Trump Indulges His Penchant For Chanting Mobs By Tweeting Encouragement To Lockdown Protesters

[@laalaa99stl]

LIBERATE THE WHITE HOUSE!

[@delugesofgrandeur]

Fumigate the white house.

[@staceykersting705]

Open the White House...invite the protesters.

[@errgag3580]

Trump just said that hundreds of state governors have called to congratulate him on how great a job he's doing with Covid-19. Take all the time you want with this one people!

[@cynt9697]

Hundreds of governors??? Aren’t there only 50??

[@alexanderleal8770]

Timothy McCaskey 😂😂😂it took me a second to make the connection. 😂😂😂

[@franciscovilleda2947]

The joke tells itself...

[@j.riffney7939]

😂🤣😅

[@TheBusyJane]

Genuinely can't tell if it's a joke or this really happened.

[@jessaguilar4747]

I love Stephen as dad and husband. His joy is lovely.

[@catherineandujar2482]

These people scream about their rights to get hair cuts and other meaningless things. Well the rest of us have a right to stay healthy so GO HOME! STAY THERE!

[@CIAoperativeRinkEDink]

Wear a mask, wash your hands, 6ft distance. Oh wait, libtards born yesterday.

[@Shuizid]

It's just amazing how freaking entitled this braindead zombies are. No wonder climate change will not be tackled, those fuckheads get a panickattack if they go without a haircut for a week. I don't fully understand how FOX works, but turning people somehow into extremly whiny AND extremly violent people, seems like an amazing, yet frightening ability... Though maybe you just need to be REALLY dump.

[@jameswayne2422]

No, we want Republicans to congregate. That way they can die off in huge numbers. It would be an epic reaffirmation of natural selection. Go Darwinism!

[@julietteSoul]

CIA Operative Rink E Dink Why are you make this political when his supporters are not following any of the rules! Get your head out of your ass🙏🏽

[@marvissmith4588]

The mortician will gladly give any cosmetic service they want.

[@mrshadowbright4041]

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” ― Groucho Marx

[@bierrollerful]

Wouldn't that mean that Trump is doing politics right?

[@GHustle4]

@@bierrollerful WRONG! you can't comprehend....

[@lioraselby5328]

I’ve always been a bit of a Marxist-Lennonist.

[@Misses-Hippy]

@@lioraselby5328 Yeah, Groucho and John.

[@fionaanderson5796]

@@bierrollerful almost. I don't think he goes looking for trouble, he's far too scared of it, he just likes making trouble for anyone who might oppose him.

[@MyBlueZed]

8:50 Notice that the reporter said “self congratulations”. Trump would not have understood “self aggrandisement”.

[@GeneField]

This is what it's come to, the President of the United States of America demonstrating the difference between a swab and a qtip. Every day I think I've seen it all, and yet...

[@seriousone8030]

"Is this really the time for self-congratulations?" Thank you, Jeremy Diamond, for that question.

[@mrshadowbright4041]

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” ― Groucho Marx

[@paulettewilliams6492]

Absolutely Perfect!

[@mrshadowbright4041]

@Universe Onesong any time glad i could help

[@dakotacross1519]

i heard that something like that in a batman arkham game!

[@barbwire3507]

“What kind of fool do you take me for?” “Are there more kinds than one?” - The 3 Stooges

[@joanna62]

Priceless!

[@anonymous-zn5em]

"To argue with someone who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." -- Thomas Paine

[@damarmar1001]

If you are a trump supporter, you're an idiot Hamberder king aka Linke loetje lol

[@markb4101]

That’s a great quote.!

[@kylemccormick4589]

“I’m reading Beloved by Toni Morrison” “Is it funny?” “I don’t know I’m on page 4” Well John is in for one helluva ride.

[@lizabuddenhagen9906]

And Stephen, no time like a global pandemic to read a classic. Read Beloved.

[@tonnyangkawan2168]

Ironically that the so called "pro-life" now becomes pro-choice lol

[@giabarrone7422]

Tonny Angkawan It has always been a misnomer, they are all really pro-birth. They couldn't care less when/how the unwanted child is killed after birth. In this pandemic, they are still pro-birth, requiring women to birth babies against their will in hospitals lousy with COVID-19. I still don't understand how it is constitutional to prohibit abortions, even under stay-at-home orders.

[@transylvanianite3391]

prolife and 2nd amendment don't jibe

[@Shuizid]

Because they never were anti-choice. They are "anti-OTHERS-choice", meaning wannabe dictators who don't want others to have a choice. They want control: over woman, bodies, non-whites, often whites, people with different opinions...

[@gluteusmaximus1657]

Now - that's a good one !

[@derry667dingo]

And they are choosing to endanger lives. Typical alt-right logic.

[@TheClipperchip]

Ummmm. Ya, the American president is insane....anyone???

[@dingobat2389]

No doubt.

[@oddcoyote2598]

@James Fahnestock and you are marked for death by the Coronavirus. So keep attending protests and stay outside as much as possible.

[@pandoraswatcher9637]

We’ve known for years

[@jifeixu]

James Fahnestock looking forward for your positive test on corona virus. Oh wait.. you can’t get one

[@aussiejim1616]

@James Fahnestock You wouldn't know a "commie" if you fell over one! Let me know if you know where to find one.

[@mclmg]

I thought his "I inherited a broken junk" is how he explained "it is hard to get it aroused".

[@darkangel4185]

Wall Street Journal 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@carinam.9447]

Is anybody else immediately rolling their eyes whenever Trump starts speaking? It's somehow become a reflex...

[@brendanbloomberg3283]

Because you're childish ....children roll their eyes.

[@aaronharvey6992]

Yup...For me, it is more of a gag reflex.

[@celticlass8573]

@@brendanbloomberg3283 Everyone with half a brain is rolling their eyes at the very least. We're also not trolls like you.

[@brendanbloomberg3283]

@@celticlass8573 I agree people with one half of a brain are rolling their eyes! See what I did there?

[@ivanobar1]

Brendan bloomb...for someone with 1/2 a brain you are clever.

[@Hexatomb]

Inciting riots shouldn't be something our president endorses...

