The Mysterious Journey of the Lost Wallet - Tom Segura: Completely Normal

[@enlightenedidiot9552]

I lost my wallet in the Gulf of Mexico waters in Galveston Texas when I was a teenager. An elderly couple found the wallet washed up on the sand and saw an AstroWorld employee ID card. They came to Houston, paid admission to AstroWorld. That's not cheap. They found me at work and returned my wallet with the money still in it, not much obviously. That was the coolest thing ever. I was working at a giant pretzel stand, so of course they got free pretzels and Cokes :-)

[@evamonroy8110]

Freaking amazing! 😆😜😋🤩 Am I the only one when sees the beauty in this? I love that you shared this story! Thank you ❤️

[@lostquartermaster52]

Old people are a trip, loving this story.

[@antoniob3941]

That's crazy af. Honesty drives some people to far lengths. Good positive vibes. Thank you

[@WisdomThumbs]

They loved that story as much as you, and I bet they enjoyed the trip.

[@enlightenedidiot9552]

@@WisdomThumbs thank you, I hope so...

[@coolbreezy2053]

Tom Segura is rapidly heading up my chart of favorite comedians

[@Hellspawn96]

Oh god, same here.

[@eastern2687]

I tell people sh@t bout Steven Seagal to this day. Not mentioning that I also tell everyone that Tommy Lee Johns is gae.

[@eastern2687]

@@vladimirputin40 Sean Patton

[@chriscote8441]

He’s in my top 5 of all time

[@dezignateddriva]

its the algorithm

[@troyfiss9332]

I fucking love how every impression he does is exactly the same.

[@him1703]

Watch the Pac-Man jones

[@twerkingtwinkies2335]

@@him1703 that one is great😆

[@paulofrota3958]

For a moment there I thought he had found Steven Seagal's wallet xD

[@danschuster5187]

Do u enjoy his podcast with his wife

[@troymedley5042]

Same!

[@jamiehess4211]

I taught college for 12 years. Met many, many Justins during that time.

[@michaelmurray258]

I teach 5th grade, and I have met many, many pre-Justins over the years.

[@geebeaux]

Oh, man.. there is a whole generation of Justins working in my town. Their nametag says otherwise, but they are sooo Justin.

[@musicofcorey]

Yeah its a pretty common name

[@jhanners32]

Aw man... way to make us look like ass holes Justin

[@HeyhitmeBAM]

I wonder if Justin sees this one day scrolling KZbin, and jus shrugs and swipes to next video

[@Redvines69]

When I was in the Navy, I was on a ship heading back to San Diego and we were off the coast of India. I washed out a Pace Picante Sauce bottle and put my San Diego address inside it, and threw it off the side. 3 months later, I get a letter from a guy in India who was fishing and found it on the beach. He had a Polish friend of his translate for him, and the letter was a bit funny in that he described his kids as "one son and 4 who are not sons". He explained he made an amount per day that translated into about 25 cents a day fishing, so we sent him 20 bucks :D

[@brianheaton5521]

Nice.

[@saltyark7564]

That’s awesome, I’m sure he was super stoked 😎

[@billyin4c514]

Dude you sent this guy almost three months worth of pay, you're like a philanthropist or something.

[@jjhaya]

good for both of you.

[@McTaco]

That’s the old school way of scamming. Heh

[@GodTierAsta]

I found a wallet one time when I was 18 while working at a grocery store. It contained 3000 dollars in it. I ended up turning it in and it belonged to the head of board of ND college football or something like that. Even though I was compelled to keep the cash. I turned it in anyways. And I’m so glad I did. The money was intended for a family for a kid who attended ND who passed away. The man came in to get it and was in tears I found his wallet. He was so great full and even hugged me and kissed my cheek in gratitude. This moment changed me and I was inspired that moment to always try and do the right thing no matter what because you really never know what people are going through. And I’m not 36 and I still live by this and that moment is still burned into my brain.

[@adriancatalinmarin8320]

@@fireflocs The money of a dead kid.... Sleep with that thought every day of your life that you paid your ps5 from some stolen money which belonged to a dead kid.

[@billyin4c514]

Wow, that's a really inspiring story, and your attitude is awesome.

[@jjhaya]

your username doesn't match your attitude, you're pretty nice.

