calling the police on my neighbours 🚨 r/AITA 1 800 Drama Podcast

1 800 Drama Episode 11 is live! In this week's r/AITA deep dive, we discuss if it's appropriate to call the police on your neighbours, being on the brink of a mental health and financial disaster for a bride and groom, and giving away things that don't belong to you. Grab a cuppa and let’s go fishing! 🎣
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Be kind and have a great day (:

[@Nyxxeonn]

The gift story is so confusing, the wife offering to buy him a new fan like.. then just buy a new fan for your boss?! that's the weirdest logic ever.

[@elaineb7065]

Also property boundaries. If you've ever had anything stolen from you, you know the feeling of invasion & unsafety that gives you

[@coasttocoast2011]

With the fan story, it’s like with my dad eating my mum’s chocolate without asking. She’s not upset at the chocolate eating, she’s upset that he doesn’t even bother to ask

[@petrastedman669]

My family does a 'gift box' where they keep things in case they need a last minute gift for people who show up or tag along at the holidays. Candles, toys, knickknacks, things of candy (restocked every 6 months), gloves, scarves, socks, tees and hoodies in a range of sizes, and any games they have duplicates of. It's a nice way to never let someone feel left out at their home.

[@jennydavis5261]

My husband and I have a present cupboard and it makes birthdays and especially Christmas so much less stressful

[@naonao9528]

I have a bin in the closet where I keep gifts and cards for different occasions. Especially if there is a sale, I go on a trip, there is a craft fair, the item is limited edition, etc. I think the key is to keep it all in the same place, so when an occasion is coming up you know what you already have. An example would be I bought my mom 3 coordinating art pieces that I gave her on mother's day, Christmas and her birthday last year.

[@pinsandneedles3]

Yes!! This is so useful. I only have two little gifts at the ready because I can't afford shit at the moment but I have a lot of cards I have collected over the years so at the very least I'll always have a card to give. I even brought a few cards to keep in the office at my last workplace in case one of my coworkers had a birthday or something and mentioned it on the day

[@petrastedman669]

@@pinsandneedles3 smart! And nice that you give what you can. ❤️

[@madalice5134]

These are such great ideas. I really need to adopt this. I tend to lose track of time and sometimes either forget where I hid someone's gift or do last minute shopping, so trying to do this would help me a lot. As long as I don't forget where the gift box is. 😅

[@armie4172]

Expecting a guest to pay $4k to go to your wedding is absolutely *bonkers*. Who would ask that unless everyone you were inviting was extremely wealthy-and even then! Like…no. Just no.

[@s.a.4358]

I wonder if the groom (and bride) are just insanely rich and not aware of ordinary people’s financial situation. Thinking people can spend $4K just to be part of a weddings is crazy, even for someone who make okay money.

[@armie4172]

@@s.a.4358 Yeah that’s probably it. Really rich people live in a bubble where the value of money for them isn’t so much. So, how much a certain amount would impact other people with a lower income to spend vs how much it would impact themselves is vastly different. It’s crazy…😓

[@arthur622]

my aunt is still annoyed at my mother for booking a hotel a few miles away in another country for her wedding, because it wasn't the same hotel as hers. she made a bitter comment last week like "oh she (my mum) doesnt usually book all inclusive" and i responded "uhh yeah she does. it just depends on the hotel". i cant believe that shes annoyed at my mum for not wanting to pay £2k extra just to be in the same hotel!!! i think shes lucky we went to that overpriced island for her wedding in the first place edit: my aunt did also spend €2k on hotel alcoholic drinks alone on that wedding holiday, so maybe money like that doesnt mean anything to her

[@armie4172]

@@arthur622 Holy crap- €2K on just *drinks*?? That’s like a month’s rent or more! What were they drinking-200 year old Scotch and ultra-rare Champagne?? 😬 She is lucky your mum for even going to such a pricy destination wedding! Talk about the rich needing to touch grass.

[@arthur622]

@@armie4172 the funny thing abt "touching grass" tho is that she's lived a working-class, single (and the world is built for couples of dual income) life up until marrying that man. she should know even more than us what its like to not be able to afford luxurious things. it's like she's forgotten all about her previous life. i feel kind of bad talking about her this way because she is quite a generous and vibrantly loving woman. but also her sense of entitlement in this scenario is quite difficult to ignore :/

[@Rikrobat]

I red flag fart humour if it’s being used as the laziest form of comedy in movies, and mostly because it’s so overused at this point. As they say, if you have to force a fart, it’s probably shit. But if farts just happen and we all have a giggle about it, then green flag. 😂

[@borealernadelwald]

I absolutely can't watch movies anymore that use toilet/fart humor a lot. If it's one scene, I skip it. I just don't find it funny at all. Otherwise if people around me fart, I just ignore it. Most of the time I just don't think it's funny, but I also don't think it's a bad thing either - therefore I just don't mention it. The only time I find it amusing is when my dog farts occasionally while going up the stairs or while walking just before he does his business. I don't know, little dog farts are kinda cute, haha. (Unless they are silent, but deadly, which my dog had in the beginning before I changed his food. The little stinky boy.

[@adrienstarfaer]

Yeah, between your first point and the slippery slope into gross out humor, it's definitely a beige flag overall for me, being heavily context dependant.

[@dq8431]

@@hoathanatos6179what are you trying to say?

[@AMH1988]

I'm a childminder with my own school aged children too. I keep a bag at home with a stash of £5 and under toys and party favours for unexpected or forgotten birthdays or significant events.

