We Ranked Reddit's Worst Humans - Chuckle Sandwich EP 97

[@lpc9929]

l am infertile from eating scented candles

[@leopoldbloom1431]

i ripped off my testicles reading this

[@honey-po9ij]

happens to the best of us

[@bloxter10]

congrats man

[@idontwanthishandle]

so sorry for your uhm. shit.

[@Aaron_HD]

I saw this comment on a sleep deprived episode

[@Biscut_87]

We're getting dangerously close to episode 100. Get ready for the markiplier episode

[@alenor210]

For episode 100, they’re gonna bring back Charlie and then actually murder him on camera.

[@mizdroidLOID]

imagine they make a normal episode 99, then drop off the face of the earth for 4 years, and then schlatt uploads another episode all alone, confessing he killed ted and tucker or some shit

[@markusdied5569]

*krschh* impending markiplier episode sir, over *krschh*

[@davidtheboss22]

you know what would be funny, imagine if schlatt died in episode 100 and ted, tucker, and charlie had to continue the podcast. Maybe schlatt could also only appear in gaming videos too.

[@liamnoakes511]

@@davidtheboss22yeah and maybe they both look really sleep deprived

[@J.thepalmtree]

Schlatt saying that him crucifying a bird isn’t believable after he’s gone on a tirade about taking the thumbs from a raccoon is insane

[@HydroniteTB]

Tucker, you are the best narrator bro, whatever cherub academy you went to needs to be praised

[@sonny_wiess]

They're called the marines

[@HydroniteTB]

@@sonny_wiess true

[@Egg_Sandwich1]

My favorite cherub school, West Point

[@JAS1983-t4e]

Little cherub boi

[@Duccy86]

He sounds like Joe Pera, love it.

[@emilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy553]

Holy shit the “dead ice bird” story was way better than I expected. I too would be in peril about what to do with that bird 😭

[@logemcdoge4620]

Good calories in that bird

[@HollowBarbieVideos]

I had a hamster abandoned with me, and he is still in my freezer after his passing. I too, am in turmoil.

[@Jetstream_Sam]

Microwave :😏

[@eckzde781]

😊 25:07 😅😅

[@hazel9490]

There once was a man named Ted He was fucked up in the head My family went to say hi Seemed like a nice guy Until he beat them dead. I’m coming for you. I know what you did.

[@thatonememer69]

Go get ‘em, tiger.

[@stolensalad2231]

man this slam poetry shit slaps!

[@gilliangustin9257]

why did i read this to the tune of the "soon may the weather man come" song

[@manidhingra5192]

@@gilliangustin9257 if you extend the ted it kinda works, but you need more lines in the chorus. still funny though

[@Thewalliest]

There was once a commenter named hazel, They were vengeful as a fallen angel, Set to disturb Ted, They crept to this bed, And stuffed a push-pin up his nasal.

[@kalie1323]

Fun fact: my dad literally lost custody privileges of my sister and I because when the judge asked him what temperature he thought was reasonable to keep the house at during the summer he answered with “90-95 degrees” 💀 mind you, we lived in Vegas where we routinely see temps around 105-115

[@Theorpo]

That's actually insane. Absolutely insane. -A person from Houston, TX

[@laurenpizza9435]

glad you got out of there. that is just straight up miserable. My first summer in Phx AZ I think I would’ve passed away if the thermostat went above 73.

[@sebastianh7940]

Regarding the clothes on the furniture post, OP just needs to put blankets over his furniture when guests come over. Wash the blankets once they leave. (Learned from Rick Glassman)

[@herostorm8939]

American psycho style

[@Wohlfe]

I was expecting someone in the house to be immunocompromised or something, asking people to take their shoes or dirty work clothes off is one thing but being worried about normal germs is insane.

[@demetriam2408]

​@@Wohlfewell I do think they should actually talk with someone about their germ problem because it sounds really unhealthy and like it could become a debilitating thing.

[@charliewilson9125]

@@demetriam2408I agree, this issue will only get worse over time. He needs to get professional help

[@madi2812]

speaking from my personal experiences, it sounds a lot to me like a severe (and untreated) case of contamination obsessive-compulsive disorder@@demetriam2408

[@fakade2987]

Reddit defending not using deodorant has got to be the must on brand response I've ever heard.

