wear a hazmat suit for these TOXIC relationships - REACTION

[@MyOwnPersonalFantasy]

"You don't have to lie to a woman, if she loves you enough, she will lie to herself". Wow. That's truly insightful.

[@perfectlyimperfect9129]

Sad but true!

[@tjohnson9192]

I had to back up to listen again so I could soak it in!

[@QuartzieK]

Wise words!! 🤯🤯🤓💓

[@freyaegrey]

As someone who does tarot readings and spellwork for other people for a living, it’s the most accurate statement I’ve ever read.

[@JessJArt]

I lied to myself for 12 years but I didn't know what covert narcissism was, I had to wake up to the reality that he was absolutely not capable of being the man and father he said he was.

[@gm-xc5hl]

I was pregnant. Hubby and I, dressed as an angel and the devil, are at a Halloween party. Hubby is getting some food and has his hand on the serving tongs when a drunk woman puts her hand on top of his and winks. He looks my way, terrified, and puts both his hands in the air. Man looks like he’s being robbed. My 7 month pregnant self was doubled over laughing. Still giggle when I think of it.

[@folkloreofbeing]

My fella is a geeky, quiet, gamer guy but he's the spitting image of Keanue Reeves so gets a lot of attention. When we are out and women flirt, I just stand back and watch it happen because it either goes right over his head or he gets squirmy which amuses me no end.

[@ravenartistofficial]

@@folkloreofbeingThat is actually so cute, sounds like my partner! Except mine looks like a giant teddy bear, and even has a cute belly on him 💕 My mom made the comment about the “I chose Bear” argument and I just hugged him and basically said “Yep, so did I. My Teddy Bear” 🧸 🥰

[@peep3616]

@@folkloreofbeing 😂 mine too! Nerd that looks like Andrew Garfield. I go “ooo see you are attractive!” because he’s self conscious *about his looks, but he is definitely attractive.

[@jeanbatchelor7007]

I trust my partner enough that we can joke about the possibility of him cheating. He's too lazy for that

[@2523-u1q]

​@@jeanbatchelor7007 please don't. Used to do same and I got disappointed later on😢. I'm still dealing with it. Not easy dear

[@zombra2836]

My BF of too many years, and I were driving with his son in the backseat. We had just purchased a couple of Pub-Subs and I began to chow down. I was so happy I was wiggling in my chair humming. My BF turns to his son and says, "That's how I know she's happy. She does a happy dance. When you get a girlfriend, you'll know if you've done well, she will do the happy dance." I have a happy dance 😂😂😂

[@grayk7455]

You're adorable❤

[@zombra2836]

😆

[@daniellacastro1210]

This is such a cute comment. Made my day. Thank you! ❤

[@A83-A83]

And doing the happy food dance without even realizing it at times 😂💯. I've been asked why I do that and sometimes I'm like whatcha talking bout Willis! 😂 Some people don't understand it. Just like a little happy place. Lol.

[@Ashley-maybe.]

I always dance when I eat lol. Hubby pointed it out bc I nor realized I do it but if there’s food and I want it, I dance while I eat the first good bites and sometimes I dance all the way through 😂

[@Ladiofthewoods]

The fixer upper girl...if she has records of her payments, photos of before/after renovations plus proof of residency she will absolutely be able to claim equity in that home.

[@MammarellaClarisa]

I don't know where she lives and the laws there, but maybe that's why he is making her pay rent. Maybe that way, she won't be able to claim anything. And maybe that way it would be easier to evict her whenever he wants.

[@davidknight3249]

Depends on the state. If it were California they are common-law married and she would have equity rights to the house. For states without common-law, If he doesn't have a lease agreement with her she has equity rights on the house but she better have receipts.

[@gladys1047]

Either way I bet she's not keeping up with what she's doing cause she probably feels like it'll work in her favor I'm the end .

[@kallista5194]

​@@tl6268🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ Noooooooo that unrequited EFFORT is not meant for hobosexuals! No fairy tale except Cinderella promoted being a f***-maid! Come on ladies, you deserve so much better! 🎉

[@THEMamaVicky]

Yep, Equity. Sweat Equity plus financial.

[@CrownedYeti]

I was the woman in the 8 yr relationship; was with him since 17 yrs old, (i'm 26 now.) He lived rent free the entire time, used my family for a job, resources, monetary support, and networking connections. I went out of my way to do everything for him, always gave him gifts on the major holidays and never got anything in return as he spent all his money on his truck. He was pressuring me for kids before ever mentioning marriage. He finally cheated on me and it ended our relationship last Autumn. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. Now he's dating a fresh mother w an 8 month old baby who isn't even out of her divorce yet while I'm riding high with the single life.

[@rachaeljones4850]

I'm so glad you got out! And that you didn't cave under pressure about having children. Well done, and enjoy your freedom!

[@oceanside88]

He owes you money under Common Law.

[@ElsaGabrielaMitreLópez]

Keep going and never look back!!! How awesome 👍

[@nykkiwise8447]

Do you worry he was gonna be weird with the kids? Seems soooo weird he wanted kids so bad and now has someone else with a tiny baby.

[@melindaroop1346]

NEVER EVER have a mans baby that hasn't married you and isn't providing financially.

[@Nemeia83]

I've been with my hubby for 23 years... He hardly remembers Valentines Day or my birthday... BUT every day, he makes me tea/coffee before I wake up, when I'm too busy at work (we work from home) he will make me lunch. When I had a shitty day, he will run a bubble bath for me. Not to mention literally putting on my shoes and socks when I was pregnant with our kids, because I had a hard time doing it myself. He might not be good with dates and gifts, be he is sooooo good for every day life, I would never change him.

[@kelseyleeann5482]

He forgets your birthday??

[@myrabeth77]

Sounds a lot like mine, and we're only a year and change behind you in relationship longevity. He's fantastic for doing all the sweet little things in daily life, but asking him to plan a date or major gift completely on his own is like asking him to grow wings and fly. It's never gonna happen. Oh, well. No one is perfect, and he shows love and appreciation for me in lots of tiny day-to-day ways. Things that require planning just aren't his forte. 😂

[@sbfabtfc1]

​@kelseyleeann5482 Really, that's all you got out of that comment? That he forgot her birthday? Despite all of the daily coffee and tea, making lunch, putting on shoes and socks for her when pregnancy made it difficult, and bubble baths just because her day was hard? Please get some perspective. I would gladly forego birthday recognition for someone who truly has my back rather than the spendthrift, ingrate, passive-aggressive ex I finally got the sense to get rid of 7 years ago.

[@tomastomasi975]

​@@sbfabtfc1 I have to wonder about your relationships if making coffee and lunch is so big. And helping your own wife get dressed when she is pregnant is absolutely the most basic common courtesy. I don't care about a birthday present but forgetting it would upset me.

[@sbfabtfc1]

@tomastomasi975 Then, given your comment, I must wonder about how easy your life must have been so far and how much you thus take for granted in your relationships if those things are so small and basic. If someone had my back and did the things for me that the husband did for her, I'd be grateful and give a pass on forgetting my birthday. Consistent commitment throughout the year like that husband demonstrates takes a lot more effort to maintain than a mere annual gift. It's OK - our experiences and resulting priorities are just different, which is expected.

[@Hopespringseternal]

The girlfriend who renovates and pays rent makes me so sad. She probably thinks if she just works hard enough, he’ll commit. So sad

[@fernmiranda]

She is just teaching him how little he needs to put into the relationship. From now on, he will be giving her even less. She will think, it's because of something she did wrong and give him even more of herself and that is when he cheats on her.

[@SmileGirl010]

Yeah I was with my husband for 8 years before proposed, and so I have a lot of understanding for people who wait a long time to get married or just choose not to, but that relationship has some major red flags!

[@Nostradevus1]

Some people do this with apartments they rent. It’s not that outlandish to me. I personally wouldn’t, but some people do work to better they habitat even knowing they won’t keep the effort long term.

