Caged In [Extended Version] - Award winning Domestic Violence short film (2016)

[@malindisultuska9618]

If you have not been in a domestic abuse situation, getting out is not as easy as you think. Please take a few minutes to read: The perpetrator DOES come after you, like they say they will, if you ever leave. I knew that in the end one of us was going to die. I did everything I could to prevent it from being me, and at that time, victims were going to prison for killing perpetrators, while declaring self-defense. My former abusive spouse (perpetrator) did in fact gun me down and threaten that next time he would kill me if I tried to leave again. He slept with a loaded gun under his pillow. I was keeping a journal just like Nicole Brown Simpson did, even though her abuser/perpetrator went free. In my situation, WHEN HE SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD, I was finally free. I remember collapsing and saying - It's over, it's over, and I'm alive. People that blame the person who is the victim, need to STOP IT. It was HIS behavior that kept me terrorized and in SO MUCH FEAR. And, he KEPT ME ISOLATED. I can't count the number of victims who told me that I was so lucky that he was dead, because they lived in fear, whether under the same roof with the abuser/perpetrator, or having gotten away and not knowing where he was . . . around every corner they turned, PANIC. Even after he was dead, I would dream that I was sitting in my car and would see him in the rearview mirror approaching the car with his gun. Sometimes, I even saw this when I was awake, because I was so accustomed to living in fear. Please, place the blame on the perpetrator, NOT the VICTIM. I am not looking for sympathy, I only want people to recognize on which person THE BLAME MUST BE PLACED - The perpetrator, NOT the victim. Please.

[@crazyfaithasia4614]

God bless you ❤

[@gabrielahernandez1300]

People always blame the victim saying “why she just didn’t leave” but never question THE ABUSER for his actions. Why does he HIT HER? Why does he ABUSE HER? He is the problem not the victim. When someone kills someone else they always question the murderer not the victim, have the same energy for domestic violence victims.

[@rebekahsquires2073]

Yes! I’m so glad you are safe 🥰

[@rebekahsquires2073]

Gabriela Hernandez yes! 🥰

[@grxnge_moon8302]

Ik im 16 the abuse came from the guy my mom married after my dad took his own life, we were all his targets. He beat all of us profusely and ppl think its hilarious when we flinch at small movements it started when i was 8. Everything was grey and i felt depressed. I didnt have a childhood i had to grow up young. He kept us from eating so we were starving all the time. He did so much shit. Thered a lot and id have to write a book about it if i wanted to tell everything..

[@saraht7257]

I was in a abusive marriage for 20 years, he finally went to jail served 6 months of a 22 month sentence a absolute joke, But I'm safe now and getting better . Be safe all

[@Sweetnana2709]

Thank God! Eventhough I don't know you,I'm really happy ur safe now. I'm going to tell you when I tell anyone going through this.... ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU. NEED TO DO FOR YOU IN ANY SITUATION. IF A PERSON MOT READY TO LEAVE THEY WON'T. WHEN THEY FIND STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO DO WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS IMPOSSIBLE, THEY WILL DO IT, IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO LEAVE SOONER THAN LATER. STAY STRONG YOUR LOVED

[@saraht7257]

@boimackhead I should of , but he's all my kids dad I guess and I was very weak at the time .

[@amandashare1281]

sarah t I could not even pretend to say I know how you feel, but could I ask you one question (do not feel obliged to answer) why did you stay with him? I have never understood that, did he make you feel so useless that you thought you would never make it on your own. As someone else has said I do not know you but I am so glad you are safe and hopefully rebuilding your life, and oh yes 6 months is an insult to you. God Bless.

[@saraht7257]

@@amandashare1281 yes basically I think my reason was he'd completely isolated me from family friends, also I had been let down by the police many a time so I'd lost my trust in them. Then thirdly you are right is lost all my confidence was a shadow of the person I once was. It's very sad, nearly 3 years on now,and things are brighter, I still suffer with anxiety but am getting better. Hope I answered thankyou.

[@amandashare1281]

@@saraht7257 Thank you so much for your reply I am so glad that you are slowly able to move on with your life, I am sure that with time you will be able to find your "old self" and life will be worth living again. God Bless!

[@manichairdo6346]

40 years ago, after the honeymoon, her husband said he was going out with his mates. She decided to go out with her friends. You do and you'll be f-ing sorry, he threatened. He went out. She called her parents. He came home to an empty house. She never went back. Awesome.

[@seeyouagain911]

@Vasanthi Very true,

[@manichairdo6346]

@Vasanthi That is so true. I met a very distraught, young lady in a railway station waiting room. She had fled her abusive husband. Left him in Germany. The vile man would even pee on her. She was deeply anxious about going home to her parents. I hope they supported her. I just told her that she was brave and very courageous and had done the right thing. I remember her clearly even now.

[@sueandpatrick]

The key is to get out as soon as you see dangerous behavior - they always show you who they are- LISTEN and TAKE ACTION!

[@joellakoslowski5397]

@@manichairdo6346 Thank you for providing her kindness, encouragement and hope.

[@sarahfara1539]

@manic hairdo It's so scary to think that many abusers only start showing their true colors after getting married and/or having kids...

[@Blonde111]

They make sure you are isolated from your family...if you have friends, they resent it. Strangers think they are sooooo nice.

[@guinevereinthefield176]

So true.

[@shannonsattler4438]

Yep. They rob you of every single thing they possibly can, then after you have nothing left- no car, no $, no sanity, no sense of self, everyone you loved in the wide world is gone- then they abuse you in every way possible. Get out they scream at you in the middle of the night, as you lie crying on the floor

[@kendrag.]

True Story

[@feliciaparivechio3250]

Yep

[@davidslocum9536]

Sounds like a malignant narcissist to me.

[@clo6179]

I'm a retired Chicago Police Officer of 25 years. Domestic disturbances are dangerous for the victim as well as the officers called to the scene. There is a lot of displaced anger! The victim needs help, and the offender doesn't want us there. I dealt with too many domestic batteries where people actually got killed or severely hurt. Please, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Get out of your situation and seek help. It is not easy, but it is not impossible. Save your life and the life of your children. You are worth it! The world is a better place with you in it!

[@theoryofpersonality1420]

It would be great if you could teach new cops what reactive abuse is and how to spot it.

[@jenniferc.2514]

I share these same sentiments ALL the time! 💙&💜 have much much more in common than many may think. The constant hyper-vigilance, dangerous situations flaring at any moment. Eggshells. Fears, defensive, everyone's suspect, rejection, biases, disrespect. Sleep disorders. Physiological woes, complications articulating sometimes, communications outside of those set apart from you, you hear someone dies every day, always being questioned, always having to defend something or someone, Survival Mode.. PTSD People having an unconscious thought or feeling towards you & even as much as clicking up with others to ban against you. Lies & rumors. Societal Triangulation. The societal undertone opinion that women who claim DV without marks or sexual abuse of any kind (child or personal) are just vindictive, liars who are mentally ill, whores & probably on drugs.. Forget about how many 💙 with true power & control psychopathy issues do go into LE because of the high demand (that unresolved DV perpetuates in our Nation as a whole); it makes good policing quite a challenge I imagine...So on & so forth... 🙏🏾💜💙🙏🏾Maybe you'd consider volunteering for awareness..something along the lines of Mark Wynn or just locally where you are both with 💙&💜.. We sure do need it... I have yet to come to know of any "true advocacy". We have a plethora of what I've coined as "Informational Kiosks" who are chomping at the bit for funding & advertising on "front" street because they cannot tangibly provide much of anything.. It's tragic really.. Abuse ALWAYS Worsens when targeted victims leave... Always....

[@angeliamoore6973]

An officer came to my house when my husband was gone (police figured out his schedule). He was an officer in charge of domestic violent cases. He explained that I needed to move far away. He knew that someone was going to die. I did move away but he later kidnapped my kids. In time things did work out. 6 years after they were missing I found them. I made a lot of mistakes but there were no services to help. Remakably we became friends. The kids got out. He is now gone. Getting away isn't easy. Even my divorce attorney moved out of state. His family will never know the total truth about the situation. I have left things in the past. I have been able to forgive and move forward. It is possible to have a better tomorrow. You can move past this moment. Make plans. Contact services. Child protective services was not helpful. Sadly , people still blame the victim. Remember that it's not just women who are abused.

[@sharynmain2432]

That is good of you to say. I am curious to know how one comes across viewing this topic.. as I am sure the job prompted enough interactions when viewing domestic call outs. Being in the land of what people think is ‘idealistic and green’ we have high percentages of statistics across the board for unhealthy outcomes. We really are leading the way in so many tragedies, child abuse and the killing of them by parents, suicide especially in our younger people, violence, incarcerations, the list goes on. Domestic abuse and violence in general is staggering and the tipping point has happened and will never improve … sadly. Our government is as corrupt as any. This is a systemic issue world wide… no country has the good reputation it had while I grew up 50 years ago. We can only get up every day , dust ourselves off and try to not add to the harm and damage already done. If you can’t genuinely help someone… at least do not harm them. (A quote from the enlighten Dali Lama. I send this from New Zealand).

