PROVIDER, MONEY, & MARRIAGE | Tyler Perry | Biblical Womanhood • Homemaker • Christian Marriage

[@Bindi_Marc]

*POST PUBLISHING THOUGHTS* Letter 1 - Move on, he's not qualified for the very high calling that is a husband, father, & head of household. Trust the Lord with the timing of your marriage and the timeline for childbearing. *Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. Proverbs 19:21* Letters 2 & 3 - Both husbands need to come to terms with the fact that they are indeed unemployed (and unsuccessful in their chosen endeavors both "ministry" and being a "business owner") and they need to accept its time for a *real* job. I am assuming that both of these men are refusing to seek gainful employment, thus leading to the advice I provided. Non-support and refusal to provide for a family are heavily condemned in the Bible and are obviously unacceptable. However, I do not biblically see it listed as an accepted reason for divorce, hence my not mentioning that option. *Letter 2* Paul, the missionary of missionaries, set the example of gainful employment specifically to address the tendency of some to laziness and being a financial burden to others. 2 Thessalonians 3 | 6 Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, 8nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. 9It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. 10For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. 11For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. 12Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. *Letter 3* For the mama of two carrying her third baby, can you separate from the husband and move in with family and use your earnings to make financial contributions to them instead of providing for your husband? Perhaps a flat rate that you and them can agree on until you can make other arrangements? All of these situations are awful and I cannot avoid reiterating that marriage and having babies is an incredible life choice that determines (in many ways) the rest of your life. Mistakes in marriage selection and childbearing cannot be easily undone and we can create consequences for ourselves that *the Lord only* can turn around and redeem. *REQUIRING MONEY AND GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT SUFFICIENT TO FLOAT A WHOLE FAMILY DOES NOT MAKE YOU A GOLD DIGGER.* It makes you a wise woman who wants to be able to legitimately respect her husband and a mother who cares about the well-being of her children. If a man who does not work cannot eat.... how much less does a man who does not work merit a wife? "Your husband is a choice. Choose wisely!" - Janice Hylton

[@keepcreationprocess]

That church woman with the teenage boys is in big trouble .....But the Lord can provide - but you have to learn & know what you have to do....We as christians have to form our group... And your content is very good....

[@The-Oneness11]

What advice do you have for widowed mothers? I work but I am not making enough to sufficiently support my family.

[@Bre.Bree.]

⁠@@The-Oneness11I am also widowed and in the Bible the Lord urges us primarily to remarry but also to lean on our family’s support. And for older widows to lean on the church for help. 1 Timothy 5:3-5 Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. 4 But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God. 5 Now a true widow, a woman who is truly alone in this world, has placed her hope in God. She prays night and day, asking God for his help. And if your family is able to help you care for your children God will give you the grace to work and support them as he gave me the same grace early on. I stayed with a family member and worked and they helped me with my caring for my child. At one point my son was in daycare not for long just until I found a remote work from home job and I don’t feel led to have our children in daycare for long but God is a provider no matter what the circumstance may be so be encouraged and stay in prayer sister!❤❤ God bless you and you’re not alone!

[@KARAWORLDINSPIRATION]

I believe Tyler was referring to a starting point. Not that these women should continuously be a provider. Unfortunately, a lot of men are not raised to be a husband. These days ladies are unmarried even in 40s 50s. Lastly, advising the pregnant lady to leave her husband will bring more issues bcus what's she's currently doing is helping her husband while he's down financially (which is not easy, but which is the role of a wife). What she needs right now is a god job for her husband rather than packing out and spending same money outside just because her husband is down. What if he leaves her with 3kids, who's gonna help her? Get him a bera job pls😅. ❤

[@terristrange]

I think a man would not put a woman he loves and values in the position of struggle and strife and make excuses for it.

[@flowersandlace]

oof. yes!!! 🙏🤌

[@aemsiw3798]

Some men are just not trained. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love her.

[@87883]

Unfortunately some men were taught or raised on struggle Love so their Love Language is exactly that and the better Love is an alternative of seen as ideal but not obtainable by them since they were never raised that way.

[@mi3helle707]

You already know

[@precioussamone]

The world loves to make men feminine and women masculine. It is the man’s job to provide. Point blank period. The WORD of God outlines the way we should live as husband and wife to a T. There is no gray area. Great content!

[@beadoll8025]

Never let a drag queen tell you what you should do as women ❤❤❤

[@tameikarease2389]

🤣🤣🤣

[@92pbanks]

Anyone remember that boondocks episode 😂

[@sis_yd_jesuschrist]

Wow this is so true 😂😂😂

[@sticktothescrip_tures9282]

This is what I Came to say in different less colorful words😅. We should never be looking to advice from people who do not have a Biblical worldview.

[@ondreatorrence4322]

🤣🙌🙌 truth

[@somethintru1]

I think Tyler Perry should not be speaking on behalf of men. PERIOD.

[@UntotheLord]

It is so detrimental that so many of us black woman are taught we shouldn’t want, and don’t deserve better. I’m grateful by the grace of God I married an amazing provider and father but I’m the exception to most of the other women I know. We need to teach our boys and girls better.

[@Flinabin]

Amen to that !!

[@rubytaylor2633]

You said it "exception". If our standards weren't so high in this country we would appreciate the man God gave us and not be sitting around discontent and disrespectful of the average joes out here who are working hard to provide for their families because we think we need luxuries like island vacations and fancy handbags in order to feel blessed by God.

[@adrianbrrghs]

@@rubytaylor2633 All of the actual blue collar, hard working men I know are all married and don’t have a single problem finding women that love and respect them. If women actually held out for lavish vacations and luxury handbags so many families wouldn’t be struggling. Don’t let losers on the internet trick you into thinking women have these impossible standards, it just feels that way to them because they’re like the men in this video and want to be chronically unemployed and still have women begging to be their wives.