[@politicallyinsensitive4200]

@@adriancatalinmarin8320 it's a lot easier to sleep when you've got heat or AC...or a roof. I'm pretty sure the head of a college board has another 3k they can spare. Meanwhile in the real world; I got bills to pay.

[@TheCowboyfromhell87]

If you're not 36 are you 35? Or possibly 37?

[@MrsShocoTaco]

My sis lost her wallet in a Target parking lot. Someone found it & tried to max out all her cards (fortunately the company caught it) & drained her bank account for 3k. Ffwd 2 years, she finds a wallet with loads of cards in it. She looks to see who it belongs to so she can return it. All the cards had different names, including one of her old cards. She turned the wallet into the police & an arrest was made about a month later.. Fkng weird.

[@CanItAlready]

I somehow lost a camera in its little pouch at Target once, with my debit card in a pocket on the pouch. When I realized they were missing I went to customer service and was told they hadn't seen it. I looked all over the store and back out in the parking lot before going back inside to ask again. After being given the runaround by several younger associates, an older gentleman who asked me to describe it. Then he went back to an employees-only area and came back a minute later with my camera and debit card. I figure there are two possibilities: 1) it took that long for someone to find it and turn it in or 2) they had it the whole time and one of them was hoping I'd go away so they could keep the camera and do who knows what with my debit card.

[@AlexaLikes]

Wow that's karma

[@MrsShocoTaco]

@@CanItAlready or, they never checked in the first pace

[@CanItAlready]

@@MrsShocoTaco That's possible

[@ishmaelnarag9605]

@@CanItAlready I guess it would be number 2. The old guy is most probably the top security officer and has years of experience in dealing with these types of employees. He may have already shortlisted the suspects to question and search or may have observed from surveillance cameras any unusual behavior of an employee [like those who were immediately going to the employees-only area to hide the camera]. After you got it back, did he ask you to sign a waiver as well, not to sue the store for the wasted time and inconvenience it may have caused you? Because if you still did not get it back and you requested for a copy of the surveillance camera footages where you can clearly see that one of their employees who took it, I think you may also sue the company.

[@TheBehm08]

I love how he says it’s psychopathic to have Justin’s wallet in his pocket but he does in fact have the wallet in his bag while traveling a YEAR later

[@brokefrogproductions]

Tom should've made Justin hold his pocket.

[@eastern2687]

I'd call Steven Seagal and tell him thar Justin stole Skippy from the military so he hunts him down and arrests him. If Steven would ask me how I know that was particularly Skippy, I would take a look at the sky and...

[@googzmo]

HOL' MA POCKET

[@eastern2687]

@@googzmo I can't help myself not reading it in Tom's voice ahahahah

[@really-shouldnt-be-here]

BIKES

[@zombiecucumber7700]

Bikes!

[@serenitynow6513]

Hahaha 🤣 Ya I got my wallet and Justin’s wallet, now I’m ready to go out. That has me crying every time. So good!!!!

[@bodgaard]

Don’t forget the, “no you fucking psycho”, parts…..l 😆

[@KJKP]

And Yet he did have it in his baggage that he took to DC.

[@KOZGERFWAD]

His dream is still unrealized, because he didn’t find the wallet...he was GIVEN the wallet...

[@claudiasolomon1123]

Oh c'mon!!

[@KOZGERFWAD]

@@claudiasolomon1123 lighten up, Claudia. I was only kidding😂👍🏻

[@djimma5080]

I watched this TV show about coincidences and apparently in Italy a dude went for his first scuba diving lesson and he did so well his instructor took him deeper to where a more advanced student would dive to ...where he went he found his house mates wallet that a segul had stole from his house mate and flown off with....Like what are the chances either

[@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd]

Was it a Steven Seagull?

[@alexanderkirilov7820]

@@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd of course it was Steven Seagal, that dude has been scuba diving for 43 years

[@ZarkowsWorld]

@@alexanderkirilov7820 No, Steven Seagull stole the wallet.

[@jf2781]

Segul had stole....

[@TheCreedBratton]

​@@jf2781what mixture?

[@vajs6312]

I've only seen a few of his clips, but out of all the comedians, I believe that Tom Segura encounters the strangest people.

