Borderline Personality Disorder | Misconceptions

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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) comes with many myths and misconceptions. Here to discuss the myths about borderline personality disorder you need to know is personality disorders expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula.
She answers:
Why are there so many misconceptions surrounding borderline personality disorder?
What are the main misconceptions and myths about BPD?
Why does each of these misconceptions persist?
Is there hope for people who suffer from borderline personality disorder?
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#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #borderlinepersonality #borderline

[@MedCircle]

Learn actionable strategies for managing borderline personality disorder HERE: bit.ly/2ZP1iD0

[@kathleengallegos7393]

Ty

[@jasonfoxall426]

I would do anything to just have one appointment with Dr. Ramani. I've been diagnosed with anxiety depression and bi-polar, But i know deep down i'm misdiagnosed. I just know I have BPD cuz I just know I do. I don't have insurance, But even if I did, No doctor around here will freaking help me because of my substance abuse problems. I just want to be able to feel normal for once in my life. I'm a 42 year old male and i've been to prison 4 times so i'm not weak but i am balling my eyes right now and i don't even know why.

[@VoiceOfThe]

I’m hoping someone can help me. Is going no contact on a girl who’s suspected of having borderline personality disorder a good idea to stand a chance of getting her back. She wants me in her life as a friend, but I’ve refused, saying I want her romantically. She’s gone mad and accused me of not caring enough about her if I can’t just be her friend without wanting more. I know their biggest fear is abandonment and they crave attention and they tend to shutdown and move on very quickly to a new relationship, with that in mind I’m beginning to panic thinking going no contact might not be such a good idea?? Please help!

[@dfwm6660]

what i find hilarious about the so-called mental health specialist is when they don't understand anything they always stick a label on it for borderline personality disorder when 99% of the time that haven't got a clue it's not an exact science it's just guesswork.. you can see 10 specialist and your fine everyone of them has a different opinion.. and they think they know everything about you in just one hour, yeah really..

[@brokendiamond4830]

Can you talk about quiet borderline personality disorder, and I wish you were my therapist so you can explain what bpd is, cause my mom says stuff like I'm just a moody teenager and she also says moody teenagers are mean, and it hurts cause I'm only like this because of my bpd

[@yonietripp312]

I have BPD I wish she was my therapist 😭😭

[@nik1128]

She is very knowledgeable and almost immediately puts me at ease. I wish I had someone like her to talk to

[@fatumaali6403]

Me too. Unfortunately am in Africa 😢😭

[@nahiedlaila9601]

Same here she would have cured me years ago😭but here i am still struggling to get the right diagnosis knowing i have bpd after all these years(since childhood) of feeling like a misfit and failure but my ignorant psychologist somehow doesnt believe i have bpd which i dont get cuz i know myself better than her and even my family recognized the signs. She even said its not relevant whether i have bpd or not cuz apparently i am already getting the 'right treatment' which is bullshit if u ask me cuz they struggled so hard to diagnose me properly in the first place it took them so long and still they failed. Amd they still havent after all this lost time! Its truly mindblowing. I am losing hope in these 'professionals' that haven't been educated properly on these vulnerable and essential and lifechanging matters. They r playing with people's lives and r dealing with unstable and vulnerable people who need extra care and attention but i just feel totally neglected and undervalued. It truly disgusts me how corrupted the system is. They have no idea what they r doing and stil have the nerve to misdiagnose me and act all knowing! How can she know how to treat me properly if i have been misdiagnosed from the beginning🤔it makes me so angry and frustrated and hopeless at the same time that i am not taken srsly. I feel like they r just playing me and wasting my precious time and energy without any progress. I feel like youtube has been more of a psychologist to me than all those so called ignorant and blind psychologists all thogether I feel like they feel threathened that i diagnosed myself but they should be grateful cuz that makes their job so much easier but thats my luck unfortunately. My little sister even educated herself on this matter and discussed this with me and told me i was most likely suffering from bpd which truly opened my eyes and everything fell into place. I finally understood why i am overly emotional and cant let go of grudges and am easily triggered and find it so hard to calm down afterwards feeling like everyone is going to abandon me which results in isolating myself so i dont have to feel guilty for making them suffer bcuz of my mental instability. I am already relieved to know what i am suffering from so i know where to go from there

[@ligiam.martinezl.2612]

Same!!

[@serioussam209]

@@fatumaali6403 90% of people in Africa and middle east have it 😥

[@taracate88]

Borderline to me, feels more like everyone around me is going to leave me because I don’t know how to make myself calm down so I’m misunderstood and ignored so I’m constantly trying to feel valued. It’s like people I care about don’t understand why they are upsetting me and they don’t listen because I am really emotional. Then they get frustrated because they can’t keep dealing with it and they leave and the whole time I know it is happening and I understand what it is and I try to tell them but I am desperately trying to get control over myself but nothing is working. I’m watching the ship crash into the rocks because the captain and crew are men being lured by sirens and I can’t get them to listen because I’m the only female on board. I’m screaming but the spell is too strong and I have to die because I can’t get control. That’s how it feels, like I’m going to die. I’m so grateful that I am getting help now because I was really in a dark place and I don’t know how I would have been able to go much longer.

[@livinginvt11]

Im so glad youre getting help. This disorder is not your fault. Good luck on ur journey.

[@taracate88]

Water a' lcoholic that’s wonderful to hear because it’s very hard to think that I can get control sometimes. I’m just starting to learn about BPD and understanding has helped but knowing that you have made it gives me motivation. It’s so hard right now because I want to do specific things to get better but life has other plans and slows me down but at the same time, that’s life so I need to be able to deal with it. I’m just trying to keep my thoughts positive and not allow depressing things to overwhelm me as much as possible. I don’t know how to change my situation but when I do, I feel like I can really make some progress.

[@joeirvin2664]

Hearing you so open minded for change.....you will find peace!

[@docingraham]

Guera Noodle Well said, #relatable. I've been known to say that " the story of my life" feels more like a bad self-fulfilling prophesy than a ''story". And historically, for me at least, the more I believe that narrative, the truer it becomes. But by the same token, the times I've managed to "break from the script" as it were, and see myself as more-so the author of the story than a hapless/doomed character, have invariably resulted in significant improvements to both my life and myself. (Some days I settle for self-aware protagonist, *shrugs*. Not as good, but I still get substantially better results than I ever have as "that NPC with a curse or something".) Good on ya, Ms. Noodle. Peace and long life. 🖖

[@kelpshake8181]

The smell is too strong ?

[@hbtuber3785]

I have BPD and I wish people tried to understand it more instead of trying to guess or judge right away. It sucks

[@Yankeesiheart]

sameeeeee

[@gerrbaby90]

That and that your just crazy and need to get a handle on your emotions. I work at a small shop where I'm the only employee that is blood family (5 total, mom, dad, son, daughter-in-law and me.). We are like family but it was when she told me I just need to get a handle on my emotions or keep it at home when I realized she didn't realize that was impossible for me, eventhough we have talked about it so many times. In that moment I felt like she didn't care to understand and it was just a bother to deal with.

[@thomaskaimann6800]

@@gerrbaby90 at first i thought you were calling him crazy then realized you were adding to his statement. Lol

[@traktorfaktor]

I agree! I'm now a constant shut-in. I feel so insane. I just want to spare people from myself. I hate going to work and se them shy away from me, the look in their eyes, like "what the f#$%?".

[@GloriaSol]

12checkmate75 I’m with you on this one. It’s so unfair for us that do not have BPD and we pay for what the person that caused them this mental illness. :( You’re not alone!

[@SpudEater]

It's having this intense feeling of wanting to be understood and loved while simultaneously fearing getting too close and not even just pushing, shoving people away.

[@marijamartinovic4404]

Exactly. It’s so hard to stay with BPD person, when he (she) openly hates you from time to time.

