Can Men and Women Be "Just Friends"? (Ft. Sonia Chew & Joakim Gomez) | MEN, EXPLAIN EP 3

[@dinnnosaurex]

A moment of silence for joakim in the friendzone.

[@Iendleasereit]

Nothing off with tt

[@FireFoxGaming56]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@gwenheng1493]

i rly loved this video!! i think alot of people don't talk about this but it is a real struggle for young people growing up who are trying to understand their feelings and navigate their relationships!! thank you sonia and joakim for sharing your backstory and experiences, they were really valuable and insightful :") i think joakim summed up the 3 factors very succinctly (ego, pride and respect), and i think in addition to this, there is a certain level of maturity and trust required. In a guy-girl friendship, there is definitely some level of chemistry and attraction to each other, which is why they are best friends to begin with!! Whether or not this friendship is to be taken to the next level (i.e. romantic relationship) or remain platonic is a choice. And if both parties wish to continue as friends, they should have mutual respect to not cross each other's boundaries, and maturity and trust to keep the friendship untainted by any ulterior motives or toxic emotions. You can love someone as a friend, but choose not to love them more than that! and with that comes a trust and mutual understanding in each other to not blur the lines of the relationship :")

[@melissayee6513]

when i close my eyes i can imagine myself listening to them on the radio 😂

[@kyhlnuar]

Video is useless here.

[@yeurslovingly]

Seriously I can hear these two talking forever and ever and ever.

[@kramtuen]

This episode of 20 odd minutes is not enough! We need an hour podcast, episode 2.0!!

[@siegetemplar]

u must be daft

[@Jay-ru2cw]

Yes Joakim. Pick your battles wisely is very very true!

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

MORE SONIA AND JOAKIM SERIES PLS!

[@BaoBao-ry2wu]

can Men and Women be friends? idk. but, can Sonia and Joakim be friends, or even close friends? YES. it doesn't come easy, mind you, but they made the choice to be friends. they actively choose to respect each other boundaries, that in itself made this friendship (relationship) thrive. I just got that from watching the interaction in this video. *you can have love for someone, but choose not to love them*

[@ang5491]

you can also mutually pretend that no spark has ever been lit, and continue feeding into each other trickles of sexual and romantic drive under the facade of this friendship declaration and poor levels of commitment. i wouldn't call this "platonic" at all. the gomez guy described her as "cute girl" at 2:48, and if I were him, that would be a big unintentional reveal of intent, marking the utter end of the term "platonic", or zero sexual attraction, which is my reliable threshold for platonic relationship straight opposite sexes.

[@anikaabida6019]

@@ang5491 He was being politically correct. Based on his answer, he is faking a platonic friendship. It’s just that if Sonia agreed for the relationship, clearly we know it can’t be platonic.

[@siu-longleejune748]

@@anikaabida6019 True. Guys are just waiting for an opening. Steve Harvey was in a recent controversy when he mentioned in an interview that since he got married he no longer associates with other females because men and women, who aren't related and are both somewhat attractive usually can end up having sex.

[@sleepy_dobe]

12:25 Yes, I've seen that too. And here's the amazing part. Two of the guys in that group married their respective girlfriends who were ex-girlfriends of their(the 2 guys) good guy friends. So like a group of 5-6 good friends, 2 of the girls used to date 2 of the guys (say A & B), but they didn't work out, and then Guy A started to date the other girl while Guy C dates Guy A's ex, and then the 2 couples ended up being married. And the 5-6 of them are now still good friends and hang out together.

[@itsclarityco]

🤭

[@ryanlee4772]

I feel when a man who is a close friend to a woman and they want to confess their feelings, it needs to be more normalized that the men if rejected , can still stay as friends. Its hard once someone confesses as meeting with each other can be awkward but if both the man and woman know their place and where they stand in their friendship/relationship there should be no problem.

[@lzh4950]

Think might be easier if the rejection is due to more practical reasons e.g. religious differences (especially if parents have expectations here), if your best friend is already taken when you 1st know him/her

[@_tzekin]

Definitely okay to a certain extend. If youre in a relationship, just know your limit and boundary

[@iriswongz8056]

Their chemistry!! Love this series!

[@Jay-ru2cw]

Good chemistry and vibe! Thanks Sonia and Joakim for this episode! How about talking about large age gap relationship?