[@paulwilliamson6660]

I knew his dad was right. But, just maybe, having a dad who thinks that is a self fulfilling prophecy.

[@andrewmcnelly2508]

Exactly. I am a teacher and have seen 1,000's of families and it's never like in the movies where a kid goes on to make it without supportive parents. Whenever I meet the parents of exceptional students it always makes sense and that's why I have problems punishing students because there is usually a reason they are the way they are regardless that psychology only attributes 30% to environmental factors. Have fun. : )

[@eagillum]

Yeah. Some kids take longer to clue in on life if they have abusive/helicopter parents. Which is kind of an oxymoron but it just means you end up clueless with low self-esteem.

[@Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzajw]

As someone with a father who thinks that I can confirm it's a self fulfilling prophecy. It's hard to believe in yourself when the people who brought you into the world think you're worthless

[@GenesisLZH]

@@andrewmcnelly2508 Is the 30% actually a real statistic? In my Psychology classes they've always said that people have no way of knowing how much nature influences you vs nurture, just that we know that both have influences. Also are you saying that environment makes up 30% of you or that genetics make up 30% of you?

[@KJKP]

Exactly. All those negative words spoken over his son by the only one who has fatherly authority over the boys life… Those are all curses.

[@JustBreatheOkay]

If this a true story it’s pretty incredible.

[@JayRossProductions]

99% of comedian stories are true 😩✍️

[@JayRossProductions]

@Hard Case Catalyst wow really ???????????????

[@thelastword4616]

@@JayRossProductions Nah, comedians just tell real life. It is the tone and body language that make them funny. Pay attention, if a comedian is telling a joke that you don't think is true, you won't find it funny.

[@JayRossProductions]

@@thelastword4616 bro go home it was a joke

[@aviationetwork]

Justin would disagree

[@thesnakeman8006]

4:24-4:27. Don't know why but this part STILL makes me laugh every time, LoL 😆😆😆😆🤣😂🤣

[@jonahwalt]

That’s the best opening joke to a story I’ve ever heard

[@keithjoiner6038]

That was like Gordy from stand by me telling me the pie eating contest story. That was actually an epic story. And Tom knows how to tell a f#!king story. Thanks pal

[@sharyng261]

He tells a story perfectly! 😂

[@MyUsernameIsAlsoBort]

2:32 - for some reason, that "ahh" sound he makes just tickled me so bad, the first time I heard this set, I was literally crying from laughter. Just kept rewatching it and laughing it at all day.

[@rafihmahfooz5074]

I get a strong impulse to watch his videos ever chance I get . I love his sense of humor. He is a legend, one of the best out there.

[@valkyrie9646]

Lol, he has such a great delivery!

[@todgerino3475]

I feel like the apple didn't fall very far from the tree

[@therealunicornselene]

"I got family in Denver, do you like furniture?" _puzzled look_

[@Survivor-hq5sl]

Lost my wallet on a four-wheeler ride on some back roads and a year later a lady went camping and her kids found it and mailed it back to me with the $20 still in it I couldn't get my stimulus check until I had an ID and all the DMVs were closed due to covid so this was perfect and each kid got 50 dollar rewards in a letter after I got my check really good family especially for the area I was in

[@cefarther3945]

What a funny funny man, he tells a story like no other.

[@Impuhlz]

Literally the perfect story, delivery and all. We don't deserve Tom any more than that pos Justin deserved that wallet.

[@daRubioGod]

I wish Tom called Justin’s dad back and told him what happened 🤣☠️

[@ZitiPatrol]

Tom Segura oddly wholesome but definitely not quite LOL

[@mrodgt]

"BIKES!!!"

[@oneanddone7992]

But he only gets one.

[@younowhythatis6381]

I'm in love with this guy.hes f*ckin brilliant!!!!!!!!

[@niliya13]

I lost my wallet 2500 km away from home and the guy who found it arrived at my doorstep back home to return it 1 week later. It turned out that he lived on the next street from where I lived.

[@billyin4c514]

That's an unreal coincidence

[@margochristensen6359]

Been following tom Segura since the first time I saw him. I found a wallet at the mall with $900 in it, and an EBT card and a license. He came the next day to the mall and picked it up. He was so relieved. Told me that was his rent money and he would have been evicted. Nuff said.