[@UntotheLord]

@@rubytaylor2633 we don’t love lavish by any means. We have to make money stretch like most people in this economy. We barely get date nights but once every few months. But, my husband is a very hard worker and isn’t prideful. While he has a good job now, there were times in our marriage where he went through trash to find recycling goods so me and our child had dinner. Even in the times early on when we were flat broke I never worried about the shelter, food and safety of me and my children because my husband always found a way to provide. Meanwhile my sister is working her tail off, away from her new born while her husband sits at home “dreaming” because he won’t keep a job. Unfortunately there are way more men like the one my sister married that I see women marry then men like my husband. I didn’t know what to look for but God gave me what I needed before I even knew who God was 🙌🏿

[@pettylilthing]

@@rubytaylor2633I don’t think black women’s standards in most cases are even that high. That is the problem, a lot get into relationships with men who don’t treat them correctly and who are not the best picks for a man who is a provider, father etc. and it’s sad.

[@cierrashewrites]

To the first girl with the older man...run. That attitude of "I just want to relax for a bit" and that "having no plan" thing...that's why he's 30 and choosing to Uber as a primary means of income. A man without a plan is even worse than a man with no money. You'd much rather get exactly what you want just a little later than you expected, than get this man at the timing you want and have kids with him then all of y'all are struggling. That's a nasty divorce waiting to happen. RUN

[@Nina_Medina]

Amen Sis 🙌 Don't settle 🙏 Seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and THEN everything else shall be ADDED... it's good to know what you want and have a plan but at the end God has the last say so...leave room for God's will to be done in your life or else you will try to make things happen on your own strength 😔 and we know that usually doesn't work out.

[@dreamgrl30]

I totally agree. She needs to RUN. If she ends of pregnant it's only going to get worse. Seek God bc im sure he is NOT the man the Lord has in stored for her. Sometimes we ignore ALL the red flags then cry later. GET OUT

[@ashley_audacious]

the age difference is a red flag. it’s a reason why he can’t get women his own age so he went and got a 20 year old

[@crissoa]

Agreed. A man without a vision or a future is the worst.

[@mi3helle707]

❤

[@audreybraggs7567]

I realized the other day while watching a movie that I have grown up with the idea that it’s okay for a woman to choose a man who is a “diamond in the rough” and then refine him into something beautiful. That’s not something my mother (a Godly woman) taught me but a message that I heard in my surroundings and on tv and over time had apparent taken root. But that is such a lie. And as you said it’s unfair to place a man in a role that he’s not ready for and then magically expect him to be changed by your love and guidance. I thank God everyday when He brings these lies to the surface so they can be torn down before costing us great pain!

[@Nina_Medina]

Amen❤ thank you for sharing

[@sadelorraine8437]

I don’t know. That “refine the diamond in the rough” is detrimental mentality is exactly what causes women to settle with poor men who cannot provide. Men are supposed to provide. Money is important. Women are supposed to gauge if a man can obtain and grow resources. Almost all the men mentioned in the letters are men who cannot obtain or grow resources. These are men who are also foolish. These are not the men to refine. In fact they are men to avoid. I think women need to choose men who are upwardly mobile and have highly transferable skills that can earn increasing income. For example, a man who earned a certificate in a coding language has a transferable skill that can earn him a career that can obtain resources. A man who is hoping his passion of singing and purchasing a studio for a music career is foolish and neglecting his responsibilities to provide first and foremost. It also makes women resentful because they’re forced to have to provide for the household while also cleaning and maintenance. It’s not fun. A man should be godly and have a stable career or job or highly desirable skill that can earn income.

[@maitelemakungo2760]

so true

[@LissieLoves]

I find it interesting that Tyler Perry is saying these things to black women, avoiding using this time to encourage black men to rise up as he did, while simultaneously resting his elbow on an Hermes pillow.

[@TaureanDreams]

TP message made me mad, but I just had to laugh when I seen the Hermes pillow😂😂😂

[@faraboverubies2020]

It's actually the fault of modern women. Ladies of this day and age focus so much on making more money instead of trusting God. If the Bible is telling us to marry, bear children and be keepers at home, why are so many women making high salaries in the first place??

[@shaymay2892]

@@faraboverubies2020 That's def part of it. And I don't even know what a Hermes Pillow is to notice. But good catch to those who noticed and mad the connection.

[@LissieLoves]

@@faraboverubies2020 I believe your thoughts are a little antiquated. Some ladies are focusing on making a living because they still have to feed, clothe, and house themselves to be around for a man to find them. Maybe they wouldn't feel the instinct to preserve themselves if we were still able to live with our parents until marriage ( some men in the Bible were with their families until 40 years of age), but that's not the case for most people. Especially, black women who are usually kicked out of their homes anywhere from 16-18 years of age. I don't think it's fair to only blame the women without looking at the surrounding factors causing us to look after ourselves in droves.

[@Yapah.S.Da.K.O.S]

Great video sis!!! As a Yah fearing stay at home wife, mother and home schooler (and former ivy leaguer from B-More City east side) , I help fellow sisters master the credit REPORT, then then score to get money. Then use that to acquire assets and cashflow to handle da biz responsibility.

[@jose-pie3055]

One thing that the Mennonite and Amish community does right is having the boys work right out of 8th grade and learning to work and provide for themselves and the family early. They have full experience in a trade by the time most people get out of highschool and are in a financial place to get married when they come of age at 18. Most don't get married that young but it's a way better position than most other men their age. They are taught to be providers and women are taught to be homemakers and mothers.

[@deirdresheridan8223]

Really interesting, thank you for posting.

[@E.Cerulean]

Fascinating

[@kalarandazzo2691]

I don’t think the woman from the first letter is confused or ignorant about the traits of a Godly man. I do think she’s acting like she’s confused, but I think she does understand that her guy isn’t measuring up to the standard. I think her question is actually “how can I get him to fit in my picture so my life can unfold exactly how I planned it?” Having children young is a great goal, but you can’t force a guy who’s not ready to fit into your strict picture of your life goals. If 22 comes and goes and she doesn’t have children yet, it’s ok! It would be much better to patiently wait and search for a qualified man and consequently have children later, than to force this one into a standard that he’s not willing to align to on his own.