[@itsclarityco]

Hi Jay, we're glad you enjoyed the episode! Thank you for your suggestion, we'll definitely keep it in mind! (:

[@heyasoniachew]

I’d definitely love to address that! Thanks for your suggestion Jay!

[@ssvegeto1610]

@@itsclarityco in fact, talk about large age gap with younger guys and older girls, the other way round has been covered till death so many times and is not uncommon at all nowadays.

[@beno94]

On the flip side from a guy's perspective, there are girls that do not react well to a guy friend confessing his feelings. This makes for a lot of "guy best friends" getting themselves stuck in that limbo. If our society matures to the point where everyone can be cool even after rejecting or getting rejected (like how Joakim explained), that will be the day whereby ambiguity of male-female friendships will disappear.

[@itsclarityco]

* Deplete all attraction and emotions * definitely requires some skill and practice 😳

[@BaoBao-ry2wu]

Normalising men and women being friends: no, it's not a phase before they become a couple; no, it's not because they couldn't become a couple; yes, they are friends because they respect each other boundaries.

[@lala86480]

Actually think that the topic "Can you be friends with you ex" would be interesting 🤣

[@phimolsuwanarat8302]

Oh yes! @soniachew

[@talaofootball]

I can listen to these two talk for days... Fan from Thailand !

[@connormcchicken5915]

they actually do, for a living

[@2snish]

Appreciate a guy like Joakim coming out and being down to earth honest about his process,Appreciate his honesty.Great topic.Kudos to the thinking caps behind the show.These are vital topics that has to be discussed for betterment of the society at large !..There are many out there going through hard times due to lack of awareness of emotions as such !

[@hc5640]

this channel is going places

[@itsclarityco]

aww thank you 💓

[@phimolsuwanarat8302]

i like this topic and thanks for being open to share it with the public :)

[@itsclarityco]

Glad you liked it! More to come in the next few episodes. Stay tuned!

[@RR-yj7yt]

'The ship has sunk'. Epic. Man it's obvious the dude still have some inner set feelings for her. You could literally see the on-off 'fishing' . And his BMT must have been rough. Poor thing.

[@elishamarie7471]

is on-off fishing, fishing for answers u mean?

[@spdjmc]

Anyone and their mother can see that he's still into Sonia and she sees him as a friend. But props to him for keeping it in check.

[@Iendleasereit]

I don't think so

[@ABC-ed8cg]

@@Iendleasereit He literally admits he still has the interest but he knows his place since Sonia isn’t interested in him and has dated someone else.

[@lancesoza3541]

There should be a counter on how many times Joakim mentioned “respect”

[@medrict]

the question is, does the thoughts of dating one another still pop up? and what does the two of them think.

[@voutoo7899]

I am sure all kind of thoughts pop up. We are human after all.

[@azlifmohamed8804]

The guy is still clearly is love! Discipline keeps them as friends.

[@voutoo7899]

True

[@winshah05]

OMG love love love this episode!!! just really nicely encapsulated point of views from Sonia & Joakim ❤️

[@itsclarityco]

Thank you Erwin! We love their dynamic on set as well!

[@trevorthai1685]

Wew it’s the 987FM power duo!! Great conversation and advice guys :)

[@jeffer8762]

Pretty one are attraction, not so chio one from start is friend zoned :) short and sweet answer

[@redwings1974]

Is good to have best friends from opp sex. Can always learn/ understand from each other views. Most important thing is have respect of each other.

[@sleepy_dobe]

23:37 "Basket".......ROFL......that's what I always say too when these kind of things happen.....

[@hadotonini1189]

I think it depends on the individual. Most guys that I'm friends with will automatically think I'm into them or they have a crush on me. Only 1 or 2 male friends keep our relationship as friends; no crush or whatever.

[@niroku8923]

this is like hearing a radio show instead

[@connormcchicken5915]

not complaining

[@whitecranelens]

Just discovered this channel with my wife (hope we're not too late) and we are loving it! Love the episodes and contents. Keep it coming!! ☺👍🏻💯

[@blackrobi84]

We see in others what we see in ourselves.