[@christopherw2233]

And now he's a millionaire :) I always tell people it cost nothing to be a nice person.

[@tmart43]

Someone should find Justin and put him in the audience for this bit

[@westand10]

I was on an international flight and found a dude's wallet with tons of cash, his ID and government ID. When I found him on the plane and gave him it, he had the least amount of emotions and gratitude. That guy was a piece of shit. I wasn't expecting a parade, but a damn thanks instead of a monotone, "oh" would have been better.

[@VanishedPNW]

I feel that one. So many times I've had that happen or something similar, and the person doesn't have a response commensurate to the deed. People are scared, always think someone is trying to harm them or something.

[@Ten_Thousand_Locusts]

@@VanishedPNW where did you pick up that word: "commensurate"?

[@kingmee4930]

Yup. Some people suck.

[@Mike__B]

Grocery store : We're a grocery store, we don't track people down Me : Well can you forward me to whomever deals with the rewards card because they most definitely track people and all their shopping habits.

[@thelastword4616]

Right? Remember that store that KNEW someone in the house pregnant because of the buying habits? The store started sending coupons for diapers. The dad called the store raising hell, then later found out his teenage daughter was pregnant.

[@one.2622]

That's just not true lol

[@satanspit4101]

That dad is a legend. In my book. Lol.

[@tonyde6423]

Could see that ending coming stay safe cheers

[@Weird_Rick]

Dad's are always right when they describe their kids. 😂😂 🙌

[@MeltingTheta]

This guy's hilarious 🤣😆

[@Yoshwayy]

Bet Tom doesn’t want to rescue Will Smith’s wallet anymore 😅

[@abelstrd]

Justin is the kind of person that should be monitored closely, he's probably planning something 🤔

[@Firefox-hw3co]

I LOVE TOM SO MUCH!!!!

[@ThRl_J_Mmma]

I think hes forgetting a response to a phone call "ahoy"

[@anthonyamaya9644]

inly guy who has 6 minute videos and it feels like 2. i love his stories

[@paigelong5908]

Tom's voice of the guy's dad is the same voice of the good old Steven Seagal

[@julieparrish1364]

I was telling my neighbor about Tom,Turns out he has seen him 3 times,lucky guy,this fellow is hilarious.

[@lucianomagnone7568]

pretty hilarious indeed!!

[@marcussmith4913]

This guy is awesome.

[@MichaelJames707]

Freaking love Tom.

[@monyetguru]

2:56 cracks me up everytime

[@matanuskabutler7566]

In one hour, I shall see Tom live in Anchorage, Alaska. I am ready...

[@JeanneOxley]

Found an organizer/wallet in a Target parking lot.. in a shopping cart. (Millennials, this is like leaving your phone somewhere without a password) This was about 3 days before Christmas. I put the story together in my head and imagined this woman was a struggling single mom, putting kids and presents in the car and forgot it, since she worked 3 jobs. It had her ID, pictures, calendar and address book. I should have been able to write her life story with the amount of information, but I remember having to call quite a few numbers to reach her. This organizer also had just under $500, and all I could imagine was some modern Dicken's tale with Timmy not getting his toys, crying under an empty tree. Turned out, she was the wife of the Head of Loss Prevention. (for those not aware of retail hell, that's security). She was very happy, but all I remember is that he was stunned and amazed that I returned it with all the cash and history. He said that never happened in all the years he worked at that store. Morale of the story is, people are assholes.. so I started going to another Target in a better neighborhood.

[@therealwilfreddierkes9980]

Retail hell, especially during Xmas. You are 100% right. Lol

[@brycewalburn3926]

As far as comedy stories go, this is up there with The Machine for me.

[@Dime_time333]

The machine is cringe.

[@JoeMaxFpv]

Dudes an amazing story teller

[@joshs3916]

Best Japanese comic IYKYK

[@IstasPumaNevada]

Amazing how much Justin's dad sounds like Steven Seagal.

[@volkstarke]

My father found a player for the mavericks wallet. We got court side seats and signed basketballs. Best find ever

[@marcelogilliardmaiaantunes3703]

I like to think all elderly people Tom finds have the same voice of his father because it’s the only one he does🤣

[@neverlimb5931]

Great story teller.

