Charging £1000 For Water made Me A Millionaire! Perfectly Balanced Tavern Tycoon

[@thespiffingbrit]

*You have forfeited your hydration privileges...* - K.reeves

[@BananaDragonLord]

First he takes our breath away, and now water as well? When will this madman's tyranny end?

[@matsroscam]

Could you combo this with using an event?

[@otter666]

Pretty sad they didn't sell tea

[@Ragetiger1]

Next time, Thief, steal the water barrel. I don't like beer. Without water, he cannot make his Yorkshire Tea.

[@blunderingfool]

Fun fact, there's an entirely different game called Tavern Tycoon. Hopefully no one gets confused.

[@mateuszwisniewska1848]

One click is one war crime Spifing brit : Today we are using auto clicker

[@AxxLAfriku]

NO, NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME! why should i waste my time at school? i am super famous on youtube. tell me, dear mate

[@Furzkampfbomber]

So it's pretty much the introduction of industrialized warfare all over again.

[@diegoaguilar1954]

Just report @@AxxLAfriku , this guy still spams on this date, why?

[@trulyinfamous]

@@diegoaguilar1954 report their actual channel

[@idiotgaming6376]

@@diegoaguilar1954 honestly thought he got

[@TheC0oky]

"Came for the 2 Gold Water. Stayed for the 9000+ Gold Water - 10/10"

[@M.U.I.Wukong]

It's over 9,000!!

[@EmeraldEyesEsoteric]

The best tavern master is the Church actually... They'll serve you tiny amounts of Communion wine every now and then and all it will cost you is YOUR SOUL.

[@fabiotiburzi]

This could be a steam review

[@greyferret26]

I love how this maze looks like straight up from "Orcs Must Die", but instead of "Orcs" its "Customers" and instead of "Die" its "Drink".

[@fr-joey764]

So it is not orcs must die

[@greyferret26]

@@fr-joey764 It's the details, the core mechanic of gathering them in a long coridor is quite similar :P

[@fr-joey764]

@@greyferret26 Was trolling ~

[@bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877]

Customers must drink

[@KuroDCupu]

Soo... "Customers Must Drink"?

[@DavisCentis]

This ad is a paid sponsorship for Bargain Booze: "I greatly enjoyed the water at Bargain Booze. The owner is a very pleasant man who offered to cut my bill in half if I wrote this. The prices are exciting. Booze is readily available, and only 1 gold more than the water, which was priced to move. I will surely frequent this establishment, with its record-holding number of telescopes, again."

[@rewto5131]

The water price goes from: "I think I got this from a horse trough" to "this is the VERY same water that Aphrodite used to bathe" Lemonade: "this is probably just pee in a keg" to "the fruits of the garden of Eden were used to make this" Mead: "I think it's something that looks like mead" to "the honey was from the first bee hive ever created" Beer: *bartender literally peeing in the keg* to *Athena peed in the keg* Wine: "grapes that fell off the garbage wagon" to "grapes from the world tree"

[@scarjaisero4716]

Dude your comment made me laugh to death. Awesome job

[@bensoncheung2801]

69th 👍 Nice.

[@rewto5131]

@@scarjaisero4716 😁

[@enjoythestruggle]

I'd better not show you where the lemonade is made...

[@Irreverent_Radiation]

Sips beer intensely

[@BearWaifuAudios]

The last time I saw a game like this, the drinks were free but the restrooms were 500 gold. 5 stars, would visit again!

[@greenbirdmusic7495]

ah, yes the strategy where you increase the restroom price to 500 gold while they use them so they HAVE to pay the full price different game, but funny strat

[@Kruciate]

@@greenbirdmusic7495 "a game like this"

[@LifesGuardian]

Spiff: We'll be selling water for 10,000g Nestle: Write that down, write that down!

[@Deathbrecht]

And, don't forget, increase the price "slightly". 😇😅🙄

[@huanson7849]

@@Deathbrecht common inflation

[@huuweee]

That thiefs commitment is legendary. Not just that he decided to steal a whole Barrel full of stuff al by his own but that he entered the tavern, walked all the way to the sweet loot of his desire and still grabs the damn thing and carry it out of there wihtout even drop it down once. Legends say his strength stats are so damn high that he may even could beat Reanu keeves in a one on one battle.