[@jaydavids6485]

But I want pure chaos...I don't care anymore

[@marketbuy]

A year ago, he was calling for civil war if he was impeached. For real!,

[@greuge3166]

Inciting riots shouldn't be done by the so-called president

[@bc3779]

That sounds reasonable

[@deniseboldea1624]

Or praising those same protesters when they block ambulances from reaching the hospitals.

[@maggieg7673]

Trump had over 3 years to “fix the broken system”

[@jonnelson9760]

His job is not to fix anything but to convince you he fixed everything or at least it wasn’t his fault.

[@threelikes8128]

Actually, he destroyed the system.

[@toddtravis2596]

Unfortunately nasty pelosi and her crew have blocked everything he's tried to do for us. 🤦🏾‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️✌🏾🧡🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@Chipotleadvisory]

Also the test was only developed last year.

[@gangelone999]

@@threelikes8128 that's a good thing

[@makiburgess5733]

The question about self-congratulation was great.

[@adad7421]

Just wish the reporter didn't sit there and take all of his insulting remarks afterwards

[@surrepeight]

What a sight to see - a person carrying a sign saying "Give me liberty or give me Covid-19".

[@Lon.BedStuyforLife]

"Beloved" is a POWERFUL novel. An excellent read. Read it several times myself.

[@adrianneedwards6179]

I’m so glad more reporters are calling him out.

[@kathryn3950]

Adrianne Edwards I think they’ve had it with him

[@Wichnam]

4 years to late sadly.

[@zenger74]

Such a shame George Carlin isn't around to share his thoughts

[@6eloved]

Dammit, so true.

[@canoegirl6335]

That would have been a game changer!

[@akumaz9635]

If he was still alive I'm not sure if he would still wanna be anywhere near this mess lol.

[@costabotes9107]

john sangers or indeed, his thoughts ...

[@vmacart]

and frank zappa too

[@lazyperfectionist1]

"You hear so much about testing." Yes. I do. I hear things like, "We don't have the supplies we need to test all the people we need to test," and "Send us more testing supplies."

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

@@brandensilverstar "multiple Generals": General Incompetence, General Ignorance, General Deception, General Nepotism, General Cronyism, General.................

[@stevehill766]

@@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 This self declared war time president is the reincarnation of his great great granddaddy General Neaureguard

[@jasthebaker]

"I had inherited a broken system" you sure? Didn't Obama have a pandemic team set up just for such a issue yet you got rid of them. Also didn't you not restock the national stock pile as you didn't make sure that it was properly taken care of for a few years so some stuff in it had expired/decomposed as no one was incharge of taking care of it.

[@Vanadisphoto]

*In 2017, Obama officials briefed Trump's team on dealing with a pandemic like the coronavirus. One Cabinet member reportedly fell asleep, and others didn't want to be there. * www.businessinsider.com/trump-appointees-trained-pandemic-response-in-2016-2020-3?r=US&IR=T

[@sharongamble9854]

Obama was an absolutely terrible and uncaring president. He liked smoking, basketball, golf, and sending his wife and daughters out of the U.S. with a huge entourage costing the tax payer millions of dollars. He answered to globalists and not to American citizens. He had his blackberry and pen he said he would use for executive orders if he didn't get his way. He caused the highest unemployment in decades. He promised to give "Obama" phones and houses to the citizens in the city of Detroit. He said the U.S. has 57 states. Listen to his pastor condemn and swear at the U.S. during a "sermon" in his church. Obama was not a good president. He allowed depletion of PPE's and other necessary health care supplies. He wrote a health system that fined people if they didn't agree to sign up for it. The Affordable Care Act caused people's health care premiums to rise for many people to 500%. He left our country a mess and then tried to prevent President Trump from taking his elected position as President.

[@Khronogi]

@@sharongamble9854 you current president doesnt like golf or needlessly spending the governments money on protection? (Hes spent far more than obama did)

[@Khronogi]

@@sharongamble9854 and if we speak about who the president surrounds themselves with, your current president surrounded himself with straight up criminals and conmen.

[@Khronogi]

@@sharongamble9854 and if that's not enough, your post is filled with lies. Plus, the ACA was gutted by republicans, who ended up creating the bill that you complain about so much.

[@DrakeyC]

"I'm standing up for the men and women working in hospitals, by reading a newspaper article to you about what a good job I'm doing" John Oliver was right, we could get a more coherent President by just reading aloud the predicted text our phones give us.

[@adad7421]

I can easily say Health workers in general find Trump to be narcissistic

[@DrakeyC]

@@adad7421 Decent human beings in general should find Trump to be narcissistic

[@spammyhell6566]

+DrakeyC ~ A bit of clarity for anyone who doesn't know: WSJ is part of the Murdoch publishing empire, just a slightly more credible version of Fox "News." Every once in a while some really critical editorial will get through, but for the most part they're just cheer leading - just like Faux, only a bit more subtlte abt it.

[@nguyenxbj]

I'm surprised he even tried to give a response. Thought he'd just dismiss the question.

[@Justanotherconsumer]

Ad Ad that’s probably kinder than the words many would use...

[@nikkicornelius279]

His choking back the vomit had me laughing so hard I actually choked! I swear Stephen Colbert is the only way I can handle the news anymore.

[@TiberiusRex182]

Nikki Cornelius john oliver too

[@DQ_Mine]

@@TiberiusRex182 Jimmy Kimmel also.

[@nikkicornelius279]

@@TiberiusRex182 he is my other favorite!

[@carolynworthington8996]

Nikki Cornelius And don’t forget Seth Myers.

[@ArtificialArtist]

Stay safe America, stay safe from Trump, the rest of the World stands beside you against this sad tyrant.

[@Belnick6666]

rest of the world love trump, only half of USA dislike him(the idiot libtards haha) in my country Donald Trump look like the greatest president united states have ever had

[@chattycathy8089]

@@Belnick6666 be best....

[@Eschatonx]

Can’t stay safe in that country. Glad I left two years ago.

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

@@Eschatonx It's harder for us to leave since Mexico tricked trump into building that border wall.