[@bajechick1]

Exactly, she knows very well he isn't where he's suppose to be but the plan of having a child at 22 is her main priority and she's willing to overlook it

[@cierrashewrites]

Exactly this. She doesn't want to let him go and risk being single longer than she wanted

[@gizzellemcleish1837]

Absolutely

[@mooshway2000]

I agree. The man wants to 'relax', having kids is hard work and if he's not ready both of them will end up resentful.

[@Shangri-LaGrange]

Im sorry, but at thirty years old and he is still basically “jobless”, with no career, no plan, he’s not going anywhere with his life. Run! Leave that mommas boy and go find a Real Man! If he’s thirty and hasn’t taken steps to be prepared for marriage, he honestly never will be the provider you need and deserve. I’ve witnessed it. Yes, go find a qualified man, even if you miss the “age mark” you’ve set.

[@Alekszandruh]

Men of other cultures don’t tell women to settle, they tell men to make more money and become better as men. I’m so tired of this narrative and these same men want women to play all the roles and will leave you for a younger woman once they finally hit their financial stride and you’ve burnt yourself out and gotten older faster due to the overload of work.

[@fabbeyonddadancer]

Ha women work in non western cultures and give the economic gain to the household

[@lauranoon]

I'm not a black woman, but if what Tyler Perry says is the case then why should black women have to just lower their standards and pay for everything? Why can't the issue of black men not going to college and bettering themselves be addressed instead? I don't think it's fair that a black woman should have to forget about what she wants and just lower herself to playing the role of provider if that woman makes a lot, but wants someone who makes more than her, that is her right.

[@Houndsunite]

Preach

[@keyahninaylor4974]

Facts

[@Afrodite96]

Right! Black men need to stop preaching such harmful rhetoric to black women. Y’all ain’t handling “just the light bill”… are you crazy???

[@Alyssa-ee3dm]

no lies detected.

[@marcasino3117]

The premise of Tyler Perry's statement is incorrect. Black women are not earning more money than black men. This data is published and easily researched. Men don't go to college in the same numbers as women because men can make $90k+ as an auto body technician, electrician, plumber, construction supervisor, truck driver, etc. And these men have no student load debt. Across all races, women attend college at higher rates than men.

[@brianabenson6704]

All young girls should be required to watch this podcast before dating. You graciously discuss the facts of marriage and life for women

[@Jamestown5667]

yes they should

[@florindagonzalez5700]

I'm 36 and am being encouraged to stand my ground on the man I want.

[@adrianbrrghs]

This is why I’ll never feel bad about never having kids-men will gladly and eagerly take the role of “leader” knowing that they’re unfit and leave the responsibility of actual leadership to the woman without an ounce of shame or guilt. Nope, I refuse to let my biological clock be used against me and my potential children. Women-don’t let anyone shame you for being unmarried or childless. Men like Tyler Perry will tell you to settle and then blame you for not choosing better when it all falls apart.

[@nenyeo6090]

Preach!!!

[@Rae_eLLe]

Idk if not having kids is the solution as opposed to using wisdom and discernment when saying yes to becoming a man's wife.

[@adrianbrrghs]

@@Rae_eLLe And you throw away all wisdom and discernment when you let people shame you and pressure you to get married and have kids no matter what. People want women to be wise and have discernment but also want every woman to think that it’s her destiny to be married. You can’t have both. You have to get women comfortable with the idea of be alone so they can make the choice to partner out of security and not desperation.

[@Rae_eLLe]

@adrianbrrghs I'd disagree on "you can't have both". Women were literally created to birth children; which is why they carry a womb. Meaning to be married in God's design. The way a woman goes about fulfilling that call is what matters. I agree a woman doesn't need to listen to those who pressure them to act. If the right man is not present in a woman's life then she's needs to not move forward with said man. Women have to understand and have faith that God has the right man for her. He will allow that man to find her in His(God's) perfect timing. Women have to submit their timing and desires to God and not "settle" in the process. If a woman truly believes God has the "perfect man for her" then she will wait and there won't be any issues.

[@adrianbrrghs]

@@Rae_eLLe I would like to agree with you in theory, but that’s not the way people are operating in practicality. Just because I have a womb doesn’t mean that I have to birth children. I dedicate my efforts to be the village to the children that are already here and that’s enough. Thinking that God HAS to “have a man” for me in my life for it be complete is exactly how women are conditioned to move in desperation. You have to figure out what gifts you can give the world outside of your womb. That way, when a broke man slides up to you with nothing to offer but marriage and children he can’t afford to care for, you can say no, because your self worth isn’t dependent on you being a mother. Men know how much we crave to nurture and they’ve proven that they have no qualms using it against us. I’m just telling women to not give them the opportunity to do that.

[@esthercollins4215]

As an older woman I would say to those already in marriage do everything in your role. Really try to stop carrying the burden to provide, I do not know how a woman can raise children, take care of a home and work. She will be worn out when it is over. I would suggest a book written by Helen Adelin titled “Fascinating Womanhood” it gives many options in dealing with these type of situations. As for the unmarried woman looking at the man, who is not in the position to provide, I pray you will pass. When a man is ready to marry he will not be so passive. I feel the term “you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it” is a very harsh saying but many older folks knew about reality. But there is hope, pray and do all you can to be a woman in a godly feminine role and God can change things. Thank you for addressing this in your video, young ladies need to be educated. N

[@Nina_Medina]

Well said, I believe God honors our obedience and when we submit as wives to our husbands even when they may be out of order. I remember God dealt with me and asked me "Do you trust Me? Then allow your husband to lead" "Even if he makes a mistake, trust me to lead him and bring you out". Once I took my rightful position and stayed in my lane God began to bless my marriage like never before 🙌

[@MrsMunyao]

Well said 💯

[@amandafrench6214]

Love this book! Yes, if the first one let the guy know she’s dating what she wants and he’s not willing to put himself in a better position, he’s showing who he is.

[@Kaymaxwelldevelops]

“Your husband is not a Levitical Priest…you didn’t say your husband was a descendant of the Levites.”😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Deanna0456]

Bindi definitely tickles my spirit sometimes. I know she is serious and the subjects are serious but the way she says things are so funny sometimes.

