Chris D'Elia Rants About His Openers

Chris rants about his openers doing dumb things. From making bad assumptions to thinking that hot dogs are cheeseburgers, enjoy the adventures of Chris and his openers.
Clip from: Do Thought (143) | Congratulations Podcast with Chris D'Elia
• Do Thought (143) | Con...
Comedian (Incorrigible, Man on Fire) and actor Chris D'Elia sits down every week to talk about what's on his mind.

[@adambrown7333]

You just said you told them "I rented a sprinter van for the weekend" and when your openers pack it because they think they are having it for a weekend you get mad?? Sss'a diva move

[@elguapo42]

"I'm getting a sprinter van for the weekend"

[@SLCclimber]

Chris: "I'm getting a Sprinter van for the weekend." Friends: "Ah cool!" Later that weekend: Friends: "This van isn't with us for the weekend?" Chris: "FUCK NO IT'S NOT, DUDE."

[@Krods9117]

Dylan Camp openers were right? Lol

[@schaef2355]

Exactly, and then goes on to rant about how stupid they were for thinking they had it for the weekend

[@thefatman69dude]

That's exactly what I thought too. I was like but you said... For the weekend. So I would of assumed the same thing as well. They aren't dumb, Chris was just wrong.

[@bish0p96]

Chris has a supernatural ability to talk about almost nothing and stretch it out for 20 minutes and still be entertaining

[@JSFILMS129]

You watched the whole thing? 😂

[@miketheviking_]

Chris I’m sorry but you told em you got it for the weekend.

[@wesleytillotson1550]

If you’re comfortable above 72 degrees, y’reptile.

[@BlazedWeed]

Wesley Tillotson facts

[@hibreaux2662]

that room definitely needs.. BOA CONSTRICTORS

[@miaclaudio5428]

I'm not saying comfortable, just saying anyone who is sweating at 72 degrees is way overweight sorry if you don't light my analogy I'm actually comfortable at 78 degrees with a Parker, hello that's not what the conversation he was chalking about. Not weather or heat just an analogy about what, oh sweat, whatever comes after th word plz, start with your, thinking process . Mia C

[@thelostdog]

CA boi here and uh 78 is preferred temp :)

[@brentbarrus9754]

69° is optimal. Life rips again btw.

[@TheTylamo]

I’m just gonna pause the video and act like I didn’t witness this dent “I’m getting a van for the weekend”

[@awarelephant]

holy shit I usually love these but god damn what an insane diva.

[@willyswalrus11]

Was going to post this exact comment

[@geoffehresman2220]

76? s'feminine temp.

[@mauroantoniocruz3807]

s'puss temps, champ.

[@flashpointprdx]

House stays 64 in the winter and 82 in the summer

[@megholli1981]

76 is so disgusting.

[@ghhhp]

😂😂😂 s’feminine

[@evilequinox1833]

You literally premised the van story with I'm going to have the van for the weekend Sprinter van. Then you are mad that they thought that you were going to have the van for the whole weekend. Hummmmm?

[@josebecerra9813]

Evil Equinox yeah glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed lol

[@thecount4683]

s’joke

[@SmokinKlocks]

Confirmed: It, in fact, makes a dent.

[@brucecampbell6698]

I think that's the point.....

[@SmokinKlocks]

@@brucecampbell6698 bruh fuck what you think

[@brucecampbell6698]

@@SmokinKlocks LMAO....."bruh"????

[@brucecampbell6698]

@@SmokinKlocks bruh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@beatclub-7072]

My bloods boiling because you tried getting everyone involved in your text me scam. Now you’re definitely the Cuda for that

[@steffya.n.7860]

Hahahahahahahahaha

[@Boxing_Reviews]

How was it a text me scam

[@billyconforto9108]

ANGRYGREEKMANYO the company sells your phone # and info

[@Boxing_Reviews]

@@billyconforto9108 wait what??

