[@theswampkid1219]

Shoulda said move over because I find faster when I type it myself. Go grab me a coffee ☕️

[@ryanmd615]

This kind of attitude is missing in my life

[@Homeschoolsw6]

5:55

[@Ben-bg2lp]

Ol' Billie capitalist republican Burr.

[@dlovink6655]

😭REEEEEEeeeeeeee

[@Scribz1987]

I closed a bank account because they tried to make me roll my coins in sleeves to cash it in

[@KelkohTV]

I probably would of just read it off and not thought about it, but I'd never ask a customer to do that for me. Weird to delegate your responsibilities to a customer. That's like telling your boss they're your assistant.

[@stevephillips729]

I just got done working at a bank and sounds like the guy was just being lazy. Im 19 and even i would just grab the laptop if they told me i could

[@AJ-ox8xy]

I'm 24 and I find this absolutely hilarious. Ya we can be a little needy today. It's because we grew up in convince and safety.

[@archizalez]

Yeah. Now is our fault. Bill would say

[@Obi-ThreeKenobi]

But Bill uses the self checkout...

[@adcantu11]

I take peoples card numbers for a living and i hate it... its so much easier when they read them off and its expected for courtesy

[@morbidmanmusic]

That is different.

[@vinzklortho3013]

How old was the person at the bank?

[@zachwerner7157]

27 he said

[@metronorthwtrain1452]

Should've said wtf dude can't you read and type at the same time? First day on a computer? I would have lost my shit too.

[@mentalmetalist]

Maybe just keep a little money in the bank. Get a massive safe and convert some wealth into gold and silver.

[@dostma1]

They have your money so they can became arrogant.

[@isaaccraig3666]

Should see what banks are like in Australia Apparently it's a golden privilege to be allowed to bank in an Australian bank lol They take your $$$ then treat you like shit Bank of Queensland is the worst of the lot .

[@charlestsai3708]

Ha! A fellow Brizzy

[@bigh7972]

Billy boy I get you are upset. Just wait til next year, you will have to wash his car to get a transaction completed. Seriously, any time you are stressed out breathe a 4, 7, and 8 count. In breath for a four seconds, hold for seven seconds, then breathe out for 8 seconds. Repeat 5 times and watch yourself mellow out.

[@realChewky]

I completely agree with Burr on this one. I hate people like this

[@FreemonSandlewould]

Is HeadSpace paying you Bill? WHY YOU GOING TO INDIANAPOLIS BILL ????

[@richardrussell2765]

Its not what you could have done to defuse the situation and Im just not siding with you cuz your Bill |Burr. He should have taken the time to explain what numbers he needs. If you would like to read them to me then we can try that or better yet let me get someone to help me. Why don't you have a cup of coffiee and let me figure out the best way to take care of you. Its called customer service. A lost art.

[@anthonymarimberga3160]

You're you, there's nothing wrong with that. Well Unless you're destructive toward others and yourself. Then you might want to consider professional help lol

[@Mrgoofyoops]

The dude at the bank was another entitled punk.

[@Kamiwave]

Imma be honest, I wouldn’t want to touch a customers laptop, only because more than likely he’s used it to watch porn, and I don’t want to touch that🤷🏾‍♂️

[@rlst.andrews7625]

People who work in customer service jobs have forgotten who works for you. Next time don’t be so nice. You should have drained your account and told him that you were putting your money in a bank where they understand the customer - employee relation. Don’t be so nice the next time. You should have expectations of people.

[@tisaroo555]

The 'expecations of others' diagnosis sounds spot on. May I suggest that perhaps a bit of shame spiraling on Bill's part seemed to be happening as the kid was 'mansplaining' what the different numbers were he was asking Bill to read off? He was, in Bill's mind, making Bill feel less intelligent or feel like he was being talked down to? Anyways, I thought the people I knew were 'high strung' but they only get wound-up when service people are incompetent. This kid sounded like he was just trying to get the job done quickly.

[@FutureAbe]

I fucking hate that Headspace voice too. Overly calm and fake. I’m much more soothed by a naturally calm voice, like Sam Harris for example

[@kevincraigyates5443]

"I don't work here" same exact thing I say when any store tries to shuffle me to the "self checkout". Next they'll expect us to stock shelves.

[@imperialbengal4068]

I love self-checkout because it’s usually way quicker

[@kevincraigyates5443]

@@imperialbengal4068 it's all in your preference,it may be quicker because the 3 people just standing there to make sure of no theft could operate more registers.

[@user-vg8ox3he1i]

So weird. Most people wouldn't want to hand over their laptop to the bank teller. It's far more secure for everyone to have you read out the information than to be looking at your laptop. What if a notification comes up? What if he needs to scroll to see the next line? He doesn't want to be scrolling through a customer's laptop. It probably would have been different if Bill had it all typed out on a sheet that he could hand over. Yeah, he was totally off with this one.

[@morbidmanmusic]

I hope nobody supports that address base s on that is not him.

[@RMR1]

Funniest guy out there, but he was on the wrong side of this one. The definition of a manufactured outrage. And he wonders why his temper gets him into trouble?

[@robertbentley3589]

Really? So if the scanner was down at the checkout you'd have no problem reading the bar codes to the clerk? Makes no sense.

[@RMR1]

@@robertbentley3589 You honestly don't understand the difference between the two? I'd be really surprised if you didn't. Unless you're like, 12. Then okay, you get a pass.

[@zertiboy]

Dude shouldn't be working at the bank.. sounds like the son of a boss... spoiled white priveledge...

[@RMR1]

And Bill wonders why his temper gets him into trouble. I love the guy -- he's probably my favorite comedian, but Jesus Christ, this is the definition of a manufactured outrage. And what's with the "these kids today"? Farmers were reading numbers from their ledgers to bankers 100 years ago.

[@rlst.andrews7625]

People who work in customer service jobs have forgotten who works for you. Next time don’t be so nice. You should have drained your account and told him that you were putting your money in a bank where they understand the customer - employee relation. Don’t be so nice the next time. You should have expectations of people.