[@SherlocksLeftNipple]

My Dad's in a reversed version of this. He's not looking to get hitched or anything, but the amount of profit his girlfriend has made off of his free labor, renovating the properties she's sold over the past few years, makes me really mad. All he's getting out of it is the use of her car - and he drives her all over the place, too, and pays for the gas! Dad! Dude! Buddy! She owes you so much money!!!

[@mingiinimene3335]

@@Nostradevus1 But if your boyfriend treats you like a bad landlord what's the point of the relationship?

[@lswallace4885]

The comment that beautiful black woman uttered: “you don’t have to lie to a woman because if she loves you enough she’ll lie to herself” is some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@HelloXrancidkitteh]

it is a sad truth.

[@savannahs8914]

We all went to Girl Church for a minute there

[@Odala_GachaProductions]

I have a “toxic” family for years and I love them so much, and they gaslight me all my life- I am planning to move out when I graduate. They call me all these things when all of my external stress comes from deep rooted traumas and guilt. I lie to myself too much, trying to believe them that they love me. At this point, I don’t know to believe it, I’m almost gaslighting myself. Yeah, this hits deep. 🪦

[@systemiclizard3101]

I wear a fake engagement ring to avoid being sexually harassed at work. It’s common, especially when you work around painters and contractors. A young couple came in (older than me by like maybe 2-3 years, I’m 23) and I started asking them the project they were working on. The gf is busy looking at colors, so her boyfriend is talking to me about the project. The second I laugh at one of his jokes, she shoots me the NASTIEST, HARSHEST look I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even think about it, I just lifted up my left hand and flashed her the fake ring. Her bf, clueless to his woman trying to blow me up with her mind, took a second to admire the ring, asked me how long I’ve been with my partner, and then went back to talking about drywall. Girl, he’s cute, but I’m getting engaged soon to a woman who’s 6’1, 160 lbs, and does Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Not scrunkly looking Connor who looks like one solid windstorm could blow him into the atmosphere.

[@Janelou42]

Love the idea but could backfire if you really meet a damn cute person of interest ;D

[@aspenmaria]

​@Janelou42 if you read the comment you'd see she said she's engaged

[@Janelou42]

@@aspenmaria ... I think that is what she openly says as a lie because she is wearing a fake engagement ring, no?

[@suonatar1]

It's hard to be single in these situations. As if everyone assumed that if you are single, you have the urgent need to fill the "void" in your life with the first guy that puts his guard down. Or even worse - if you're a woman, you can't speak with a man unless it's romantically related.

[@sephaeletvoid3757]

"scrunkly looking Connor" 🤣🤣🤣

[@pierremaiden]

Ah yes, the: "It's the other women fault that my boyfriend cheats" girl!

[@patriciat4493]

guess her plan is to put boyfriend 'Adam' under 24/7 supervision

[@adriana27100]

It's shocking how some people operate... A lot of the time, thr other woman was lied to and told that he's single.. then she gets the blame somehow? Ive had this happen to me as a girlfriend and also the girl who didn't know. And guess what? I came together with the other women to talk like an adult and felt for them too, it sucks being lied to. Unless it's a case of where the woman knows, she deserves to be called out... Most of the time, it's not like that. Blame YOUR MAN!!!

[@jengsci8268]

I had a boyfriend years ago that when we were together in public, he would just literally/physically hang all over me. Very possessive. Too possessive. That didn't last long. Gotta give a person some space. My current partner does not do this. He can talk to other women, I can talk to other men. We can talk to other couples etc. We know who we're going home with, and we both know we're not getting anyone else's contact info. At least not without the other's knowledge. Sometimes he gets/gives his contact for potential side jobs. Usually this is to another couple together. And I have been present to the situation.

[@patriciaferraro4189]

@@adriana27100 agreed. Even if she knows about you, she doesn’t know you and cheaters have been known to paint a horrible picture of their partners and how the relationship is on the rocks but due to “insert reason”, they can’t end things just yet… it takes two but the one I would be angry at is the one who claimed to love me while cheating on me, putting my physical and emotional safety at risk - that’s not love! Be angry at the one who lies to you and most likely to the other person too!

[@Solènelamigonnelicorne]

Tatie Charlotte je suis présente je t'aimes très fort merci pour cette vidéo ❤😊

[@theirmanager5204]

The church guy situation, I am absolutely sure this strategy would work on a certain type of woman. Everything is fine in private, and then when they go out around HER friends..suddenly he’s completely different. It throws her off, she’s insecure and thinks ‘oh no what did I do?’ And then she’s nervous and upset and uncomfortable and wants to make it better. He gas lights her into thinking that she’s actually done something wrong. He would probably repeat these kinds of actions until she associates these changes in his behaviour toward her with social engagements. This type of partner is trying to separate the other from their friend group so they are more easily controlled. I can see this from miles away. I have seen this happen two times. This lays the ground work for abuse. This is sinister. This girl’s instinct to be creeped out was spot on. Good for her.

[@kaelin_cherise]

HE'S PAVLOVING HER OH MY GOD

[@indyyall9443]

Yes unfortunately my ex husband did this to me and I was a very sheltered people pleaser to notice the red flags. Took me 6 years to realize that he was the problem the whole time. Makes me sad that these vermin prey on good-natured people.

[@Laurelin9222]

You are spot on. This is the first step to separate her from her connections. Classic abuser. Leave his stupid ass right now.

[@jasongarland8279]

as a "church guy" myself you are SPOT ON!!! This behaviour is disgusting and abusive, not only do I agree that she needs to tell him to get lost BUT also needs to speak to his church leaders, he took her to church so she knows where he attends, you don't need to be a church member to speak to the church leaders you can just call up and make an appointment

[@marymayhem5822]

My ex was like that. It was never public behavior vs in private behavior. It was more like every time I would get on discord calls with my friend group, it would always be the same argument “why don’t you ever talk to them at an appropriate time, you always talk to them when we’re spending time together” like mf WE LIVE TOGETHER, what is an appropriate time for you then? Didn’t answer the question. Eventually left my friend group. He tried isolating me from my family too. Throughout our almost 3 year relationship he tried it CONSTANTLY. Ultimately he dumped me right after Christmas (I’m pretty sure he waited just to get his gifts from me). Blamed me for the entire break up, everything. He’s a textbook narcissist. I still lived with him after the break up but I drew the line when he started putting his hands on me. Been on my own since. I don’t need his pathetic ass.

[@Gracialahaight]

Great video! Sadly, my two year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.

[@JeanElmore-z7i]

Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.

[@Gracialahaight]

Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?

[@JeanElmore-z7i]

His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.

[@Gracialahaight]

Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.

[@bri5155]

I love how we all made the same face when that lovely woman said, "You don't have to lie to a woman. If she loves you enough she'll lie to herself."

[@ravenartistofficial]

😭

[@BMack-p9s]

Yes, and sadly it is true sometimes, I can think of two women I know who are brilliant at deluding themselves on a daily basis about the lousy men in their lives.

[@apocketfulofprose]

“If you’re not improving my life then WTH are you doing here?!” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻say it louder for the people in the back!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@ashleyplummer2954]

Read this right when she said that 👀

[@mikiehashbarger8182]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@meganjones3427]

I got my sister to drop her loser ass bf with this logic. If all he does is stress you out and make you sad, wth is the point of him?

[@dianegrant3215]

😂 I I'm 74 years old, and I recently thought I would try out the senior center in my community. Trust me girls. These insecure women don't age well either! 😂😂

[@blueducky35]

❤️

[@Nicole-yw4vq]

Some people never grow up

[@HazelMornings]

Damn it. Are you SERIOUS?! Humans growing old and calming down is what I’ve been looking forwards to!😫

[@athenachristinemusic]

😂

[@JenniferLeeTacy]

the only thing that changes i the boobs dip further and the hip pain.

[@shannonwireman8584]

“You don’t have to lie to a woman, because if she loves you enough, she’ll lie to herself” Just gut punched me so hard I lost air!!!!!!!

