Boyfriend Wants Me to Lose Weight (Is That Okay?)

Boyfriend Wants Me to Lose Weight (Is That Okay?)
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[@wavynaturalista]

Rose!!!! This is literally what happened with my ex husband! He detached from me, then said it was because I needed to lose weight and look better. So I lost a ton of weight and guess what? He found something else that was “wrong” with me and continued to stay detached. I found out later on that he was cheating. Listen to Dr. John- it never gets better and your boyfriend will absolutely find something else to put you down for. Do not fall for his tears, his “hurt,” his manipulation. Leave while you still have your dignity and do not look back.

[@josecarlosxyz]

well your husband is not wrong and you should lose weight

[@dewilew2137]

I am so sorry this happened to you, but I’m so glad you’ve come out on the other side! You’re incredible! 🤗

[@dewilew2137]

@@josecarlosxyz Jose, we all know you’re overweight, balding, unattractive and underpaid. Stop projecting your insecurities onto beautiful women with whom you’d never have a chance in Hades. Get over yourself, and get a life. For all our sakes. 🙄

[@dewilew2137]

@@josecarlosxyz also, please know that this is the mild version of the comment I wanted to leave you. My first one got deleted. Thank Dr. John and KZbin for your spared feelings.

[@doesnotFempute]

I feel like I'm going through this right now. I've lost weight and started taking better care of myself overall, including mental health treatment. My husband still doesn't look at me and rolls his eyes when I ask to snuggle. I don't necessarily think he's cheating, but I don't think he would say no if the opportunity presented itself, either. He's definitely bored with me and hoping I leave.

[@Hiddenplace414]

My narcissist ex told me once that his ex was very active and how much he admired that..so I started weight lifting and toned my body and made my booty rounder qnd guess what he never said anything..and then found other parts of me to pick apart. Those types of guys don't love you period

[@DAce-vu5ct]

Sadness

[@sarahgomez6740]

I hope you continued to workout, be healthy & take care of yourself for your own health. My ex is narcissistic & I can understand where you're coming from. Take care of you❤

[@sarabennett6295]

I hope you did not get in shape just for him. You deserve more. Do it for yourself, your health and for no one else

[@womeninhistory-f2r]

I went on one date with a guy (dancing and bar hopping). All night he was telling me I was fat. ALL NIGHT. I was 5'4 and 125 pounds. I ignored him bc he wasn't going yo ruin my fun night of dancing. At the end of the night, he asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant. Me. The girl who was so "fat." I told him bye and deleted his number. I could smell the manipulation a mile away. Where he messed up was that he tried it on me too early. Other guys wait till your feelings are invested before whipping it out. Just leave. It'll hurt but not as much as realizing the mental damage you have to repair from staying.

[@JaneCrossan]

Well done for seeing the red flag before you got involved!

[@ykonratev]

Okay well are you fat tho?

[@exnecross3141]

5.4 125 can be fat depending on your build and muscles

[@womeninhistory-f2r]

@exnecross3141 I was an athlete in high school and did an hour of cardio each day plus strength training at the time I met him. But that's besides the point. If you are really concerned, WHY would you offer to feed me unhealthy food in the middle of the night?? So I can get fatter and you can keep complaining? So you can say I'm so lucky you decided to stick with me anyway? Yeah, that's called manipulation. Who wants to live with that.

[@exnecross3141]

@you-remorethanamom my wife is japanese, she is 5'2 and barely 100 pounds, sometimes in the 90s. At 110 pounds she is fat (like, actual tummy rolls fat), much less 125. So it really depends. She wants me to encourage her to lose weight, so whenever either of us get too big we let each other know. We aren't crazy body conscious althetic types either, just trying to do the right thing in the midst of toxic "body positivity."

[@sanjana27007]

My ex did the exact same thing! I literally felt like I was listening to myself in this video 😢First he wanted me to lose weight, eat healthier, and workout FOR MY OWN HEALTH because my health habits were pretty bad. Then I changed up my lifestyle completely (I was working out 2-3x/week and eating a lot healthier), but it still wasn't good enough for him! He then wanted me to lose weight so that he would get more physically attracted to me because his physical attraction was lacking because of my weight. I did have fat on my body, but I was still in the healthy range, not even overweight! He wanted me to be model skinny, have a flat stomach, and he even started shaming me for what I ate. I dumped him.

[@gigichica]

That's what my ex did, and I dumped him.

[@fattyjaybird7505]

.... and thats that. Would you lie to someone that you no longer felt attraction for, just to ..... not say it. Would you sleep with someone you were no longer attracted to? Why?

[@kathiemathias212]

Good on you girl.

[@slothisasin8240]

​@@fattyjaybird7505 I mean, why would he want her to be underweight? Models are usually not a healthy weight, and most of them suffer the consequenses of staying that weight for longe periods of time. She already lost weight to where she was healthy, and he wanted her to be underweight?

[@fattyjaybird7505]

@slothisasin8240 then they just can't be together, no one should be with anyone they are "unattracted" to ....regardless of the reason

[@alejandraflores7243]

Leave before he leaves you At some point he will find another thing to change and it will never be enough for him Do it for yourself be the best version of you for you

[@JS-tv8sf]

Yep.

[@boo2731]

My partner and I keep each other in check about finances, dietary choices, exercise, etc because we want to create the healthiest situation for our future selves.

[@josecarlosxyz]

you are doing fine, dont listen this guy

[@boo2731]

@@josecarlosxyz complacency

[@Joel-pg4yi]

People need a back bone. It's a guy thing. Man call out on people's weaknesses to motivate others to improve Its not meant to degrade you. We have to lie to women because they always want to be told lies that they are perfect instead of motivating to improve themselves. Look I was in love with amazing woman had amazing heart she was what social norm consider fat. It's better to lose weight for her own health. It's not like I loved her less just because of the weight

[@sore.neculai87]

Me and my partner too. We respect eachother and communicate very well

[@Veracityseeker7]

GOOD

[@ew2645]

Better alone that with someone who kills your spirit.

[@Jigbunu]

Sounds like she’s killing his…and the fridge

[@Shaolin91z]

😂⬆️⬆️⬆️ And the fridge

[@leslietarter2096]

Absolutely

[@davidmolina7543]

Touché

[@wearelove8025]

Amen!

[@SamanthaURen]

My abusive ex would always point out my weight. We broke up and I lost 90 pounds. We got back together and he would then comment how I wasn’t attractive because my boobs shrank. Abusers ALWAYS find something. It’s to keep us small. My boyfriend met me when I was 60 pounds lighter. I got pregnant and gained 90 pounds during, and have held on to 60 pounds. He has NEVER commented on my body. I have told him how insecure I am and he says I will always love you at any size.