[@SparkShadow212]

@@Belnick6666 Oh, we love him alright. We love him for all the wrong reasons.

[@Jack908r]

It's odd that these protestors have no problem with claiming their rights, but never ever talk about their responsibilities.

[@ghostmobiil]

The Karen mentality

[@pauld.b7129]

Actually your own health is your responsibility. We all have the right to take whatever risk we see fit. It's not my responsibility to take care of YOUR health. If you see it as too much of a risk to go out in public, don't do it. But demanding others don't for your own personal safety is nonsense. This new virus means there is new risks, but they are yours to navigate. Wear gloves, masks, wear a damn hazmat suit if you want, but telling people they can't do things that are well within their rights to do is not a privilege you have.

[@Jack908r]

@@pauld.b7129 Point proven.

[@Diane-tq7lw]

@@ghostmobiil 00+p

[@dianehutchinson9257]

@@pauld.b7129 Ever heard of reckless endangerment? You do not have the right to just put people's lives at risk just because you feel like it. There are limits to personal freedom. Also, ever heard of doing the right thing?

[@FrankieJamesNews]

“Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

"Timmeh." - Timmy, South Park

[@squamish4244]

Great quote!

[@subrotochatterjee5788]

Then that’s hardly a clever man!

[@Greg042869]

Or drunk.

[@tamil8108]

Dude I love that anime.

[@stapleskeri9811]

If I hear the word “aroused” coming out from the orange tube one more time, imma have to cut off my bleeding ears 😫😫😫

[@brigidann23]

Imagine one of his advisers trying to tell him what "aroused" means...

[@Wichnam]

"You've never been so aroused before, I don't think there has ever been so much arousing by a man talking about arousement in the history of arousing others."

[@saltedbuttercups]

@@Wichnam I am literally begging you to stop.

[@darkangel4185]

🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@dav__made]

Exactly 😂 poor Melania imagine trying to get turned on by this buffoon

[@emma_de_dilemma]

Honestly, I'm living for this. Stephen, I love how you interact with your kids, just knowing that your family is still there, and seeing everything a bit behind the scenes makes the reality that is this situation a bit more lighthearted

[@JoeyKlu]

One of the few bright sides of the pandemic has been getting to see the more personal side of show hosts and TV personalities. The Colbert household seems open and warm and thoughtful, and this pleases me. :3

[@cjordan1161]

It pleases you that in front of his children he disrespects Mr. Trumps dead father ? It pleases you that he is making fun of a great American novel ? Pay close attention and use your analytical brain . It is when these people are at home , when you get a glimpse at how vile they can be.

[@bekel]

Why does the media continue to give him airtime?

[@shadowrealm8014]

Well the level of his stupidity is astonishing .my guess is people like to see the more depts he goes with his constant lying

[@dcinrb8538]

Future documentation for Trump's various trials. Unedited video will provide lots of evidence.

[@bsarioz]

Cause he's elected and he's a reality TV host of the entire country of the USA. And we are all required to participate in the reality show.

[@Gorbag100]

people watch it, and that makes money. at the end of the day, even the news are only companies that need to make money.

[@MM-nh8ez]

Same reason they gave him so much in the run up to the 2016 election. He's a circus and the best distraction money can buy.

[@lazyperfectionist1]

"We need to be the Rosa Parks." 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 Oh, good god!

[@theultimatereductionist7592]

So glad to hear Stephen Moore is getting a sex change operation & skin darkening operation.

[@alenegonebad1259]

Fauler Perfektionist almost spit my water out, potentially infecting everyone in my family.

[@rickhard3979]

Yeah, that one set white people back a bit. Lol😂

[@peterl.104]

Too bad Colbert couldn’t do a “Rosa Parks of parks” joke. I can’t think of one, so I was hoping he can.

[@christinebuckingham8369]

The Ultimate Reductionist Who is Stephen Moore?

[@michaelm4939]

The mayor in “Jaws” wanted to keep the beaches open to save the economy, food for thought.

[@DaveGIS123]

...food for sharks, too...

[@michaelm4939]

David Ramsay ❤️

[@cayk481]

@Wade Haden - Master Jedi Engineer Goth swim like hell

[@alexmartinez5859]

Da duh.

[@sweetyfox7058]

We're going to need a bigger hospital.

[@mksabourinable]

Does Trump think the swab is the test??? Someone PLEASE tell him it's just what's used to collect the mucus to be tested I can't

[@harrybetteridge7532]

Was anybody else hoping he would demonstrate the swab by sticking it up is nose like Homer Simpson and the crayon.

[@karen.island3697]

Well, it’s a beautiful Q-tip! The best, the greatest, the most fantastic Q-tip you’ve ever seen! Obama had a terrible, shameful Q-tip but I alone have the best Q-tip in all the world. - DJT

[@nonyabizness.original]

he's just demonstrating that a little bitty one is just as good as, exactly the same as, just as perfect as, probably more perfect than, definately even better than, a full-sized one, or even a big one. yeah, tiny ones are better than big ones. that's what he's trying to tell -himself- you.

[@StoneColdFox17]

"People are dying that have never died before" -The Donald

[@chrislickteig5697]

Good lord.... Did he actually say that? 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@CIAoperativeRinkEDink]

@@chrislickteig5697 No. Libtards lying as usual. www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-quote-never-died-before/

[@Samzillah]

@@CIAoperativeRinkEDink omg. It's a joke 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@chrislickteig5697]

@@CIAoperativeRinkEDink Honestly, it sounds like something he would say... I'm not left or right, but that wouldn't surprise me.

[@Deesboots5326]

It was most certainly said!

[@davidcopperfield-notthemag397]

I know you night time comedy talk show hosts have a hard time doing your shows with NO AUDIENCE. Let me take this opportunity to assure you Stephen and others that you are doing an excellent job! I was stunned to see how quickly you adjusted to the no audience reality. It isn't something that you could prepare for...We are still laughing at you. We are still feeling relief from our stresses when we watch you. Don't despair, your fans still love you and we are very grateful you are still doing your shows and not showing reruns! Way to go! Thank you for not leaving us! 👍👍

[@rosedruid]

If his goal was to honour the medical workers then he’s failing at that too!

