Coming Out Again? 🏳️‍🌈

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[@SaMannequiN2]

"He really made me feel cared for an loved, and that was something I hadn't felt in such a long time". Girl, leave your wife.

[@Poseidonblue123]

True!!

[@watchthisheadspace]

💯

[@26Dudy]

I was thinking about the same when she said "its been a downhill lately, taking drugs, ddoing selfharm etc." and i was like... girl, you need to realise that is because this marriage is not good for you and your mental health anymore :( and like, i know, who am i to judge, there is alot we do not know about, and yeah lik4e it is really hard to leave from a 5-year relationship, but come on, we are just worried:(

[@SaMannequiN2]

@@26Dudy exactly, when she said that it just sealed the deal for me. She deserves better. Her wife is weighing her down.

[@shenayhussein8229]

I know why your so attracted to this guy cause he shows you love and shows you that he cares and that’s what your looking for you even said so yourself. That’s the attraction Julia. If it was a girl showing all those things you would be with them to.

[@idonttan]

Honest question, what exactly do you get from Eileen in this relationship? She’s not helping you or even herself financially, and you have to find emotional support from someone else.

[@nsanenthembrane]

That was exactly what I was thinking..

[@Poseidonblue123]

I don’t know. I really think that they both are using each other for the channel and the views, so called money... I can’t tell anymore if there is love between them… I support Julia in exploring her sexuality, but I have my second thoughts about this 😢

[@Ahmeds1230]

Plzzz, Eileen has made This channel. And she is retired. She has worked all her life. Look at the views when eileen is in the videos and those without. Julias channel blowed up when she meet eileen and started to film eileen. Without eileen , they wouldnt even have a Roof on their head. Its her apartment. If you are retired, you are. You have Done your time working for many years. All People have the right to be retired when they are. I think Julia have panic that her channel Will go down and down if she leave, and she have no place to stay. So they use eachother right now

[@olgapanemorfopo4698]

@@Ahmeds1230exactly. Everyone says how bad Eileen is etc. I truly don’t get it. Julia says she loves her but she exposes her wife on the internet as the bad guy.. I wonder how Eileen accepted that. It takes two to tango . I don’t think Julia is the saint that she portrays herself .They’re both in the wrong

[@Prumiepaws]

Okay but even tho Eileen is retired she can't depend on Julias channel wth. She either needs to really help out with the channel or other stuff or go back to work. If they are in a marriage they should work it out together. Also probably Eileen is getting some retirement money.

[@irinalupu3611]

I would be wary of anyone initiating sex with someone who just went through a heart wrenching breakup. He sounds like he was just waiting for you to be in a vulnerable state so he could get in your pants.

[@user-ei4kk4lh6r]

Exactly. These kind of guys play the role and wait for the opportunity.

[@annac9534]

I didn’t get the impression they had sex. It seems like he comforted her and maybe they held each other and talked. At least that’s what I assumed.

[@adking888]

mmm not true, she opened her marriage for a reason and said I quote, 'life is too short for bad sex'. She's also 29, can handle herself and knows if she wants to hook up.

[@natalianehme3096]

she said they’ve been friends for years so it seems like he’s never made a real move on her

[@AngieB123]

Who needs a label??? Just be Julia.. just be you.💯

[@HerVintageCloset]

The comment she needed to hear ❤ I love you Julia

[@FlickeringEmber]

I agree.

[@Lestatthevampirebrat]

Truth 👏🏽

[@bryannaliebsack6187]

❤❤❤

[@user-rw7tp6fu4n]

Ye F4 labels

[@alessandrajackson3768]

Babes LEAVE YOUR WIFE! I don’t care is you are gay, straight, experimenting, poly, bi, or asexual! Someone making you feel loved and cared for shouldn’t be something missing from a marriage

[@xfrostpupx670]

She does

[@liliyapetrova8351]

Imagine how depressed she is in that marriage... to the point to start questioning her sexuality. She isn't happy with her wife... but gave so much to this relationship so now its pretty hard to leave. Maybe I am totally wrong.. Time will tell. Stay safe ❤

[@themischief420]

..... keep in mind someone can question their sexuality during good times too dude

[@user-gt4vd9ow5b]

I find it interesting how straight people have queer experiences and crushes all the time but are hardly ever put in a position to question thier identity as straight but when queer people experiment we are questioned and ridiculed and shamed.

[@annac9534]

This just isn’t true. Straight people get ridiculed for experimenting as well.

[@rcp4734]

labels matter to homosexual people, they matter for our literal safety. Calling yourself a lesbian and effing men is a safety hazard for the rest of us real lesbians.

