Signs of Enabling Addicts

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Do you or someone you know struggle with a loved one's addiction? Do you ever wonder what are the right things to do or not to do to help an addict? Did you know that the loved ones often contribute to keeping the person addicted even though they want the opposite? Would you like to know what actions are loving ways to help an addict get sober?
Watch this interview with Addictions Therapist Candace Plattor who reveals the signs that someone is in an enabler pattern. There is hope for the addict and recovery has greatest chances when it starts with the enabler.

[@karinlarsen2608]

The 12-step program helped me know. If I help someone do what they should be able to do for themselves, I help them grow weaker not stronger.

[@OlympiaSophie]

Enabling someone even though it can be done out of love, can just ricochet back to you can have detrimental effects. Thanks for sharing!

[@roymcampbell5155]

Amazing lady. Grateful for all that she does.

[@melanietoth1376]

My love of 8 years relapsed. I knew nothing of drugs. I lost my home, my car, my degree trying to help him. I gave everything I could. It took three years but I finally learned how not to enable. He broke down my bedroom door after we were separated but I'd let him stay with me....he broke down my door for $. Its been a year....the bedroom door is still a mess...he isn't allowed here and I dont give him $. The door is a reminder to me. He was, for eight years, the sensible and rational one, I trusted him completely. It was so hard to realize how much he'd changed and that I couldn't help if he wouldn't help himself. Eight years he was my solid partner, 3 years he lost his mind and I went down with him. I'm rebuilding from the destruction, he lives two blocks away, hes still using and hes a dealer. I'm still a friend but we dont talk. There's nothing to talk about as long as hes not clean and he doesn't want me to see the way he is living right now.

[@ksmithkatcarving]

u need to move he can still see an hes fine with that

[@lindabonomi7274]

Just read this, I hope in early 2022 things have improved for you. It's so hard, people have NO idea what you go through.

[@karinlarsen2608]

Everyone who has loved an addict knows exactly what you've been through. I'm so sorry the scars Run Deep

[@VermontGrammy]

I.Am.An.Enabler

[@laststop3h]

I am dating a woman who has two brothers with this issue. Her family, while loving and wonderful people, go out of their way to give them money when they cant pay their bills or wont go to work. It drives me crazy because they then come to us for money.

[@blbrz8]

My friend’s mom is the biggest enabler. She keeps allowing my unemployed addict friend to live there rent free bc my friend keeps the mom company. The mom has been single for almost 30 years and would be lonely without the addict. It is horrible ...

[@dtorres1104]

Co dependent relationship

[@urvashipatel5214]

My father was an alcoholic and theny mom became one yrs later after going thru hell with my dad...then she fell off 4 th floor n died. My father continued and died in 2014 meanwhile i was in a relationship with an alcoholic and last 6 yrs have been hell i cleaned up after him and kept the calm in the house today he goes to his family for a holiday to his family... meanwhile i change locks and get my life back in order.

[@wallabing]

My brothers girlfriend was his enabler, and she was extremely manipulative one. She was able to turn my entire family against me. I had no choice but to break all contact with my family 6 years ago. I had to because they were constantly calling me with death threats. It was that bad.

[@theresalogan5294]

Thank you. This talk has helped me.

[@davidforbregd2318]

Great video!!!

[@noelscarff9979]

How do you get someone out of your house who does not want to follow your rules

[@CandacePlattor]

Do something like packing up their stuff and put it outside, and change your locks beforehand. If they make a ruckus, call the police to come get them.

[@jobowers8706]

i have yet to find someone to help me with a son who is an addict. I know I have enabled him to continue his behavior. He has two very young children. Don't see him seeking out help. I see him using avenues that claim to help but are avenues to continue to use.

[@ascend2luv]

Tough love

[@jonathanfalconer6456]

I have ppl in my life that are using I won’t give money or be around it but I wouldn’t let them sleep on the streets or go hungry when they want a meal or a place to sleep

[@rebeccaosullivan8867]

Yes, they will find a 'few' enablers, like the rest of the family. And those of us not 'enabling' are ostracized. Try to tell one of the enablers what they are doing and 'WHAM'!!! You're the evil one!!!!