[@adamsnewman5480]

By the way I live in Florida you know where the governor put his mask on Sideways. So pray for me pray for me hard.

[@frankie1012]

Adams Newman 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@GoGreen1977]

Your governor reminded me of a video I just saw of an orangutan trying to put on a face mask. He/she ended up putting it around its shoulders.

[@masterimbecile]

F

[@markfeland2285]

I'm an atheist but I'll make an exception in your case. Florida is gonna be a shitshow

[@KCohere33]

Stay off the beaches

[@DrWoodyII]

Trump has literally, redefined the word "stupid."

[@philipclayberg4928]

Trump and intelligence. Contradiction in terms.

[@amit_patel654]

Yup, and he keeps redefining it every press conference

[@kyuhwanshin6369]

Pls you are insulting real stupid people

[@Jedsa009]

Instead of calling someone stupid, we can tell them "You are Trump."

[@phangkuanhoong7967]

nah. he just weaponized it.

[@pauldacus4590]

Signs at Trump rally: *GIVE ME LIBERTY **-OR-** AND GIVE ME DEATH*

[@ellenmcarthur4599]

👍👍

[@tjs653]

I bet he gets death.

[@superfreakmusic7681]

Yeah-just shows their level of intelligence that they cant even see that it isnt a trade off

[@alishaygan9844]

Give em all death

[@MrGibble64]

@@alishaygan9844 trump first please . . .

[@deniseboldea1624]

Seriously, dropping Rosa Parks name? If this virus existed on that fateful day she would have had the good sense not to be on that bus which is more than what I can say about those protesters.

[@AnneWilkynson]

I know, I actually gasped, couldn't believe my ears! Depravity knows no bounds!

[@joannajamerson35]

Hopefully she will haunt him

[@totalhorse6987]

Segregation now for stupid people. Segregation tomorrow for stupid people. Segregation forever for stupid people.

[@YahNation]

hahahahahahahah They would never have closed U.S. due to the lack of warnings.

[@bananian]

White people always trying to appropriate black movements.

[@iambensummers]

Trump is literally the guy who would say "I'm more humble than you."

[@moeclash238]

He most likely did say that to someone

[@wildreams]

"I'm the most humble guy you ever know."

[@RS-Caleb]

he has said that to several reporters lmao

[@kevtb874]

I am the most humble person you have ever met

[@ωις-λ3π]

Now I have the song "I'm So Humble" by The Lonely Island stuck in my head.

[@toothpastehombre]

Things have gotten so ugly, these comedy bits feel more sad than satirical

[@brendanbloomberg3283]

Stephen Colbert is always awful.

[@BeeTheBird]

@@brendanbloomberg3283 I don't think that's what he meant. He may be trying to say the content of the news and the perpetual vicious cycle of stupidity delivered by Trump is depressing rather than humorous. He's not trying to single out Stephen's (or any comedian/late night host's) show

[@meatwad74]

ya I stopped watching them last year. beginning of his presidency it was funny. then when he started getting away with bloody treason and criminal acts, just because of the deep deep state, and right wing nut jobs and influencers, it was just sad to watch

[@FireMott]

You know your going down fast when satirical becomes your reality!

[@michiyodoll9916]

He became Chuck Todd. We want see COMEDY, not late night meet the press...

[@RussMcClay]

Thank you for posting these clips to KZbin, Stephen! Very much appreciate your good attitude in these viral times.

[@juniperDave]

Deaths per million: USA 128; Sweden 156; Australia 3; New Zealand 2 Early introduction of social distancing, two week mandatory hotel quarantine for all international travellers (citizens or otherwise ), ‘lockdowns’ to various degrees, plus testing and contact tracing, have seen AUS and NZ achieve very low infection and mortality rates per capita. A series of welfare stimulus packages ($750/wk for the employer to pass through 100% to the employee to be kept employed), plus basic universal health care are probably also positive contributions to the overall outcome to date. Further, from the start, the two Prime Ministers were talking about measures being in place for ‘at least 6 months’- might be helping in the management of expectations. Cabin fever exists, but it hasn’t resulted in manic demonstrations.

[@danpease8395]

The president needs to put his money where his mouth is and have a big rally in front of the White House, and get right in there and shake thousands of hands!

[@oneworld9071]

And while he's at it, sign copies of the Q'uran in the same manner as he did to the Holy Bible....... live signing tour from Syria to Iraq and Afghanistan.

[@carametz4730]

He ought to go back and visit his dear friend and lover boy pen pal of sorts for a few while he's down and out. They're so close and havent seen each other since that weird party in the DMZ! That's what friends are for♡

[@lospareid]

They could allow people to stop “shelter in place” measures as long as they waive their right to get treated for Covid 19. Bet they’d think it over

[@foreversocal1]

My sentiments exactly. You wanna go out before it's advised? sign this here waiver, says you refuse any healthcare or ventilator assistance if you end up w positive covid test.

[@espen5122]

If they get infected they can spread it to others.

[@notanavrageloser]

Nope. Some of us HAVE to go out there - “essential” jobs, groceries, no on-site laundry, etc. We would be punished for their asshatery, and that’s bullshit.

[@The-Autistic-Rat]

Yes, let's round everybody up that doesn't follow the prevailing societal orthodoxy, and stash them all in corona camps. It's their fault they're dumb because I got smart all on my own by passively absorbing my entire worldview from the outermost layer of the Overton window using the least amount of effort or critical thought possible.

[@firestream93]

Some of us just aren't as paranoid as you.

[@cchurchill503]

Welp, never going to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse again.

[@mykalsarakula3652]

i am one last time 2 fer one on sunday porterhouse..who s in the house ..

[@luvmibratt]

Never even of heard of one in Illinois so no big loss🤷

[@Kattywagon29]

I stopped going there a long time ago. Their food is just ok, as far as I'm concerned, and not worth the price. Plus, in my experience, the waiters are rude.

[@vinista256]

I went there once in the 1980’s. The date was forgettable and so was the food-heaping, overpriced portions of meat and bland vegetables. Have not been back since and have even less incentive to go back now.