[@FromNothingComesNothing]

Having forced to watch the thief's long cutscene was like the game's payback for breaking it lol

[@proYEEThean]

Ah I see! A classic choice from the Nestle playbook.

[@somethingisntsomething7936]

Advanced humor

[@anthonybottigliero8336]

Nestle, one of the most evil corporations in human history.

[@kylesmallwood1763]

“Hey, there’s a bar that’s selling water for $80” “What?! No way! That’s criminal!” “Yeah man, I know, go and see!” *goes to tavern and buys water to see, complains about lineup the entire time, still pays $80 for water.

[@lasarousi]

Welcome to Starbucks entire business scheme

[@szilardladocki5863]

Oh no they figured it out!! Our master plan is ruined.

[@PlebNC]

The sunk cost fallacy school of customer service.

[@PlebNC]

The sunk cost fallacy school of customer service.

[@Flotube444]

Soooo, DIsneyLand?

[@ccoder4953]

5/5 stars. Bargain Booze is amazing. I just can't believe the prices! The ambience is just indescribable. I love having an entire army's worth of armor stands watching me drink. And those telescopes lining the hallways are just amazing. You can't really use them to look at anything, but there's just something about them that makes the whole place so appealing.

[@tylerwood8710]

"I went to Bargin Booze for some bargain booze, and at first, I was skeptical, but the water is totally worth 10,000 gold. So clear. And wet. And watery. I'm telling all of my friends! Five stars."

[@kingakg4198]

I love how easily Spiff can entertain himself with Dad jokes

[@MrDUneven]

"English language is perfectly balanced with no exploits"

[@ShockingPikachu]

He’s the internet’s rich uncle

[@Aqueox]

@@ShockingPikachu He's either that or the son of the Englishman from Tropico.

[@DestructivelyPhased]

“No one wants to buy alcohol at stupidly exorbitant prices” Looks at Londoners…

[@valentinmitterbauer4196]

Munich Oktoberfest be like "Yea, one seat at the tent is €100/hour, one Mass (1 litre) of beer is €14, half a rotisserie chicken is €30, nice to see you there."

[@Flotube444]

Or Scandinavians

[@questionmaker5666]

Londoners don't want to either, only bankers and Russian oligarchs want to pay those prices.

[@stevenn1940]

I work at a bar in an airport. They do, can, and will, though a few are unhappy about the prices. $13 for a draft beer, and $21 for a double shot.

[@Matt10670]

Waiter: One glass of water? That'll be 10,000 gold. Mansa Musa: Sounds reasonable.

[@Mustafa_AhmedPGH]

*wheeeze*

[@jonerikson5925]

Water is free! Spiff: you thought wrong

[@jmtrad1906]

Nestle agrees

[@Twincobra13]

Bargain Booze Review: I heard about the incredible prestige of the pub, so I stopped inside. The trip to the bar was lengthy, and I was thinking that I'd be there all knight long. Wasn't quite as wonderful as the walking through the Bude tunnel (honestly, what can compare?), but then I finally turned a corner, and was greeted by many, many telescopes - things were looking up! So I sat down, having to share my table with complete strangers, waved my hand in the air, without look at or interacting with the bar staff and within mere moments, the server showed up with my drink of choice and all my problems melted away. For example, I no longer had to pay my house insurance, as I had to put up the deed to my house, to help pay for my drink. Great establishment, would recommend. (Just don't forget to first sell your family into slavery to pay for the drink!)

[@TorvusVulpes]

I love seeing what horrendous mayhem you cause in games. The thief coming in was extra hilarious, cuz just the agony was pure bliss. Great vid as always.

[@Zorgdub]

I'm disappointed he didn't trap anyone in the toilets to ransom them. That's an even funnier exploit.

[@hquest]

Alternate title: Selling Belle Delphine's bath water to her viewers.

[@710wizard]

Ah yes. Another timeless classic by Sir Spiff featuring reanu keeves himself!

