Charitable Endeavors | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 216

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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert shares some phone sex tips from his private FaceTime sessions. They try out some new lip stuff that was gifted to Bert from the Philadelphia Flyers. Bert also introduces Tom to the Roast Beef Challenge. Tom and Bert then talk about their experiences at some recent basketball games and a UFC fight, before getting into their latest charitable endeavor involving Habitat for Humanity. They also get into Florida stuff, the trouble Diddy has gotten into, the It Is What It Is podcast, the drug of fame, and an update on the ongoing rivalry with the Kelce brothers!
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KZbin Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:40 - FaceTime Sexy Time
00:07:00 - Gift From The Flyers
00:09:48 - Roast Beef Challenge
00:16:58 - UFC Fight
00:22:46 - Basketball Games
00:32:01 - Charitable Endeavors
00:38:20 - Calling The Buccaneers
00:45:38 - Speaking of Florida...
00:51:56 - It Is What It Is Podcast
00:57:18 - Puff Trouble
01:01:06 - Fame Is A Drug
01:12:47 - Kelce Challenge Update
01:24:28 - Recap

[@justinmorrison2962]

I love the sponsor transition of Bert going "I'm really high" to Better Help

[@zechariahross1444]

I love it even more when Barf does the adds because he's a wrack reading an add for better help XD

[@marcsommer3699]

Stole my line!!

[@je__.]

😂

[@KreepaEvoX]

Shit was gold, Im still rolling about it lol

[@hoverluver]

Bert is a tool bag.

[@dirtmerchant16]

“I got one speed, and it’s Bert” 😂

[@pdxkristian]

Angry Charity Bert is my new favorite Bert.

[@nateg3284]

Did Tim and Bart forget they own a race car?! That should be the challenge!

[@princewilliams2061]

Challenge them to a time attack #fastesttracktime

[@MattSeltzer]

Race car for sure

[@RJ_Cormac]

Has Tim ever used his race car from Bret yet?

[@rileyhudson7451]

The football teams would never allow the Kelces to get into a race car. Go karts maybe

[@jasonzambricki1669]

The look on Tom's face when Burnt said "I'm not going to interrupt alot today" hahaha

[@preemo67]

Challenge the Kelce boys to an escape room challenge.

[@terrywayne9119]

Travis and Jason would just break down the door in the first minute

[@upperevan]

Then the wives do the escape room challenge! This is a great idea!

[@apeculiarnotion]

1. Hot dog eating contest. 2. Drag queen contest. 3. Lazer tag deathmatch in an abandoned mall. 4. Tag-team wrestling. 5. 100 Laps team race. 6. Celebrity impersonation contest. 7. Chainsaw ice sculpting contest. 8. Military style pop-up target shoot off contest. 9. Lip sync contest. (Crowd applause meter.) 10. 2-Man team costume contest. 11. Ice bath endurance contest. 12. Doubles tennis. 13. Fear Factor style competition. (Joe Rogan hosts it.) 14. Arm wrestling contest. 15. Tight rope baton battles. 16. Long distance ocean swimming contest. 17. Handcuffed together cook-off. 18. Half-court basketball shoot-off. 19. Culinary herb/spice taste identification contest. 20. Freestyle rap battle. 21. Skydiving: landing accuracy contest. 22. Which team can sit in a wooden chair longest contest. 23. Haunted mental asylum w/ all windows boarded up, which team lasts longer. (1 Flashlight; Paid Actors hunt you down.) 24. Bartering in India contest; who can haggle better. 25. Jet-ski obstacle course race; combined times. 26. 5v5 Basketball game using 3 sets of identical twins. 27. Pick up artist challenge at Dennys; whoever gets the most phone numbers in 12 hours. 28. Race through a House of Mirrors wearing helmets & GO-Pros. 29. Team Dare-off. Only legal dares. First to refuse a dare loses. 30. Bowling. 31. Ice fishing contest. 32. Inuit Ear-Pulling tournament with spouses. 33. Who gives the best sermon to a crowded black church.