[@hannahk1306]

I think my mum used to do this when we were little too, for "surprise" birthday parties and little treats (say if we got a certain number of stickers on our sticker charts). I think there were things like bouncy balls, yoyos, colouring pencils, stickers, etc.

[@PaniPunia]

I have strong feelings about weddings, I made a list 1) if you have destination whatever accept people will not come, don't push and be graceful. If not money then time off work or childcare might be the problem and your wedding is not more important than someone's kids or livelihood 2) if you have guests that travel from far away try your best to plan things in a way that will accomodate them 3) don't get sour about the gifts. Sure, some people are stingy, but for most attending a wedding is already pricey, be gratefull they came and gave you anything 3) do not ever demand people to change the way they look because you have an "aestethic". Nobody gives a damn, you can't demand people cut/dye hair, loose weight or buy new clothes in some obscure colour. No. Get over yourself, you invited your friends and family not hired models.

[@kristalpower292]

Love this weddings are about two families coming together and having your friends celebrating with you. I always want to know from those brides who put aesthetics above everything do they regret it. Loosing friends over a wedding seems silly but also the aesthetics we like change over time do they still like it 10 years later.

[@s.a.4358]

I think all things on your list are very reasonable. I also hate the idea that people’s gifts should cover the value of the meal - so if I invite a family with 2 children they need to give me a gift that costs what I have spent on 4 people’s attendance?? If I invite people it’s because I want them to be with me on that significant day, part of the memories, part of the celebration, not because I think they will give me a gift or money. If you do not have the money to pay for the wedding without your guests contributing, just invite less people. Said as someone who is getting married later this year and yes, weddings costs a lot of money but nobody forced us to do it - it’s a choice.

[@futhark3]

I'm getting married next month in my home country, my partner is from close to where we live but we're gonna have to travel as well as his family and some friends. We just said no gifts necessary, but if you want to we are very fond of unique thrift finds (my family is always scanning thrift stores, they sometimes find amazing stuff) or homemade personal gifts. We only invited people we assume will want to attend and then made sure to help them plan the trip. I wouldn't want anyone to go bankrupt from something like a wedding 😂

[@katrinadaly1755]

In my opinion weddings are just way too dramatic atm. Everyone seems obsessed with every stupid little detail being 100 percent perfect , but it’s all just perfectly fake… I can’t imagine requiring my guest to pay to flight and stay in another country for at the minimum a couple of nights and STILL complaining about the people who have moved heaven and earth to follow you halfway around the world for something you could’ve done locally. Obviously I understand if the country you get married in is out of necessity (like a same sex marriage) or due to family/culture etc. but I’d naturally understand if that meant many people who I wanted there just weren’t able to make it. I can’t imagine demanding people show up to celebrate me, then demanding money/gifts, demanding people change their OWN body or clothes. I’m so confused, do these people actually like their friends?! To me if you want to invite someone to your wedding it’s because they’re close family or friends - people who you want to spend your special day with so you should love and accept them how they are. Unless you have a great uncle Bart who spews homophobic remarks and gets far too sloshed before you can say your vows, do you really need to complain and start drama. Just because it’s your special day, doesn’t mean it’s anyone else’s and yeah your friends and family should care about going along with the plan but they shouldn’t be expected to bow down to your every whim and insane demand. 🙄 Can’t we just get married without becoming bankrupt from the dress, venue and cake and not alienate half of the family that’s going to turn into an episode for Dr. Phil before the reception… sigh…

[@nikyk7600]

The last one is crazy. I am nowhere near getting married and I already know I would be fine with wedding in my parents garden. Like seriously, do whatever you want, but at the same time.... touch some grass

[@kj7067]

I attended two weddings of friends recently, and in both cases the couples were so incredibly gracious that they've really set my standards. Neither of them had a dresscode, and they both made it absolutely clear that there was no pressure to attend. One of the couples provided space in their house for members of the bridal party to stay over. The other couple absolutely refused any gifts, especially since almost everyone was travelling quite far to be there. They took us out to dinner the night before the wedding, and wouldn't even let us pay for the tip. Throughout both weddings, it became very clear just how happy the couples were to have their friends, family and loved ones be there - it was beautiful.

[@hannahk1306]

My friend got married in Germany (we're both British, but her husband is German), so they said no gifts because of travel and accommodation costs for the guests. A lot of the German guests were also travelling from other parts of Germany and the local ones were giving lifts to other guests between the wedding and reception venues, so it made sense just to have a blanket no gifts rule. They also had the wedding over the whole weekend to allow people time to travel and to spend more time relaxing. They also put on food for anyone arriving on the Friday evening (the actual wedding was on the Saturday afternoon), so we could get to know some of the other guests and also unwind after travelling with a free dinner.

[@kj7067]

@@hannahk1306 LOVE the idea of a pre-wedding dinner to give people a chance to get to know the other guests. Might just do that if I ever get married.

[@hannahk1306]

@@kj7067 Yeah, it was really lovely and much more casual than the main wedding reception. The food was just things like soup and bread and then some cold buffet items, like salads, fruit and cheese so people could just grab what they wanted at whatever time they arrived.

[@angiep2229]

A "Gated Community" can be so many things here in the U.S. I once lived in a inexpensive townhome (like, I was in my twenties, making $11 per hour and had two roommates to share with) that was in a gated community, but it was in a high crime neighborhood and the leasing office that was in charge was pretty crappy about maintenance and issues. We had neighbors threaten us, and it was just not a great place to live. Yes, there are also gated communities that are neighborhoods full of mansions and such, but it's just hard to say from the OP's post.