[@santiagochacon7491]

This DOm secure is really good im drunk wat work cherrs

[@mw4262]

Cheers bud

[@freshcatman5760]

Did you have a stroke?

[@dominiclowrey6567]

I to also like cherries

[@-----hk6jj]

real talk

[@-----hk6jj]

Also, I hope you don't work with machinery

[@SometimesMyself]

The moment Justin asked if he wanted to hear about the special I thought, the dad was right.

[@anniemack6855]

Actually, although I was laughing...and I think Tom S. is Hilarious!!!!! the response of just automatically jumping right into the specials-. Made me sad...and totally related to his dad describing him as a big nothing. Growing up in a drab, depressive, literal, non-responsive, unappreciated, joyless environment-- where one's existence is merely tolerated....well, let's just say-- can breed dull people incapable of feeling and processing spontaneously--. the unique wonder of miracles/astonishment. Most likely been bred or beaten out of him! 😣😌😕😐

[@nathanielking8310]

Someone just returned my 17 year old daughters wallet, she lost/misplaced at college... She had her license, school id, bank card where she had saved a little over 10k at the time, and about 80 bucks pocket change. And everything was still there, she tried giving the young lady the 80 bucks for gas at the least, and taking time from her day to deliver her wallet to our home, but she wouldn't take it. The young lady was a student at the university as well, with a golden heart, so shouts out to Rachel! My daughter was unaware that she had actually lost her wallet, so this came as a surprise, and proof that good people still exist.

[@Xecutioner62]

I LOVE that he used a part of another skit of trying to FORCE a connection with Will Smith by talking about family and furniture THAT IS F*CKING HILARIOUS😂this guy is a genius!!!!

[@taari1]

I listened to them right after another and for a moment I asked myself if this was the same skit

[@twilightgardenspresentatio6384]

That is exactly how I answer numbers I don’t recognize

[@MisfitsFiendClub138]

I found a guy's wallet on a subway. Contained $83 cash, driver license and three credit cards. Took me about 2 hours to track the guy down. Returned it to him and he didn't even say thank you. Unreal

[@iamaquastonethrone77]

This is pretty good

[@ophelia329]

Omg! I'd NEVER REMEMBER his face. Wow. I agree this guy will never be anything as well 🤣🤣🤣

[@friendlyman9032]

This is great

[@ferrari251]

My husband left his wallet in his computer bag with his laptop and iPad in a cab in Penang, Malaysia in September 2014. We were upset about it for THREE DAYS. On our last day there- we are at the airport ready to fly back to Kuala Lumpur… his phone rings. He answers. The guy on the other end asks “Clayton?” My husband says “yes?” The man on the other end screams, “I found you!!!” This amazing cab driver rushed to the airport and returned the bag with wallet, laptop, iPad… everything. It was a God damn miracle and we all hugged before running to security to make our flight. Miracle.

[@ferrari251]

FYI he said he stopped at several hotels in the area to ask about him and finally found Clayton by googling his name and finding an old business website that had his business info and phone number…

[@VRtheFuture]

A joke about Will Smith's wallet?!? Bro this joke still slaps in 2022

[@gummibear696]

I found a woman's wallet in a Wal-mart shopping cart and at first I didn't know what to do, but I thought the smartest thing would be going into the store and dropping it off at customer service saying somebody forgot it. Still feels weird because you're a random person, giving another random person somebody else's belongings. But my mom's got our City's community page on Facebook, and literally the woman got on Facebook and on this community page to wonderfully thank the person that saved her day...and that was me :) To this day it's one of the greatest feelings knowing that I helped that woman avoid a great deal of stress. There was close to $200 cash in that wallet...

[@kristenkell5153]

As someone who has lost my phone and wallet at Walmart, thank God for you

[@gregorymuhammad7308]

Great story. I think I'm gonna steal it

[@aaroncarter5322]

Dude he should make this into a children's book it's a complete story w a life lesson

[@taqi506]

I lost my wallet 5 years ago and i m still waiting

[@sonnychiba5651]

At the end, when he said he saw Justin was getting on the elevator and then called out "hey Justin!", I thought the next thing he was gonna yell was BIKES!

[@bobagorof]

Doesn't sound like the father amounted to much either. So he can be proud Justin followed in his footsteps.