[@believeonChriststaystrong7589]

My wife has BPD she has an extremely loving heart. I hope I can be a good support for her during her struggles. People with BPD are largely stigmatized and labeled in society. Videos like this are great as they help bring more awareness

[@sashawalker4492]

Thank you so much for saying this. My partner would say something similar. I just found out I was diagnosed 5 years ago but was never told by any of the professionals who made the diagnosis 5 years ago. They told me I had PTSD and I have worked tirelessly since to get better. Therapy, college, constant research and mindfulness practices because I wanted to get better and be a good mom. A lot of these comments have been so hurtful. I only found out today. I came here from for support and I am reading people say that "people with borderline should stay away from children and people, we have no accountability, we should never have children." Etc. I can't even tell you how much it hurt to read all that being a mother myself. So thank you so much for sharing about your wife. I bet she is AMAZING!!! Thank her too for not giving up and being a light for the rest of us right here and right now when someone needed a light. Thank you 💖

[@theonlydjtopcat]

All the Cluster B's fall on a spectrum. She may have "quiet" BPD, but on the other side you get BPD's with nasty narcissistic traits, and they are dangerous.

[@conkadonk4976]

I've found I was trapped in fight or flight mode

[@conkadonk4976]

@Sasha I realised I was trapped in fight or flight mode , The brain has two pilots , I label them YOU and SELF ... It became clear to me , If you don't control your "self"(fight or flight) "self" will control "YOU"

[@michaelesq.atpcfii.9862]

this guy sounds like a simp. bpd's are emotional basket cases, and yet you are apparently ok with it?

[@christopherrogers6194]

The thing that hit me in this video at the end was when she say's at 8:58 "people with BPD often walks through the world slowly Believing that nobody wants to spend time with them because that's the feedback they are receiving." I feel this everyday now, I have BPD and I purposefully avoid going out and meeting people because of this, I lost my best friend after having tried to commit suicide. It's not that we want to feel this way either, I want friends and people in my life but avoid it because it honestly hurts to lose people you cared about and thought cared about you, it's just easier to be alone. I have isolated myself and I truly believe that most people once they get to know me will hate me eventually so why bother.

[@daisyjones9107]

I grew up being made to feel this way so I truly genuinely believe, make a fuss of it? No

[@Mtz2604]

Been feeling like a burden since I was 6, talked with my mom about how it could help to the family if I killed myself. My issue wasn't understand death, I understood it quite well for that age. I asked her help with the "how can I kill myself, mom?" part.

[@morethanamess1980]

@@Mtz2604 I'm so sorry about that

[@Mtz2604]

@@morethanamess1980 thank you dear, and love your profile name! We all are more than a mess haha! We are a quirky funky mess. Well, I'm 30 but I still battle with the irrational thoughts, like going to the hospital, checking myself with my hubby accompanying me, because I no longer feel secure being around the house even with him at home because I can't contain anymore my urges to self harm. So my depression is spiking, and being in the psych hospital and feeling that I don't deserve the help? Damn, I want to kick my head sometimes... I logically acknowledge that I'm being dangerous towards self and that my hubby can't stay with me at tha shower or doing my business at the bathroom... Or waking up every time I go to pee at night. Being hyper aware of how long I'm with the doors closed is not a life for him, he works, imagine the wreck nights, or when I'm having crisis (once I had 5 in that day, and 3 of them were at work). I'm no longer able to take proper care of myself, that's why I'm at the hospital. Being mindful and having enough insight to understand or when you're not thinking straight and things are going south. At least I can trust a little on it, despite the distortions in my thoughts. Sometimes I don't notice some stuff (#notmyproudestmoment). My doc and therapist appreciate my insight because not all the people have it, even with other conditions like diabetes, some don't pay attention to their bodies and mind asking for help. Is more common to see this lack of insight with mental health conditions. If a friend was exactly at my position, I'll be "you go!! That's the way, seeking help ain't a shame at all and you need special care during this time, is just a relapse and it doesn't matter if others have it worse or better than you. You need this help." But I my head tells me: "bitch you're a waste of all the health care system resources". Is a constant battle. The deal is that we have to keep fighting and keeping the goal of self healing and growth. Christher's comment just send me to that moment in my life. If a child comes at me saying that, my heart would break. IDK and I've never asked to my mom what she felt. I remember going to the doctor and have talks and being in family therapy when my brother was in rehab for his alcoholism and drug addiction, thanks God he has been clean for years, but depression in children isn't well treated.

[@johnhaller7017]

The sadistic devalue and discard handed out by a borderline to me was about as toxic a trauma can get, truly horrific. Sudden, no appeal and legally enforced, as well as claiming that I am mentally unwell to whomever could be informed My Psychologist(never needed one before) said I'm traumatised post facto!! NOTHING ELSE!!. What justice do I get from this "personality disordered 2ndary psychopath" Hard to know how a functioning human being could have done this! I wake up every morning and do a check! Yes it actually DID happen and NO there was no real reason, just the paranoid phase of someone that was supposed to be a friend for the last ten years. REAL and DESTRUCTIVE mental illness. Probably setting up someone else for the same treatment. Truly disgusting and unforgivable. See if you can guess what profession she is( starts with a "P---------pist)" and no she is undeclared. I spent the last four months trying to reverse engineer just what sort of a flesh eating dinosaur I was dealing with. BorderlinePD and I actually cared about her. Should be sequestered.

[@david_oliveira71]

"Chronic Affective Instability Disorder" (CAID) That would be better, certainly! Affective = mood/moodiness

[@richardgrady7417]

Scuzod affective disorder

[@markymark863]

No. It wouldn't. It is a disorder that causes people to emotionally abuse people around them horrifically. It needs to have a certain stigma because not all BPD cases are treatable, specifically if narcissism is high.

[@laura-anne9782]

In the UK it's called EUPD - emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) .

[@LEbackstage]

Laura-Anne Jones Same in Germany.

[@Sarablueunicorn]

@@LEbackstage That's interesting. is that a thing for all europe, maybe ?

[@v_eye_let17]

What this video just said to everyone with BPD: There's a tiny shred of hope for you but you better be able to afford it. Very nice.

[@RD-xg2zd]

How much does it cost ?

[@elm2908]

Christina 'K or if you’re European.

[@susuyachan2021]

@@elm2908 I'm European and if I want to get the right treatment it is €€€€. That's why I had to stop my theraphy and "help" myself

[@kahlodiego5299]

Exactly

[@Lazy_Prophet]

Yep, although I have medicaid and I gotta say I'm impressed, they pay for almost anything related to mental health.

[@lshea13]

