Bootleg Star Wars: Return of the Fakes

[@AllenZrust]

I don't like cheap paint. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

[@AllenZrust]

Ridog_ I try.

[@yadabub]

Have some sand. And a bit of gravel. Add some cement. Enjoy the concrete.

[@yadabub]

Don't forget the water. Or the sand.

[@kennethmalone4689]

Anakin is not amused with your apparent effort at mockery.

[@mobius273]

And causes lead poisoning

[@scottcowan7343]

Imagine a bootleg boss Nass figure. I shiver at the thought.

[@sup209]

There has to be some out there. If there's a bootleg Biggs, then there's probably a bootleg Boss Nass.

[@zachduperron8543]

Oh god!

[@nicholsjoshua15]

He would be thin and handsome.

[@jenniferdunstan5065]

@@sup209 and he would be called boos niss

[@bentramer682]

What about a bootleg Jabba

[@DCXanatos]

Woke my family up laughing at 'Post Death Star explosion Biggs Darklighter'. Brilliant!

[@VladyO]

"Why didn't Chewie get a medal?" Welp, that didn't age well.

[@finngray1476]

Yes outdated

[@thesuperloregod4815]

These Bootleg figures are based on: 2013 Biggs Darklighter 2002 Jango Fett 2013 Episode 2 Anakin Skywalker 2013 Padme Amadala 2013 Darth Vader 2013 Clone Pilot 2013 Clone Sargent 2007 Luke Skywalker 2011 R2-D2 2015 BB-8

[@staley101]

That's dedication. Or a good collectors guide.

[@Dogasupreme]

BB-Eugh*

[@siotsoni9854]

These "lightsabers" remind me oddly much of The Penetrator from Saints Row 3.

[@ILikeToLaughAtYou]

Oh they're not light sabers.

[@Beefaronii_]

Light Penetrators

[@tacticaldumbass2914]

The " dong blade "

[@purpleYamask]

This is why the official toys try using transparent colored plastic-

[@ChrisHominski]

thats not Biggs, that's Stinky Diver! A former navy commando with an attitude as bad as his odor!

[@lasarousi]

I wonder if meltman also made a comeback

[@justindoyle9024]

topher minski oh fuck you're right

[@FelixTheGhost]

Needs a Prometheus action figure.

[@dicapriodelorean2888]

meltman came back as boba fett

[@glub-kitchen-imp]

topher minski The show shall be called "Star Action League Wars Now"

[@randolfiserman5201]

"What will the children want to play with this Christmas?" The desiccated corpses of their favorite Star Wars characters. "Yes, of course"

[@RFC3514]

7:18 - They didn't forget to turn his arm around; they just assembled that one with *two left arms*.

[@KasumiRINA]

Well, whoever assembled it must have done it with his own *two left arms*

[@fallenwolf3368]

@@KasumiRINA or did you mean they assembled it with there two left feet?

[@bentramer682]

They molded it from a poseable figure who's arm happened to be turned over and shot the goo in the mold, i assume.

[@ShiftyMoses]

padme's been playing with homer's make up shotgun

[@TheWizardGandy]

Is that a bootleg Ashens couch?

[@tti3326]

ITS MY CHARACTER! I'M THE TRASH MAN! I COME OUT, I THROW TRASH, ALL OVER, ALL OVER THE RING! AND THEN, I START EATING GARBAGE! AND THEN I PICK UP THE TRASH CAN, AND I BASH THE GUY WITH IT!

[@bagelman10]

V

[@lettucefire]

ashens spared no expense in ikea for his office furniture it seems :)

[@leecairnduff8021]

+sine moderamine It is

[@5HREDD3R]

Poundland has a furniture department now.

[@FunnyQuackers]

They have seen horrors we have yet to experience as the human race.. Some of them even mutated through hundreds of generations of suffering...

[@juankilograno4128]

i play porkemon go everyday

[@juankilograno4128]

i play pokemon go

[@ijakerz93]

MemesDisgustMe I lold

[@juankilograno4128]

when i wake up

[@TheDutchGhost]

Perhaps they are from a future in which the stars are right/in position and the Old Ones have returned to reclaim this Earth.

