Bolin x Eska - Why Female on Male Abuse is NOT FUNNY.

[@Nellipusen]

YES!!! I hATE the whole "big man getting abused by liddol girl! LOL!" with a burning passion. Not only does it normalise that kind of abuse to both the women doing it and the men who are victims of it, it ALSO makes it harder for those men to get out of those relationships and seek help because, on top of being abused, they also have to worry about being ridiculed!

[@mertensiam3384]

EXACTLY! i really, really hate these kinds of ships specifically for the implications, it not only causes what you said, but it also makes it harder for those who are victims of it because it's, after all, getting normalized and that makes other people not see the problems with the relationship and/or make the man look like he's exagerating or that he wants to break up because "he doesn't have the control"

[@juliusnepos6013]

Definitely!

[@ChimeraLotietheBunny]

Agreed

[@cannoliwavestudios2817]

Bolin is amazing he deserves the best and this ain’t it.

[@Wtftnt097]

He is shit sokka version

[@WolfmanArt]

I've been in abusive relationships in the past.. several times. As a guy, I find how entertainment tries to make fun of it really bothersome...

[@Shinobi_X18]

Me too

[@Texas113]

I’m so sorry you had to feel that hope your doing much better

[@Mr.EintheMorning]

Your descriptions make me think of a certain quote from Friendship is Magic. "Is this meant to be HUMOROUS?!"

[@lapindurand778]

For the Eska-Bolin relationship, I did not think it was "he had it coming", because the audience clearly saw that she was crazy - but more "it does not have serious consequence for Bolin, he's a guy, he's not going to get really hurt by a girl, that is not a thing". I really agree with everything you said - for modern exemple, I think about Klaus - where the relation starts with the girl hitting the guy in the face - and it is treated as romantic.

[@TheWulfDen1]

abuse is abuse, and the examples that you used is why i don't watch a lot of those shows, like simpsons and i have to entirely skip episodes in ed edd and eddy if they have the kankers in it.

[@maldon3659]

Kankers? More like Skankers am I right?

[@carlacarrero4975]

I think the Kankers aren’t really there to make fun of abuse men but more of a vision on how male children see girls with the she has coodies type of thing while nazz represents a child’s first crush I think it was just there to relate to the kids who believe in coodies

[@EChacon]

I wholeheartedly agree the relationship of Bolin and Eska was a Toxic and Abusive relationship. It's also not in Korra, but also in other movies, shows and games such as Ed, Edd n Eddy and Kids Next Door. Thanks for the video Toonstarterz.

[@gumballwatterson5037]

yeah, like numbuh 1 and lizzie

[@SomePkmnlovingdude]

Sucks how this double standard is still being used in media to this day.

[@SomePkmnlovingdude]

@Blockhead006 Yeah, people claim that it's not as funny anymore, yet they KEEP USING IT FOR COMEDY!!! What hypocrites. -_-

[@SomePkmnlovingdude]

@Blockhead006 The world we live in today, huh?

[@austinjohnsen4430]

We also had another creepy and disturbing relationship in Korra, albeit one that happened offscreen, Tenzin x Lin. We got that moment in season two where Lin reminisces about how she trashed Tenzin’s home after their breakup. She clearly still takes quite a bit of satisfaction with that years after it happened, and that of course is also played for laughs.

[@TalesofanEnigma]

watching book 2 I hated the relationship between them, plus her laugh gave me nightmares. and the worst part about it is when it was over eska wasn't even held accountable for putting bolin through torment.

[@maldon3659]

Plus she did work with her father and her brother to take over the world which is even worse

[@TalesofanEnigma]

@@maldon3659 ikr

[@firemiracle]

I totally agree on this. I may be a woman but i cannot stand the "women beat up man for laughs" trope. Especially on guy characters who are pretty likable and sweet. And the fact that this is a trope is used for laughs?? Hell no. A perfect example that i hate this trope is sam and freddy from icarly, as a kid, i freaking hated sam for how she always treated freddy, freddy is a very sweet character and yet sam always tries to hurt him or insult him in almost every single episode, and all for what? Because sam loves him... and yet so many fans loves them as a couple! Like... no. And then we have those stupid annoying tsundere girls in anime... my god, like how can they expect their crush to love them back if they will just freaking hurt them or insult them, like they shouldn't complain at all when the guy character decides to date another girl when it's their own damn fault for not being truly honest with their feelings. Now if a girl character beats up a guy when he is trying to hurt her on purpose, then that's totally fine. But hurting a guy who isn't a terrible person is not ok.

[@jillianefaithcobre8637]

This makes me trouble to think it while writing a story.