[@krystalynkersey]

I say this all the time and I still don’t get it.

[@srkh8966]

It works both ways, too, which is why my brother has taken back his b of a wife for the third time after she cheated-they don’t even have kids

[@shannonwireman8584]

@@srkh8966 my brother did that for 30 years. Then he FINALLY left for good! Now he’s married to one that’s worse! 🤬

[@brookelianne007]

"Before any of you call me stupid, my brain wasn't even fully developed yet." 😂 I'm using that

[@Qrtuop]

With the next sentence she used she confirmed she's 100% stupid and has serious internalised misogyny, actually

[@Ashley-maybe.]

“I’m just a girl.” Made me lol even more 😂

[@jachyra4]

I am so sick of this excuse. Your brain may still be developing, but it should be developed enough by the time you're dating to recognize that this guy is trash. Plenty of other people the same age have noooo trouble at all avoiding toxic people like this.

[@nola-nat]

@@jachyra4it’s gonna happen to you and you will be sideswiped by it like the rest of normal people. Hell, it could be right now since you’re gd salty at someone else’s misery.

[@samanthathick6724]

​​@@jachyra4I get what you're saying but rose colored glasses are real, and everyone makes mistakes. Especially when they're young. I'm pretty positive some people fall harder and easier in love than others and you happen to be one that doesn't fall easy. Good for you, but looking down upon ppl is ugly.

[@lilscenechick1995]

Ladies (everyone, really) please stop giving your ALL to someone who doesn’t appreciate you! It’s not selfish or wrong to expect reciprocation. That’s what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. If you’re always giving benefit of the doubt, always defending them, always coming up with excuses…stop. And if they hurt you and make you feel unsafe, please find some help and get out of that situation. You’re worth so much more. As Charlotte said, FREE YOURSELF.

[@Fiona-68]

I've been married for 34 years and it's very true about doing little things for each other. My husband very rarely buys me things on a special day, BUT he gets me Cokes when I'm watching KZbin without asking. He buys me plants for no reason. He calls me Sunshine. He is always helping me find dumb $&#@ I lose. He helps me when I'm sick, and so many other things. Treats me well and I treat him well,

[@huchlvr]

Exactly! Married 39 years next week and I go nuts when he wastes money on extravagent gifts that mean nothing. It's the little things. Like your man knowing when your thirsty, or mine bringing me my ice pack when we sit down to watch tv. Cut flowers are nice, but ultimately a waste of money as they die. Get me a plant that will last at least all summer.

[@crazybiogeek]

Oh I absolutely agree with you both and I hope I can be married as long someday. My husband is the best. He got me a tree for my birthday cause we'd been wanting to replace the tree we lost in a storm for a couple years now. If he insists on getting me some "big" present, then it's gonna be a tree! Half the actual gift was the fact he called the city to have them mark the underground utilities, so we could pick a spot. Logistical stuff like that.

[@laurasherry3017]

My partner is the same. He doesn't necessarily do really big things, because he was brought up in a family that doesn't believe in that. They don't celebrate birthdays and Christmas etc. But he is constantly doing small, meaningful things.

[@fionam7768]

Thank you. And him. I really needed you two today. May the very best in life be yours; well, whatever you don't already have as you both pretty clearly know what you have together shames pretty much everything else this world can offer, but you get the idea ❤❤❤❤❤

[@vertilingo]

I’m glad you found your soulmate

[@hipuppy12345]

We need more women like the one in the pink shirt speaking up on her experience being disrespected and not standing for it. It gives other women the courage and she is leading by example - especially younger folks who might not have the experience to realize that behaviour is abnormal.

[@sbryant6797]

You mean Charlottes? :-)

[@annellle]

@@sbryant6797no, this person is referring to the woman in the pink striped shirt in the last 2 clips about “church guy”

[@sbryant6797]

@@annellle I was kidding.

[@trijniet]

And she was even considerate about it, I wouldn’t have been so nice probably

[@JessicaKnight0409]

I first heard the quote “we accept the love we think we deserve” when watching the perks of being a wallflower and I have lived by it since, and my god is it true!

[@LongLostInideQueen]

That’s my favorite adolescent novel ever ❤

[@matthewfarley8340]

My mom and dad divorced after 14 years. My dad stopped getting her any presents or gifts for all holidays for the past 8 years. My mom finally left him. As a kid seeing my mom cry all the time messed me up. So now I have been in my relationship for 15 years and never forget a holiday or special day. I bring something home to my husband every night.

[@rachaeljones4850]

You sound lovely. I'm assuming that your husband appreciates your care and treats you as well as you do him? In which case 👍😊

[@davidknight3249]

@@rachaeljones4850 Does he treat her the same?

[@MerryAnne2598]

My ex stopped after four years.

[@OrthodoxMidwife]

I have trauma responses from my parents marriage as well. I do something similar where I always want to make birthdays and holidays special occasions because I never want someone to feel like my mom felt

[@annaagiantritis3916]

Kinda shallow to think that a marriage is based on "gifts" My parents were married 52 years before he passed away, and he only bought my mother a handful of gifts. It didn't mean he didn't love her. My dad worshipped my mother.

[@raelynnhamilton5750]

You don’t need to lie to a woman because if she loves you enough, she will lie to herself. BEST LINE EVER

[@brittanyzahn7939]

It's not what he buys you, it's the fact that he took the time and effort to THINK about you and get you something.

[@elderford989]

My favorite piece of jewellery my partner got me is the cheapest piece and literally never leaves my neck. It's Freya (Viking god) in hammered metal on a cord. It offers protection and love. She was, in lore, a shield maiden and he got me it because I fight with my multiple health conditions daily and it resonated with him. We are also both heavily into Vikings, he knows I'm Pagan and that I love Norse history.

[@pinkrose8272]

I’ve never been in a long term relationship but as someone who shows my love to friends and family through gifts. It has nothing to do with how expensive and some of the best received gifts I’ve given are not usually the more expensive ones. Usually the handmade ones or gifts pertaining highly specific interests are the best ones as it proves that you put the time in to either making something sweet or care enough to pay attention to the things they like. Someone who directly admits to not wanting to do any of that or even just get a generic gift for their spouse on a huge gift giving day twice in a row (without both agreeing to skip holiday as that would be different) is a red flag.

[@megganwilliams171]

Yep 17 years married 18 together and I unfortunately still do not receive gifts or flowers but once in a blue moon year and he and his mother have told my 3 children they do not have to tell me they love me

[@brittanyzahn7939]

@@megganwilliams171 oh my god! I am so sorry! That is HORRIBLE. You don't deserve that.

[@heatherlowe7330]

Yes! Even just saying happy Valentine's Day or happy birthday doing something for you.It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, maybe just cooking dinner or bringing home take out for every one so you don't have to cook.

[@carlyann2707]

My bf watched my dog last night while i was sick. He took her out fed her and made sure she didnt wake me up. That meant everything to me. So yes its very simple to make a girl happy. My dog normally would have had me up 6 times last night and he did all of it. I slept in the guest room and got a full night of sleep. It was amazing!

[@liajas]

It really is as simple as showing us they care. Once that stops, the deterioration begins. Respect, consideration and care should go both ways obviously for any relationship to last.

[@moniqueengleman873]

Praise him for doing a good job not waking you up. Not the dog, the husband. Men love to be adored

[@carlyann2707]

@@liajas i do all the same things for him too I was just talking about a specific situation that my bf did something for me that was relevant to the video.

[@carlyann2707]

@@moniqueengleman873 i absolutely did :)

[@moniqueengleman873]

@@carlyann2707 👍

[@kathleent4291]

That last girl was refreshing how she stood up for herself. Forget talking to you that way, if a man talks to ANYONE that way he’s lost my respect

[@tonichan89]

Word!

[@tonichan89]

Girl dodged a CANON with that Church Guy.