[@bobriemersma]

I have no grandchildren but I feel it is my duty to obtain a cache of these as Christmas gifts. I'd hate to disappoint the hypothetical future urchins by failng in my grandparental responsibilities.

[@autumnleaf3667]

I love how when you put luke down, Leia went in for a big hug.

[@Wemius61]

The intro music was PERFECT. Recognisable, yet different enough to avoid the attention of copyright lawyers...

[@SchlubbyTomHanks]

those lightsabers though. Maybe the Star Wars universe has rubbery lightsabers like those that exist as practical jokes.

[@Cubulation]

The intro to these are so well done. The just wrong theme music is perfect

[@deanokken8960]

Why is Biggs molded after Ringo Starr?

[@DimerNL]

The clone engineer as you called it actually has 2 of the same arm.

[@ronaldpaterni5081]

Yes, I think so, too.

[@myomadd]

This is like the kind of shit my mom would buy me as a kid after spending all our money on booze and realising it was my birthday the next day.

[@justliam2768]

Ahhhhh...memories :)

[@PcJoe243]

oh

[@MrDirrtyg]

cute story

[@jkd91]

Wait, your mom didn't smack you on your birthday and say how its your fault her life is so shit and on top of that got presents, someones lived the high life.

[@TheLastPhoen1x]

Cool! I never had booze on my birthday when i was a kid :(

[@BloodfelX]

10:40 I like how on the far-left it appears as if Luke is trying to ignore Padme's advances. For obvious reasons.

[@AmericaTheEnslaved]

always love how the title music sounds like the star wars theme, but is different enough not to get sued.

[@TheHutchy01]

It's like the star wars theme if you've been spray painting in a small room and are high as a fuckin' kite.

[@imwithstupid086]

I love that Jon Willems score at the beginning.

[@GmodCaboose56]

Vader's noodle saber made me laugh more than it should

[@satansashhole8639]

What the fuck is up with the new ass couch?????? I kinda like it

[@red_freckle]

Presumably this was not shot at Stuart's home.

[@satansashhole8639]

that would make scene

[@sadladd]

Aaand cut! That's a rap everyone! We make scene!

[@satansashhole8639]

i r g00d at the sp3lling wut r u make da joke at me LAWLZ

[@arinjaybhattacharya6563]

probably a new cover for the couch

[@heidifedor]

Maybe these are the "Star Wars" characters from the Bizzaro universe.

[@williamlydon2554]

The sad part, that "Boba" mold was legit sold by Harbro in that manner, i was bummed as hell when i took him out of the box, and found him in that Alkward pose.

[@LadyBernkastel92]

I'm not a big Star Wars fan, and I know the prequels were real bad and all that, but the fact that the knock of Padmé figure started hugging the knock off Luke figure as soon as he was put near her made me really happy for some reason. She's a proud (knockoff) mom!

[@DragonslayerProd]

Ooooh, first one here! Let me make a joke! The Ouya.

[@KillThad]

Sad, but true.

[@itzspencerr1403]

I have a better one! PCP Station

[@thesecretroman]

Dragon's Layer Productions I may have laughed more than I am proud to admit

[@JoeshinXD]

NAILED T! haha

[@TechniqueSan]

I have one and it runs the shit out of emulators. Can't complain

[@Iootman]

11th, thats twice as good as 1th

[@botdfbvb]

No? Twice as good would be 2nd

[@Zekkinful]

In a multitude of 2, it's impossible to get 11. Though I am only including whole numbers.

[@TheCandidPygmy]

Oneth.

[@creepycandy-zr9ui]

firth

[@tigeruppercut5475]

3st

[@Lordx718]

I like the authentic 'post ski trip" Sonny Bono figure.

[@jamestarrou3685]

I love hear two grown adults giggling like dorks at their star wars toys. Hilarious video

[@ilikethecokev2]

A custom R2-D2 soda fountain WOULD be pretty sweet to own.

[@AtheistOrphan]

ilikethecokev2 - Or a pedal bin?

[@ilikethecokev2]

Atheist Orphan Eh, that's too cliche.