[@tomisabum]

Spiffing Brit explains the history of the bottled water industry.

[@24magiccarrot]

It explains the history of every industry, all resources come from free natural resources that someone has claimed to own.

[@aformofmatter8913]

​@@24magiccarrot Ah, but value comes not from the resources themselves, but from the workers! An iron ore deposit is useless unless someone mines the iron. Then you need someone to purify it. An iron bar alone is functionally useless too, so you need to hire a blacksmith to realize its potential. But the miners need pickaxes. Pickaxes have value because someone had to make them, someone had to extract the materials used to make them, & someone had to transport them to your miners. Someone had to teach the blacksmith their trade. Someone has to grow the crops that someone else must turn to flour that someone else must bake into the bread that feeds them all. And all of those people were raised by parents who spent years providing for their children until they were old enough to work. A single iron axehead has, on aggregate, millions of human-hours of work put into it, & most of the workers who contributed to it will never even know it existed. The person who picked the cotton in the pillowcase that allowed the parent of the truck driver that transported the ore to the foundry get a good night's sleep helped make that axe. tl;dr This is the Labour Theory of Value. People's time is inherently valuable because we only have so much of it, so the things we make are valuable because we chose to make them instead of doing other things.

[@24magiccarrot]

@@aformofmatter8913 Ah but all those wages you think are needing paid, the same people that are paying the wages also own the land that those peoples houses are built on and own most of the shops where they'd buy their food. So the wages the workers think they are getting ends up just getting paid back to the establishment that stole the land in the first place and the workers end up no better than they were prior cause even slaves would need somewhere to sleep and something to eat. It's called the money trick as outlined by Robert Tressel's "Ragged Trousered Philanthropist".

[@kariolm2579]

So much prestige that you sell water at ripoff price and still be full every day. I think Spiff just made a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

[@DrVillainous]

Nah, it's clearly a movie theater.

[@haka-katyt7439]

@@DrVillainous nah. Nestle

[@bangormc3rd562]

Spiff: I scam people by massively overcharging for drinks. Fast food chains: Amateur.

[@josephholliday9302]

Came for the price-gouging, stayed for the dad jokes 😂

[@V_Drawin]

The thought of peasant carrying 10k in gold coins just to buy a cup water from the freshest of taps of spiffs bar. Quite hilarious

[@rokushou]

This seems to be a fairly common exploit in tycoon/management games. At some point the AI commits to a purchase and if you can change the price between then and the time of purchase, you can make a ridiculous amount of money.

[@samuelfreeman2452]

I remember my first tycoon game "Lemonade Stand" for the Apple II-e. Where if it was a hot day you could sell $10 cups of lemonade and be 3-y/o rich

[@joshandrew31]

I absolutely love that spiff puts markers in his videos for people who want to skip to the exploits. It's why he's one of, if not the favourite content creators of mine.

[@DocValance]

4 stars. Whilst wandering some country lanes I haven't wandered since childhood, along with my obligatory quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, I happened by this unfamiliar establishment called "Bargin Booze". "Bargin" being an obvious portmandeau of "Bar" and "Gin", although they curiously do NOT sell gin of any sort. I was intrigued and ventured inside to take a rest and a bit of refreshment before returning whence I came. The decoration inside is spectacular: suits of armor line the serpetine corridor, which reminds one of the long march to the Headmaster's office complete with disapproving professors eyeing you in judgement the entire march, and eventually they give way to the most advanced collection of optics in, dare I say, the world? The seating is peasant standard, which adds to the dark atmosphere, although the madrigals on the podium do lighten the mood considerably. Upon sitting, I ordered water, for I was assured by the other patrons that it was nigh miraculous in purity, taste and effect. The one hundred thousand gold charged for the liquid was considerable, but after returning home and upon "returning it to the source", as it were, I discovered that it was indeed miraculous, for it was as crystal clear as when it was imbibed! I cannot wait for my finances to recover so I may return to that curious pub!