[@Boxing_Reviews]

@@billyconforto9108 I signed up

[@AlvinChipmoi]

Chris “I’ll have the ball park beef franks... is that a salad? Yes” D’Elia

[@Nikki-bo8to]

You’re insane!!! The only acceptable temperature is 68. Any warmer than that I might as well go camp outside.

[@rythaguy1893]

McMac Shalfilya weird

[@chroma2992]

Exactly

[@meganverne]

usually love you man, but your being a frickin diva in this one for no damn reason

[@OneKoolKittie]

Chris loved you in the joker movie🤣

[@krizzyshow6638]

Chris, you TOLD them you had it for the weekend. S"contradictive

[@KornerGFX]

That hot dog story is literally the funniest thing I’ve heard all week LOL. Damn, smh 🤦🏽‍♂️ 😂😂😂😂😂

[@youuuuuuuuuuu]

I never heard of a frank sandwich. What a stupid fucking term for a hotdog

[@estheticsandcosmetics4588]

Also I’m a skinny woman and my upper lip sweats .fight me.

[@Ps3luvr260]

Didn’t ask. Don’t Care.

[@christiantretter4605]

Estheticsandcosmetics no you are beautiful.🥰

[@FPSBuzz]

@@christiantretter4605 S'thirsty

[@Jonqen]

thats just sick

[@chrisvorhees6677]

Just recently discovered you.. Dude, when you were talking about franks and cheeseburgers I laughed so hard I think I pulled a muscle and nearly shat myself. 10/10

[@KPrayfortheworld]

Do thought. Best quote ever in today’s society.

[@nukedukem420]

They didn't make a Dent...

[@LeewardSideMusic]

Late to this one. Was there ever a follow up where he addressed the fact that he said he was renting it for the weekend? Only to get mad about it? This is the one “clip for the babies” that I am like... Eh

[@austinn2062]

YES! ive been looking for this ball park beef franks story for a year now and FUCK YEAH! GOT IT DUDE, LIFE RIPS AGAIN!

[@MutedGrowl]

76 degrees? Sbitch!

[@dennisbegley249]

76 degrees? S’Cali person

[@jhhd44]

"It says Franks, you're 36 😂😂"

[@jacobcoughlin1822]

Beads of sweat above his lip😂😂😂😂 I died at that part

[@MobileAudioPro]

So you tell your Openers you're getting a van for the weekend so they pack extra merch so you can maybe make a little more money since you are paying $1000 for a round trip. If you werent gonna use the van to hold extra shit why wouldn't you just take your own car and spend $100 in gas and why the fuck is it $1000 and you not have the van the whole weekend? It's already bad enough the guy you call "a friend" but yet he has to be left trying to cool off without touching the thermostat. How you could treat anybody like that and expect him to call you a friend is sad.

[@zekesalazar7643]

If I was with anyone who had their room temperature at 82 degrees, dude fuck that I’m sleeping in the damn hallway. Or I’m buying my own room. It’s better to just cover up if you’re cold than to allow everyone to suffer in the heat.

[@midnightbluebird9251]

These video’s make my day.

[@caseyquinn9282]

76 is insanity. 68 is the highest temperature the heat or ac should ever be.

[@chroma2992]

This is where i gotta disagree i like it 67° TOPS its always too hot literally EVERYWHERE

[@adonalsiumwillrememberourp8027]

What kind of fucking psychopath keeps hotel AC at 76? Jesus Christ

[@KTM525racer]

Do Thought!

[@ItsNessaTho]

Thought? Do it!

[@waxl121]

Renting a sprinter van to do s'comedy? Y'cuda.

[@retired674]

12:45 is so fkn the truth

[@rogermortgage]

Either A) spend the money on a driver or B) explain directions more clearly You think people are smart? They’re not. That’s why the same guy has been opening for you for 6 years 😂😂😂

[@EverysteinSingleberg]

Chris is immensely funny in this setup when he’s riffing open plan and has no constraints. I wasn’t initially grabbed by his stand up, I felt like too much of the opener I saw relied on slapstick like very obviously language style and facial expressions. He’s a very funny observer.