[@MRG978]

This new couch somehow made me realize I've been watching Ashens for over 5 years since the pop station videos. Probably the youtuber I've followed longest

[@pristinepastel]

wow even the themes bootleg in a way lollo

[@EVEmasta]

he didn't mean for it to be like that

[@Yawyna124]

@EVEmasta I'm quite sure that was the point of it. It sounds stylistically like the star wars theme, but isn't the theme.

[@rifqihatta]

copyright issues

[@Beanoz4]

Pristine Pastel well it's done to sound like Star Wars because he can't use the real theme

[@Takeshi357]

Nah, it sounds too good. What they should be using is the original theme, but a shitty off-note cover version of it with kazoos or something

[@OllamhProductions]

Apparently they ran out of right fore arms on the first clone trooper. It's literally just a left arm flipped upside down.

[@georgesears934]

Clones don't have to look the same. Take me for example, I'm a "perfect" clone of the legendary Big Boss yet I also very clearly have paler skin, more pronounced cheek bones, a thinner nose, and less sunken in eyes (well... eye, anyway...). I did manage to perfectly inherent dad's massive forehead, which is nice. I also sound nothing like him, strangely enough, though that's probably because I don't chain smoke "medicinal" cigars all day. In all seriousness differences in womb conditions, nutrition, and general environmental factors can have dramatic effects on the appearance of cloned organisms and can make them look wildly different from the thing they're cloned from even if they're genetically identical.

[@hannabelphaege3774]

Thanks, former president George Sears. That was very informative.

[@georgesears934]

Remember kids, knowledge is power, and knowing is half the battle! Which is precisely why The La Li Lu Le Lo want to control the flow of information to the masses and hand select what memes get passed on to the next generation of slaves. Don't be a slave to their insidious machinations, DEATH TO THE PATR10TS!

[@segatortoise5455]

+Harvey Chesterfield President of the United States?

[@quaramher]

The clone troopers were mass produced to look like Jango and matured quicker than him.

[@georgesears934]

+Jason Martin So did I. I'm 36 in my profile picture. Still ended up different looking, and I imagine since Boba was raised differently than other clones and not given the accelerated aging, hence why he isn't dead by "Return of the Jedi", there's quite a possibility that there'd be some distinct differences between the two.

[@RoyHess666]

Ashens, once again you made me laugh. A lot! Many thanks!

[@noisytim]

oooh! A new couch... fancy !

[@mollineux]

Nope, just at a office.

[@GalanDun]

Dr. Ashen's psychiatrist office.

[@AgentTasmania]

Dr Ashen never did anything with his Psychology doctorate, the office is for Youtubing.

[@P5YcHoKiLLa]

5:00 Anakin looks like a single mother who has just been told her child benefit has been cut

[@shortbreadhead]

but the brown couch :( noooo

[@thatguywhogames9930]

10:42 Padme is getting a little fresh with Luke.

[@ronaldpaterni5081]

Oh, that did it...now I've got to find the brain soap...

[@Arrowdodger]

I see you started with Charles Bronson after a severe head injury.

[@RealJasonSmall]

The "authentic battle damage" line is beautiful!

[@GalanDun]

Why does Anakin's face look like Episode I Obi-Wan? Why does his wife look like Rey? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH BIGGS AND BOBA?!

[@AgentTasmania]

Combined with Cdr Data.

[@drxshock6957]

Biggs is on Krokodil and Boba is on LSD

[@spottyskunk1898]

You two and the Vader/Palpatine dialogue was one of the funniest bits!

[@Reddsoldier]

that clone engineer looked like Charles II of Spain! ahahah

[@theahegaofaces9054]

or México

[@Reddsoldier]

boywritesmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/charles_ii_spain.jpg I beg to differ.

[@ZacHawkins42]

Reddsoldier You win the internet 😂

[@benjaminmiddaugh2729]

The world seems to have a disturbing lack of historical royalty action figures.

[@TheSaucepanBuran]

That is quite possibly the most hilarious thumbnail in all of KZbin.

[@Fugnuk2047]

That last clip, it's like the special needs version of star wars. I've never laughed so hard.

[@ToaOfFusion]

"I find your lack of quality disturbing." -Darth Vader upon seeing the existence of these bootlegs

[@-The-Darkside]

Where did you find the knock off star wars music?

