Trump Is Big Mad At Nikki Haley | White House Pharmacy Scandal | Many Loose Bolts Found On Planes

[@HelynnHeels]

"What kind of maniac pretends they won when they really lost?"

[@motherteresa9127]

Stacey abrams. Nikki haley. Every metropolitan mayor that proudly said they have a sanctuary city. 538 polling. This year is gonna hurt. Bad. And if you are an angry lefty, hold on. Not because of cheeto hitler, but because of the people telling you to be be angry at drumpf. And you will be angry, because you were told who to hate. And oh, how you will rage. Because you are empty without explicit direction for your beliefs and emotions. I dont love trump. But i love how it makes the people i despise angry, and then they tell you to be angry. Pathetic little pawns.

[@marilynminer677]

Projection at it's finest

[@michaelbraun2462]

🤣😆🤣😅🤣😁

[@pocketrocket7090]

She congratulated Trump before her speech meaning she acknowledged his win which he’ll never do if he lost. She was surprised and delighted with the number of people who came out to vote for her. Typical Trump twisting it around and projecting as usual.

[@gojosgirl6487]

Oh the irony

[@Flamenco1313]

“What kind of maniac pretends they won when they lost” 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@BertrandRenaud-f1e]

Thumbs up to the writers!

[@Heilquelle]

Says Trump 😁😁😁

[@paulshriver1132]

Hillary, Stacy, Kerry

[@rafaelr5243]

@@paulshriver1132 Exactly, but people that watch this show have lost all critical thinking ability. It's sad reading the comments here. Result of public schools.

[@Wonderworld0000]

I laughed a lot when Stephen put " meow!" That was a great point! Thank you all staff! ❤

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@melissaweyrick5311]

Seeing the news about Jon today. 🎊🎉🎊 Made me very happy. I miss that Man!!💗

[@jensenon]

“What kind of maniac acts like he won when he lost?” Priceless!!!

[@Macgyver46]

He lost NH in 2016 which he lied about in his speech.

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

It's like both definitions of irony packaged into a single sentence. I didn't think it was possible.

[@donwold1622]

Spoken like only a truly pathological liar could do.

[@arctiknitter]

Pot calling kettle black!

[@hgr4255]

Obviously, and unfortunately his followers bolster that action. He's not slacking on votes, and that tells me a lot about Americans today - gone looney.

[@josiek5989]

I am a neurologist who examines and tests muscles all day, and I have never heard a joke about serratus anterior before! Told everyone at my clinic, and from this time forward, we will call them “rib abs”. Kudos to your writers! Laughing all day!

[@yudithcaron8053]

Those serratur anterior must be the muscles you didn't know you had after a workout where you ache all over.

[@Dharmarenee]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@water2wine1]

Every accusation and criticism is a confession. 😅

[@russellhammond371]

"He's 80 years old, didn't show up, and still kicked my ***." Ouch! lol

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@damionandy]

I know we're laughing, but this is also unfolding in real time in front of us. As a USMC Veteran and proud Patriot, I am worried about the future of our country if this continues. Since when is it okay for a grown man to talk and act like this? What example does this leave for the next generation of Americans? How do we not see the rise of autocracy? Our founding fathers are rolling in their graves.

[@awpetersen5909]

I know😢

[@robinsansing2642]

Thank you for your service and I totally agree with you. I think 45 is a horrible example for the children of our country. Let's all grow up to be rude, hateful, illiterate de generates! He certainly lower the standard of ethics and decorum in our country! I find it all very sad! Unfortunately, it seems most Americans don't care or get that the rest of the world is watching us. Creditability and accountability are gone!

[@Marcus_C51]

I quit laughing quite awhile ago, this is very serious. You are absolutely correct-thank you for your service and I know you are a true Patriot like I am. This disgrace of a human being should not be the President of this great country again. You and millions of others in the military fought for the freedoms that we hold dear. His followers don't even understand or appreciate that. They claim to be true Patriots but they fail to see they are not. The prevalent attitude he has of belligerent fear mongering and hate speech, with a total lack of decorum along with respect for the Flag, seems to have influenced people to act in a very poor way. Social media has been instrumental in this, allowing it grow and it is indeed worrying me as well. I see very clear parallels to what was happening in 1930's Germany. We have to make sure everyone votes this November! I'm disgusted that I thought we were through with him in 2020 but he continues on. Sheer insanity.