[@MrNicvdb]

This show is fucking magic when Bert actually lets Tom participate.

[@abigayleottley4978]

Bert is always so confident in his push up abilities haha.

[@ryant390]

Took 216 episodes for Bert to realize he likes hearing Tom talk lol

[@WholeWhiteBaby]

It took 216 episodes for Tim to fit a complete sentence in the show...go figure...

[@Downs-Indroam]

F 'em

[@InspectahReese]

It probably won’t last very long lol

[@MrCelty4]

Tom barely talked 🎉🎉🎉

[@viewfinderthis]

😂😂😂

[@ReiviFIN]

Siberia snus is from Sweden. That white dry is 43mg/g of nicotine, so it will hit you like a hammer if you are not used to it.

[@MottoGrotto-ht1yg]

More nicotine than a whole can of Copenhagen in one pouch

[@IversonC]

Amen, swear I got so triggered when he said that's from Russia haha.

[@hahahorse200]

someone should tell them to put the snus in their upper lip and not on their fcking cheek xd

[@michaeltounsihegardt8281]

Swedis snus is going to conquer the world. We give that snus to our classmates just to see them puke in class.

[@leffeholmgren7063]

Man blir för irriterad🤣🇸🇪

[@brysonsmith2657]

I just want to thank you guys for everything y’all do! I know you get this probably everyday but days like today or any day I’m just not doing good, you guys brighten it up. Thank you guys. Much love!

[@armandocaceres1959]

I think after listening to Tom laugh at his mom saying some big words, we have a new make Tom laugh champ. That was way funnier than the koolaid ordeal.

[@norwegianballproductions]

2 Bears vs Kelces Go-Kart Race would be great!!

[@snevets3415]

I was thinking this or an actual race with the 2bears car

[@Dudeeverything]

Great idea because the bigger you are the slower your go kart will be power vs weight ratio

[@sid5156]

The challenge should be. Who donates more houses! Tom can laugh the whole time watching berts anxiety soar. Hahaha

[@sid5156]

@@Anoneemus_Noenayme yep

[@damontussing4333]

​@@Anoneemus_Noenayme *soawer

[@damontussing4333]

​@@Anoneemus_Noenayme *Anonymous_Noname

[@damontussing4333]

​@@Anoneemus_Noenayme *You're really gay for correcting grammar on YT

[@apeculiarnotion]

1. Hot dog eating contest. 2. Drag queen contest. 3. Lazer tag deathmatch in an abandoned mall. 4. Tag-team wrestling. 5. 100 Laps team race. 6. Celebrity impersonation contest. 7. Chainsaw ice sculpting contest. 8. Military style pop-up target shoot off contest. 9. Lip sync contest. (Crowd applause meter.) 10. 2-Man team costume contest. 11. Ice bath endurance contest. 12. Doubles tennis. 13. Fear Factor style competition. (Joe Rogan hosts it.) 14. Arm wrestling contest. 15. Tight rope baton battles. 16. Long distance ocean swimming contest. 17. Handcuffed together cook-off. 18. Half-court basketball shoot-off. 19. Culinary herb/spice taste identification contest. 20. Freestyle rap battle. 21. Skydiving: landing accuracy contest. 22. Which team can sit in a wooden chair longest contest. 23. Haunted mental asylum w/ all windows boarded up, which team lasts longer. (1 Flashlight; Paid Actors hunt you down.) 24. Bartering in India contest; who can haggle better. 25. Jet-ski obstacle course race; combined times. 26. 5v5 Basketball game using 3 sets of identical twins. 27. Pick up artist challenge at Dennys; whoever gets the most phone numbers in 12 hours. 28. Race through a House of Mirrors wearing helmets & GO-Pros. 29. Team Dare-off. Only legal dares. First to refuse a dare loses. 30. Bowling. 31. Ice fishing contest. 32. Inuit Ear-Pulling tournament with spouses. 33. Who gives the best sermon to a crowded black church.