[@HummerLove]

Ruth's Chris is overrated anyway.

[@e-manr.486]

While holding the swab, "Would you like to see it?" No...say freaking no. It's a pointless distraction. 😩

[@giabarrone7422]

Marius Thefaker That was my first thought. He probably thought every man needs an extra long swab to test their "broken junk" they believe they inherited.

[@DQ_Mine]

He thinks we are impressed with 2 sticks with cotton on top? I bet most of us have them in our bathroom for cleaning our ears! Whoop dee doo! What a joke! He wastes everyone's time and taxpayer money for This? Our grandparents are Spinning in their graves right now!

[@JSkyGemini]

It was ridiculous. They have better show and tells in the third grade, for crying out loud. Can you imagine any other president doing that? "Sophisticated technology", I've heard everything now.

[@smiller2044]

E-man R what was the point of that Q-tip bit?

[@cathieludemann5879]

@@JSkyGemini: I was waiting for him to show how it works. One swab up his nose and a Q-tip in each ear.

[@markmh835]

Now let me see if I've got this straight: if an unknown man was found in the woods wandering around claiming to be a "successful businessman" (despite numerous bankruptcies), spouting lies and nonsense, barely able to form a coherent English sentence, losing his temper at the slightest provocation, shouting at and insulting innocent people just trying to do their jobs, and ranting and raving about perceived threats to himself, and incessantly demanding all attention and praise from whomever is within earshot ------- I'm pretty sure that such a person would be taken to the nearest funny farm/mental institution instead of being taken to the White House to govern a nation. What idiots got us into this mess? Point the finger at the members of the Electoral College (find out who yours were in 2016, and..........) and the spineless Republicans in the US Senate. They all had a chance to remove this idiot from power, but chose to follow party loyalty instead. The (contaminated) blood of 40,000 Americans is on the hands of all these people. And meanwhile, the Large Orange Oaf continue to plow his way through the White House with no one representing the interests of the people.

[@danielschroedinger2090]

Hate to break it to you, but all of this lunacy was obvious since the very start of his campaign and 63Million Americans willingly voted for him. Yes i know the electoral college is what got him elected in the end, but there is no denying that 26% of all Americans looked at this clown and were convinced they wanted this. One in 4 actively voted for him and a whole lot more just didn't care enough to show up and vote. What im getting at is: this is not just a case of a handfull of sleazy dirtbags and morons pulling the strings to now get mad ad. This right here represents a significant portion of the USA. Your problems go WAY deeper than just a couple evil men in suits.

[@pisces363]

Daniel Schroedinger You’re absolutely right. There is nothing in the world to convince millions of Americans that this administration is a failure. They will literally support it even if it kills them.

[@Ariels888]

Dude, I think that you just described Mormons!! 🤣😂🤣😂 To be fair that also describes all religions ° Crazy men brainwashing the masses via religion! False religion, and completely man made system!

[@geraldgrenier8132]

@@pisces363 not if, when. Hear the anadote of NYC fox news view restraints ownwho belive them that it was over broke social distancing get sick iand died?

[@mikel6989]

its like the movie idiocracy, a comedy turned documentary. sad how stupid people have become

[@specialpatrolgroup92]

Aside from the obvious, the Rosa Parks analogy is stupid because she was thinking about something a tad more important than getting her next haircut.

[@annapurna391]

I'd say so!

[@gardenbun]

Perhaps I've been in self-isolation too long, but 'casually-dressed Stephen' speaking in a Scottish brogue is quite the surprising turn-on!

[@bjorngerlach7829]

My goodness...can you imagine let’s say Robert Downey Jr. giving an interview, then pulling out a paper and reading out his positive reviews? I at least would think he’s lost his marbles and he’s only an actor. Can’t people see that this is pathological behavior? That Trump is greatly disturbed? How can so many people still justify defending him?

[@adamchristopher6917]

Not disturbed. Senile. Full effects should set in by November.

[@jimreily7538]

I don't know why people can't see this either. Why his supporters can't see this. It's incredible.

[@IAmJustR]

they cant see through their own pathology

[@captlanc]

Because he is pathological.

[@chloekey8043]

Malignant narcissist

[@pauline_2373]

" I inherited broken junk" and "its really hard to get it aroused " 🤣🤣🤣 That media room must be in tears 🤣

[@Karajorma]

You didn't get it aroused, it just faked it.

[@evelynwilliams6242]

Kind have Colberr's reaction, *dry heave*

[@pauline_2373]

@@evelynwilliams6242 me too 🤣

[@Fantumh]

"It's very sophisticated actually." Our "leader" thinks a Q-tip is sophisticated. Let that sink in.

[@buddhacook1087]

Be careful......this man trump appears to be stupid but just maybe he's just plain Dangerous.....he's a snake & he can't be trusted

[@Karajorma]

Well, this is all about compensating for his unsophisticated penis, so....

[@lioraselby5328]

Karajorma Toad from the Mario series

[@wolski45]

The longer 'swab' is what he uses to clean the opposite ear and visa versa to span the vast vacuum between them.

🤣

[@mori1bund]

Moron: give me liberty or give me covid19 covid19: you're welcome

[@philosophysics8150]

WHAT CAN I SAY BUT YOU'RE WELCOME!

[@bjasmine]

The gift that keeps on giving.

[@ey8767]

covid19: Why not both?

[@currentresident3775]

If he's yelling "Liberate Minnesota!" etc., why doesn't he go out and lead the protests in person? How badly does he want to identify with a military movement of some sort, but NEVER manages to put a foot forward? His rallies are paltry 3rd rate substitutes, which is why he holds them and attends them in person. C'mon.

[@targetseeker]

he dodged 'nam (and has the gall to shit talk john mccain for being a POW), he sure as hell as going to dodge covid-19.

[@srkh8966]

Current Resident Brilliant.

[@smike-lz8uf]

In his gold 'military' bomber jacket. :-))

[@noodlelicious.]

Agree.

[@nancouch1557]

All of the idiots, trump and trump's fools brainwashed by Fox News and the Rightwing media do this shit for attention...so please can we just ignore them!

[@marijnjc]

If anything, this says something about how we should look at our education system.