[@juakin-qw8vi]

Loving you as a person is great. However, you should consider how to lose weight because that's not healthy in the long term

[@Johnamerson]

Damn you gained 90 Ibs ? That’s almost the size of a middle schooler. You were doing allot of unnecessary eating during your pregnancy. If your partner loves you then they will tell you to lose weight for your health. Because when you get older that weight is going to catch up with you.

[@SamanthaURen]

@@Johnamerson oh really! Thank you. I never knew this. Thank you for telling me this. I will try losing it right away! Insert sarcasm. You don’t know what my health or medical status is. You don’t know why I gained that much weight. AND you don’t know what I’ve been doing to tackle it and lose it. So stick to yourself and clearly you missed the point of my comment. Move along Nancy.

[@Aainaizunzub]

@@SamanthaURenhe’s right. You people will say everything just to never admit a simple fact that you can’t stop eating. It’s not healthy- period. And when it comes to a relationship of course looks are not the most important thing but don’t you think your romantic partner should be physically attracted to you? You are in denial and can’t expect everyone to do so too. Just get healthy.

[@WaterKatara]

Part of being insecure is also not being able to handle the comments. If you want to love yourself you also have to be able to hear other peoples' comments and make a decision for yourself. If you don't feel like you have to lose weight then don't. People are just giving you their opinion because 90 lbs is a lot so just consider that you life matters enough to make good decisions for yourself!

[@SummaGirl1347]

My former "boyfriend" is obsessed with Asian women and Asian p0rn. When we were dating I got told: "I love you but...could you make sure you stay really, really skinny and dye your hair black and always wear it down and straight?" Dr. Delony is exactly right. Either you are what he wants or you are not. If you change one thing, he will want you to change something else. The reality is, he doesn't find you attractive and wants you to be the bad guy and break up with him. You are worth being loved exactly as you are. And, if you can't find that kind of love, it is INFINITELY better to be alone than to put up with that kind of abuse just so you can be in a relationship.

[@exnecross3141]

Same here that's why I married a japanese woman

[@ghostophelia2245]

Ugh that is so creepy.

[@User826r37]

What is so horrible tho about saying you are already beautiful but I think being skinny is cool as long it is achievable why Is it soo badd? And sure change other things grow nails longer hair whatever what I'd wrong about any of that as long he isn't hurting you or calling you ugly just saying his preference while still loving you

[@amde8554]

He’s waving so many flags he could be directing traffic

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

I love this! Great analogy.

[@JustinCase780]

😅😅

[@cammy60467]

Great way to put it

[@FourSeasons04]

That is funny, yet true!

[@shanaz3]

Bunting

[@nicolettehaner7257]

Was in a relationship like that once. Our baby was only 3 months old and I was feeling pretty good about my post pregnancy body, although I still had a LONG way to go. One day I was changing and had my shirt over my head when my guy came in, grabbed my flab and asked when I was going to start hitting the gym and losing the weight. 😢 I didn't lose ANY until after we split. I am healthy now FOR ME because I deserve to be loved and so does everyone else out there!!

[@Shaolin91z]

😂. Glad I never let anyone move in. Stressful indeed. Separate living facilities seems to keep everyone on their best

[@DAce-vu5ct]

When women ask me to lose weight because I always have struggled deeply witj food I find it reasonable to get back into prime... For them, their pleasure as mucj as for me and my wellness

[@voulafisentzidis8830]

You instantly lost 10 stone when you dumped the fool!

[@nicolettehaner7257]

@voulafisentzidis8830 haha!!! That's the truth!!!! And my husband now loves me no matter how much weight I put on. I exercise and eat right, but it takes time to change to body and mind.

[@voulafisentzidis8830]

@@nicolettehaner7257 it's irritating that people expect there to be no changes as we live life (giving birth, growing older, illnesses, etc.). What happened to loving unconditionally? As an almost 70yo, I know that the superficial stuff is irrelevant. It's the heart of a person which matters. The bonus is that, hopefully, she won't spend a lifetime waiting for him to grow up.

[@raspberrykissable]

I was 19 5’3 and 105 lbs and my boyfriend told me you have cellulite you need to work out more. Let’s just say that years later we married and the goal post moved. I was young and naive. Now divorcing because nothing and I mean nothing is good enough. I found myself confidence and myself esteemed is back and I am leaving. These people break you down so you feel so low that you feel like you can’t move on. But there is a way out and it’s self love and self worth. Take care of you and let the people who need to leave your life leave so you can make room for better to come in. Good luck you sound like a sweet person.

[@wonderingsoul8021]

I'm sorry that happened to you but you gave her great advice and I sincerely hope she listens so she doesn't waist any more years of her life.

[@lynnebucher6537]

Same here, I went from tiny to an extra 10# and he started picking on my weight. Better to dump the man

[@johniii8147]

Should have just told him I wish your dong was bigger so we're even. He'd probably have shut right up.

[@dcambitionz2054]

Your not gonna get a better person, you attract what you are, and a divorce makes you less attractive…

[@raspberrykissable]

@@dcambitionz2054 you sound happy. 😂😂😂

[@emmawilkins5755]

I gained 5 stone between meeting my husband and him asking me to lose weight. It hurt my feelings but he had a good point. Its bad for my health and I don't look like the woman he was first attracted to. If however there hasn't been a dramatic change in your weight I don't think anyone has the right to demand you change. You will always be fearful of not being good enough. You might start to have an unhealthy relationship with food etc. If his motivation is not your health but his own ego even if you lose weight he will find something else to complain about. Sounds like he is insecure and pushing that onto you which isn't fair.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@donald johnson Speak for yourself. Boys, maybe immature ones, but for real men... looks are not the highest priority.

[@freeindeed8416]

@@colmwhateveryoulike3240 Please don’t argue with points that no one tried to make. He said looks are important. He did not say they were the highest priority

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@freeindeed8416 He may not have used those exact words but in context that is the point he is making. The context being OP's reference to the fact that the man is complaining about his wife being fat when she has not put on weight since he was initially attracted to her. In that context, the comment disagreeing with OP's assertion that he will find something else to complain about on the basis that physical appearance is important to men does indeed suggest it is a high priority. How else would you explain it otherwise?

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@amazonmandy I did it to imply immaturity on the part of men like that but yes, they are of age to be technically men. It's like telling someone to grow up. Physically they're grown but mentally they appear to have had an arrested development.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@amazonmandy Yeah, I see your point. I actually often make that point when it comes to serious sins and people's tendency to separate from their own sinful nature but I didn't realise I was doing the same thing with this boy thing until you connected those dots. Thank you very much. I'll be more careful.