[@MrGMT1992]

I feel there are enough AD reads in here now the neighborhood of homes should definitely be happening 😂 😂

[@roxannemartinez8244]

1:13:26 Hearing Tom challenge Bert about jumping must be *exactly* what his boys sound like. 😂

[@cameronasa4448]

Old school Billy Madison style competition. Obscure sports and intellectual competitions. Joe and Shane gotta do play by play. Let’s go!!!!

[@BringBackDislikesYoutube666]

Shane Torres is great

[@paulklopper5841]

didnt you hear ... they dont know joe like this :D

[@kylerenfrow1438]

Speaking of obscure sports why not disc golf.

[@taylordial9107]

There’s no chance Joe would do something fun like that

[@Relax19647]

Like the idea; but instead Matt and Shane.

[@Mikey_Brewer]

Two bears racing vs the Kelce brothers. Matching BMWs you guys would have the edge.

[@erniekuhn2061]

I genuinely enjoy when you the both of you are together. It’s just not the same with guests. ❤

[@Jskizzle]

Lmao toward the end broke back mountain. Hilarious

[@chriswilson8127]

Love how Bert was like I can't say their names but they're 2 black guys and 5 seconds he doesn't realize say Darnell's name lmfao 😅😂 Tom noticed tho you see him smile right away 😂😅

[@dustingroom7440]

Not how that went at all. 😅😂

[@D-Fens_1632]

Bert is the frat kid in Boogie Nights that they pick up in the limo who says he'd rather not say where he goes to school then says it in the next sentence when talking about his frat where he goes to school.

[@weeed4625]

Seemed like it on replay bro amost gave verbatim ​@@dustingroom7440

[@maybeaspider3456]

Good thing morons like you don't know who Donnell is or else Bert might have leaked something

[@scottdreger7137]

Thanks Bert for building 3 houses for the charity

[@korbindallas4552]

If Bert built me a house I would end every prayer "in the name of The Machine, amen. And maybe that Tom guy, too."

[@avidodd26]

yeah it's really sweet that he's building 16 houses for charity

[@andrewcampbell9mm]

Those 20 houses he going to donate will be a massive help

[@beercavetech]

The billion dollar combination condominium and commercial space is going to be fantastic, and all from the goodness of his heart

[@nathantolfree4906]

Bert not being able to handle the aussie packets it's the funniest thing ever

[@kingkillagaming]

Got 4th Row seats at Amalie Arena for the Come Together Tour!!! 🤘🤘

[@carmensperry7095]

Bert talking about how well he rides horses. How it's one thing he is the best at. Tom "Since when? I've never even heard you say the word horse" I am dying 😂😂😂

[@WholeWhiteBaby]

Bart becomes one with the horse, half horse, half Bart..sorta like a centaurd. He even smells the same, and has just recently started shitting while standing. I believe him...

[@MrDan47]

Doubles tennis. Let's put Bert's serve to the test!

[@steved3751]

came here for this haha easy call i can’t believe they didn’t think of it

[@gingercain9714]

2 bears racing fellas!! Cmon

[@WaltCo]

I love how these sets looks like they cost a hundred grand to make, are perfectly lit and feel like Disney sound stages. Makes it feel very cozy and down to earth

[@itsalive522]

I like that Bert suggested doing a Christmas song like the Pogues without realizing the Kelces just did a parody of Fairytale of New York by the Pogues like a month ago

[@user-rk9xx7uy4f]

Jason and the eagles have also put out two full Christmas albums lol

[@thestraydog]

RIP Shane MacGowan, you madman

[@MHz619]

Bert: “Holy shit you can talk?” Tom: “Yup”

[@enthuziast]

Troll account

[@MHz619]