Huge misconception that rarely comes up from a professional, is the fact that the stigma around BPD is the most prominent amongst the mental and medical healthcare professionals they come in contact with and not the general population. In my experience, most non-medical professionals have stigma for mental illness overall but have little idea what BPD is, whereas health professionals are extremely quick to apply stigma to people with BPD when they see them in an ER, office, mental health, etc. setting. Despite all I know from a degree in psychology, all I have done to work on my health and myself in the last 12 years (therapy, DBTx2, PTSD specialized treatment inpatient 3 months, medications, etc), when I go to the ER, for any reason, once they see my chart and the "BPD" on it I am often treated as someone who has never done anything to improve their condition. The most common things that I have experienced is anger and reluctance to try and understand what I am there for on the part of the professional. Having bipolar, a dissociative disorder and PTSD as well, it is really obvious when they say and do certain things that don't fit when I am there for something unrelated to BPD. The traits I feel are applied to me: ignorant, manipulative, attention-seeking, shallow, secretive, inauthentic, reluctant to get better, reluctant to take responsibility, and immature. This is generally with all the professionals you encounter that only know BPD from a textbook and the minimal interactions they have with patients with BPD in the ER, etc. Usually it's nurses, ER doctors, crisis counsellors, even psychiatrists, but the blatant discrimination and negative interactions are with the medically trained staff, even though the mental health staff can be just as ignorant. It is never ok for anyone to say "you are a borderline and that's all you'll ever be" especially from a psych nurse in a psych ward of a hospital. I have said it before but this condition is so misunderstood and has made it so that no matter how hard I have worked to get better, the label ensures that your interactions with others, especially health professionals, will be difficult and often confusing and just repeat the feeling of invalidation that possibly brought this diagnosis into your life in the first place. What I wish health professionals would do more often is, before making an assumption, ask WHY people are doing what they are doing that is questionable rather than apply a reason based on the diagnosis on their file, especially when BPD is extremely complicated and often accompanied by other complicated disorders. This would help greatly with accurate diagnosis. It is very confusing, and offensive, when you are doing things due to past traumas and being treated as a person who has BPD and being taught about having empathy, possibly for an abuser they are unaware of. If it's the proper diagnosis, this is good treatment. If this is not, in my experience I have never felt more misunderstood and confused about my own mental health and my future. My treatment by medical professionals around BPD has given me PTSD (flashbacks, avoidance and of the hospital, nightmares, etc.). I know it is extreme but it has been really bad and has also had a very negative impact on my self-esteem. The qualities that known but not divulged to patients are the ones that are creating very negative narratives about you as a person/patient/same-thing. What I would like to see from this series on BPD is more from a patients perspective. What about misdiagnosis of BPD? What about the stigma within the profession to treat these patients? What about the fact that there is a negative inference about their behaviour in treatment? In this video they mention treatment resistance. I would like to add, many people when given a diagnosis of mental or physical health ignore the importance to receive help. Accepting you have to change your life because you are diabetic is a very difficult thing and doctors struggle with patients in that area too. It is hard to admit there is something wrong with you and also that you now have to change. This is not specific to BPD. This video made it sound like this was extremely common for BPD. As a personality disorder, that would make sense, but there are definitely people with BPD who try really hard to overcome their issues and maintain a more stable life. I am aware this is all coming from a positive place trying to explain what the diagnosis is, but to me the stigma within the profession is so pervasive that it needs to be addressed. I have met very few professionals in the last 12 years that had a respectful and understanding outlook on the disorder.

[@bardwayer]

Thanks for sharing and I agree. Mental health professionals often acknowledge the stigma but don't stop to really think about how their current paradigm is the very basis for that stigma. Even Dr. Ramani cites Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction as a "good" representation of BPD. The problem I've found is that most of the therapists I've met, who are more genuinely concerned with hearing your story and helping you come to an understanding of your experiences instead of telling you how you're wrong and need to be fixed, are distancing themselves from using the DSM and giving diagnoses at all, but this confuses ordinary people who are still attached to their desire for a diagnosis since it's all they know. Until a new typology is developed to replace the DSM I don't think anything is going to change.

[@isabellac5669]

Your post truly hit home! Your points are so relatable & relevant to this topic, as well as how patients are treated in general! Looooong story short, the mental healthcare so called professionals were causative in creating mass trauma in what could of been a healthier life for me! Labels are destructive! Stigmatizing is a continual problem, which often keeps people from seeking treatment! The inability to assess, and offer authentic, life stabilizing care, continues to be a major downfall in the psychiatric communities! Remember, we are dealing with very subjective disorders; therapies are of the like!

[@thegirlinterruptedd]

@@bardwayer Agreed! I see a therapist who treats me for BPD, but doesn't focus on the diagnosis much at all and instead, tries to listen and help me as an individual. Mental health professionals can get way too caught up in the DSM and forget that they're treating real people vs a set of criteria - I am so grateful to have a therapist who understands that diagnoses can be a tool, not the end-all be-all to mental health treatment

[@adastra5829]

Wow! Beautiful post! So well written and so true! Thank you :)

[@Jkjoannaki]

Many times borderlines dig their grave. I have bpd and try my fucking best not to act immature. But I went to a bpd support group on FB and most ppl there would be abusive and shitty and say "I can do it I have bpd. I can abuse people it's ok I can't control it bc of my bpd". And that's why most ppl I've met that know a few things about bpd think we are monsters. So I don't tell them about my diagnosis

[@etaylor8028]

I think someone with BPD is someone who has the genetic traits for high empathy, but because they had emotionally invalidating upbringings this manifested as BPD instead of just being an empath. People with less empathy who have the same sort of upbringing instead turn out to be narcissists. I think BPD is like narcissism because the core wound is the same, but with an ability to feel empathy and an understanding that you are not better than everyone.

[@dezzi9955]

I agree that narcissists and people with BPD may share the same core wound however, they are so much different. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder really lack self awareness, people with BPD however don’t. People with BPD know exactly what’s going on, they just don’t know how to control it. But it’s the complete opposite with Narcissists because they don’t think anything’s wrong and they only see one perspective, which is through their eyes.

[@markymark863]

The abuse you suffer from either will be similar and it will ruin you. And never be naive enough to think that people with BPD are capable of having empathy for anyone else more than they have pity for themselves. Most just aren't capable of unconditional love due to their idealization/devaluation swings. But never assume they are less dangerous than narcissists. There is huge overlap between the two disorders.

[@shannonrogers3928]

I have BPD and my up bringing was the best :) but I see what you are saying

[@nopaintingsplease1575]

people with BPD can be very big narcissists while not exactly having narcissistic personality disorder

[@melissam597]

Milo_is Daddy Completely agree, people with BPD can be extremely selfish. There are more similarities between the two disorders that people would care to admit, I’m kind of tired of people acting like Borderlines are harmless - if they’re abusive they can be just as bad as narcissists. A BPD meltdown is absolutely terrifying to experience, especially when you tell them that they’re frightening you & you want to call the cops but they keep going anyway. I will never be friends with one ever again, they’re not trustworthy people.

[@tessa_957]

I'm 46 years old and grew up with a BPD mother. I was in my late teens when I realized my mother wasn't like most parents. I didn't know parents were proud of their kids until I saw my friends' parents gushing over their accomplishments. I currently go to therapy and now understand why I HAD low self-esteem, was a perfectionist, and why I always thought that when anything went wrong it was my fault. I now know how to love myself, have self-care, and know that circumstances sometimes happen beyond my control, therefore it cannot be my fault.

[@NikPub]

What advice can you give to someone like your mother?

[@tessa_957]

@@NikPub That's a difficult question to answer bc if I suggest anything to my mother she will take it as if I am going against her and siding with whomever she feels is "attacking" her. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. If a person is similar to my mother, that's the reaction I'd expect.

[@edaly9700]

Was your mother confirmed to have BPD through clinical diagnosis?

[@susangieski5381]

Good for you. I wonder for myself. My mom was taking Valium like candy. Neither Mom or Dad were gushing any good emotion or hugs either. Begged for help in school. No one listened.

[@YTLettersAZ]

Maybe narcissistic, not BPD?

[@TweekerMcCormick]

When I went through diagnosis (in the UK) they actually used the term EUPD - Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder - which is a lot more "what it says in the tin" than BPD/Borderline is.

[@cyn37211]

I’m in a Facebook group that uses EUPD. (I’m in the US). I’d never heard of BPD til I was DXD with it.

[@marymoynihan3193]

I think eupd sounds worse as when the average person hears the word unstable, they think perhaps, dangerous, they might think we are violent.

[@jeans398]

You can call it rainbows and sunflowers- the negativity comes from what the entire experience is for everyone involved, the BPD and their abuse victims. So you can try hide and minimize the destructions of it but it IS disordered thinking- that is why is it named that, hiding it only minimizes the impact it has on those around them

[@glee_again2594]

I spoke with a counselor today who said he calls BPD “Complex Trauma Disorder” I really liked that. Maybe it could be “Complex Trauma Affective Disorder” if we combine with Dr. Ramni’s “Chronic Affective Instability Disorder”.

[@heyitsbethxo9957]

I still hate admitting I have been diagnosed with BPD

[@elissajaguar]

@Hey it’s Beth xo - If I may: at least you know and potentially knowing cuts down on confusion and also empowers you to be able to make choices that will help you enjoy your life more fully. Absolutely wishing you all the best.

[@markymark863]

And I'm sure the people around you hate being emotionally abused, so get into intensive therapy for others sake. Thanks.