[@zZizify]

I gotta say that the lighting in this episode is ON FLEAK. Shaaba's hair is POPPIN', her skin is GLOWIN'. Gosh! No shade on Jamie ofc, I guess my eye's were just drawn to the beauty of Shaaba today.

[@PaniPunia]

Tea, coffee, chocholates, maaaaybe a bottle of wine - those are appropriate gifts for a work friend.

[@celticphoenix2579]

That last story hit close to home. I have been married for 22 years and my mom is still slightly upset about how I got married. When I told her I was engaged she was excited and started planning the guest list. My family is huge. My groom had just himself, his mom, an estranged pair of siblings and their kids. He had barely spoken to his father in decades. So already I could see problems if my side had 300 and his had 5. Then I realized that my mom was not financially in a place to pay for my wedding, neither was his mom so it would be us paying for everything. We were already in debt. So I got us a free court license and booked a date, told my mom when it was and got married in clothes we already had which held meaning for us. We had four attendees and the shortest wedding in history (literally the officiant said: "Do you? Do you? You are married. Kiss the bride and congratulations". My mom was so upset she skipped attending our celebratory brunch which my MIL organized for us, choosing instead to go home right after. We were disappointed, but not deeper in debt and our wedding didn't put anyone out of pocket. Recently my younger sibling got married to their long time partner and I was unable to attend because the plane tickets would have cost me 30k. That's before factoring in the cost of getting my passport and visa, or accommodation or spending money. I did get video of their wedding and it was truly lovely. I wish I could have been there.

[@thecolorjune]

Is that a typo? Did you mean to say 3k? I can’t imagine plane tickets being 30k unless you are renting a jet

[@celticphoenix2579]

@@thecolorjune not a typo. That's what it costs to fly from a third world country to a first world country half way around the globe. Our currency exchange puts us at 23 to 1 with the United States.

[@thecolorjune]

@@celticphoenix2579 oh so that is not 30k USD, it is 30k of a different currency? That makes more sense

[@celticphoenix2579]

@@thecolorjune yup. ZAR to be specific. That said, I find it wild how Amerocentric the thinking of US citizens is. It's like they need constant reminding that the rest of the planet exists and isn't just a distant corner of the USA. Really makes me giggle 😃

[@thecolorjune]

@@celticphoenix2579 ​​⁠​⁠ ​​⁠well at first I thought you were referencing the amount in £ bc we are watching a British channel. Then I referenced USD because you mentioned the conversion rate to USD. USD and pounds are pretty similar, same with euros, and so 30k of any of those currencies would be an unreasonable amount for a plane ticket. I actually live in the Netherlands so I’m not inherently USD centric

[@twinning1944]

I’m from England, I live in Aotearoa New Zealand and went home and got married (legally) in the uk. We had a hen party in NZ before I left for the wedding and one in the uk. Some very close people attended both (I’m blessed she travelled with her kid for it). The uk one was cheaper but neither required foreign travel. I knew many of my friends here in NZ wouldn’t be able to come to the English wedding, so we had another wedding where we live later the same year (both were moderate events). It meant we could celebrate with everyone we love without anyone being put out financially.

[@mossman15]

My mom has a gift box too! Not with specific people in mind but things like lotion/soap gift baskets, cute generic journals and other stationary, trinkets from travels, etc. Super helpful for us growing up in a big family with limited funds and a chaotic schedule to have some things to choose from if we forgot a sibling forgot to tell mom about a birthday party until last minute or we were invited to a dinner at someones house right before payday or something. Highly suggest.

[@Him_He_Me]

Jamie gives me the "get off my lawn" vibes 😂😂 Its really frustrating when you know neighbours or any people that are doing something very inconsiderate, that if you were to talk to them about it, they would either tell you to F*ck off, or just ignore you. ITs like no one gives a toss if they are being an assh*le to nice human beings. And then the nice human beings get pushed to their limit, get mad and then the assh*les turn it around and make you look like the scumbag. 30years ago, people were more concerned about getting along, now no one gives two shakes of a buffalo's butt.

[@marieugorek5917]

Not only do we have gift-box type systems in my family, one year my mother said, "you have to open your birthday gift from me first, because I have no idea what it is. It just says, 'Marie Birthday 2001'" I had admired some Christmas tree ornaments while at the after-Christmas sales in 2000, and she had immediately put it in a box and labeled it so that she knew to give it to me for my early-December birthday the next year. But in the intervening 11 months, we had both completely forgotten those ornaments ever existed.

[@terrifiedofhumans1129]

Weddings are screwy, mine cost 2,500, including flights, my husband and I flew down to where our families were instead of them flying to us, which was only 700$ for us, we had around 50 attendees as it was wrapped up with our family christmas gathering. My mother got remarried earlier this month, and it cost her and her husband $800, half of that was the legal side, papers and celebrant, the other half was lunch for 12 people, it was a small wedding.. These house-priced weddings are insane to me, and with stag/hen parties added, I don't understand it.

[@redthecalicocatdragon1610]

My sister lives in a trailer park that they have a gatekeeper for, so even low income can have gates I HATE people who just get rid of things without properly asking, I know an older guy whose wife passed, and his gardener lady also does some "house cleaning" though her idea of house cleaning is more house decluttering and I was constantly getting mad at her that she was going over board, she kept saying she was asking before getting rid of things but I was constantly pulling out of the trash things that He told me he never said it was okay to get rid of and wanted to keep She got rid of everything she didn't find value in, even tossing away fresh mail that hadn't been gone through yet The only thing he had told her to do with the items was to put them in the garage... it got so bad that when he realized his house was so empty, some rooms literally got an echo he looked like he was going to cry, luckily right now she's back to gardening but I worry what will happen next winter when she doesn't have that distraction but still wants to do work for him (he's a very quiet and soft spoken sort of guy, easily taken advantage of and walked over)

[@alex_blue5802]

I'm not trying to be rude, but was there a story about someone throwing something out without asking?