[@pointinfinityzero]

Nobody *straight* experiments with their sexuality. Bisexuals exist, you know. They do.

[@amber0290]

This reminds me when my ex gf and I broke up, my male best friend of yearssss was the one I relied on. He never tried anything with me all that time, but when I was at my lowest, he made a move. I’m not trying to disregard you exploring your sexuality, do your thing Julia! I just want you to be cautious because a friend shouldn’t make a move on someone they care about when they’re going through something like this.

[@sarahbell3038]

100%

[@smileys462]

Amen

[@SininenKT]

Men can be EXTREMELY good at being there for you and listening to your problems and making you feel like you’re loved and supported when you’re at your most vulnerable (especially after a breakup or during a rough patch in your relationship) and 9 times out of 10 it is all a way of manipulating you into sleeping with them. Turn them down and you’ll be met with an angry storm of entitlement and whatever friendship you had with them will completely disappear. Not saying the man in this story did this, but it’s something to be wary of if you are going through what she’s described in this video. Men do not work in the same ways as women. They can get quite nasty and even dangerous if they don’t get what they want from you in this sense, and a lot of times they don’t give up. The worst men I’ve experienced have come in the kindest, prettiest, sweetest, most “caring” packages. (Again, not saying the man in this story is doing this, but just be safe out there peeps x)

[@sedona3player]

This has generally been my experience with men as well. Terrifying. Even had to get a restraining order for a “nice guy” once!

[@mariabianc]

Sad but true

[@Jordyanimatrice]

THIS.

[@socer451]

Yup.......so true

[@kiksimiksi]

💯 this is so true! A lesson almost every woman will learn at some point in her life

[@_tayymorgann]

To me, open marriages have always seemed like the last step before a split with your primary partner.

[@wlev123]

The most depressing about this is how unloved you feel in your marriage, like I don't think a new relationship is the answer. I think being on your own figuring out who you really are outside of a relationship, and possibly moving on from your marriage is likely whats best

[@evanova8440]

I personally believe you're not bi or pan, you're just feeling really vulnerable now and that's why the guy was able to 'display' care. Be careful. Don't let the comments to go for the guy get to you. You'll be making a huge mistake. Take some time off from social media and wife, you need to be with your family now

[@mason4966]

I'm not trying to "debate" you or anything but your comment has got me curious. Is it possible to Bi or Pan or fluid and not know it until a little later in life?

[@666symbiosis]

bro just get those divorce papers, yall are ridiculous at this point.

[@Rebecca_Bailey]

They have

[@jesss4174]

This is quite strange to me because I really don’t understand why Eileen doesn’t want to support her wife when she’s the reason her wife is so depressed. I don’t believe in the BS “oh because she’s old” excuse because if anything that means she’s wiser and should have plenty of time for Julia. The fact that Julia feels more love and support from her friends than she does from her wife.. I hope that Julia can be with someone who loves her unconditionally💔

[@abbeyd991]

I’m gonna be honest, only you know how you feel Julia, but I really would urge you to make sure this guy is genuine. It just kinda sounds a little predatory, only because you were in such a low place. So long as you feel comfortable in your queerness, that’s all that matters! But just make sure you protect yourself above all else. 💙✨

[@cookie________]

It’s okay to not label it. And it’s okay to deal with this privately while you figure it out. You don’t owe the internet an explanation if you’re not comfortable yet. It might make you more confused.

[@user-ei4kk4lh6r]

Guys like this tho .. the ones who hang around lesbians waiting for their chance. Being nice and sensitive. They know what they are doing. 🙄

[@andriana7414]

I love how y'all are here making assumptions about someone you don't even know what he looks like

[@nublessed8993]

Yeah I hate men like that, cos the amount of lesbians is such a minority

[@ALISONSTEFANYLEONARDOCHAHUARES]

but she's right thought, I slept w a guy who knew I am a lesbian, I wanted to know how it felt like, I'm telling you it was NOT good, I even thought I was ASEXUAL lmao@@andriana7414

[@isobeljohnshoward]

I’m bisexual but have wondered if I’m actually lesbian quite a few times, because for me the attraction ratio in my head is 80 women:20 men (or maybe even 90 women:10 men!). I’ve always felt more strongly attracted to women and had more female attractions than male, so it confused me. But then I thought about the fact that I have had and still have male crushes, one man in particular I had a MAJOR (unreciprocated) crush on last year. So I came to the conclusion that I am indeed bisexual as I thought, just with a preference for women. Maybe that’s you too! But if you feel more comfortable without a label or want to call yourself queer, that’s absolutely ok. I’d say go with what your heart wants 💖🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@gothilocks]

bestie you don’t need a label! it’s not a requirement n you can go unlabelled :)