[@TheBakingGirlShow]

Mark Niebaum ahahhaha omg!! Asshole

[@likeguiltdoes]

@@markymark863 You should probably get into some sort of therapy for your need to tear others down for no reason at all. You know absolutely nothing about OP.

[@lolololololutrythcfy]

@@markymark863 it seems maybe you have a disorder of your own and u need to get into therapy for ur acting very toxic and abusive.

[@andrewharris6527]

“Motivated” to commit to DBT in the US means $4-6k with none of it covered by insurance. Assuming you can get there as much as is required without losing your job.

[@cyn37211]

Yes. My daughter paid $8,000 and committed 2 months, was pronounced cured, and is right back where she started 2 years later. For me it was a tossup between getting my teeth fixed or getting DBT. I figured teeth were more important to my health & self-image.

[@michaelhall202]

Wow sucks to be in the US. In Australia I get 12 free sessions a year. When I was admitted for 2 weeks it was free.

[@charlotteguthrie6809]

I cannot even FIND a program for me. It's not fair

[@noplacelikestorybrooke6968]

@@michaelhall202 that's true but the problem is that means 1 session a month. Not sure if you're aware but BPD requires at least WEEKLY sessions one on one with a therapist PLUS group therapy. So the 12 free sessions is actually not enough at all. They've also started reducing DBT sessions in my state (Vic) so there's that too... I've been on those 12 session plans my whole life and often I've used the 12 sessions up by April and that's still not getting the weekly therapy I need and want to actually get better. We might have it better than some but don't think that it's enough. Even before my BPD diagnosis and when it was 'just' depression, I was constantly suicidal do you think a session a month was enough? The fact is these illnesses can be terminal without proper treatment and the government needs to treat it like a terminal illness. It's pay or die for a lot of us.

[@sagedakotalmft7763]

Wow; that is awful!

[@nahiedlaila9601]

The worst thing about bpd is the intense shame and guilt afterwards and fear of abandonment. It really terrifies and makes me so depressed that i dont even see the point in living anymore cuz i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel but i aint giving up after all this suffering for years. I dont want it to be for nothing. I want to cure myself with the help of the right treatment and tips from these videos and REAL PROPER EDUCATED PSYCHOLOGISTS. I am the only one who can take true responsibility for my life and therefore the only one that can truly make a positive change for the rest of my life which makes me feel empowered and hopeful and determined to keep thriving for a better and brighter future! That thought keeps me going and makes it all worthwhile

[@miagonzo5522]

"i don't have a problem. this isn't my problem. you have to get me." that is definitely the mindset that i can go into sometimes bc shit can be so exhausting and at the end of the day, you just want ppl just to magically get you. it's a lot to deal with and you feel so much despair bc you feel like no one will ever get it.

[@sabrinap9421]

So TRUE. It’s like you’re just fighting a losing battle of trying to be understood

[@mawdi478]

I have BPD and everything I heard here is spot-on. Everything from the suicidal thoughts to the paranoid delusions. I am also a man. Men do get this ****. I have to say the worst part of this is job relationships. It's like being in high school and no one likes you.

[@cdogthehedgehog6923]

3 years ago. And i need your help, your experience is the same as mine.

[@nickoxide]

When my psychiatrist yesterday diagnosed me. He didn't like the words borderline etc. He labeled it emotionally unstable personality disorder

[@movingup2118]

It's now known as EUPD. I however think that's more stigmatising. Borderline is less stigmatising.

[@nellymaymarburger5206]

Can you do a video on how to talk to and deal with a person with BPD?

[@nikkijaneallison]

Yes, please!

[@beyondbeauty6921]

Nelly G. Henderson YOU DONT TALK TO THEM AVOID BEFORE THEY CAUSE U OR YOUR FAMILY REAL HARM!!

[@livinginvt11]

Omg youre all so judgemental. Do you see in peoples soul too? SMH

[@MadameCasper]

My response is the same as the others unfortunately. It's experience, sadly. Most BPD don't seek help and don't follow thru with the amount of work needed. They move on. And continue to wreak havoc in others lives. It can be horrific.

[@livinginvt11]

@@MadameCasper im sorry this has been ur experience.

[@anthonyramirez7272]

I constantly walk through the world feeling like nobody wants to be with me. I’m seeing a therapist, but she doesn’t think it’s BPD, but as of now, I’m convinced that I have BPD.

[@jesswnukow]

I think you should talk to your therapist and perhaps find someone who can help you. Someone who listens. Perhaps your therapist isn't a good fit. Afterall ...she is only human too. You deserve to get treated for whatever you are going through. Best of luck. Stay well.

[@kiss4strawberry]

I feel the same way. But what makes you so sure you have it? Perhaps your therapist notices something you don't. Or is there something that you don't tell her about? Or maybe your therapist refuses to acknowledge that it might be BPD if she's not skilled to treat it with DBT...

[@livinginvt11]

@Life, Love, and other things Hi. Im sure you're a lovely person but are you qualified to be diagnosing or vounter-diagnosing people on this thread. Maybe if you make it in the form of a suggestion. Be Well.

[@livinginvt11]

@Life, Love, and other things Diagnose me? You couldn't begin to understand. I liked how you acted like a God loving person in one comment when it's obvious you're the polar opposite. This will be my only comment to you because you don't have the accreditation to diagnose dog poop even though you see it in the mirror every morning.

[@livinginvt11]

@Anthony Ramirez Definitely seek a second opinion especially if you don't feel youre being heard. Good luck.

[@MamaTfromMN]

Many moons ago, my therapist pulled out the DSM and read me the symptoms or criteria of BPD. As another viewer said, paraphrased, I had 13 out of 9. I asked if that meant he was diagnosing me and he softly smiled and wondered out loud if I really needed more labels? He then said, "it just means you have trouble managing your feelings. " Yes. This is a great explanation.

[@lovelyjanuary]

I love your therapist 🥰🥰🥰🥰 that’s the mark of a true human being with an empathetic soul and honest intention of helping and not doing any more harm whilst doing so that I have read in a while. Amazing.

[@aforeign4635]

the woman is AMAZING! i've been in therapy for 5 years now but only got diagnosed 3 years ago by two different doctors. recently i've been experiencing dissociative episodes caused by emotionally stressful events and, i would LOVE to hear from Dr. Ramani about the topic (dissociation in BPD). THESE SERIES ARE HELPING ME SO MUCH!! we all need more, please!

[@hollyfabiani]

It's from the narcissists and stress levels they add to your life.

[@deetgrogstin]

Do you take medication? I was informally diagnosed by a family friend who's a Mental health professional and i have my first meeting with a psychiatrist tomorrow. I know medicine alone wont fix it but did you see any change in your ability to control your emotions?

[@noelleniedermeier2381]

@@hollyfabiani definitely! I didn’t have any issues with dissociation until I let a covert narcissist live with me

[@corrieannfletcher5780]

@@hollyfabiani my ex is def a narcissist our daughter has BPD she had what looked like a fit to me is this the disassociation episode you mean?

