Chris Voss: How to Succeed at Hard Conversations

In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in heated discussions.
#HubermanLab #ChrisVoss
Thank you to our sponsors
AG1: drinkag1.com/huberman
Plunge: plunge.com/huberman
ROKA: roka.com/huberman
InsideTracker: insidetracker.com/huberman
InsideTracker Giveaway: info.insidetracker.com/hydrow
Momentous: livemomentous.com/huberman
Huberman Lab Social & Website
Instagram: / hubermanlab
Threads: www.threads.net/@hubermanlab
Twitter: / hubermanlab
Facebook: / hubermanlab
TikTok: / hubermanlab
LinkedIn: / andrew-huberman
Website: hubermanlab.com
Newsletter: hubermanlab.com/newsletter
Chris Voss
The Black Swan Group: www.blackswanltd.com
MasterClass: bit.ly/45bL86o
Never Split the Difference (book): amzn.to/47Ng5Qv
Fireside Chriss Voss: bit.ly/46rMNWc
The Edge Newsletter: bit.ly/46hTj2f
Live Events: bit.ly/46cFDFM
KZbin: / blackswanltd1
LinkedIn: / christophervoss
X: / fbinegotiator
Facebook: / chrisvossnegotiation
Instagram: / thefbinegotiator
Articles
Human magnetic sense is mediated by a light and magnetic field resonance-dependent mechanism: go.nature.com/3PFQ5hP
Conscious processing of narrative stimuli synchronizes heart rate between individuals: bit.ly/48BegXl
Books
"Man Without a Gun : One Diplomat's Secret Struggle to Free the Hostages, Fight Terrorism, and End a War": amzn.to/3RfHTWv
"Beyond Winning: Negotiating to Create Value in Deals and Disputes": amzn.to/3uSBjOd
"The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time": amzn.to/4acfs4t
"The Full Fee Agent: How to Stack the Odds in Your Favor as a Real Estate Professional": amzn.to/3Nhe9Hp
Huberman Lab Episodes
Dr. Eddie Chang: The Science of Learning & Speaking Languages: bit.ly/46rUFaZ
How Smell, Taste & Pheromone-Like Chemicals Control You: bit.ly/45u3ik1
Dr. Robert Malenka: How Your Brain's Reward Circuits Drive Your Choices: bit.ly/459vqbH
Dr. Paul Conti: Therapy, Treating Trauma & Other Life Challenges: bit.ly/45g8Nmb
Timestamps
00:00:00 Chris Voss
00:02:18 Sponsors: Plunge & ROKA
00:04:59 Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness
00:11:41 Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music
00:18:59 “Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing
00:28:38 Generosity
00:32:46 Sponsor: AG1
00:33:44 Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration
00:39:40 Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip”
00:48:15 Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions
00:54:46 Negotiations, Fair Questions, Exhausting Adversaries
01:01:09 Sponsor: InsideTracker
01:02:18 “Vision Drives Decision”, Human Nature & Investigation
01:07:47 Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”
01:15:42 Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues
01:20:39 Online/Text Communication; “Straight Shooters”
01:26:47 Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience
01:32:16 Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes
01:37:35 Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling
01:45:17 Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation & Spirituality
01:51:41 Physical Fitness, Self-Care
01:57:01 Long Negotiations & Recharging
02:02:40 Hostages, Humanization & Names
02:08:50 Tactical Empathy, Compassion
02:15:27 Tool: Mirroring Technique
02:22:20 Tool: Proactive Listening
02:29:48 Family Members & Negotiations
02:35:21 Self Restoration, Humor
02:39:01 Fireside, Communication Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects
02:47:45 “Sounds Like…” Perspective
02:50:54 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, KZbin Feedback, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - www.blabacphoto.com
Disclaimer: www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

[@darrengagliardi1540]

As a lawyer I read (and later studied) Chris’ book thinking it would help me negotiate better deals. Instead, it went way deeper, and is turning me into an expert listener, which has helped in all areas of my life. Come to find out, the key to communication and influence is making the other party feel genuinely heard, and comfortable enough to open up to you. Aside from business, his stuff has made me a better husband and parent. Remarkable.

[@angelfranciscomorlaavila7310]

I read Chris' book with a lawyer's approach; but it brought me another world... This is amazing... I'll keep Never split the difference as a day-to-day friend.

[@homosexualbiologicalmaleonly]

that mean lyng so that the other one feel listened ......instead of listening truly .....