[@Karen-kg3xv]

Totally agree with this!! ❤

[@PixelTheExtraTerrestrial]

True but its also self identity for some people ❤

[@gothilocks]

@@PixelTheExtraTerrestrial yeah ofc but it’s not required for people to label themselves! i label myself but not everyone has to :))

[@karliawareham245]

A marriage shouldn’t give you escalated depression. You need to leave her Julia

[@pinkpotatowarrior]

It's possible since you were so starved of love for so long, you confused his care for you as you feeling attracted to him? Could be a combination of comphet too. Just a suggestion of what could be. Sexuality imo isn't really fluid with gay or lesbians, but it is fluid with bisexuality. Whether you're bi with a preference for women or lesbian, we'll always love you Julia. 💖 edit: also Julia, really take the time to decide if you could be fully happy with a man in the longterm and fulfilled in every area

[@CherryDreamer96]

This is an interesting take. It brings to mind how people can start to develop romantic feelings for therapists, teachers etc

[@BookshelfEmvee]

Yes, these were my thoughts exactly

[@DecemberWinter23]

My thoughts exactly

[@diabolicaldebbie]

Well said. A true lesbian would never be with a man. ⭐

[@charlottedavies5461]

Thisnis 100% it

[@rachelclancy5290]

Sorry to add but anyone’s lucky to be loved by you. I see how much you love and supported Eileen and it’s really beautiful how loving and sweet you are. I just loved watching you love. You are love!

[@wingbat]

I relate so much with this! thanks for sharing 💕 I also call myself queer, but really, I'm like 99% lesbian lol but label-less would be even better. It's sad you have to feel shame simply for loving another individual, LOVE IS LOVE, and I really hope that shame eases up for you. Be proud of your heart. Be proud of your openness and vulnerability to share. You're amazing Julia!

[@sunshinesideofdarkside]

If you haven't felt loved for a while then you Know the answer. ❤ not liking my comment only means I'm correct. I'm sorry for your pain. But do the healthy thing for yourself.

[@stephaniebaird6937]

Julia, I can empathize with you so hard on this. I only dated men until college, then in college I was in a lesbian relationship with my current partner. Well, that partner came out as trans and transitioned our relationship (we're engaged now!). It can be confusing and I STILL don't have a label for myself 8yrs later. I personally wish I had a label because I feel like it would make things so much easier, but nothing feels like it fits 100%. Maybe one day we'll find the right word but until then it's okay just be ourselves, relax, and not have all the answers.

[@Nikkif1013]

So you’re still a lesbian then.

[@stephenyoung3328]

You luv who u luv, no matter who they are.

[@HEXCD4D04]

What would be easier if you had a label for your sexuality? (To me it seems you're bisexual since you've been attracted to women and men).

[@tima2553]

Eileen is on her retirement era, while you’re building your life. Y’all don’t match. You should get a divorce.

[@SuperSophie12345678]

I came out as bisexual when I was 13 it took me 10 years to realise I was lesbian. I'm now 26 and I feel my true self. Honestly just be true to you it doesn't have to be a label just whatever you're happy with. I hope you are genuinely healing all your subscribers are here for you no matter what 💜

[@ov7spears]

we all come out as bisexual.. I did too and i'm 100% gay

[@takiafranklin4383]

I HONESTLY THINK RIGHT NOW YOU ARE JUST IN A Vulnerable state AND THIS IS WHY THIS PERSON WAS ABLE TO GET SO CLOSE TO YOU CAUSE YOU JUST WANT TO FEEL LOVED ‼️💯 BUT ONCE YOU COMPLETELY HEAL I Guarantee HE WONT BE ENOUGH CAUSE YOUR HEALED SELF WANT A WOMAN ‼️‼️‼️ YOU SHOULD HAVE HEALED FIRST AND DATED WITH A CLEAR MIND CAUSE U DONT WANT TO HURT OR LEAD PEOPLE ON 💯💯🤷🏾‍♀️

[@lizzi7128]

I'm as straight as an arrow and I was just thinking before she even really got into it - hmm...men. I always know what they're doing/plotting. How to get when you're weak. Typical.

[@Aevelice]

Coming out again can be difficult, but you got this! You’re so strong 🫶🏾

[@zokow1434]

I believe that’s not important to have a label but to feel comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. You don’t have to explain to haters online your love live. It’s important to be yourself and feel good about it ❤️.