[@elenamansh]

❤

[@tonirad9577]

I always thought how can women stay and put up with that ? Until I became one of them . It can happen to anyone !

[@kage3069]

I'm so sorry are you safe now? Don't let anyone bring you down, you're strong and beautiful

[@tonirad9577]

Oh yes I am good . I left that relationship years ago when my son was 2 . Things ( life ) doesn't turn out like you plan most of the time . That same abusive ( very )man ended up having his life saved by our son who donated half his liver to that same man who had punched his mother when she was pregnant with him . The world is a crazy place . You just have to hope learn and grow if you get the chance. Stay strong !

[@Shawneelitigator]

Toni Rad me too but the question shouldn't be why did we stay or put up with it. The question should be why is someone we love abusing us?

[@rebekahsquires2073]

Same here there is so much that people don’t know or understand about what happens it’s not like on the movies that’s for sure

[@tonirad9577]

@@rebekahsquires2073 You are so right . Have a good evening. 🌹

[@maryannjesuino9882]

I'm a widow now, but will always be thankful I had a wonderful husband. God bless all who are suffering.

[@YaneishaEarl]

Sorry❤

[@margmak6234]

I left and my infant child was my main motivation. Over 20 years later, my daughter didnt have to see the abuse and I'm a happy, free woman.

[@storyaboutmosquitoes9441]

Thank you so much for not subjecting your child to it. It’s hell.

[@alisonl6723]

god bless you it must have been hard to leave but you put your child first and were unselfish

[@alisonl6723]

You did well and were very unselfish You put your child’s safety first before your relationship

[@CoffeeNCardio]

In reality, no one comes to save her and her daughter. She has to. Stay strong ladies, and never stop trying to get out.

[@ablindview]

Exactly

[@marinaneary7502]

Actually, no matter how many people offer help, the victim will decline it and find more excuses to stay.

[@erikadavis4696]

I was in an abusive marriage for 8yrs. When I finally left, I promised I would NEVER be beaten like that again. People think it's easy to walk away. Fear is binding until you're not afraid anymore.

[@graceyoung516]

or you leave, when you realize that staying would kill you

[@erikadavis4696]

@@graceyoung516 What was your purpose for this comment? That's LITERALLY what I said. Smh.

[@graceyoung516]

@@erikadavis4696 My comment was not about you - it was about the film. But when a perpetrator acts like that - try to consider it this way - there is him, AND here is alcohol AND there is anger. And Alcohol and Anger are DEMONS which are sunk in the person (Perpetrator) to use him like a loaded weapon. My mother was almost killed by this "THREESOME" - 1 Human (my father) and 2 Demons (alcohol and anger) within my father. Please do not feel accused by my comment in any way. And what is Smh.?

[@vkrgfan]

@@graceyoung516 Alcohol just reveals what that person really is.

[@chrisfry436]

@@graceyoung516 Shaking My Head....smh.

[@cyrilpeter1958]

I remember when I was very young, There was a family with a very nasty husband. Every night he would go into town, Ger very drunk and come home and cause blue murder. Kids would be awake half the night, which affected them badly. The wife must have told a friend what was going on. Neighbours got together to try and help, My parents were among them. Somehow the wife managed to get a house in a town many many miles away. So when he was gone into town, Loads of neighbours went to the woman's house, They loaded everything that she wanted to bring with her into my fathers tractor and trailer. The husband came home to an empty house, Never found out where his wife and kids went to. I hope they had a peaceful and safe life ever since.

[@annasulkowska8112]

Wow!That is fantastic community spirit!!Good that there a people who dont believe that what is going on behind closed doors is none of their business.

[@kulaniwarner2424]

@@annasulkowska8112 Right?! This mentality is insane. If someone is getting hurt, DO something about it.

[@annasulkowska8112]

@@kulaniwarner2424 absolutely agree!

[@istillhope3600]

Omg what a nasty world....im SO happy for this family....poor women.....sometimes i hate mens world.....every time we are abused in some ways..may is not physical or verbal or psychological violence but is in fact....😥😥😥😥why you talk too much on the phone..you are late from work....we are controlled by man....but they're free to hang out how they want with their fucking friends....

[@mmp495]

Awesome story💕💕💕

[@maryacosta7097]

Thank You for making this film. I was in an abusive marriage for 10 1/2 yrs. After he threatened to kill me,I made a plan, took my 3 daughters and left town. That was over 35 yrs ago. No one should have to go thru such abuse, emotional, physical or verbal. 💚

[@SmallVoiceFilms]

Well done for having the courage to leave! You and your daughters definitely deserved better.

[@adityaabhalekar]

Please give me your WhatsApp number i have to contact you

[@adorapueblos1728]

Some violence are emotional, mental and psychological. No scars on skin, but the wounds go far beyond deep. Such violence could destroy the soul.

[@aninditadeb5028]

Very true

[@Rita-yw2tn]

You’re exactly right sometimes I would have rather him to punch me right in the mouth because some of the things that he said hurt me worse than the beatings !

[@MrWrightcaroline]

Such as narcissistic abuse

[@christinaortiz5717]

Its destroying me as I watch this. Stuck, no way out. All emotional tho no physically scars all at my soul. Which nearly is there anymore

[@lavenderflowers1075]

It usually starts with the psychological and ends up with the physical.

[@evey350]

Brought back some frightening memories. Never again will I let a man define me. Thank you for bringing awareness to this awful reality.

[@Steven-lz7on]

Eve Palme I used to be deprived of food and water by my last girlfriend. Got so hungry and thirsty still shook up. Once it went on for 4 days straight

[@evey350]

@@Steven-lz7on I hope, like me u have learnt from yr experience. Don't let it happen again..choose wisely next time.

[@Steven-lz7on]

Eve Palme I have yes, just saw your reply. It’s annoying thinking what she did and how she controlled everything. She used to control even what I wear. If I argued no food for at least the rest of the day

[@dinamule3073]

He has 2 f**** hands. He can get his own beers. Try to put ur hands on me without my consent for s**.. immediate police report and ur clothes will be on the front lawn. 😥😡🤬

[@sherrytrenner9452]

Eve Palme .. Yes this brings back horrible memories for me also. I'm safe now too. I'm happy for you .I never ever put myself in that situation again. Or let any man think they can try and control me again. EVER !!!!

[@honeydate]

And the poor women and children trapped with these monsters during lockdown🦠

[@dijaworldworld3895]

I think about that all the time

[@joelarama]

Cheron Awful isn’t it. Domestic violence has hugely escalated because of the lockdown. 😔

[@mamalionness]

Tell me about it. Not just men but abusive relatives, colleagues, and those you breastfed think they can rubbish you because they can reach their back with a sponge 🧽 and you're nothing. Talk to you any old way? Hey! Wake up, people. It's not on. No 👪 should also take abusive nature from their younger nor older offsprings. Be safe and sure commit things into God's hands 👏 and at His feet 👣. Nice short film 🎬. He would have killed her if that concerned friend was not there in the nick of time.

[@shannjess5223]

I know it is frightening

[@Theblackcaravanlady]

Cheron it scares and hurts me to think this and worse is happening to women and children across the world, especially during lockdown.

[@itsthatdangGina]

Until you've been a victim of this you will never understand how hard it is to "just leave" especially when there are children in the marriage.

[@janineblue3139]

@Eva Lilith YES

[@katarinasvensson9801]

​@Eva Lilith I agree leave for the childrens sake you owe it to them.

[@ajl2232]

@Eva Lilith Exactly. I bet it's not even the childeren the reason they stay. Most of these women stay because they are afraid of getting killed, afraid of being judged for being divorced/single, afraid of not being able to get a man, afraid or not wanting to be the bread winner or because they love the man so much.

[@ajl2232]

I bet it's not even the childeren the reason they stay. Most of these women stay because they are afraid of getting killed, afraid of being judged for being divorced/single, afraid of not being able to get a man, afraid or not wanting to be the bread winner or because they love the man so much.

[@carolecochrane8173]

My sister was with her abusive husband for 18yrs. She eventually went to a hostel for domestic abused women out of town. They eventually found her a place to live, that was 5yrs ago she has never looked back, she even divorced the arse hole. 😀

[@gma2893]

It’s never the victims fault. No one deserves it. The abuser should be blamed fully and held accoubtable

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

We know it's not "crazy women, " because ALL of them filed charges?

