30 Minutes of Tom Segura: Completely Normal

[@bobbynicole10]

#1 Japanese comedian

[@MicheleMcAdoo]

😂😂😂😂you saying Tom is big in Japan ??

[@AppleMonster93]

No, he's stated later content which Tom used, explaining that he often gets misinterpreted as Japanese because of his surname 👍🏼

[@stephencovert2467]

This comment is so under appreciated...

[@xXxJSCOTTxXx]

SMiiiIIITTThhh??? SMiiiIIITTThhh!!! 🇯🇵 🍣🌏🚄🌊😉

[@johnhurtme]

​@@MicheleMcAdooHis grandfather or great grandfather was Japanese

[@Wombats-1]

Tom is one of the best to ever do stand up, his style of story telling just puts you in a better mood,

[@creativechau]

This is not only Tom's best special but one of the best ever

[@bryanergau6682]

Check out Big Jay Oakerson - Webster Hall

[@curtismcdonald6838]

That dude is right about Oakerson @ Webster Hall. Funny stuff, but this special, though good, isn’t really all that great. Almost the entire special is Tom talking about TV shows he watches. You or I could do that….just stand up on stage and comment on what we saw as we flipped channels the night before. The First 48, Steven Segal, Scared Straight. You gotta admit, writing jokes about TV shows is low-hanging fruit and Tom spent a large amount of time doing just that in this special. Still, I do enjoy watching The People’s Mayor every now and again to remind myself that he really is funny.

[@bashardlaleh]

I think this is the only good show, all his other ones are not funny

[@ScottStokes-y2d]

@@bashardlalehnether is this

[@chocolatekyppcookie]

To this day I quote Cricket too much at work. 😂

[@mphillips5366]

Best part...."I mean yeah". Haha

[@peppergrand1072]

2024-Tom can actually make an offer on that Jet he was shopping for 10 years ago.

[@Diesel257]

That noise was the perfect description for the feeling of crack. 😮💨

[@JordanSherman-d8g]

Owwwwwwwww weeeee

[@crushingbelial]

​@@JordanSherman-d8gsums up Mr poopybutthole well

[@garlandmoney9310]

No shit. Perfect pitch and intensity.

[@iliaudat]

Cccc

[@pieflingerpt2]

"I can't drive unless I'm fucked up!" 😂

[@ZackeryGee]

2 people asked for a lawyer... cops were like FUCK!!!

[@AustralianOpalRocks]

That's my favorite part. Especially when they get so mad they have to make a comment, like "that says a lot". They try to act like it doesn't bother them. But it does. And it's extra good when they traveled far for that. Of course, I'm sure they're getting OT for that trip so there's that.

[@bullschitt3666]

When that guy killed Tony the Tiger it was worse than that dentist that killed the lion.

[@BeautifullyBroken1022]

So, I’m listening to this while grocery shopping and ppl are starting to stare because I bust out laughing every couple minutes 😂Lol 😂😂😂

[@stantonscoggins622]

Tom absolutely cracks me up I went down a 4 hrs rabbit hole watching his comedy

[@superroyd]

I love the old Tom specials!

[@dabiff6587]

fat tom was so much more fun

[@virolex6961]

​@dabiff6587 He's still funny, though, and happier

[@allgunsblazed9106]

@@virolex6961 exactly

[@ryanmullins2103]

“He came through with jellyfish last night”. 🕺🤣🤣

[@vectorfox4782]

Tom Segura is the Peruvian version of Hannibal Buress. Random asf

[@CasualMMAFan]

“I have everything…” cannot stop cracking up at that bit

[@DookyShoes1]

Saw him on tour this summer, funny as hell and one of the best shows I’ve seen

[@carterzealand5423]

the first 48 segment 😭😭 i’m so dead the accuracy

[@Gothmaugh]

Screw haters Tom is a beast. So many dumbasses clicked on this video just to hate. Ima stick around and laugh 🤙

[@KennyP.Gemstone]

I clicked to remember the better days when he wasn't a rich pompous fitness instructor.

[@waynemyers2469]

Hey, man, you got us all wrong, man, I didn't click on this video just to hate, I ALREADY thought he was an uninspired, crass opportunist who has profited by appealing to the lowest common denominator and acting as the "canary-in-the-coal-mine" alerting us to the impending death of comedy...that's all, man. (Incidentally, I don't hear you laughing...easier said than done, huh?)

[@kellycarroll2281]

Right if ya hate it, real simple, Don fuc@ing watch it. Problem a solved!

[@SetiSupreme]

​@@KennyP.GemstoneWhat the hell!? He's always been awesome. Don't know where this hate is coming. Him being a bit of a dick sometimes just adds to his charisma.