[@Marcus_C51]

@@robinsansing2642 I didn't reply to your post in mine (hadn't read yours yet) and want to say I completely agree with you. Yes, the whole world is watching us and are shaking their heads. Well said!

[@worldadventuretravel]

"Biden has started a new war in Yemen while backing a genocide in Gaza, both of which are fully supported by the party [Democrats] that supposedly opposes him, but by all means go ahead and spend the rest of the year fixating on the U.S. presidential campaign." - Caitlin Johnstone Yes, imagine being so privileged and out of touch that the entire world is currently indicting the Israeli terrorist regime for committing an actual holocaust and all you can talk about is Trump.

[@davesky538]

I look forward all day for this monolog!

[@alvallac2171]

*monologue

[@laalaa99stl]

"What kind of maniac pretends to win when they lost?" For someone who spends so much time in front of a mirror, his lack of self-reflection is quite remarkable, no?

[@cleverusername9369]

It's called "projection". He's perfectly aware that he's the maniac, he just projects everything he knows is wrong about him on everyone else. Every accusation is a confession. You can even see it sometimes when he speaks, he physically glitches when he has a verbal gaffe, he knows it, but his brain is so deteriorated and he's so narcissistic he just keeps going with word salad

[@ObsessiveSting]

Well when you are a self tanning poor hair having vampire lacking a reflection and an idiot it probably just looks like a fancy window into an identical room...

[@matthewtaylor2040]

spends alot more time infront of the american public than Biden. See how conversation works when we use facts? immediately emotion becomes...lets say...irrelevant

[@kidynamite58]

Irony is officially dead.

[@margaretwordnerd5210]

Mic drop!

[@PragmaticPerson]

“A woman in her 40’s.” “What kind of maniac pretend that they won when they lost?” Stephen was on fire last night! Great jokes 😀

[@miel1074]

The same people who cannot understand how a “Cornpop pony soldier’ could get more votes than JFK while campaigning from his basement!!!😂😂😂😂

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@SKC193]

“You can’t let people get away with bullshit”?! From Mr. Bullshit himself!😂😂😂😂

[@elahm76]

if I could I would give a triple thumbs up for tonights show. You make it easier for this Swedish woman getting up in the morning knowing there will be a new show from you to see while I'm having the morning coffee. Thanks for giving my mornings a good start

[@walterhoenig6569]

I’m not a Nikki fan, but the ex-president calling her ‘birdbrain’ is infuriating.

[@fransingolf5314]

Why?

[@freya8133]

​@@fransingolf5314Because it's the pot calling the kettle black?

[@Jerry-Falwells-Poolboy]

She and Dementia Donny are both birdbrains.

[@vjlong4581]

@@Jerry-Falwells-PoolboySo is Biden though we are actually screwed no matter which one wins...

[@vickilawrence7207]

It’s hilarious considering what a tick brain he is

[@phyllisclark4450]

I love Steve Colbert's monologues!

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@7thDayAdventures]

Gotta love CEOs doing the "I'm mad too guys" thing every time we catch them cutting corners to maximize profits. I'm sure it's all part of the equation they calculate to figure out how much our lives cost them.

[@seangoldman6833]

The very first thought I had when I heard that was to wonder how much profit he proudly reported to shareholders for cutting maintenance staff and shortening time for maintenance between flights. Obviously I don't know the circumstances but I'm willing to bet something like that happened.

[@yudithcaron8053]

Next, we will see a South Park-style apology video with this CEO saying "I'm sorry" a dozen times in front of different backgrounds. I can't wait to see the one where he's in front of a fire wearing nothing but his Fruit of the Loom.

