Bimbos in Time #1 - Atop the Fourth Wall

There are so few words that could describe this comic. Here are two: "Utter. Crap."
Originally uploaded November 30th, 2009.
NOTE: The original ending song of this video, "Smoke on the Water," was removed due to a copyright claim.
RUMINATIONS: When you have to do this kind of thing for a living like I do - spending week after week looking at terrible media - you tend to forget about them because they begin to run together. There are only so many dumb comics put out by Maximum Press that all have the exact same premise and characters that actually stand apart from each other, you know?
Not so with Bimbos in Time.
No, Bimbos in Time is one of those special kinds of comics that's so horrible, so completely disconnected from reality and sense, that you will never forget it. Five years later and I can still recall looking at how much I had already scripted for just the first four pages... and then realizing how much comic there still was to go through. Spoony once made a joke in his Highlander: The Source review that fit perfectly with this kind of comic: "I'm sorry, but all I can do is just cut back to me making this shocked face because every single time it's the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life."
My utter confusion about it has changed a little in the intervening years. As was discovered later, it turns out Brad Jones (the Cinema Snob) actually worked (may still work, but don't recall off the top of my head) for the creator of the comic (and the Bimbos movies) on the podcast Radiodrome. Said creator was more than happy to admit that the comic and the movies he made were, for the most part, pretty much garbage and apparently he got a good laugh out of the comic review and the eventual review the Snob and I put together for the movie Bimbos B.C. (a fan had been so "kind" as to donate the film). He's admitted that the comic was, in fact, made with the express intent to make the worst comic ever. If not for the fact that I consider another comic out there to be the worst (I keep the comic's identity a secret for the eventual day it turns up on the show), it's very likely that Bimbos in Time would indeed hold that distinction.
And it's hard to pin down a single thing wrong with it - sure, there's the amateur quality to it, but lots of stuff out there has amateur art and writing while still possessing good idea and concepts, or are just at worst merely average. But Bimbos in Time has nothing like that - it's just bad jokes, zero characterization, and zero to little backstory to establish anything. Hell, even after seeing Bimbos B.C. I still don't know why the women are referred to as "bimbo warriors." Aside from being young, white, and (some) blonde, I don't see any evidence of them being promiscuous, stupid (well, legitimately stupid, not stupid like they are in the comic), or vapid in any regard, as are considered the stereotypical traits associated with "bimbos."
Subsequently, this is also the first appearance of Little Kuriboh of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged fame on the show. We had met during a podcast once, but I was nervous and didn't want to come across as simply promoting my own show and we got into a friendly argument over Ang Lee's 2003 version of the Hulk, so I don't really count it as our first meeting. Instead, I count our first meeting as Youmacon 2009, where I met him in person and got to hang out with him and talk and stuff. We've been closer friends since then, with him kindly lending his voice to the occasional joke on the show and he let me be a shopkeeper in Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged who told a young Marik Ishtar about the "Kill Your Family" show.
Another memorable thing to me with this once was simply the grueling process of making it. This is the one episode of AT4W that I'd happily remake, though not because I was unhappy with how it was written. On the contrary - I actually thought I managed to spin crap into gold with this one, despite the agony of having to come up with new ways of saying "This is horrible" every five minutes, it turned out pretty dang well. Sometimes adversity is what's needed to get creative. No, the problem with this episode is that I filmed it while I was ILL. I don't think the comic is responsible for me being ill, of course, but just I was miserable when I filmed this and I recall having to stop once or twice just to lay on the futon, take in deep breathes for a minute or so, and then resume. And while most people probably can't tell, I can tell, so it's the only one I'd want to refilm and do a better job of it.
All in all, though, it's still one that I'll happily reference in terms of just how awful it is and compare other awful comics to.

[@KairiHawk]

"Why is everyone in this comic a fucking bimbo?!" Thank you for that.

[@nathanielcurtis1003]

KairiHawk the comic call BIMBOS IN TIME YOU CAN TELL FROM THE TITLE ALONE THAT THIS IS A DUMB COMIC WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE COMIC IT'S SELF

[@infinityalbi9840]

KairiHawk 50th like!

[@christopherhale3140]

Just imagine Linkara contacting LittleKuriboh out of the blue and asking him to deliver that line in his Yami voice with no context. That must have been an interesting conversation.

[@dylanthebiguy]

Well at least the male characters are bi- OH MY GOD ARE YA FUCKING KIDDING ME

[@PaxtheDreamer]

"And brave King Arthur, ever faithful to his love Guinevere..." Hah! I didn't realize how funny this joke really was until *years* down the line.