[@janetbooth798]

The first time I heard my then husband say the words “you’re too fat to be attractive to a man“ was three weeks after I got married. That was such a confusing thing for me to hear. I was attractive enough to marry three weeks before this. Over the next 22 years, I heard that so many times. I was beaten down to the point that if anyone complemented me on anything having to do with my appearance, I burst into tears. The relationship deteriorated to the point that anytime my ex-husband and I had a discussion, it always ended with some variation of “you’re fat. If you weren’t fat, we wouldn’t have a problem“. My advice to this woman is to run away from this relationship as fast as you possibly can. Do not look back. This is not something that is likely to improve. That will be the best weight you ever lose. You do not need his baggage ruining your life.

[@celesteassi2721]

What a Jerk! 22 years in that situation ! You are an angel ma'am

[@Aainaizunzub]

You don’t need that baggage in your life but the baggage of your extra weight is not a problem right? That guy is a jerk for marring you when obviously he found you fat. But what about you? Why you’re not responsible for your part of the problem? You stayed fat for 22 full years. That’s 22 years. You just couldn’t discipline yourself to stop eating and become health all these years? It’s good for you that you divorced him. It’s not good for you that you are in denial.

[@dhritikapoor2897]

My husband is losing his hair. At first I thought I would suggest him a few remedies but then I saw him looking at himself in the mirror in a worried way . So I dropped the idea of bringing it up even once and kept telling him every now and then how handsome I found him. And then a few months back he came to me on his own and asked me if I knew what could be done about receding hair line😅

[@josecarlosxyz]

thats not the same thing.

[@karinaz.9182]

Aww this is so sweet, you’re so kind for not saying anything over something he has no control over. He’s lucky!

[@humansvd3269]

Weight is controllable, hair loss not so much.

[@bluegoat6323]

This is different. Weight and hair is different

[@dewilew2137]

@@humansvd3269 both are things that something can be done about, and both have a direct impact on attractiveness to the opposite sex. What exactly is the difference? He should have been on minoxidil and finasteride BEFORE he started losing his hair. Especially if his dad has a messed up hairline.

[@sophrosyne5900]

My ex, whom I was off and on with for 4 years looked at me after sleeping together , maybe 6 months into our relationship said to me that I had gained weight, and my ass had lost some of its definition. He said he loved me, but wouldnt have sex with me as much. It stung, and i had to take time to digest what he had said. I didnt lose weight. I told him if he truly valued me and loved me he would ask if I'm OK, or what was going on with me in my life to make me gain weight. He was a opiate addict, alcoholic, and sex addict ( I found out later , I was very naive and in denial because i've never done drugs and we didn't live together ) basically, any man that says this - is cheating , selfish, bored, and finding a way to belittle you . A real man would ask you to start going to the gym together or find an activity you like together. Learn the difference. Your boyfriend is a LOSER. Lose HIM.

[@joaninga3904]

Rose- I can tell you are very invested in this relationship, and you want it to work! A man who tells a woman he wants her to lose weight for him to have a "hotter" GF is not a good partner. He's into the superficial stuff, NOT into a strong relationship...you could lose the weight and he'd have something else to complain about. Please focus on what you want, your job, and becoming the confident person you want to be! YOU ROCK!!

[@pearlm1618]

Agree 100%! Today is a year since I broke up with my ex who was kind of similar to Rose's bf. I feel a little bit sad cos we had some good moments, but happy that after 2,5 years I have found the courage to eventually leave him. I have learned to love and accept for who I am and focus on myself and my new job and eventually buy a home😀.Stay strong Rose and do the right thing for your future self 🙏❤

[@aprilgonzalez7893]

The problem is a little deeper than just being superficial. This is emotional abuse. I wouldn’t even be comfortable getting nude if a man told me that let alone get intimate.

[@mariorta5017]

You dont tell your partner to change for you. My husband was big since kid and even in his family he was bullied. I am very active person and this was an issue at first because he is more sedentary. So, he likes weight lifting, he is now working out and I help him with his meals. He is losing lots of inches and I tell him how good he looks, he told me one time I want to look good for you. I hold his face and told him I love you for who you are, for how you treat me. I want you to be with me for a long time and I want you and need you healthy;but this depends on you, do this for you, no for me no for nobody for you and only you.

[@pearlm1618]

That is awesome,you are agreat wife and a friend to your man🙏❤

[@josecarlosxyz]

you tell

[@Joel-pg4yi]

I bet if he decided to stay fat you would have lost attraction to him eventually

[@JaneCrossan]

Wow! You are the most loving and supportive wife. I hope you are both doing well x

[@dc1674]

No. You do it for both of you. If you dont understand why it's unattractive to be fat you may want to read up on it.

[@crzyruskie86]

If she's the same exact weight when they met then he needs to just bounce. He's just not being direct and trying to find an excuse. Dude needs to man up and end it.

[@HolyHusky]

She’s lying about that lol…

[@Reshme77]

I remember my ex husband used to complain that all I did was diet exercise. Even though I did a great job lost about 70 pounds and still managed to maintain everything else in Our life People will never be satisfied

[@ModernSouthernBelle]

After you lose weight it will be something else. You will never be the "best" to him. RUN.

[@lovely1641]

Right? And what if he still decides to break it off after she loses weight? Now she has a body she never wanted and her self esteem has taken a dive. This reminds me of how guys would say things on dates like:"If you loved me you'd (insert selfish, usually overtly sexual ask here)" And barely knows the girl. And also, if she's dating for marriage: if she's making all of these changes now, how many more or how much bigger will they be then? She's gotta dump him

[@texan903]

People are attracted to certain physical, emotional, mental attributes, there's nothing wrong with that. When you have a partner who no longer meets those needs, it's time to adjust or move on.

[@sueblack5794]

Bingo. This because she is the same weight as when they met.

[@madarchermoto4955]

And when she refuses to quit eating hot dogs, keeps gaining weight and the guy eventually leaves her for an active, healthy woman then he’ll be the “pig” and “womanizer” and “asshole” right??? Lol … you females crack me up.

[@alexnadon6999]

@@SarahConnor562 you again. I hope you are not married. I would feel sorry for your spouse.

[@turteltaube2277]

Wait a minute, Did someone ask if that Lady feels she is overweight? She is probably just fine, what if her body is a strong build. Working in the building industry she is probably very strong, meaning she has a lot of muscle and not fat tissue. I love her for what she is, Honey you deserve someone better. A guy that shows you Love for who you are.

[@YZ-sb1yf]

I lost weight for my boyfriend. I still married the guy. A year and a half later we divorced. Would have been much easier to break up.

[@humansvd3269]

That doesn't mean stay fat. I'm fat, and I hate the way I look and the way it makes me out of breath and aches. I'm not under any illusions women should accept my weight and get turned on by it. So why should I get turned on by fat women? I wouldn't.

[@cathyosullivan718]

I don’t understand why he met her a certain way and then expects her to change. I’m sure he‘s no Brad Pitt.