[@mickdeegan4651]

Jaimie Dimon at Davos ,predicting Trumps win

[@kiwibob8967]

@seangoldman6833 This is not an Alaska Airlines maintenance problem. It is way too soon in their aircrafts life cycle for that depth of maintenance/inspection to have caused the problem. This is a quality control failure by the manufacturer.

[@kimberknutson831]

Excellent, as always. Thank you. I actually belly laughed several times during this monologue, and I love that feeling. The story about Stephen taking that prescription back in the day and what happened when he got home was awesome. Really good. Thanks again. : )

[@hojichaisfarsuperiortochai9309]

Tim Scott looks like one of those guys who stands behind a news report just to get on tv. 😂😂😂 what a dork 😂😂😂

[@sheilaboston7051]

Well, he managed to get alongside donnie when he told him he loooooooved him. They're all sick.

[@KellsSmith1244]

“Hi mom! I’m on TV”

[@prof.scheere6933]

His smile is gross af like him

[@Slo-ryde]

I am surprised that he didn’t have a sign that said “ blacks for Trump”

[@hojichaisfarsuperiortochai9309]

@@hectorvazquez5867 perhaps one of the discontinued golden chocolate oreos to be accurate.

[@charlottegibbs8950]

This was Stephen's funniest monologue in as long as I can remember.

[@dg8620]

"What kind of maniac pretends that they won when they really lost?" OMG I couldn't breathe. LMFAO

[@rafaelr5243]

Uhmm Hillary Clinton?? Stacey Abrams...need I go on.

[@peterblock6964]

Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, i.e. All Americans, @@rafaelr5243, by over 2 million votes. Because donald won the Electoral College due to a margin of ~80,000 votes in the crucial areas, Hillary Clinton conceded the election immediately. No whining about it being "rigged," no whining about "fake votes," no whining about "please find me x number of votes so I can win," no whining about how everyone is picking on her, no whining about being the most mistreated politician in HISTORY, just NO effin WHINING period. Diaper don-of-the-cheap-orange-clown-makeup IS the GWOAT: the Greatest Whiner Of All Time. … need I go on?

[@willekefarrington3020]

I'm watching this from Europe, The Netherlands. I congratulate the Stephen Colbert team on still being able to make comedy out of comedy.

[@shanedangers]

Blessings we are drowning in shit over here! We can't allow a repeat of January 6th.. but I fear it will come.. stay tuned lol

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@rotterdammer5243]

Hey Fellow Dutchmeister! I`m 2nd generation Canadian, My Oma and Opa and the rest came to Canada after the war. It`s always good to talk to another dutchman. Take care, Proost!

[@dianaverano7878]

I really thought im watching mean girls. Trump should be the club president of mean girls club. The king bee.

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

"Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to hopscotch." - Benjamin Franklin.

[@matthewtaylor2040]

Its honestly a lot more exercise than most are getting nowadays

[@bbbb3341]

😅

[@carlito1ish]

Hail Galvatron crazy as Trump 😂🤣

[@dannyrobert1382]

" ... - Benjamin Franklin" - Winston Churchill

[@Flamenco1313]

That has now become my Colbert fav 😂😂😂.

[@tammystockley-loughlin7680]

If only we were doomed to hopscotch. Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during these trying times.

[@TentinQuarantino_]

The prescriptions being handed out like candy explains KellyAnne Conway’s whackadoodle alternative facts.

[@firstlast-gn5bo]

Alternative medications so they leave his Adderall stash alone. 😂

[@Trigger200284]

I find that very troubling. Not enough time was spent on how sketchy that sound either.

[@roxaskinghearts]

#REPUBLICANS STOP FINCLING IN THE MOUTH OF DEMOCRACY WHO ARE YOU DUBAI

[@alysiareid6659]

So true. I was on ambien for a very short time. I fell several times and did things I didn't remember.

[@justsayin8734]

I wonder if Cassidy has anything to say about drugs in the WH?

[@danacronise4128]

Jon Stewart is a national treasure, and I can't wait to see him on the Daily Show again!

[@sheltonbailey6548]

Colbert just kills me! 😂😅 great monologue!

[@TECHN0]

In America, we don’t tell players to go home after a few mins in the 1st Qtr because a team is leading by 2 touchdowns. We let the game play out.