[@TiberiusRex182]

We have almost successfully finished privatizing education, its only downhill from here, and faster than we like.

[@jhonshephard921]

and healthcare AND administration for that matter. You know what other countries are doing while the US bickers about a binary open or not open?(mainly due to cheeto wanting credit for a full-blown open) They are discussing protocols. They are using this time to think of how to continue social distancing AND minimize risks after opening. The protocols have to be federal otherwise they are useless as people move across state lines and if 45 doesn't set aside his ego, we won't have those guidelines.

[@samueloluwapelumi4735]

Your profile picture is very distracting.

[@delugesofgrandeur]

Sadly it's too late to educate Trump voters. Coronavirus, do your thing.

[@danderson8431]

Idk why but Stephen is looking GOOD in that green shirt. It’s probably has something to do with the way his sleeves are rolled up.

[@ellamone9998]

It's the tan, he's been working on it for over a week. I hate it when the tanning oil gets in the eyes tho :) I use a Q-tip on the corner of eye to soak it out :) My Tip for Today.

[@DQ_Mine]

Lol! That's what I was thinking! That shirt! He looks great!

[@DQ_Mine]

@@ellamone9998 You sure it isn't just a short swab?

[@pattykeough]

I agree! And it's like shiny! I was wondering if it was just me, guess not.

[@saintmichael1779]

Olive green is his color.

[@n.a.4292]

Italian here, to put it simply: "Covid is like russian roulette because everyone has a chance to die, but some people (elders, already ill individuals) have more than one loaded chamber" Again, everyone can die, not just elders. Btw, obesity/high blood pressure are another risk factor.

[@Call-me-Al]

Yep. Healthy young people who spend a lot of time in covid-19 rich environments get sick and die, such as healthcare workers and any staff at elder care homes that got infected.

[@fuddyduddyhorsemanship]

to that add smoking, stressinduced low immune system, and habitually breathing bad air such as the London bus drivers

[@ziziroberts8041]

And diabetes.

[@treehugger3615]

Like if Americans (specially down in the south) don't have a obesity problems.

[@n.a.4292]

@Aaron mitzweiA Danke shön

[@1pt21gw]

Why do reporters even show up to these things? He never answers a question truthfully.

[@dianamay6017]

I know this is shallow, but Stephen looks lovely in that green shirt

[@cjordan1161]

Hey Diana , don't apologize . Who thinks that this show is any think but rubbish ?

[@fe5018]

He does, doesn't he? My favourite look of the lockdown so far(although I loved the suit jacket in the tub too)

[@graysthenewblonde177]

Diana May I was thinking the same thing!

[@thebarnyard5633]

Diana May When did saying a compliment become shallow?

[@buttahp]

I'm here for it.

[@lindsayzeller4389]

Your son reading Beloved makes my English teacher heart happy.

[@1234akiko1]

Can we pause for a moment and just appreciate how good Stephen's shirt is... This is the look Stephen, this is the look....

[@chezmoi42]

"They've got - I call it 'cabin fever', you may not have heard that term before, it just came to me."

[@RansomeStoddard]

He's an, I call him an "idiot". It's a term I just came up with.

[@nonyabizness.original]

he's saying "ya gotta excuse my cult followers, they're not too bright, a bit unstable, and don't do well being alone with themselves".

[@kmlckd]

He just read an article praising himself and then denied this was about him. Wtf? Thank God it's 420. I can't handle this sober

[@readynowforever3676]

kmlckd And yet we have fellow Americans who are perfectly fine with his demented state of thinking. Including the author of that news article. Unbelievable.

[@FinneousPJ1]

It's 4/21 tho

[@IMSiegfried]

@@FinneousPJ1 depends on where you live in the country because there's thing called time zones. Check it out. ;)

[@drockjr]

@@FinneousPJ1 even a better reason to smoke; we survived another day 😐🤷‍♂️

[@kellyparkinson8594]

😂 so true

[@Andybiotics]

I am here to praise the frontline workers doing a dangerous job, that is why I am showing a newspaper clipping praising me.

[@gname8252]

"Once it was reluctantly aroused. it was hard to get it aroused and it is hard to get it aroused, but we got it aroused" Donald Trump ; April 20, 2020

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

That quote will adorn the halls of his Presidential Library. And the bookshelf with one book.

[@crybaby992]

Ew.

[@VendettaProduction01]

I hope this is one of the quotes that goes in the history books, along with bombing a hurricane.

[@nicholasfarraro6219]

Stormy is thinking the Q Tip reminds me of Trump and that's generous

[@GeriAttric]

I actually have to fast forward when Orangeman speaks, simply cannot watch it.

[@Woosaidthat]

hns: 😆 I just did before reading this

[@trismccall472]

Agreed. It's an automatic reaction for me too.

[@trez735]

Really dumb...no logical idea so criticize his skin color

[@chattycathy8089]

I honestly hate him....

[@time_371]

One two When orangeman *SPEAKS* not when orangeman *LOOKS ORANGE* I don’t think you still get it. Just laying it out: they can’t stand his spoken bullshit.

[@TheNefastor]

That woman who wants a haircut ? Shave her head off. Problem solved.

[@ianpatrick3589]

It's not what's growing out her head that's a problem.

[@alecnolastname4362]

@Kris Moodley thats what he meant. Shave her HEAD off. Shave her HAIR off.

[@TheNefastor]

@@alecnolastname4362 you can interpret any way you want, really. My point is : if she can't learn the lesson, at least she can serve as an example of what happens you *mess with my fucking health* :-D

[@timski9063]

Donald J Trump. Says Trump: " The J stands for genius."

[@jeffreymartin3361]

Timski that fuckin killed me 😂😂😂💀💀💀. Super funny comment. Thank you for a laugh, like for real

[@Bovice4]

Timski literally laughing uncontrollably at this, well done 🤣🤣🤣

[@ekdaufin1485]

🤣

[@robfragale]

timiski stands for SHEEP sucking of Stephen Colbert.

[@FatNebraskaMom]

Literally choked on my watee when dump said "aroused" and stephens reaction lmmfaoooooo

[@darkangel4185]

🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

[@Ezero8]

Why on earth would someone write "Trump" and "aroused" in the same article??