[@garynaccarato4606]

I was never a drug addict or an alcoholic but I was in a situation in which I had a drink of alcohol at someone's house who I and they actually told me something along the lines of "You can drink as much as you want" and when I heard this I said to myself that telling your company that they can drink however much they want is a very stupid thing to say to someone and if I was someone who actually had a bad history with alcohol that would definantly be considered enabling but either way that person saying what they said was still stupid.

[@hilaryjuliecoxon5434]

My father was a violent alcoholic,we had no relationship at all because i couldnt forgive his actions.

[@adrianlopez9371]

As someone diagnosed with cannabis use disorder, I get mix feelings about these topics

[@CandacePlattor]

Understandable. It's kind of a "can't live with it, can't live without it." But the quality of your life with it will be very different from the quality of your life without it.

[@sol303]

Through addiction demons are entered to the soul the more addicted you get the more the demon consumes your soul until there is nothing left ,I have compassion for the addict but not for the demon I don't fear death I think is a way to kill the demon ,life is war fighting addiction is war don't give up until you have too

[@pamcornelius9122]

That’s exactly why they used to refer to it as “the demon alcohol.”

[@sharonw2008]

You don't even have to give them money. My mum literally sends down a weeks shopping for my sister and her kids. The kids are the ones losing out because they're mum is off her head but sure they're still getting fed so nobody cares 😡

[@geogeo5238]

Why "Him" what is its a "Her"?

[@monicapyle]

Then simply replace the "him" with "her". Addiction doesn't discriminate. She simply used the male pronoun. If the addict in your life is a female, the lecture she just gave applies the same.

[@debbicallander4787]

Nar Anon family groups

[@shirleytorres339]

How is it better to have them in the streets l?? I know someone who did that and they overdosed on the streets and died!

[@CandacePlattor]

Hi Shirley - unfortunately there wil be some who overdose, whether on the street or using in their bedrooms. But many people who get a taste of what it's like to live on the street decide that isn't the life they want and that becomes a bottom for them to finally decide to be serious about recovery.

[@user-gj8pj1io8y]

You can't control what they do in the house or on the streets, they make the choice. I know, my son is an addict.

[@ginapearce5421]

But wth do you do ?! Just not call and try to get help ? She's surely Not gonna

[@ningningprecious943]

BEING SUPPORTIVE AND ENCOURAGING IS NEEDED AT LEAST

[@gabrielle2dream559]

Well, the addict is not thinking clearly, sometimes they need their family to be strong for them and guide them in the right direction

[@0oohnegative]

no. this is beyond unhelpful. you can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink. NO ONE is going to get better until THEY want to. it isnt about the family. it is about THEM.

[@auto-tech-tronics-divtelam8468]

Can an educated sick society with PHD psychobabble fill a spiritual void in someone?

[@LostLakeLass]

Useless info

[@Ingrid0410]

I don’t think an addict is thinking clearly enough to be searching the internet for rehabs. Nothing wrong with a loved one finding a place and taking them there. I don’t believe in letting them fend for themselves always. They need help! Sometimes it’s better to buy them a motel than sleeping in the park. This channel should be tips not trying to toot your own horn Ms. Platter.

[@0oohnegative]

they need help but they dont want it! you are forcing it on them by calling for them. are they illiterate or inept? can they not use the internet? this is just not true. please look at yourself. that addict needs to experience the true consequences in their life from the drug use.

[@berthayellowfinch5471]

Oh please. Until YOU come up with the solution to this dope problem THAT IS KILLING OUR LOVED ONES, kindly stop vomiting on those families. What you are doing is BLAMING THE FAMILIES. Unless that family supplied the dope, THEY ARE NOT ENABLING. Quack.

[@jojobean9260]

bertha yellowfinch Go take your drugs you obvious addict

[@berthayellowfinch5471]

No jojo, I am NOT one of you addicted scumbags.

[@jojobean9260]

bertha yellowfinch lol I'm not an addict you old farts bag , I don't even smoke Now go get a job you low life

[@berthayellowfinch5471]

jojo, I have a job. :) And it's not dealing dope or spewing psycho babble -- like YOU.

[@berthayellowfinch5471]

jojo, my first major was -- psy. ROFL!! I'm going to bet YOU wallow in so called "sociology". Sorry lowlife, but your psycho babble won't work on me -- oh and by the way, the only place it does work is cementing addicts to their addictions. Oopsie.