[@jillfromatlanta427]

A majority of 17% of Republican voters? How is that so yabba dabba doo fantastic? Delusional...

[@feminist5641]

Bravo Stephen...best late night monologue after NH!

[@warren52nz]

*_Is Trump EVER going to talk about policies to improve America or is he just going to whine like an 8 year old?_*

[@tinay9491]

whine, lie and cheat

[@HelynnHeels]

Revenge is his priority. His policies never seem to materialize.

[@lawrencelampke6007]

The latter

[@danburnes722]

He favors himself and Putin only. America just supplies the zombies that vote for him.

[@mitchellhensley2512]

Wrong, he is like a 5 y.o. with a severe learning disability.

[@OlyOly-uh5ik]

I saw Uncle Tim behind Trump, dutifully smiling at Trump’s every sentence.

[@Slo-ryde]

He learned well from Lindsay

[@cathyleatherman3097]

Trump never makes sense … a few minutes listening to him you realize something is mentally wrong with him

[@janetblanc7658]

Obsequious in the extreme

[@canadaclaret]

Spelled "Tim" , pronounced "Tom."

[@talltrini10]

He was resting between shucks and jives

[@dancepiglover]

[Trump] has never been so happy to see a woman in her 40’s - except his own daughter.

[@user-wu1om1rw8t]

Wow - what a wonderful celebration of the Useless United States of United Failed States... When a state gives up on education, you get a shit hole like the Failed States. And lame hosts like Colbert = Failed States.

[@54mgtf22]

Say no to narcissism Say no to extremism Say no to authoritarianism Say no to fascism Say no to Trumpism SAY NO TO TRUMP

[@Runswithwolves6323]

Courage,loyalty,freedom,USA, TRUMP2024!!!🤟

[@rowann26]

Also say no to the GOP since it has all those!

[@JeffisWinning]

tRump for prison 2024!!!

[@lynemac2539]

​@@Runswithwolves6323 Runs with a racist sex offender who eye-balled his own daughter since she was a child, bankrupted several businesses including a casino or three, stole military secrets which may have implications for the current conflicts abroad, suggested suspending the Constitution, and simultaneously bragged and lied about it all because he's such a stable genius and a Legitimate Person. Wouldn't it be great if the kids in your life grow up to be just like him?

[@DrejaAndi]

This rule would also exclude over half of Congress. Yes, some Democrats too.

[@drwisdom1]

Particularly good show tonight with lots of very funny jokes.

[@humanoid251]

The fact that Vermin Supreme’s “hamster wheel technology” is actually more realistic and sound than anything Trump has ever said is depressingly hilarious

[@grmpEqweer]

I've listened to a Vermin Supreme interview...and Vermin is the better-qualified candidate of the two.

[@requiemforameme1]

Dude’s rhetoric skills lies somewhere between used car salesman and amateur wrestler. Which is leagues ahead of Cheeto-Man. Checks out 100%. I’d buy Mr. Supreme a beer.

[@watersipper1116]

His hat choice is better, and I'm not tired of hearing his name yet. Consider writing in Vermin Supreme when you vote.

[@kingjamos2422]

Hamster wheel technology definitely trumps an invisible wall with solar panels to pay for itself even though Mexico is paying for it. But most importantly, Vermin Supreme is just fun to say.

[@nikobatallones]

Trump will be against it. It's like a windmill. Bad for the birds.

[@rosalie4797]

Thank God Steve is available here! I fell asleep and missed all but the last minute of the monologue on tv!😮

[@RainAngel111]

That provigil story was one of the best bits Stephen has done in a long time

[@TheOldHippiebilly]

Jon Stewart back on the Daily Show? Best news I've heard in years! ❤❤❤

[@TheOneFreakservo]

The guy behind Trump looks like his head is hanging off Trump's shoulder like Zaphod Beeblebrox!

[@AdrianColley]

Half of a brain per head? Yeah, that checks out.

[@valeriekhall]

@@AdrianColley Tim Scott definitely forgets his towel.

[@OriginalCaliKitty]

Hitchhiker's Guide reference - I love it!