[@Fyrecide]

76 degrees bro? Dude... s'melting. I (unfortunately) live in Florida: that thing stays on 70 minimum.

[@BlazedWeed]

thank you, people gotta take a stand on this nonsense lmfao

[@josephgbc4760]

That’s such a great Craig impression lmao

[@0Akeldama0]

Does chris think that people just read his mind and think all day about him?

[@hazimxaieryl]

I shouted "Sweaty!" out loud but then immediately came to my senses. So, I didn't shout "Forehead!"

[@jasonolinger6967]

pretty sure Chris is a sociopath, and that's ok.

[@someonewhodoesstuffandthin3715]

I do thought every day. I also own a car with collapsible seats. I'm part of the cult. Let me open for you so this doesn't happen again.

[@SimpleSuppertime]

You ordered ballpark beef franks!!! Hahahaha why is this one of his funniest bits ever

[@klote82]

If you're easily cold you probably have low testosterone that's exactly how I felt.

[@0Akeldama0]

Howd you find out?

[@anewbugmusic]

My blood was boiling pretty hard during this whole merch thing glad you dialed me down a bit, almost punched a wall. Almost passed on.

[@melissa222]

Do I have an iron deficiency?...mayb

[@everdash]

Brags about nothing ever making a dent and how rich he is. Complains about hundreds of dollars to his openers who are trying to make it. Stay humble, Chris.

[@rhythmicallydifficult5693]

Humble? When has he done that...

[@scullnbonesent]

It makes no dents, but it s’makes no sense

[@JulesJenkins-ys5ne]

KILLIN it ready to blow🤕🤕🤕🤕😭😭😭🎯😭🎯🎯😭😭😭

[@JulesJenkins-ys5ne]

FT Fucks🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕

[@angelomarcaida4945]

Can't wait for him to talk about Bobby lee crashing his car without being in it lol

[@tiananman]

Chris D'idn't have the v'an for the w'eekend

[@Bibbly53]

I wasn't zen, I wasn't fucking zen, my god damn testicles exploded, and we'll just chill?! NOT-FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HAPPPPPPNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[@Hbizzjohnson]

CAUSE YOUR BRAINS BROKE is now a meme in my family lol

[@websnuff]

I used to date a girl that got upper lip sweat and it used to bother the ever livin shit out of me

[@lauca6969]

Peter Griffin voice :"You know what grind my gears"

[@mgonzalez3400]

Everyone's over here worrying about a god-damned van, but all I can think of is that those are hamburgers not cheeseburgers.

[@yegheieu]

Theres medical conditions where people sweat more than the average person nothing they can do. Life Rips

[@sizeguys4133]

Hyperhydrosis is pretty uncommon.

[@ConLLee]

Does swearing more = sweating on your top lip tho? Lol

[@n3rds3y3vi3w]

This is insane. I would be butt ass too if you had it at 76 degrees. But 82!?

[@mikeaamicone]

I want to find the satire and this I know he can lay it on pretty thin while the thickness of his skull sometimes rears its sociopathic tendencies but I find that a Loring even charming in the fact that it allows him to tap into a headspace where HeCan I move in self from the empathetic turn apathetic turn diva this message made about as much sense as his out rage with his own crew we all have bosses like this or in some cases even the worst of bosses are a pill comparison to this but Christ this may very well be what turns me off

[@karebear6564]

I’m late but I found the comedian that’s actually just a funny guy

[@josealejandroperezaltuve2173]

sunglasses start at 5:04

[@lihkin136]

I'm off to do thought

[@kalebcalkins9495]

I had no idea who craig was, he did the impression of him, and then I knew exactly who craig was

[@barrybicepsakafreddyflapja1399]

SEVENTY SIX...? AS IN FUCKING D’GREES? Chris. Im dead serious man go to urgent care right now. Then a psychiatrist.