[@freeindeed8416]

So she can’t be better? If she met him making 10 bucks an hour will she be happy with that 10 bucks an hour in 10 years

[@cathyosullivan718]

Usually coupled men and women both get heavier as they get older anyway. If you want a very fit partner, you should look for that from the beginning.

[@freeindeed8416]

@@cathyosullivan718 If you want a guy making good money you need to look for him from the beginning

[@freeindeed8416]

@@rr-brown6445 If you have to say probably, that means you are speculating to justify your point. It’s an assumption. He’s not asking a lot. She should be willing to work on her body

[@freeindeed8416]

@@rr-brown6445 It’s not an assumption, it’s a request. It’s not unreasonable either. Both parties are to try to look and be their best for their mate.

[@priyanshibhattacharjee3789]

Oh i feel her in such a deep level. I , just now , wrote a break up speech to my boyfriend, about this exact same thing, that, I want to get better , but not for anyone else but myself. And asked him why did he even came back in my life when he saw me, that i was the same as I'm now! I was such a positive, self loving person, and after him, i became soooooo insecure about myself, and I even searched on yt about this topic which led me to this video. God i would've never done it otherwise in my life lol. He changed me so much, in a negative way

[@chibi_undercover9663]

Sounds like a communication issue. Is he also making an effort to stay fit? Perhaps he is doing it for you and expecting the same. I don’t know, maybe sit down and talk about it

[@priyanshibhattacharjee3789]

@@chibi_undercover9663 update: he said he didn't mean to hurt my feeling and loves me as I am. Which I can actually see. So now there's no issues between us relating to body image. Plus also he has now left gym and says he feels secure with me and doesn't feel the need to look good anymore. Which i found really sweet. Hihi❤️

[@chinngis83]

What he said around the 3:30 mark is diplomatic, but is it true? A lot of us pretend to ask their partner to lose weight primarily "to help them"; but if we're honest, we just don't find fatness attractive. Is it so wrong to be honest.

[@scarpfish]

I fully support self improvement, but you have to do it for the person in the mirror, not another person's approval.

[@devpav9880]

Sometimes the motivation for self-improvement has to come from people you respect.

[@greenfly0917]

@@devpav9880 This guy clearly doesn't deserve her respect. She needs to level up!

[@Jigbunu]

She shouldn’t have made him the bad guy by making him have to bring it up. I mean she does have access to scales…

[@dewilew2137]

Rose sounds like an awesome woman. Why do women like this settle? I swear, female socialization ruins women. It makes us insecure, people pleasing, doormats for men. I hate it. I hate that society tells us to be this way. I hate that there’s so many amazing women with subpar men because it’s what we think we deserve.

[@blueberry4082]

Why do women think they need a penis owner to feel happy?

[@Barnabas555]

Are you serious?..she starts the convo out by saying I'm tired...her man is a saint he wants her to save her life!...her voice sounds overweight

[@asnmdnss]

she could be like morbidly obese, asking a person like that to lose weight doesn't make him a bad guy

[@stevendavis5095]

Someone kicked you husky ass to the curb huh? I’m sorry

[@susangrande8142]

@@asnmdnssthe caller said she weighed the same when the couple met.

[@micheller6804]

I had an ex that told me I should lose weight for my own health, then when I was eating healthier, he brought home junk food, then berated me for not having any.🙄 This goes nowhere but downhill.

[@customera7945]

My father used to tell me I was fat then bring me a dozen cupcakes when he came to visit even though he knew I lived alone and he couldn't eat any. It was an abuse tactic.

[@kristir1262]

Omg, I love the way he cheers up and builds up the people who call in, esp. the women. I love the way he makes the caller giggle 😍😍😍

[@AshleyLebedev]

Same.

[@nowandthennn]

But why do all these fat women call in asking questions that I hope they already know the answer to . Men are visual and they are never going to prefer fat over slenderness or find it pleasant to the eyes .

[@UlyssesRyan-Flynn-w8b]

When people say “just leave him”, it’s highly likely that he wasn’t always like this. He initially probably love bombed her, that’s why she finds the change so difficult

[@customera7945]

It's the capture and then seek to destroy move.

[@ChrisJericho-yf4db]

What's that have to do with anything ? It's a basic power game he's playing to see if she'll change for him and then she does he wins. He ain't with her for no reason.

[@mr5timewcwchamp]

1) she should leave him. He will never accept you for you, and will always move the goal post. 2) I’ve been working out for about 7 years now, and I tell any girl I date. “I don’t expect you to workout like I do, just do something healthy for yourself that you enjoy”. All of my exes picked up working out consistently while we dated. And still maintain it to this day. Because it has to come from a place of caring and love. I can tell when my girlfriend works out, and when she doesn’t. Not physically, but because her confidence is through the roof when she works out. She’s just happier in her demeanor.

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

I was married to a man for 24 years. He constantly demanded that I maintain a certain weight, look and energy level. I carried and nursed his two children and had endometriosis (which meant my abdomen changed from a size 10 to a size 14 in a months' time due to the disease not to mention the severe pain and exhaustion. I was already exercising 25 plus hours per week to try to keep my weight down while dealing with an Autoimmune Condition. This marriage ended after 24 years after our two sons were raised and launched.

[@Lala89856]

It breaks my heart to hear Rose's voice. Rose, you deserve better! I know it will be hard, but do it for yourself and before you have any children with him (in case you don't) you got this!

[@allhailsunshine052]

You lose weight because you want to and you do it for yourself . Losing weight is more than just looking good , it’s a lifestyle. I run and workout because it’s my lifestyle and I do it for myself before I married and after I married

[@javierhuizar4207]

Drop 170 lbs by leaving him.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

🤣😂🤣 I love this comment. Truth no lies told here.

[@zeal4god402]

😆 🤣 😂 LOOOOOOOOOL

[@freeindeed8416]

He’s be dropping a few as well

[@FourSeasons04]

Bingo! 😄

[@rachelann724]

Lol yea !! So true

[@martinjackson909]

In my opinion, guys should workout and try to look good for their girl. Girls should workout and try to look good for their man. It goes both ways

[@TheAgentmigs]

Absolutely. You don't get to just, "let your self go" once you get into a relationship.

[@zebrafigs8450]

I tototally agree. The thing is she said her weight never changed.. so she didnt let herself go

[@lovely1641]

@@TheAgentmigs Yeah...but she makes it clear she's the same weight so.....

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

🙄 I wish people would LISTEN - God gave us TWO ears and one mouth. She said her weight hasn't changed. It's not about getting in shape for someone else, if you're going to loose weight, it should be for you not what someone else is demanding. In this instance, it will always be about her not being good enough. Today, it's her weight tomorrow her clothes and the list goes on and on. He doesn't want a relationship with her, and is being emotionally abusive by demanding she change only to move the goal post. From that ZERO and get yourself hero.