[@chetyoubetya8565]

Well it is when the see the signs very early because there always are and every person can tell you who has been in the situation as well can confirm there are and you choose to ignore them and then have children with them.

[@vrl9037]

Woah, what a morally normative insight! Why don't you tell that to the graveyards full of dv victims, I'm sure they'd really appreciate it

[@tinahochstetler2189]

@@chetyoubetya8565 My dad never raised so much as a finger to my Mom until she was pregnant with their first child. Mom was so excited to tell him they were having a baby. And he beat the holy living he!! out of her trying to kill the baby in her womb. One of Mom's best friends was going through the same thing at the same time. Mr Wonderful, until the day comes that he's not. This is actually not an unusual story. There are a lot of horrifically violent, controlling abusers that are just wonderful until the first baby is on the way, or is born. I was very fortunate. My Mr. wonderful decided to beat the he!! out of me before we were even married. So I did not marry him. Did have a little trouble with him because I broke the engagement. But I had good support, which my Mom did not. By the way, not that it's any of your business, my Mom is the greatest hero that ever lived. And she did get us and herself away from dad eventually. And we all survived to tell the story. Even Mom. Not all are so lucky. Leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. That is the time when many women are finally killed after having been brutalized for many years. and in danger for many years.

[@wanderingkernel5002]

I just want to know how my life has somehow led to me binge-watching domestic violence and human trafficking short films.

[@M_D93]

Same here. It started with DaddyOFive and Fantastic Adventures (KZbin channels consisting of child abuse) and now this. I don’t condone either action.

[@magicmoonart]

I searched for them but for something else with the titles in, now I've been watching loads of them too

[@courtniesminizoo3862]

Me to

[@moniqtl]

This what happens when you're a lowlife

[@megwalker8790]

I think it’s good to be educated on different kinds people’s situations. Knowing more about this can help us avoid it, and also understand better those who have experienced it.

[@BrittneyM7777]

I left in December 2019 with my two small children and two suitcases and left my abuser. I never looked back.

[@amandashare1281]

Oh my goodness you are so brave! I hope everything turned out well for you and that you and your children are happy and well!

[@spiderz4811]

You are strong well done you st a good example 💪👍

[@sharonteh4816]

Well done ! U did the right thing

[@rubymorris44]

If you left, then you dont understand and your comment is not necessary.

[@amandashare1281]

@@rubymorris44 What's that supposed to mean?

[@jenngraham2012]

When I was 18 I dated a guy who smacked me one time. I'm now 40 years old and I still have a scar in my knuckle from his tooth where I punched him for hitting me. Last time I saw that a hole he was doubled over in pain from me punching him for hitting me. I vowed that day that no man would ever do that to me again.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Jenn Graham, you deserve better

[@desiderata333]

You are one bad ass woman! Good for you! I am glad you punched that coward right in the mouth sister! Sending love your way.

[@buffhotchkiss7400]

Thats a battle scar Hey a A cast iron frying pan. Number 8 girl Lolololololol Make my day

[@Ichigo-dh9rd]

👏👏👏👏

[@plum_loco]

That's the way it should be. Never allow anyone to lay a hand on you without giving it back in some way. They have to sleep too.

[@Loveroffood41]

I was abused mentally and emotionally by my ex and it felt so good to get away from him. The biggest thing that people need to know is the abuse doesn't start when the relationship starts.

[@judiththeis4476]

Very true

[@AfallinAngel]

Im dealing with mental and emotional abuse trying to get out sometimes this is worse

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

I am a Domestic Violence physical assault SURVIVOR. A survivor from a COVERT MALIGNANT NARCOPATH EX-husband. Watching this triggered my PTSD, but I'm better than I was a year ago. If you're in situation like this, PLEASE do WHATEVER you NEED to do to get out. If you're already out, hang in there, it gets better. It just takes time to heal. Live and love to YOUR FULLEST withOUT abuse

[@shannonk4653]

Custody courts are trying to send my 6 year old back to a covert malignant I've been in a 5 year custody battle, I got us out but never dreamed she'd be alone with him because he had no interest in her. The only bill he's current on is a life insurance policy on her. They will not listen.

[@marciaaustin8231]

Wow I was in that situation now I wonder how I got out but I did things weren't perfect but I did the best I could

[@sandraalegria3439]

For my friend it was to late ,she made the mistake of telling him she was leaving.

[@elizabethbrewer5791]

I was in a abusive relationship for 13 years until I finally walked way. I gave up everything just to have my piece of mind and safety back.

[@franklinstephen3268]

Hi how are you doing?

[@letitiahughes5683]

I just did the same thing. Nothing like your peace of mind

[@betsyvanek9275]

how about freedom? for me it was the freedom! I can laugh w/o being questioned, talk to who I want to...or not. I've been free almost 1 year...learning how to laugh and enjoy. I have no money, no vertical and recovering from multiple surgeries...but I am FREE❤

[@paigesteele6216]

This doesn't even scratch the surface of what really happens. trust me I would know.

[@Steven-lz7on]

Me too, can happening any relationship. My girlfriend used to starve me all the time, would be hungry for days

[@stephaniejurina1658]

I feel like writing a book about but know one would believe me

[@Tawadeb]

@@stephaniejurina1658 Yes i would believe you hunny

[@hazel9903]

I doubt they can show the full brutality of S abuse within a relationship on YT.

[@Kittyququmber]

Part if domestic abuse is that the victim is slowly “trained” to stay.

[@JulieRushworth-k4w]

For sure

[@lisadeee1343]

The symbolism of that final scene is so strong. I ‘flew’ away on 12th December 2015 ❤️ Love to all that have experienced DV, may you find peace again!

[@MillennialMountainMama]

I am currently in an abusive marriage with a malignant narcissist with sociopathic traits. We have 3 children and one on the way. My husband horribly abused me in every way for 20 years. Mentally, emotionally, sexually and physically. Being abused while pregnant with a high risk pregnancy with complications and a heart condition is awful. When I wouldn’t answer the door yesterday because I was tired of him threatening and stalking me, he climbed through my bedroom window and continued to threaten, mentally and physically abuse me. He is currently on the run from probation from abusing us. The state took my 3 children because his abuse was so severe. Thank God they were placed with my mother. I know other women who are not so lucky and their children go to foster care. The judge denied me a permanent restraining order 4 years ago because he blamed me for the abuse. So the abuse escalated of course. The police let him go after he broke into my apartment and damaged my property. The system, police and CPS has horribly failed us, by blaming me for his abuse. Stop victim blaming!

[@ruthgrey7190]

That is what they do. My husband attacked me when I went to discuss the kids. His friend found him strangling me and I escaped. The police were called. They did nothing but send cps. It was my fault he tried to kill me around my kids. Even though I was trying to leave. So then you are too afraid to call for help

[@teresamuriniti5026]

I'm so so sorry for you horrible situation,,, im not being judgemental so please forgive me if it come across that way , BUT why have more children with this man?..I'm confused!,

[@thomasmorgan6697]

I totally agree with you I was in an abusive relationship finally had to get out but it took time and you have to plan the the shelter are so full there is numbers available and there is people that can help you it's very hard and very difficult but I would never ever blame the person that is subject to the abuse it is abusers fault and his only you have to find a shelter and get out safely and quick as possible I had no family and I got to a shelter but it took time and once you get to a shelter and you get your self-worth back and you understand that you did nothing wrong that's when some of the healing can begin but it takes a lot of time homeless at one time with my abuser you got more and more intense I just had to figure it was time but you have to make sure that it's safe especially considering you and your condition but there is people out there their shelters available that would take you in but you have to make sure that you're safe I have my son with me he is grown just please make sure when you do get out if and when that you're safe I hope and pray that you can get out

[@plum_loco]

Why are you still married to him? Can you not get a divorce?

[@Quran4mercy]

The police are the enablers. The abusers count on their help.

[@rozpillay6522]

NEVER EVER EVER let and abuser know you are leaving. Do it allin secret and then just disappear - even if you have kids, you can escape first then go to the police, once you are safe, and explain your actions. THen you must know that you are in GREATEST danger as soon as you have left the abuser. PLEASE stay safe!

[@ruthieworldtravels]

That's because revenge is a dish best served up cold. And it is sweet!

[@patriciakehaya6711]

The. cops do nothing been there i got into a big mess will never call them again

[@marywood815]

Your so right because alot of women don't think and they think that there duty bound to tell the abuser where there going and there not. Tell them nothing and be smarter then them. An abuser will do is put hurdles in your path or in your way . Think of your self and most of all your children because they depends on you. Good luck and stay safe. Xx

[@melaninqueen6012]

I just posted abt that... i need to go somewhere far away .. i can make disappearing happen.. just getting there is the problem. I dont have any friends far enough away.. let alone any friends at all. He's pushed all family and friends out my life

[@pameladeleone135]

Yes, You always have to get out while they are gone, then they find you come and get you,, and you get beat for that. They let you know that they will kill you. You can't leave.