[@user-br6ve4lz6n]

I understand the advice to genuinely listen to people (I see it everywhere from self-help to Christ) and want badly to put it into practice, however I find I am more self-centered than I realized. When other people talk I find it intensely difficult to care. Curious if you or anyone has ever ran into that.

[@user-br6ve4lz6n]

@@homosexualbiologicalmaleonly I'm confused where you go the idea that one should lie from his post?

[@hroge85]

@@user-br6ve4lz6n 100% have been on the experiencing end of what you are describing and then what happens is we are "crying for help" letting the person know what we need as a human being and wanting to be heard, but they don't listen and it you feel like you are repeating yourself constantly and then when they don't understand they lash out and you are like like what? I have said this so many times.

[@jonmeisburg]

Here are 10 key points from the podcast interview with Chris Voss: 1. Approach negotiations with a playful, curious mindset. This allows you to see more opportunities and possibilities. 2. Pay attention to emotions - both your own and the other person's. Emotions impact our ability to process information accurately. 3. Physical and mental stamina are important in difficult conversations and negotiations. Pace yourself. 4. Try to determine early on if the other person is trustworthy and wants an agreement, or is just seeking exploitation. 5. Ask "how" and "what" questions to get the other side to think more deeply and reveal information. 6. Use mirroring (repeating key words) to show you are listening and get the other person to expand on their thoughts. 7. Be proactive in addressing predictable negative emotions - this can diffuse them before they escalate. 8. End relationships quickly and directly, rather than dragging things out. This is kinder in the long run. 9. Have self-care practices to manage stress and "dump the baggage" so you stay balanced. Humor and social support are key. 10. Small everyday interactions are opportunities to practice skills that prepare you for higher stakes negotiations. Here are some specific actions you can take to improve your life based on the key points you mentioned: * **Approach negotiations with a playful, curious mindset.** This means coming to the table with an open mind and a willingness to learn from the other person. It also means being creative and looking for opportunities to win-win. * **Pay attention to emotions - both your own and the other person's.** Be aware of your own body language and tone of voice, and try to stay calm and collected even if the other person is becoming emotional. If you sense that the other person is getting upset, try to de-escalate the situation by taking a break or changing the subject. * **Physical and mental stamina are important in difficult conversations and negotiations.** Make sure you are well-rested and have eaten a healthy meal before going into a negotiation. It is also helpful to take breaks throughout the conversation to stretch and clear your head. * **Try to determine early on if the other person is trustworthy and wants an agreement, or is just seeking exploitation.** You can do this by paying attention to their body language, tone of voice, and the way they speak to you. If you have any doubts about their trustworthiness, it is best to proceed with caution. * **Ask "how" and "what" questions to get the other side to think more deeply and reveal information.** Open-ended questions like these require the other person to explain their thinking and provide more details. This can help you to better understand their position and identify potential areas of compromise. * **Use mirroring (repeating key words) to show you are listening and get the other person to expand on their thoughts.** Mirroring is a simple but effective way to show the other person that you are paying attention and interested in what they have to say. It can also encourage them to share more information. * **Be proactive in addressing predictable negative emotions - this can diffuse them before they escalate.** If you know that a certain topic is likely to trigger a negative emotional response from the other person, try to address it early on in the conversation. This can help to prevent the situation from getting out of control. * **End relationships quickly and directly, rather than dragging things out. This is kinder in the long run.** If you are in a relationship that is no longer working, it is best to end it as quickly and directly as possible. This is the kindest thing to do for both you and the other person. * **Have self-care practices to manage stress and "dump the baggage" so you stay balanced. Humor and social support are key.** It is important to have self-care practices in place to help you manage stress and stay balanced. This could include things like exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, or talking to a therapist. Humor and social support are also important for mental health and well-being. * **Small everyday interactions are opportunities to practice skills that prepare you for higher stakes negotiations.** Every time you interact with another person, you are practicing negotiation skills. This could be something as simple as asking your friend to go to a different restaurant for dinner or negotiating a salary increase with your boss. The more you practice, the better you will become at negotiating. It is also important to remember that negotiation is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately. Just keep practicing and learning from your mistakes.

[@youngsdiscovery8909]

This is what I was looking for. Thanks

[@judyg2341]

WOW!!! Thank you for this 😅

[@juliettailor1616]

Fantastic! THANK YOU!

[@johnb9689]

Thank YOU for doing this!

[@karenking5910]

Great summary thank you 🙏

[@Bea54694]

The “gut sense” was my favorite part of this whole interview. I’ve always been able to tell when someone had bad intentions, even when they were the most well liked person in the room. I’ve learned over time to keep this to myself.