[@BareInterior]

Can men & women be “best friends”? Yes, however, there must be a deeper agreement individually & mutually between the 2 parties. In my experience I have 2 female best friends for coming 8 yrs & 5 yrs now and I remember us having a conversation 7 yrs ago on where our friendship is heading towards to have an understanding that we will remain as best friends. I will cut short and say best friends with the opposite gender is not for everyone as i have experienced many of my female friends having so called male best friends which one fine day where that so called male best friend start to confess to her & she comes telling me you were right about him. So from this it really boils down to both parties individually; has the situation been conversed clearly to each other & individually accepted that this female is now my best friend and not someone you are keeping close by as a prey to pounce on when she is available. I think that the friendship must be conversed clearly & both parties have to come to a individual acceptance of the friendship. That is important; otherwise there is going to be complications.

[@sleepy_dobe]

14:08 I think most guys who have platonic friendships with a girl will have experienced such a thing at least once in their life. I've also dated a girl who had a problem with my close female friend whom I share a platonic friendship with.

[@yappsean4476]

facts

[@itsclarityco]

Let us know how you've dealt with it!

[@sleepy_dobe]

@@itsclarityco Well, I did tell my friend about it and I'm very thankful that she was totally understanding about it. So when all of us hung out together, she and I would just greet each other like typical Asian people, just hi, no touch. Cos for the two of us, we'd usually greet each other with a hug and pecks on the cheeks, and we call each other "dear", instead of by our names. Ultimately, that's probably the most that we, the "unaffected" partner can do because much of the onus is on the "insecure" partner to deal with their issue, whichever it may be. Whether it's a lack of self-assurance, or a past betrayal of trust or something else. We need to be understanding, give them the space and support, and avoid situations that might cause them distress until some point in time when they've managed to overcome whatever it is that's making them feel insecure with us and our platonic friend. But, that gf and I did eventually go our separate ways though it wasn't because of her issue with my close friend. And I agree with Joakim that a lot of these stem from past issues that they've experienced and in my ex's case, she was once betrayed by a bf who cheated on her with his good friend so when she saw the emotional intimacy I shared with my friend, it brought back bad memories for her.

[@itsclarityco]

We're sorry to hear that it didn't work out. But we're sure that the step you took with your close female friend could be a good point of reference for some of our friends who are facing a similar situation. Thanks for sharing your experience @Sleepy Dobe!

[@Jay-ru2cw]

Damn! I rewatch this episode and really hope there is an episode on whether can you be friends with your ex!!! Hahhaha! Love the chemistry and definitely love how both of you are so open! Thank you for the entertainment again !

[@medrict]

What a nice friendship they both have. The kind that many wish they had.

[@tnavin1065]

moment of silence for our fallen bro :(

[@yapolloable]

Fallen sis*

[@chirpnun]

well put guys! LOVE YOU JO

[@Fujiwara.Takumi1]

we all know why Sonia knew Joakim was the guest soooo. Great episode anyways, Joakim speaks what many guys want to relay. Its just how the ladies understand and interpret the point

[@ang5491]

My answer, depends on the girl, do I have the slightest hint of sexual or romantic intentions at any point in time? if the answer is yes, the platonic relationship crumbles, if no, it goes on. This gomez guy, for the record on 2:48 described her as "cute girl". that's a no no for me, platonic relationship fails, i'd either stay as far away as possible from her, or i attempt to court her. "cute girl" in my dictionary is an object of intimacy, wouldn't happen any other way.

[@hdf5530]

Hmm, seems like respect and boundaries are set because the other side doesn't reciprocate. He has put a stop to what he feels because the circumstances ask for it, however if the gates are lifted, all the emotions will come back. Hence I think this video particularly shows men and women CANNOT be platonic.

[@theronkong]

can still see they have mutual feelings for each other 😂

[@justrandomotaku]

the comment section is not it LMAO as long as you draw your boundaries well, communicate with your partner on their boundaries (what youre not comfortable with etc) then its literally not hard to maintain friends... especially if the friend has their own long term partner as well.

