The DUMBEST JoJo theories on the Internet!

[@chewiedog1]

www.youtube.com/@catfantasyen

[@BolleIsSerious]

I prefer big, buff, crazily masculine Stands to use for fights

[@jotarokujo_xd]

@@BolleIsSerioussame man, same

[@Ze_chef69]

No no no

[@Hakari-lets-go-gambling]

chewie are you gonna vote for me. trump has had two assassinations and harris is harris im best vote

[@BolleIsSerious]

@@Hakari-lets-go-gambling I will vote for you too

[@weaponized_autismm]

0:50 how much did they pay you

[@Joe-yr3wx]

LMFAO

[@hukur772]

not enough

[@joeyboi2388]

Not a lot it seems. Bro sounds depressed during that ad read

[@Naz-f1y]

Not enough

[@DuoDingDong]

Doesnt seem like a lot

[@yogHurt-pe6dm]

The "contractual obligation" aspect of that sponsor really shined

[@Satenthebird]

Fr

[@Crabgar]

Week 1: Cat girl sponsor money Week 2: 1:26 ICE SOUP

[@toastybeanie]

We can hear just how defeated Chewie sounded reading that sponsor

[@johnkearns7244]

"EVERYONE HAS PTSD" honestly, thats just kinda true at this point. You don't come out of a Jojo arc without ending up a little messed up.

[@hredjdjdj1952]

you can feel his pain and unintrest in the game while he talks about it

[@BolleIsSerious]

I mean this game kinda seems (at least for me) like a basic anime-themed fighting game with sexualized characters to attract all Discord-Mods

[@somethingclever4297]

​@@BolleIsSeriousthe character designs aren't even that good. It says how they are all based off of cat breeds, but I wonder how. They just look like they have cat ears slapped on them.

[@BolleIsSerious]

@@somethingclever4297 Exactly. They just look like the over-sexualized Cat-Waifu or A cat-maid

[@Expld]

@@somethingclever4297I’ve seen Roblox catboys with better color coordination ngl

[@crouchbar]

@@Expldits sad that its true… 50 year old men do better than an entire team of people…

[@8tober]

I can hear chewie holding his laughter (or crying) while doing that sponsor

[@Im_a_blue_bomber]

Same

[@imbentif51]

he definitely is about to laugh, i was laughing the whole time i was watching the sponsor

[@quirkquark]

bro better have had the FATTEST paycheck after that one 💀💀

[@Shadow-uz8uf]

What is this sponsor😭😭🙏💀

[@jasonngo1966]

I feel bad for my dawg😭😭😭😭free mah boi😭😭😭💀💀💀

[@olivia2405]

Fr running low on rent money 🙏

[@eugoth4285]

whatever pays the bills man

[@josuen1818]

You could tell bro was holding back his laugh

[@JogoatTheStrongestCurse]

At least it isn’t temu

[@toastybeanie]

4:48 Technically he isn’t wrong considering that there is at least one death in the infinite death loop where Diavolo gets crucified for being the messiah.

[@somethingclever4297]

I thought it was about how Diavolo was a virgin birth.

[@sassas1487]

there are infinite numbers between 2 and 3, but none of then are 4. Think about it

[@laravioliiii2832]

@@sassas1487 there are infinite numbers between 2 and 3, ad one of them is 2.777784444746666. Think about it.

[@emirlerdtm6774]

​@@sassas1487Wait,thats a very interesting thing to think about.

[@UnohanaMash]

@@sassas1487 that's a different form of infinity. it is clearly stated that Diavolo would die an infinite amount of deaths. However, the amount of possible deaths in a certain space or form are limited. Meaning he has to die every single death possible to "fulfill" this infinity prerequisite. Can't compare that with numerical infinity though

[@GiornoJoestar]

Technically, for the Jotaro has PTSD theory, in Diamond is Unbreakable, he says he can only stop time for half a second cause he hasn't used it in a while.

[@MisterIncog]

and then he uses it on his uncle to catch a hat or smth. real sign of ptsd right here

[@death-conscious]

Also this theory does make sense, idk why Chewie completely disregards it. He literally watched his friends and family die or almost die, of course that is traumatic

[@ToXicminez]

Chewie really getting that bag 😂 barely holding it together for that cat video

[@VEKTOR_]

idk about ptsd one, he was clearly shitting his pants when he saw pucci throw knives

[@MisterIncog]

it's almost like those knives were thrown into his fucking daughter huh

[@PuppetEEE]

i swear didn't he like actually have one of those ptsd yells/scream things when he stopped time and saw those knives? i think he definitely has some ptsd cuz like who wouldnt?