[@llt4726]

​@@Deanna0456😂Right??I am just sitting here thinking "how does she do that?".I hope that the message gets delivered😂

[@jessicathomas1185]

Everything is fine but…. I want Chill and Uber for a bit 😬 See’s himself leviticus priest 😮 …. If a man doesn’t work he don’t eat 2 Thes 3:10 KJV. A man is worse than an atheist if he provides not for his family 1 Tim 5:8 KJV.

[@releasingtaundra4267]

I absolutely love this girl! She ALWAYS tells it like it is supposed to be told. Tyler Perry is telling us to keep our list, but it's actually called having STANDARDS sir. Thank you so much for NEVER being afraid to keep it real! God bless your Kingdom Marriage.

[@ondreatorrence4322]

He ain't never done nothing good for the black community. Idk why people listen to him like he actaully has something to say.

[@releasingtaundra4267]

@@ondreatorrence4322 EXACTLY! He is only for himself and the demonic community that's backing and supporting him.

[@user-fo3vk6zf2n]

​@@ondreatorrence4322😂😂😂

[@rachelo8294]

That husband should be rebuked by other men in their church community. How can he let his wife and children live like that??? It’s so ridiculous!

[@HealedByJesus20]

Literally, cuz he could at least work at McDonald’s so they could eat…. Lord I ask that you open their spiritual eyes and soften their hearts to accept what it is that you truly have for them. Lord show her husband that, their circumstance is not in your will for their life. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

[@kimlee3163]

Husband in letter 2 is too comfortable. No man of God would sit around and allow his family to suffer. He should know, By the sweat of your brow… Faith without works is dead.

[@fmbida]

he won't listen because he shall think they are working against his call on his life

[@audreybourgeois4626]

That may be why he refuses to affiliate with a church. He is well aware that the elders would never allow him to treat his family that way and he doesn't want to hear it.

[@heathermoore9008]

The second letter seems like he left the mission field physically, but his mind is still there.Some missionaries oddly glorify poverty.

[@eulicehooper6340]

Very true. It is a misapplication of scripture. I have been guilty.

[@HabitsofaHomemaker]

Yes!! Speak the truth and these biblical facts sis!! 🔥❤️🥰 Such a timely and wise message. ❤️ Sadly, many Christians are being deceived into biblical role reversal. I had shared with the ladies in one of my videos that it’s not our jobs to retire our husbands. I’ve been hoping to tackle this even further and your video certainly gave me that extra push. 🥰 Thank you for spreading biblical knowledge, wisdom and understanding. 🌻

[@nicoobrowner]

Yaaay! I love your channel 😊. Good to see my two favorite, God fearing homemakers rooting for each other ❤

[@HabitsofaHomemaker]

@@nicoobrowner Aww, thank you so much my beautiful sister! 🥰

[@thinkbeforeyouact8242]

Love you Angel ❤

[@mrs.s.6408]

I just watched that video yesterday. ❤🌻

[@MeachumVillage]

Post the link to the video. I can’t find it.

[@bridgetkasi4414]

It's really sad how we let ourselves get into such imbalanced situations and we proceed to have more than 1 child in such circumstances. I also do believe that many Christians we have twisted the Bible. Our Father is generous and He has not designed us to be beggars on this earth. But His also practical and blesses pple that are moving. Christians simply believe they can sit en do nothing en will see the salvation of the Lord. U said it aptly, wen u said we are choosing between different consequences. I urge us in our Christian belief to realise we operate in the practical physical world with rules, one can't spend all their money unwisely en believe God will make a way. I pray God protects more women from being looped into such difficult circumstances.

[@poik247]

That man who’s letting his family live in poverty and isn’t applying himself is violating the word of God. A man who does not care for his own family is worse than an unbeliever. He’s using the Levite idea as an excuse to lighten the stress of working more and since he’s loosened his load it’s been passed on to his wife.

[@txLALA]

It’s not even just the money. Do you want to be the covering for a man? The burdens of the world are entirely on the wife. It’s a role reversal all while the wife still holds up her end of the bargain. The woman in the third letter is pregnant with two kids. Can she even afford to take maternity leave, let alone years off to raise young children? This is not sustainable. I don’t care what Tyler says because he can’t tell me what to do, but men should be offended. He’s insulted them, yet they’re quiet as a mouse because a lot of them are hoping women are fool enough to fall for the okie doke.

[@shaymay2892]

Who told us to take marriage advice from Tyler Perry?

[@Jamestown5667]

Shocking

[@Kammiilla]

Honestly I think that even churches are a bit worldly in this area nowadays. I can’t even think of a church that I’ve been to where elders would say “wow, if he doesn’t provide, then it’s a bad thing!” I mean I imagine them saying that the wife should work too and then there would be no issue, or that she has huge requirements, if she wants a husband who provides for every need. I live in the UK now and I imagine this advice is what would most likely be advised when a wife comes for counselling. Also, I’m originally from Lithuania and I imagine it happening there too. Non-believer couples usually both work and the wife takes maternity leave and then comes back to work. I can envision the same thing being advised in Lithuanian Christian churches too! (Although I don’t know what’s the case for sure). I just don’t think they focus on these Biblical married life roles too much. So ladies, if you go to a church that encourages this lifestyle and sees it as a necessity, you’re truly blessed! I don’t even know where these churches are at. (not to say anything bad about churches, it’s just what I’ve noticed). People like Bindi are rare to find amongst believers, at least from my experience (people who care about Biblical roles). Churches usually focus on salvation and all that, which is amazing, but I’ve NEVER heard them talk about wives being workers at the home and husbands being providers lol. AMONGST BELIEVERS a woman is usually asked “oh I haven’t seen you in a long time, so where do you work now?” As if you HAVE to work. Trying to explain Biblical roles to Christians would take a lot of work, because Christians don’t know about them🥵

[@HelloooDear]

Yes !!!!!!