[@alyssaxiao2303]

0:01 poor Sonia get scared about Joakim 😂😂😂😂

[@Mxchafrapp]

Can I just say for a 33 Year Old, Joakim is very attractive! 🥺🥰

[@yihrae827]

I've been in both positions of the plaintiff and the defendant when it comes to having best friends of the opposite gender. I think it's fair to say it's not something that's easy to grapple with, but I think it's ultimately a test of will, conviction and perhaps most importantly, a hint of apathy. I think it’s fair to say in most cases you can’t and shouldn’t expect your partner to give up their best friend of their opposite gender during a relationship. And it’s also fair to say there are certain obvious boundaries partners should establish with their respective bestfriends should insecurity arise. But I think the breaching of said boundaries is really the most problematic part. That’s when I think it’s fair to say the partner with the best friend is at fault. But if the accuser fails to keep their emotions in check despite the partner ensuring they stay within the establish boundaries, then I think we can say here the accuser is at fault. But being honest usually both parties are at fault, and these sorta things are in a lot of cases either never resolved, or resolved after durations spanning from months to years, either because both sides have just grown numb to the problem or they have developed a deep level of trust in with the best friend. It’s not easy either way! But to answer the question, can men and woman be just friends! Yes, they definitely can. But I think to achieve this a very firm/apathetic moral stance is required!

[@xalch]

Great episode and agreed with Joakim's views!

[@cre8tiveflair738]

Sorry. Can I know where Sonia’s outfit from? Thanks.

[@heyasoniachew]

Hi my top is from Zara and the skirt is from I AM GIA (online) 🤣

[@cre8tiveflair738]

@@heyasoniachew 🙏🏻

[@beeg3388]

May i ask .. how you feel if your husband/wife close to his/her colleague?

[@icysnow57cold64]

I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone. Women tend to be more emotional, more caring, more empathic, more compassionate, more affectionate, more loyal, more nurturing, more understanding, more sympathetic, more sensitive, more kind-hearted, more peaceful, more calmer, more gentle, more expressive, more intuitive, and more outward than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can’t with men. Men, on the other hand, are not that emotional, and thus can’t bond with other men in a special way. Women are more comfortable being around with other women than they are with men. They have a type of bond that usually men with women won’t really have, or with men and men. Also, girls that are friends touch each other in ways that guys just don’t.

[@ABC-ed8cg]

In other words, joakim got friendzoned. He declared that he still has interest for her but she’s dating someone else & he knows his place and doesn’t want to spoil their friendship. I think Joakim is more like a little boy kind of character. Sonia is very mature in her thinking and very sassy so she’d definitely prefer someone who’s manlier & with more character.

[@ksy6177]

Can u look manlier but behave like little boy actually?

[@jacksidhatra4802]

Love this episode! If only having 2 spouses isn’t a crime.. 😂😂

[@itsclarityco]

😳 *cues Complicated Love Song*

[@SY-xo8ld]

Love this podcast.

[@JLDREAMS]

It's easier to be platonic friends if it developed when both were kids/teenagers.

[@Lu5ck]

Of course "can" be friends but best friend? That possibility is very very low. Afterall, there is a saying best partner is also the best friend.

[@NaRcOsIs84]

Sonia chew is so cheeky! No wonder men blush with her around haha!

[@myvisualdiares]

Aw I love this friendship!

[@lukeTJQ]

"half a cancer half a leo" rip

[@tabithachee1020]

i fully agree with Joakim's stand on platonic friendship fully, i respect the friendship and would not want to overstep any boundaries over a very close friend.

[@yixunnnn]

for guy/girl bff, either one of em is gay/dont treat other as opposite sex, or there is definitely attraction at least in one direction

[@melaniekoh]

ENJOYED this vid!! omg miss yALLLLL :'(

[@oska8941]

Yes of course why not ?

[@sabrinalim474]

WOOHOOO!! LOVE LOVE SONIA ❤️❤️ n Joakim!!

[@Sam-by3kk]

The answer is simple: 99% of the time no, 1% of the time yes. Super rare when it happens, and nice when it does - but majority of the time people either don't have the maturity to have these platonic friendships, or are simply in denial that if given the opportunity for sex that really, that they would take it.

[@ivanlimzg]

"Deplete attraction"😆

[@Jejdjejbfjf]

Joakim sounds like he could potentially be that "guy best friend" hahaha. He sounds like he is trying hard to put a lid on his emotions, with occasional subtle signs of flirting like describing Sonia as a "cute girl", or that "I love Sonia very much". I hope they keep their boundaries clear given that Sonia has a partner now..

[@AznBoi871]

lol ok auntie no worries

[@marcuskwek4500]

I got a vibe too!