[@Yahookudi]

Always keep it to yourself. That's key. Never call them out.

[@lifeisgood5619]

Let the sheep do what they do. Your six sense will protect you.

[@afpseb4582]

this works like magic@@Yahookudi

[@kalash_nikov]

I think Dr Huberman is almost ready to have a conversation with people like Peter Levine, Bessel van der Kolk, Stephen Porges or even Gabor Mate. I'm genuinely surprised, and I don't say it to make a dig, that Dr Huberman just recently learned (or accepted) that our forebrain is the supercomputer that we used to think it is. I'm not sure if this is part of this realization, but most of the time the forebrain isn't even the deciding part. Just like Jonathan Haidt coined it - our forebrain/conscious thinking is the rider, and the limbic brain and amygdala/subconscious are the elephant. We, the rider, can try to nudge the elephant to go in a certain direction, and if it's calm and feels safe it might even listen, but the moment the elephant feels fear, threatened, etc. it will go wherever it wants, regardless of what the rider does.

[@zend666]

yah, last time ignore this i was sucked to very bad situation. Felt like i betray myself for not listening

[@LizardOnAMushroom2358]

I wish he narrated his own book. It's been so insightful, but his voice is so charismatic and I think it would elevate the audiobook experience to have him read it

[@Konrad111111]

To have him read it?

[@mirapilates]

I think an episode on improving verbal fluency would be very valuable. Coming from the brain/cognitive perspective on how to improve our speech abilities. Very valuable in work and personal lives.

[@thomask837]

Agreed!!!

[@magaxv1093]

Exactly what I was thinking about

[@vaca493]

Yeah I really struggle with this . I would like to be more fluent

[@JRad-ms2zw]

That would be a fascinating topic! Hopefully Dr Huberman takes note of thus suggestion!!!

[@lunahelena5329]

Yes absolutely! ❤

[@xolanindlovu6158]

If I had listened to this podcast when I was younger, it would have helped me tremendously. Developing strong communication skills has been a lifelong journey for me, but it felt so much longer traveling it without proper guidance. Chris Voss provides a compassionate yet practical framework for difficult conversations that I wish I had discovered earlier. While gaining confidence and fluency in social interactions requires constant effort, reflecting on how far I've come is inspiring to me now. Overcoming my natural introversion as well as other challenges I faced took tremendous perseverance to sharpen my skills and understanding. Reaching a place of emotional and intellectual wisdom despite obstacles showed me how much I was capable of. While I can't change the past, approaching it with gratitude rather than regret has allowed me renewal. My experience highlights how timely resources, even ones now freely available, could have lightened my load back then. I hope sharing my story brings more awareness for supporting developmental needs in others. And that continuing to apply what I learn from podcasts like this will further my empowerment through connection. Most importantly, I am proud of all it took for me to become the insightful person I am today.

[@lornadoone]

My Mom who works in baggage claim recently told me a story so similar to this of a customer she helped. She works in baggage claim for over 20 years, 50 years at the airport. She always goes out of her way for everyone and always has the best stories of making someone's day better. I really wonder if this was my Mom. ❤❤❤

[@JG27Korny]

This podcast is insane. I have not even dreamed about the combo between Chris Voss and Andrew Huberman.

[@Konrad111111]

You haven’t dreamed about it?

[@RobertWadlow292]

No way... a Chris Voss interview!? His book "Never Split The Difference" is a great read. Thanks for posting

[@DILFDylF]

Is your profile picture truly you, brother?

[@EricTheSwede]

Had to give bad news roughly 5 hours after finishing this. Remembering what Mr. Voss said, I opened with "Hey man, I'm sorry I have to tell you this right now" gave it a few seconds of air, then told him the bad news. He texted me later thanking me for being direct. Voss knows his stuff!

[@juliettailor1616]

How many top league university professors and research scientists who also happen to be a KZbin star display the kind of humbleness that Andrew Huberman shows towards his guests? This is what I really like about Andrew Huberman. His humility and respect towards anyone he thinks he can learn from.

[@angelarigdon8851]

Dr. Huberman, your podcast has changed my life. The alcohol podcast convinced me to finally give it up and my stress levels went down. I can tell a huge difference in many areas. Thank you for what you’re doing!

[@stijnnoorman]

Amazing to see these two together! This quote of Chris always stuck with me: "Body language and tone of voice - not words - are our most powerful assessment tools". Amazing book for sure!

[@jimlahey8312]

Did the fbi not set the place of fire during waco

[@jodybeard532]

I questioned that as well. That statement from both of them felt off to me. I suppose I shouldn't trust my gut on that one.