[@loristime6607]

She’s paying her “landlord”. He isn’t paying his “contractor”. He has ZERO honor.

[@Liebe1313]

🏆👏👏👏

[@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681]

What are you going on about?

[@Outriley]

@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681he's charging her rent even though she's his gf but he isn't paying her for the renovations because she is his gf

[@lucaleone4331]

I havent watched her whole story. But is he asking her to do the renovations? Bills need to be paid. It's not weird for her to chip in for it.

[@vtupakkokirjautuu]

That dude's going to be living in that newly renovated house with the woman he loves and marries, and she's going to be sitting somewhere wondering why she did so much for him. A relationship is about love, but it is also about exchange. Never, ever, ever give more than you get. Work for yourself first, set yourself up first, and what is left over can be shared with others. Never put others first and be left behind with nothing. You're responsible for yourself first. No one else is responsible for you, but they will sure as hell use you if you let them.

[@ThoughtsonThoughtsandFeelings]

I adore stories like this superbowl one: abuse as an action isn’t a binary, but abuse as entitlement to degrade others- that’s something you can learn to recognize. Good for HER!!!!

[@raquellofstedt9713]

Ys! He is trying to show her friends that HE is the one who decides now. He thinks that he´ll humiliate her and they´ll look down on her because of it. Nope. Good for her.

[@annellle]

⁠@@raquellofstedt9713exactly. and yet even then, he’s still enough of a coward to only do it in front of 1 friend, and not the entire room of them. he’s showing his “power” to no one - which is even more embarrassing because at least an abuser who demands such power will do it in front of a crowd at the risk of getting confronted and humiliated by her friends. this guy? wants to demand power but has no balls to accept the consequences if he were to do it anywhere besides his pathetic party of 1.

[@courtneystewart8006]

"Like a dog, I am motivated by food" hit home for me so hard

[@Copernican]

The boyfriend who used his middle name probably keeps track of which girlfriend he is talking to based on which name she calls him. I found out that's what my father used to do when he was cheating on my mother.

[@Asma-ul7fl]

Wow just wow 😅 Edit : I must admit that s actually very smart . Devilish but smart

[@KeitieKalopsia]

And that shows she’s the second in line too, otherwise he would’ve used his first name for her

[@kaitlin2150]

Insane! I didn't even think of that!

[@freezing5]

I know some people have tried to switch names for tax evasion. But to play the field this way is vile.

[@EH23831]

Whoah! 🤯

[@lilykep]

That first girl is out here announcing to the whole party that the dude is her man, meanwhile my *favorite* party activity is watching my husband get hit on from a distance. It doesn't matter if he's aware he's being hit on or he's oblivious, either way he starts talking about me within SECONDS of meeting a new person. We used to work for the same company in different roles, I was a merchandiser and he was delivering the merchandise. For years we were on totally separate schedules then the company changed our schedules out of nowhere. We were able to meet up for lunch in the back of one of the stores we were working at because the person who had to scan the items in was also on lunch. It was really nice to have a bit of time to eat with him and we were generally alone because everyone else was also eating. One day after lunch, when my husband left, the lady working receiving in the back of the store pulled me aside and said "Girl I just want to let you know he has a wife. I saw you cuddling up to him and thought you should know he's married." She looked a bit taken aback when I started *grinning* and I could see the relief on her face when I said "Thank you for saying something, but I already know he's married. I'm his wife." She laughed for at least 10 minutes and told me he talks about me all the time. She said that she knew he had a wife before she even knew his first name. Neither my husband or I work for that company anymore but we are both still friends with her.

[@kristipearce4819]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS STORY!!!!❤❤❤❤ Love this for you, babe!!🎉

[@Nixmeri2411]

GIRLS GIRL! Didn’t even know the wife and was already prepped to save that marriage ❤️🎉 I love this for you though, true show of love from this man, your man!

[@alexia3552]

That is the sweetest most heartwarming thing. Thank you for sharing!

[@aliciamae14]

I love this ❤😂

[@michaela2798]

I’d stay friends with her too! She’s a real one 💯

[@margaretm6121]

I trust my husband implicitly, he can talk and have a conversation with whoever and I know he’ll be as good as gold. Was on a night out and there was 3 pretty girls, 2 of whom were models. I was tired and went to bed leaving him with them, I had nothing to fear. He’s pretty quick to return to my side when I’m talking to a man though - married 32 years.

[@Typa-style]

Left my ex now hoping for a husband like yours!!!😂 pray for my level up

[@sleeping_average]

Speaking of toxic relationships, i have to thank you Charlotte, because watching your videos has actually helped me see the fucked up situation i was in and end it. It's been almost one year now, and i still think about how stupid i had been for 3 whole years of my life, i have so much guilt for not seeing it earlier, i feel like such an idiot, but your videos always help me see the positive side, and that at least i managed to leave. I see a lot of people in similar situation and am so glad that someone else might look at a video like this and think "huh, this looks a bit like what i'm living right now, and it's not ok". Thanks :) Edit: sorry if the english is bad, not my first language Edit 2: thank you everyone for the kind words, it warms my heart a lot, i'm working on everything you said and suggested and i try to treat myself a little better every day, one step at a time :)

[@fionam7768]

So that was lesson number 1, courtesy of Char; I've got number 2. No more guilt. You did nothing wrong in continuing longer than you wish you had to make things live up to the potential you thought it had. Thinking the best of people is a good thing; it just didn't work out here, probably because you didn't know people could be quite so rubbish. Now you know - lesson learned, and you won't be as patient as long if you run into a similar situation in work, life or matters of the heart. There's no guilt in learning, nor in making the mistakes we learn from. You have better things to do with whatever energy you are wasting on guilt - yes, wasting: you can't change the past, and u r spending the present on the past by feeling bad about it. Stop it - now: life's too short to spend any more of it feeling anything about that relationship other than pleased you left it, whenever that was. Next time you catch yourself feeling guilty, remind yourself you're done with that and do something else: pat a dog, massage your cuticles, pay someone a compliment. I promise, once you break that habit, you'll really be free. ❤❤

[@CrazyPlantLady911]

That's awesome! Congratulations for getting yourself out of a toxic relationship. That takes strength and courage.

[@redundantnspeechless]

Good for you!!!!

[@alexia3552]

I am so happy for you that you were able to get out! I just want to give you a big hug, my heart hurts to see you speaking unkindly to yourself. I’m so sorry if people have told you you were “stupid” for not seeing it earlier or whatever. You weren’t stupid. You were hopeful. You were trusting. You were taken advantage of. It’s never a negative thing to be hopeful and trusting. The abuse was the fault of the abuser. You are valid and you are love itself, you’re a miracle of consciousness! You deserve kindness and gentleness and you are entitled to give it to yourself, you don’t need anyone else’s permission to be gentle and forgiving and encouraging to yourself. I’m still learning that with regards to myself, but I want to pass it along wherever I can because it saves so much pain when you finally get to a place where you’re open to being gentle with yourself. Wishing you a good day today! ❤

[@FirstnameLastnames]

Proud of you for leaving!

[@jennivamp5]

That last one, yeeeeesssss! We love an assertive queen! Know your worth people, never let anyone disrespect you like that.

[@sigrdrifumal7135]

I got the ring, I redid the whole house I thought would be our home. After I was done renovating the whole house, he told me to leave. With no reason. I still do not know what is this "everything" I did wrong. 😂 Now I'm in a new happy, healthy relationship, BUT you bet I will not renovate our home without a piece of paper.

[@xonlyxjojox]

The GF that renovates her BF’s house breaks my heart. I don’t want her to wake up one day and realize that she gave all her 20s to a man that truly doesn’t see her as someone he wants to build a life with.. I wish her well💗

[@adaliaalvarez7269]

She will, though, and that's the only way she's going to learn about herself. It'll cost her 10 years of her life, but if it means she'll be happy and healthy in her 30's, well...I'll wish her well, as well 💗💗

[@sonjadunning1579]

That quote hit me like a ton of bricks "you don't have to lie to a woman because if she loves you she'll lie to herself."I wish I would have heard that back when I was in my twenties that might have saved me some heartache. Love you Charlotte!💓

[@nutrition_psychology_girly]

Church Guy was loving when he had her to himself; became controlling and domineering when she was in the company of a support network. I’m so glad she called him on his rubbish and kicked him out!