[@zeal4god402]

Yup they should remain healthy for each other and gracefully express their concerns to each other. I do give her bf credit for honestly mentioning his desires, but we must be careful how we say things and not just say things

[@truckingwithtobee]

Don’t stay in that relationship. I’ve been with my husband for 30 years and he has said the same thing to me. I’ve doubted myself all this time.

[@youngdan7713]

So just let you be fat ? Lol

[@truckingwithtobee]

@donald johnson Come to my channel. I’ll answer them sometime 😊

[@susangrande8142]

So, you could take your own advice… 🤔 🙏

[@riannatyson4747]

Women’s weight fluctuates so much over the years through our 20s, pregnancy, 30s so on and so forth. When my boyfriend first met me I was at my skinniest I had ever been and most unhealthy. Now 3 years later, I’m about 15-20 lbs heavier but living a balanced, healthy lifestyle. He has seen my body change so much, but he loves me for me. This girl on the call needs to realize that this man is trying to change her, but if he truly loved her then the number on the scale means absolutely nothing.

[@xreediculousx]

Rose, concrete is a great career path. I have family and friends who do that type of work and make great livings. Wishing you all the best!

[@janelleg597]

Being reasonably attractive for your health and your partner and is important. We've been coddling overweight people for far too long. That being said, it's minefield navigating the intentions and concerns of such of a request in 13min only hearing from one side.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

It's not anyone's job to change someone. This guy is nuts, it's not even about the weight. He doesn't like it, move on.

[@lovely1641]

At no point did she gain weight. You're assuming she's overweight because he said something and ignored that he just may be a prick

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

@@therealbenji attractiveness is of the utmost importance in a relationship if you’re interested in maintaining a healthy relationship with a man. I’m married. If my wife gained 20 lbs we are going to discuss it snd I would expect the same in return. I do not want to spend my time and resources on someone who doesn’t have the respect for themselves or me to do the work on maintaining a decent physique. It’s no different than a man who just packs it in and plays videogames once married.

[@brettemiller8046]

If she feels ugly and weak and insecure because of her partner then the relationship needs to end. That's all the info need, we don't need his side because he doesn't need to agree. If she feels this bad then he's going about it wrong.

[@shachede6828]

@@Evil-Rod-Farva the problem is she said she looks the same. Why is he dating her??? And the way she feeling like she worthless because this man has broken her self esteem is bad. The way you tell someone to loose weight matters. Last year I gained 10lbs and it went to 137lbs but I use to weigh 127lbs. It wasn’t a lot but it made my face puffy and I was eating crap and I didn’t feel good. When my brother visited he said no this has to stop you’re getting fatter this will be bad for your health, if you don’t catch it now it will be bad. he got me a gym membership, workout apps. And he will run and exercise With me and I ended loosing the weight quick! In one month he stayed with me. And I incorporate the things he taught me. I think weight is very sensitive to women, so the way you say it and actions you do will really help. He can tell her honey lets start working out together so that we can live long. Or someshit.

[@johniii8147]

Doesn't sound like a keeper. He's emotionally distance and not staying on top of his own stuff and his solution is for HER to lose weight so she's "pretty enough". Take note of those HUGE redflags and find someone better. And John is correct, she knows what she has to do, she's just building up the courage to do it.

[@lovely1641]

And it just sounds like her making herself prettier for him is him asking for a reward for doing things to better himself. She just dodged a bullet. Dump this guy

[@johniii8147]

@@lovely1641 And she's likely find too if she's with a good supportive partner that weight will come off much easier (if that's a goal of hers). It's a cycle if you surround yourself with good caring people that make you feel good about yourself you tend to take better care of yourself with support for your goals.

[@JustinCase780]

Time to move on was like seven months ago...she will be MORE likely to be healthy without that mindf#$er.

[@marquisstrongchild7535]

Tell him you need him to make a couple more million dollars a year. You also want him to be the best he can be for you.

[@patinajadeatherton2385]

💯🙌🏽😆

[@CMM726]

Exactly

[@JasperCatProductions]

Excellent.

[@jchapful]

Money doesn't make you better..

[@findingaway5512]

You are worth it Rose! I bet you're going to be getting so buff with lift and concrete bags or all the heavy construction work that you're doing It's like a gym. You're going to end up crushing it physically doing what you love. But you deserve someone who loves you for you and cares about you. Surround yourself with people that lift you up and not ones that hold you down or make you feel less than you are. ❤️

[@johniii8147]

That's the key surround yourself with people that lift you up, not those say stupid uncaring bs like that.

[@DavidRamseyIII]

It’s very likely she stays fat forever. Dave Ramsey himself is a motivated genius, and he’s still kinda pudgey. What hope does this loser have?

[@johniii8147]

@9INE PLANETS Some do actually. There are are all kinds of preferences out there.

[@memegamermike4131]

Dude no job is the same as meticulously working out in a gym with equipment

[@tethergobrrr]

@@memegamermike4131 Real work makes way better looking bodies, or dancing. (In my eyes obvs)

[@Cowgirlkate]

Her power is in the concrete...metaphorically...she's trauma bonded to this guy....she will find her power and her strength once she starts believing that she deserves better....IMHO

[@alexnadon6999]

@donald johnson what kind of stupid, ignorant answer is that.

[@emmaleebuzzard1023]

Well we are obviously missing a lot of details, but it sounds like it times to break up. You’re just dating, not married, so move on and find someone else!

[@wolfsden6479]

For situations like this you need a good friend that can be brutally honest. Someone that can tell you flat out if you should be losing weight, even if you arw the same weight as you met but you are overweight. There is also a difference between someone that eats alot of crap and does 0 exercise being told to be better and someone eating generally healthy and working out a healthy amount being told to make yourself better. Really only someone really close can tell you if your partner is right. In general if he's a bad dude dump him, if he wants the best you then be that. This is way good honest friend are very important.

[@ttrev007]

don't date fixer-uppers. If he is not doing things for you while dating it will only get worse when you are trapped in a marriage.

[@johnconnor3687]

You're right. He should not date a fixer up. If she's heavy now I dread what will happen once she gets that one-way contract.

[@Jigbunu]

I think that advice is better for him. Don’t date a fattie because she will only get fatter in marriage

[@Jigbunu]

@@johnconnor3687exactly!!!

[@claudiobeachball]

@@johnconnor3687are you the boyfriend? Get over yourself

[@bkucenski]

If someone wants to get in shape as a couple, they're free to talk to you about active things you can do together. If they want to lecture you about what you should do, they're free to GTFO. You should care about your health for your own wellbeing. Not to impress other people.