[@bluesky45299]

Quran says: “Allah:there is not God except he”:The Neccessary life/consciousness,sustainer of life/consciousness.” Wire like neuronal structures that conduct electricity via ions/neurotransmitters in the CNS/PNS possess no attribute of thinking/life and yet that has “randomly” led to life. Consciousness/thinking is an innate idea(“Fitra”)that is distinct from carbon skeleton and yet the materialist scientist believes that chemistry turned into biology via “god of randomness”/”Emergent property”/”law of nature”. Consciousness can only stem from Necessary Consciousness (Allah-one/indivisible/loving/self-sufficient perfection).

[@elizawilson5981]

That is so true. I learned in my job very early on in my career about tone. I was interacting with people every day. As far as body language went, I relied more on my gut instincts. Glad I did because he said he's been wrong about that and he's more knowledgeable than I will ever be.

[@elizawilson5981]

Although he cited he had totally misread body language and so doesn't rely on that so much. Follows up with he senses they've changed their thought on something...to that effect.

[@candacecrute9313]

I knew I liked Dr. Huberman because he's a dog lover. I value him even more after hearing him say that we should take care of ourselves so we can show up better for others. Brava!!!

[@patriciakimball8150]

“Thanks for the hypothesis test…You got a lot of knowledge out of me.” Andrew, you’re the best! Love the interaction between you 2. Thanks so much for sharing. 🙏🏼

[@i.e.s]

Dr Huberman, you have such a warm personality, so relatable. It drips through reminiscing about “borrowing eggs and milk from neighbours”.

[@ushadigiacomo7213]

😍😍😍wow. I believe in synchronicity, and this podcast is perfect to my current struggle. I HAVE NEVER LEARNED COMMUNICATION. My mom has light dementia and has been living with me for the last 2 years. She doesn’t know how to communicate, as both her surviving brother and sister. Somehow in their mind they think that deciding on things on their own is showing freedom and assertiveness. But they forgot they live in a society. I struggle daily with my mom asking her to communicate what she wants, or what she is going to do. Simple things as not asking for a food that is far from her at the table. Instead she will lean dangerously to get it. Looking back at her relationship with my father, the absence of clear communication is obvious. And here I am, a mature person realizing I had to learn to communicate on my own, and realizing I didn’t do a good job.😂 thank you so much for this podcast. Downloading it and keeping it in my library!

[@rjbarrett1232]

I’m admirative of Chris Voss, negotiation boss, crisis management, emotions, he can do it all

[@Konrad111111]

He can do it all?

[@adrianagiraldo9315]

I am sooo going to geek out on this episode… I feel like the Huberman Lab is my Netflix 😂😂

[@Photik]

That's a great way of putting it! Totally agree!

[@arjanioo]

The book by Chris Voss is absolutely amazing. It's really nice that he's now a guest on the Huberman Lab Podcast. I'll listen to this episode as soon as I have the opportunity. It's great to see increasing diversity in podcast guests. Perhaps it's also a good idea to invite Nick Lane sometime. His books on the role of oxygen in the history of life, mitochondria, and "Transformer," his most recent book, have deepened my understanding of biochemistry and physiology. When there's news about things like antioxidants or mitochondria in the media, I notice that it has helped me to better contextualize them.

[@genesises]

didn't really like the book at all myself. i stopped reading after 1/3 of it. while it has interesting stories i was hoping more of education on techniques, how to work on yourself etc, rather than sensationalist stories of "manipuilation works". i'm not discrediting the methods as i'm sure they are effective, but personally i didn't get anything out of it other than some entertainment and frustration.

[@connormoir1695]

andrew huberman is a great interviewer. He often will give a question in the form of a compliment its so good and makes the interviewee answer more openly.

[@erikalishkovska1116]

I would love to see dr. Gabor Mate on your podcast 😍 maybe a talk about the cultural mechanisms that wire the brain or anything with him and you would be amazing💗

[@Photik]

I totally agree. He's done some amazing work on ADHD, addiction and trauma.

[@MiriamIllions]

Yes!

[@pandu2710]

Super agree on this!

[@mariacharalambidis6180]

Chris Voss - you are a beautiful human being! The world is better with you in it!

[@Brandonfalcon225]

This was so exciting Andrew is my favorite podcaster and Chris Voss is my favorite author! This is probably one of the most anticipated episodes for me brings my two worlds together!

[@ronelweiser6866]

Me too! Voss is The Boss. Keep talking and writing Chris, we’ll be listening reading and implementing.