[@andreahlongwane3197]

As a Christian and a single working woman, I have been having these internal conversations with myself. Thank you for addressing this topic biblically with wisdom from God. At the same time, as you stated, it is important that we read our bibles completely to fully understand the will of God for the marriage structure. ❤

[@davidprice4777]

Bottom line,Men and Women need to Pray,Read The Holy Bible, Daily,and live a Godly life to prepare for a Husband and Wife Spiritually, Financially,and Emotionally!Great advice Bindi Marc,God bless you!

[@AllThingsTiffanyTV]

Some Guys that young have nothing established / just starting and still figuring it out. He has no ambition so he won’t be able to provide. He could be telling her that so she knows he won’t be romantically invested, he won’t be courting her as such, she won’t be cherished. He is testing her to see if her standards and values are low enough to get convenient sex from her even though she already knows what she wants…. And Tyler Perry please. A light bill here and there ??? 😮😮😮😮😮 baby the mortgage is due chiiiiillleeee

[@Sharie.]

Men don’t show their true colors until 6 months to 1 year do not be too quick to settle down with this man young lady😊

[@Offthebeatenpath.]

Your topics have been on a roll lately 🔥

[@nenyeo6090]

right! Been loving it ❤

[@nenyeo6090]

& hey Gwen❤

[@n.pierre]

I empathize with all these women. A lot of us don’t grow up with wise womanly guidance and go thru life making choices without considering their consequences. As a woman, if you choose to marry, I believe whom you chose to marry is the second most important decision after choosing Jesus as Lord and Savior. A decision that requires more than just “love” and what you think as individuals . I agree that having a church body in regards to this is important and accountability is crucial. Where we tend to fall is thinking we know best (lack of humility) and we don’t involve Christ. But it’s never too late to turn things around. Don’t settle for less than the biblical standard to the unmarried and involve trusted members of the church body for counsel to the married.

[@harpmyday]

Re the recording studio guy, a “business” that costs lots more money than it brings in (if it’s been that way a while) is a hobby.

[@shelleyroper588]

THIS!!!!!!!❤🙌

[@LovelyKelly645]

Thats exactly what I said!

[@christelle9122]

I just turnt 30, never met a man who inspired me to settle. Im glad I’m still single. I was not a follower of Christ in my early twenties and I would have made the wrong choices, would have accepted to not get married, to be « tried » like a car would be. I will be patient. Your pieces of advice are very valuable. Thank you

[@hettiekenny5185]

Such wisdom you have, Bindi. I’m 62 and have been married for 44 years. Your counsel is sound. I really appreciate your content.

[@jeneeskinner7481]

All men need older mentors and peers that offer healthy examples of protection and provision for family. I agree that in all 3 situations, church or family elders should be involved to counsel the couples. If the husbands or bf are resistant to that, that's a sign of pride and perhaps theyre aware that they're lacking by an objective standard. If the man refused counseling and to work a job that at least paid 50-70% of the bills, I'd likely separate (not divorce) from him. He'd have to learn to live on his own and properly support our kids for an extended period of time before I came back and I'd explain that to him. The only way to break habits are to have consequences and gain perspective. Not to mention, unemployment/mediocrity/poverty should serve as birth control. We shouldn't create kids we can't afford. At the very least you should be using condoms. Lastly, your kids are learning these dynamics from you. Sons are learning how they'll treat women, daughters are learning what to tolerate from men. Please set better examples for the next generation!

[@verihealthy7156]

I love these letter readings

[@your.beautiful.mind.now.]

Whew! 2 of the 3 scenarios left me pinching the bridge of my nose and face palming nearly every 30 seconds! I watched this FIRST HAND happen with one of my siblings! Had an entire wife and kids and leeched off of anyone who came into close proximity when he refused to work, then squandered his income and STILL expected outside resources to pick up the slack when he was working! It's just crazy how folks find entire worst case scenarios attractive! God help us! On a side note, Levitical Priests were HELD ACCOUNTABLE to their oaths by OTHER Levitical Priests! How you a whole Levitical priest, but aren't even rooted in a church body where the other clergymen can actually hold you to your oath???? The math ain't mathing!

[@liorajimenez3085]

"On a side note, Levitical Priests were HELD ACCOUNTABLE to their oaths by OTHER Levitical Priests! How you a whole Levitical priest, but aren't even rooted in a church body where the other clergymen can actually hold you to your oath????" Better yet, how are you a Levitical Priest when 1) you are not descended from Levi son of Jacob, and 2) the Levitical priesthood is defunct. It has been superseded by the priesthood of Melchizedek.

[@Nina_Medina]

Oh how I wish I would've encountered this type of content when I was young and naive😅 Sis you be dropping gems/wisdom, I pray for the individuals who wrote those letters that they listen and take heed🙏🙏🙏

[@realashandaatlarge]

Chiiilllleee, you and me BOTH!

[@kaylag.8411]

It's interesting that the man who made millions of dollars producing dramas is now giving advice that causes drama in the lives of people. Pay attention to your sources of information ladies!

[@blessedmama2727]

Bindi, you are wise beyond your years. Thank you for sharing with your sisters in Christ.

[@tshegofatsothegreat]

Women are somehow afraid to ask a man who is proposing marriage to them if they are capable of being a husband and a father. They are afraid to let the men know what the bible expect of them as good husbands and good fathers. Remember for a woman to be able to safely fall pregnant and nurse their children she will have to be fully present and a lot of working mothers are struggling in that areas as they have to help the husband provide for the family. One of the reasons that teenagers can easily fall pregnant is because they do not have any mental and emotional responsibilities that hinder or put strain on their fertility, they do not have to worry about being a provider and where their next meal is coming from.

[@TwiFiveGirls101]

Wow, I never thought of it like that. That teen girls are being provided for by their mother or father so they have no stress.

