Change your relationship patterns, even if you're a "narcissist" or a "codependent"

[@angelaonly7983]

One of Sara’s (clusterbmilkshake) videos referred me to you! New sub🤗 I’m still struggling to completely separate from a man who has beaten me severely 2 times, & has a full gamete of cluster b traits…We’re going on around 3 years together, he first beat me about a year & a half into it, & my own mental health symptomology has been exacerbated over time. At this point I’m not sure where his abuse of me ends, & my bad reactions begin. I have children who are in my custody full time, & while he & I don’t live together, this unhealthy dynamic can’t help but hurt them. I don’t know what to do, can you help me?

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you for commenting and I’m glad you’re here. I hope you find my videos helpful. You’re also welcome to check out my website for other resources including individual therapy, coaching and groups that I’m planning to run imminently if any of those would be helpful to you: www.ruthannharpur.co.uk

[@religiohominilupus5259]

Thanks again Dr. Ruth! Will have to listen to this a couple times and let it sink in to see what exactly I can relate to. 🤯

[@drruthannharpur]

Thanks Lupus - would love to hear your thoughts on this one and what's relatable or not!

[@religiohominilupus5259]

@@drruthannharpur I'm also really curious to see how my defense mechanisms (whatever they are) will react. Can't quite explain it, but I think that while watching your vid, I noticed some "walls" going up. Let's see how it goes. Lol.

[@user-jw1bl4hq9j]

This usually means you have to do the crappy things your narc wants ….not a good idea at all .

[@peacefulpath222]

What if you can’t really recall your childhood to identify your patterns & core beliefs so you can work on them?

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you for commenting. This is not at all unusual. You can still identify core patterns and beliefs and you can have a felt sense of what you went through that created them, even if you cannot recall specific events. A good therapist would be able to support someone with this. I hope that helps.