[@SINQUEFIELD83]

Yeah it's not weird at all that you are watching Tom Segura clips and telling fans why you hate him. Completely normal​@@waynemyers2469

[@The987654321andy]

lawyer up. best advice ever

[@Jay-xz6rw]

Ohhhhhhhhhh lawwwwwwd, I already have issues with hotel curtains because I know they are not cleaned as often. Now I have to think about them balls, hahahhaha😂😂😂😂

[@jimmynovak7913]

If you only knew what I leave for ya. 😈

[@Jay-xz6rw]

@@jimmynovak7913 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@eduardos7076]

​@@jimmynovak7913 That you Tom? 😂

[@kalevala29]

people go to hotels to engage in coprophilia.🤮

[@257796]

This Asian kid might have what it takes

[@SlinkyFromHell.4]

Lots of The First 48 was filmed in Tulsa, but the city realized how bad it was making the community look and revoked their permission to film with Tulsa Police Department

[@acedealien8136]

They gave a woman who murdered the guy she was seeing to rob him. Gave her 10 years despite witness, texts, video. Shit is a joke I want equal rights

[@michaelblaes9847]

It was a little to late. It's Tulsa. Not much else to do their.

[@Yoyoyo473]

​@@michaelblaes9847 there*

[@philmcglen6194]

I'd much rather comedians get rich, than some insta model or trash youtube streamer. Tom buying Bert that tea cup was the funniest thing I've seen someone with money do! 😂😂

[@ADetailedHouse]

Agreed!

[@MM-vn9ri]

100% 😂😂😂

[@justinhayward5027]

lol that shit was funny!

[@bradnov89]

So apparently Tom's uber driver was Keith Richards

[@MicheleMcAdoo]

😅😅

[@tywightman]

😢😢

[@tywightman]

😢😢

[@tywightman]

😢😢

[@briankeller9848]

That is what smoking rocks is like 😂

[@jenna7675]

Tom is still funny. His most recent special is my favorite.

[@nikkilamberti2215]

Same! I almost pissed my pants 1st time I watched it 🤣🙌

[@watchreport]

@@nikkilamberti2215I may have watched the latest special Sledgehammer more than this one. I love it! The whole thing with his mom and edibles had me crying.

[@matthewgarner8728]

Great skit. Love to see him do a new standup. The blind date podcast is.funny.

[@Livi_Noelle]

"She won the conversation...: 😂

[@ericachacon8337]

Idk why, but "What about Jim? He wears a blazer," is fucking gold! 🤣🤣🤣

[@ktulu92ponce14]

Jim too..😂

[@leviorourke7498]

I smoked rocks once for four years lmao. His interpretation is spot on. I’m dying. I remember a friend tryingjit, and he exhaled the first hit eyes lit up and said I found my nee favorite drug. No! No! No! Listen bro you just smoked cracked and praised that’s not a good sign

[@michaelgordon1613]

A “friend” 😂

[@CooperMarketingUnlimited]

Dude isn't wrong, though. That ish makes you feel like your brain is having an orgasm. 😂

[@asdaasdad9284]

It seems like you were on crack while you were writing this comment

[@roadlesstraveled34]

I would LOVE to be one of those hoity toity people that could talk down my nose at you in a British accent but I do get it. About fetty, not hard, but I do get it.

[@annaliese24]

Why do people do this when they know they can get so addicted and sick and end up losing everything for their next hit, living in an alley barely able to stand up, covered in sores with no hope ? Seriously, I'm seriously asking. Does everyone think "oh that can't happen to me"??

[@kevincarhart716]

Yall hating so hard in the comments. Hes always been funny. Yall just jealous he went from fat to famous. Grow up

[@jmh4ggg]

It's wild to see that people actually think this is funny.

[@chrischimera1999]

​@@jmh4gggit's wild seeing a dumbass opinion like this

[@BrandonAnsara]

He's probably getting pretty close to that jet lol

[@suvariboy]

I just heard of Tom yesterday. And I’ve been laughing my ass off ever since.

[@jak1845]

😮😊😅

[@Z3ROB3ATZonthetrack]

DEY WAS LOOKIN FO SUM SMOKE!!! I say this almost everyday

[@DanMattsson]

People in the comments are weird. Tom is the funniest guy - period.

[@waynemyers2469]

Dude, YOU'RE in the comments!

[@DanMattsson]

@@waynemyers2469 Yeah, I'm weird too

[@waynemyers2469]

@@DanMattsson (Just between you and me, I'm weird too.)

[@DailyDriftingVirtual]

"she WON the conversations"

[@markd7155]

Just stumbled on Tom ~18mos ago. Absolutely hilarious!!!