[@ambyburum2666]

Some thoughts after reading some replies...physical violence is only one type of abuse...bruises heal...damage to the psyche changes a person...the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when one walks out the door...that’s when the risk of death skyrockets. This is a complex issue and ‘just leaving’ is not always so simple...many victims die in the process

[@Fran-mh2ef]

Yeah that's why you know even though I'm in an abusive relationship I haven't left because I feel like he's going to go and tell his friends that I made him homeless and his friends who care about him a lot are going to come after me and find me you know and shoot me with you know an 80 millimeter shotgun... So yeah... Leaving is harder

[@kulaniwarner2424]

@@Fran-mh2ef I'm so sorry! Hopefully one day you will find an out. Lots of love.

[@Fran-mh2ef]

@@kulaniwarner2424 well thanks so much for your condolences! And secondly I have been out for 6 months and now in a VERY loving relationship!!!!💝❤️🔐

[@kulaniwarner2424]

@@Fran-mh2ef How wonderful! Good luck!

[@ChristineCeralde]

Yes. That’s why I would feel so lonely when people looked at me disgusted like why do I stay with an abuser, like I was stupid. They looked at me like as if it was easy to leave

[@Abe-rz1nm]

My father used to hit me, but as soon as i was old enough I hit him back. That was the last time he ever touched me. These people are bullies and you need to stand up to them.

[@ritazanin1429]

My mother was like that to me. And, later on, my emotionally cold and liar husband was as abusive as well. He still stalks me through other men. I tried to stop all of that, but I was forced to go back to a toxic environment: my childhood. And, my ex is taking advantage of that situation too. When will the abuse ever end if there are plenty of toxic people in the world? To start with many corrupted police officers and politicians and?

[@pollytheparrot8929]

So true..

[@whoasked6147]

True. When you draw your boundaries, that's when they stopped. My mom stopped when I made her feel that I can ignore her all my life and leave when I'm on my right age.

[@llIlIlllII]

Women can't fight back. Obviously.

[@zoedark7101]

The guy that helped her is gorgeous.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Zoe Dark,hope you are not with a narcissist 😈 cause you are too cute

[@GradKat]

Zoe, he sure is! But sadly real life doesn’t provide a knight in shining armour to help a woman in this situation. More likely, she would have met an equally violent man, who would initially provide a safe refuge from her husband, but who would then replace the husband as a domestic bully.

[@zoedark7101]

@@GradKat very true

[@zoedark7101]

@@lioydwilliams1850 I'm fiesty as hell and would never put up with this.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

@@zoedark7101 you deserve better my dear.I am Lioyd from the States.You?

[@beckyfrazee1508]

It's been 30 years since I escaped my abuser and I still have occasional nightmare about him mistreating me.

[@dragonclaws9367]

This makes me remember how afraid i was when we still lived with my dad. We've been away so long I forgot. It was absolute terror for our lives. I pray for the women and children locked up with these monsters.

[@lizardme88]

My mom was beaten for 50 years. The church told her she would go to hell if she left her husband. Everybody knew but were too cowardly to help. Please call the police if you hear or see anybody being abused.😢

[@Mandy-w8f]

So sad how women years ago put up with it but these days there is help please have the courage to to tell some one and strength to stay away 🙏🏻 sending love ❤️ to your mom who suffered for 50 years god bless her 😢

[@mrm1984]

Did you try to help her? 50 years is a long time.

[@JenLamoureux]

All these movies end with the abused partner "escaping" and just transition to some sort of "happily ever after" scene, but one of the most dangerous times for someone in an abusive relationship is right after they leave.

[@sarcasticallyrearranged]

These videos need to show some of the real life situations where not only is she physically abused to go with the other abuse, but, show the reality of what happens to so many women when they finally try to leave! Having a hero suddenly appear while someone is actively trying to murder you is unrealistic and dare I say dangerous for being so unrealistic.

[@jogargus1277]

When they hit you once...there is always a 2nd and 3rd time in your future.

[@charlene274]

Following death....

[@charlenelawshea3404]

Jo GARGUS, 💁‍♀️I can believe that , back in October 19th my husband was in a bad mood. And all because I asked him if he was ok he rushed at me and push me. And that was the first time he had ever put his hands on me 🤷‍♀️and now because my dad told him not to ever put his hands on me again. He wants to divorce me and I told him to go for it cause im not paying for it. Are marriage was already over there is nothing lift in it and I thank God that we don't have kids together. 🙏 like why would I stay married to a man who wishes that me and my dad who is a pastor would die he wish us to die but anyway we live together but don't see or talk to each other at all. But I hear you on that ☺🌸

[@charlene274]

@@charlenelawshea3404 please make sure you stay far away from him because men like that are psychotic and crazy and they will snap at any moment and honestly you need to know someone for a good year before living with them and or sleeping with them men can be very deceiving and lie very easily and they will put on the nice guy hat for now and perfect guy for now and then once they realize that you need them that's when they turn violent oh, I am so happy you got out of that situation keep yourself safe

[@charlenelawshea3404]

Charlene Cork , I dated him for a year in a half and didn't see any of those evil side of him. Then we got married in 2007 and then he changed 2yrs later I do stay away from him we don't talk or see each other and live in the same house. Im trying to save so that I can live him he keeps saying that he's going to divorce me . But haven't done it yet im ready thank you so very much 😔🙏❤

[@charlene274]

@@charlenelawshea3404 good, keep it up and focus on your self hun! Your strong! :) I'm glad you got away and ur ok. I was kidnapped,rapped,beaten,threatened, branded, emotionally damaged for the rest of my life, became homless and almost lost my child to death. I went thru literally HELL last year. However I got thru it all, I'm on my own and doing much better. I still have issues everyday....however God pulled me up and set me free. I'm still working on my self to heal and forgive. My point is that us woman can fight back, get away, and focus on our selves! Create your own bubble with You,God,family,animals,healing and prayer! Nothing can enter ur circle. I'll keep u in my prayers.

[@raishamikhaela6220]

This..this mini heart attacks when he is coming home from whenever he was..i am at peace when he is gone away

[@syedazehramahmood4958]

I hope you’re okay

[@soozt828]

That little girl witnessing that will carry that for the rest of her life.....if you won't leave for yourself, leave for her...show her that no man has the right to do that.

[@pugninja7037]

Yeah that's for sure..

[@rebekahsquires2073]

It’s not always possible some abusers monitor your phone or don’t let you use one hide your car keys or don’t let you drive won’t let you work or sabotage your work environment so you are fired don’t let you have friends don’t let you talk to family they isolate you and work in secret also many abusers kill their victims when they try to leave not to mention if you have kids you can’t protect them from the abuser only the spouse is protected unless they have a record of beating the children

[@soozt828]

@@rebekahsquires2073 I know....I am a child of an abuser myself. My poor mother did everything she could..She survived thank God...but the scars remain, both with her and my brother and I.

[@rebekahsquires2073]

Sooz T yes I agree the damage stays sadly. I’m sorry to hear that your brother and you experienced that. I have complex PTSD from years of abuse

[@drearypoet5603]

Yes, please leave.. think of your children . Even if you think it's not much, they aren't present or affected Directly.. Believe me.. They are.. I'm now dealing with the cyclic affects of this on my sons.. My adult son I live with has now taken over the role his dad once had, without realizing it. I've only recently realized myself.. I know it had affected his perceptions, and is protective of me, having been in the middle of terror,violence, and psychological warfare his entire life.. But as he's grown older... He now has developed a more sadistic inner rage, narcissitic persona, and scary attributes where as now I'm officially afraid of my own son.. 😓.. I'm saddened deeply at the development, not knowing what to do or how to deal with the situation with him. I know logically.. I have to plan and leave(it's bad at times).. Emotionally I am so consumed with the guilt of burdening that upon him as a child.. trying to stay for the kids. So they have their father.. Torn between healthy, right, safe, heart. . And the cycle continues. My other son up and moved with no word where to and no fore warning because of how he also has suffered being treated by his brother.. And then they also are Still the receivers and victims of the Narcissistic abuse and warfare from their father still So it's projected onto him. He doesn't understand or grasp WTH is dad like that.. doesn't understand his own inner conflict and anger or why.. But then ends up projecting it forth on us and unleashing that anger believing truly to himself, that I or We are the cause of his misery.. as a Narcissist thinks and believes. I know how to help myself but still unable.. but how do I help my son??. I cannot reach him in the middle of the whole ugly cycle of it.. 😔.. Prayers greatly appreciated.