[@Muzer0]

Yeah, the fact that this was played for laughs was frankly the first warning sign about season 2's general crapness... It's a somewhat common trope to make light of abusive relationships like this one but that doesn't make it any less shitty.

[@sadlobster1]

This kind of trope has also put The Loud House in some serious hot water on MULTIPLE occasions. Need I remind anyone of No Such Luck, Dance Dance Resolution or Brawl in the Family

[@mysticalkeyblade759]

Yeah Lincoln got beaten up

[@sadlobster1]

@@mysticalkeyblade759 Far too many times, to be exact

[@redguyslave409]

Bro, thank you!!

[@coolhubbeats753]

Thank God I'm not the only one who hated Bolin and Eska's relationship.

[@niapurdue230]

Agreed, agreed!! It's so uncomfortable...

[@bunnyconcubus8468]

I always hated it and wish they switched it up a bit.

[@isobel9195]

We need more healthy relationships in the media especially cartoons!

[@jillianefaithcobre8637]

Yup, and this make me hate the broke up scenes too!

[@amandak.5967]

I agree!! It's cringy and not only hurts the guy but makes the woman/girl character look terrible. Like those cringy non-con vibing scenes in Killing Joke (Batman x Batgirl) and Batman and Harley Quinn (Nightwing x Harley Quinn). I also hate it when sexism/misogyny is played off for laughs or not really addressed because it's the main character 'they can't really be that bad' -- thinking of Superboy in Reign of the Supermen.

[@AmeliChin-yf8zl]

Also Bolin was made very uncomfortable when a fan gave him a stuffed doll of himself. I didn't see if he liked the gift but probably not because Pabu usually symbolizes reflecting his personality. Like Pabu's eyes are blank and black but his eyes are green but from a distance look pale like it's entirely sclera. Pabu tore up the doll, which, this is sort of a reach but not only the guardians of kids put cameras in dolls it's also child s*xual abusers. There's lots of implications that Bolin's not that old like he called himself a "growing boy" roughly the third episode in ch. 1 because he used money to buy groceries. So his part as Nuktuk is probably about how actresses get preyed on, and their characters only exist for s*x appeal because he was forced to wear a costume he didn't think matched the part, and when he dangles from a bird's talons with everybody forgetting about him it shows he's being used. When Eska is going to let everyone die she stopped because Bolin loves her, which is similar to Frollo in the hunchback of notre dame singing "she will be mine or she will burn" about esmerelda. also there was a joke about Lin the chief of police touching his fly that suggested s*xual harassment so I can see where the idea in the video that Bolin getting s*xually harassed had no reason and even worse was on nickelodeon, which already had dan sneider(the part in the video I'm pretty sure is refrencing this when it talks about the creators having disgusting f*t*sh*s. I like Bolin because he's a gentle---man, and like in the video it's weird that they switched the roles around like in who gets abused wise. also Mako says "bolin has a knack for getting into stupid situations", so, he's victim blaming because Bolin thinks people follow the rules and everybody has respect for your personal space but they just made a social oopsie when they accidentally zip up your fly.

[@AmeliChin-yf8zl]

Also the warnig signs of s*x**l ab*se of children, one of them is normal pat on the arm, and overreacting when somebody especially the kid is questioning it, it's called "grooming". My observation is probably wrong but why is it Bolin specifically is treated like he's a girl(btw I'm a girl).

[@jeremy1860]

Abuse should never be seen as funny, and we need to call it out whenever it turns up 😟

[@SamuelRondreigz4720]

I know this was a year ago but Miraculous Ladybug pisses me off so much. Cat Noir has NO WINS, yes I like characters to lose, but to have no wins in like 5 seasons is ridiculous. Ladybug has at max 5 loses ever.

[@Legomicroman]

one of my reasons, why i loathe the Tsundere-Trope.

[@riderblaze6819]

Im probably getting banned for this but there´s this scene in Helluva Boss ep 3 that i´ve recintly watched and it was about Moxxie (one of the main protagonist) getting sexually assaulted by Verosika (Blitzo´s ex and Moxxie employer) and her goons. I was like... WTF?!. Because that litterlly came out of fucking nowhere and only to get back at Blitzo for their break up. All Moxxie did was go her office and politly requested to give him and his company back their parking spot. It was played for laughs and almost no one blinked an eye on it. I´ve even read people comments trying to excuse this with a lot of stupid comebacks like "it´s hell" "they are demons" "they are succubus... kind of their thing" "Moxxie did came with demands, he only ended up in the bad side of negotiations" so on and so forward. It was kind of hypocrate because Angel, a male gay character from Hazbin Hotel, is abuse by his boss, and the show wants me to feel bad for him. And i feel bad for him. But when it happens to Moxxie it´s like "HAHAHAHAH MOXXIE GETTING BULLY FOR NO REASON AGAIN"... Come on, seriously? Even if it was to show that Verosika and her posse where sexual deviants, this joke does not work. Like AT ALL. It was not funny, it only makes the character an unlikeble WHORE.