[@_Pauper_]

Would give you +10 points for the Hitchhiker’s reference but I feel compelled to give you +42

[@dielaughing73]

He's just this guy, y'know?

[@adantigus]

Provigil is pretty wild. It's like having your own personal drill sergeant in your brain screaming at you if you even think about getting sleepy.

[@Sweetyhide]

For normal people, yes. Sometimes, for me, I might as well be eating tic tacs.

[@chrisprescott2273]

Hearing that John Stewart is coming back to the Dailey show was the best news Ive heard in ages.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

OMG!! Poor Stephen! Those drugs and his appendix! He needs Evie to look out for him. Hours long flight? Just sing Barrett's Privateers, that will keep you awake! Sounds like Trump is in late stage Elvis. The "Mar-A-Lago Mafia"! The white jumpsuit next!

[@ReaverLordTonus]

First, forget the Daily show, Jon Stewart should run for congress, imagine how much of a verbal smack down he'd be dishing out every week. Second, Haley should refuse to concede just to piss Trump off, make him know what it feels like.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

if Volodymyr Zelenskyy could become president in Ukraine, so should folks like Jon Stewart in the US :3

[@joaquinpaul8205]

​@@Echo81Rumple83hell yes I can't think of anyone better

[@SPrueser1]

That would really be something! 🙂 until the end of the primary!

[@Mondfischli]

... that's what made him so angry - going back to the trial in New York without being the nominee 😂

[@alvallac2171]

*Jon

[@jonbarnard7186]

This abuse of stimulants goes a long way to explaining Trump's current erratic behavior. You can only abuse stimulants so long before they cause brain damage.

[@andrewdancer8520]

Cause brain damage ?? Wow that happened years ago.

[@VanMan83]

You're funny. They find coke in Biden's White House and you're spewing nonsense about Trump doing drug? It's pathetic. Just DNC projection, accuse your enemy of what you're doing. Colbert turned into the most insufferable DNC shill.

[@later_daze_4080]

Trump supporters after 8 years still haven’t figured out Trump wouldn’t bother to piss on them if they were on fire.

[@Brasswatchman]

And they'd thank him for it.

[@Slo-ryde]

They feel they are not worthy of getting pissed on by the orange messiah !!

[@ScottishRoyal1]

Trump does like piss though just the other way round.

[@liamonyor]

Could be because the democrats throw gas on you when your on fire. @@Brasswatchman

[@pschroeter1]

And make them pay for the privilege. @@Brasswatchman

[@lillia2479]

I was waiting the whole time for Steven to say that "Hopscotch" was trump's safe word. 😂

[@jessicabarber5835]

So glad John is back. We need him.

[@sharonkellner7126]

Trump worries about Niki’s dress. He only worries about the really important things. And he never forgets history.

[@richard1472]

How can you forget something you never knew in the first place? Trump doesn't even know the words to The Star-Spangled Banner, or the Pledge of Allegiance. He's about as American as a Scottish kilt.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

He would have worn it but they didn’t carry it in his size

[@grmpEqweer]

The guy probably has dementia.

[@JLee-rt6ve]

Trump: If the British had listened to me, they would have built a wall along the Delaware and kept that illegal immigrant Jorge Washington out.

[@sheilaboston7051]

How could we all have forgotten about the airports during the Revolutionary War? 🤣🤣

[@laurettamaginley7325]

Keep up the great reporting. Sweet about new Daily Show Host, "How sweet it is !"

[@JohnSmith-vs9rs]

"Can't let people get away with bull$###" You know, mister, you're absolutely right. That's why you're in court, for several things. trump is the walking definition of bull$###

[@histman3133]

And that's why he always wins. 😂You idiot lefties have been trying to impeach him for years on your bullshit charges and the man keeps coming out stronger than ever! MAGA 2024!

[@CraftAmundous]

It's a do as I say, not as I do kind of administration.

[@yobets5225]

I am definitely sick of tRump’s bullish💩t

[@riparianlife97701]

At least Trump doesn't think he's a white woman.