@@enthuziast what does this even mean

[@brainsgonewild]

They say laughter adds years to your life. If I watch this pod everyday, I’ll live to be 200 😂😂

[@Robert-bl4bq]

I laughed so hard when Harrison was like "we know Bert loves the recognition"

[@Betty-Boop809]

They’ll kick your ass in singing and dancing. They can sing, too. Jason just put out his second Christmas album😂

[@eliontherun]

Toms look to the booth when Burnt said Shia Lebloof lmao

[@TendoTheDude]

I love how Bert is just now discovering thirst traps on TikTok

[@jakboicool3070]

Toms “how does it work” absolutely killed me

[@SteaminPile]

How does Burt not ALREADY have a t-shirt gun?!?

[@alanclinton4239]

the arena didn't have one cause they figured he was already packing.

[@jessejames5452]

That should be the only gun he’s allowed to have.

[@jonboatmorava9115]

I'm sure he's does it's just under all the money he should be giving to charity

[@randomradonymous]

does a hotdog cannon count? @@jessejames5452

[@sergrum1082]

I’m too poor to donate to charity, I am the charity.

[@SombraCheeks]

Yeah well Tom has a huge watch and a lot of money!!! He is so EPIC!!!

[@sebbacca4804]

Bart is that you?

[@WholeWhiteBaby]

Come on Mark, don't be stingy!

[@hueyjackie6383]

Dam rite. We use wash cloths

[@michaellopez8710]

Look at me, I’m the charity now.

[@bradleyduncan8224]

You guys have GOT to race the brothers in the cars, do fastest lap in a car around a track!

[@josephhernandez4143]

Love it!!!! This episode took me back to episode 40 with how hardi laughed.

[@dandunlap8638]

They should have played Tom’s dunking video on the Jumbotron 😂😂😂

[@Nickjwj]

lol the boys learning about snus is too good.

[@damontussing4333]

Snus and Zyns are for children. If you're gonna do it you may as well get the real stuff.

[@DMTISME]

Man goes from talking about how much he loves his wife to the roast beef challenge😂😂😂

[@codyswick4185]

Bert when Ari slipped him Molly: “I don’t want to release the podcast, it sends a bad message because I was high and having fun.” Bert on this podcast: “I’m so high right now!” While laughing uncontrollably

[@chrismartinguitar]

Bert: “I’m a great folk artist” *plays Wagon Wheel*

[@brianlennes9494]

Can’t wait to hear more about the neighborhood Bert is building…..

[@BBD-AITB]

How many houses are you donating to charity, you fat poor?

[@ovechkin0831]

I'd live in Bert neighborhood 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[@UhtredOfBamburgh]

They've chosen the location finally: Donetsk City Its in Europe

[@paulasemple]

1:21.26 Tom with his head in his hand at yet another Brent comment is everything pure about these guys that I love.

[@flyerCG]

Siberia dip haha. Thats as good as Dens or Escobar - it will make you sit down 😁

[@adamakii]

im glad they put Bert in the thumbnails, that way i know which episodes to skip. thanks Ennie!

[@BasedGod-ey5ee]

Its Denny🫵

[@tagator88]

Lmao when it’s just Bert and a guest it’s so true

[@benbudd1376]

Love the timing of that "better help" ad 😂😂😂

[@bertusbob]

BetterHelp is a f*cking SCAM!! BetterHelp is sharing consumers health data, including sensitive information about mental health challenges, with third parties for marketing and ad targeting!!!!!! The FTC investigated these sh*theads, and found MAJOR FRAUD, and thousands of victims!!!

[@bbenavides08]

Basketball on skateboards! Tom with the nets and Bert with the board... Figure that shit out guys! Eff the Kelces 😂

[@russellmohr9758]

A ROLLER COASTER RIDING MARATHON!!

[@JMTobbe]

One of the better 2b1c episodes for sure.

[@Whystling_Byrd]

Recency bias. The best one is the one with the dance video.