[@the_lobster]

u cappin haha

[@ivanlimzg]

Of cos it had to be Joakim

[@eleanorteh8441]

It sounds like timing has just never been right for these two … such is life

[@arsenal_84]

Don't recall in HWZ forum saying you guys are a couple. I mean both of you have clearly stated many times on pod casts or talk shows that you are only friends.

[@Nahduge]

Surprised at the maturity of Joakim. Never liked his face, but respect the way he speaks.

[@abcdefu2035]

u got featured on his ig congarts

[@siegetemplar]

that fella going hiking or what lmao

[@kiwanaboy]

can lah. don't think too much. go with the flow.

[@blueyMoon]

It exist for Sonia and Joakim but based on my experience, there is no friendship between man and woman. I used to have 1 or 2 guy best friends but they end up liking me romantically. And I'm pretty insecure person so my other half cannot have a girl best friend.

[@shanchanca]

'Basket' haha lol

[@robintang7304]

Magical chemistry but remain as platonic relationship! Possible? How about both are married and continues with opposite sex relationship close friends!? Possible. Anything and everything is possible, is no way you can trust yourself fully 100%, even is possible, can’t trust the other party. The consequences are not Desirable. So why get yourself into this unnecessary headache, frankly is simply not worth it. Just my 2 cents worth, don’t get work up over my posting, again is not worth it.

[@kareliansocialdemocrat]

Im a guy and I basically never hang out with a girl if Im not interested in her romantically

[@hwhw8155]

Joakim is so charismatic

[@cheny6489]

the straight simple answer is NO. (close friends)

[@joeljohahnen6]

Jennifer Anniston and David S

[@urgoodfriend7510]

are we on 98.7?!

[@bleakrainbow8140]

why are many of the comments stating that they still like each other? having chemistry and love for each other does not equate to romantically liking each other. soulmates exist not only in the romantic sense but in a friendship sense and i can see this clearly in this whole 24 minutes of interaction between them.

[@dearnazj]

Hahaha you both are so cute!

[@Spoohkybooh666]

they should do chat sessions for paranormal would be interesting

[@robintang7304]

Good luck 🤞

[@interludemediasg]

Aye Joakim’s an INFJ!! Hit me up!! 👊🏼

[@marvinfoo4838]

He is more like esfp

[@justsomepandawithinternet]

@@marvinfoo4838 bro u r not him I'm sure he can type himself better

[@lazytofat]

His laughter 😂

[@ABC-ed8cg]

For me, i don’t go out with any guy I don’t have feelings for. Most of the times, I just chat with female & male friends over WhatsApp. I find it weird that ppl hang out with friends of opp gender esp if they’re already attached. They may like their guy friend but don’t wanna to admit too. There should be clear boundaries if not someone is gonna get hurt.

[@tejashirah7429]

Joakim: Putting in your chew emotions

[@azakisma.1.mo_ago]

Of course you can..as long they dont show things that are not supposed to be shown too much.

[@inconceivableningja8111]

Friend. Zoned.

[@yapolloable]

Joakim apple watch band, damn bro good fashion sense.

[@sharonslpy]

you know people are best friends when they call each other bitches, that's right! Joakim's ex girlfriends sounds like they were not mature ladies lol

[@harry.222]

Can men and women be "just friends"? My answer is "yes". In my opinion, love is love. And kindness is everywhere. And marriage is not only for heterosexual couple. I know everyone has different kinds of views, so be ready to say what you think 🤗

[@edwinsingha7398]

does personal opinions define objective reality and human biology?

[@commander7061]

Knocked up would have been a very bad first date movie..

[@wannerbrospm6718]

this whole episode seems like pure cope. im sorry u guys have feelings for each other

[@larrychong3071]

This type Channel should get more sub. Come on guys.

[@kareliansocialdemocrat]

When a girl says "we're just friends", I'll stop talking to her and I'll not initiate contact

[@beara1139]

orh hor sonia say f word 🤬😂

[@yuy2375]

the uglier the more platonic

[@voutoo7899]

That’s so bad haha

[@zhenxiong5389]

"don't want to spoil the friendship" sounds like there is some intention there may be something beyond friendship. There is the a vibe that if Sonia were to say the next day "do you want to date?" the answer will be a "yes". No really platonic I feel.

[@Zoids-bf6op]

I would say yes. But sadly for me most of the time the girl will distance herself cause she cant. :/