[@doodlefrogo]

That one was genuinely baffling to me. Maybe I had strict parents or something but it doesn’t seem out of pocket to turn off the xbox because the boys were disrespectful and smelly af. That poor mom shouldn’t need validation from reddit over that.

[@jonothanrennert3098]

@@doodlefrogoyeah, that’s just stuff that parents do. Mayyyyybe they didn’t have to go that far as to turn the game off, but it’s still totally reasonable to do SOMETHING

[@jennfreeman1962]

Fr. Was suprised to hear that they were apparently not the asshole. They were disrespectful and smelled. Maybe it was a bit much to turn off the game if they were almost done, but, still, makes sense. Imo I would've said NTA

[@MYSTIC_5280]

yeah that shit was weird asf like your kids stank you get your kids in line

[@lordgurt5084]

Straight up what the fuck even is wrong with reddit

[@LaunchpadCooks]

"I'm not keeping a bird in my freezer. That's where my hash browns are!" Schlatt is the voice of a generation

[@perilstar4152]

I was actually laughing at how relatable this quote is 😂😂😂 20:44

[@USPSLotLizard]

schlatt being left handed makes me feel like we deserve an apology video

[@niceshirt8559]

we’ve been asking for one since the wii videos 😭

[@souljaboy.6668]

im ambidextrous and it makes it hard to find good left handed equipment like mice so now i lean more on my right hand while gaming

[@sunbear9374]

@@souljaboy.6668yeah having adjusted to using the right handed mouse configuration since childhood and though I'm left handed I can hardly use my left hand to move the mouse

[@thom534]

i did a double take when he said that

[@roger5059]

@@sunbear9374 same

[@potatoman8060]

if charlie isn't on episode 100 i will begin to consistently predict the deaths of the royal family

[@BentendoGameBoy]

Don't threaten us with a good time

[@BentendoGameBoy]

Now get too it.

[@potatoman8060]

@@BentendoGameBoy October 12th, 2026

[@ryanfleshbourne3547]

@@potatoman8060 can you make it come faster

[@potatoman8060]

@@ryanfleshbourne3547 i wish :'(

[@mediocremelon6468]

Schlatt wearing a 9/11 shirt and NY hat together is peak NY boy. All he's missing is some timbs and he'll revert back like a bird feeling the pull of migration when fall hits.

[@OSHAcertifiedGasleak]

For episode 100 they should have Tucker on as the guest and have Charlie take over tuckers role and just never address it through the episode

[@iluvlamas1288]

Bump

[@cwmaib]

Tucker has had incredible character development on the Sammy

[@lamp1585]

Fun fact about the key to the city thing is it was originally invented back in medieval times when they had these big ass walls and the cities would be locked at nighttime and the key they would give out would be a literal key that you could use to get in and out of the city during the night

[@jstarrsounds]

34:58 i love low hyped tucker gets when ted and schlatt praise his acting lmao

[@JacksonLarkin]

I regret to admit that I used to be a tucker hater. However it seems I’ve been converted after this astute voice performance

[@KristenZianourry2015]

Real but i still miss Charlie its so unfortunate that ted killed him so tucker could gradually join

[@Tomtainius]

My worst nightmare is being forced to endure another second of this abominable podcast. Looking forward to episode 98!

[@souljaboy.6668]

for real made my day worse listening to this utter schlock, can't wait for next week!

[@AdallynD]

Eh, I'm probably gonna skip episode 98 and just listen to episode 99 😒

[@tristanuchiha6285]

@@AdallynD no you won't. 🙂

[@ry1023.3]

@@AdallynDplease no☹️

[@Road__Kill__]

@@AdallynDNOOOOOOOO PLEASE DONT I NEED TO FEED MY FAMILY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[@jigsaucemusic]

My best friend’s parents also keep their home at 85 degrees over the summers as well. We are roommates now, and when they come over to our house they will do nothing but complain about it being too cold. They made him roast his whole childhood, and can’t respect his decision to live comfortably as an adult. Hot house people are insane

[@pippy_]

My favorite podcast to listen to while going 130 mph on the highway! 😊

[@harrisonkleinjan]

Settle down there Jordan Addison

[@big_neek]

Soft hands brother, I do that in a school zone.