[@redthecalicocatdragon1610]

@@alex_blue5802 the china fan story just connected to that in my mind, giving away/getting rid of stuff they shouldn't or have been told not to, person generally disrespecting another person's wishes about their stuff and thinking they know best what to do with it

[@solilobye]

@@alex_blue5802 yeah the second story

[@Happy0six]

@@alex_blue5802the story where the girlfriend just gives away random stuff from their house without asking

[@loki_is_tired]

@@alex_blue580217:20, yes. Specifically about giving things away, but they’re pretty related.

[@alex_blue5802]

If the boss was just giving away tickets that she couldn't use, I'm not sure a gift is required. Likely knowing that the tickets wouldn't go to waste was already a relief. If it was a gift card or a box of chocolates that is one thing, but gifting can create a sense of obligation. How long is the boss going to hold onto the fan before throwing it out? The item is precious to OP because of their travel memories, but to anyone else it's just a $5 trinket. The whole concept makes no sense and seems needlessly cruel. I think it's completely understandable to be upset.

[@TransDragon]

How can anyone think it's okay to park in front of someone else's house??? (Except when they're visiting the people in that house)

[@jennifers5560]

We totally have a gift box too. Pre-bought gifts go in it and gifts that we were given, but don’t want to keep. I learned the hard way to put a sticky note on the items with who gave us the gift. You know, so we wouldn’t give that gift to the person that originally gave it to us.

[@SharylLacroix]

Souvenir story: First of all, going around the house to find things to give as a thank you is SUPER TACKY! Sounds like the wife wasn't really that appreciative of the tickets, and/or really didn't like her supervisor, and only wanted to keep up appearances. (Note: Regifting might make sense if it was during COVID lock-down, but then there wouldn't have been a ticketed event to go to.) Secondly, she showed a complete lack of respect for her husband in wanting to take something of his that he wanted to keep She then compounded that by getting upset at him and saying she get him a new one.

[@alex_blue5802]

The tickets weren't even meant as a gift originally, the boss had a change of plans and couldn't use them. It seems like OPs wife feels obligated to give a gift but doesn't want to put effort into it (or doesn't have time to go shopping).

[@HumbleWooper]

For the story about a wife wanting to give away her husband's souvenir fan... I'm almost wondering if OP's wife doesn't like the fan for some reason, and is using "needing a gift" as an excuse to get it out of their home? But if that IS the case, she should be open with OP about it. Deception in situations like this only leads to more hurt and drama down the road.

[@aurorafraire2528]

Something that is forgotten a lot in friendships should have consensual activities, because that isn't just something for romantic relationships. If your friend is pressuring you to do something and you feel bad about saying no or feel like you can't, it is no longer consensual. Also, Jamie, I would love to come to your book tour, but you're not coming to San Diego!

[@whamloverfr]

just wanna say you two have helped me so much with my identiy ❤ when i was first learning about lgbt stuff i discorvered jamies channel and when i wanted to descover my femininity more i discovered shaaba. love your channels 🙏

[@runswithcats42]

My mom used to do something similar to the present box when my siblings and I were kids. She used to buy toys when they were on sale that could then be used as presents if we got a last minute invitation to a birthday party. We would then have a number of choices as to what we wanted to give as a gift.

[@RebekahVee]

I have a knitting “gift box”. I go through phases of knitting, so I take those opportunities to knit a bunch of baby stuff (I don’t have the patience to knit adult sized items). Then I can go to my knitting drawer for any babies that come along. It’s very handy. So, I definitely see the benefit of a gift box.

[@AlexirLife]

Back in the day (when I was married & my kids were living at home) I had a present cupboard too! I kept kids presents & boxes of chocolates, stuff that needed re-gifting & that I picked up at random. My ex used to laugh at me about it but he relied on it more than once. I also used to build it up in the lead up to Christmas for my family. It was such a life saver! I highly recommend 👌

[@sevilator]

My mom kept a "present closet" that we would raid for birthday gifts every time we were invited to a party. I also don't understand not taking your friend's needs into account when planning a wedding and surrounding events. I hosted my bachelorette at my house and my friends agreed that they'd get together to pay for some food and cheap crafts. My husband's friends took him paintballing nearby. His best man couldn't make it to the rehearsal dinner and we were ok with that because a wedding is about celebrating love, not alienating loved ones.

[@Dyejob01]

18:22 If your partner speaks up and requests you to STOP doing something, you should listen. What's the problem with not giving your partners stuff away?

[@whitneym.9358]

With the fan story, it makes me sad that OP says that it's just a little thing to be upset about, because it really isn't a small thing at all, and it makes me wonder if there are any other ways his wife disrespects his boundaries. If I had any loved one give away something of mine, especially something that I've stated has sentimental value, that would severely damage my trust in them. I wouldn't be able to feel secure that my own belongings in my own home are going to be where I left them if I lived with someone who would do that.

[@bubbles15]

19:25 I do this too. I will buy presents 11 months ahead of time if I find the perfect gift right after somebody's birthday.

[@sparklydonkey101]

A present box is such a good idea 😱 I tend to find the perfect gift for people year-round and have zero patience and just give it to them ASAP. But then have nothing for their birthdays or christmases. This would organize my gift-giving so much!