[@neferacronia6798]

The sheer manic look on Linkara's face when he says "It's Miller Time!" is amazing

[@dalime605]

"worst comic ever." then holy terror came out

[@Marelfan]

6:48 I’m only on page 4 this comic is 48 pages long.. Expect a lot of crying in this episode

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Wow, thanks to the Energizer Bunny, this comic keeps going and going and going and going...

[@DigiMega351]

6:10 - "Help me find some cloths." If this is were Saint Seiya, that would make sense.

[@DigiMega351]

Simon Muñoz Yep

[@ThePunkrocker37]

still a smarter comic than marville #3, 4, and 5

[@jeremyusreevu237]

Yeah, but I'd still prefer Marville over this. At least that's bad in an interesting way. Hell, even Nova Girls is better than this. As bad as that is, it at least has a cheesy charm to it. BIT isn't even offesively bad, like ASBAR or Holy Terror. It's just plain bad.

[@kamenridernephilim]

17:58 For some reason the grave of Vincent Price appears in the graveyard battle sequence which takes in the Old West. All I can say what sort of fresh hell is this?

[@christopherhale3140]

I can't believe they got Morbius in this comic

[@Tareltonlives]

Still better than what I could as a review: I'd just loop the Galvatron "This is bad comedy" clip for 20 minutes straight. Maybe mix in "And then it gets funny" from MST or "THIS! ISN'T! FUNNY!" from Robot Chicken.

[@Tareltonlives]

You know what this reminds me of? Hobgoblins.

[@AbelYuen]

Whose idea was it to make the worst comic ever again? Was it a challenge or dare? A possibility to explore? Forgive me if that concept vexes me but ... wow.

[@NuclearDemoman]

Did...did Jack the Ripper have a safety razor?

[@Morningstar91939]

Bimbos In Time: Worst Comic Ever Frank Miller: Hold my beer.

[@DeathGodRiku]

"Comic history you don't care but need to know in order to understand this" Looking back, was this the "TIME FOR BACKSTORY" before it was called "TIME FOR BACKSTORY"

[@AT4W]

What I discovered was that people did, indeed, care about it and wanted to know.

[@DeathGodRiku]

Linkara-AtopTheFourthWall so you renamed it "time for backstory"

[@CuppaLLX]

Tim Curry's glove is Lion-O Gauntlet! They did it! They really did it! You monsters! You killed them all!

[@deadaccount7520]

"on second thought let's not go to Camelot. tis a silly place." these "ladies" would probably be more comfortable in the castle anthrax.

[@TheSirenNymph]

Books are best friends

[@Marelfan]

6:17 Jeez not even M Bison can raise my spirits

[@bulliwyf]

3:40 Shot on Shiteo!!!

[@jeremyroskes5391]

14:07 kills me everytime

[@mikigirl18]

Can someone bring in Kefka and show this guy how to be a good foppish villian?

[@POLE7645]

+mikigirl18 Or the ACTUAL Tim Curry?

[@Viccatrix]

I remember cinima snobs review of bimbos BC.. my god its not even entertainingly bad..

[@Tareltonlives]

Unlike Frank Miller, this at least was INTENTIONALLY horrible.

[@jakebryant3445]

00:02 nuff said

[@caplag]

I had a dog named Ashley Onec.

[@XxSombreroguyxX]

You gave your dog a last name?

[@GabyGeorge1996]

+That guy across the street I had a dog named MR MOOSE

[@Wren_the_Bird_King]

I had a cat named Marshmallow Flufferbob.

[@genkaiba15]

One day I hope to have one, too...

[@Sfactor1990]

God, This comic has humor that only fans of Teen Titans Go would find funny.(Oh yeah. I went there.)

[@e-spaceproductions]

+Michael Stethem you mean...no humor?

[@Sfactor1990]

Yeah, Pretty much.

[@e-spaceproductions]

Michael Stethem also, what fans?

[@Mokona7654]

+Michael Stethem And yet the main characters are still more sympathetic.

[@Ultrabalor]

+Michael Stethem That comic's more suited for Brickleberry fans than Teen Titans Go fans.

[@reaperproductions7058]

That miller time wss probably my favorite AT4W Joke, right next "This is gonna be sweet, this is gonna be- S.Boy Prime:Everything was so much better on my earth! Linkara: Its Superboy Prime D*MNIT!"

[@TheBestComicKing]

Why do I have a feeling that a high schooler drew this in either free period or lunch or even during class.

[@EmeraldBlack-up6xi]

It's like if Hugh Heffner wrote Time Bandits.

[@conradojavier]

Some should make a Reboot Starring LARRY THE MALE BILBO!

[@user-kf6vv2qq1h]

Conrado Javier There is some laisure suite Larry stuff, which I never played. Maybe it's about that Larry. Allso main hero of these games looks as tall, as Bilbo Baggins.