[@eduardocruz4341]

The church guy was also probably trying to isolate her from her friends and family as the relationship progressed if she was willing to overlook his attitude at the party

[@Unlucky_Charms_]

100%. He was testing the waters, and if she had allowed it, it would've been a green flag for him. Meaning she was prime for manipulation and abuse. It's hard out here. Wish us all a good man or the strength to leave ones like these. ❤

[@EH23831]

Yep - he knew what he was doing

[@SamuraiXGeisha]

This behavior is why we have war

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

How exactly would that isolate her? I’m really curious about how he thinks

[@lettyrooi6759]

​@@dodgyyoutuber9560one word: humiliation. Make her feel embarrassed, so she would not want to socialize with anyone especially that group of friends and/or family.

[@GrungeGalactica]

I’m so glad Charlotte is reacting to these and talking about toxic vs healthy relationships. This stuff needs to be spread to women far and wide.

[@iriscast10]

I always take blunt ppl like this a blessing. Because at least you get to see their true selves before its too late to leave. We gotta be worried about the ones that are good at faking love.

[@julies7622]

“If you’re not improving my life then what the hell are you doing here” truer words have never been spoken 😂

[@Bunny_Gee]

The poor woman who is paying rent and renovating needs to get out of that mess ASAP. He could have put her on the deed if he wasn't completely using her.

[@bartismoellis1052]

You have no idea maybe they don’t want to be married maybe they are happy with the arrangement nobody said she was paying for the renovations she is helping with the project maybe he is doing all of the labor. Sounds fair to me and I am a chick

[@Christian_Martel]

@@bartismoellis1052 The rent she pays probably goes directly into paying the mortgage for his property. If you can support a mortgage, why don’t you get equity. She has zero business acumen.

[@CyeOutsider]

​@bartismoellis1052 Stop making excuses for garbage men. While its true now every woman wants to be married, the reality is that he's financially exploiting her. The fact that she can't see it doesn't make it right. When he contributes labour, he's adding value to HIS assets for free. When she's contributing labor she's adding value to an asset that she has no financial interest in, for free or at her own expense. He could kick her out tomorrow, and she'd have nothing. Whereas he'd have the house and all the finanvial benefits of her free labor and her financial contributions. It's manifestly unfair on her and he's a douch for doing that.

[@akartnsht8417]

I married my first boyfriend and I never had to experience any of the cheating or evil things a lot of women go through. I feel very lucky for that, I have six brothers though and knew how a man should be treating me. My single father made sure that I wouldn't settle for less than the best. Thanks dad!!❤

[@hannacardi8794]

I have a family member, who is an actual Narcissist, not just the buzz word, who treats all his girlfriends super poorly and just straight uses them. When his mom asked him why he did it he said “Because they let me and I know they’ll let me”. We were all disgusted when he said that. Be safe out there girls.

[@elizabethdeatrick6644]

Record him saying this and show it to his girl friends

[@tiniowien57401]

Having had a narc ex I can believe it..I know he's doing his crap with yet another one..he tried getting me back...I laughed so loud the entire room heard me with a resounding. "Not even if hell froze over and the devil himself walked out." 😂😂😂😂 Hell no dude

[@tiniowien57401]

And the room clapped after I said that and started walking away..it was epic

[@LongLostInideQueen]

Did his parents ever influence that behavior? Or was he an oddball with a narcissistic kick?

[@Deedoof]

My mom accepted my Dad's behavior and stayed years longer than she should have. Because of that I stayed in past relationships for too long because it was ingrained into my head to "stay". This is why kids deserve 2 happy homes vs. a broken one; we become the products of our upbringings.

[@jengsci8268]

Had a boyfriend that started bringing me flowers randomly "just because" plus he liked roses. Well, all of a sudden the roses stopped coming. I found out later that the girl who was selling them wasn't coming into that bar anymore. Go figure.

[@BruinPhD2009]

One of the best days of my life is when my parents got divorced. Watching two people I loved basically torture each other was not worth it.

[@jeanams07]

This needs to be stressed more... So many people try to say that broken homes always have a negative effect on children. But that often isn't true if their parent's relationship is toxic and/or abusive. Because when the abused parent stays it teaches the kids that they should stay in toxic relationships and accept the abuse as well. Thankfully more and more studies are coming out to prove that children do better in two seperate healthy households, instead of one where the parents are misrable, toxic for each other, or one is being abused.

[@MamaHusky2]

The best gift my hubby ever gave me was a bouquet of wildflowers he picked behind his job. He pulled up to my work, handed me the flowers, and said, "I saw these and figured you'd like them." Cost him nothing but the time to drive them to me (He worked 1/2 mile away) Makes me smile, all these years later.

[@BigT2664]

They want more than just the little ring... It's the heartfelt commitment that goes with the ring that makes the difference.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

BEWARE folks! The one who blocks gets to keep the option to unblock. If the creeper blocks you first, it means they now have control over when they get back into your life. Be mindful!

[@elizabethshuster218]

100% yes! A guy in my apartment building who tried to pressure me into dating him (like 5 times in less than a week) did that to me constantly. As soon as I saw him unblock me again, I immediately blocked his ass so he could stop sending me stupid messages. He's absolutely kookoo.

[@fionam7768]

I did not know this. I learn SO much from this community, it would be scary if it wasn't so dam helpful ❤❤❤❤

[@kariprice2882]

LMAO, The fact that you were literally digging in your nose on camera makes me love you even more. Be you girl.... I love it.

[@tabithabates244]

I dated a narcissist for 8 years and the shit he did and said to me was ridiculous. I have since become a lot more discerning. Will not turn a blind eye to the red flags.

[@LittleMaitea]

7years for me The BS is sometimes so stupid it’s just incomprehensible My highlights after healing and finding humour in it: -„it’s your fault we had another car crash into our car, because you wore that dress, that I chose, but it upset my mom, so I was angry at you“ -„I cheated because you never have time for me, … but actually I never cheated, that you don’t trust me is outrageous! You need to be available for me 24/7 and I need to check your phone but because you don’t trust me you are forbidden from my phone until you behave better“ (for clarification he was cheating but flipped his confession mid sentence as if he would have phased into an parallel dimension) -„The pictures of naked girls (underage or else I wouldn’t have had a problem) are not from me … I was hacked!“ „So the hacker put pictures on your IPad?“ (iPads back then were almost unhackable) „Yes“ „So the hacker now has also pictures of me?“ (admittedly I was playing here because I was more aware of his BS at this point) „Yes…. Wait no!… What I mean is I let a friend use my iPad and he possibly put some pictures on it“ „So a friend of your saw my pictures“ „… no no definitely not he just used it short time the pictures are just a stupid joke… to test you and how much you trust me…“

[@tamimercer476]

A dirty puddle is bad enough but outside the Walmart 😂😂😂

[@ForestFire369]

its got snot rockets in it and everything lmao

[@sweett5896]

Lol right! 😂

[@hesjustthisguyyaknow]

her whole story is about how the other woman is a possessive, jealous, psycho; so why's the takeaway of the story that the guy is worthless and undesirable?

[@melrobertson2743]

​@@hesjustthisguyyaknowYeah that's what I was wondering too

[@meghnamohan4831]

​@@hesjustthisguyyaknow I thinks that's her only option at that moment. Coz even if she says that she's not interested in that boyfriend the girl might not believe it due to her own delusions. In some previous video of Charlotte there was a similar case by a waitress. No matter how many time she said she didn't know the man, the girlfriend don't believe it. So in this case her only option was to roast the guy in front of the girl to show that she absolutely doesn't want anything with him. Honestly, he just got in between the cross fire. Didn't really deserve that

[@sheilat2014]

Him talking to her like that in front of everyone and it being the first time was the first test to see what he would be able to get away with. It only gets worse. I’m proud of her for stopping it immediately!