[@jennivamp5]

I have a gift box as well! We have it because a lot of mine and my husband's family live far away and we don't get to see them often and it's often too expensive to ship things, so we keep things until we see them. Also it's a really great way of spreading the cost of Xmas. Getting things throughout the year means it doesn't all pile up in November and December.

[@ChaquetaB]

Wtf is wrong with people getting married? I got married on a Sunday of a holiday weekend (so most people had off on Monday), and the venue wanted to have the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. I had people coming from out of town, so I got the venue to compromise and have a Saturday lunch. I didn't want to have to ask people to take off Friday and pay for an additional night in the hotel.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Both of you were so good yesterday (on Jamie’s channel) and the combined chaos is always the best.

[@harrietrouch4739]

When me and my sister were younger and went to a lot of birthday parties, my mum started the present box. Whenever she saw something nice at an opshop, or there was a good sale on something at a shop she was in she would buy 1 or 2 to keep in the present box until needed. There were nice pens, notebooks, books, socks, puzzles and toys. Whenever it was my cousins birthdays or my friends, I could wake up that morning, pick a couple of things out, run down to the dairy to get some chocolate, and wrap it. Now, whenever she sees something for cheap that she thinks her parents or brothers might like, it goes straight to the present box.

[@autumn7143]

I buy gifts for birthdays and Christmas throughout the year. I have a present closet. Then again, I have a lot of people to purchase for. So this is my way of budgeting for the holidays. I collect the gifts and wrap and label when I get them so the person getting the gift is just as surprised as I am when opening them, because I forget what I bought. I think it’s fun really.

[@Fragmented_Mask]

Oh my god, as a half Croatian / half Brit that whole segment was such a surprise but a welcome one XD Totally spot on though, I have been incredibly ashamed of British tourists at times when I've been abroad, either there or when I lived in other European cities. There is a real bad rep for Stag Dos in particular. Tourists need to understand that other countries don't exist simply to host their drunken stupors, that is somebody else's home and it deserved to be treated with respect.

[@chelseycollins1499]

I also have a "present box"! Because I'm terrible at buying gifts when there's pressure of a looming occasion, so i just accumulate stuff throughout the year and give it when the occasion comes around. I HIGHLY recommend this method for children's birthdays - when i find nondescript kid stuff on sale like craft or science kits I buy them to keep in the box and then when my daughter gets invited to a last minute birthday party, we grab one as a gift for the birthday kid. No last minute stress trying to figure out what to get a kid in her class I've never met.

[@JamiJR]

"Who gives away things that belong to others?" My mom. She's taken things of mine to give to her friends. Like I had this tea strainer I loved as no leaves get into the cup. She decided she was going to give it and some loose leaf tea to a friend of her's. I begged her not to but she did it anyway. Later, when I got upset about it, she felt guilty enough to buy me two replacements.

[@JustAmy2420]

As soon as Jamie said "the funniest tiktok I've ever seen was a fart" I just KNEW! That is the funniest bloody video I have ever seen on the internet, ever, hands down. I cry laughing TO THIS DAY when it crosses my timeline! That video is absolute legend in my family. I rewound and started playing that section of your conversation to my partner, and same as me, he just KNEW instantly and started a manic giggle that only grew as Shaaba confirmed his suspicions. Funniest. Video. Ever. Yes Shaaba. THAT funny 😂

[@chaoticcatgremlim]

I also have emetophobia, and travelling terrifies me too

[@breeanneosuileabhain2036]

We don't have a specific box for gifts, but I have a closet that we'll often put a gift that we bought early for someone because we knew they would like it and they have a birthday, or Christmas coming up. My dad always brought extra gifts for our white elephant activity we do at Christmas so that anyone that didn't have the money to bring one, would still be able to participate (we have a large family. Typically 20-25 people come for Christmas and we do mystery exchange/white elephant gifts). He also did this in case someone brought a guest unexpectedly or at short notice, which happens often. I think it's a great idea to also have several kind of random items to give as appreciation gifts as well.

[@AceOfAros314]

I fully appreciate you shouting out Roly when trying to imitate opening a fan, he was the first person I thought of at that moment. 😂

[@coasttocoast2011]

Me and my parents went to my cousin’s wedding in England in 2009. The flights alone (we’re in Australia) would have been about $4500 but my mum saved for 4 years for that and there was no pressure from cousin, we wanted to go so we could see the whole family too as all my dad’s family are in the UK

[@CabbitPatchKiddo]

I’m glad I’m not the only one with a present box and things like that lol

[@finaleclipse2110]

Yay, my favourite married couple on the Internet! Thank you Shaaba and Jamie for brightening my day, I have an important exam coming up in two days and I needed this ❤

[@sdfghjasdfghjk8175]

Shaaba definitely deserves her MamaShaaba hat. I love present boxes and keeping snack stashes. Such kindness and consideration. I also know I would be like Jamie poking fun about planning 6 months in advance, kindly, cuz that is awesome but also wild. I enjoyed the funny couple banter this episode.

[@helenmohammed2518]

My Mum has a wardrobe full of generic gifts that she buys when they are on sale or sees then over the year. She’s also got a drawer of baby things as we are a big family with lots of people having babies. If any of us need a gift for any occasion we go “shopping” in my Mum’s cupboard first 😂

[@lauraevans2104]

In the US you can park pass the little dips either. Also motorcycles can be harder to see and they’re easier to squish than cars, I would be parking my motorcycles in my drive. Also the Croatia thing, why send a ton of money to go to a place to get cheap alcohol when you can just pay normal price for it where you’re at, but possibly be cheaper. And if poster is in US that $1500 could have been just for flights and hotel for the stay.