[@RisingFlag100]

Facts

[@plazmamonkey22]

This but actually

[@coco-ro9pb]

TURN LEFT

[@slimyturtle4665]

Honestly i feel awful for that first person... Germaphobia is a real think and anxiety disorders can be crippling. It may seem crazy to be afraid of something so prominent but as someone with social anxiety it doesnt make any more sense to the sufferer than to outsiders. I truly hope that person gets help and can overcome their struggle.

[@emilymiller1458]

yeah. I have ocd (not quite that severe) but I’ve got a few tendencies like that and being called a psychopath and a poorly adjusted human being didn’t feel good.

[@uricolthrust4776]

That’s reality for you

[@dreaming1925]

since covid i got some mild germaphobia and i can understand that person may have some form of it too. Its possible they suffer from OCD and dont know it yet. I think the friend's reaction was a little extreme to just totally ignore OP over that, thats horrible

[@slimyturtle4665]

@@uricolthrust4776 what 💀

[@Lilpeepkinn]

I know it’s a real struggle for them, but then again in my opinion it’s also not right if his friends were to feed into his irrational fear of germs. If he keeps going like this and won’t seek help, he’s just going to lose people around him and it’s going to hold him back from doing things that he otherwise could achieve.

[@mmmmpaprika]

good job tucker for your amazing voice acting skill 👏👏👏

[@marithesquid3861]

I met Ted last week and he reached into his pocket pulled out my frozen bird and stapled it to my back. Great experience

[@LiamKennedyYT]

Markiplier needs to be on episode 100, no matter the cost

[@crankycal_]

if they don't at least try to make it happen or reference it, i will be extremely disappointed

[@angadgrewal9324]

and then markiplier kills schlatt, and Charlie and tucker take his place, and then they start doing lets plays and schlatt only shows up on them.

[@morvenparsifal303]

pls that be hilarious

[@A_Toaster]

No cost too great.

[@seva7500]

Didn’t they get him on and the episode sucked and they scrapped it

[@jasonfranklin4992]

I love how immediately after Ted said tucker was reaching his word allotment for this EP, he started replying with one word responses

[@hazel9490]

The perfect podcast to listen to from prison after being framed for what Schlatt did in ‘99.

[@FrogOnADogsSittingOnALog]

Did schlatt frame you personally?

[@isaacelmer]

He drew a pic of them

[@kyberwick8107]

this joke stopped being funny 24 years ago

[@hazel9490]

@@kyberwick8107 Who said it was a joke???

[@theb33prince]

@@hazel9490(24 years ago was '99)

[@shannyfow]

Friendly reminder Schlatt is not naturally left handed: his father taught him to be left handed to become a lefty pitcher in baseball.

[@electricgodspeed]

huh

[@shannyfow]

@@electricgodspeed Sorry, shouldve clarified, since the majority of hitters are right handed, lefty pitchers curveballs are harder to hit since it breaks inside on a righty. Schlatt wanted to play baseball, so his father made him begin to do things with his right hand behind his back.

[@electricgodspeed]

@@shannyfow ye I used to play baseball

[@jackisinforthewin]

​@@electricgodspeedwho asked who cares. Weird flex man

[@electricgodspeed]

@@jackisinforthewin brother. First of all, wasn't flexing? So idk where that came from and second I was just responding to someone

[@ericlewis7817]

With a decent dehumidifying system you can keep your house in the upper 70's and close to 80 and still be very very comfortable while keeping stress off of your overall HVaC system. That guy's freaking insane.

[@ericlewis7817]

I do residential HVaC as a full time job and I'm here to tell you that you really aren't saving enough money to justify setting your home to a temperature that you aren't comfortable with. When it comes to heat in the winter time depending on who you are that's a different story.

[@ericlewis7817]

@HarryLLC yeah the system wants to put out a 20 degree temp Split between the thermostat and the air that being supplied to the home. so if it's 110 outside and I set my t-stat to 80 it will be putting out 60 degree air in my home. That's what we call a Delta T.