[@hollyfabiani]

@@corrieannfletcher5780 I've made so many comments regarding this, so I don't recall what I was referring to exactly. My thoughts remain the same.. Narcissists cause quite the ripple effect. I disassociate in the means of when I feel my stress at a 10, I mentally check out to a robotic state. Functionally I seem fine. If someone were to ask me the following day a question about anything that happened during that period, I have no recollection. No memory disassociate. Its the bodys way of trauma blocking and works much the movie click. In the case of the narcissist, they block the trauma with deflection. In staying with a narcisst... you disassociate by ignoring your own inner voice and model that to your daughter. This is how the ripple works. Often this is subconscious until it isn't. Frankly, I'm sick of "coping" with what is more impactful covert abuse than the cutting associated w so called BPD. I have complex ptsd from not only mental enslavery from narcissistic and pedofillic abuse, as well as the way society likes to treat it. Each as harmful as the other. I can heal, but that doesn't fix the problem that I'm the one who has to heal and deal- not the one causing the problem. Its that rage that is quite the injustice. Much like slavery... how long it lasted. Slaves were taught by society to cope and deal. Fix themselves. But that still doesn't solve the root problem. Them being angry, isolated, disassociating is a natural human reaction. Its not a disease. The disease is to believe we are some species that is actually civilized.. and the system is actually working for people. If it were, none of us would be online searching for hours and years. More simply put, most people appear to feel they are people of integrity, but when they feel victimized, they are no longer required to adhear to their own code of conduct. On those occasions where they don't follow their code, it is because the normal rules are suspended due to an extraordinary pressure or caveat. The unique caveat is KEY because for true spiritual integrity (what counslers/society), there can be no unique caveat. So, as humans, someone bears a threat to our well being- we cope. Diminishing our spiritual integrity like slavery. Ann Rand has a philosophy which describes. The root of which is ethical subjectivism; which holds that a desire or a whim is an irreducible moral primary that any man is entitled to any desire he may feel like asserting, that all desires have equal moral validity, and that the only way to get along is by giving in and compromising. Which in abusive situations, we are trained to do. Its not hard to see who would profit and who would lose by such a doctrine. This becomes a compromise of ones convictions. Surrendering to irrational demands for social conformity and pretended observance is. Accepting a psychologists or authoritive suggestions, is not a compromise, making such changes in order to please another, or please the public against ones judgements and standards, is. These need to be clear to ones self. When varied, inflammation of all sorts in the brain will occur.

[@KillerCandy730]

I just about cried when she named it emotional instability disorder. I remember when I was told I was diagnosed with BPD. Hearing the name of it alone and not knowing what it meant was terrifying. To the point I dismissed even hearing it. Took a couple years (😒like 10 to be exact) and noticing the "episodes" happening more frequently, graduating to chronicle sickness, before I began to look into it. I've been down the rabbit hole ever since and these videos have helped.me better process, the umteen books I've read, of how and why our brains grew to function like this. I understand myself a little bit better, and confidently can share some of them with family members so they now can too. Thank you so much for what you do.

[@rhonnachurch6929]

Willingness doesnt mean anything if there is no way to have access to treatment( because its too expensive, or proper diagnosis). So then we can suppose mostly the persons suffering from this are out in the general population trying to have lives and making relationships in an untreated state....maybe even uninformed state like i have been. I was almost 50 before i found this information about BPD and have seen the effects of the instability you are talking about. Becoming productive at this point is going to be a challenge, and i am most concerned with the outward understanding because of the well laid stigma to mental health issues in general.

[@SaturnianTenshi]

Rhonna Church or I could grow out of it at 30 (since that’s apparently a thing) and just stay miserable in the meantime. I can’t even work because of my Bipolar and BPD working together, I desperately want to get better. Shits depressing.

[@mimihasenpfeffer]

The workbooks are super cheap to acquire. I recommend hard copy to write in or take notes alongside. You can find DBT tools that work best for you. Some are harder to master than others, and some skills you will outgrow and need to revisit at different points in time.

[@Jujuchumbaby]

I have all 9 symptoms. But proper treatment here is so expensive. But knowing helps, a bit.

[@melcox9834]

You can self-treat. You learn what your initial traumas or conditions (environmental / family / narcissistic abuse / neglect) were that created the disorder and then comes to terms with it and then learn about self-love and learning to meet all of your own needs. Whatever you would run to someone else with to help you with, you learn to help yourself, and you especially learn to self-soothe sans self-medicating (not suggesting that you are self-medicating, but I've known a few people that were / are clearly undiagnosed BDP that all tended to self-medicate: booze, smoking, drugs, over-the-counter medications, spending, promiscuity, etc). You become very calm and focused, you learn meditation (so many free online sources for learning how to meditate). You learn to be nicer to yourself, to exercise even if it's just going for a walk, you take baths, you count your blessings for all of the wonderful things in your life. Once you realise just how blessed and abundant you are, you can reach a place of pure inner contentment and nothing else really triggers you emotionally. I'm married to someone who refuses to accept he has anything wrong with him, but it's through his entire family - I realised something was amiss very early on and only 2 months into our relationship he was throwing tantrums and getting abusive and the slightest thing would send him into a rage - and he barely knew me but suddenly everything that had ever happened in his life was my fault. I worked 60+ hours a week and went to the gym before work and for several hours on the weekends - so we didn't spend a lot of time together and I encouraged him to live his own life - but he'd fly into hysteria over the slightest thing. A few weeks into dating his sister said to me "I have no idea what you see in my brother - he's so moody!" - and to be honest I didn't see anything in him, I was still getting to know him --- he had spent months pursuing me and I'm not one to rush into relationships of any sort, friendship or otherwise - and he was always trying to rush our relationship which I found off-putting. I tried to end things with him many times in the early stages and he'd fly into an episode and I was young and had no idea what I was dealing with. He had become obsessed with me the first time I met him - he accidentally bumped me the first time we met and a got a psychic read on him and blurted it out --- BOOM - I could not get rid of him. This has happened to me a few times over the course of my life where someone, usually a stranger bumps me or shakes my hand and I get his full-on psychic read and I can't even stop the words coming out of my mouth - my mum called it clairvoyance as a child - if I ever met a clairvoyant or psychic they'd always say "you've got the gift!" - yeah well can feel like a curse at times lol 😄 I had a reading with John Edward the psychic medium 18 months ago and then he says mid read "Oh you can do this! What I do, you can do too!?" - and I told him I could... mind you my professional background is banking / corporate.

[@epiphanychild3289]

@Darrell Border omg I do a lot of what you do

[@markymark863]

If you dont get into intensive therapy, you will co tune to harm and abuse the people around you until no one is left. Believe me. You cannot do this on your own.

[@cyn37211]

I have insurance, but none of the many therapists in Nashville won’t accept insurance, and charge an average of $250/session. 2 sessions a week, for at least 2 months. There are workbooks available on Amazon, but I’m not a workbook working person

[@elisan685]

Crazy thing is, having been diagnosed with bpd about a year ago and having experienced hospitalization and the dialectical behavioral therapy, out of the hundreds of videos ive watched and the hundreds of hours ive spent researching my disorder, she is the very first expert who mentions the therapy that was specifically designed and researched for people with bpd. There is a wholeass psychiatric centre IN MY CITY that specializes in emotional regulation disorders and i had never even heard about it. This woman is fantastic. Never in my life have i ever felt as heard and validated in my experiences, in my suffering, as when i was working with the professionals taking care of me. Im going back to the hospital in a few months for further treatment. This woman gives me hope. I want to move on with my life.

[@PatrickFN1]

Happy for you. Update?

[@sammiikayyyyy]

BPD is SO misunderstood! Thank you for this. I’m a therapist & this video is SO helpful!

[@katward5807]

I love how he adds “there’s an option” - the reality is the ‘majority’ of the world doesn’t have that “option”... not the hugest fan of the interviewer, but appreciate the optic view of the interview

[@jenniferberry120785]

I feel like this doctor is keeping the stigma around BPD just as hard stuck as she can. Not everyone with BPD realize they have an issue. I had no idea until my case manager who never turned her back even when I did have my moods and symptoms pointed things out. She allowed me to get upset have my moments and take the time I needed and I came around. We need people who don’t immediately see us as the hardest group to deal with that continually give us time to realize that even when we try to drive them away they are not leaving then and only then can we start to grow and change. A trusted person seeing things from the outside is a huge help.

[@lewisbeshers1946]

It's more than willingness to get treatment. If the patient isn't honest with their therapist, it ends up being a huge waste of time and effort. BPD is certainly a horrific and difficult diagnosis. Isn't it more akin to PTSD since usually at it's root is some childhood trauma.