[@adrienneashby8465]

Your graciousness in addressing this challenging topic is divinely balanced and beautiful! Thank you! My heart aches for all the women in the letters you shared. My question is how long will you be ok carrying the financial weight and management of the household? Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Most women can carry a household because it's stamped on our DNA hard drive. But the consequences are always more than expected. Physical (health issues from "pushing through", "putting ourselves last" ie.. poor eating due to plates to full doing all the things, not enough exercise , not enough rest and sleep (there's a difference between these two). Emotional (mental health issues from the sheer stress of it all. Subconscious and conscious bitterness and resentment towards him and yourself for taking it all on and him letting you. Spiritual, yes, you can pray and read your bible but if you're operating out of God's divine, established order, you will be robbed of the gifts of peace of heart and peace of mind, godly contentment and experiencing marriage flow the way God intended. Sis, that's a whole lot just to have a "family". Actually, that's not family at all. carrying a man, the kids both in the womb and out, the houshold, yourself is unwise, unhealthy and detrimental to yo' whole self. (Ebonics on purpose). A healthy family can look like a shared weight, with an ongoing "contest" of who can treat the other person the best, each one operating in their gifts, (including the kids), creating a strong bond of love, unity and building a legacy. And I think Tyler Perry's viewpoint = settling. Just because a woman makes more doesn't mean she has to settle for character without a comparable income. His good character and love should drive him to level up. When my boyfriend in college rode his bike 20 miles one way to work; and got mad when he couldn't ride it in the snow, I knew that brotha was going to work and provide!! And he did indeed! If that man's talk don't match his actions or biblical principles, it's a no, all day everyday. love & peace❤

[@BearingMySeoul]

Here's the thing, Tyler Perry is in ATL. "Regular" women are clocking $200K+ at some of the big companies there which puts them in the top 5% of earners and people Tyler knows personally are probably grossing more than that! Even at $100K you're out-earning 80+% of EVERYBODY male or female. It's just not realistic to limit yourself to that small window, when most of them (including about 25% of black men) aren't interested in marrying black. Makes perfectly good sense to me.

[@taebrown384]

So well said!!

[@journey2health280]

Thanks big sis... I've been watching your videos where you give women advice and I love and appreciate you. A lot of us grew up not being taught how to vet a husband and we are only learning after making tremendous amount of mistakes and finding channels like yours to educate us

[@rubytaylor2633]

I understand where Tyler Perry was coming from even though the visual he gave in his example was so far from the ideal. God blesses marriage. He looks at the intention of the heart and a heart seeking Him is what pleases Him. I said that to say that if you are a woman in a high income bracket a lot of times your money, degree(s), occupation etc have become your god. There's so many people that have way more than what they need to live and God's provision just isn't enough for them. Then when they reach a certain level of "success" they pat themselves on the back as if it was all their effort that got them where they are. So in conclusion it's not a who makes more money that's a problem it's a submission problem. When you get married everything becomes ours not yours/mine. Most people especially in this country have too much pride and entitlement to trust God and be grateful to Him for His provision nor submit to His will or their husbands. I politely disagree with this teaching, I think it's a bit jaded.😢

[@iamhunnib]

@rubytaylor2633 I’m glad you said this! because I’m watching this video like this isn’t realistic. I also understand where Tyler is coming from too

[@faraboverubies2020]

Thank you for your comment. I agree with you.

[@tinab8466]

This is why I don't listen to or watch Tyler Perry's movies. Why can't BM like Tyler Perry help other BM by educating them on how to make money and be providers and protectors for BW and their children.

[@nereidajonez1401]

Bindi you are always telling it how it really is and I appreciate that so much. No sugar coating! When we hear the hard truth and can accept responsibility of our situations we can actually walk in the direction of real solutions. No body said it would be easy but pick up your cross and follow him for it is worth it and far better than letting things get worse. And yes get in your bible ladies God put all the answers right there for us we just need to apply them. My prayers go out to all mamas going through it, I have my own struggles but I am confident with the Lords guidance and the peace love and sound mind he has given me I will make it through ❣️

[@jacqueline8566]

People use the cover of ministry to be lazy and slothful and/or not be accountable to people/managers in the workforce. How can I trust a minister who doesn’t wanna work? How can you labor for souls if you can’t labor on a job? Smh

[@jacqueline8566]

One can do ministry and be gainfully employed. I know Senior Pastors that God eventually called off their jobs after they worked a whileeeee & they were the ones still using their OWN finances to pay members’ rent, car notes, etc etc etc for years and years and years A minister needs to work! Bc the minister has to minister finances also to the body of Christ!

[@Nina_Medina]

Absolutely, my brother in law did this. He was a missionary, married with 3 children and he told his wife that she didn't have to work because he will make sure to always provide so that she could stay at home and raise their children. He worked and did missionary when he could. Now all their children are grown and out the house and he tells his wife she is more than welcome to work if she would like too but she doesn't have too, he actually enjoys being her provider ❤

[@juniorbrown5904]

Queen Bindi Joy, I like your reasoning! You're as wise as Solomon! So guess what?... Another title has being bestowed upon you! Chosen by me and also the crew. Solo-woman, a.k.a Solomoness, because you prove to be the best. You're truly uncomparable to some, because of your vast amount of wisdom. Keep up the great work.

[@Trinlove]

Having a man with a provider mindset is so important 👏🏾👏🏾💕I hate hearing woman that have kids on the way picking up the slack

[@arlenaholmes]

Just yasssss and Amen to everything you said Bindi!!!

[@TaureanDreams]

I’m sending so much love and empathy to the ladies in these letters. All 3 are a tough spot to be in❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@rubytaylor2633]

That they placed themselves in. Let's read our Words and be accountable for our choices.

[@kay-leendupreez379]

I want to thank you for all these videos of giving advice and more. It truly has helped me connect things more deeply, and if I find someone who relates to it, I use most of your advice and examples. Our Lord has given you amazing wisdom in this aspect of your life, and I want to thank Him for giving you the opportunity to share the knowledge that our Lord has taught you. Love it! ❤

[@Alekszandruh]

I love how graceful you were answering these letters. I was losing it. 😩 “food is a reasonable expectation” 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@catozuna1518]

Tyler Perry is not even married

[@akilahbrooklyn8236]

TP 'allegedly' sleeps with men and never married the mother of his child. Some Christian.

[@joshuacooperseo]

There are over 2300 verses in the Bible on finance, wealth and stewardship. Well more than salvation and this is the problem! God clearly does NOT want you to be Broke! Also, don’t let anyone finesse you using the Old Testament 😂.