[@georgebooth2005]

First time watching Tom... I think he's Hilarious and I rarely think very many people sre... Way to go Tom! 👍👍❤️🤣 george 😎🤿🦈🦑🇺🇸 TEXAS

[@askedofgod9067]

#1 Samoan comedian

[@SailfishSoundSystem]

Tom is great!

[@jonathanpeterson1984]

Driver story is 💯 I’m sure of it😂

[@Ookmongani]

Smokin rocks..... LMAO I miss those days

[@PAMELAPORTER-ci7mr]

I lost a client to that--10 days out of prison & she fries her brain

[@giorgiomorodor8974]

Diarrhea is WAY BETTER THAN CONSTIPATION Brother! Let it flow!

[@deborahbrown6029]

I just love your comedy thumbs up

[@vitorarthuso7327]

❤ what would i do without comedy thanks 🙏

[@RevanXIII]

the non-retarded Bert Kreischer

[@victoriaomdahl9890]

I actually started watching the first 48 after seeing this. Lol good stuff.

[@TheresaGivens-w8x]

Sledgehammer stand up is his best....sooo funny

[@allgunsblazed9106]

best? nope , was hilarious though.

[@ericatalk4441]

Seen thjis a million times & never caught his confusion btwn Stevel Segal & Sylvester Stallone 😂 “can you say Adrian one time?”😅

[@nadimnaouach5839]

SEGUUURRRRAA

[@kl9552]

This look of Tom, is my type.

[@jmeA86]

This version of Tom looks like the accordion player for the Congos. Go watch the music video come with me now and tell me I'm wrong

[@MikesOrganicVideos]

That bit with Chris Singleton was pretty funny. I was wondering if we were going to see John Stamos at the end of the song. Well played.

[@francisalbert7145]

Staying true to Segura content with all those adds

[@mroberts4847]

Please take a moment of silence for Bert

[@chrisvinson789]

What happened to burt

[@mikebodman901]

He’s still one of the funniest. If you gotta hate, you could always be a Karen at Walmart.

[@gaulstonedog4633]

Lmao 😂😂😂

[@brianholland2916]

I think I've got to try crack thanks to this guy!!! Ooooohhhhhwwweeeeee!!!

[@rolandocommando]

He will always be funny!!!

[@randomsheet128]

I’m still measuring my eye lashes 😂

[@scotttansey1943]

Yeah Buddy

[@loctee]

The video of him trying to dunk a basketball is the funniest thing he’s ever done. Hilarious 😮

[@MSG685]

It definitely changed his like dramatically for the better

[@basedjj93]

Idk that dancing video was hilarious 😂😂

[@leonardrhodes1958]

He got hurt doing that too.

[@Gercho-san]

I feel like it was Tom who made people think Steven Seagal is crazy... He is, but I think Tom Segura made people aware of that.

[@Hollywood2021]

If you saw Steven Segal in 2024...

[@shanebaker3404]

Every time I watch true crime murder shows I hear this: This was the worst murder I've ever seen. He'd give you the shirt off his back. Everyone loved him. He was a hard working man that would do anything for anyone.

[@Spiral.Dynamics]

We always ask our waiter or waitress for advise on where to eat, etc! 😂

[@jasminevazquezgaines7265]

That lawyer shit kills me on the first 48, why why why. Be educated about the law if u plan on braking it

[@judyfrancis4515]

"breaking". You can't "brake" the law - just your car.

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

...why,* why,* why?*

[@Locke-j6j]

​@@einundsiebenziger5488that's incorrect actually 😂 it's like an idiom. you don't have to grammatically correct slang or sayings.

[@DjangoFreeman-t9h]

Be educated on words if you plan on spelling them 😂

[@Locke-j6j]

@@DjangoFreeman-t9h this is just semantics. the point is still solid and this isn't a courtroom or classroom. if you think correct grammar at 2am from a phone on a random KZbin video is important you should probably get your priorities in order. I'm sure you've NEVER misspelled a word or said the incorrect thing like 90 percent of American English speakers though right? 😂 the WORST kind of commenter is someone who adds nothing to an already nothing statement and just "corrects" the OP. get a life bruh. won't be returning to read or reply to you so have fun lol

[@RockMuncher555]

"And now your in an awkward conversation with a cereal killer" - Tom Segura

[@Ripley1994]

Thw Hope Diamond 💎 😂

[@EggsWitLegs]

I like when they give the sped kid a chance on the stage he did great

[@stevelowe2315]

When i hear about crack cocaine i think of leonardo dicaprio in wolves of Wallstreet when he hits da pipe for the first time.... woooooowwwww lions and tiger's and bears... BTW I effing love crack mwah xoxo

[@Dezzled777]

Tom segura "JUAN" that argument...

[@ZaphodBeeblebrox-sy8ey]

The bit about entitlement really hits differently these days.