[@BigBoru]

im dieing from the frank story, very good lol

[@billyconforto9108]

Love you Chris, but you literally said “I’m getting a sprinter van for the weekend”...soooo if it’s anyone’s fault it’s yours for not being clear. Also, you’re rich as fuck (and it was your fault)...don’t be such a diva lol.

[@derektaylor3888]

“Cause she didn’t want to deal with you takin’ your dick out or something”!!! Absolute best fuggin line of the whole dealio! Genius mutha frigger! I had to pause it because I was in complete giggle mode. Cheers

[@danielyerbme]

Ehh ssounds like your problem dood

[@bokkie2650]

So is it because they fill out the space and you like it empty? Or you were planning to sleep in the van and now you had to pay for a hotel? Can't be the weight though, as you said, it would have been ok if they packed it all in three suitcases instead of eight boxes. So same weight. The only logical explanation is that you were planning to sleep in the van, but you didn't tell them...so in this story you told us how it is your fault.

[@aarononstott3777]

Man this really showed a side of Chris I didn’t want to see. Even if you pay for the fucking van or the rooms you should still take into consideration the people staying with you?? Wtf bro... this shit is a let down.

[@3Phntm]

Imagine thinking a comedian talk about his own merch is funny. I wonder what would happen if he stopped talking about himself for one second. He might actually be funny to an infant.

[@luisaguilar5343]

Damn, Bryan Callen sure looks different and I can't believe he was allowed to host this episode of The Pod. You'll miss it of you blink, but of course Callen would bring up some dents.

[@abigails4139]

Everyone knows that the best temperature is 69° and I'm not trying to be funny, it's seriously 69°

[@MsMissDust]

My all time favorite rant. If you don't understand the anger, TAAAAKE A HIKE

[@weswashburn4321]

Chris…. Please make the franks order part of a stand up bit!!!! So fuckin 🤣😂🤣

[@Finding_Elysium]

Can you guys make a compilation of Chris yelling at butters and calling him an incel. That shit is great

[@ubersheep6517]

Love when he gets all quiet lol

[@wayneking2652]

He’s getting so salty, he’s rich with a bright future...calm the shit down my baby

[@ThrifterPickerShipper]

Guess I'm actually a caveman. Who knew? I thought the van was for the weekend.

[@ECSizemore]

This whole thing is to illustrate how people are dumb, but were these things really clear in the first place ? Maybe not.

[@marcmcdowell9649]

24.4C bro? Too hot, I'd fuckin melt. Love'n that 5-10C all day m8

[@mickcv4554]

Haha bout the only other person I know that like it hot in places especially hotels. Feel like everyone and everywhere I go has it like a refrigerator in their houses

[@mr.non3881]

I like how you can see his brain detoriating at some parts when he tells the franks story

[@golden-sun]

13:37

[@jonsohinki8882]

Everyone is taking this so seriously lol. Fucking relax.

[@curlymixednezz]

the laugh killed me Lmaooooo

[@steari]

76 degrees is hot as fuck, especially for a vampire.

[@SuperKawhiiLeonard]

7:24 Had me seriously in tears

[@TheRealBGregz]

It is not even remotely normal to not sweat in 80+ degree temperatures.

[@ohokcool]

WEAR A FUCKING JACKET CHRIS, THIS POOR MAN IS MELTING

[@leoniousbrando7316]

I never laughed so hard in my life.

[@WeirdBrainGoo]

So he has these guys with him in case he needs to open a can or a jar?

[@meta_mark]

"The thing still counts what degrees it is"

[@evilequinox1833]

So it seems like there's going to be some dents. AHHHH HUMMMM?

[@rhythmicallydifficult5693]

Listening to ur 1st episodes pretty fucking good !!

[@brodyharris7631]

Bruh sounds insufferable to be friends with 😂😂

[@jordanchilders6615]

76 degrees???? that's a fucking terrarium