[@Gaming_auf_Ex]

Babafett can do a Mario 64 Rocket Boost Ass Stomp attack with this Jetpack .

[@LiamAnthony_]

Avengers... A-ctually, stay home for this one.

[@D3LT4-]

i cant imagine how many figures he has reviewd for the past 10 years

[@donk1823]

I have the legitimate version of that Biggs Darklight figure! It's wonderfully detailed and doesn't look like an eternally screaming pile of shit!

[@TheBokkelul]

Darth Vader: "There *is* no lightsaber" *continues to bend the lightsaber with the force*

[@s3n4]

Does Alec have his own youtube channel where he does this stuff? The videos you make together are absolute gold.

[@midlifecrisi]

Love the way it looks like Padme's trying to get it on with Luke in the background.

[@baronvonpanzer6594]

Biggs* never was the same after the accident.

[@ILikeToLaughAtYou]

Spellcheck? I hate it too.

[@baronvonpanzer6594]

Yea, spell check

[@sup209]

But he died in the Death Star trench run!

[@user-st7rq3sn7v]

7:35 .... that settles it. storm troopers have strokes too

[@pranahouse]

7:25 know wonder they cant shoot straight

[@comradebusman3]

They gave Biggs darklighter a fucking clone blaster rifle.

[@BrasilGT]

Biggs or Burt Reynolds?

[@drenkrod9811]

"And the face..." -Stuart Ashen, every single bootleg video

[@firstaid223]

9:39 Bloody hell Luke, your incestuous desires are getting out of hand. :v

[@juulcat561]

this is a youtuber/entertainer that really deserves some good ad revenue instead of all these clickbait youtubers

[@crazzilla7203]

i want to believe that the intro misspelled "molding", and that the action figures aren't growing mold, but you don't always get what you want

[@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld]

The word 'mould' is spelt differently in the UK.

[@crazzilla7203]

WildKatGirl i am aware, and am currently living in the UK. "molding" is when you create a solid object from a cast and some type of hardening liquid. "moulding" is when your nan has kept grapes in the cupboard for a few months, and it has grown onto the door handle, holding it shut, creating a biological hazard zone in your own home, festering and releasing spores into the atmosphere to assimilate all of humanity

[@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld]

crazzilla Actually, 'mould' can be used for both definitions, as can 'mold'.

[@crazzilla7203]

so i was technically correct, THE BEST KIND OF CORRECT!

[@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld]

crazzilla No... You said that the intro misspelled correct when it didn't... That was what I was trying to correct you on.

[@legodemonrockstar]

Ashens uploaded in my birthday. I feel blessed

[@psychosorcerer9438]

Did you get a new sofa??? Damn. I need to get rid of my Lego ashens playset now...

[@gtf187]

no thats the sofa in his office i believe

[@jlsr4141]

God damn, you got way too triggered over a question about a couch.

[@Zaqinabox]

Don't get rid of it! It's a collectable now.

[@psychosorcerer9438]

Simon Brown How about I wait until you learn and/or master the English language. Before you attempt to hilariously insult me again.

[@psychosorcerer9438]

Simon Brown Sorry. I actually do stuff other than sit here and watch KZbin all day. I have a job. I swordfight with a massive group of people. I'm part of a witch's coven. When you actually do stuff with your life, it becomes rather hard to remember something seen in a short, albeit entertaining, KZbin video.

[@Drawyah]

00:13 - No! It's meant to be Episope 3 because of that other bootleg film error!!!!! DX

[@NoNameC68]

Oh my God! Where's the old couch? Is the old couch okay?! Oh God, of God, oh God... I'm so worried. I hope the old couch is okay. Please be okay! You can't film on a new couch without telling us what happened to the couch we all fell in love with! After all, the couch was the star of this channel!

[@NoNameC68]

900bot If it's fine, then we surely would have seen the couch.I refuse to believe that this isn't a conspiracy.

[@mikeyg69]

Are you stupid? this blue couch is in all the other bootleg figure vids

[@CrizzyD91]

+Mike G She's obviously joking.

[@mikeyg69]

CrizzyD91 "She" Lmfao okay.