[@MrJeetro]

That Sibiria you guys tested is a type of "snus". I think it's ranked as the strongest there is. I use "snus" (normal strenght) aswell, but just one of those Sibiria-things makes my arteries hurt instantly. I would only give this stuff to my worst enemies. Good to see Tom and Bert still love eachother :)

[@MottoGrotto-ht1yg]

More nicotine in one pouch than a whole can of Copenhagen. My hockey team used to order them by the box

[@Steve-ev6vx]

I'll pass on that. I try to stick to the lowest dose I can find and use sparingly. It's like caffeine or weed, if you over do it, it doesn't really work anymore and you are just chaising the dragon.

[@delta666SoT]

Bert learned the trick to drinking is moderation, and wants to write a book about it. What a world.

[@jabbenlive]

It's called snus, welcome to the NORTH, gang!

[@lainematthews4862]

POD has always been top notch but with Bert being this present makes it 1000x better. Keep it up guys

[@TGTDE]

Beer Pong / Beer Olympics style competition. Flip Cup, Beer Pong, Can Jam while holding a beer, whatever other popular random college drinking games that involve a little skill and a lot of drinking... It's perfect!

[@sheldons1501]

Funny to see the clip of the bears announcing donating the house then watching this episode! 😅

[@wolfgangkirby6820]

Stavros stole the 69 minutes , absolutely hilarious

[@northgambit]

Worth buying it then?

[@masterofallgoons]

​@@northgambit- I'd like to see it, but am I really gonna buy a digital copy of this thing? Can't imagine I will

[@nowthatsfunny123]

@@northgambit I enjoyed it. I think it’s worth $10 for sure.

[@omnomni5922]

#lookingforgash

[@jamescowley9707]

Personal option, but I thought it was awful lol I wanted to laugh SO badly, but sat awkwardly through most of it upset at the fact that I couldn’t even find it funny while trying so hard. Toms best off the fly, it felt overly scripted and cringy

[@powergod897]

Bert shitting himself and wiping it onstage is fucking foul

[@BPH55]

The man showers in the pool and doesn’t brush his teeth. He’s so gross.

[@walterbrown9684]

Take it to the race track!! Two Bears Racing style!

[@teter9900]

I love that 2 of my fav podcasts might have a competition with each other. It will have to wait till the season is over but if its physical the Bears have no chance

[@lancedimmitt6443]

They obviously don’t know they the kelce brothers had recently #1 song either! 😂

[@jasonwoodring9977]

If Bert was smart he’d buy a cul de sac so he can name the street after himself

[@schingh1973]

I live on one! Make it happen Bert! Imagine Bert as your landlord? He’d show up on my doorstep with a 12 pack at the start of the month looking for someone to drink with.

[@Swearengen1980]

Yeah, he doesn't get to name the street. You can't own a cul-de-sac, just the property outside the Right-of-way the street/cul-de-sac.

[@PodcastWhore21]

That late stopage was wild af. Hearing tom describe the ufc experience is like being on shrooms for a little. He really encapsulated the feeling of being in a modern day Coliseum.

[@Jumahnji]

What ufc event was it?

[@davidoconnor1773]

@@Jumahnji UFC Austin back on Dec 2nd, the fight was Jalin Turner vs Bobby Green

[@nickjames1622]

If you guys haven't rented or bought 69 minutes with Tom Segura, what are you waiting for!! This is your sign!! So fucking hilarious!!

[@stephenconley293]

You have had a donation made in your name to the Human Fund. Merry Christmas Tom and Bert

[@dannygrinder8528]

I love starting Mondays with 2 bears! Morning chuckles are the best

[@dandunlap8638]

The Kelce brothers can sing😂😂😂 besides stand up, there may not be anything you can beat them at.