[@Legomicroman]

to be frank, considering the scene with Moxxie you just described, it makes the episode of villifying Stella ring a bit hollow, in terms of "representation of male abuse victims".

[@riderblaze6819]

@@Legomicroman In what way?? Because to me, when S2E1 came, the way they portrayed Stella as an abuser was their way to "he's this way because he's suffering, it's not his fault". Which is just BULLSHIT.

[@maldon3659]

Spoilers: It's not a show but in Persona 5, there's a scene where Ryuji gets beaten up by the girls after he comes back alive because they thought he died in an explosion after he saved the team from drowning and afterwards they just leave him lying on the street, this was a very odd scene in an otherwise great game

[@emhaggsart]

Totally agree that this is an issue. It’s a huge double standard. I think the Eska/Bolin thing wouldn’t have been as bad if they didn’t have that last scene like you said. I was initially on Mako’s side thinking Bolin was just acting, but then Bolin’s reaction to Makos saying he was acting made it seem like it might’ve been genuine? Like I think before this the show definitely showed that this relationship was not good. And sure, they definitely played it for laughs a lot which is not okay. But then by making Bolin seem to forgive her and want her back just reversed everything we learned about Eska treating Bolin terribly? It was a poor choice on the writers part for sure.

[@tommyjackson5520]

This trope in anime should die like the gangdam style dance did in 2016

[@Tazer_Silverscar]

Wow, that Looney Toons Show... glad I never watched it, it looks like pure poison >.> Actually, after looking it up... like every animated version of Lola post-Space Jam has been awful, wtf... That awfully stripped down style that looks like it was made in Microsoft Word just hurts my eyes to look at >.

[@zubaydahtalukdar8088]

3:26 - Yes!! Someone FINALLY acknowledged how incredibly toxic and problematic the Seddie ship really was 💢☣️⚠️🤮, could NOT stand it!!! Ugh!! 😤

[@turkinator1375]

Absolutely agree. Actually all the relationships pre season 3 left a nasty taste in my mouth

[@gumballwatterson5037]

this is also the case for numbuh 1 and lizzie in knd

[@willwoodall234]

IMO Li moon and varrick relationship was sorta toxic too, by the way he treated her.

[@sadlobster1]

This is why I don't fully love Nami's character in One Piece. Just like Eska was to Bolin, SHE is just as vicious to Luffy (both in a physical AND verbal sense.) But for some bizarre reason, people not only find it "funny;" which contradicts this video's topic. They also claim Luffy deserves to be so viciously beaten. Sure...he may have made a few mistakes, like almost accidentally tossing a suitcase full of money into water or spending a lot of the ship's savings on meat. But there were plenty of times where he DIDN'T deserved to be pulverized by Nami and the REST of the crew. Such examples include choosing to trade the Mermaid Kingdom's gold to Big Mom for the people's safety, almost revealing his crew were friends with Samurai to the Mink Tribe and tearing Nami's winter coat on Drum Island during his fight with Wahpol. Anyone who loves females abusing males in shows are...rather disturbed people

[@carlacarrero4975]

The reason why people say luffy deserves the beating is because he is crazy and says and those reckless things that put the crew and himself in danger also the other crew members hit and insult him too it’s not just Nami and compare to what his grandpa does that seems like nothing in comparison there’s also the element of slap humor which happens in almost every form of media and anime so I woudnt really count this as the male gets abuse by female in one piece cause almost everyone hits luffy because of the reckless idiot and straight man dynamic now naruto on the other hand would’ve been a perfect example

[@sadlobster1]

@@carlacarrero4975 That doesn't change the fact that such scenes aren't funny

[@carlacarrero4975]

@@sadlobster1 fair I feel the same too it's kinda one of the reasons why even with it's flaws I still like my hero academia

[@TheRedRoseofJujutsuKaisen]

See this is why I’m not into anime as much anymore because I always see this constant trope of “oh male looks at female, female gets mad than slap him” and it’s supposed to be funny. It’s not unoriginal, annoying, and it’s giving out a unhealthy stereotype that all men are perverts who think with their dicks. Granted some of the man seeing women naked is by accident, but I *absolutely* hate this trope and the stupid fan service of naked girls

[@anthonysandoval5512]

While I do agree they could definitely tone Nami hitting Luffy and the others down a bit there are sometimes where it can be funny. The reasons I watch cartoons and amime is so I can escape the real word and it's many problems and this is a good example of it. It's fine if you disagree with me but it's my opinion and that doesn't make me a disturbed person just because I laugh at something you don't think is funny

[@pedanticat9479]

I 100% agree with this video! Though yeesh, I never realized just how bad the Eska and Bolin romance was. Seriously, why is this franchise so bad at writing romances?!