[@cherylalt101]

jon jon You can choke without choking to death can't you? So why not literally lol?

[@cherylalt101]

J.Chan and why write aroused so many times? and how could trump read this without realizing how ridiculous saying aroused repeatedly would sound? the same way he can acted impressed by a long cotton swab and purposely put a QTip in his pocket for comparison and then act like he doesn't know what's inside the paper wrapping lol.

[@Starman_Dx]

"We must protest these government injustices..." Yes, like how a certain administration within the government who's job is to handle a crisis like this that refused to take action for months and still refused to actually do it's job. And we'll protest that in November by voting.

[@pauld.b7129]

Lol he took action as soon as it was prudent to take action. And it's still an OVER reaction at that. At the time the country was locked down, there were only a couple thousand deaths world wide. Hardly a 'pandemic'. And China also said it would be contained. Gain a little context and quit believing so easily the people who have been trying to take Trump down since day 1.

[@aaronsondag8347]

@Brianna Jones actually China more the likely has the most cases and is still lying about their number for 1 and for 2 we are testing more and more efficiently at that and 3 you need to realize that the US as a whole compared to all of the EU. Us population 330 million, population of the EU 446 million.

[@elonmust7470]

he acted long before Obama did when a "pandemic" broke out.......

[@aidanlevy2841]

@@aaronsondag8347 Canada Is the best comparison for the US because it is the most similar in terms of culture and initial contact with the virus (Europe is about 14 days ahead of both and much more reliant on public transit). The US has almost triple the death rate per million (131/46) and still has significantly fewer tests per million (12,315/14,995). While improving your testing is a good thing, it still is not even matching your closest and most similar neighbor. sauce: www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/

[@lizardog]

@@elonmust7470 do your own homework, Beav.

[@laalaa99stl]

It's called CabinFever-20 people. It's not like they didn't have 19 other cabin fevers to help prepare.

[@wordzmyth]

Underrated.

[@GoGreen1977]

LOL!!

[@jameswayne2422]

Nice one.

[@latashakonopka1449]

Don't know what I'd do without all you late nighters comically keeping the record straight.Thank you and Love you!!

[@christinesilvio3275]

Mango Mussolini just needs to yell "Second Amendment" to get his cultists' rabid juices flowing.

[@jacoborlowski6501]

Is mango Mussolini copyright protected? Asking for a friend. That is the best term for orange prince charmin I have heard in a while.

[@donnydrumpf457]

Well, to be fair, everyone know you need plenty of heavy firepower for any peaceful protest. It’s not a peaceful protest unless you have the fire power of a small countries military.

[@hodaka1000]

Isn't the naked orange emperor the actual reason for having the second amendment

[@elibuledi5152]

Mangos don't deserve this slender !

[@nebulousJames12345]

I hope no one ever breaks in to rob you or do worse to you and you and your kids, while have no way to protect yourself. You’ll be humming a different tune then. A lot of people are so short sighted when the cdc has said 300,000 to 3 million lives a year are saved in the usa by fire arms. When around 4,722 lives are lost to guns (non suicides, non gang related, non justified law enforcement, non accidental discharge) 37k total gun deaths.

[@patriciofarez3847]

Stormy Daniels said His "junk " is definitely broken......🤣🤣🤣

[@herglawrmr33]

Lol

[@lizardog]

@Barry Midikiner remember when America had a president? I do.

[@Gingerhannah23]

What sucks is when your name is actually Liberty and everyone is using it for the wrong reasons during a national pandemic... 😷

[@DQ_Mine]

♡ It's a beautiful name.

[@hollycarter725]

Still better than being named Karen or Susan 😘

[@carolynworthington8996]

Liberty Hannah Oh, so sorry....! Could be worse I guess. 😄 It really is a nice name.

[@smiller2044]

🔔Liberty Hannah is your middle name Belle? 🔔

[@sandramesser1246]

Thank you, one and all! And thank you, you wonderful Stephen Colbert.

[@NirvanaFan5000]

it amazes me how trump still manages to become ever more loathsome.

[@chilljustchill123]

"The swab is sophisticated." Trump- 2020 I laugh to keep from crying.

[@lyrachle]

Um, Sir (I know you like being addressed as Sir) the reason that that special testing swab is packaged is that it has been processed to be sterile to obtain accurate test samples...this is unlike a Q tip, which, unless you get special ones, is not individually packaged. That's for the no of dis information in your" Corona virus Briefing"

[@spammyhell6566]

+Whitney ~ I'm pretty sure he's being a sarcastic asshole. Or he's forgotten that just a few days ago he was telling the governors to "just order some cotton, it's so easy to get, and not at all complicated." He's such a petty, vindictive idiot, it's hard to tell whether he's being a jerk, or he's trying to make himself sound important.

[@tuckergary1516]

trump understands toilet paper. he carrise extra on his shoe

[@maryannemiuccio3679]

Or screaming.

[@mr_rn6549]

He couldn't say the word re-agent which is what is missing more than the swab .

[@MarmadukeTheCat19XX]

Every time he heaved at the word "aroused" I think I peed myself a little when I laughed

[@cherylalt101]

Jennifer EST19XX you and me both!

[@maryanneslater9675]

I was expecting him to use his whole drink as mouthwash.

[@markb4101]

That swab is the “highly sophisticated testing equipment” he’s always talking about?

[@adad7421]

Trump really messing up the USA... Forget ISIS... Forget Russia

[@ohnonotagain8935]

That they jam inside your nose and scrape your brain with

[@markb4101]

Lisa Elissa- it’s funny you would think Americans would have learned after Bush to elect someone that can at least speak properly.

[@cmconley33]

Yeah-its a sterile Q-tip. Incredibly sophisticated in comparison to a ventilator or DaVinci surgical robot. Not.

[@cmconley33]

@ ohno notagain: it does feel like it tickles your brain, doesn’t it? I’ve had the flu swab-essentially the same thing-and it is uncomfortable.

[@G.Aaron.Fisher]

"Maybe she did, but it's not this one." - good to see that humor runs in the family.