[@fallhearts-x9w]

You especially have to do this if you’re in the service industry. If you’re an attractive woman and you’re just doing your job, it’s like ‘calm down, I just asked if he wants more salad dressing…’

[@robinrose688]

I agree unless they feel they need to sit next to him on the booth and be all flirty to take his order. That does piss me off.

[@AHilly]

One doesn't even need to be attractive, if the person is insecure they will act that way towards all females.

[@QuartzieK]

I always smiled more at the girl and stood closer to her, if it applied, I engaged and always asked the lady first… because I already know how that cookie crumbles 😂 and usually, if the man is paying, and you take really good care of his lady, and she’s happy, that tip is niiice 😎

[@transsnack]

​@@robinrose688who tf doing that? If someone does that, I can guarantee it's against policy. Report them.

[@transsnack]

​@@AHillyI'm a trans guy and I usually look fugly as hell, but I still got tatas and, without fail, those girls think I want their man. I don't know how to get it into their skulls that I'm wildly uninterested.

[@taylorp6643]

Man some of these stories make me so sad for these women! It does remind me of something I learned about helping a friend leave an abusive relationship: become the opposite of the abuser. If they belittle the person and make them feel stupid, build them up and make them feel strong and capable. One way is being careful about how you speak to them about how they handle the abuse, as that can reinforce the things that abuser is telling them.

[@Kissuurknuckles]

the fart sound effect at 2:35 woke my cat up and she looked so offended

[@patriciat7058]

The first story reminded me of a confrontation I witnessed 50-some years ago. I was at the grocery store with my Aunt Irene when a woman stormed up and accused her of trying to steal her husband. These were grown middle-aged women going at it in public at a time when respectable women didn't even cuss. It ended with Aunt Irene saying, "I've never ever wanted to be within 10 feet of your hairy-assed man and if you say another word I will deck you where you stand!" I don't know if I was more amazed, shocked or impressed (probably all three).

[@transsnack]

Your flabbers were gasted, lol.

[@Lyla_Daemon765]

Petty Potato Army ASSEMBLE

[@nancyrosanelli8459]

We leave at dawn! 😂

[@alixenglish7335]

ASSSSSEMMMMBBBBLLLLLEEEEE!!!! 👹

[@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes]

Good Morning!

[@Lyla_Daemon765]

@@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes Good morning, fellow potato!!😊

[@fizzydizzystudios4768]

ASSEMBLE!!!

[@CoutureAndCode]

“You don’t have to lie to a woman, because if she loves you enough, she’ll lie to herself…” That line actually stopped me in my tracks watching this video. I actually had to pause it and go sit outside somewhere quiet for a few minutes. I was NOT ready for that level of insight, but I def needed it.

[@redheadnerdrage]

"Look at me when I talk to you"... the way his head would've been knocked off his shoulders... whewwww boy, absolutely not.

[@DawnKellyMedia]

It was ruder than that. "Look at me when I speak to you." I know it's only one word, but it makes it so much worse.

[@hellowendy1029]

​@DawnKellyPhotography isn't it funny that one word can change how rude the sentence is? You're absolutely right, speak is so much more disrespectful than talk!

[@gloriaalex11]

It was ruder even than that. Missed another word. He said "Look at me when I f*cking speak to you." Dude just showed her who he is. Controlling and abusive.

[@carliesacutieface]

My husband is a drummer in a metal band and by the end of their shows, his shirt is off because he gets so overheated with the lights, movements, etc. Once at a show, there was a very intoxicated young lady standing near me who, loudly, told her friend,"IM GONNA F*CK THAT DRUMMER TONIGHT!!!" I just laughed to myself. The best reaction is none at all, trust ya partner and you have nothing to worry about 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@DawnKellyMedia]

She seems like such a nice young lady....... I know she's a hit at parties.

[@elisabethdoss1953]

"[It takes hardly effort to make your significant other happy.]" SO TRUE. It's been a long week at work and my husband surprised me with a "Positive Potato" and had no idea I've been wanting to get one. Seriously made me realize again why I love him. Best, most random and goofy gift but one of the best in our six years together.

[@marycasanova8905]

Wow. My mom did me a great service by telling me that a person is supposed to be a real friend, we need to mutually respect each other, and be able to talk, or not talk and be fine with it. All this crazy stuff is unthinkable. Walk the first second someone treats you like trash.

[@LiMoo02]

Listening to other people's conversations is literally my #1 favourite activity.😂 But it's then so hard to not get involved and not know how the drama ends😂

[@qryptid]

Yess I want to hear the tea but I also need closure!

[@marcieanderson6601]

You are literally my pallette cleanser. I love how absolutely real you are and unafraid to show it.

[@BetterThanBoredom8999]

Re: the woman dating Church Guy, some of the most toxic relationships I've even witnessed or experienced have been between "church people." Romatic and friendship alike. The culture I have in mind gets sooo caught up on how they should be acting, that they became the most inauthentic and hurtful people I have ever encountered. WWJD my ass!

[@shioriryukaze]

You don't have to lie to a woman because if she loves you enough. She'll lie to herself....man, that hit so deep. A woman can be so strong and so Self-assured that she can sabotage herself without anybody else's help😥😥😥

[@SaguaroBlossom]

"Once you're older, you'll realize that the pain of living with him is better than the pain of living without him." Told her "I know it shouldn't hurt to be in love." I always remember this conversation when I was ~16 (late 90's) a slightly older friend came to church with a black eye and broken arm. (and hugely pregnant) She married at 18 to escape her horribly abusive father (eldest of 11 kids) to an abusive man and immediately got knocked up. (intentionally on her side)

[@friv_0881]

The perfect comeback response to the first woman, who warns all the other women around her to stay away from her new boyfriend and not to get any ''Ideas'' Would be to instantly put a concerned and innocent look on your face as you respond back '' Oh no, why? does he have a history of cheating/infidelity??!!" Effectively putting the woman in her place, by inferring that : 1)YOU are not a cheater and DON'T Want her man, 2) Men are just as responsible for instigating adulterous affairs as the other woman would be.

[@sarahhunter1114]

Ladies, my husband had a friend that lived with his gf for 10 years or so. She would bug him about committing and at least getting engaged. She was in the same situation, living in his home. After 10 years, he decided to trade up, so to speak, and broke up with her for a hotter, younger girl. SHE GAVE HIM THE BEST YEARS OF HER LIFE, AND HE JUST DROPPED HER WHEN IT WAS CONVENIENT! Always have a plan! Don’t let him treat you like the maid that gets him off from time to time. If a man isn’t willing to commit, it’s for a reason.

[@elodieelvira7913]

Don’t call it the “best years” of her life cause she was with him so those were probably the worst years. Unless you’re using the same used tropes toxic podcast bros refer to as “fertile years”, in that case please stop

[@alphawhiskey2922]

Yup.. and she'll be learning that lesson here pretty soon.

[@magicimaginations]

Be with a toxic guy long enough and yes no matter how fat and ugly THEY get, they still think that they can get a younger girl easy, that's their immature mentality

[@ChaosTheoriesLuxe]

I think everyone should be able to support themselves if a relationship goes pearshaped. However, not wanted to marry doesn't mean that someone can't be in a lifelong commited relationship. Personally, I don't like the origins of marriage and has never been married. My partner is divorced and has asked but isn't pushing. I said i would consider it (something I wouldn't agree to in past relationships) but because it would make him happy.

[@MrBiggles53]

The man didn’t commit to that low value woman for a reason: he didn’t have to thanks to feminism. She was eager to have sex and move in with him and SHE CHOSE TO for 10 years! Why would you waste more than 6 months dating someone if you weren’t aiming to marry? Are you just afraid of being alone? She’s a modern, adult woman; she could have proposed, then if he balked, dumped him. For thousands of years, in nearly every culture, it was common sense to marry, then live together and have sex and babies; but all of a sudden in the 60s feminists knew better and this is the result.