[@hanschitzlinger3676]

It’s perfectly reasonable to ask your partner to get healthy. We need more people encouraging weight loss. It shouldn’t be taboo

[@greatvid4648]

I think that's why he said it depends on why. It doesn't sound like he wants her to be healthy it sounds like he wants her to look better. It's important to be sexually attractive to your partner as well that's something you should find at the beginning not ask them to change into. She's been the same weight since they met

[@charlesg7926]

I do agree. I actually find my wife attractive thicc, but if we wanna be healthy, I gotta lift more and run more/get buffer and she’s gotta exercise more too and get a little slimmer/fitter. When I mention gym time sometimes she takes it personally but it’s not like that

[@uhurtmeagen]

She never said how overweight she was. It is 20 lbs or 200lbs?

[@dianedehart]

True, however, it was the 'do it for me, so I find you more attractive' bit that was telling.

[@lovely1641]

It is but: she's the same size, he wants it for him not health, and they're not married

[@JenniferMoleski]

It seems criminal nowadays to tell a spouse that you want them to lose weight. Why??!?! It's not a big deal. We should be able to tell someone that we don't like their jealousy, bossiness, laziness, lack of respect, interrupting, makeup, toupee or their weight. I want my husband to come to me with his thoughts and feelings and it's my job to sweep up any eggshells around me so he can safely approach me. 6:30 John assumes that there's something wrong with the relationship. It could very well be that the man is getting comfortable enough to tell her his preferences. Doctor is acting as if this is the worst thing in the world when all it is is honesty. This seems ridiculous.

[@neigeepierrot4694]

I get your point though I think for John his issue with her boyfriend telling her to lose weight is wrong in the sense that the boyfriends intentions are wrong since he only wants her to do it for him not because of her or thier relationship

[@haileeroxana]

I completely agree. When I met my fiancé he was healthy and thinner. Life has changed for us since then and he has gained weight. He looks much bigger than before, he even looks more tired. He is 27 and he is pre diabetic. I worry for him and part of me is not as physically attracted to him like before. I kindly ask him to lose weight, I do not like seeing him like this. Hearing John say that asking someone to lose weight is selfish now makes me wonder if I am being selfish.

[@JenniferMoleski]

@@haileeroxana selfish to not want a fat spouse? Come on, now! How about teeth? If he makes a bunch of bad choices and loses his teeth is it selfish to say, "yo. You look like s***! Hey some teeth back in your head!" It's all subjective.

[@Dhuxul9]

Some people don’t want the truth good for that man for telling the truth

[@PinkieJoJo]

You have obviously not actually heard his response nor what she told him. This is her boyfriend not her spouse. This is how she is now not how she ended up down the road. He was focused on her attractiveness not her health. If he is not attracted to someone overweight he should not date them expecting them to change for “him”. His intentions are completely selfish and focused on his wants rather than her at all. She perhaps does need to lose weight but the sole reason should NOT be for him. She needs to leave him and work on herself for a while.

[@fotismichael1877]

Boyfriend seems to lack tact/grace in the way he treats his lady. That said, it's not a surprise he's checked out since he doesn't find her attractive anymore. Weight/attractiveness isn't everything in a relationship, but it does matter to most people.

[@johniii8147]

He's probably got one on the side already. That is usually more the cause of "checking out". She could also probably easily say herself to him well i'd be happier if your dong was bigger and you were more buff. If you're going to play the "attractiveness" game it's a two way street if that is your priority in a partner.

[@zeal4god402]

Yes. Physically attraction never guarantees successful relationships (celebrities and models know this the best). There are obvious red flags that should end a relationship and others that should not. I don't think him honestly expressing that he is not physically attracted to his gf and he would like her to shed pounds, should be an automatic break-up. This needs to be further discussed and the mystery unraveled more if she indeed is of the same weight. There is a possibility that this bothered him before, but because of her other amazing qualities, he swept this desire under the rug and never mentioned it to her like this before. Men have their needs and women have their needs. Both should be dedicated to CONSISTENTLY meet them or don't start a relationship at all. Stop starting what you cannot finish until death do you part.

[@rory644]

He’s probably overweight himself most men need to worry about themselves before judging their partner

[@shachede6828]

Yes it does. It’s the way he is asking it. Like she is a piece of meet. I will loose weight if my husband wants me to. But if he says it this way 😰😰😰 lord. You want your partner to find you attractive but this ain’t it. This man is making her feel worthless.

[@cpeacenlove]

She said she's been the same weight the whole time. What are you saying?

[@Mysterious_Moon]

He doesn’t want to be with you. That’s his loss. You sound wonderful. If you want to change, you’re worth the effort but not for some guy. It’s cliché but it’s true. I lost 140lbs and then my ex-husband. After I lost it, he said I was too good for him 😂 You can’t win with some people.

[@texan903]

That just means your husband freed you up to move on.

[@charlesg7926]

Did he actually tell you to lose the weight tho? Bcuz if he didn’t, well…..

[@commonsense5555]

There’s nothing wrong with asking someone you’re married to or dating to take care of themselves.

[@lefthanded5473]

The average Women is 20 lbs overweight. Meanwhile most women want a man that’s in shape. Why is it bad that a man whose in shape wants his gf to be in shape?

[@pearlm1618]

i love your coment❤and good for you!

[@kekejefferson9219]

He's trying to break you down. He's laughing at you when you cry. He's a Narc. You need to break up with him today.

[@elyse443]

It’s hard sometimes for women to realize there are millions and millions of other men. Best to just pick one that actually likes you, and you definitely can.

[@reidlingtheseedling]

The answers to questions like this really depend on the common values that the couple shares. I personally think that I have an obligation, morally and otherwise, to any significant other, to take significant effort to be strong and healthy, physically and mentally, and would appreciate that this obligation goes both ways. Some people do not share this value and that is ok. Conversations about values like this should occur relatively early in a relationship. If this value is agreed upon and shared, then this request is valid.

[@josecarlosxyz]

nobody is obligated to date obese people

[@Black_Samurai-fish]

I could not agree more.

[@dewilew2137]

Judging from what I can see, you must be single as hell. For a while now. 😕

[@AshleyLebedev]

That crap alllll goes out windows if you / either of you gets sick. Think about deeper things.

[@loganrun6010]

Yeah I don’t think you’ve ever been in a long term relationship nor do you know what it’s like to have kids etc. you seem like a dude who thinks he’s gunna get by with having a women look the same her entire life….guessing you aren’t in a relationship at all.

[@lorinmotta9585]

I do kinda wish Dr. John clarified what the guy literally said, but if what Rose is saying is true then it’s a no brainer.

[@TheAgentmigs]

Right, there's no easy way to tell your partner that you're worried about her weight. It's like a mine field, one misstep and all of a sudden you're an asshole.

[@suek7086]

Oh Honey, you are worth so much more. You deserve the best treatment. Demand it, expect it. John gave you great answers I pray you can do this Girl.

[@freeindeed8416]

Would you say the same to man who didn’t make any money?