[@kellyfehr5240]

So the price of oil has gone around $70 a barrel to -$40. That's right... they will pay you to take a barrel off their hands. Makes you wonder who really wants this to end.

[@bigearl3867]

That's the same thing I was thinking. Why would a group linked to Betsy DuVos be supporting these protesters like this? trump? Big oil? Both? And why all the folks with rifles? This isn't a second amendment issue.

[@giabarrone7422]

Why can't they just temporarily stop drilling for oil if it is costing them money?

[@DQ_Mine]

@@bigearl3867 Just like trump. They're bullies. They want to intimidate and scare people. Worms with guns.

[@ValerieJNorse]

@@giabarrone7422 -- See, there you go with the logic. Honestly, girl.

[@ScoffMathews]

I could imagine stopping might be more expensive than giving it away. I know that's the case in some processes, imagine turning on a machine/system might cost you 30k plus 20 hours of warming up. If you keep it running 20 hours and waste the product you only spend 20k. You save 10k by wasting for 20 hours. Similarly, I'm not getting laid off right now because even though I cannot work, it would cost my employer 3 months of pay to fire me. They expect we'll be back to normal in less than 3 months so they choose to bleed the money, save face and avoid the hassle of rehire and training. There may be contracts that also play a role in the suply chain that are more expensive to break than lose the money. I could be way off... it's late.

[@BlakieTT]

Gotta watch out for those *acute cases of "HEY Y'ALL, WATCH THIS!".* LMFAO.

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

"Does anyone want to see what's in my lunchbox? Anyone? Do you want me to open it? It's a pickle. It looks innocent, but it's 'VERY SOPHISTICATED' ".

[@ianmuir3640]

They have cabin Fever? what a about the thousands of Americans held in incarsaration without being convicted of anything

[@travelingangel7517]

fiction

[@mariag.8242]

Every nonviolent prisoner, and people nearing the end of their sentences, should be released. Prisons are ridiculously overcrowded and unhealthy, already violate basic human rights and now are deadly. Get them out!

[@adad7421]

@mister boolord and health

[@AnarchYAshAubrey]

Happy to say that my FIRST EVER vote will be a proud BLUE one.

[@DQ_Mine]

Thank you. If you can get a mail in ballot That's the easiest way. I'm sure you are encouraging your friends and family. Sometimes people want to vote but don't know how to go about it. Maybe you can help your friends. Mail in ballots are great because you get them early and spend some time. It takes so much stress out of it. It really does feel good though at least once to go stand in line, see your neighbors. Walk into that booth and vote. Though now's not the time for that!

[@darthknightwingphoenix2081]

AnarchY Ash Aubrey thanks for being a sane person. We need more. Actually, we have plenty of sane people - we just need them to vote.

[@IMSiegfried]

@@darthknightwingphoenix2081 Amen.

[@katemiller3796]

Same here 😊

[@jimreily7538]

Good for you ! A second Trump term would be incredibly destructive.

[@debbiedalley9721]

He is only concerned about himself, and how it impacts him. He has no sense of humanity.

[@annlil4605]

Debbie Dalley exactly! Couldn’t have said it better

[@polycarpflavius4523]

Run for President and We the People WILL decide your fate like we did With Senator Warren.

[@damienneimad6044]

The idea that the shutdown isnt acutllay taking peoples lives is you being concerned with only yourself... you have no sense of humanity.

[@damienneimad6044]

@Esben M let me ask you one simple common sense question. What do you think happens when millions of people are forced not to work for possibly half a year?

[@eiyukabe]

@Jane Pearson A sense of humor that would make fourth graders giggle, but no one more mature than that.

[@songbird2759]

Beloved is one of the saddest books I'd ever read!

[@NophiMitchell]

M Jensen a lot of people laughed without commenting I’m sure. It may be dad joke funny but I definitely lol’ed!

[@jocosus3]

9:11 Cadet Bone Spurs knows battlefields like he knows good hairstyles for himself.

[@MilitantAngel]

"I inherited broken junk." BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@themousethatroared3371]

He must be referring to his brain.

[@giabarrone7422]

That makes me feel better about his attraction to Ivanka....

[@gluteusmaximus1657]

Oh yes, just a few hundred second hand millions.

[@DillyWillow]

I just want to know 2 things, how much did the Trump businesses get from this so called loan program and what do guns have to do with a pandemic, I know it wasn’t mentioned here but did you see those protestors with guns, do they think that they can shoot the virus 🤪🤣

[@anitam241]

Maybe because they think gun store are essential businesses and their 2nd amendment is being taken away....and just sheer stupidity.

[@IMSiegfried]

@Major Thought Ahead Noooo! ::sigh:: And trump fired the original person meant to oversee the fund. :-/

[@smiller2044]

Sharon Berger some think brandishing a weapon makes them strong. In the land of liberty, generally, white men are permitted to carry guns whereas other's rights are infringed on, so guess those folks feel superior.

[@chezmoi42]

No kidding, the guns, the vests, the whole kit on some of them. Here's what Beau had to say about them this morning. kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJuoY2d9gJicoLc

[@deedeewells1152]

Oh my God the first four pages of Beloved is NOT CHILL (Also one of the greatest american novels ever written, read it Stephen)

[@700Ezalb]

"Just because you have cabin fever, [that] doesn't give you the right to go out and spread FEVER fever!" Brilliant

[@mykalsarakula3652]

yes mon rite on

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

The only treatment for Cabin Fever is hydoxychloroquine.

[@mykalsarakula3652]

@@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 hahaha..next virus airborne ebola strain run

[@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475]

@@mykalsarakula3652 We have 29 million hydoxychloroquine pills in the stockpile now. And since it has been shown to INCREASE the death rate of people with Covid.... we have it for ???

[@RHINO41153]

I think you need to get out the Constitution, You'll find that "Right" right there in the Bill of Rights, 1st Amendment...people are upset because we are being treated like children...each person should be able to make their own decisions...I'm sure they are perfectly capable of doing the Right thing.

[@Dro8Mario]

The test swab: Obama The Q tip: trump Nuff said!!