[@AndrewBullXandrew]

I consider this comic a comparison mark to other bad comics so you can say, "at least it's no Bimbos in Time!"

[@SpeedyEric1]

157- That's Seth MacFarlane in a nutshell.

[@capmar-vell9243]

Why?

[@SpeedyEric1]

Mattia Garavini Beause he's a complete idiot.

[@j.b.5422]

Of course, this had to contain some morbin time

[@SnowyDragoon]

Well, gwenivyre wasn't very faithful herself.

[@christopherb501]

7:44 As you can see, LONG time before his memory fully deteriorates.

[@AT4W]

Well, this episode was only a year into AT4W, soooo it wasn't so long after it had happened initially. XD

[@spookyrosev6467]

Can we just get an entire rifftrax on the Zombie Bloodbath movies?!

[@jordil6152]

at the end I thought you were teasing an AIR PIRATES review xD

[@lastswordfighter]

As if this piece of shit comic couldn't drop anymore copyright infringement/piss poor references to better things I noticed at 12:35 there is a dragon and Hobbit hole in the background.

[@dosbilliam]

You know a comic is bad when someone would rather watch Bubbahotep instead of read it. XD

[@ssj4jason737]

At least you can get a good laugh while watching Bubbahotep

[@rogvortex58]

Love the bimbo voice. So funny.

[@tannerprice2018]

11:39 "....I really love Arthurian lore..." ....so I'm guessing Sonic and the Black Knight is your guilty pleasure, Linkara?

[@davidmelon9409]

You mock the cover art (which is awful), but at least the blonde lady is holding her sword straight. Liefeld can't even manage that.

[@andrewgwilliam4831]

There's at least two more spelling errors that Linkara missed. Trying to spot them is probably a good distraction from the story, artwork, and attempted jokes!

[@genkaiba15]

So Tim Curry gets shat on in Jurassic Park. Well that's just Prime. ...what? Beast Wars has time travel...

[@DMBLaan]

I just realized that Jack the freaking Ripper was armed with a disposable razor.... I don't know if I want to complain that Linkara didn't point it out or be happy he didn't so this bad comic got less screen time...

[@andresomerville2305]

time ravel into another dimension where Camelot and Sherlock Holmes are real

[@DrBachur]

Dude, that comic art.

[@TheRealGaucelm]

For me, this is one of your funniest reviews, Linkara! Congratulations!

[@potlach001]

Lol the worm looked like a tremors reference

[@EmeraldBlack-up6xi]

He should do more movie riffs.

[@alicedarhk9790]

and yet, you made a movie. Better than Bimbos in Time.

[@Gerilyn2003]

Just thought of this comic while watching "Bad Blood" video by Taylor Swift. Tell me that line up at the end wasn't Bimbos.....

[@isenokami7810]

The Jack the Ripper/Sherlock Holmes section reminds me of a certain Case Closed episode that also used these figures. Oh, and it's infinitely better than this crap.

[@jessewilley531]

Not the implication that Elvis grandfather was an ally of Brisco County Jnr.

[@KrimsonVagus]

I believe the Cinema Snob already reviewed the Bimbos movie. It would have been nice if the 2 reviewers made a crossover into this one :P oh well, too late for that I guess

[@GalanDun]

KrimsonVagus He reviewed it with Linkara.

[@lwanco1018]

17:59 RIP Vincent Price, why is that on a tomb stone in the old west?

[@shebvixen]

So the Lone Ranger had to deal with graboids?

[@benjibuttons6380]

I wonder how something like this even gets produced...

[@FNGLHR]

It was independent, they don't have the same quality control. That's not saying much considering what DC Comics currently publishes, but whatever.

[@beneil2]

+FNGLHR that show Steam isn't the 1th & won't be The Last to not have quality control.

[@Cartoonicus]

That was Tim Curry? Tim, why???

[@tonykoslowski5010]

The only thing that could possibly beat this comic in levels of stupidity would have to be Marville.

[@genesismultiverse4896]

Did i saw quan chi in the zombie bloodbath

[@user-qq8ww6ym6f]

Coloring penciles,random characthers,characthers that look like the same,bad grammar,tonnes of plotholes,random love and unfunny jokes.This,this is Sonichu 20 years before Sonichu

[@battlion507]

That's pretty bad...

[@bernkastel6129]

Well, I'd already watched the Bimbos review with the Cinema Snob, so no surprises really. However, this one had the Tim Curry lookalike....

[@cpcoultertweedles7216]

I'm disappointed that you binged 'cloths' as a spelling/grammar error, but missed the wrong form of 'your' right above it

[@1MoreSonicRobot]

I was expecting the art to be stick figures.