[@BPH55]

They would probably beat Bert. 😂

[@robertmccleary9202]

29:25 **””HA GOT EM””😂🤣💀

[@mollyeklund9011]

the lighting is really good everyone looks amazing

[@oilsthati14]

Czech Republic here, remember using siberia tobacco in college, fun times 😂

[@ja5304]

Bert’s yearly recap says he gave the refrigerator more face time than his family and friends.

[@austinschwab487]

A decathlon style event, ticketed and streamed online like a special event, all proceeds go to the winners charity of choice. -ball room dancing w/dancing with the stars judges -3 point shootout -shooting arrows -algebra test -cornhole

[@Hystelios]

“I’m really high right now.” Queue BetterHelp ad😂😂😂

[@forrestarcher4653]

"gotta weird taste, like I blew a farmer" 😂😂😂

[@joegreen3237]

I was kinda bored with 69 minutes but Tom’s mom was hilarious. Best part seeing Tom cry laughing.

[@AmandaBurns14]

I was too, there were some good moments, but not as great as the YMH lives. But Charo at the end was hilarious

[@rezarcher]

Long time listener/ First time caller here: Cook off Competition! Pick something like a BarBQ and see who make the best brisket. Likely Tom and Bret might win because Tom lives in the land of perfect brisket and can find some pro to cheat off of and Brian has a cooking show. Being a professional athlete these guys probably have a chef that cooks for them and haven't seen the inside of kitchen since highschool.

[@mattlamothe7955]

"I'm really high.. today episode is sponsored by better help." 😂

[@NA-lp2re]

Love the spitting into a cup ASMR guys, thanks.

[@robweir2555]

Charity Contest - Road Race - Tom drives Bert navigates

[@andrewharrell893]

No laugh challenge... Basically the team that laughs has to take a shot.

[@relaxletgoandrecharge4315]

Car Race is PERFECT, and AWESOME!!! Tim and Bernt, LETS GO!!!

[@FludzyTV]

They should do a contest of which group is more delusional, BRET CARRIES THE TEAM.

[@christ3039]

I think a dance competition would be real funny

[@russellmohr9758]

AN EIGHT BALL TOURNEY!!....THAT WOULD BE PERFECT WITH BERT YABBERING ALL THE TIME!

[@jbird_024]

I love how Bert suggests singing as something that they haven’t done as Jason/Eagles have a Christmas album

[@shepd8787]

I WAS AT THAT SHOW BERT TALKED ABOUT... HE SHIT HIS PANTS IN LITTLE ROCK😂

[@hendersongibson2551]

Get well soon Bert.

[@a_tad_rad]

Bert is nailing it lately.

[@johnschwartz3747]

“Alright, let’s call LeeAnn.” I’ve never skipped through a Liquid IV ad faster.

[@jdreviews1182]

I’m so glad Bert and Tom set aside their differences and are friends again

[@seae2030]

You mean to say they set aside there differences to keep up the cash flow 😂

[@TonyMarselle]

I think we have reached the last days of this being entertaining.

[@UmadBro88]

Yeah, any Kelce mash up will be the final nail for me.

[@steffennate]

Needs to be a Billy Madison style contest. Consisting of sport, music, science and academics.

[@connormcclung4908]

Beer/water pong, corn hole… tail gating theme games…

[@kacklebee]

You guys should do a cook off 🙌

[@WinginitIguess]

Y’all could shit your pants on stage.. seem to be winning that.

[@jshrimpson]

fishing contest for sure!! get the bears on a boat

[@taylorlee3121]

The challenge for the kelces should be family feud with team Tom and Bert vs the kelces and swift 😂

[@debigboom2108]

Love the last hour of them talking about being famous very relatable

[@_mgiles]

Watch love on the spectrum if you want something relatable dude. It's two rich famous guys. how do you think they are anywhere near relatable to you.

[@Relax19647]

Whah WHAH BABY NEEDS TO BE HELD AND TOLD SOMEBODY LOVES HIM. FGTRTD