[@kenny456100]

Spiff: Use hyper-inflation to make their money become useless. Me: oh yeah, it is already happening irl

[@Gochen86]

That was hilarious! The perfect Spifftopian way to utterly decimate the peasantry. That said, quick question for you, Spiff. Where I live in America, it's impossible to find Yorkshire Tea without a delivery service like Amazon, but the local stores do have Twinnings. Would you consider that an acceptable substitute?

[@tylerwood8710]

All tea is good tea.

[@anormalcorpus4804]

@@tylerwood8710 except ice teas. You what I'm talking about

[@danielcalvert3413]

Fellow American here. I ordered a bunch of yorkshire tea through British Cornershop. Took almost a month to arrive but that might have been due to it being Christmas time. Worth it for sure

[@stevenn1940]

As a fellow American, I have to say, NO, Ignore the premade stuff, it is terrible and you have been mislead. Go to adagio tea, it's high quality loose leaf tea, it's really quite good, and inexpensive (unlike anything in this video)

[@Curseius]

love how the game forces you to watch the thief walk in and go through the whole maze XD

[@XieTianXieDi888]

Congratulations! You didn’t really break the game. You just created the first medieval night club! It even has a very long line to get in, decorations, and live music!

[@pokeme5293]

A priest, a rabbi and a stripper walk into a bar. Now they're broke, the end.

[@Alex58399]

I am now the proud owner of a box of Yorkshire Tea Biscuit Brew, absolutely the GOAT of tea

[@teal_m_101]

Nestle simulator.

[@trashsombra2793]

Don't give them any ideas

[@bensoncheung2801]

111 👍

[@OntarioCommunityRoleplay]

Hmmm me watching a british man make poor people poorer . . . LIKEed, Subscribed and hit the belll lol also nice video Brit!

[@Oblithian]

Bargin Booze, was so hip and happening. It was THE place to be in Random Ville! The water there is to die for. Literally, you have to sell your life to pay for it. Loved the telescopes, armour was pretty good. 5-stars ~Jerry the Smith of Bumblington

[@foxtattoo7516]

Idea for an april fool joke, play Tavern Tycoon for a few minutes, then cut to throwing dad jokes about a guy walking into a bar

[@JathTech]

I literally sold my house to buy a taste of this amazing water. 5/5 stars, would sell my soul into crippling debt again.

[@stephan5279]

As chemist: A neutron walks into a bar. Says the barkeeper: For you, no charge... An electron walks into a bar. Asks the barkeeper: Hey, why so negative... You see, I wanted to make some chemical jokes, but it seem, all good Argon... ;)

[@pedrohenriquevieirarampim9874]

We all come for the perfect balanced games, but we stay for the top quality dad jokes.

[@RickClark58]

Inmate in debtor prison: "What are you in for mate?" Me: "I ordered a glass of water at the pub."

[@mrtalos]

Obviously Yorkshire Tea in that water, the only explanation. Also proved that the thief was particularly dastardly, he took the beer over the Tea

[@FibroFantastic]

that helicopter, plane, crisps joke is one of my first memories of my dad.

[@richardeldridge1604]

Spiff, did you go for a beer in the City for inspiration? Probably need to price gouge a bit more to truly replicate that night out in London experience 🤣

[@jackalenterprisesofohio]

A horse walks in a bar and says: Ouch.

[@brickbraker5033]

well done you have earned the achievement "Nestle"

[@18booma]

"You can't social engineer a computer." Teaman: Well actually...

[@flintyoungblood]

Bargain Booze is the best tavern ever. 5 stars. I mortgaged my home to a local baron to afford one glass of water. I am now in crippling debt and couldn't be happier.

[@gunterhunerbein9510]

[Becoming a Nesttlé pain]

[@bibby659]

Love how when zooming in on the nun she actually bought the water for 2 gold...guess she was actually cheating you out.

[@frostysmags_]

Nestle: _starts frantically taking notes_ "damn this guy's good"

[@juraiwolkov6484]

This is actually realistic when I look at the prices of Fiji water... And people buy it.

[@jasoncallow860]

As much as I'd love to be a majestic sausage I'm a cheap barstool, but love the epic videos. These videos should be on Netflix, in a show called Tweaking the nose

[@foxman105]

I went in to make a Nestle joke... 10 minutes after this thing got released and I'm already late.