[@dscheney1138]

FYI the film distributor Cinema Home Video and filmmaker David DeCoteau told Todd Sheets to make the bimbo movies. David DeCoteau was getting ready to go to a film convention and told Todd Sheets to send him some movie titles, the Bimbos movie title was just created without a storyline. After the convention Dave told Todd to make the bimbos movie because everybody at the film convention loved the title, so Todd had to quickly throw together a Bimbos flick. Another filmmaker told Todd Sheets that if you want to sell a low budget movie it needs the 3 B's Blood, Breasts and Beasts, he followed the 3 B rule on all of his early movies, movies he hates. Goblin is the only movie that he some what likes because it has the best gore effects and is loved around the world, especially in countries like Germany, Italy and Asia. As for the comic book it was completely black and white when it was sent to Draculina Publishing. Draculina publishing was supposed to color it using a computer. Todd Sheets and everyone involved in the company were not happy when they saw it looked like a child colored the cover then the rest of it was black and white. You can't find the bimbo movies because Todd Sheets did not like them and will not re-release them. When you are young and starting out in the independent film business in the late 80's early 90's you do what you are told to get your movies distributed. The social media sites that everyone now use to self promote themselves did not exist at that time. Instead of bashing people and the work that they have done maybe you should try to reach out and talk to people first and get their story.

[@jackthereader]

lol Dude, you’re like a decade late and also you’re defending a book with the line “I know so you bimbo!” Maybe get a more timely and worthier cause.

[@DMBLaan]

I'll give the comic the "I'm the King" joke from Elvis, but that's not really that big a complement as it sound.

[@christopherblaine4497]

I own this comic....

[@lastswordfighter]

How did you come by such a thing?

[@karda009]

I actually got disappointed when the Holy Grail clip ended. Jesus, this comic sucks.

[@3brerfox]

Wasn’t there a comic where Batman meets Sherlock Holmes? Linkara, get on that?

[@FNGLHR]

I am now sadly wondering about the 300th episode review. Could you, in fact, be doing the said worst comic you've ever read? Or are you probably going to do Terror City because that thing is shit and everyone wants to hear you rip it or something. I don't man, all I know is this wait for number 300 is making me crazy.

[@JaelinBezel]

FNGLHR Maybe he'll review a good comic.

[@billwhite515]

Where is linkara and avgn crossover?

[@DeathGodRiku]

Just search Adamantium Rage. That's as close as we get to a Linkara/AVGN crossover outside the Channel Awesome anniversary films

[@TennantJunkie1993]

But Sherlock Holmes is fictional. Todd Sheets should've made her Arthur Conan Doyle's niece, or at the very least, the niece of the cop who inspired Doyle to create Holmes.

[@crystalvoodoo91]

Am I the only one who thinks Gabrielle kinda looks like Kitty Forman from 'That 70's Show'? I hope I'm not.

[@jordandupuis1249]

Your not

[@noahmagana137]

Ten years of the first worst comic ever he reviewed

[@aidanw5660]

16:15

[@Fanatic_Foremem]

any reason why you felt a story about Bimbos traveling through time should be grounded in reality? The constant complaints about characters from works of fiction showing up makes me worry that you thought this was based on a true story.

[@Fanatic_Foremem]

The max and me series started with them traveling to the "time" of king Arthur, and plenty other time travelstories i've read have done the same, time travel is already fiction, so limiting yourself to real time periods only is a little silly.

[@Rgoid]

15:51 Robot . . . Chicken . . . ISN'T . . . FUNNY! (Never was. Never will be.) (Have I mentioned how much I HATE Robot Chicken?)

[@isaacgleeth3609]

Your opinion. Robot Chicken's hit-and-miss depending on what it is. The Star Wars episodes are pretty good, but I'll always go back to the original Star Wars parody: Spaceballs!!

[@OdaSwifteye]

It wore itself out for me. When it came out I remember liking it but I was young enough to where both the satire and parody was amusing while also the irrelevant trash humor was also funny. Unfortunately the satire has gotten really tired and cheap and the trash humor is so behind me in terms of valid entertainment that it's pretty sad that it still gets milage in comedies that are supposed to be for adults when it's technically 13 year old humor. If it was any more sophmoric i'd be giving it a wegdie after school. I also don't like how the stop motion doesn't often employ actual toys and just wireframes that have colored molds on them. I shouldn't be able to notice that.

[@cameronstevens3185]

(With excitement) Yes! Thank you! Someone finally had the guts to say it.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Funnily enough, they found Jack The Ripper to be a Polish immigrant.

[@maxmcelhannan7477]

the comics i sell are drawn with crayon :(