[@gary609906]

Could you imagine how cool Justin's life would be right now if he pitched opening a surf shop in Maui? Tom is blowing the fuck up!

[@connorgodbout7862]

Lost my wallet twice thx good there are good people out there 👏👏👏

[@michaelvanhorn3271]

Okay, it must have been my wallet that is how I answer the phone as it ONLY rings if I am dead asleep.

[@uyhgar369]

I found a wallet once in a French bakery that the person 3 spots in front of me had left on the counter & the other 2 people didn't notice. I had seen her leave it there so I had my eye on the wallet. I ordered then I walked over to the ladies table she was like 95. I said is this your wallet? She was frightened & confused she just made some squeeking noises. The wallet was extremely fat & full of $. The restaurant was supper crowded with all old people. Literally 6 old women sitting in that area saw how much cash was in it & they all started fighting saying it was there's. They tried to wrestle each other & me for the wallet. It made a huge commotion & the lady who actually owned the wallet had no clue what was going on even though I explained it like 10 times she ran away from her table with her husband & they got in thier car & drove away. I threw it in the back seat threw an open window as they drove off. All of those other old ladies who where trying to steal it got so mad at me. Life lesson don't trust old ladies they will try to jack you!

[@TreeFiddyProductions-tk3ko]

Because of this, I answer every scam call by saying "uhhhh" first.

[@bronwynsmith4653]

I can’t I’m married so make it quick lmfao! Crying 🤣

[@lekkerpruven887]

After a vacation we decided to go to the movies. With all my papers and a decent amount of money, drivers license, bank cards everything. The next day I get a call. The cleaner found it and reported it to his supervisor. I wanted to give him some money, because replacing the ID and the drivers licence is expensive, but he absolutely didn't want it. He knew how grateful I was because the same happened to him. So if you ever find a wallet, bring it back. I know I was really really happy I got it back.

[@dppin97]

That will smith bit 😂

[@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd]

I’m a scuba diver. I have yet to find something in deep waters and have an insane story like this.

[@nerf3502]

Wonder if Tom would still return Will’s wallet after the slap?

[@radeticmedia]

I lost my wallet while exiting the car. Next morning, 6:30, pouring rain. Someone rings my doorbell, guy walking a dog found it with all the money and documents, soaking wet. He refused to take any money as a reward.

[@samlaskowski9537]

I left my wallet in El segundo.

[@daypeanut4406]

Lol might've been Tom Hardy picking up that phone tbh haha

[@meattooth1303]

when i was 18 or 19, i lost my wallet at the beach with 200 dollars which is like 500 now. bummed me out. a couple weeks later there was a package for me at home with my wallet and 200 minus the cost of postage. they mailed it back using my drivers license address.

[@cgm4379]

Tom Segura is a cruise ship tier comedian

[@jessicatale9909]

Imagine Justin is in that audience...

[@klaasvanstrien989]

A f*cking great story ones again, by Tom Segura! :)

[@LordofChaos595]

I met and worked with people who would have taken it and kept any cash and thrown away the wallet. When I asked them if they would want someone to return their wallet and cash if they lost it their response was, Well yeah but I wouldnt expect it back. Same with a phone, they said it would be cool to have a free second phone and the person shouldnt have lost it. I'm like oh dear OK well theres no hope then!

[@billyin4c514]

I think either position is as valid. This is like it throws us curve balls. If you want to return somebody's stuff to them perhaps it's easier for them, but at the end of the day there are bad things are going to happen to you and your life, sometimes there because you have made irresponsible decisions just like in the case of this guy Justin.

[@medsuit1686]

i lost my wallet once and i never seen it again.

[@lsmith62]

I once lost my wallet at a KFC. A couple years later I found a wad of money. I kept that shit.

[@mbnsw]

I found a phone about 20 years ago, did some sleuthing, contacted the rich 15 year old kid that owned it and told him to come pick it up and his reaction was EXACTLY the same as Justin’s, no thank you’s…but I had the last laugh as I had already texted some of the random girls names in the phone asking to “hook up” and started some real interesting stuff so there was that I guess.

[@daltondunn7856]

If Tom returned Will Smith's wallet the only thing he's getting is a slap for his troubles...

[@prazcuray1388]

That was hilarious 😂

[@brittbent802]

It’s impossible to listen to even 5 seconds of this and exit