[@lxx_jpg]

@@PuppetEEE tf else was he gonna do, not use the ultra convenient power of stopping time to save his daughter from knives being thrown at her 😭🙏 ngas expect him to sit there in peace as his daughter gets packed up in the same way as his grandfather 🤦🏾‍♂

[@cultofmel]

@@lxx_jpg istg jojo fans got the reading comprehension of middleschoolers sometimes. bro was NOT saying "jotaro stopping time = ptsd" he was saying "when jotaro stopped time his reaction to the knives was similar to how people with ptsd react to re-experiencing their trauma"

[@lxx_jpg]

@@cultofmel on everything i love i swear i read that somewhere when i typed out that comment, maybe it was in the video or smthn but the 2nd point i made still stands and he’s still wrong anyways 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@tristandaries1129]

Bro talks about the most masculine and homosexual anime series ever known to man and gets a sponsor from cringe catgirls

[@Biggest_Con]

You can tell he was holding back his laughter

[@Brawlstar-vv9i]

He was held at gunpoint

[@fpxha]

Plot twist The dude who said Diavolo was Jesus was cooking, I'm pretty sure he was talking about how in his infinite deaths, anything can happen as long as he dies and it will tehnically be considered canon. Diavolo became Jesus, reenacted his life and died on the cross to save us from our sins. So yes. This is technically canon.

[@BrandonLung]

Ofc

[@Vonstroheim44]

So diavolo fucking your mom is also canon

[@AznYunHou]

Technically also Diavolo was born from a virgin too if there were no men in that jail.

[@a_man_with_a_plan]

this actually got me thinking, if you get good enough rng in the infinite death loop would you eventually get the world over heaven or other crazy shit like that? eventually you'll get an ability so busted you'd be able to escape the infinite death loop.

[@BrandonLung]

@@a_man_with_a_plan Nice thought, but it would have to end with Diavolo's "death" to be considered canon.

[@bevere8226]

10:30 this theory comes from the idea that Chariot Requiem was going towards Morioh in the east, but that doesn't make any sense since the whole requiem thing starts in the Colosseum, and the final battle happens in front of Castel Sant'Angelo, which is to the west of the Colosseum, so actually Chewie's theory that it was bringing the Arrow to Detroit is more probable

[@JER3M1AH221]

YOU CAN'T HAVE $#!T IN DETROIT!!! Though they're not in Detroit, but you get the idea.

[@eemelikorteniemi3966]

Maybe Jotaro was with his daughter for once

[@VagaBond6921]

Personally, I really like the Jotaro has PTSD theory. It makes sense. Anyone would have PTSD after fighting a centuries old vampire who hates you because of your great great grandfather

[@SkyQuakee]

I have never seen someone this uninterested on an ad before, how the fuck did the company agree with that ad read????

[@TheOmegagoldfish]

I theorize that just like how people with Stands are congregated towards one another, having a Stand subconsciously makes you pick the most outrageous outfit you can find. Yoshikage Kira resisted this the longest but he eventually gave into the urges when he unlocked Bites The Dust.

[@zachcoats4849]

PTSD one is pretty valid. The point towards the Theory isn't that Jotaro doesn't Use star platinum, but more that he uses it far less frequently. I remember that it is explained somewhere that star platinum cannot stop time as long in later parts because Jotaro simply isn't using star platinum as often. You could chalk this up to not needing to use it but I think the PTSD theory is a valid enough interpretation.

[@DimoB8]

Yeah I do believe in that theory. A 17 year old that had half his friends and his grandfather die (he survived though) , while fighting a crazy superpowered Vampire IS probably going to have some stress from that event. But there isn't a big obvious moment that confirms it. (Well, besides his scream when he saw Pucci throw the knives at Jolyne, like Dio)

[@zachcoats4849]

@@DimoB8 Agreed. It isn't hard confirmed but I believe it's really plausible and the theory adds to the story

[@redjarvis]

you sound like you were being held at gunpoint during the ad read

[@felentelechy]

I always loved the idea of suzie q finding out joseph cheated and him panicking and pretending to be senile when she confronts him about it but then being stuck in a lie where he has to keep on doing weird, humiliating things to keep suzie from chewing him out

[@benadrylcabbagepatch2527]

I have a new headcanon

[@CERISTHEDEV]

Plus the reason why he hates going to japan is because he fears encouterings josukes mom

[@gokunenn4243]

@CERISTHEDEV He hated Japan before he knew Josuke even existed...