[@Ra_the_Sun_god]

I’m sure my mom is abuseive to my dad . She make me and the sister join hurting him. Oh I have a bad home life I’m 13 send help plz I don’t want to move life is fuck up

[@OmegaChase1002]

Abuse is never funny, regardless of which gender is doing it to which other gender. Do women think this sort of humor is them "getting back" at men cuz man on woman abuse used to be normal? Cuz that still doesn't automatically make it ok.

[@milktoast633]

That could possibly be the reason but when you consider the fact this show was written by two men, it could’ve just came from the stereotype that men are stronger then women and wouldn’t care about the abuse. Even tho that’s a huge lie

[@Pawning]

Women aren't all the ones taking up the laughs, it's mostly men who think it's okay about this, or that any guy who experience this type of stuff is lucky. There's even an episode of South Park that dealt with this issue. And of the main themes is the cops saying how Ike (Who is only a toddler) is lucky because he got molested by his teacher

[@OmegaChase1002]

@@Pawning i think its both

[@jillianefaithcobre8637]

And also another reason why girls stories didn’t work so well is because of THIS!

[@hopdragons3039]

PLEASE do more korra if you like it!

[@RDawn]

hard agree

[@Lexi_Zone]

This is definitely part of a larger problem. People say "people wouldn't think this was okay if the genders were reversed," but you'd be surprised how many people are more than okay with it, and there's plenty of media out there that still caters to them. The main difference is that female on male noncon is played for laughs, but male on female noncon is played for titilation. Neither portray it right, obviously, but both are still a big problem that need to be tackled together.

[@veethefangal1558]

I hate this trope with a passion.. it has never been funny and it never will be funny. Abuse is abuse no matter the gender of the victim or the abuser themselves , the world needs to stop seeing this as a joke and see how fucked up this trope is...

[@_trey.the.deity_]

I thought that Eska's brother was a girl....I'm stupid 😹🤦🏾‍♂️

[@msleavemealone]

I literally shipped and seen nothing wrong with them back when I first watched tlok, it wasn't until now that people point out their toxicity. I found them cute

[@tudordumitrache4644]

Its not abusive , Its dominant and and domibant girls are very badass

[@little.prince]

I wholeheartedly agree with this. It's so harmful to both genders and I hope it stops being a thing😔

[@jillianefaithcobre8637]

Don’t forget about anime girls, tsundere or not tsundere beating up the anime guys is just so wrong and unwatchable to some peope.

[@xSoporific1]

Facts

[@lifewithlee6298]

There was an episode where Bart cuts Maggie hair so she looks like him and homer almost strangled Maggie ( but homer horrified

[@DREWSONLEARNING]

I think this might be one of bolin's worst relationships because she was abusive and toxic and l really didnt like it

[@TheBatIsRad6435]

I agree with you but I can at least give the kankers sisters some credit, they’re are at least portrayed as antagonists and even the other kids in the culedsac weren’t like “oh look at that, those guys are so weak letting themselves being pushed around by girls” cause they (like the eds) were jsut as scared of the kankers. (Which speaks volumes comepare to characters like tootie and panini)

[@snbsixteen6stars201]

It Never was funny

[@J1NZUU]

if she aint like this ion want her

[@kimberlybogert-nemeth4760]

I can't really spell there names at the moment and am not a big time jojo fan I've only watch part 5 and 4 but..4 kinda has this going on a bit😌..I mean it's not like it for very long but..idk how I feel about that ship in 4..But yeah this stuff really needs to stop and am a girl saying this.😅💗

[@NakanoMiku-chan-z2m]

you mean yukiko?

[@kimberlybogert-nemeth4760]

@@NakanoMiku-chan-z2m I look up her name on Yt I think it's spell differently?..but yeah she does get better tho I suppose..😅am sorry I'm bad with names essentially jp names and I'm new to jojo even tho I've know about this anime series for years but I just thought it wasn't for me.😌😅

[@NakanoMiku-chan-z2m]

@@kimberlybogert-nemeth4760 it's ok I'm not good with spelling. She does get better in part to koichi influence.