[@DrummerrDuckie]

We need more love and appreciation for the editor! I died from laughter when I saw the buffet of food with the lil potato in the centre that said "emotional support" on it 🤣🤣🤣

[@BiteSizedStories5]

My then boyfriend (now husband) paid my rent for a year while he was on tour in Honduras in the Air Force! I didn’t ask him to do it! He saw I was struggling to keep up on all my bills so he started paying my bills and then my rent! We got married half way through his tour which was 6 months. He had a 2 week break so his family and mine met up in Las Vegas and we had a beautiful small wedding and then he went back to finish the last 6 months of his tour. We’re coming up on our 17th wedding anniversary this July! We got married when we were 23 after dating for a year before he had to leave and now 18 years later we couldn’t be happier! 😊❤ My husband is still amazing and helpful especially now that I’m disabled and I can’t work anymore.

[@lilscenechick1995]

I love that for you ❤

[@BiteSizedStories5]

@@lilscenechick1995 thank you! ❤️

[@Ayelet.M]

Only in my mid 20s I finally understood the quote: we accept the love we think we deserve “. And about the flowers on valentines are not everyone’s love language. For me, if my partner cooks and does the dishes makes me much happier than flowers. Sharing fun and special moments are far more valuable to me. And I know that my partner appreciate it when I give him a massage after a long day than a new watch. Find ways to appreciate your partner (and yourself) and things will fall into place ❤

[@lkf8799]

I kind of agree with you but that's only if both people feel that way about the commercialization of holidays. It's obviously important to her so in their relationship it's hurtful for him to neglect her that way.

[@empath9814]

I had an ex that acted like her's I guarantee he doesn't do anything sweet for her. Different love languages don't mean you should neglect your partners love language just because it's different.

[@nemesisnyr9494]

And valentines is not even important

[@nemesisnyr9494]

​@@lkf8799yeah but she can't force him to play it, and she didn't seem to do anything for him either. And valentines is useless, you don't need excuse to gifts things, and putting him like this on social media ? Get a life girl, she's clearly a trouble makers in seek of attention

[@LadyLubdan]

Holidays are super important to me. My hubby had better get me something. I don't care if it's a card or just a little handwritten note. Or make me dinner or SOMETHING. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just an acknowledgement. My hubby passed away but he was the love of my life. We got a lot of shit because I was 30 and he was 63. But he was my angel. He brought me coffee in bed in the morning and I'd run his feet at night. It's just about taking care of each other.

[@kaybadberg534]

21:09 It took a second for Charlotte to process what he said, and I actually thought “she didn’t hear what she said.” I think the audacity of that man made her buffer for a second.

[@elizabethmitchell0071]

That girl renovating for free...keep updated with her tiktok. When those renos are done, shes going to be posting how "all this time he's been cheating on me and now they're getting married". OR plot twist, she's renovating the home, he's banking her rent$ to pay for their wedding...maybe...llol

[@fernmiranda]

The only wedding he is paying for is for the next girl.

[@elizabethmitchell0071]

Yep lol

[@wickiwo1098]

EIGHT YEARS together. He's biding his time until the renos are done, then SHE'S done. Please don't get pregnant with this guy.

[@imjayhime]

In sync? But yeah, for sure. She needs to wake up and get out of that house before it gets to that point

[@Nylak-Otter]

Haha, I did that with my partner, who is living with me in my/our house. I spent all her "rent" to pay for her university debt when she graduated with her doctorate, and paid off the house myself, since I have a higher income than her and I love having a well-educated lady. But I'm also a woman, and I wasn't expecting her to renovate my property. She, uh, helped with that of her own accord. 😅 Still not married, though. Sometimes it's not right for some folks, and it's not for me. Doesn't make me less committed. I consider it our house, even though it's in my name and I paid for it. We now just split the utilities, and I cover the cost of maintenance, renovations and property taxes. And yes, we were together before the purchase of the house. I was in a place where I could afford it, and she couldn't.

[@lovehilaryanne]

When you do an everything shower and get stood up... the few days after with the 'regrowth phase' just piss you off even more

[@gloriaalex11]

I literally had an everything shower today and my boyfriend was sick and had to cancel. So next time he gets what he gets. 😂

[@liveyourbestlife143]

My favorite thing my husband does is when he leaves me snacks in the shape of a heart. Always makes my day.

[@DawnKellyMedia]

That's so sweet! 😍

[@a_shiggy_person]

Awww that's adorable

[@foxetalez]

The girl renovating the house... You're just a work-horse to him!!!!!!!

[@eh1319]

In my country some people see this as economic abuse aka taloudellinen hyväksikäyttö / väkivalta A former acquaintance of mine had a 10 year relationship where they had children and she would pay day care, their childrens clothing and medical bills as he would buy expensive electronics, buy things for his hobbies and get wasted etc. Both kids are his also. They separated of course and it was a 💩show to be witnessed.

[@imbrandon16]

95% of the time it’s the exact same scenario but the shoes on the other foot, the dudes paying all the bills and paying and slaving away doing all the new renovations you guys find on TikTok and Pinterest, so what’s the problem when one of you does it? You guys literally expect that same shit

[@sandybrandtmurals]

That is so true and so sad.

[@elodieelvira7913]

@@imbrandon16gtfoh with this toxic grbage. You men made the rules that YOU MUST PROVIDE so why DAFUQ you want to be mad about the rules your forefathers made???

[@imbrandon16]

@@elodieelvira7913 u bitches mad because u gonna work and provide for us now. U wanted to work so bad. Well time to spend some of that money on bills. Drizzle drizzle

[@sherylemoyle6562]

Charlotte, your face during the first story, was priceless.

[@ssk_ssk04]

24:16 this girl gets it. Light turns red and she stopped. Only if everyone was like her. Noone wud hv toxic exes nd all toxic ppl would be miserable nd lonely together.

[@AmethystEyes]

It felt cathartic to listen to the last woman know her worth and get out of that relationship, after we listened to the other women who didn’t.

[@aurorachevalier3476]

The one about flowers is so true, omg. My bf bought me a single yellow rose once and because it was also the symbol my late grandmother used for everything I immediately cried happy tears, saying that was my grandmother's color rose, but he made my day. We've been together for 5 years and are now expecting our first and only baby!

[@lenasamzelius5530]

Charlotte, bestie, you're wise beyond your years! "You accept what you think you deserve." Beautiful! Spread the word!

[@cristianaralucaolteanu3054]

Dude, when she said " If you're not improving my life then what the he'll you'll be doing here" 👏👏👏😊

[@sherrimoliverthompson8388]

My experience with that kind of switch up is most definitely a "put you in your place" type thing but it wasn't because he was interested in another. It was narcissistic behavior designed to intimidate and confuse. It's a control tactic. If she strong willed enough to know better, he will either give up and leave or double down and become stalker.

[@BigT2664]

I agree, Charlotte. A little bit of jealousy is a reminder that you have the hots for each other. Too much jealousy means you don't trust each other.

[@melinam7216]

As someone who grew up in the Bible Belt as soon as I heard “church guy” I said GIRL RUN!!!

[@chaoticoverdrive27]

Same 🙃

[@lorrainemcgrail6315]

“He’s a good Christian man” red flag.