[@PriscillaMontero]

For the 20 year old and 30 year old couple, I think it is great that she knows what she wants and what she’s looking for and I agree that maybe she is wasting time asking if he’s the one if clearly he doesn’t meet what she wants.. I also think that she’s needs to take God into account and understand that just because she wants her life to go a certain way doesn’t mean that that is what God has planned for her life. I think a lot of us thought we would have our first child at a certain age but what we want may not always be God’s plan for us. Perhaps her fear of not getting what she wants is what’s making her decide if this guy is right for her or not so hard.

[@173paige]

I adore your content so much sister in Christ! Anything you upload, i'm there! ❤ God bless you all

[@yapahbanth]

This is very true ladies, marriages so serious, so take time to court people, and prove whether or not, they can provide the type of life that you are seeking. Make sure that your goals align. Especially as a woman who has a submit to her husband have him show that he’s worthy of that role.

[@teralecole316]

I don’t feel bad #2, she kept rewarding her unemployed husband with kids. 6 kids. Sis chose poverty for marriage.

[@AyanaInChrist]

Unmarried women, take heed. Married women... prayerfully consider intervention and counsel.

[@NewlifeinChristJesus]

Please ladies (and men), please, before you embark on any relationship, please ask the Lord what His will is for your life. He may not want you be be with the person you are dating. Simple ask the Lord for His guidance. Ask Him what husband/wife he wants for you. He Knows what is best for your life. He knows who the right person is for you. Have patience and wait on the Lord to work His marvellous ways in your life. I can attest to this. The Lord Jesus Christ has given me a husband who is a provider and a true man of God that is indeed the priest of our home. Trust in the Lord. God bless

[@lifeatpecancottage5263]

Ministry is not an license or excuse for his lack of preparation/working. There is a scripture verse that says that a man that doesn’t provide for his family is WORSE than an infidel.

[@hnoedgargarcia]

Greetings Bindi. This video was definitely a hard pill to swallow. We truely live in a society that expects the woman to provide financially for the home. Changing or transforming into a biblical mind and lifestyle calls us men to be the providers and to work hard to accomplish this. Many men should not have entered marriage for this reason. Greetings from Mexico.

[@psychattack3381]

This is sound advice. All of it. And in a day and age where we hasten to absolve people from the consequences of their actions and blame everyone but the person who made the decision, it was refreshing to hear someone speak truth without sugarcoating it.

[@BeyonkaHollidayRealtor]

You have given much insight and I thank you for this! When my husband and I was first married I was a new believer who grew up in a single family home. He always wanted to take on the role of providing and I am so thankful. He also comes from divorced home and really didn’t know his purpose or have any goals when we met. 10 years in there are some consequences that we are experiencing and I totally respect you sharing this information with women as we need it!! God is so faithful

[@B3BOP]

I saw the thumbnail and immediately said, what is Bindi doing with Tyler Perry?

[@nenyeo6090]

😂😂 lol

[@Jamestown5667]

I know right 😂 same thoughts here

[@lalpark]

The biggest problem with husband 2 and 3 is that they are not also actively trying to get a job to cover the bills, as if it’s not important.

[@abbagirl8819]

I thank God for my precious wise daughters and they will have a great provider, real love and respect. I bless them and their family . May The Lord increase r in wisdom, integrity, obedience and love.Give them peace ,healing and great success.Keep them close Lord in your arms.Faithful in your house.🎉

[@sherwood9917]

The letters that you read underline why Tyler Perry's advice is so destructive. Black women are socialized to accept the bare minimum; the Black Church plays a major role in that.

[@Rae_eLLe]

The Levitical call wasn't about charity. The other 11 tribes were commanded by God to set aside a certain amount for the Levites who were commanded to dedicate their life to priesthood to the Lord. Nothing about what that man is saying is Biblically sound. I can't say that he's doing it maliciously or misguided but it's 100% inaccurate. I also find it interesting the men who think they're called to ministry but simultaneously forget their first and primary ministry is their family. Men are called to be priests over their homes.

[@monabrown101]

My question is: WHERE do you find these christian, provider men tho? I really want to have a family of my own. Im 30 yrs old 😢

[@Fathersmadder]

I am so glad to hear such good honest godly advice I have been worried for my son Even though he wants nothing to do with the Christian women in this world At least the ones he sees His mom abandoned him Please pray for him 😢

[@denisegoddard4283]

A truly God fearing man would know and understand that God did not create men to lazy about, men are to keep busy to sastain and provide for their family its a comand, just as women are commanded to care for her husband and house hold. Their are roles to keep as a Christian couple and you can not run away from that because you marriages will look like those out in the world rather than what God set out marriage to be. Letter 1: has she had this conversation with this man considering its been 4 months into the relationship and she has all this in her head with a time line attached of roughly 2 years. Letter 2: i believe this husband has become complacent and comfortably with what being in the missionary life was, in tearns of relying on others rather than his own sweat to prove for his family and has not come out of that mind set. Because in all honesty that was never supposed to happen even as missionaries he was still supposed to be doing some form of work to sustain his home.

[@conquerortk385]

This is so good and well spoken. My pastor wrote a book and explained this well and gave us godly principles to prepare for marriage. I walked these principles out and married my qualified husband two months ago. And big yes on read the Bible and study scriptures on your own

[@batattack4567]

Title of book please?

[@Sarah-Bernice]

Title of book please

[@Zee.TheFinest]

What’s the name of the book and where can I get it ? 👀

[@andrewandleighannesmall-kr9hi]

Tyler Perry just Irks me so much.

[@briar.roseOG]

You share so much wisdom every video, every time! Thank you so much, you're like the big sister I never had. May God continue to bless you and your household immensely!

[@leahlevite1245]

Praise the Adon for allowing me to stumble unto your channel. I'm 19 years old currently in college but Yah willing, I want to be a housewife. I read the Bible for myself and I am living a biblical lifestyle. I lack a church community because I deemed it unnecessary. I never thought about the importance of having a church community. Having elders, and other men around to hold your husband accountable when he may be stumbling is a great assurance for us women indeed. I will keep your sound advice in mind when courting my future partner. Thank you!