[@noplacelikestorybrooke6968]

I agree. One thing I've learnt, because I just obtained all my past medical records, is that as a patient you have to be REALLY clear when you're describing things. Now this isn't easy for a lot of people so it's on the psych you see too. They need to be really patient and give you time to explain these things carefully. They need to ask questions (but not leading questions) to make sure they REALLY understand what their patient is saying. None of this can be said wishy washy or i think i understand, clarity is the key between being misdiagnosed (like I was for 15 years) and getting the correct diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible. If that means you have to write it down, draw it, have someone help you explain it, whatever works for you but you have to take the TIME to make sure the therapist has the capability of really understanding what you are saying. Don't settle with therapists either, you need someone who is attentive, listens, doesn't just see you as another number, asks lots of questions for clarification and doesn't dismiss a single thing you say. Also, GET ACCESS TO YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS.

[@xlou2]

To the haters: He’s just being a good interviewer; reiterating, expanding on and simplifying key points to get through to the laymen viewer. Many shitty TV interviewers just rush on to the next planned question without exploring what the interviewee has said.

[@adastra5829]

Louise I totally agree! Plus it feels like more of a passionate talk and not a cold jump from question to question.

[@hildapompa4236]

Louise Yes I strongly agree 100% on what you said!!

[@hildapompa4236]

@@adastra5829 Yesssssss exactly!!

[@yeahnahsweetas]

Yes I think the way he cuts in on her and not others just shows how close their relationship is. People see him as being rude, but if that were true he would cut in on everyone he interviews the same, irrespective of how well he knows them.

[@sivenathimkaza5070]

Louise maybe you haven't seen the other interviews where he was comparing patients to dogs and cats 💀💀

[@godswordsaves7673]

Knowing the problem is half the battle won 😄😄😄

[@sal2975]

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.

[@vxn490]

as long as they figure it out on their own. don't be the one telling the person they might have this

[@lolololololutrythcfy]

1000% now i’m in a relationship i sat her down and said right i may have wild swings and if this happens or i say sumn manipulative do NOT entertain it or put up with it, i will eventually come back down and we can talk about it when i’m not in a state of such instability! and we have such a healthy loving relationship it’s wonderful :> i also help her just as much bc she’s got issues of her own and regardless she keeps me calm as well as in check :)

[@godswordsaves7673]

@@lolololololutrythcfy happy for you. Good to know you're taking positive steps.

[@godswordsaves7673]

@@sal2975 true.

[@Whatshername1991]

I wish you could touch on the stigma of BPD people often being labeled as evil people. A lot of us are simply struggling to control our moods and impulse control. It was extremely heartbreaking to seek out support groups online to only finding the loved ones of people with BPD talking about them like they were the most horrible people to ever walk the Earth. Often what I've seen first hand and in others with BPD is a substantial amount of shame, guilt, and self loathing. This stigma naturally intensely feeds these emotions that can result in someone hiding their disorder and refusal to seek help in any form in fear of living up to this demonized version of them.

[@AG-ub7sg]

I’m just so grateful that I found this channel 🙏🏼❤️life changer

[@minato4203]

When we first started dating she banished any insecurities I had. Never felt More confident ever. Then she mad me so insecure i questioned everything about myself. It’s taken me months to feel normal again.

[@Hiraghm]

Actually, I'm starting to find peace by giving up hope.

[@thesexiestbaby]

i get that. its an ironic kind of freedom

[@Antoine2208]

The term Borderline should be replaced by « Emotional dysregulation ». The term Borderline is not descriptive and mislead people.

[@theticaljj]

Here in the UK its officially called "Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder" now, which is a better description I think. Unfortunately, "Borderline" is so entrenched as a label that this has added more confusion for some people, who think that these two are actually different things! My understanding of the use of the word "Borderline" is that it refers to the disorder being on the borderline of a psychosis- ie: nearly psychotic but not quite.

[@c.b.3169]

As the doctor suggests, it's more of an emotional problem than a personality problem, and I agree that of all the names Emotional Dysregulation is the most appropriate. I was happy to see this comment.

[@justanothermeg3693]

I've heard some people interpret borderline as being "dissociative personality disorder, but a little less severe" Its sad.

[@filippians413]

Or Developmental Trauma Disorder is another option.

[@supermodelatlanta1354]

Antoine2208 your on the borderline of going either way

[@Geshtafshnifka]

Okay this video demystifying the misconceptions needs to be a must-watch for everyone centering around mental health.❤️❤️❤️

[@jemmapuri1008]

I have never been diagnosed and I spent a lot of my time trying to act as opposed to react! I definitely think i have a mood and an over reaction disorder! I can even tell when i'm doing it. I try so hard to remove myself for 24hrs and I will then be able to act more normally and rationally. I wish i had been taught at an early age that i do not need to react to every emotion that explodes in in my brain. The difference between feelings and thoughts had never been explained to me before. I miss my dead mummy, but I am realising that she was part of the reason I go with my bodily feelings rather than my logcial mind. I so hope I can break that dramatic and totally inappropriate behaviour for my darling daughter. I so hope I can keep myself as near to normal as possible for her. she deserves it, I can see how my parents were totally inept. I am not blaming them but recognising traits. thank you

[@ibbitysnoosni]

I have been following this series since it started. I actually, to my surprise, was diagnosed with BPD maybe 3 videos in. Thank you. I am beginning to understand myself

[@PositiveMommaLife]

I love Dr. RAMANI! Also, I LOVE the interviewer and this channel. Thank you for this priceless information!

[@melissaoconnell5648]

Thank you for talking about the importance of breaking all the various ways stigma holds people back.

[@petparadise6955]

Dr Ramani is so articulate and knowledgable. These videos are such a life changer for me. Thank you so much

[@KyleRHudson]

in the short time this KZbin page has been broadcasting (and Dr. Ramani Durvasula specifically), so much has been done to educate a vastly ignorant populace about very prevalent and devastating personality disorders, i.e., NPD, BPD, etc. Thank you so, so much and keep up the good work!

[@katk925]

These videos are sooooo informative and helpful! I love Dr Ramani! She’s super knowledgeable and well spoken. Great explanations.

[@imanievans8830]

I love her too.

[@MrsDidina11]

I love her toooo

[@pentuplove6542]

Any critical thinker is able to do the same. Knowledge is nothing in and of itsself, anyone can read and become knowledgable. It is being able to think and expand on what is alteady know. Or better still come up with some new and true. That is something higher than knowledge. How many have got tested for CoViD-19 thinking an unscientific cottonbud up the nose and tested is a way to show one has contracted CoViD-19 aka Coronavirus Diseasd 2019? There are many deadly bactera and virus up all our noses, test for those doesnt mean we are infected. The scientific method used is a blood test. If the virus or bacteria is in our blood, we are imfected. Blood tests are not used due to being more expensive and require more resourses and time.

[@khadija2fly]

The guy giving the interview did a great job! he asked really good questions

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

I have BPD, and I am pretty "evened out" UNLESS I am around someone who hits on my wounds constantly. I had an old roommate who I believe has NPD, and oh my word, I was mental. Now that I am away from that, I am so evened out. I do have up ups and down downs, but it is not as extreme as these type of videos make it out to be.

[@2010cmarie]

Stop placing blame on the room mate own your condition

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

@@2010cmarie LOL.

[@deuscognito8900]

Exactly! Some people are nothing but detrimental to our mental health! Gotta learn to get away from them! Most people are actually understanding from my experience, the ones that aren’t, it’s good to know that because you can then rest easy knowing they’d be nothing but harmful to you. 🙏🏻

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

@@deuscognito8900 Yes! Took me awhile to learn, but thankfully I did! Doing better than I was, even. Thanks for your kind words.

[@sashawalker4492]

@@stefaniamalatesta8076 agree. It took a lot of work, but I am much more emotionally balanced as long as I stay away from those who created me. They are the only ones who can trigger me. So I stay away. And life is good. :)

[@mandymoore5774]

It’s extremely frustrating and overwhelming and disappointing to live w something like this. “I hate you don’t leave me” is so accurate a title of our core. I found it SO upsetting when I read BPD’s are psychopaths. We’re not (or at least I’m not) a psychopath! I’m not a serial killer! To have lived in a world totally understanding and properly medicating all of these mental issues. I want to know was it possible to have gotten this bc maybe my mother was depressed or angry while pregnant w me?