[@gordonanderson3111]

Would you say "LOCK HIM UP" loudly, repeatedly and with calm authority? GITMO DONALD!

[@bizzmoneyb]

the man that has been on prescription "diet pills" for DECADES saying "someone else must be on something??!"🤣

[@alro11]

Jon Stewert is coming back starting in February once/week🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@alvallac2171]

*Stewart

[@BigVictor]

Bring Jon Stewart on! Help him get some more eyeballs on his return to the Daily Show! Please.

[@21972012145525]

Help him?! Jon made Colbert. He doesn't need help

[@matthewtaylor2040]

Jon hasn't done anything, even when he tried to help those afflicted from 9/11. Hes the Donner Kruger effect

[@MicahScottPnD]

OMG, I'm so embarrassed right now. No headboot after Labor Day?! How did I not hear this before, ugh. Egg on my face!!

[@iyeetsecurity922]

I 100% think that _Jon Stewart_ would be one of the best *presidents* in history.

[@maltliquorgaming7822]

I would move to the us for that. :D

[@prof.scheere6933]

Jon Stewart would crush

[@ignaciaforteza7731]

You are just GREAT. I LOVE WATCHING YOU!

[@Feral6-h3g]

For the Trump supporters. “It’s easy to fool a man, but it’s nearly impossible to convince him he’s been fooled.” - Mark Twain

[@jeffd9782]

"Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports," Trump said of the fighting force created by the Continental Congress in 1775. Trump is such a moron

[@NuiYabuko]

​@@eimisavageofficial9196 I doubt the Rubel has much worth now.

[@jeffd9782]

"Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports," Trump said of the fighting force created by the Continental Congress in 1775.

[@meh8982]

That flat, boring, graceless sentence would never have been written by Mark Twain.

[@Thomas-fj8ol]

enjoy a repeat of 2020 maga fascist traitor!@@meh8982

[@mrviggomartin]

Jon stewart returning to the daily show Now thats some epic good news

[@pattiaustin1808]

Oh, we’re so gonna repeat. 81 million of us voted that vile creature out in 2020. Let’s bring out 84 million in 2024! Vote Blue!

[@LB-ye1fj]

Yeah, whoohoo 😐 we see the shithole this country is running into with blue, look what blue did to Seattle and Detroit.

[@Dimmary]

Not Biden. That guy is on his way to the grave.

[@nomore6167]

"Oh, we’re so gonna repeat. 81 million of us voted that vile creature out in 2020" - We'll be extremely lucky if we can get anywhere close to 81 million this time around. Biden has screwed the country by supporting Israel's genocide, by keeping Garland around when he clearly has no interest in upholding or enforcing the Constitution, and for keeping Trump loyalists in senior level positions for far too long.

[@havable]

It will be even more than that. Four years of GenZ have aged in to the electorate. GenZ is the most votingest generation since the world war 2 generation, which is the generation that has dominated our politics for the last 80 years. And GenZ is lovely woke. They're not voting for Trump, and will probably never vote for republicans period. For, in their formative political years, they were being attacked constantly by the republicans, their friends were being dehumanized (if not they themselves). The last thing they're ever going to do is elect republicans to office. And they vote like crazy. They understand the value of voting better than my generation or my parents' or their parents'.

[@clairebear1808]

🇺🇸blue can count on me.

[@MsJMHS]

I always appreciate Vermin Supreme's chaotic energy.

[@loladavino3071]

Joe Biden 2024! Keep America’s democracy strong!

[@Ajattaro]

"He's 80 years old, didn't show up but still kicked my ass" Sounds like a mob boss lol

[@xrayron1]

Part 1: Full Scope of Dominion ICX Hack in Federal Court is FAR Worse than Just the BIC Pen Hack

[@tiosino]

Alaska Airlines CEO says company found loose bolts on ‘many’ Boeing Max 9s. Geez, Stephen! Don't remind me! That's the plane I'll be flying on to Seattle soon. 😳

[@ivancicts]

😂😂😂 that episode was so Hop Scotch!!!!! Jo_tasstic!!!!