[@Skuzzley]

The ad is WILD

[@ramendude9067]

What about the theory that Tequila Joseph is my wife? Hm?

[@Outofcontexst]

Sounds legit

[@benadrylcabbagepatch2527]

Based…

[@nathanbray7221]

What if Hawk Tuah was actually Pet Shop???? 🤔

[@chewiedog1]

I like this one

[@theincrediblegeneral5135]

:(

[@luiz-qq7dh]

How do i give money to a commenter

[@Nmizlam]

Hey but that's just a theory. A JOJO THEORY

[@gamingbasilisk]

But hey not hey but 😭

[@head-clanka69]

(Meme at least 5 years older than the video) Thanks for watching

[@maxfish2018]

​@@gamingbasiliskstill works

[@ghostguy76]

I could hear in his voice his effort in trying not to laugh during that ad segment

[@domialex2289]

cat fantasy 😭😭

[@rock-hv6ns]

Delete the video, I can't watch it rn

[@obnoxiousadventures2835]

agreed

[@F1rstNameLastName]

fr fr

[@Valentina_kujo]

LMAO

[@toastybeanie]

Yes please, I’m playing Risk of Rain 2 rn🙏

[@herobrinegamemaster]

Oh hell nah

[@ordo3297]

I love this ad read, his enthusiasm holds no bounds. You catch that bag.

[@that_Random_Cake]

Jotaro has ptsd stopped using star platinum and is blue and bald.

[@gamingbasilisk]

Thank you that_random_cake, youre one or our best theorists

[@that_Random_Cake]

@@gamingbasilisk No problem 🍷🍷🍷

[@JJ-zy1co]

Never seen a more sarcastic and fake sponsor segment in my life lmao, don't worry bro someday you won't need Little Caesar's for dinner

[@CanvasCannibal]

“Whatever pays the bills” ahh ad

[@llamascheese8972]

9:34 In a roundabout way, this is potentially partially true. Araki has never actually made any statement on it, but the detail that stone free smells like soap, according to the stand stats page, potentially implies it is a reference to charmy green (Soap brand) which is the stand of Jota Kujo, from the infamous "Kakyoin did you lay this egg" Clamp story. Charmy green combines Star Platinum and Heirophant Green's abilities, having lots of physical strength, and the ability to unwind into tentacle strands, similar to the powers of Stone free. Unfortunately, Stone free doesn't have "Emerald finger splash" where Jota can shoot emeralds and also grow his fingers as one attack, wow so cool (!) So in a roundabout way, DAITO the Oni was cookin'

[@theduckking664]

Bro was fighting laughter and tears reading that sponsor

[@Blaze_1379]

i could hear him holding in his laughter during that sponsor 💀💀💀💀

[@NahNue]

i like how you can tell he just is doing the ad for the money, and just hates the game

[@BolleIsSerious]

We all have our desperate moments😖

[@ignis1984]

4:55 Diavolo died on the cross

[@ohcadin6590]

I like how this explains it just enough to where a jojo fan might be able to get it, yet it is still 109% as insane as the original idea proposed...

[@adco9850]

The only reason Joseph would fake being senile, is because he wants to fuck with people, which when put that way makes sense

[@benadrylcabbagepatch2527]

Yeah I was gonna say the same thing. Being really committed to the bit would be very in-character for him

[@elm8436]

Chewie, for your health (mental and physical) I really REALLY hope they paid you good for that sponsor.

[@АтанасГеоргиев-ц7л]

That sponsor was "interesting" but atleast its not raid shadow legends or block blast

[@Glorpydorpydoo]

The bills cannot be that high bro😭

[@SylasCorrea]

😂

[@AAUTOB4HN]

Bills can't be this high

[@lorcan7733]

wow, what an incredible sponsored segment, surely i will download cat fantasy and spend a lot of money on it!

[@purringraven3648]

you can feel him trying to hold back his laughter while talking about the "contractual obligation"

[@antitheist3206]

Kakyoin's parents not knowing where he is sounds hilarious. I mean, what were the heroes supposed to tell them? "Sorry, your son died from getting punched by a 120-year-old vampire in Egypt. But on the bright side, he helped save a woman you've never met from a virus that we can't describe without sounding a little sexist."

[@gokunenn4243]

I find it hilarious he never told them anyrhing to begin with. The Speedwagon foundation could have made up a lot of cover ups. How are we not supposed to take the milf hunter memes seriously when the guy just leaves school and his family to travel around the world to save this random woman that was kind to him?