[@ZombieSazza]

Went to Bargain Booze and it was AMAZING! The water tasted HEAVENLY, so heavenly I saw multiple priests and felt like I’d been blessed by the heavens! Now, I’m not sure how, but I left Bargain Booze with no gold, I assume it was to pay for my heavenly blessing. My wife wasn’t too happy about this, but I told her I’d be going back to Bargain Booze tomorrow to receive more heavenly blessings and to get some more delicious water! My wife may be divorcing me, but I’ll still be going to Bargain Booze, the prices worth it to get that heavenly blessing!!!

[@danielhale1]

I should point out this is Medieval water in the days before sanitation, meaning it's filled with parasites, raw sewage, etc from upstream. Paying a thousand gold for that is all the more a warcrime; at least get the beer which might be sanitary (though I don't know what this pub does to its beer either).

[@alexanderthegreat6682]

It's actually not quite so bad except in the larger cities, at least until the Industrial revolution

[@idontknow898]

I hate that I've watched enough Spiff videos that I can't remember if Keanu Reeves or Reanu Keeves is the real person.

[@mathiasbrio2105]

Both are

[@bradley5008]

I love how you used "committed". You have to be committed to that drink for these prices 🤣

[@djsyntic]

At that kind of price for the drinks, I'm stealing your mugs and giving them to my children as heirlooms.

[@adamthestonerful]

Oh Daddy spiff I love you. God bless the Queen and grab a cup of Yorkshire tea ☕ now that's perfectly balanced.

[@baorozzo]

The only problem with this pub is that it doesn’t serve you tea

[@TheMuteStreamer]

Ah yes, I love it when I must take out a loan from Spiff Co Bank to get a glass of water as well!

[@douglasboyle6544]

An entry maze, chock full of suits of armor, bards, $37 for a beer, AND 200+ people still crowd in every day? Spiff you've simply recreated a Medival Times restaurant.

[@alexwillerup8939]

Petition to get a dad joke segment with spiff in videos

[@alexaplays480]

Spiff wondering why everyone left at 3:15

[@C21H30O2]

"When instead you could live in an Era of hyperinflation..." could? More like WILL.

[@Xzinatyplays]

In a small game called coffee stand (I think) there was a system called rep and the higher rep you have the more people would buy regardless of what was in it or the price soooooooooo I used a trick to get my rep up quick spam one ingredient in the coffee, milk (there are three ingredients coffee, sugar, and milk you could adjust how much of each you put in their but you'd have to buy the ingredients) so I bought the milk put two cups per serving of coffe everything else stayed the same I then with my rep changed the price from $1 to $10 and people because of the rep and the A.I were forced to buy it and I made hundreds of dollars in the kind of game where you're supposed to only be able to make like $20

[@trustysource7568]

In this universe, the world's first trillionaire will be a guy recycling plastic water bottles.

[@LumiMoonCh]

The prestige was through the roof. Mr Reeves was the perfect gentleman. My family is completely financially ruined by one drink - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@biggunsmcgee113]

The Spiffing Brit is a certified hood classic

[@Chaoticgood252]

Hey Spiff, I unironically stopped drinking coffee because of your videos and I feel a lot better. Thanks.

[@TravisGarris]

Refill prices were changing. So they were only paying a lot for the first order.

[@jdottdeestv8149]

Feeling fantastic? No spiff, not at all. I'm majestic!

[@darinjost902]

"This man just bought something we can get for free, for 79 gold!" This is the business model of Goodwill.

[@x5-x417]

I have a preaty spicy exploit of morrowind for you! 1. Get 460k-470k gold (by e.g. scamming a merchant) 2. Drain your mysticism, intelligence and luck to 0. 3. In spellmaking make a spell that excedes the cost of 65535 slightly and has a chance of slightly lower than -65535 I suggest using a targeted absorb life spell. There is no was you Couleur casting such a gloriously destructive spell but wait. You can! At 65535 the cost and casting chance loop back and you end up casting a spell with cost and chance of 27/100 or even better. This can result in some... entertaining spells.