[@kimberlybogert-nemeth4760]

@@NakanoMiku-chan-z2m yeah she does^^am sorry I take awhile to reply sometimes I just feel a bit awkward when it comes to replying sometimes.😅

[@NakanoMiku-chan-z2m]

@@kimberlybogert-nemeth4760 it's ok

[@katiaazizi]

it was a odd relationship to me. so I agree

[@heinrichkrull2523]

When a show about LEGO ninjas, takes this topic more seriously, then a series that supposed to be more grown up. In Ninjago there are 2 characters that show an abusive relationship, where the abuser is a girl and the victim is a boy, but I don't want to spoil what happens, so for it watch "Sons of Garmadon", "Hunted" and she gets referenced in the episodes "Secret of the wolf", "Stop drop and sidescroll" and "Into the Dark".

[@JessicaRodriguez-bg6gu]

Eska look weird and show no emotion.

[@Storm6976]

I would have liked to see you talk about how you would have handled their relationship differently. Also having healthy consensual relationships doesn't need to be the golden standard. Having characters that abuse their partner or have abused them in the past and get away scot-free can lead to very interesting storys/characters/relationships all on their own (that obviously didn't happen with Eska). Evil can be fun and interesting that's why we often love villains even though they're horrible people. That goes for the serious stuff like abuse(interesting) all the way to slapstick(fun).

[@kennethherrera588]

Personally I'm a sucker for DOM male or female(not enough to condone degrading or physical abuse to a person) Plus how eska show her immediate "I'm the top" flex, no joke she definitely plays the game(conflicted of abuse yes, but somehow like a Chad moment respect!). But really abuser(male, female or whichever of the spectrum)force on someone that's not right or healthy for those decent kind of people!

[@naturerules8816]

👍

[@sora4440]

I think it was supposed to be a joke and funny. Much like everything surrounding Bolin's character. It was not supposed to be taken serious. Folks look into this thing too much...

[@cannoliwavestudios2817]

Marrinte is my least favorite character. She barely has any consequences for being so weird

[@kelsey1467]

Helga from hey arnold acts the same way and people love her

[@carlacarrero4975]

@@kelsey1467 because she actually grows and we learn more about her each episode and she gets called out by Arnold

[@kelsey1467]

@@carlacarrero4975 she's a good character I agree but what makes Helga different from Marinette they both kind of have stalker tendencies

[@TDTRondas]

To be fair, Korra is all about modern life problems (man vs society stuff from literary analysis by Grant Snider), and Bolin tring to get help from his relationship with Eska is part of that problem, however; I think it's true that the writers didn't know how to solve the toxic relationship issue, so they just made Eska to be the one breaking up with Boling at the end of the season. By the way, I really think that the production knew what they were doing since everything parts from how unhealthy a relationship may be and its level of toxicity, so they really made Bolin and Eska the extreme part where you learn to hate what is happening (breaking my first statement and making this more a man vs man [partner] issue from classical literature conflict).

[@carlacarrero4975]

Nah they just wrote that relationship because just like duncney they thought it would be funny not because they genuinely wanted to explore themes of abuse cause season 1 and 4 showed us how they handled themes of abuse and that ain’t it

[@JeanneFeisont]

Wahhh. Bolin had it great with Eska tbh

[@tamikane4629]

When I first watched season 2, I was disturbed by how Eska treated Bolin. I was actually hoping they didn't end together, cause poor Bolin was gonna suffer a lot. I don't understand how the writers thought this was okay.

[@d.a.a.coolturtle2474]

I like Eska and Bolin, I don’t think this couple can be called very obnoxious. The thing is that Eska and Desna are a prince and a princess, they are used to living like this and don’t know how to do it any other way. Eska is not a bad character, she defended Bolin many times, thought about him, loved him, but she showed it the way she was used to. Only by the time they began to break up did Eska begin to learn to be more lively and tender, but, alas, her relationship with Bolin did not develop further. I think it's a guy like Bolin - sincere, kind, sensitive and bright - that this cold Queen needs.

[@firstlast1598]

Lol get triggered it was funny This was Bolins character arc for him to finally realize that he needs to stop being a pushover Honestly this is offensive to those who have suffered actual relationship abuse

[@negressprincess]

Are we going to ignore the fact Bolin kissed Ginger without her consent

[@redguyslave409]

no, but what does that have to do with the video? Sure, it was wrong of him, but does that mean he deserved to be fucking abused and Eska is in the right?? Hell no

[@thewolfgangresults8433]

EXCUSE ME MEN ARE WAY MORE ABUSIVE WHERE JUST TRYING TO DEFEND OURSELVES