[@melinam7216]

@@lorrainemcgrail6315 exaaaaaaactly 😅

[@yourweirdnessisperfection]

In the last four years of our 12-year relationship, my husband started giving me flowers for any special occasion. My birthday, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, and our two anniversaries. Every time he comes home with the flowers - from a flower shop, custom order in relation to my favorite colors - I get so happy that I keep the kids off his back all WEEK. I don't fight, I let things go easily, I am sweeter when I talk to him. Everything just becomes blissful to me. It started with just my birthday. I guess he noticed the benefits he received from just buying me a bouquet of flowers that he extended it to all special dates. I will say, he tried just getting me Costco flowers, but I only accept those if it's random flowers. For special occasions, I better get a custom bouquet from an actual flower shop, I know that costs just as much as a bouquet from Target and they're ten times better, that's the least you can do after the shit I deal with on a daily basis 🤣 😂

[@eggnogalcoholic]

7:09 I’m so confused by the logic of a narcissist like this. You’re allowed to openly cheat, but as soon as she looks at a car that looks like her ex-boyfriend, she’s betrayed you??? The double standard is INSANE

[@alextheawkward8792]

I had an ex who was convinced I was cheating on him, even if it was unreasonable, turns out, he was the one cheating on me! I've read that cheaters tend to project a lot on their partners, must be true.

[@EH23831]

It’s called projection - narcissism 101

[@fionam7768]

Ah, *that's* where u r going wrong: you're using "logic" in the same sentence that "narcissist" is in...

[@Caremmn]

The girl dating the boyfriend for 8yrs, paying rent to live in his house, while also paying to remodel HIS home......... Girl.. KNOW YOUR WORTH. He's not that into you. He's keeping you around until he finds his WIFE, which is NOT you. I pray you realize this because you deserve better from someone.

[@user-nd3tg5zn1b]

Truth!

[@roll3886]

And I just have this gut feeling that when he does find somebody else, she's going to be making tiktoks and crying about how she was blindsided and never saw it coming.

[@justpeachy4380]

It sounds like he us using her. And when he thinks he finds someone better he is going to leave her high and dry with nowhere to go.

[@aubs4]

It’s just not sitting well with me that even after watching that TikTok of that woman being logical and respectful about it, Charlotte still blamed the woman in the relationship saying “she’s allowing it”. Especially after doing the opposite about the previous TikTok? Talking about how in those relationships you become willing to excuse that behavior and not realize how awful you’re being treated and it’s not your fault, but it’s this woman’s fault bc she’s not in the aftermath realizing she deserved better yet? You’re either a girl’s girl or you’re not. I do love Charlotte and watching her videos but some of the stuff she says is not very supportive of women or is contradictory of other things she says/declares she believes in. And it just bugs me because she has an audience of people who can be easily influenced to agree with her and follow her example. Just like the woman says in the tiktok talking about the woman in this relationship paying rent, Charlotte and everybody else doesn’t know everything about what goes on in this woman’s relationship but with how she’s convinced that there’s nothing wrong with this situation it reminds me of how I was in a relationship where I was manipulated and abused and mentally emotionally manipulated and abused to believe that it was justified and my fault and not as bad as it actually was. I spent a lot of time trying to convince the people that cared about me that I didn’t isolate from that it was okay and defending him and justifying things. It was not my fault that I was treated that way and manipulated and abused into staying and believing it was something that it wasn’t. My own mother told me after I left that I was letting him do that to me, that’s extremely harmful and a disgusting thing to say to someone who is being treated horribly. This woman could possibly be getting manipulated into thinking there’s nothing wrong with her situation as well, it seems to be likely in my opinion, but nobody knows and that’s my point. Even if she’s not it could be similar to the situation in the previous TikTok where Charlotte herself was saying she had been in a situation like that too. So I feel like she should be more understanding about it yk? Maybe Charlotte saying that does make me take it more personally but I don’t think it’s okay to say that to/about someone blaming them for “letting” someone treat them badly. Sorry this is long as hell but I feel like it needs to be addressed. And this is absolutely no hate towards Charlotte I’m just talking about something she said that’s bugging me, I and other people don’t have to agree with everything a KZbinr/public figure/influencer says or does. Just stating my opinion

[@teajoh]

You can have sympathy for someone and the situation they’re in and also agree it’s something they’re allowing/doing to themselves. It isn’t necessarily a hateful comment to say she’s allowing it because she is. Regardless of the background reason for that.

[@PopstAhri]

I hate receiving flowers and cannot comprehend how it is seen as thoughtful. Bringing me something dying that I must flutily attempt to keep alive is not my definition of "thoughtful." Now, ice cream... I could get behind that. Sushi? Aw hell yeh. A cute sweater, cute socks, a card with something kind written on it... to me, are way more thoughtful than flowers.

[@LinDeGenette]

The "rent" should be to buy her way into the house since she is putting her time and labour into that house, which amount to a lot of value each month 😤 The 50/50 split can be on groceries, water, electricity etc if he insists on it. No way I'm paying to live in a dump that isn't mine 😨

[@judehey-6058]

😂lmao after being married 31 years I'll bring my husband places and make him talk to women I'm avoiding so I can go talk to people I like😂😂😂 He's hilarious and engaging and will talk to a wall and I've heard all his stories so I'm just sharing the wealth hahaha. He's a great sport tho, that's one of the secrets to a long and happy marriage. You gotta be a good sport. Also give grace, laugh at everything, and be each others biggest fan.

[@DawnKellyMedia]

😂

[@icarusbinns3156]

The first one… oh my. I was at a party, many years ago, and ran into a guy I thought I recognized. Damn near spit out my drink when he used my deadname! He recognized me! My best friend from when we were 3! He moved when we were 7. Haven’t seen him since. Until that party. We get talking, catching up on what life has happened. His girl comes swooping over, glaring daggers at me. We did finally convince her that no, we’d be an awful couple. We see each other as siblings, and I have a wife! I don’t want any man when I have my woman!

[@namethestars]

37 and single as a pringle & proud of that. Truth being told and especially after hearing these stories.. I'm not sure I ever want to be in one; could be jaded because a 10 yr abusive relationship did damage me but I don't see anything wrong being single at ANY age. Do what you want boo, it's our life to live, no one else's.

[@Meanne77]

yes, THANK YOU!

[@Le_Inke]

I'm 40, been single for 8 years and I've never been happier. For real.

[@StudlyFudd13]

29 and single, never dated anyone and honestly I am cool with that. I have my bestfriend, a good relationship with my brother (rest of my family not so much) and a good job. I'm happy right now. Maybe in the future I will find someone to date, but I am not holding my breath.

[@hanamarcetic5923]

"you don't need to lie, if she loves you enough she'll lie to herself" - and there is the summary of the relationship with my ex 😂

[@KnawedOne]

Not gonna lie, this truth really hit me hard. 😳

[@mikimishisa]

😢y j

[@tina6651.]

My daughter & now son-in-law were high School sweethearts & together for 9 years before they married last year, he still brings her a bouquet of flowers every week so she has fresh flowers on the kitchen table. I just absolutely love that kid & couldn't ask for a better son-in-law ❤️

[@AzizaLoves]

That first lady... Well, this is why i join the kids colouring on the floor 😂 you still hear all the 'drama', kids talk alot (without you even asking them anything), but you don't have to deal with the adulting crap going on in these social gatherings 😅

[@DawnKellyMedia]

I did that once and it was so much more fun. Lol. They had those magnetic squares and triangles! Those are cool!

[@jeannieecker6549]

I've been with my man now for 10yrs and he always brags about me to everyone and anyone he meets.. And he always says one of the best things about me is the freedom i give him.. For example if he wants to go out and party with his boys all he needs to do is tell me.. He just told me about a camping trip hes planning with his best friend in a few weeks.. See i have a lot of health issues and it's hard for me to get out of the house but im not going to let that stop HIM FROM LIVING HIS LIVE.. I trust him 100% he always tells me he knows where his dinner and im the best thing hes ever had and he's planning on spending the rest of his life with me.. He tells me a million times a day how much he loves me and how much i mean to him.. I waited a long time for him (we met when i was 35) and i hope we have a long life together.. Back to the video..

[@DawnKellyMedia]

😍 that's awesome! My husband and I are the same. I told him I'm going to Vegas in June. Not to party, but still. Ok! I could tell him I'm going to Europe with my friends and he'd say ok. Lol We trust each other. 21 years married!