[@kylestubbs8867]

“He’s just going through the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Popping Sound, Cold Draft, Oh Crap, the Window!, Hold Onto Something!, Ahhhhhhhh!” -Stephen Colbert

[@justsaying14]

😁😁😁 👍

[@airo2theknee846]

The best joke in the whole episode

[@stie5108]

Just throwing this out there… but can we let trump host his own late night ego feeding show, and have Jon Stewart run for the president? It’s a win win win situation

[@adamfrazer5150]

"Those that don't learn from history......we're not gonna get fooled again" 😐

[@tonyduncan9852]

US: What's history? Rest of World: facepalm.

[@anushapremkumar7356]

I’ve never been so hype for a TV show as I am for Jon’s return to TDS. We missed you sir!!😭😭🫡

[@teresatrigiani7838]

I love this man. Always spot on.

[@marvinsannes9397]

That crowd's gotta be a laugh track. I'd love to see some of those people laughing.

[@laalaa99stl]

Alaska Airlines: where the nuts are free but the bolts will cost ya extra!

[@YusufGinnah]

Colbert: "Trump is losing with Independents..." *Trump: "That's were you're completely wrong Stephen... I won 2016 **_in Depends"_*

[@matthewtaylor2040]

He aint losing. Period. The people are fed up with losing however

[@spacemanx9595]

@@matthewtaylor2040 smoke less maga crack

[@rossnunez3512]

🥁 🥁 🥁

[@Zalzany]

@@matthewtaylor2040 He hasn't won a damn thing minus the redhat votes lol. What was the last court case he won again? Shit must been back in like 2015 or some shit lol. And I bet he just out spent the other person

[@GreenBeanGreenBean]

​@@matthewtaylor2040chump is a loser. Period

[@jazzyjae8169]

JOHN STEWART IS BACK!!! OMG!! I’m so happy! I missed him sooooooon much. Thank you John!!

[@gogreen7794]

Trump was certainly pouring out the whine last night. And this is the guy the majority of Republicans want to be back in the White House.

[@b.comeau2597]

Pouring out the whine….perfectly stated!

[@musicinggp]

Only to pardon all the January 6 house and senate members and those in his administration who aided and abetted the insurrectionists.

[@ely4935]

⁠@@musicinggphe is going to free the “hostages”

[@matthewtaylor2040]

good one! took your time thinking that one

[@B_Bodziak]

He's always been whining not winning.

[@lifeinhd4053]

Daily Show was never the same without Stewart. Best news all year!

[@evelina733]

Trevor Noah was s the best! 😍 but John Stewart s good too

[@Zalzany]

Exactly some them were "ok" but its not same since he left.

[@susiepoadster4642]

Love Stephen giving Jon a Colbert bump! ❤

[@Lokua]

I really hope people take a little time to reflect on how blessed we are to have a show this good. I'm constantly astounded by how good the writing is and how talented Stephen is. Even his physical mannerisms - seemingly simple stuff that nobody else does like snapping his fingers by his ears "did i hear that correctly?" Handing mimed props back to off camera when he's done with a bit - just brilliant. So happy Jon Stewart is coming back because the last time we had two shows on the air that were this good at the same time was...guess who? Best news shows, best comedy shows, and some of the only relief I get.

[@pikhy]

And....I thoroughly enjoyed Trevor Noah and every single guest host and cast member of The Daily Show in the interim!

[@alvallac2171]

*constantly *Jon

[@Lokua]

@@alvallac2171 thanks for the correktion.

[@Lokua]

* correktionS

[@FaithHopeHeart3-5]

S. Colbert Rocks! Love your show!👍

[@NewMessage]

Daddy's coming home? He finally got the cigarettes? I told you! I told you he still loved us!

[@Prince.Hamlet]

Stephen's Provigil story sounded like the opening to meanwhile

[@justinklenk]

My thoughts exactly. 😅

[@Kasino80]

That would explain how he comes up with it.

[@JJ-fu4by]

Thanks Stephen Colbert for focusing on the real issues and not silly stuff like the border crisis or how we’re involved in 2 wars.