[@yukiefromoz2573]

Anyone who steps in in this kind of situation is a hero.

[@eshas6060]

I loved how the little girl went up to her room and prayed. God sent her help. This was a very powerful short film!

[@minkahalstead8748]

Lol, that wasn't prayer that did that. It's just called luck

[@VelvetyMoon]

@@minkahalstead8748 I’m sorry you don’t know the power of The Most High ♥️

[@almaconnor9171]

@@minkahalstead8748 closed small minded person

[@jjberg83]

@@VelvetyMoon Christianese translation: "f*ck you"

[@jjberg83]

@@minkahalstead8748 If only she would have asked god nicely earlier, none of this would have happened at all. But no. She didn't say the magic words.

[@rayyana.8538]

"we'll talk about this later" = prepare for a good old fashioned beating. It sends shivers down my spine.

[@valentinakythas7504]

I left before it got really bad THANK GOD!!!!!!! HORRIFIC

[@rayyana.8538]

@@valentinakythas7504 stay safe wherever you are. You are a survivor.

[@aliinwonderland656]

I hope you’ve gotten out of that situation....

[@donnaleeclubb119]

She should have had a plan to high tail it out of there.

[@starlite04]

That's usually what it means.

[@butterbear4964]

When she prayed God sent help that really touched me

[@sunnyskye1106]

Me too. ❤️

[@charlierobles316]

God doesn’t exist

[@butterbear4964]

@@charlierobles316 to you but to me he does so let’s not get disrespectful

[@kimjohnson8471]

God is great but you've gotta make the decision to get the hell up outta there!

[@butterbear4964]

@@kimjohnson8471 Lmaooooo rii 🥴

[@KimberlyFaith]

He doesn't love you. He isn't capable of love. There is another way. You must love yourself. Before it's too late ♥️

[@goldunicorn2295]

This is the story of my life except that I am still in it. They should show him acting really nice between outbursts and making other people think he’s kind and innocent.

[@ChristineCeralde]

It’s truly sad. I wanted to leave my ex so bad from all the abuse. But it became so hard because I had become so brainwashed and psychologically abused that I thought I deserved it. I felt so much shame and felt even more shame when people would shame me for staying. It’s not easy to leave when you’ve been psychologically abused to believe your worthless and not worth living

[@brychristian3395]

Thank you for bringing awareness to this. After the first time he hit me, I brushed it off, and ended up trapped for years, being beaten with my daughter in my arms. This can happen to anyone, and people who have not been there have got to STOP with the “you should’ve just left” “you stayed so you must of liked it”

[@zennerzoniy0711]

I’m a guy and I don’t want to be like that man who abusive his wife

[@lornakurien7962]

It's not easy to just up and leave! There are young children, sharing a mortgage, etc.

[@lauratracey1405]

@@lornakurien7962 And when you are dead what happens to the children and the mortgage?.Make it make sense please.

[@lyricberlin]

@@lauratracey1405 OK let's make sense. When you leave what happens? You are in a shelter for 30 days. You have to get a job. Try getting a job with black eyes. Especially with these nuts showing up to someone's job and shooting everyone. Yeah you aren't going to get that job and if they find out some how about your situation, you will be let go. If he shows up and starts crap, you will be let go. He knows this. Restraining orders are ZERO protection and this has been proven over and over. He knows this. He is seeing the kids and telling them how much he loves mommy and wants them back. It is tough on the kids and they are just kids. They start telling mom they want to go back. They hate it in the shelter. They had to change schools and they hate it. Kids still need a place to live and food to eat and you can't get a job so you file for food stamps. Now you are one of those "welfare mothers" and are told why did you have kids when you can't support them. Coordinated child care has a 4 year waiting list but you need someone to watch the kids while you work. So no daycare, no job. If you can even apply for housing, it can take 6 years. Where do you live and what food does your kids eat until then? Your 30 days are now up. You don't have a job or a place to live. You can't get an extension to stay. You have no family to take you in. He has the kids begging you to go back home. Pressure from friends and family that he is manipulating saying "Just give him one more chance. He says he is sorry". There is the truth. This is why so many go back, or they know already what it would be like if they left. Women are conditioned to make sacrifices. Even if it means sacrificing themselves. I know this because I actually volunteered in a woman's shelter and seen this over and over and over.

[@sarcasticallyrearranged]

Lorna, not having traumatized children who could end up with a disabled or dead mother is much more important than everything you wrote about.

[@loveofyahweh9660]

I used to pretend I was sleeping just to avoid the fights when he came home late. He would wake me up.

[@manyhats3846]

my heart would literally be racing in anticipation of the molestation feelings from this man as I went to bed. I would sometime stay up way late hoping he fell asleep. He wouldnt bother me if I was in bed with one of the children. Later in life it escalated, the last straw, he even tried abusing me while in bed with my child. That finished it ,yhings were getting dangerous.. I took myyoungest(rest at school)(i called a friend to be on their way to pick us up. We started fast to walking away down the road, scared he would come home early from tractor work in the field. We walked out of sight. What a relief when my friend swa us and took us away. ect.... much more to say, but you get the drift.

[@emilyb7062]

I love the last scene. Letting the bird free symbolizes them no longer being caged in.

[@jogargus1277]

me too!

[@FlobberwellGweneveve]

Yeah nice one genius. Maybe you should go solve some crimes, Sherlock.

[@LB041272]

Yep plenty of animals caged in

[@brandybrown6574]

It's not as often these days. But I still have night terrors of him. He's my boogeyman. It's always the same dream. I'm hiding in a building with many doors down a long hallway. And he's coming closer to finding me and he's in the worst rage this time. This time he's going to torture me to death for tryin to leave him again. I'll never be in an abusive/obsessive relationship again. NEVER!!

[@RedDotInABlueState91]

I hate when people ask questions like "Why didn't you leave?" as if it's so simple. This is why these videos, short films and people posting their real life experiences should be encouraged, because many people are ignorant to the extent of what abuse does and the mental aspect of it.

[@alisonl6723]

actually, it is that simple many women who have safe spaces will go back to an abuser cos they think he will change, cos he has flattered them, splashed cash on them etc anyone who says otherwise is making excuses. you can leave. and there is support.

[@RedDotInABlueState91]

@@alisonl6723 It's not that easy, depending on the situation of the people in the relationship and how violent the abuser could be. In the UK alone, on average 2 women are killed each week by their current or ex partner.

[@alisonl6723]

@@RedDotInABlueState91 get that totally.. but you may also get killed if you stay there Get out at the first sign of abuse Ignore his crying, his apologies Ignore how much you are in lust with him Put ur kids first and get out of

[@ritarodriguez7528]

This brought back so many memories I had blocked for a long time . I cried all through it. Felt like I was seeing myself in an identical situation. I too had my knight come to my rescue. ♥️

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Rita Rodriguez,you got a lovely smile

[@ritarodriguez7528]

@@lioydwilliams1850 why thank you 😊

[@lioydwilliams1850]

@@ritarodriguez7528 you are welcome my dear.I am Lioyd from the States.You?

[@renamassey8506]

Beautifully done. Wonderful symbolism at the end when the bird is set free. I hope women and men who are being hurt will see this film. Nobody deserves to live in fear and pain.

[@chrissymoss514]

I'd love to see a film highlighting men being abused by their partner. I know it's vital to bring attention to women being abused by these monsters, but there are men who are suffering too. Excellent mini film. If any person is being abused - get out and stay out!

[@chrissymoss514]

@Victoria you have no idea what you are talking about. "You are letting this happen", very obviously the words of a blinkered, sheltered and opinionated person, who has zero life experience regarding domestic violence (something I am glad about). Please do not apportion blame to DV on the victims. They have suffered enough mental torture without people, just like you, voicing your nonsense. So, go away with your "troll like" opinions/comments. I have nothing further to say to you.

[@chrissymoss514]

@Victoria please don't combine our messages. When I said "get out, stay", it was and always will be "without blame". Yours, however, WAS loaded with blame towards the victims. 1. Most DV victims feel they have nowhere to go 2. Most DV fear being caught AFTER they have left (rightly so, many who have left the abusive relationship have suffered at the hands of the abuser when found and some have either been killed or battered close to death). 3. A large % have endured mental abuse and believe the rhetoric (by the abuser) that they are unlovable/worthless/useless etc. 4. These woman/men are broken and damaged and terrified. Obviously, you are a strong woman, abusive people do not target such individuals. They purposely very sweet, easily manipulated people. This is not a fault of the victim. Neither is it their fault if they feel paralyzed and helpless in these extreme and violent relationships. Fortunately for both of us, we haven't suffered at the hands of such monsters. Unlike yourself though, I have a deep empathy for the victims and would never, ever say they are to blame. I would suggest you go to a women's refuge and request that you be an audience member. Women of very varied social groups desperately need these facilities and the support they offer. From the high/upper class to the working class, these establishments offer these victims "the way out" PS : I was not "shouting" in my earlier reply, nor am I "shouting" in this one.