[@jonathancamut7287]

We don’t know how big the house is to be fair as well, if you got the pc going which I’d assume you would and you are upstairs in a bed room. That room is going to be well above whatever it is set too. It might reach 87 in the down stairs living area but in a upstairs room that’s hitting 95+

[@trumanbadra8003]

@@jonathancamut7287i like how you assume everyone is a greasy pc user😭

[@capitancuba1]

I live in the desert,it'll get 120 in the summer. 85 is too fucking hot for inside the house. My dad loves the heat,he puts it at 82

[@Willow-y3k]

I love how Tucker's basically becoming a regular podcast member, he adds a ton to the podcast :3

[@jedililou2178]

Tucker has gotten SO good at these. I really felt the emotions. Clap and a half for u tucker 👏

[@TheSkootShow]

can I have the other half

[@Knifity]

Mann tucker deserves a good clapping

[@diamondryan599]

@@TheSkootShowno I stole it

[@bloepblep4287]

​@@TheSkootShowI have half a clap stored somewhere, I can get it for you?

[@samstroneer2038]

i have the clap@@bloepblep4287

[@TheManlol12]

From Cornell Law School 9 CFR § 3.2 - Indoor housing facilities section (a). "The ambient temperature must not fall below 45 °F (7.2 °C) for more than 4 consecutive hours when dogs or cats are present, and must not rise above 85 °F (29.5 °C) for more than 4 consecutive hours when dogs or cats are present."

[@nukeacola3]

You know it’s gonna be a good day when there’s a new chuckle sammy episode

[@bodelawrie7217]

I’m gonna say it. Schlatt was electric this episode. Feels like he’s like doing well which is something I can’t always say with him.

[@Jetstream_Sam]

Cant say the same about those women from 99'

[@madilorane271]

So, I work in a memory care and assisted living facility... the intro to this podcast sounded just like most of the conversations that happen on the daily

[@cinna4462]

naan girl absolutely needs to break up with her boyfriend if he’s that controlling about a $3 side dish ☠️ absolute manipulator behavior

[@sarwatarannya8786]

Break up...with a boyfriend that you live with, cause the dude wanted to eat some fuckin bread? Is this what insanity looks like?

[@slimyturtle4665]

​​​@@sarwatarannya8786it's not that he wanted to eat the bread, it's that he didn't want HER to eat the bread. He says she's wasting it by not eating it a certain way when she's still eating it. How is that a waste? If he's so controlling about the way she eats some bread then god knows how else he controls her. You also have to keep in mind that this is framed through his eyes, so he might have watered it down to make himself look better.

[@puremulp]

THIS like?? What's being wasted??? @@slimyturtle4665

[@asthetikf]

Naah, naan girl is a naan hog. If she's dipping for naan while having biryani, a sumptuous meal in itself..ultimate desecration of the masterful creation that is biryani. Drop the hog man, she is sloppy toppy.

[@stupidrandoes]

@@asthetikf she’s splitting the fucking price for that naan so that mfs splitting the naan greedy or not if he wanted more that bad his broke ass could get more or stfu bc that’s his problem not hers

[@SteeleHeller]

Keep the AITA/Reddit Story episodes coming. Most entertaining.

[@soybeanthegreat7767]

NigeriN nsle 😊

[@jacksonhoneycutt]

Can't believe Schlatt has been making fun of people with allergies while being left-handed the whole time.

[@augustmyers339]

Waiting for the Chuckle Sandwich episode where they are in a dark and dingy rundown apartment building that was used as a pet hotel 48 years ago.

[@T0ASTYC0ASTY]

You mean 24 years ago

[@qzzzzz2496]

This is the perfect podcast to listen to while crucifying my ex-roommates partially thawed bird on the side of my house

[@soupforfree]

perfect podcast to listen to while inhaling paint fumes

[@lucyd253]

40:58 Ted was so flabbergasted he started yelling in auto tune

[@BlazingMichael]

Thanks to Ted Nivision, Jscheddy and Tucker for bringing us another episode of chuckle sandwich. I hope you have all had an adequate day. Big claps to Tucker for his voice performances.

[@myheadhurtstho]

I love how they tried to gaslight ted into thinking he was wrong when they were wrong 42:30 heating can costs significantly more than ac, however people in warmer climates spend more on ac because they don't really use heating.