[@zacrigby4426]

NoNameC68 it got cut in half by the Worlds Sharpest knife™

[@IncoherentOrange]

Excellent thing to watch right before the livestream.

[@fogel76]

Bootleg office sofa

[@bladepanthera]

Love how much of a stir this sofa is causing.

[@ChaosChimeraGaming]

Damn just as I clicked on the video I needed a crap..

[@SuperCommando48]

'Avengers Assemble!' I'm the half passed out black pilot who's supposed to fly us in.

[@KillerCelery]

7:06 - Yes, your Highness. Your very posture tells me "Here is a man of true greatness".

[@Puddingfuzz]

Having another sofa affair again I see...

[@elirayburn647]

That's no brown couch... ITS A TRAP!!!!

[@ntlnes603]

i miss the old couch, not because nostalgia but, i know people are going to say in the future "like if you were here when ashens couch was brown etc.) and that will annoy me

[@randominternetsurfersurfin7595]

it's not a new couch,this is the star wars bootleg couch,it's almost in every star wars vid.

[@smb-c3po]

And then I will proceed to report them as spam for asking for Likes as though they're desperate for attention.

[@TimedropStudios]

4:59 It's an authentic Dave Lister toy!

[@TwilghtSaga110]

Where's the Eggmaster

[@trekthehappyturtle454]

Papa John's Pizza no one dares to half ass the eggmaster

[@Dee_Just_Dee]

That clone engineer with two left arms. 😂

[@throwable]

dad

[@preferredimage]

7:33 you nearly spit in the troopers mouth!! grim!

[@nemueru]

Wtf

[@kaiflannery2528]

"The second problem is...." is what? that he's black? Ashens the racist strikes back

[@yvindnilsen94]

nice b8 m8: rate 8 out of 8

[@daramaguiginn7992]

You failed to write "rate" as "r8". Mediocre.

[@yvindnilsen94]

it was my first time ;-)

[@yvindnilsen94]

i will improve... or seppuku! ;)

[@daramaguiginn7992]

Sudoku

[@GmodPlusWoW]

Really strong opened with Rich Uncle Gary.

[@vacuumgaze5277]

Am I the only one who cringed a little that he put IV as Episode 4 instead of VI (as the title shows its meant to be like Return Of The Jedi)

[@mollineux]

IV is 4 in roman numerals.

[@VinchVolt]

What Yellow Diamond means that it should be "VI" because Episode 6 of Star Wars was called "Return of the Jedi".

[@AntiBudderArmy]

+Wholesale Bear Yeah, but this installment in the Star Wars series is Episode VI.

[@mollineux]

I just saw what he meant. I think he (ashens) was just poking at how they are bootleg toys.

[@MCOmegaX123]

Tis is Ashens' fourth 'Bootleg Star Wars' video. That's what the 'Episode IV' was referring to.

[@manoflego123]

Not only is that clone's arm upside down, but it's not even the right arm. As in it's a left arm flipped around.

[@hilarywaychunas7506]

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH SOFA?!

[@ryanbarker5217]

residue of knock-off toys wore a hole into it.

[@elizabethshaw734]

this is the office couch.

[@staley101]

Don't worry, Chwey got his medal. Well Leia's medal, in the end.

[@Amalekites]

Chwey?

[@oldmanhenderson9378]

I got a star wars ad for the video Wich was hilarious

[@rowan248]

1:50 "Maggie I-… I'll find you"

[@xombiegriffin]

I have to say, I always get a big stupid grin on my face when reading your opening scrolls for these.

[@Panbaneesha]

I'm watching this while a big portion of my face is still half numb from an emergency visit to the dentist. So in between being cheered up, the pain and not being able to move my face to laugh it's quite an interesting experience...

[@katewilliams2415]

Holy shit! That first figure reminded me of Paul McCartney, during the Sgt. Pepper era. Not sure why!

[@hex_6590]

I love the vaguely star wars-y music.

[@thomaslynch4238]

new couch. the beginning of a new era.

[@darthbuzz1]

+Ashens Anakin is Zammo from Grange Hill. A bit of Joey Essex in there as well I think. P.s. Woolwich also had a Poundland and a bigger one opened up almost opposite and both are still open. Bizarre.

[@benij8130]

The intro music always gets me :,)