[@TheMattThompson]

My thought was: is there a limit to this map? I mean, can you make the maze so long it would take a hour or so to get to the tables? Then you could build a nice buffer... :)

[@LostWaymaker]

There is a size limit to the tavern, but by the end game, you can get 3 extra floors for some vertical height. Unfortunately, it seems that whatever price the customers enter the tavern entrance at is the one that they pay with. The maze is fun and ridiculous, but otherwise useless for the exploit. At 15:54 there were at least 8 customers still in the maze when the price was set to 10,024. These 8 people bought did not purchase the hyperinflated drinks as evident from the report at 16:34. Ending the day with 30,331 coins in drink sales, but having 8 people in the maze when the price was set doesn't add up. It's only after the price is adjusted that the customers outside will sometimes enter and pay thousands of gold for drinks.

[@matiaserrazuriz533]

Spiff, like always you crack me up, fantastic like always 😆💜... Since i am here, i would like to recomend a jazzy Game for you, the all weird "Kenshi", it sure looks like the game you enjoy (tough i don't know how much you can exploit it)

[@ST-jl2lh]

Few things, Is there actually any point to the maze with the way the price is being used to stop and start the flow of people? Priest lady was only spending 2 gold per drink. Only 2 customers appear to have bought drinks when it was at £100k Armour seems to attract more people than the telescope even with less prestige?

[@Furzkampfbomber]

Because with sweaters like Spiff, people are expecting riots breaking out more sooner than later. And in case of riots, I definitely rather go with a set of armour than with a telescope.

[@joshneto5667]

Great video .. love all ur content was busy watching ur 4 hour rim world video about chickens but quickly switched to this as a break hahah

[@MandrewTheFrog]

Nestle? Is that you?

[@Itachi_UchihaL337]

The spiffing brit breaks elden ring, and everytime he dies..... He takes a big sip of coffee!!

[@ronyavant7414]

I'm a newbie looking to start up an investment, but got no clue on how to do that .

[@olofskivarp]

I watched matrix with my brother and I called the actor Keanu reeves by accident, and I only caught it a few hours later when I thought "wait a minute.." It seems your videos are imposing on me IRL 🤣

[@-No_3-]

Wait can I drink milk tea ?

[@AdamjacobiGIA]

"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, I've broken the game." - evergreen TSB quote

[@benjaminstiles]

Come on Spif, why did you have to pick hyperinflation? As an American citizen that hits way to close to home.

[@therealdannymullen]

He heard we like coffee. He takes away our water 🤣

[@Flotube444]

Shouldn't have thrown that tea into the ocean...

[@TheZoenGaming]

*Sips Coffee Defiantly* Huh. I want to play The Bard's Tale now. "Beer, beer, beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer, tiddly, beer, beer, beer."

[@pulterbit]

Ahhh yes glorious British capitalism

[@mattparker9726]

2:58 SPIFF is sent to the PUNGEON for his crimes.

[@judechauhan6715]

Please reintroduce the "perfectly balanced game" video titles as I almost didn't click this one due to my hatred of clickbait outweighing my enjoyment of your videos. Just an honest and simple request with mild spite for a common trope mixed in. No offence intended :D

[@warisfoever4938]

Thanks to you I have a crippling addiction to Yorkshire tea. Thanks

[@LostWaymaker]

The maze is fun and ridiculous, but otherwise useless for the exploit. At 15:54 there were at least 8 customers still in the maze when the price was set to 10,024. These 8 customers did not purchase the hyperinflated drinks as evident from the report at 16:34. Ending the day with 30,331 coins in drink sales, but having 8 people in the maze when the price was set doesn't add up. It's only after the price is adjusted that the customers outside will sometimes enter and pay thousands of gold for drinks.

[@chandrakas]

This actually surprised me. I figured he’d be abusing the party or adventurer mechanics or something, haha

[@toivvarv3435]

i love that " A ghost walks into the bar and bartender says: Im sorry but we dont serve spirits."

[@sephiroth1985102514]

Just perfect, as always. I love all of your "Perfectly Balanced" videos.