[@seeyouagain911]

Men can actually walk out of a relationship without getting death threats.

[@helenalford2831]

@@seeyouagain911 not necessarily. But what men stand to lose is normally ever seeing their kids again and knowing they've had to leave them with a violent nutcase.

[@aprilnovember6777]

@Chrissy Moss Yes, men are victims, too!

[@loratommy8670]

My father was very physically abusive when I was growing up. I just remember feeling fear and dread when he came home. I would be so happy when his work took him away on business. I hated when he was home. No child should be that scared of their parent. I used to think I was so bad, I was the problem. It wasn’t until I was olde4 that I realized he was just taking his stress out on me, the punching bag. When I was in junior high school CPS investigated our family for child abuse. I was so scared to tell the truth as to what was really going on inside out home. We were never removed, however that investigation was the best thing that ever happened. It scared the crap out of my father, I think he thought he might get thrown in jail. Things really cooled do2n for a while in our home. It also made me realize that I had other options. When things would begin to escalate in our home, I would run from the house yelling, “I’m going to call CPS on you!” ( Child Protective Services).

[@buslady3705]

As a child, I never feared the monster under the bed, or in the closet. My monster was in the next room.

[@anonomous8649]

I could have written this myself, though I sadly never had any intervention. The abuse continued even into adulthood. The last time he put his hands on me I tried to take my own life right after, 3 years ago. I guess he has at least a tiny bit of humanity because he hasn't hit me or touched me since.

[@krissy012p]

This was powerful - it really showcases the terror that people feel in these situations. WHY are people giving this a thumbs down?!

[@minkahalstead8748]

Possibly because the acting, directing and editing is embarrassingly bad. But the film is a valid portrayal of reality for so many people

[@ianplunkett8013]

@@minkahalstead8748 Would like to see one of your films.

[@minkahalstead8748]

@@ianplunkett8013 I'm sorry the truth offends you

[@ianplunkett8013]

@@minkahalstead8748 Well your truth is different from mine.

[@betsyvanek9275]

probably because she had someone to save her...I did too and he was worse.

[@Peter-55]

I am encouraged by these domestic abuse short films as they bring awareness to a wide audience. However, they always show the victim as a woman. I am the victim of 10 years of emotional abuse and I finally had the strength to leave the relationship in 2021. I am finding it very hard to find the old me, but I am finally making progress with the help of a therapist, a couple of close friends, and family. Men are victims too, although harder to see sometimes. The affect is the same though 😥

[@AdrianaMtezGlez]

True. Stay safe. Find a woman who does love you.

[@TalLeGal]

It’s true. Women can be abusers too. Of men and of women. My 2 DV abusers were both women. I’ve never been that vulnerable with a man. Not sure I will ever be that vulnerable with anyone again. Relate to “finding it hard to find the old me.”

[@tamiewert808]

It's portrayed as man against woman because the stats support that this is 99% the case.

[@Peter-55]

@@TalLeGal Thank you. I agree, I cannot see a day when I would feel comfortable in a close relationship again.

[@Peter-55]

@@tamiewert808 With respect, your assertion that the stats say 99% of abusers are men against women is incorrect. It’s statements like this that are part of the problem. Whilst I acknowledge that women are more likely to be the victims in terms of numbers, many men are also victims (often silent). Because of the traditional role of men in society, the abused man tends not to speak out about his situation for fear of not being taken seriously. This was my situation for many years. Society needs to recognise that domestic abuse is not gender specific, and videos like this one need to stress this point.

[@aditiaher7]

I really admire what a hollywood actress Julia Roberts said about this issue! She said "Women you aren't rehabilitation center for badly raised men and it's not your job to fix them! Women need a partner not a project! It's so sad to see this problem still exists and even developed countries are no exception to it! Why women take so long to get out of an abusive relationship? Is your love for an abusive man more valuable than your own life? In many cases of domestic violence , many women took so long with a futile hope that their partners will change and unfortunately the time they sought help or wanted to get out of their abusive marriage it was too late! Reading about their brutal deaths simply makes you shiver and feel helpless! It's needs to stop!

[@SC-qw3li]

Aditi Aher as a survivor of abuse over 11 years it MUST be made clear that leaving an abuser is when you are MOST at risk - this is when most women and their children are at greatest risk. The abuser will not leave you alone to get on with your life once you leave if anything many will see it as their responsibility to finish what they started. The impossible situation for many of us is that you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. A piece of paper ordering them to not cross a certain life does not stop them murdering you. The comment regarding do you place your love for them above your life is one that should never be written unless you have walked in the shoes that fears death in their own home sleeping next to the enemy.

[@SC-qw3li]

I agree with all my heart and with first hand knowledge that it needs to stop! ... In order to support victims it first starts with us not judging their decision to stay with their abuser (which essentially means all too often a decision to stay alive) but instead offer compassion and a safe non judgemental place for them to share their pain and predicament as the first step to exposing the dark truth and bring light and love into their world and feel your understanding and empathy which in turn can empower them to feel strong enough to leave and survive beyond the nightmare.

[@jogargus1277]

Oh so very true!

[@SC-qw3li]

apple.news/A4aU58akSRCCyfQNRTxsBQQ - when leaving leaves you in more danger. Case and point. My heart goes out to every victim and every survivor: you are braver and stronger than you know ❤️

[@tawnteens]

Aditi Aher wrong. Wrong. You are wrong. Women stay with these men because women get murdered by these men if they try to leave. Read your paper every day! Every day a woman dies because she has left (or tried to divorce) a man who abuses her. It happens every day in this state I live in. These men will threaten to KILL you if you leave them . Do your research. Volunteer at a domestic violence center (hotline, support group)

[@lgracie33]

And the pity of it is, not all bruises show on the outside 😢,

[@Fran-mh2ef]

Yea... That is most certainly true.... When my boyfriend abuses me, it doesn't leave physical brusies but it does leave MENTAL AND psychological brusies as well.... Most times i wish i was just dead so i won't have to deal with it anymore

[@s.p.baughman7885]

Exactly

[@poppie015]

Totally agree, that's the other game of a bully, no Mark's no questions, but you hurt inside

[@estategioiosa]

I know a very good man who was beaten by his wife everyday. Was humiliated, insulted, and beaten. He never answered in back. Never. Violence can be from men or women.

[@BlueTilda96]

No one should ever be abused, man or female.💔

[@johnfairweather9188]

I know a man like this as well, but you will NEVER see a documentary about abusive women.

[@hopeslover6778]

@@johnfairweather9188 then please help him

[@sunflowersims]

@@johnfairweather9188 then make one

[@kulaniwarner2424]

@@johnfairweather9188 I think people are starting to come around. There are two men I've seen on the news and youtube who have shared their horror stories about the women they were with. Unfortunately, change take a lot of time but women are JUST as likely as men to abuse.

[@ymReal]

I'm so glad that dude stood up for this woman

[@lindaworthington4425]

Unfortunately there is not always someone around to intervene.

[@donnaleeclubb119]

Unfortunately like this woman, the women make excuses and you cannot force the women to leave the abuser. So many stay and they stay not because they have no where to go, they don't want to leave the life they have, the house, the car, the vacations, the money. Some women do not mind the trade off. It is not something I don't think I would do, but who am I to judge another woman's reasoning and what she is willing to take in her marriage? My neighbors were just like that. He beat her all of the time. The police would be called constantly. He would tell her he would kill her before he let her go. She left twice with the help of police and her family. She had family in another state. They were willing to take her and her two children. Do you know what her answer was? "I don't want to leave my house, my car, my money." Not, he won't let me. Not he will follow me. It was that she did not want to start over on her own. She never had really been on her own. They stayed together until they both died. He took care of her all through cancer. He was the loving husband. It was unreal. This 75 year old man taking gentle care of the woman he always beat, beat to the point that she lost her hearing in one ear. Like I said, who am I to judge. It was their life, their marriage.

[@patr70]

@fotopoulos WS blanchette Thank you for Sharing your Experience. You are an inspiration of Strength and Courage. The Truth is that Nobody really cares about what REALLY goes on behind their neighbors closed doors becuase EVERYONE is trapped in their own Illussions. It is going to takes thousands of years of evolution before things get better in this world.