[@pop.college]

Listening to this conversation makes me feel like. a King listening to his top advisor on how to negotiate peace and protect the people.

[@reflections32]

Wow wow wow guys, I loved every bit of this conversation and learned so much! I read Chris’s book years ago and felt like it was so above my head, sad to say, I must have checked out a bit because I just assumed it way more sophisticated than a simple quiet homestead girl like me really needed. But , wow I am going to re-read it after listening to this because this conversation was so intriguing! Also, I am a very happily coupled woman, but someone must have waved a magic wand because I have mysteriously fallen love with you both! 😍 May God protect you both and shower you with blessings and love always Amen! 🙏🏼

[@GPHealthandWellbeing]

Chris Voss book 'Never split the difference' has significantly improved my clinical consultion and communication skills. It's a recommended read❤

[@TnE84]

Intuition is a double-edge sword. Especially when it comes down to romantic relationships. I find having heightened senses, and emotions that run deep, combined with a proclivity and curiosity to wanting to make sense of things, to be a blessing and a curse… because sometimes you will just have to consciously override your intuition and perceptions, resulting from sensory inputs, in order to keep going. Anyway… I am done venting lol another great episode… thank you Dr Huberman and staff!

[@NeuroscienceUnwrapped]

This is hands down one of my favourite episodes from the Huberman Lab Podcast! I particularly like that stories from Chris’ experience were brought up throughout the episode, that I managed to finish the almost 3 hours podcast in one sitting. I learned so many new things, as always. I think the “sounds like…” perspective is such an interesting concept and I’m already imagining how some of my prior interactions/ conflicts could’ve went differently if I’d knew and applied it before. Thank you Dr. Andrew and Chris for this amazing interview. You’re changing my life for the better.

[@MADPasco]

OH MY GOD!!! The freaking collab of my dreams!!🎉

[@laurelhermes]

Always such a treat when the interviewee is modeling their mastery during the interview. Noticing it with some regularity in some of Huberman's guests, recently- certainly here with Voss. This was a pleasure to learn from. Thank you both, gentlemen.

[@homosexualbiologicalmaleonly]

negotiations mean corrupting yourself instead of just going toward what you want directly without negotiations .....negotiations mean you are not the decision maker but you are influenced ......

[@jesusmariagabinwhitepen1156]

My gratitude to Andrew Hurman 🙏 I'm mastering not only certain topics but also English language because of the clear language he uses in all his podcasts. Thanks a lot.

[@passionpixie8020]

His book “Split the Difference” aided me in negotiating a consulting salary that was out of their ‘budget.’ That set the barometer of my worth with the working relationship going forward.

[@90HardyA]

Crazy how true it is 1:31:05 I was fired on a Friday & spent the whole weekend crying even tho I had a gut feeling it was coming . Hearing this part I can easily see how it would felt better if it had occurred on a Monday , great point there

[@GSPV33]

Hope you're holding up well!

[@bigpapisaunds]

Appreciate you uncle Andrew! ☺️ Make sure you look in the mirror and say to yourself, “ I’m helping improve the world with my actions” because you absolutely are :)

[@jopo7996]

Yesterday, I was having a conversation about hard conversations with a friend, and here you are having a hard conversation conversation.

[@JJRfromNYC]

Great interview. Chris Voss is fascinating. Please interview Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent who discusses body language and has many books. Keep up the good work Dr. Huberman.

[@sudabehmoein1788]

What a fantastic mix of scientific wisdom ( Andrew) and the worldly practical social wisdom( Chris)…. I love the humility and open mindedness between the two of them !!! If only the leaders of the world were like these 2 FINE men?🙏🏽♥️

[@bonbonbeads]

You can tell Dr Huberman is tickled pink to have his guest. That smile on his face ! 😃

[@birdvert]

I wondered if anyone else was noticing that, it was cute!

[@MV-kk3nh]

Amen & Amen!!! I'm so, so, so grateful to have access to this level of expertise/genius. Thank you Dr. Huberman & his guests for willingly sharing their life's work so generously with the world. I'm eternally grateful!!! Blessings!!!

[@uniqueusername22337]

There were so many amazing insights but my favorite was about the resilience to pain when you can brace for it.. It's like in fighting, it's the one you don't see coming that knocks you out. I had a breakup once where I did not see it coming.. It destroyed me for a long time. Another time, I saw it coming and it was a little painful but 100x less than the other breakup.