[@Sparkling34]

the idea of just like finding random stuff from around the house (that aren't yours) and wrapping them as gifts for other people is so comedic. It's like that old lady in national lampoons christmas vacation accidentally wrapping her cat.

[@andreahidalgolujan7029]

For the first story, in madrid it is quite common to have semi private communities with gates and security but that everyone can access and just are separated from other populated areas by just a road... Some gated communities are of course private and you need to be visiting the owners of a house to enter, but others are just free access in general, especially during the day

[@celeste_a113]

Motorcycle rider here and my favorite thing about my bike is that I can park it anywhere, especially where it won't invonvinience other people. I will even squeeze myself behind a friend's car to keep from taking up a whole parking space on my own. I find it very weird that they would put three whole ass bikes at risk like that just for some shade if you have an actual, paved, driveway you can park them in.

[@nadiamakessomeart]

So excited for your travels! Go to Amsterdam!🎉

[@Maramillwhat94]

My sister and her husband had a neighbour across the road and along a couple houses who worked at the school up the street a bit. He always parked infront of their drive to try and deter teenagers from vandalising his car. Unfortunately this then meant that when my sister got a new car and parked it in her own spot… it got vandalised as the teenagers had caught on and assumed it was the neighbours car

[@memeju1ce]

i have a present box!! i love adding to it and then finding myself in a perfect situation where i already have the best gift for an occasion

[@mitochondria558]

My mom does this! She buys stuff for the family all year, part of it is just money and not being able to spend a lot of extra money during the holidays. So by the time Christmas comes around we have all kinds of little things to open 😁

[@futhark3]

I'm getting married "abroad" in a month and I have attended a couple of those. But in all cases these have been people with mixed backgrounds and wherever you choose, half of the guests are gonna have to travel! I went to a friend's wedding in India and in that case it was quite a big trip. But the couple are from there and they helped out planning a big trip around it. She asked that instead of gifts, we'd go all in on dressing in the proper outfit for each ceremony, told us where to shop and gave a lot of instructions including where to go cheap or expensive (honestly everything was cheap in India). She even gave each of her girlfriends matching sari's in different colors to wear at the main event, then asked a couple of aunties to basically take over a room at the hotel and help all of us dress 😊 it was just amazing and the way they chose to involve us was just the loveliest way to do a wedding abroad. Not everyone can afford to do this and in the case of our wedding, we just decided to go tiny and just have the closest friends and family. Honestly, it's just a lot easier to get married abroad and not have to deal with a big party and it fits us perfectly 😊

[@PaniPunia]

People do things like this whith parking and other stuff (like placing their garbage) because they have no regard for others, and In their head this particular solution is the best (no matter the reality, Just like prefering one burner on the stove or something like that). You can either accept it or fight it using all legal means, because they will not stop on their own accord.

[@mkcatrona]

My mom has a present tub. It's not for presents that she has someone in mind for; it's for when she needs a last minute gift for someone and doesn't know what to give. For example, when I was a kid, she'd have unopened toys just in case I got invited to a classmate's birthday party and didn't know them as well. Or she'll have some stuff that make nice house gifts if she's invited to someone's home and she feels like she should bring a gift. She doesn't specifically go out and buy stuff for this tub, but once in a while, if she sees something on sale and thinks it would make a good generic last minute gift, she might buy it.

[@taylorwalker7417]

My grandma had a gift closet full of casino rewards she would bust out for every occasion 😂 I used to call it our inheritance closet and It's one of my favorite memories of her. Hands down, every household should have one!

[@xXMoonkiXtx]

My mother used to volunteer to give my stuff to people even when I didn’t want them given away. It felt like a way to reinforce the concept that nothing I consider mine is truly mine. Hopefully not at all what is happening here but it isn’t a good sign

[@meganwarren221]

The shade tree on 1st story is probably why. I had neighbors parking in front of my front path, mail box and trash pick up area making us have it be missed. It was because I had a beautiful old oak. Unfortunately it was putting our pluming threw he ll and we had to pull it out to fix the problem. It belongs in a park anyway. Now we have no shade and people park in front of our house from time to time but never blocking anything. I am disabled, so it is such a relief. Neighbors can have a perfectly good driveway but if it's nor shaded they will inconvenience you.

[@lovelifeandcrafts5003]

The gift one : me , my sister and our mum all have a box or more where we keep gifts or things that we were given but don't like/can't use. For example , shower stuff with eucalyptus : i can't use it as it flares my excema so i would keep it and re-gift it to someone who will use it. However, we never re-gift a used item or give away something that isn't ours. Xx

[@blackk_rose_]

Jeez, if I ever get married, it'll either just be a "let's sign the papers, yay" situation or something small and affordable where people can wear what they want as long as it's appropriate for the venue. Show up in white or whatever other colour is supposedly forbidden at a wedding for all I care. I know it wouldn't just be my decision, but I don't see myself marrying someone who is keen on making guests spend obscene amounts of money or dressing up the bridal party like dolls lol.

[@salty_pearl]

Re: first story - I have something very similar to the present box. I have a collection of gifts and nice gift boxes/wrapping that were given to me over the years that I just didn't vibe with, but I've kept knowing I could re-gift them to other people. Maybe not the most ethical, but I feel better knowing they're going to a good home where they can be properly appreciated.