[@TempehLiberation]

Dude Vermin Supreme was my very first vote in an election when I was 18, I love that guy!

[@R2D2xC24]

😮😅

[@VerySadPenguin]

He gets my vote just on the pony promise alone.

[@watersipper1116]

@@VerySadPenguin I always wanted one and no candidate has ever promised to give me a pony before.

[@TophinatorStreams]

When you grow up, you can buy your own pony. With the money you were able to make, due to jobs you were able to get, by a president whose term held the lowest unemployment rates, Biden. I like your comment, tho, pretty funny 😆

[@nomore6167]

@@TophinatorStreams "by a president whose term held the lowest unemployment rates" - Look up what the "unemployment rate" actually is and how they calculate it. You may be surprised. Hint: it's not actually the percentage of people who are unemployed. Also, despite what the media and every administration wants you to believe, the President (regardless of party) has little power over jobs/employment.

[@TheOfficialTarynTots]

I am super excited that Jon will back back on TDS on mondays through the end of the year but wish it was the whole week. I'm just so excited to have him back any way we can!

[@alvallac2171]

*any way (different meaning)

[@TheOfficialTarynTots]

@@alvallac2171 Oops, I can't believe I missed a space on accident and was called out for my outrageous typo. I will correct it post-haste.

[@Blair1Collins]

Yay Haley. Keep it up. . :-)

[@flangekiwi]

Evie wasn't around??? I bet she had the home security cameras on and was laughing her ass off 🤣 😂 🤣

[@21972012145525]

I'm sad why wasn't she around 😢

[@environmentallymindedequal6697]

The hypocrisy is so overt… it’s like hitting you in the face with a planet.

[@DuckReach432]

Never mind the White House pharmacy handing out Provigil. Who the heck is troweling on Trump's fake tan? It somehow looks an inch thick whilst contouring to every wrinkle.

[@matthewtaylor2040]

sick burn! even if hes pasty white, hes still got a more attractive wife

[@grmpEqweer]

It's sprayed on.

[@grmpEqweer]

@@matthewtaylor2040She's only into him for his money; it's pretty clear he disgusts her. He's her job. ...I don't care how pretty someone is, being done like a chore sucks.

[@dicedrice7216]

He looks like he ran out of spray-tan and had to resort to shoe-polish.

[@Zalzany]

@@matthewtaylor2040 That won't be seen with him to save her life, and he still has to pay porn stars to sleep with him lol A hot trophy wife who sleeps in another bed is nothing to fucking brag about lol.

[@ellzgoespro6568]

Jon Stewart is coming back. That's the headline, the segment and the end. Thanks Steve!

[@James-mw7zv]

This country turning into one big joke. May as well laugh about it.

[@c0l0jar0]

How did Alaska airlines not check that all the bolts were present before they flew the thing the first time?

[@WeDeserveBetterNow]

You forgot the final stage of grief... "Do you have any Provigil?"

[@FlorianMickler]

You have to say, the deliveries of that guy are great. 👍

[@timothyhollywood2130]

I totally agree with Vermin Supreme. All Americans should have a pony.

[@robert_nyc]

Priceless! 😂 hopscotch?!😮

[@dancepiglover]

He is probably two weeks away from speaking in a total word salad. An entire speech of random words.

[@hevenzgaming]

OMG JOHN STEWART IS BACK?!?!?!!? just when america needed him!

[@debtoralive4693]

Remember why it is fine print. That's where they reveal how the con works legally. It's required by law to be unreadable.

[@nielsmichiels1939]

Jon Steward is BACK! I'm so happy! We need him in these times.

[@tubruton]

Trump is mad because Nikki Haley has the same first letter in her name as Nancy Pelosi which is really confusing.

[@AdrianColley]

This is why there are exactly 26 world leaders.

[@buffoon1234]

Yes 5 and nine…. In the afternoon 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤣

[@siipis7766]

Doesnt explain still why he thinks he running against Obama

[@jodyjm13]

Same reason why I keep confusing Donald Trump and David Duke.

[@tubruton]

@@jodyjm13 Lol

[@zebeart8808]

So funny. Makes my day❤