[@bellelacroix5938]

I actually got cold cocked by my ex but I did not see coming up from behind this to the f****** head and he was a second baseman I woke up after being knocked out cold in a cat-scan where I passed out again and then after being stitched up 42 of them my face and elsewhere they released me to him because the hospital thought I might be endangered because I had a concussion and they didn't want me falling asleep but this s*** and how women are treated

[@vinniep01]

Yeah I remember once someone splitting up with me. I was gutted but said that I thought things were getting boring and was similarly minded. Held my head up and left. Other party looked wounded.

[@elisatseng6286]

Chris Voss is very strategic and tactical. His negotiation tactics really work!

[@user-td4zp4gq2p]

Chris Voss is what all pod cast guests should be.

[@uniqueusername22337]

Mr. Voss has to be one of my favorite guests ever! I get the feeling that I really enjoyed this one 😅

[@cholakicha]

YESSS! I can hear Chris Voss saying "Huberman" with his late night FM-dj voice.

[@prayaanshmehta3200]

6:30 pre- mindset 11:41 calm voice 19:00 types- benevolent, WW generosity 28:38 33:44 hostile specificity 39:40

[@nigelnyoni8265]

Come back and finish the video, lad

[@SerenityDreaming]

I feel like if Dr. Huberman is *this* excited about an interview, the information is going to be extra solid. Taking notes. Thank you Dr. H!

[@carinaoliveira5850]

At 21:00 when he goes into Win-Win phrasing.... I was completely shocked. After hearing his point of view and take on "why" people should be treading cautiously when someone says these words, I realized that I have been putting out the wrong message. In my sales practice I've thrown this out countless times to my customers and business partners, because I genuinely look for win-win solutions and want both parties to walk away happy. But it never dawned on me that I may have been jeopardizing someone's trust in my work, and that I'd be coming across as someone with an agenda for a win-lose situation. Thank you for this advice and take on saying these phrases at the start of a negotiation.

[@learn___more]

Pls make something about teenagers brain and body development

[@EngelbertHumperdinck86]

Yeah, maybe he can interview Joe Biden.

[@hassassinator8858]

​@@EngelbertHumperdinck86💀

[@zia-ulislam7761]

​@@EngelbertHumperdinck86 LMAO

[@shaniyabisburg1844]

The Chinese already made TikTok for that. Specifically for American teenagers 👍 good luck fools

[@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked]

​@@EngelbertHumperdinck86Trump, of the two-party puppet show that the non-religious, anti-religion American Founding Fathers fought against having to avoid any major divide that they faced in Europe, as well. His daughter opened up plenty about his love for her beyond comfort. Either way, most people misuse the p-word, and it actually means to be an adolescent person that's into prepubescent children. Half of humanity is said to have died before teenage years. Most adults, up until about 150 years ago, died by their late 30s, or early 40s. Puberty is puberty, and the age of consent varies place-to-place.

[@ayacabrera]

Thank you for this, Andrew! Love Chris Voss so much!!! 🖤🖤🖤 Two of my favorites together in a podcast is such a treat! ❤🎉🎉🎉

[@megsunville]

I was looking forward to this conversation. Seems like all of us enjoyed this episode as much as Andrew did :)

[@ayacabrera]

​@@megsunvillethey both looked like they had fun! Been waiting for this one too ❤

[@marciusjupiter]

This is awesome. I met Chris back in 2021 and he mentioned how much he enjoyed Andrew Huberman's material. So happy about this

[@elenazehr8106]

Thank you Prof. Huberman for your podcasts. I have a very stressful life for the last couple of years and your podcasts are very helpful

[@libbyl2194]

I lent Never Split the Difference to a client of mine (a lawyer!) who was the worst negotiator I've ever seen! He was constantly getting taken advantage of. I thought he also was not very bright or courageous. When he changed his office arrangement post-pandemic to one I didn't want to go along with, I quit. He never got more than a third through the book and he ended up taking a bath on his contested fees. Love both Chris and Andrew 💜 Many thanks for your devotion to providing free knowledge that delivers incredible value.

[@epidoxa8880]

My two favorite people in one place!!!! This is going to be excellent!

[@marcap9260]

Great topic, thank you for this interview. Calming down seems to be exactly what we need right now.

[@smarttv7218]

I couldn't agree less. Well spoken.

[@amarpreetsingh5298]

Chris V and Andrew have changed my life. My second dads.