[@Rehd66]

Why? Because you follow, do and say what the internet tells you, like a f*ckin zombie?

[@kevincarhart716]

​@@Rehd66weirdo echo chamber detected. Entitlement isnt cool. Shut up

[@WarumWiesoWeshalb]

@@Rehd66jeah stupidity is taking over those dumb guys ^^

[@Locke-j6j]

​@@Rehd66tbf I actually thought he was referencing the part about not being able to afford things. then Tom got more money. that seems okay. but I forget that people spend their time hating on people they like or are more successful as a hobby and was like ah right damn thought we had a funny comment 😢 lol

[@crackernipple6020]

​@@Rehd66I mean the dude got angry at airport staff for asking him to go through gate-check going "i travel with this all the time" and calling the airport staff cunts. Kinda sounds entitled. Also calling people "poors" kinda sounds entitled aswell

[@tahjiawilliams8038]

The diarrhea joke is always my favorite cuz before i heard it i had the same experience wit my bf. It sounded like something was medically wrong for like a week straight. & he came out the bathroom lookin normal. & im like baby thats not normal. He's like, "i mean it is for me".😂😂😂😂

[@Ripley1994]

I know, right???? My husband leaves the toilet like a Jack Pollock painting 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@eight216]

bro really out here rooting for killers to lie better smh

[@jenniferdennis6465]

Comedyyyyy

[@eight216]

@@jenniferdennis6465 Jokesssssssss

[@genore1993]

Only for the poors😊

[@PattyBryant-mh4dd]

Hahahass 😅😀 To Funnys 😅😂 Great Comedy!! 💛🗽🇺🇸🗽🗽

[@Barbaroossa]

I had explosive diarrhea once. I sounded like a suppressed shotgun blast and it coated the entirety of the toilet bowl, it felt like my ass had blown up.

[@Xenc5]

Hi fellow poors, why are we watching this man

[@thebadash4165]

I love how so many feel like they can judge other drug users because their drug is now socially acceptable.

[@johns3650]

Good stuff though 😂😂😂😂

[@potterj09]

Must have been hilarious for his wife listening to him practice that hood voice in the shower. "Y0 cricket !!!, got conditioner in my eyes !!! no'mo'tears like a mo'fkker !!!".

[@artur583]

When u go to a hotel room, there's a real world chance ull get Tom Seguras ball sweat on your hands

[@pedromiguelmunozgarc]

34 years in this video....

[@nedreiz6]

It's a word. Fun to do as well. Relax.

[@Gauge-ed5yl]

As someone who used Rock on the weekend with a black dude.... That first hit....is....Woooooooooooooweeeeee 10 years clean. But yeah. But Dont.

[@user-tc5pl3zw3h]

When my daughter was a barrista at "Tenbucks", she explained to me that all the guys who work at all of those stores are gay. I accepted the premise, and then she said they all refer to a certain cold coffee drink as a "Fappuccino". I made the mistake of asking why. She reluctantly said, "It's not entirely whipped cream". Found out many months later she was making it all up.

[@collectivecommentary123]

The whole time he was talking about Stevel Seagal, I was thinking of Jason Segel and very confused.

[@30x4-4]

you are easily, maybe, the 17th best comedian on KZbin... maybe

[@eric-f4c6l]

The world thanks you for your opinion, without it, I don’t think any of us would have known you place Tom segura number 17 …. On you tube….. you are the 17th biggest douche bag in all KZbin comment sections

[@Uarehere]

10 years ago.... comedy wasn't dead yet.

[@MatTheLesser]

yeah!

[@BluntMoney420]

This shows that Before he sold out he actually was legit funny

[@malwynn9095]

I plead the 5th 😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉

[@erickahidalgo3144]

Funny cause is true lol 😂

[@SuperDaniel1225]

thanks this will work the next time i want to waste 30 minutes

[@buddycrockett5413]

That's called a panic attack!!

[@rpoorbaugh]

18:46

[@ColeWashbur]

Just read the negative comments user names it’ll explain a lot. 🤦

[@mrs333Alyssa333]

The amount of likes on the negative comments is what explains a lot. Tom was always a better comedian than a podcaster. Their entire podcast is just shock value? All they do is show disgusting clips, bring in guests, freak them out with the clips and that’s the show. Wtf is that. That’s not comedy or an even a decent podcast. I’ve been off the Tom train for a minute. Damn do I miss the old Tom and Cristina.

[@CNote-un6ob]

thats not saying much..jus saying@@mrs333Alyssa333

[@christopherbic7688]

Funny

[@PandaLife-lp8kn]

Fat is Funny.

[@patrickskramstad1485]

12:45 😆😂

[@UrbanAnalog]

So funny. I also shop for things I'll never afford and then I'm like..... naw... I want it in red. Lol