[@thehighpriestess8431]

Thank you for having her on the show. Dr. Ramani knows her stuff! She can explain mental illnesses and how they are different from one another.

[@kaseyhorsburgh1521]

Only just found this account this week, I’ve never felt so validated and understood in regards to my BPD in my life

[@stellabandante2727]

Thank you for this clarity. I have never understood this as well as I do with your explanation.

[@MW713]

How can someone w/BPD get this type of "all day" therapy if they live alone and are the only one they have to pay bills? It seems impossible to get help yet we can't get disability because in Texas they say it's curable. Well maybe but you'll be homeless. Ugh. I just used guided meditation and a true sometimes failed attempt at mindfulness. I wish I could get help. How does someone get BPD in the 1st place?

[@davidcleland8457]

Learning about bpd from a dear friend who has it, she had a severely traumatic childhood which I think is a factor in a lot of people's diagnosis.

[@geekscene7187]

BPD is called "Emotionally unstable personality disorder" in the UK sometimes.

[@Amenta013]

It's called that in the German manuals, too

[@VampiraVonGhoulscout]

Yeah, that's what I was diagnosed with. That and complex trauma (C-PTSD).

[@Veeisforvictory]

“People with insecurities always spread those insecurities onto other people.”

[@compendiumyo3358]

I have BPD diagnosed by 3 different psychiatrist. I am here to say there is light at the end of the tunnel with a monumental amount of work it can get easier to live with. I still have episodes, but they are not as deep and they don't last as long. I know you are all fighters or you wouldn't be here so keep fighting the good fight you are worth it! You are so valuable even if you don't see it. ❤

[@ally8420]

This video is everything I've ever wanted. The term Borderline itself strikes stigma, fear and a lot of misery for people diagnosed. I only tell my closest friend the term of my diagnosis but this video is everythinggg. God bless

[@mypreciousbunny4300]

I was diagnosed with bpd last week. I have a mild case of it now but when I was younger it was really bad. I made it to where my family didn't talk to me for 13 years because they couldn't deal with me anymore. I made life chaotic for everyone. I didn't set out to be like that it would just happen. I couldn't keep a job more than a few months for many years this went on. No one would be my friend because they couldn't handle the rage that I brought into their life. And then the weirdest thing happened. I went to bed one night when I was 33 and I woke up a totally different person. Yes I still had anger issues but they are manageable. I woke up a quiet, shy, person who didn't want drama or chaos in my life. I like the peace that silence brings and I hate to be confrontational now. No mental health doctor can explain what happened to me. I went to bed a very angry and toxic person and woke up the complete opposite. All in less than 12 hours. I do have bad days sometimes but it's completely manageable and I don't fly off the handle anymore at people. Life is peaceful now. Sometimes I can even feel a sense of normalcy. Well that's my little crazy story. I suppose I will never know how it changed but I'm grateful for it.

[@gingerrivas5354]

Dr. Ramani is soooo good!! I was terrified about having BPD but listening to this video made me feel very calmed down

[@Marixpress2]

A video on treatment for BPD with this doctor would be greatly appreciated

[@SA-kh8pb]

I liked everything she said up until ideal treatment is partial hospitalization- bpd exists on a spectrum and sometimes dbt and meds to control symptoms can be enough to help u manage wo need for hospitalization

[@user-yb6qj7kg3f]

Good video! Ramani is a great specialist!

[@BODYBYLION]

Wow! Such a great insight, thank you! Bring on the healing! 🔥💪🏾♥️

[@jakewhoskate]

These are so helpful. My brother unfortunately is experiencing significant mental health issues but refuses therapy because they aren't someone he knows. Trying to just be there for him and find ways to help without being judgemental.

[@shiannepalmer3253]

Having borderline personality disorder is so hard. wish I never had feelings

[@JoshB_17]

Tell me about it my mania I get is just mad all over place I’ll be

[@meggieferron4404]

I live with BPD for many years and I never been able to get the help I need since. Unfortunately, I am not the only one in this situation. The waiting list just for a 2 month group therapy is so long and the access process is so complicated ... I gave up. So many people have mental health issues. Healthcare professionals are overwhelmed and cannot help us properly. To be able to respond to the high demand for help, therapy is quick, and problems are only worked on the surface. In addition, there are several other constraints. I hope that someday, people struggling with their mental health issues can finally get the right care.

[@sins.deadly.7]

Love this channel and the host and all the guests and those involved 💜

[@MagentaMageta]

Dr. Ramani blew me away with her opening statement. The way she redefined BPD makes so much sense! I love her for her knowledge and openness! Thank you, MedCircle.

[@lifeislife6]

I love your channel and Dr. Ramani :)

[@shaburaj8360]

Dr. Ramani u r the best...amazing encyclopedia ☺

[@odoherty9434]

These are so great to have available at our fingertips, been with somone with bpd, we had a kid and this behaviour is getting worse every week. So glad to have these so now I wont approach this from an anger perspective because the partner with bpd cant help themselves but approach from a position of transition to therapy which has worked..this person has wronged me and mine in many ways and sometimes even I'm just as problematic because of my approach. Instead of leaving when she goes nuts I need to comfort her even if I'm mad shes done and or still acting hostile I must remember that shes just not well and remind her that I'm never gonna abandon her....its a start I guesa

[@C.Hawkshaw]

Can I tell you one reason these vids are so valuable? I’ve been to about 7-8 different therapists over the course of 35 years. Often, it seems to me that they keep their diagnosis and information about the disorder hidden from the patient. This has always been infuriating to me (of course with BPD, so many things are 😛 LOL) So yes, I started seeing therapists 10-15 years before there was internet, and KZbin, so it was really hard to find out anything about mental disorders. You had to go to a university library and search and search through textbooks and old books written in the 1930’s, stuff like that. I’ve had tons of new insights to my mental disorders just in the last two days, watching all these MedCircle vids, and Tammy Grimm’s vids. Thanks MedCircle, Kyle and especially Dr. Durvasula for explaining things so clearly and openly.

[@antnee5150]

I was diagnosed BPD back in 1999. Being a man it truly sucked. I would go to DBT group twice a week and I'd NEVR ever saw another man in the groups. I got treated like "oh your a man you wouldn't understand ". Kind of comments which sucked. I'm grateful for my therapy but I so felt alone being there were no other men in groups.

[@veniceviolet16]

I am almost convinced this is what i’ve been experiencing i’m in day 3 of a deep dive into bpd. i’ve learned so much. my childhood was the definition of invalidating and my parents were/are cruel people. but what i just learned is that since i have quite literally less than a dollar to my name is that i’ll never get the treatment that i REALLY need. i am extremely motivated bc life as is will not work much longer. quite terrified all 9 traits apply to me. my mood will change from hyper anger to hyper sadness to hyper happiness in less than an hour. last night my boyfriend was my world but two days ago my entire being wished that i would never see him again bc of a sentence he said to SOMEONE ELSE.

[@sabrinap9421]

It’s so hard to be in a relationship w BPD! One minute you love them so much, then the next minute you don’t understand why you’re even dating them lol

[@eashaankumar7651]

This videos are incredibly helpful! Thank you!

[@rosalindr4975]

I have had depression and anxiety, ptsd, recovering alcoholic… and numerous immune system issues. Counseling was so difficult to obtain and I often had to get a new counselor because of insurance limitations or they would make a career move. Very frustrating. I have a family friend that won’t consider counseling for what most people have labeled bipolar. I think my friend has b p d and self medicates. At this point all I can do is pray for her. She gets so offended when I bring up my own experience with depression , rehab, etc. she gets defensive so fast.