[@kulaniwarner2424]

Yes, this was pretty much a "best case scenario" situation of resolution. Most people who are in abusive relationships are scared for their lives. Survival mingled with isolation, sleep deprivation, HIGH stress on a constant basis, not able to make your own money so you are dependent, and sometimes starvation all aid the abuser in keeping you weak and terrified. I don't understand why others don't understand this. The worlds education has failed everyone miserably. There's so many comments asking "why did you stay" and I just think "well lets see how you do on little to no sleep ALL the time, you have no one to turn to, no money to get away, etc". It's literally the playbook of how to control someone. It can LITERALLY happen to ANYONE. NO ONE is above being abused or conned. Pisses me off.

[@chantelcuddemi7646]

My mother's been through domestic violence, and I've been a witness to it. It's not easy for women to get out, but it's not impossible.

[@janetwentz3259]

Been there before. Although it’s been over 20 years ago, I still got nervous when he was yelling at her. Don’t walk away ladies, RUN if you’re in an abusive situation.

[@stopwars8642]

Thank GOD for that one man at the last moment who cared enough

[@karlaschmiedlin8016]

I'm glad that last scene was added. Too many women let these men return to their lives, feeling like they are failing if they don't. This family moved on. Please, anyone who is in this kind of life... Please know that you are a beautiful strong person, and you are meant to have a good life, free from this fear.

[@BrownyBird]

My abuse was psychological. It broke me (and my kids) from inside out. With all respect to other victims i don't know which is worse, if physical or emotional. The only thing i can say is LEAVE. Your kids and you will struggle but will find your way. JUST LEAVE. LEAVE!😢

[@JulieRushworth-k4w]

There equally evil, I hope your in a better place now?

[@Emmie1223]

I’m a child, born from my mother’s abuse. I urge everyone to leave their spouse, and don’t let the children be a consideration of staying to keep the relationship in order, but LET THE CHILDREN BE CONSIDERED. Don’t consider the relationship to be stable, but consider that the kids living their life to be stable. It’s not the shelter you’re supposed to be worried about, it’s the children’s lives at stake while the mother’s life is also at stake. My mother’s head was bleeding, and the only way it healed was when it started to dry up. It was so sad, because he kept accusing her of cheating.

[@princesr8303]

Growing up like this was very tough. Seen my mother get disrespected everyday was tough. 25 years later she's still with him..Trying to understand why she puts up with this everyday. Even after we tried to help her.

[@jacquelynpowell7964]

She's probably terrified.

[@kathywedzik4905]

I'm not saying this is the case but some people like to be abused and who's to say that he didn't threaten her or you if she does leave. These fools knock down attempt to knock a ladies confidence down in herself she may actually believe she can't make it any other way.

[@lornakurien7962]

After 37 years of marriage, it's hard to leave. The fear of being alone after all those years is greater. He doesn't hit me, but the verbal abuse is horrible. I have low self esteem.

[@earthed_soul]

@@lornakurien7962 Lorna you will be very surprised at how your world turns into a blooming flower as the days, weeks, months and years roll by, bringing in many loving and good people, once you make that escape. He's just brainwashed and abused your mind heart and soul to believe every fear-inducing, selfhate-inducing, hateful, humiliating, degrading insult he ever spat at you. Begin the seed of change for yourself today 😘❤️🙏🏽

[@plum_loco]

@@lornakurien7962 You are worth more than you think. Why give him any more of YOUR LIFE? Take it back! Start with your finances.

[@sm3296]

I hate roses to this day. False promises in a bouquet.

[@katierobertsfnp6403]

Wow. You really struck a nerve my friend.

[@lynnb5726]

This was way too accurate! The only unrealistic part was his friend trying to help the wife! Most of the abusers families and friends are enablers! They know what is happening and blame the victim or come up with excuses as to why the abusers do what they do!

[@tettivestberg2989]

I agree men are in general cowards they are afraid too of the abuser, my best friends husband was always yelling at my friend and called her unpleasant names I got really mad once an told him to stop, of course did he get angry at me too and starting to call me names no one in the room dared to stand behind me not even my own husband. I went from the party and locked my husband out that night.

[@shelocsher2396]

Or decide to “mind their business” smh

[@hatchetmasta]

This was exactly my problem with this clip. The knight in shining armor almost NEVER happens. I hate for the show to provide unrealistic hope. Most women in this situation will not be magically rescued by a friend brave eniff to stand up to an abuser.

[@biancapierce639]

Agree. The men who do rescue usually turn out to be abusers themselves.

[@mommy2libras]

Especially since they were both police officers. There's no accurate data for domestic violence occurrence among police officers because their partners tend to not report it and for those that do, it's often not even made into any kind of "official" record. Someone might take a statement but that statement will often get either conveniently lost or deliberately buried. Very few are held accountable by their peers.

[@camilleelise2508]

I wish more people stepped in to help like the "rookie" did.

[@AMANP2021]

Feels so close to home. My father abused my mother all life. He stopped hitting later but kept abusing and treated her so badly. Se finally passed away due to this. I couldnt save her. If anyone is going through this, put an end to this shit immediately. These are monsters and you will regret not doing anything.

[@evapektas]

I am so sorry for your mother. Now she is in a better place...

[@AnthonyLiccione]

"The key was in his hand, but she found a way to unlock herself."

[@guinevereinthefield176]

Beautiful 😊

[@AnthonyLiccione]

@@guinevereinthefield176 Thank you ! :)

[@jj-tw7yb]

My now ex husband was verbally abusive for more than 20 year of our marriage, on the 30th year he kept coming home drunk and punched me in the jaw. I called 911 and within minute had over 15 officers at my home (I worked with many of them) I have since lost a tooth because of the damage to my jaw, he broke the tooth at the root. Three specialist later, i had to have the tooth removed, it was my back tooth and i really cannot chew on that side and cant afford to have a new tooth put in. One of my sons still talks to me , the other went to my ex husband side, i am 61 and the last 7 years have sucked.

[@adelafirme]

I understand stand my ex husband beat me several no joke. Both my children didn't speak to me until my daughter had a child she reached out to tell me. I'm stuck again this time 12 years I'm surprised I'm still alive .

[@ΚικηΚομση]

@@adelafirme please leave him. Make a phone call to a line that helps women in danger. Your life is more precious even yours children. You deserve to be alive and to be happy.

[@sugarlu9388]

I really hope that the other one comes around 🥺

[@PeaceOutWorld]

@@adelafirme believe me, it will never get better and only worse. You can't be perfect no matter what you do. They will find something wrong with you. Get out with your life.

[@Phlowermom]

The best is yet to come. You're free and alive and the rest of your life is YOURS! Don't waste it!!

[@josieschwerdtfeger1200]

That’s the kind of man that killed his wife and three kids just this year in January by setting their car on fire. Women, you need to realise you are of infinite worth, you deserve better than this, rise up and go free, for you and your children’s legacy. Let it not be one of abuse, and tyranny. The choice is in your hands.. God will help you, you just have to be strong and walk ... love to you all 💕

[@lioydwilliams1850]

josie schwerdtfeger, you got a lovely smile

[@yondergirl83]

The one in australia? Thats was a narcissist defo. I left sydney 2019 dec 30, i met my soulmate, turned out he likes to strangle necks...

[@lyricberlin]

where is God when he hunts her down and kills her because she left?

[@sarcasticallyrearranged]

God will help you?! I guess this doesn't apply to the woman and children you just mentioned who were BURNED ALIVE!

[@elsaj1978]

This made me cry. Some women I'm not lucky to have someone to help them in fact they are all alone and have children it's like being captive nowhere to go no one to talk to you're stuck with no doors or Windows and it's black no light you're trapped and can't get out. The signs are always there if you see a victim of domestic violence don't turn the other way help them because they are all alone and don't know what to do save life. They need to learn that it's not okay and it's time to break the pattern. #togetherwecanenddomesticviolence #happyaliveinsideandout

[@BlueTilda96]

❤❤❤

[@misska7535]

I got the chills from the beginning. Then when the daughter went into her room I wasn't sure if she was praying or called the guy on speaker & just gripping her hands my eye's filled with tears. So sad bcuz this is true. Gid bless everyone reading this in Jesus mighty name 👑👑🙏🙏🌾🕊🌾🕊🌈🌈❣❣❣❣

[@DM-wu5hn]

The first hit nearly broke my collar bone. I knew it was over, but it was going to take a few days to move out. The next day he dragged me across the house by my hair and bounced on my chest, collapsing a lung. There have been hardships, but nothing I endured was worse than what he did to me and would have done. Life is about changes and choices, and the unknown isn't all that bad.

[@kristinwolf1165]

"The unknown isnt all that bad" i love this. ❤

[@LightworkBeacon]

For any woman, child, or vulnerable person that is in this position, know that you are prayed for. I think of those I may not know yet who need to feel there are people in the world who care. May you find strength and be delivered. We must talk about this. We must be aware of the support and ongoing resources needed. To start: unplug and be a good neighbor. You never know who needs you to pay attention. 🙏❤️🕊

[@starrwhite9365]

It can happen to anyone !!! Now that is true. Currently living this movie

[@SunayanaSB1998]

Rookie is great. Wish all humans were to have been like him

[@FlipMacz]

I left immediately. Couldn't imagine staying.