[@pranavvarma3077]

Wow. Dr Huberman keeps relevance top of mind. I'm amazed by how you do it. You are my role model

[@baderalmuashi9206]

Huberman, thank you so much for the valuable information you are providing to the public. Can you please do one thing for us? Is it possible to provide a summary after each episode? So we can connect all pieces of information together and end up with a comprehensive understanding of the episode

[@acchristoforou]

I believe he just implemented that. You sign up on his website and you get like a newsletter every month if I am not mistaken with summaries of the podcast. Hope that helps.

[@TheTmctempest]

I don’t usually align with Saagar but his Editorial on Huberman is 100%. I’m a huge fan.

[@michelefaydobb7247]

Love the distinction between the gut and the fear centre. Because fear often manifests in the same area as an overlay, for want of a better word, that stops us from actually feeling what our gut instinctually is actually saying.

[@gregorbingham]

Chris Voss knows how to do 'bullet-time' with conflict. Thanks for this one, the first few minutes on mindset, all there!

[@vimalpatel4060]

Underrated comment.

[@Success_is_inevitable]

“Great negotiations are not existing, it’s extenuating”. Amazing quote Chris

[@_Ingwar_]

Chris, Andrew, this is one of the best conversations on this subject I’ve ever heard! Thank you, God bless and greetings from Ukraine!)

[@aaronza7218]

Priceless, two great minds sharing their knowledge to us. One of, if not the most sensible podcast channel. Thank you so much Andrew and Chris!

[@nikolaskong3]

I bet Chris enjoyed getting the invite from Andrew. He mentioned several times that he started to really enjoy learning about neuroscience since Hubermanlab started. That his experience as a host negotiator is backed up by neuroscience.

[@raihanahsb]

Thank you Chris, Prof Andrew and the team.

[@issacharlane4003]

The win win conversation is something Ive done naturally my whole life, start off with what I think they want. Its extremely affirming, and explains why I do it that way and why I was always confused as to why I would be oddly successful in these interations.

[@christycaputo6095]

As a safety professional, I have used Mr. Voss' guidance and the information shared by Dr. Conti to improve my ability to help people help themselves.

[@bomber67855]

Your guys' hard work is always appreciated. Thanks for teaching us!!

[@evyandonch553]

Thrilled to see Chris Voss on your show! Signing up for Fireside now! Love Never Split the Difference too! I’m an addiction Interventionist and coach and NSTD is applicable to the work I do as well! 👍🏼 Thank you AH! And CV!

[@TymBenn]

I've listened to the audiobooks 'Never Split the Difference' and 'Ego Authority Failure' again and again over the last few years. Cultivating the language of negotiation into a natural part of my life, applying strategies to personal challenges. It is so good to hear an in depth perspective of these communication tools from a fresh angle. Witnessing the interplay of two very intelligent people exploring very complex dynamics.

[@originalsuccessjournal8723]

Chris Voss gives and saves lives fonding yet another 5 🌟 pod cast to feature.

[@AwareParenting]

Loved the distinction Chris made about empathy. Placing limits on the term certainly opens greater application of it. Thanks to you both for this valuable convo xx

[@18_rabbit]

yeah and to separate out the two aspects, as they use it for their profession, in addition to the 'compassion' which is related, as he explained

[@joryiansmith]

Your podcast Andrew is truly priceless and overflowing with practical wisdom that can change people's lives immediately and for the better ❤

[@heatherstarr8622]

Hi Andrew - I've been listening to your podcasts via Spotify for the last few months - I'm from Montreal, living in Western Australia and a huge lover of neuroscience being a yoga and meditation teacher. This podcast with Voss was so good., thanks for sharing it. Gonna get Chris's book. In terms of other topic suggestions - I'd love for you to discuss the neuroscience of menopause, there are quite a few experts out there you could have on the show. This topic needs more research and more awareness as it affects 50% of the population at some point in their lives and there are some serious physical, physiological and emotional symptoms. Thanks for all that you do.

[@user-xj7yh7br6z]

TOPIC REQUEST: A deeper dive into vocal tone and it’s social impacts…how to control and optimize the voice for desired results, practices to improve vocal tone, projection, etc

[@stefanvanzijl]

Very good . Also great that Andrew and Lex both had Chris on the podcast. Very interesting and informative to listen and watch both interviews

[@mallea666]

I don't even have to watch this episode to know that is going to be one of the very best, well done professor

[@gretchenHelvenston]

Andrew, I watch you often, big fan. Love your knowledge. I’ve seen Chris on many other shows and can’t get enough of him. I wish you would spend more time listening to his answers, going where he takes you. I’ve noticed this with other guests , you look at your next question and ask without exploring the point he just made. Watch Lex and Joe and brush up on interviewing skills. Love what you bring us, neuroscience is the best, thank you for all the info!