[@alexhika]

The "wedding party" is such a weird concept to me (I'm Italian, live in the UK and I know mostly European people). One of my besties got married recently and she decided to have "bridesmaids" just because it was a fun idea to involve more friends (it's not an Italian thing, we only have witnesses), so 2 friends and I were assigned a colour to wear, the bride made us matching shirts, etc. We also planned stuff for our friend's "hen party" and helped out during the wedding to help her relax. But honestly, other "non bridesmaids" were involved in the hen party (which was a series of mini nights out as not all of us live in the same country, the bride and groom are from two different countries but live in the UK atm and they got married in Rome, where my friend is from) and we would have helped out on the wedding day cause we love our friend :") There are some situations were the brides/groom's friends have the means to plan a little vacation instead of a hen party (e.g. a weekend in a foreign city) but that's a luxury and it's not expected, it's more of a surprise. Other people have other traditions, but it's very much down to the individual group of friends to agree on a budget. We don't even have an Italian expression equivalent to "wedding party". You're a guest or a guest who also does something specific wedding-related, like signing the register if you're a witness, and that's it 😂

[@s.a.4358]

Haha same! I am getting married later in 2024 and live in Belgium but my closest friends live in the UK because I studied there, so my “hen party” will probably be me going to London for a weekend to hang out with them, which is not so different from what I have done many times in the past except that we might do a more fancy activity or meal out to celebrate. One of them will be my witness and the other I am asking to make a speech on the day, but it’s more to show them I appreciate them than to make them do work. We are not really doing a bridal party but because of how the timing of our wedding day is, both my fiancé and I are going to invite our very close friends (and family of course) to the civil wedding and then have lunch all together after, then in the evening we have a meal and party where more people are invited.

[@Nino-xp5df]

Yes, same in Germany as far as I know. Each one of the couple to be married has a witness, usually a close friend or family member, and then there are guests, some of which do stuff for the wedding, help out with planning or the like.

[@koalaskrypin]

I also hoard gifts and keep them months and months. In sweden fathers day is in november, then My dad has his birthday in december, and then shortly after that is christmas. I find it easier to find personalised gifts for him if I have all year to shop. But that's about it. I did have one of my stuff given away. I stored a table at my dads and when I wanted to collect it apparently his new wife had thought it was a good idea to give it to some friends because "they needed a table". It was the first table I ever bought for my own money and I loved it and I finally had space for it again after moving in with someone and it had been given away AND kind of destroyed by the recievers toddler. She saw no wrong doing. Wtf?

[@imgeniusish]

about gifts: we often get random promotional stuff from our suppliers at work, practical things like water bottles, t-shirts, backpacks, notebooks, mugs, pens, baseball caps, what have you. usually pretty good quality as well. me and my coworkers all share them. obviously there are many items i can use but there are things i immediately want to give to someone i know or even if i dont and its something useful i take it and then gift it to someone. around christmas we are also showered with chocolates, wines and other delicious things, in amounts that the six of us would seriously have a hard time consuming before they expire. so we split the loot and gift them away to either our clients or our families. i feel a bit bad about it sometimes bc its not something i went out and chose especially for them but since i love giving gifts but often cant afford them its kind of a win-win or waste not want not situation and so far everyone has been appreciative. i feel cheap but theres ultimately no harm done i guess. giving away someone else's stuff however? i would never.

[@tabithaesaacson9039]

We have a gift closet! I get toys/candles/lotions etc. whenever they are on clearance and throw them in the closet. Then when one of my kids gets invited to a birthday party last minute we go "shopping".

[@ametrinemoon]

My aunt when she used to drive buses for a well-known company, a former neighbour called on her and the bobbies came over to complain. The minibus was well out of the access of the driveway. The bobby was laughing and thought it was making a mountain out of a nada.

[@Bajeffrey]

My Mom had one when I was growing up, but it was for a kids' party. I did the same for my kids. You never know when your kid would get an invite to one.

[@megalolcat234]

Lots of smaller gated communities in California, anyways. It's definitely crime rates and rent rates. A slightly cheaper (smaller) housing option in beach towns, with the slight increase of feeling of safety by the gates and such. It's good for single individuals who need to live in the fancy beach towns but can't afford/don't need a huge house, buuuut don't want to live in sketchy areas. I've seen dozens of 'em near the bay area, heck even my small townhouse community was "gated" with a gate on one end and an open, but length driveway on the other end

[@Layz_Gamer_Girl]

My husband and I got married for around 5K it was hard but we did it. We got married in a mexican restaurant i got my dress off Amazon for 60$ and edited it myself. Very small we had like 30 guests. I wouldn't have had it any other way, it was amazing.

[@oliverbennett8501]

My mum used to keep a present box in her wardrobe when my sisters and I were kids. She'd pull things out of them to wrap when we got invited to birthday parties and such. I suspect they were possibly bought when they were on special. But it worked - especially since we weren't always great at giving notice for when gifts were needed 😂 Just lil toy things that most kids would like

[@melodylienert3963]

Dang, I wish I could go to one of the shows, but I am too far away. It looks like I will be rooting you on from afar!

[@zinaeberlein9987]

I love the idea of a gift box! I have a big pinterest board where I save all the things I come across which my friends and family could like, so I can look at it, when it's time to gift them something :D but having a box ready at home is great, it's the next level haha

[@ravenstormchild6491]

I also have a gift box. Random items seem to find their way into my home and sometimes I buy something thinking I could give it to X and then change my mind. I usually look them it at Christmas to see if anything would suit someone on my gift list.