[@johnlime1469]

That school shooter stopping daydream is the most relatable thing that I've heard. Mine used to be the one where everyone else is in like a prom or dance party or some shit, and then I would like stop a shooter or a bombing without everyone else knowing. And then I get stabbed or something, sort of sit down, and bleed out.

[@lovrboi]

i have never laughed so hard at a chuckle sandwich episode as i did this one and it’s not even that late at night so i don’t think it’s due to tiredness and that this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve watched all week OH MY GOD i think this is my new favorite episode i cried laughing multiple times

[@Acoustic_shoot-star]

This is the perfect product to listen to when your laying in bed knowing that you need to do stuff Lol

[@Acoustic_shoot-star]

Podcast*

[@bobjones8610]

I love it when Schlatt just says the most random barely related out of pocket things

[@mounten6576]

This is the perfect podcast to listen to while waiting in fear on what will happen on the 100th episode and Halloween special.

[@BerzinskyMusic]

1. Tucker's voice acting is phenomenal. I was so invested 2. I am team 68 with Ted. Almost the perfect temperature

[@imnayelling]

is tucker getting more and more traumatized every time he goes into reddit?

[@Emenay2222]

This is actually the perfect podcast to watch after an emotional therapy session

[@tariqulislamakash5749]

I have a request for Ted and Tucker. Can you break Schlatt's kneecaps to make him do sleep deprived podcast again please ?

[@nintendonewsreleases4415]

34:06wow. Absolutely phenomenal. I came back to finish this video after I had finished something I had to do and I literally thought this was Tucker uncharacteristically getting really into the argument on one side before I listened for like 10 more seconds and realized he was simply reading the scenario. Truly just a good reading.

[@VinegarPotato]

The blend of all the stories at the end had me dying laughing, these were a great selection Tuckerm

[@gl00m88]

A school shooting was my biggest fear, I graduated last year and thankfully never had to live through anything like that. It’s so messed up that kids feel unsafe at school dude :/

[@RobwithoneB]

If I had a dollar for every time schlatt made me laugh, id be in debt

[@tico5058]

I'd be a millionaire!

[@bedheadreal]

wai- what

[@Jetstream_Sam]

That makes sense, student debt is alot more than how much schlurt can make you laugh

[@ch3m1c4l_c0ff1n]

Schlatt about to sneeze was so funny to me😭

[@jwash4302]

My favorite podcast to listen to while I wear a homeless person as a backpack

[@danielmango1806]

I'm just here to say that Schlatt IS the type of person who would crucify a bird. You are correct.

[@Weenton]

thank you for posting this episode on my birthday chucklers truly one of those favorite puppy moments

[@jonothanrennert3098]

My house’s AC stopped working last summer. I live in Texas where summers regularly get over 105-110 degrees. Before that, the AC wasn’t working well so it would get mid to high 70’s, and my dad wouldn’t listen when I said we needed to get the AC checked. It broke, so I slept at my brother’s house for a couple days. The house got to about 90 degrees while it was broken

[@dizzy4198]

“Schlatt”’s shirt is as “human” as possible. The AI is learning history!

[@hry4539]

The last part where they referenced every segment in one story was brilliant

[@decayrl8279]

I love the part where they rank these posts, wonderful podcast episode as always!

[@kryptico2240]

I love it when Tucker gets so excited 💀 bro is just a normal guy. So much less jaded than the other two

[@itsjustlapis]

I saw part of the anime opening animation for chuckle sandwich in the intro which is so cool! Love that they are including fan made stuff in the intro

[@sierra121cyan]

The third one was totally nta Schlatt's sentiment is exactly like what my dad would say. If you spend 20 seconds longer without pausing, you'd get the game shut off, be grounded for a day, get spanked, and be sent to your room.

[@lehonouredone]

Damn these people are worse than that time when Ted busted my knees and emoted on me while I was on the ground in pain and screaming for help.After 5 minutes he stopped emoting but before he left he said "God Bless America" and that was the moment Ted became George Washington.

[@xolsbowls]

i’m suicidal and this podcast with “schlatt” and ted (who has 2.1 years left) helped me make my next big leap!