[@dechnukk3761]

"I am contractually obligated to tell you about-" *BVVVWEEE BOOM* "Nessuno può sfuggire al destino che è stato scelto per loro. Tutto ciò che rimane è la fine in cui tutti voi perite. L'eterna grandezza risiede solo in me stesso. Canta una canzone di dolore in un mondo in cui il tempo è svanito"

[@mustardwizard]

7:09 this shot of "jotaro's" shadow was actually an unrelated large duck

[@yadanshdutt2775]

Rent CANNOT be THAT high my boi😭🙏 Someone save him😭😭

[@random_yt_enjoyer]

Bro was genuinely edging us with matpat 😭 🙏

[@LowTierGodly]

bro needed that sponsor money for his rent 😭😭💀💀

[@SomebodyAteMyCookies]

Bro sold his dignity for the bag to promote a damn cat waifu game 😭😭😭

[@ga_mmvii3022]

Dude, diavolo literaly translates to devil

[@D1hammer]

Baldtaro got me acting up...

[@nextirious6828]

bro did NOT wanna do that sponsor 😭🙏

[@Salsa_Dip]

We not getting another sponsor with this one 🗣🗣🗣

[@thatonecommentator7374]

Chewie reading that ad read like an isis hostage

[@Bone_Incidents]

7:32 HE USED TIME STOP (which would most likely be very triggering if Dio’s fight did cause PTSD) TWICE WHILE FIGHTING SHEER HEART ATTACK IN THE SPAN OF MINUTES.

[@MEHMETDOĞAÇAYTEMİZ]

Jotaro does have ptsd you can tell in the sceene where pucci trew a bunca knifes at jolyne he did a "AAAAAAAAAAAAH" aka ptsd scream (this is my stupid theory)

[@shinilow]

Alternate Title: Chewiedog's slow decline to insanity

[@obnoxiousadventures2835]

Guys, quick question, Is Chewiedog's character a Genie or something?

[@AtALossForWords]

Maybe

[@Ratatoohey]

yes because we all wish for more videos and the genie provides

[@PetarKitsune47]

i have a theory your hair is the sky of morioh so thats why the sky is always yellow

[@mustardwizard]

diavolo had a third personality we never see who's really 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

[@runh1699]

0:50 what is chewydog1 even about 😭🙏

[@the_reletubbyshorts4842]

A good video idea is the top 5 stands that could get you the most candy on halloween, cuz its spookey season soon.

[@nurdinator1779]

Pookiedog1 pls do the thug shake ALSO "gotta pay the bills" ahhhh sponsor

[@Wandering_Weeb]

Jotaro still has ptsd, it's shown clearly in part 6

[@ShockedTaiLung]

Incredible sponsor segment unironically

[@unknownstuff]

The jotaro PTSD would've been better with the jotaro vs pucci at the end of part 6 but they chose a random scene about kira 😭????

[@Harukinesis]

The disrespect to Hamon beat is hilarious

[@jojogacha974]

i love how obvious it is that he accepted the ad for the cash.

[@nikirol4051]

I was about to skip your ad segment the moment it starter, but then I heard the word "Catgirl". My jaw, literally, dropped, on, the , floor. Cat girls? The most perfect beings on this earth? No. This "Earth" doesn't even have them. Would a "real" perfect worl not have catgirs?. I don't think so! Welp, let's see. What if I were to become a girlcat? F### it, why don't you? If all of us were to become catgirls~, we would make this woulrd 30x better! (At least). I literally cannot live in thi s world, it's that bad. Like, my holy brother, how do you last your days in here without a fluffy head with ears on it that you can pet and let it meow at you cutely? The only reason I'm alive is because I know I can improve this world. Catgirl manufacturer number 1 is me. I am the catgirl. This is not over yet, you know. You will become a catgirl, you will see catgirls everywhere. Catgirls will happen. The world will recover. We pray. We trust. For the catgirls.

[@goldenjellyfish1523]

11:34 Hold on toetruck might be onto something

[@ammaraldabbagh3401]

The Joseph was never senile things imo is very plausible considering he’s a huge troll anyway, and shows fleeting moments of clarity.

[@CERISTHEDEV]

Considering that hamon makes you live longer and look younger (example being lisalisa being 55 in part 2) that would make sense he still has the same appereance that he had on part 3 and hes using the cane for the goofs (Plus confirmed by araoi that joseph is still alive as the events of stone ocean but hes "a bit senile" so he just startet to get senile arround that era)

[@gokunenn4243]

@CERISTHEDEV Araki never said Joseph was senile in part 6. Do not spread misinformation.