[@theashwoodfaerie2]

Hearing Croatia mentioned made me laugh because I'm half Croatian 😂 and yes it is definitely a place for a destination wedding it is gorgeous. But my fiance and I are saving it for our honeymoon

[@annabrown3337]

Step away from the travel trinkets! My daughter travels and I wouldn't dare touch them even to clean them... I'm fairly sure she'd run back into a burning building for them

[@soullesscadmium30]

My parents have often given away books as gifts that we've owned for ages but it was in perfect condition so made for a good gift in a pinch

[@goshdarnsilly]

with stories like the 2nd one (spouse tried to gift husband’s souvenir) I always think… what are we missing? what happened on that trip?! still NTD but wtf

[@alex_blue5802]

You think something spicy happened and OP's wife is jealous?

[@goshdarnsilly]

@@alex_blue5802 I mean 👀 it still wouldn’t give her the right ofc. jw what’s not being shared bc it’s clearly A Thing

[@mjrasco]

We have a box of generic presents (like photo frames, candles, things we receive from charity raffles, and thank you cards). My mom started it, but I really like it.

[@minute_craft1256]

I do have something like a gift box. It's particularly useful for non-perishable gift items because sometimes, it's hard to find the exact item(s) you want close to the date(s) of the actual special day(s)/event(s). Sometimes you also find the unexpectedly suitable gift 'off-season'.

[@rainbowmeg1747]

I have a present box too!! I used to see things people I love would like and I’d get them and give them gifts at random times of the year but then find myself not sure what to get them when it comes to their birthday or Christmas so I’d often find myself embarrassed I hadn’t given them a birthday gift but I did give them gifts during the year but it was still awkward. Also I’ve kept some specific items in mine much longer than 6 months- I’ve bought clothes that are too big for my niece and nephew and kept them a couple of years until they are the right size 😂

[@Fairysnuff91]

I was a bridesmaid for my best friend. She paid for my dress. All I had to do was show up early and be in a few more photos than other people.

[@Gwenx]

Jamie: A wedding should not be a financial burden. On your guests. Me: you could stop after burden. Haha, no i get that some people really look forward to gather the whole family and friends to a big celebration. But that said, I don't think a wedding should ruin you financially, and i unfortunately feel like SOME is kinda pushing a trend with abroad weddings, extreme esthetics and big venues, and its just not everyone who can comfortably afford that kind of thing :/ We are talking a lot about getting married, and we really want to buy a house. So we are more and more agreeing on getting a house instead of the wedding, holding a "pop in party" in the backyard and take a nice wedding holiday instead! That way we can save a lot of money, use them for something permanent and get that holiday trip after

[@Claudithuz]

My cousin told me about her gift-box years ago but I couldn't afford to make one myself at that time. Now that I have a little more money I do get things for people when I find them and keep until a suitable time arises. If I had better taste in gifts and had better social skills I'd definately would make a gift-box for "emergencies". It's a great idea, almost up there with keeping extra toilet paper, canned food, and bottled water around.

[@thou_narsty_gremlin]

Ooof, the Chinese hand fan story hit kind of close to home. My dad lost his mum when he was quite young, and only travelled to China once: to be with her when she passed. While there, he bought a couple fans for the hot weather. They're pretty much the only physical thing left to remember his mum. The fans are way older than me, and I try to handle them as delicately and respectfully as I can now (to make up for playing with them too much when I was a kid, lol), and one of them is sitting on my desk with me right now! (❁´◡`❁) Moral of the story, one can never assume the value and meaning of a seemingly trashy/useless item to a person. Especially not to give away. Do that with your own stuff, not others', eheh 😅)

[@unichan5]

There’s a gift box at my house as well and it’s where I keep handmade as well as store-bought gifts for family. Especially with handknits, I’m happy to finish them in advance of any upcoming birthday/Christmas and I will put stuff that I find while out and about in there as well. So I guess it’s a combination of what you guys do with your box and pantry. ☺️ There’s also random things like a cat-shaped tea strainer that could be either for friends or siblings.

[@TM.BECK14]

I have a 'present box' too 😊 mine's partially because I have ADHD and time blindness so I often forget to get things in time for the proper dates. Or I see something that I think someone would like/need but it's not season for it yet. This way I always have something on hand!

[@dirano09]

I have a "gift shelf" where I keep things that I think people would like, from personal gifts to things like gift cards.

[@susanpfeiffer3644]

I have always had a present drawer. My friends have eclectic tastes that make it hard to find gifts around present-giving events. So when I see something they like (Power Puff Girls, Hello Kitty) I buy and store in the drawer!

[@_hunnybe]

I have run around the house and looked for something to gift that would look/seem new, although it has mostly if not always been unsuccessful, and a couple years ago I started a present box too! I have one for gifts that are for specific people, and another for general gifts so I don't get them mixed up 😁

[@starparodier91]

18:14 I have a present box for my best friend since she lives in another country! I’m always filling it up so I can send stuff to her every year for her birthday!

[@undefinederror40404]

The present box is a great idea! I don't have it (yet). Last year I saw something in a shop that would have been a great present, but that person's birthday was still months away. So I took a picture to remember it by and when the birthday got close I went back to that store to get it. It was no longer being sold ._.)

[@thecolorjune]

I like to keep a gift box as well! I don’t have one at the moment, but I used to have one with a bunch of skin care face-masks and chocolates which I could add to gifts to make them feel more luxurious for my friends. I did this in high school because it was hard to find time to drive to the mall each time a friend’s birthday came around (and I had at least one per month) and so I’d stock up in advance. I’d also try and personalize each gift, but I’d have to buy things way in advance (a few months) if I wanted to ensure I’d have something for the day. I was very busy and have ADHD so this helped a lot.

[@lostinmymind8147]

I often regift things I don’t really want. Since I‘m perceived as a girl, the second I turned thirteen the go to present from all of my aunts was lipsticks and cosmetic products. But I don’t use that so I just give them to friend who like cosmetics