[@in_light.]

What a great conversation. Glad to be introduced to Chris Voss; a man of experience, immense wisdom and grace. Will definitely look at more from him and tell others about him and Andrew.

[@MysteriousMartin]

Andrew -- Love everything you're doing and can't say enough good things to people about your podcast. Thank you for creating this environment of giving VALUE for free. It is sadly rare in our world to receive valuable gifts without being asked for something of value in return. I appreciate you & all of the guests... One note (even though I may be the only person that has trouble with this)... I had a tough time watching this talk because of the bright light on the wood in the background. I think it is because my eyes were switching back and forth from the light and dark cones (or rods?) and mimicking an effect of dusk blindness. I would love if the framing could show less of the wood behind you or if there could be less light on that part of the set. Sorry for adding something so small to your plate... 😁

[@juliettailor1616]

Agreed. That wood is visually distracting.

[@18_rabbit]

i'm surprised i didn't notice it, but i didn't have this on fullscreen. However i am typically eye bothered lately, just generally by full brightness on my IPS monitor--just too bright whites and i dn't even bother w/ my phone anymore for reading.

[@CDolph296]

oooh the never split the difference guy! Can't wait to listen to this later.

[@MiranUT]

I loooovvveee Chris Voss! I often quote him/his books in my class! So happy to see him here on the Huberman Lab!!! Thank yoU!

[@brookeclarke9168]

I have so many thoughts on this video I'll start with I feel so much more enlightened than ever before! I love these podcasts I always learn !!! Chris Voss' voice is addicting very calm and serene yet confident and present! The information in this particular podcast has found me in a time where I was able to grow from the knowledge shared and will be able to implement the knowledge in my life moving forward in my personal and external endeavors. Thank you both so much for the time and quality produced!!!! ❤❤❤❤

[@mariolongtin8271]

Wow, I just learned about Chris Voss a month ago, and this is truly a treat! Thank you, Andrew, for interviewing the real ones!

[@beatrisbeatris9616]

YES. Please more content like this one, how to effectively communicate with others

[@juliehayes9315]

Chris Voss is also on Masterclass and it’s one of the best offerings there

[@skyblupink3]

I agree 100%. This was where I discovered him. Of all the classes, his topped my list.

[@theteleporters7420]

I've studied Voss' "Never Split The Difference" for about two years now. Incredible book with tons of gold nuggets and strategies for negotiations, sales, and just daily human interactions. Was really cool to see this interview and break things down scientifically!

[@Annapurna818]

You need to do an episode on workplace abuse and the failure of DEI programs to improve quality of work life.

[@CommittedMan]

Excellent guest! We all benefit from his lessons. Have Dr. K next!!!!

[@AmbientAuteur]

What a great surprise to see Chris Voss on this podcast. What a treat! THANKU! Love.

[@user-no3lu8ex6n]

Thrilled to see Chris Voss on your show! Signing up for Fireside now! Love Never Split the Difference too! I’m an addiction Interventionist and coach and NSTD is applicable to the work I do as well! Thank you AH! And CV!

[@charlottesmith6434]

Thank you Dr Huberman! Looking forward to this episode!!

[@lauracamellini7999]

Neuropsychology of negotiations is one of the value points of the black swan's method, thank you Dr

[@flying5145]

Chris Voss is a G, his book is excellent

[@nosajdrol]

Great episode. It's fun to see Andrew completely enthralled and giddy with his guest. Not sure I've seen similar episodes and enjoy the content and the channel and appreciate the opportunity to be able to observe and digest it. thank Dr Huberman and Chris Voss.

[@missmolly5129]

Wow! I am currently working on my voice tone. I learned about the late night dj voice sometime ago, but the science findings are amazing! It's great that we now know the actual impact, but it's so hard to learn to switch when your amygdala (or whatever it is that does that) has already started the angry high tone process in the conflictual situation. 👀 P. S. If you try reading a page from a book in a low, slow tone, that will also calm you down and even make you sleepy. It's amazing.

[@kathleenp3135]

Andrew, you rock. This was an extra great one. Thanks as always! Love from NJ

[@tanyawalker1673]

This was a real treat. Watching the scientist talk to the ex FBI agent. Loved the way you both interacted with each other and were open to each other's knowledge and loved Chris's teachings. I'm downloading his book on Audible today and am inspired to learn more from him.

[@jedordu]

Two of my favourite public figures ever having a conversation on a topic of public interest! So grateful for this episode!!