[@Anangelfromabove]

I couldn’t put up with that as long as she has. If you happen to read this comment, you are so strong girl. But, you don’t deserve this for one second anymore. There’s a guy out there that will look at you and think you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. That’s what you deserve.

[@jeffhelton9510]

Yes diet and exercise are good for you and your relationship. Later health becomes part of the commitment.

[@JS-tv8sf]

My sincere hope is that these people who have partners telling them to lose weight do. Eat lots of delicious plant foods, start working out. Love yourself. And then ditch that loser who pinned their worthiness on how you look. Get rid of these clowns. There is somebody for you once you love yourself. Don't stay with a person who treats you like crap.

[@Jigbunu]

Your advice makes no sense. Why wait till the relationship is ending to do what ultimately u admit is the best way to be in order to be attractive

[@claudiobeachball]

@@Jigbunuthe relationship should end right away. They said "love yourself," not "the best way in order to be attractive."

[@davidhealdjr.513]

He should only want you to lose weight for health reasons. Like my wife acknowledges that I'm overweight (to which I say, no, I'm obese, I wish I was overweight) because she loves me.

[@gigichica]

Thank you for clarifying this!! I broke up with my ex because he asked me to get in more shape, I'm already in shape. So I took it as disrespectful & demeaning. I'm not going back to him. I love myself too much to be with a pig.

[@knownonsense2015]

“I’m heartbroken for you?” No, I’m excited for you!!!! Dump him.

[@johnconnor3687]

Please! He deserves better. Free him from his self-imposed obligation to someone who does not respect him.

[@claudiobeachball]

@@johnconnor3687no he doesn't. Her weight never changed, so he knew what he was getting into when they got together. If he has a certain ideal, he should've chosen differently.

[@cutietae247]

The crazy thing is, we don't even know if she is overweight or risk of health conditions. Some men will ask you to lose weight because they want you to be a size 0 or 2 , and she's simply a size 6 or something. She is doing construction so she is likely sturdy and strong . He is trying to make her insecure and defect from the fact he isn't engaged I'm the relationship anymore. It's It's sad to hear her cry about it, but I hope she leaves and gets better

[@slaffkas]

I second Mr. John's view: do it for you. For your health. I got on a vegan diet at 46 after heart surgery, concentrating on my blood work numbers. I found weight loss to be a pleasant side effect. Weight loss should not be a primary goal. Health should be. You looking better will take care of itself. Enjoy your journey, and you will feel younger in 19 years more than you feel now. God bless you!

[@lilgr0ck]

This was such a great talk! Thank you for how you navigate the conversation & talk to people John!

[@thrillseeker988]

This man did the right thing. He has standards.

[@rebeccabamford5505]

My second son was 9lbs 14oz, C-section. My ex looked at me one day. 6 weeks postpartum, and asked me when was all that going to go away. Do men just not understand women’s bodies? Women’s hearts and soul? Or do they just not care.

[@JaneCrossan]

💔

[@wearever908]

Reminds me of an old neighbor of mine. He was so bothered about his wifes weight. She lost a lot of weight then she divorced him. Someone who has a healthy self esteem and loves you for who you are won’t pick apart your looks.

[@mrseliephant]

Lose weight by dumping the boyfriend! Sounds like this guy is not for you.

[@johnconnor3687]

Please do. He deserves better.

[@art.with-ines]

Hope she got out of this. I spend 7 jears in such a toxic, abusive realatioship and in the end I had an eating disorder was really underweighted and needed to go to a klinik several month. I'm so proud of myself that I found the corage to leave even if I still struggles with feeling not pretty, worthy ore good enough. But I hope someday I gonna get there. And I pray for Rose that she is now free from this narcissist man. 🙏

[@kirylspence1190]

My bet is he's thinking of spending his life with her. It's one thing for girlfriend but now he might be thinking longer term and wants someone that maintains her weight. Not to say she did but too many people let themselves go after marriage

[@margaretstutler2873]

Rose you are worth way more than he is treatin you. You deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes you. Not this shallow person. Remember your worth and make your decsions based on that.

[@browneyedgirl4285]

Run for the hills!!!!!!!!! I married some sob who started that request only to find out he is a narcissist 5 years into the marriage. He used horrible excuses to control my food intake such as I want us to grow old together.......... get out while u can!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@MrBeautiful2908]

True beauty is skin deep. It also comes in all shapes, sizes, forms, colors.

[@Herbs-4-life]

The problem I have is that some men view skinny as healthy. I have also been asked to lose weight by boyfriend. He has posed it that he wants me to be healthy. I dont like how he approaches this. I do want to lose weight for me.

[@growing.grounds4054]

Man if she is fat then she should lose weight stop shaming men for wanting their women to look good smh it’s not right to let your body go AFTER you get comfortable in a relationship

[@jarrettclopton5881]

Absolutely 💯 This is unfortunately common these days from both sexes. Women can dump all over their male partners but if a guy brings up the fact that his wife is 300 pounds it’s suddenly insensitive.

[@Gentilejedi]

This is very true. Men are visual, then women complain about it and don't do something about it. Simple fact, if your man is not attracted to you = disinterest in s&x which men love to have. We as people cannot take away our primal needs. Signed, a woman.

[@lidewijcroes1795]

Beautiful girl. I just want to give her the biggest hug. She deserves all the happiness without this bag of rocks weighing her down.

[@bjaded6695]

This is a narcissist. His “love” is conditional to your attractiveness. I had a ex who did the same. Trash that needs to thrown out.

[@cleanspring94]

I wanna be friends with this girl! Doing a cool job, a hard job, she deserves way more.

[@zeal4god402]

I give her bf credit for honestly mentioning his turn-off and desire. Physical attraction is usually highly important to people and we are afraid of hurting the other person's feelings. It's ironic how we say we want real, yet when we get real, we get offended. Both people should stay physically and holistically healthy and attractive for each other and ultimately God, and express sentiments to each other in a graceful, tactful and respectful manner

[@Jane5720]

She said she was the same weight that she was when she met him, something has changed he’s got something going on

[@lovely1641]

That's like a girl dating you and saying you need to have more money. Even though she was fine with the amount you had when you met her

[@zeal4god402]

@@lovely1641 She would need to express that to me if that is important to her before we get deeper. In this situation, in my opinion, the guy probably didn't express this desire to her in the early phase of them building a friendship as he was likely mesmerized by her other qualities he was attracted to

[@lovely1641]

​@@zeal4god402 Just like he would have needed to express that much sooner. He wouldn't have dated her if he didn't initially find her physically attractive so that's a no go

[@zeal4god402]

@@lovely1641 You would be shocked 😲 at the amount of people who compromise their relationship convictions to fill gaps for money, attention, security, sex, and loneliness. Well, God knows the truth of his intentions. God is not a man that He should lie 🙏

[@cur244]

I was with a woman like this womans bf. I'd plan every single date for years, all trips, I'd exercise while she'd scroll social media and watch Netflix for 8 hours, plan 90% of meals etc. She'd only put in effort to meet with her family. It was just exhausting.