[@Glenn1441]

Dr. Ramani states it clearly regarding recovery from or management of BPD symptoms -- hope with caution. DBT and other skills or talk therapy are only effective when the client completely commits to the long haul and intensiveness those therapies require in order to be successful. And for many cost is indeed an issue given the limitations of insurance coverage. In NYC, both Columbia Presbyterian Hospital and St. Lukes (affiliated, I believe, with Mt. Sinai Hospital) offer intensive, longterm, outpatient DBT programs that accept a wide variety of insurance including Medicaid. Waiting lists could be long, but it's encouraging to see such facilities in a heavily populated city such as NYC. Otherwise, when searching for similar programs online, one tends to find a plethora of private facilities located in particular states. In any case, moderate to severe BPD requires a great deal of time, personal commitment and willingness on the part of clients as over time, BPD indeed informs the personality of the individual -- which is why BPD is a disorder of the personality to begin with. "Hope with caution." Well put, Dr. Ramani.

[@blubbblubb6239]

Thank you very much for that informative Videos! Could you please also make a video about how it feels like for a mother/father with BPD, which struggles they have in special (very close relationship when children are very small and abandonment fear when children grow and get independent?? How to deal with it as a child? Would be sooo helpful to understand!

[@naughtypixie13]

Thank you for going so in depth!

[@kittenrants]

I find it so difficult to stay in therapy! I want to be there and i love it! it helps soooo much.. but i always give up even if i love the worker.

[@dragonbridge]

In Sweden we call bpd emotional instability personality disorder. Thank for the information, I've been struggling alot and the doctors thinks that I have both bpd and bipolar type 2.

[@lisarodriguez6966]

I once had a wonderful therapist that described BPD instead as emotional intensity disorder. I can tell you that for myself it does seem to fit a little bit better than the former name. Not sure why it was never considered or took root.

[@aw123336]

Great information. Could you do a video about histrionic personality disorder as well?

[@lexilei9950]

I think borderline is a great description. Because it seems to be on the border of so many personality disorders. People confuse it for narcissism, manic depression, depression, anxiety, cause there are so many elements of these disorders.

[@Presticles1]

There seems to be a desire to change the name and distance itself from some of the darker aspects of the personality disorder because women get diagnosed with BPD more than men IMO. The types of things BPD's do is more than just being emotional like this person basically boils it down to.

[@Gingebear]

I have BPD, I’m very aware of it and how it effects me. I spent years reading, wondering what the heck was wrong with me coming from a emotionally unstable family, feeling I as an individual was all wrong. I’m very mindful of how I impact on my husband and children. My husband over the past two years has become intolerant of me after 17 years together. I feel at 38 my symptoms have become more problematic.

[@7Lovz7]

In Denmark we call it emotional instability disorder, though it is also named borderline

[@Leviatiemily]

I'm already getting help but these videos do give me something to discuss with my docs so I can learn more. For me I feel like if I know what's wrong I can react better.

[@Thomaschapmanbfc]

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2011 at a V.a Hospital also Major Depressive Disorder, SchzioAffective Disorder.. Insightful and on point.. Nodded my head to it..

[@kiss4strawberry]

I was diagnosed as having an emotional instability but they never say if it's BPD in particular(where I'm from they don't diagnose personality disorders, they just put you in a neurosis or psychosis category). When something triggers me I might react as a person with BPD would with what they call borderline rage. After those episodes I always feel guilt and I make sure I punish myself with isolating and starving myself (I'm extremely underweight). Anyways, most of the time I almost feel nothing. I don't feel emotional, happy or sad. Just bored and extremely worried about one family member (I can't stop thinking and caring about him to the point it drives me insane). Whenever I read about personality disorders I find myself having all of the symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder. I exhibit those symptoms for over 5 years. I also score very low on the narcissism scale. Even though I'm mostly a masochist and enjoy being miserable and lonely I do have sadistic tendencies when someone rubs me the wrong way though. But it doesn't last long, I always come back to being passive, boring, avoidant and masochistic.

[@emilyr3155]

You sound very empathic. I'm glad you recognize this within yourself. Many people dont even realize that they have a problem and that they are hurting other people around them. The first most important step is recognition and from there things can get better. Know that your feelings are soemthing everyone feels just to a 10x more than what's expected during an emotional episode, and they last longer. When you recognize at the moment, hey I am angry, okay now how am I going to respond to this anger. Am I going to react or overreact, am I going to feel like the world is caving in? Stop yourself right there and say NO because none of that is happening, all feelings come to pass, this will be over. Its important to gain control of your mind. Think of it this way, would you like to have someone control you? No. You hate that, you want control over all situations possible, dont let the emotion take over and control your entire day, week even life. Be angry, scream into your pillow, punch that punching bag. But dont ever harm yourself or anyone around you. Take that anger out on a punching bag and then go get a book, go to CHURCH and forget about that situation because whatever it is, it's probably not life threatening! If it's not life threatening it's not worth staying in a rut for days and weeks and harming yourself. You are better than that. Say F BPD I am more than that and I WILL control you you wont control me! I encourage you to pray, and pray that st Michael thr archangel prayer in times of pure rage, anger and depression.

[@Sean_Re]

Can you make a video about people diagnosed with three or more things like depression, bipolar, and personality disorders?

[@shannybaby628]

But my bf was diagnosed with borderline and I can see in so many ways like how he can’t be alone . My last boyfriend was a narcissist they are nothing alike

[@sal2975]

They've both been diagnosed by a trained professional?

[@markymark863]

Narcissism and borderline are almost identical. You couldn't be more wrong. The biggest difference is that BPDs frequently threaten or attempt suicide and are preoccupied with a fear of abandonment, but the weak ego and lack of empathy is present in both conditions. Especially manipulation.

[@darthkenobi6726]

@@markymark863 Well you're wrong so...

[@delaineymacphearson6850]

Can’t be alone? Alone is all that works for me.

[@chipso.4750]

@@markymark863 True but sorta While BPD may not realize it, a lot of BPD (not all, but mostly the jealous types) threaten suicide as a means of control Though a lot of BPD have massive amounts of empathy, some don't have empathy at all The type of BPD I think you're describing is petulant Petulant BPD is insecure, so they lead to controlling their partner, and micromanaging them, while threatening them if the partner attempts to leave A horrible pattern of abuse really The abuser blows up on the victim, feels guilty and apologizes, and makes it up to them, only to blow up on the victim again This cycle of abuse is extremely harmful on the victim's mental state, and unfortunately I see a lot of people with BPD doing it with their partners :(

[@SybilKibble]

Thank you Dr. Ramani. I have a friend with this and am wanting to understand him better. He hurts so much. I try and keep in touch briefly with him daily over text so he does not think I bailed on him.

[@margaretmenefee1303]

My narcissist husband always told me I was a bipolar bitch. His attempts at trying to control me completely damaged me. DPT has really helped me manage my behavior. The book that goes with it has helped. And my therapist and group therapy have saved me and helped me control my suicide tendency.

[@heyitsbethxo9957]

DBT is frequently free in many counties in the US I've done 3 yrs of DBT. EMDR for trauma. Trauma counseling, and one on one therapy just finished my 3rd intensive outpatient. It is a full time job

[@biff481]

This was very helpful. Thank you both. ✅

[@jakecorynthian3516]

Eye opener! Thanks for the insightful videos

[@davidcleland8457]

I absolutely feel for people who have bpd. I was in a 4 year relationship with a beautiful lady who has bpd and it is a tough relationship to be in. It wasn't the cause of the relationship ending but she really could have some bad days.

[@JR-dt9ie]

I had no idea I grew up in a bpd home. I'm married, 30 yrs, adult children. I have a very patient spouse.

[@dalodulo1373]

Ive had bpd for a while myself, but i think i've found an even balance. Although it still has its annoyances. And solitude is a must in some cases.

[@jackpoe3281]

I had a roommate that has BPD is in therapy for it i was read up on it to find out what not to do or say wrong.he was always joy full. Then one night his face and voice changed then he told me he would kill me if he wasn't on probation went tolding phyopath screaming horrible shit. I seen mad people. But never in my life seen and felt so much hate from a. Person. So quick a change in him i am sorry but i hope i never meet anybody again with BPD.