[@JaydenPostsStuff_]

I love driving to my ex's house with a bottle of jack daniels and hatchet while listening to these podcasts 😊

[@zach2649]

if charlie doesn’t come back for episode 100 my disappointment will be immeasurable

[@waltuh979]

This is my favorite podcast to listen to as I'm being chased by a hound

[@madi2812]

i like the part when shlatt and ted discover what severe contamination ocd in the first post

[@blurpell]

This is the perfect podcast to listen to while crucifying a bird

[@jayden_gore]

i'm a service dog handler, and our dogs do NOT act like that. ESPECIALLY in restaurants. it's unsanitary and a health and safety hazard. allowing your dog to approach strangers is DANGEROUS. some people are allergic, some people are scared, some people just don't like dogs. if you cannot keep your dog under control, TRAIN IT. KEEP IT LEASHED. DO NOT TAKE IT TO A RESTAURANT. new dog owner or not, you NEED to know what you're doing. it's the same as any pet.

[@carsoncomplains]

The first post must've been made my Howie Mandel. That's an insane level of OCD

[@aarongagne8918]

Lmao imagine drunkenly microwaving the bird thinking it's a burrito. "Mmm I love the chicken ones. "

[@TheSkootShow]

I do feel like that first guy could definitely have some sort of OCD or mental disorder, however, there were many ways they could’ve worked around this factor. maybe he isn’t an asshole, just an… inconvenience?

[@dizzy4198]

Hes not an asshole but hes definitely in the wrong and needs help LMAO

[@VaughnVacca]

Ted sounds like grandma at 21:13😂

[@Penelope_kc]

Thank you Tucker for that wonderful voice acting 👏

[@5enpain]

Tucker slayed the voice acting, you could almost smell the faint scent of a redditer when he was in character

[@thatonememer69]

Can we just appreciate how Tucker always brings a smile to our face? ❤️ 👏

[@novectus9933]

Nothing like Schlatt wearing a 9/11 t shirt calling someone else an unadjusted, crazy, insane, psychopath for wanting to keep their pad clean.

[@prodbymnster]

no way we got a jd vance reference 10 months early

[@thisnotdog]

i'm convinced every reddit post is just a creative writing exercise and none of these stories are true to reality

[@imdaredevil84555]

When ever i hear this intro i always feel happy. Thank you ted and schlatt

[@birdsarntreal]

about the first post, what OP is describing sounds a lot like undiagnosed contamination OCD (i say this as someone with contamination OCD) but OP is DEFFINITLY being unreasonable and expecting people to do that is wild but i get where he's coming from my idea would be to get a blanket to put over their couch for when people come over then take it off when they leave, it deosn't look weird and it's not controlling

[@starshue]

This is the perfect podcast to listen to while investigating the mysterious case from '99

[@MU9ADA]

this is a perfect podcast to listen to while driving a plane to new york

[@ryantaylor8421]

can't believe Schlart crucified that poor bird 😔

[@CCrusaderNL]

14:20 Ted Potter

[@Gillion_x3]

can't wait to read the gobsmackingly horrifying jaw dropping comments that actual human beings have thought of and typed in order to put it in the comments of the chuckle sandwich podcast on youtube!

[@Husky7140]

it is October 24, 10 AM RIP Schlatt you will be missed

[@dizzy4198]

Extremely embarrassing to admit but i had a VERY similar experience to the dead animal in freezer story. My pet frog died and im very interested in oddities and wet specimens, and wanted to turn her into one, but i dont know how and im very lazy. Anyway, Its been a little over a year now and im so used to seeing a corpse in my freezer that i never notice it anymore. What do i do at this point. It feels weird to bury it after keeping it for so long. Sorry this is your fanbase, chuckle sammy.

[@its_pawesome]

same.... but im too lazy to bury my rats

[@cameron8619]

tucker reading the bird one all choppy because they had broken English was so funny

[@lightninglighter7044]

"I'm not gonna crucify the bird" - Schlatt 2023

[@joaquinandrews2986]

52:17 "Shnats" sneezes look like he has the fear of god in him

[@lilmissemi]

Person with the couch clearly has contamination OCD

[@Lilacskullzz]

THE HOUSE IS EIGHTY FUCKING SEVEN DEGREES??? that’s torturous I’d rather sleep out side in -10 degree weather then sleep in a house that’s reaching 90. And 68 is the perfect temperature for a house