[@tinahachey454]

I'm so glad she had friends that cared that was really good thank you 😄

[@bogumilamieczkowski8044]

She's lucky. I didn't get help from nobody

[@crystaltaylor8241]

Bogumila - Are you okay now? Is that in the past? Even if it was in the past, I’m sure it has left you with painful memories to deal with. I’m sorry you went through that.

[@katydrew5274]

Nor did I. It's so hard when everyone turns a blind eye on top of the abuse.

[@malindisultuska9618]

I'm so sorry! I know what that feels like. Like someone else asked, are you still in it?

[@aditisrivastava7079]

Yes she is lucky

[@Fran-mh2ef]

Yeah it sucks that any of us here in the comments section have dealt with that. I especially have been going through you know abuse and it's like there's a really no help. So for those of you who I found refuge and for those of you who have found freedom and have left I'm glad that you found freedom and I'm glad that you left. And I hope that your life gets back on track!

[@angellucas-ranck9594]

Unfortunately it sometimes takes an extreme event like that for you to come to your senses. I finally left my first husband after a huge fight, which he decided to start by waking me up to argue. The last straw for me was after trying to put my head through the wall, he said he was going to get the shotgun to “plug up my smart mouth with”. I ran out of the house carrying my baby while half naked. One of the things I remember him saying after he got the divorce papers was that he couldn’t understand why I couldn’t forgive his “outburst”, that’s how he saw his trying to kill me as an “outburst”. It’s been almost 19 years and I still haven’t forgiven him. It took me a long time to get back to how I was prior to my first marriage. He was like the textbook abuser, he started by break my spirit, then came the verbal abuse and once I gave birth the physical abuse came out. To this day I still sometimes hear his voice in my head but thankfully my current husband is amazing in helping me through it. I thank God everyday that my current husband came into my life and was willing to earn my trust after it had been broken so badly.

[@AMYBIERHAUS]

I got chills upon the ending scene. Brilliantly done; bravo!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Amy Harvey,hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@candacejones7403]

I hate the kids have to see this. No way. I can't let my kids ever see this. I would die first. My kids deserve better.

[@kerflufflbottumlekerfluffl6643]

My dude I’m still a kid and if I were to mearly get a RUMER that my dad is abuse ing my mom I would get a very stronge urge to kill him Of corse with profe

[@Jan7kowa11]

The scene of the daughter character at 7:48 was heartbreaking

[@AngelinaA-s1u]

My sister’s boyfriend started this crap and we (her brothers) had a word with him. He decided to move on. If your sister is going through this you need to intervene.

[@JulieRushworth-k4w]

Good on you men, sadly not all dv victims have brothers

[@tonifly1979]

thankyou to everyone making this movie xx im 14 years free and the best thing i ever did getting the strength to get away xx my strength came when my then youngest would freak out if a man spoke to me xx my daughters saved me x

[@Coloradonow1963]

My blood runs cold- those of you that have been through any type of DV know what I am talking about.

[@elsaj1978]

Most definitely many don't understand the smell of fear not knowing what mood he will Wake up or get home. It is like You're always walking on eggshells. Not knowing if that's the day he will finally kill you or hurt the children. No more what happens here stays here. Speak up tell as many people as you can. #togetherwecanenddomesticviolence #happyaliveinsideandout

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Michele S,your lovely smile can make the news

[@someonefromsomewhere1285]

I saw my mom went through this for over 20yrs, this is so sad and in all of it I was made a mom by 9yrs old taking care of my 3 younger siblings when she left after all the licks. I'm 33 today and the psychological scars it left has changed me. I can't stand loud noises, it scares the hell out of me and I have anxiety now. She got the courage to leave a month ago but she always go back. I hope this time she doesn't. She's 58yrs now. My siblings and I are scarred for life. I always find the need to be in control of things in my life, because that's all I knew when I was a child and it's affecting my relationship. I'm so fragile and no one knows that. It's sad for the victim but what about the innocent kids involved.

[@dawnnicolas7617]

Nobody knows what it feels like unless you have been in an abusive situation. I was and it was terrible. The frustration, emotional and physical abuse is all encompassing. The isolation pure hell, afraid to be there, afraid to come home from work. My ex was a hard core drug addict... this really complicated things. Statistically speaking it takes SEVEN attempts for a victim to leave their abuser. AND, once leaving, it is the Single most dangerous time for the abused. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Education is empowerment and domestic violence does not discriminate. Shame, trauma bonding. Fear,guilt and learned helplessness and hopelessness keeps a victim tied to the abuser. Victim blaming is pervasive and isn't needed. Good interpretation in this short film.

[@rebeccamccready1135]

No one should ever go through this they deserve a much better life and love and respect and care I’m so glad that his friend snad up for her and her daughter 😊

[@marinaneary7502]

You can't teach an abuser not to abuse. It's pointless. People like that cannot be reformed. They can only be isolated.

[@carachantler2325]

Coersive control abuse is as damaging as physical. Mental, psychological, emotional total control. I don't recognizer the person I 'allowed' myself to be. W.T.F. happened. Never saw it coming until I was years into it. Never thought it could happen to Me 😳🤔😔

[@kurttoy5035]

I lived with Coercive control abuse for a long time, even after I graduated from high school.

[@hopeless7374]

"Never disrespect me in front of my family" told me my husband also before he hits me. This man is excatly how my husband is.... i cant belive i married a monster like this. Now I finally made divorce and now hes mother explains me what a bad woman i am to do this...

[@abelromero1350]

This total reminds me of what is going on in my life. I'm not being abused by my partner (I'm single) but I'm being abused by both my mother and step father. I'm 27 and don't want to deal with abused. I get abused physically, emotionally, verbally, and spiritually. I get prevented from seeing my friends, I get put down for my jobs, I get abused and judged for being a different religion and being gay. I get threatened, get my things gone through, and all horrible things. I cried when I watched this

[@reymohammed7040]

I was in a parallel situation fifty years ago. If you have to crash with a series of friends, do it. A mother who would turn against you is still more dangerous than a vicious stepfather/paramour, because she has projected into you something about herself she hates and wishes to destroy.

[@geh5443]

Act like a Man not a bitch lol

[@sehrishkhalid126]

I am sorry to hear this.. You are a beautiful human being worthy of every happiness of this world.. Virtual hugs!

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

Time to go. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. Library.

[@marinaneary7502]

I hope you find an amazing partner who will motivate you to leave your parents behind.

[@d.s.lpeiris6243]

With all my heart I feel for each precious woman here , my daughters..my sisters.. No more Cages..Fly free .

[@dianasimms1810]

Women, never, never put your kids through domestic violence. Do not think things will be worse if you leave...it’s devastating for children to live that life. I was happier poor and free of my parents miserable relationship...but of course she found another abusive man. By then we were getting older. I felt it was her problem to decide how to live. Might sound cold but I lost so much sleep terrified as a child. Put your kids first and you’ll find the right path.

[@taniawoodgate9477]

diana aimma sorry I have to comment and this is because I work with abusers and their victims. You should be saying, men, men, never put your children through domestic abuse. Your comment, whilst I appreciate that you were a victim, implies it’s the victims fault that the children are traumatised. It’s not. It’s the abusers. Whether that is a female or male. The abusers are traumatising their children. In my view, your mother didn’t choose or find another abuser, he choose her. The more vulnerable a women, the more easier it will be the abuser to do their work. I am sorry to hear you went through this. The children suffer a lot but change your narrative and put the blame where it rightly should be, with the one responsible.....the abuser. I hope you heal from the experience. All the best to you.

[@pt4942]

Would be challenging if they have no close and or community support. No cultural support. They fear for their and their children's lives. Their finances are most likely controlled by the perpetrator. They have no foreseeable stable and secure housing. :( Put onus on the abuser, and the culture that supports them to enable this behaviour. Not the victim

[@conversevans43]

I absolutely loved how at the end they let the bird free (out of the cage because it was "caged in") but only for a while so the girl could care of it. But they ended up free at the end and were no longer caged in just like the bird. I loved the symbolism between both, and it was great that the mother had such a good friend Ruth and that the guy was looking out for her as well. It's always better to have a support system and it definitely helps the person transition out of the domestic abuse situation and at least helps them think about their options. When they have no one in their lives to help them, it makes it so much harder, and her poor daughter had to see this happening to her mom which was sad as well. This was a great story and I'm glad everything worked out in the end. Thank you for sharing your story! I look forward to seeing more of your future work!