[@Rae_eLLe]

I think there's a big difference between a man actively in pursuit of greater earnings and helping fill the gap for a moment; and a man who is just not providing enough income because he doesn't want to or feel the need to. If a man isn't in pursuit(not just wanting more money but doing the necessary steps to gain more income) of higher earnings you can expect that man to cruise through not providing enough and that not changing. I believe that to be scripturally inappropriate. If a woman is cool with living a lower income life then so be it; but if not, find another man.

[@r.walker7986]

The way our society is set up is people are all gonna operate on different levels and those levels will bring different levels of "provision" Capitalism is set up in a way that a significant portion of working society will make less, with inflation, those people will be able to provide less, sometimes less than is necessary for basic survival. the rent is high these days. So a two income arrangement is often a necessity if those people are going to try and have families. The issue with what Tyler said is he specifically pointed out black women and said they should be ok living on love and crumbs....

[@shaymay2892]

I'm glad you said it. It's Not Ok with me, if he only pays one bill. 😡

[@Jamestown5667]

We should pay all sis !

[@tajayatomlinson5298]

I’ve definitely been trying to build my relationship on the foundation of scripture according to Matthew 7 about the wise man who built his house on the rock vs the foolish man. I think it’s a tad ironic that not more Christians realize how much extremely practical advice there is in the Bible that if one studies and applies it, you gain so much wisdom!! I’m working on studying it a lot more so that I can become wiser!!

[@soniamugeni9195]

May God continue to give you wisdom Bindi! Wow you did it again. Said it like no one ever has. Thank you.

[@GeorgieFeatLove]

Seeing that you uploaded a video makes me so happy. Literally binge watched your whole channel already🙈

[@whenyouwishuponastar6643]

It really bothered me that Tyler Perry, a rich man who is NOT married and has no daughters (I’m pretty sure?) feels comfortable enough to say to the world that black women are better off being ok with a man who as a grown adult, can only pay a light bill, because he’s a “good man” which, I believe he means doesn’t cheat. Talk about the bare minimum. Part of being a good man is being willing to work and provide for your wife and children. Thank you for sharing biblical truth and wisdom for women! We let our hearts get in the way of our better judgement. To offer some encouragement to women, when I married my husband neither of us had a lot of money but we were both working very hard. In a few years after getting married his income grew a lot. I think if you’re looking at if a man is going to provide and he doesn’t already have the means, look at if he has the ambition, has the plan of action and has the work ethic, like is he currently in school? Does he have a solid business plan? Does he currently work a consistent job?

[@olaayoola169]

Re: Tyler Perrys Advice - His Context was quite different, the situation clear. Most times, I've noticed people like to squeeze advices meant for certain situations into theirs, which isn't necessarily same. He was clear with his advice. I think that a fine line that cuts through all situations is standing by/accepting the consequences of our decisions when realize it. Then, asking for God's guidance through it. Its hard, but the truth! This has to be told to young people and couples. Thanks Bindi

[@barbarapatriciaharrison3853]

What do you do if the elders of the Church are not quite living the life ? When one has had two wives and the other treats his wife dreadfully ? That's not somewhere you want to go for advice .😊

[@TwiFiveGirls101]

Change churches. If you don't respect the lifestyle of the pastor you shouldn't be under their stewardship.

[@pattyhansen7563]

um. hello. go to a different church.

[@GanEdenHolisticHealth]

Tyler Perry is completely full of it on this one. He is setting up black women to be resentful and unhappy with very complacent, low-earning men which will only lead to more of them ending up as divorced single mothers, broken homes and fatherless children!

[@cyretaoduniyi2894]

Sis, I love your honesty , grace and firmess on this series ! Whew love it ❤️

[@KeziaKNwafor]

U definitely nailed it. God bless you woman of God

[@terristrange]

Potential = poortential.

[@Flinabin]

Good one 😅!!

[@TaureanDreams]

I love this!

[@nyabalang7265]

I love this sister ❤ loveeee the glasses and your anointed glow is radiant ❤❤

[@eulicehooper6340]

I was in full time ministry and you raise funds for a living. It is a job. I don’t agree with the ministry model but we worked hard to raise funds and do all the other things we did for the kingdom.

[@conchitasnacks]

I was raised that a Man has to be able to take care of himself to become a man, once you can take care of yourself, then you will be able to take care of a family. If you depend on anything, then your still a dependent/child. Now certain things always said in the house, never try to out hustle a hustler.Some of these concerns sound like people that hustle. IMO saying im a entrepreneur to me sounds like a hustle, saying im unemployed and looking for work is honest, many men learn how to live off of women or family members. Now just an opinion but if a man can take care of himself and love his wife/partner but only makes so much money, if he is a good person and honest and god fearing and would die for his wife then i think if the wife earns more they should break down bills evenly on there income. If he makes 50000$ then pay 50% of his income on bills, if the wife makes 100000$ then she pay 50% of her income on bills while they try and invest for life insurance and retirement with that. Just opinions.

[@Mary-dk7mc]

You are very beautiful Bindi

[@TaureanDreams]

This video is the truth!!!! Bindi you said a word!

[@salinakharkovskiy]

All of this is so true 🙌🏾 Bindi spot on this will make some feel uncomfortable but truth is truth I love that you mention some may not know what is to seek biblically in a husband as far as providing

[@acciopris]

I am loving these longer videos and deep dives so enjoyable and insightful to listen through as I go on with my day thank you❤

[@Offthebeatenpath.]

20:50 I am finishing this up while staining and you are hilarious 😂😂

[@candaces2010]

I’ve chuckled myself.

[@coach_thandi2]

This is interesting topic personally I think women should be emotionally stable before they commit to marriage. the women who wants a have fearing man and wants to be stay home mom she needs to wait for the man who will provide because she’s going to be frustrated in that marriage trust me and she must not think she’s going to pray for him to be a provider ….. there might also be issues of self sabotage in herself. I hope it make sense 🙏. Full time or fool time? 😢