[@imhuy95]

It's pretty cool that a lady name Rose is pouring concrete slabs.

[@normantheforeman9866]

It just comes down to if they both want to work for it, but they BOTH need to do that in any relationship. If not, then go your separate ways. The heaviness in her voice kind of sounds like he’s almost saying things in a mean way, and that’s not acceptable

[@alicjanka100]

My husband was like that. He wanted me to loose weight as he was not attracted to me anymore after I had kids (and I am not fat, he likes skinny model looking girl). Eventually he had an affair and we divorced. I’ve heard no complains about my body since lol

[@ThreeorMore209]

Commenting on another person’s body is almost always wrong, morally, ethically wrong.

[@nicklowe_]

first two minutes and it's all red flags lol

[@lovely1641]

I thought I was watching a parade the flags were so many.

[@FreebieLady]

110%

[@srkidd12]

That's like her telling him that he needs to make more money.

[@Mysterious_Moon]

God, I don’t want to touch that combo with a 10 ft pole! On either side…yikes..

[@srkidd12]

@@Mysterious_Moon why not? Men don't care about a woman's degree(s). They care if she has student loan debt, that he'll have to pay for or help pay for. They don't trot over because of her Master's degree, it's her looks.

[@heathbrockway9040]

Rose, Ditch this guy...no one would ever talk or treat their significant other this way. I've been 80lbs overweight and as fit as fit can be. My wife never stopped giving me positive affirmation about how much she liked my body either way. And at the end of the day if you're out there doing concrete I'm pretty sure it's not about you being unhealthy, it's about the guy being superficial.

[@mjs28s]

So when you were 80lbs overweight she didn't care enough about your health to tell you to knock it off? This isn't about just your body and your wife clearly acted like she had to walk on broken glass. You also don't know if the guy is just being superficial or not. You are only hearing hear side of it with this j-hole Dr spoon feeding her on how she is supposed to be feeling about it. Listen to that video again and you can watch and her this Doctor walking her into feeling bad and then rewarding her for it like she is a child.

[@heathbrockway9040]

@@mjs28s to answer your question...to knock what off? You assume it's 80lbs that didn't serve a purpose. The 80lbs was added to eventually get me to a heavier lean body weight. Do you see my point now? Your idea of body weight and healthy/unhealthy is more than just lbs on a scale. My situation was different but you only hear 80lbs and overweight...and you jump to the only answer that makes sense to you. Tearing someone down doesn't help them reach their goal.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

Drop that ZERO and get yourself a hero. Be the best for him 🙄.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I wouldn't be surprised if she's not even overweight. He sounds like that kinda guy who thinks having a skinny model body is normal weight, and normal weight is fat.

[@westaussieeggs8867]

OHHH, I JUST LOOOVE John's response. My hubby of 51 years today, years ago told me after 24 years of marriage that he does not desire me any more as I got cellulite (@44yo) NOTY over weight though. My response: "tough my dear if you do not like how I look you have to trade me in for a younger version, I do not mind at all." Well he did not, we have known each other since he was 17, me 13, we have a connection that he will never have with anybody else, it is a bit like being within the same family but NOT. We had great sex, lots of problems when kids were young, I guess he had a few out of marriage encounters but I just knew that NOBODY would compare with me as a life partner. We think the same things at the same time, say the same things a bit like identical twins finishing each other's sentences. We will be celebrating 52 years of marriage soon and today at 75yo he is like : I cannot let you out of my sight. It seems as if I go shopping alone I will disappear.

[@Ryan_DeWitt]

Two questions 1. Was she the same body now when she first met him? 2. Is she truly "overweight?" Those are important questions to address.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

She said she was the same size as when they met. 🤔

[@korhonenemilia1816]

@@SarahConnor562 Someone doesn't have to do all that to not be overweight. I eat horribly, barely work out, and am a few pounds from being underweight (as per the BMI scale). Besides, her sole issue is that she doesn't think it's fair he's expecting her to change all of a sudden to "be pretty enough for him" when she's the same weight as she was before, i.e. the exact body he signed up to date.

[@zeal4god402]

He probably was too scurred to tell her all this before, he just wanted some jum jum

[@Ryan_DeWitt]

@@zeal4god402 That is very possible. Every man knows your attitude can change literally in about 5 seconds after "release" when you come back to reality.

[@zeal4god402]

@@Ryan_DeWitt 😆 🤣 😂 real talk on the chat

[@jfoxbeauty]

My dude said I was over weight and I’m not attractive to him anymore. I was 147 when we got together. I stopped working out bc I cook and clean all the time. I was 20mins away from my gym and now I’m 40mins. He’s not in shape either and it’s legit fucking w me. I’ve had issues w my weight my ENTIRE life. He’s been depressed and I’ve helped him the entire time. I’ve been nothing but nice to him and helping him. So I feel like it was a slap in the face. I’m digesting this and dont know how to cope tbh.

[@trexxy9628]

If she budges for him, he will push for more. This is how the slope gets slick.

[@David-fw4ly]

What if she budges him? Would she push for more? They both are asking each other to change something about themselves. I can’t stand the double standard, John almost always sides with the woman no matter who is being unreasonable.

[@cammy60467]

Great way to put it

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Yrs, God forbid dudes have any standard.

[@Richie10xclips]

He is being straight up honest women can't handle the truth this is why men cheat, atleast he is telling her before he cheats

[@cg741graf5]

Handled that great Delony! Rose…please be the best for you and find a more compassionate human. I have 29 and 26 year old daughters: I just want to hug this hurt inner child that is in pain.

[@Aubreytheeamazon]

I’m a size 4. I will point out something I like about my body, and my boyfriend will say “imagine how great it’ll be once you’re at your peak form” oh…okay. This video was right on time unfortunately.

[@janwells2199]

My best friend was once a healthy, steady 120#, and her husband made her lose to 95#. She screwed up her metabolism.

[@flch95]

Well that’s disgusting…

[@MrRolloBaggins]

She did it to herself. He was wrong, but she also was wrong.

[@claudiobeachball]

@@MrRolloBagginshow was she wrong? Unless she's 4'0, 120 isn't fat.

[@ryandeffley7652]

This is a tale as old as time. A guy starts to date a heavy set woman with a great personality and his secret fantasy is getting her to lose weight. So he gets a great personality and a physically attractive woman that's humble who has no ego. In theory, it's a great fantasy. But in reality, it rarely if ever works. You can't force somebody to lose weight. They have to come to that decision themselves and she has made it clear that she'd rather be overweight. My question to her would be "Why don't you want to lose weight for your own health?"