[@CERISTHEDEV]

@@gokunenn4243 inglish aint my first language i have no fricking ideia whats the correct word but araki indeed said that joseph is alive in part 6

[@YeetergoesYoot]

there is no way you needed money bad enough to accept that sponsor

[@PapryusMidnight680]

10:49 JOJO THEORY THE DUD WHO SAVED JOSUKE WAS CALLING YOU

[@christinatello4859]

i like how badly you did the ad read

[@SkyQuakee]

4:46 diavolo literally means "devil" in italian😭😭😭😭

[@pablojansen2080]

This sponsorship is insane

[@kingpeanut7273]

They better have paid you at least 10k for that ad because god damn

[@nedelcumarius6783]

Hypothetical speaking, Jotaro died from Mesopotamian Lobotomy

[@Donkussy]

Huniepop soundtrack in a JoJo video is diabolical

[@Reppen555]

ye i admit that f fish hook stand from part 5 sent serious chills down my spine

[@ravaniphoenix5431]

I actually been loving cat fantasy unironically these past days, and I done so because of ads, so I do recommend it and the marketing is on point. There's a Nekopara Collab going on, too. I dunno why that's not advertised, but it somehow ain't. So if you like Nekopara, and is interested in cat fantasy, then definitely do it right now. So great coincidence that I'm seeing a KZbinr be sponsored by it right now, when previously I only saw it in ads.

[@JanSchwietert]

It’s funny that he doesn’t mention the sun Glases

[@Toxic-Pyro]

That voice in the sponsorship is so painfully that I downloaded the game out of pity please get yourself something nice with the money big man

[@dekumidoriya2928]

Honestly i'm enclined to believe that Joseph isn't senile, simply because he'd find it funny to fuck with everyone and see how long it will take for Jotaro to notice, that would be hilarious

[@rainytempest3137]

Bro did not, want to take that sponsor

[@Shmlug]

My goat blink twise if your being held at gunpoint

[@Expld]

the bill CANNOT be this high 😭🙏

[@electricburst0986]

Cat fantasy might of just fixed my relationship

[@Scytherlover900]

12:26 Bro finally gave up 😭😭😭

[@obsidian_citadel437]

Here’s my thoughts on some of these theories: I actually do like the Chariot Requiem theory… it’s not like a stand that can track isn’t possible. And the Requiem Arrow basically gives you the perfect ability to serve your current goal card. (Giorno receiving the ability to nullify KC) - What Polnareff was trying to do was get the arrow away from Diavolo. So his requiem ability took that to full swing, developing its soul swap abilities to confuse the masses and reflects all stands to attack their user.

[@obsidian_citadel437]

I can see Jotaro having PTSD… he did watch his grandpa “die” and lost friends all on a trip with a dying mother. His whole character motif is that he’s calm collected only shows bursts of passion in his wrath to the unjust. One thing to consider is how his timestop dropped in length during p4… He did go to school for marine biology and that could be a reason he hasn’t used it and that’s a valid reason… or just as big of a reason is that [Star Platinum The World] reminds him of DIO. The fact he starts off p4 with a timestop during his scuffle with Josuke kinda debunks this point but it could very well be bc in tracking Angelo he had to get that practice back in. Also after his near death fight with Kira that’s why his time was scaled back up a bit in p6

[@killerwhale4189]

"Mista is probably bald"

[@oVENOMo.]

bro the bills can not be that much

[@WhitePresenting]

RIP Chewie, died of sponsor cringe

[@largob1594]

Chewiedog sponsor arc pog. Hope it never ends

[@HarrisonOnStage]

Bro picked a sponsor for the bit

[@JogoatTheStrongestCurse]

I think Jotaro probably got some trauma and some other fun issues in part 3, but not because of DIO’s blond hair. -But it’s such a coincidence that he calls koichi, a guy in a dark green school uniform with gold buttons, a reliable guy. I wonder who else might fit the description of wearing a dark green school uniform with gold buttons…- I might be putting too much thought into it, I’ll grab a donut to eat and think about it for a while. (it’s been like a year since I’ve watched part 3 and 4 so they might’ve addressed it and I forgot but if I’m told this is wrong enough I’ll delete it) Edit: I forgor that colours are inconsistent so disregard everything I just said. -At one point koichi was blue so I’m just dumb.- Edit 2: my apologies, he was blue in part 5, he was actually red at some points in part 4.

[@GavinRobles-mw2ww]

Never ever make that your sponsor again you under stand me Chewiedog1