[@anonymousanonymous7208]

Honestly, Julia not trying to put you down. But, you say you want to work on the marriage but if this means working on the marriage, I see no work being done. It’s practically engaging with someone else and still keeping your former partner around as a backup option. Doesn’t sound good. Although what she did to you isn’t good but what you’re doing isn’t any better.

[@DecemberWinter23]

Please leave your wife. When you said “I did not feel cared for or loved in a long time” Is alarming. It speaks volumes my love. Please, leave. File now before it’s too late. I don’t think you’re bisexual. I think you are longing to be loved and cared for. And before I get attacked, let me quote what she said “I was held by him and he took care of me and I haven’t felt this way in a long time.” I think your heart ❤️ is desperate to be loved and cared for.

[@honeythefemaleamazonparrot6636]

It is easy to have a stranger make up think they are what you are missing and tell you the right things. It takes years to really know a person and even then, you may not have seen their true face. IT IS TIME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, FOCUS ON YOU... BE ALONE ❤

[@milagrosgranados1316]

I agree she's so lonely she will take any type of love and attention. She needs to be by herself.

[@heatherakagamermom7790]

I’m happy for you. I want you to take a break from all relationships and build on yourself first. You are extremely vulnerable and those emotions are extremely clear. People can take advantage of that. You need to be very solid when you start to explore the open marriage part. Just trust me on this. Seek out some extra therapy on the side and make sure you keep solid. ❤ I’m happy you are finding yourself ❤

[@flower_7890]

The best way to figure things out is to be single for a while, get to know yourself first. Give yourself all the care and love you need. If you don't love yourself you can make bad choices and end up with the wrong people. I can tell you're very fragile and lost, sending love🤗❤

[@JaynaEM]

I have such an issue with sexuality being a considered a part of anyone’s identity. It causes SO MUCH unnecessary confusion and shame. For what?

[@JaynaEM]

We are so much more than what we are “attracted to”

[@kesariashapatava117]

Agree! I mean it is okay to want to come out to people you trust, but it is never a necessity. We just exist and that is enough.

[@Bloominglady35]

I think she got attracted to what he mades her feel. She fell in love with the person and not the sexuality I believe. You get usually attached when someone make you feel safe.

[@apprules2104]

What?😂

[@Lunalane567]

Uh no

[@Bloominglady35]

What’s your hypothesis then I’m curious…

[@rcp4734]

"fluid lesbian" is an oxymoron. lesbian is a fixed definition.

[@atomkrochu628]

dont understand women that don't say that they are bisexuals...

[@charliehannah352]

I’ve been there. Once you accept yourself nothing else matters. Don’t be ashamed of who you are and don’t feel pressured to force a label on that person.

[@ericagrenier8300]

Guys will act caring when they think they’ll get a chance to be with you. They know the end game. He is listening to you talk about your marriage problems, he knows a lot of your relationship issues and now he slept with u. I feel like you could get that feeling with any human that showed u affection and love and all the things they know u are lacking. And ppl r right, u don’t need a label. “I’m a lesbian but down for D if the mood is right” hehe.

[@Kitty_Cat_Thoss]

I would like to add that there is something powerful when hearing how honest you are about the self destruction you experienced only because I've experienced just that and have felt like why I can't be "normal"...but seeing you and from the outside you seem so put together and handling everything. Behind the scenes the most perfect perceived people are just as human, dealing with things just as us outsiders might. Point is that I find you relatable and its refreshing to hear from someone who is so much in the public eye speak so openly about these things...it's a reminder that we are not alone in mental illness and part taking in "self destructive" things. I guess its comforting knowing we are all trying and are not perfect. Life is messy sometimes and that's okay no matter how good things may be perceived. We are in it together. With that said, I am sorry you did deal with such anguish. But remember you are not alone in having dealt with such things and confusions. You got this!

[@yourspookygay]

Do u still want to continue with this man? If no, maybe he gave you what you truly needed- support!

[@MalaWaldron]

What you've described is so interesting. I don't know about this from experience but I've seen it happen with traditionally heterosexual women quite often.. Women who have been with men their entire lives until ONE special woman comes along and changes everything for them. I'm not sure it means that person has suddenly become a lesbian. I have a feeling it's more about connecting with THAT individual on such a deep level that it transcends the sexual label they've identified up to that point.

[@TimeMovie93150]

i love this perspective!!!!!

[@JadeLaVerne]

yesyesyes

[@0616s]

girl even if you're attracted to only one man in the whole world, then you're bi. nothing wrong with that but that's literally all it is

[@KLRLK]

He stepped in when you were low and having major problems with your marriage. He was giving you what you were seeking from your wife. I believe you are still a lesbian and he was wrong in allowing it to go as far as it has. A friend does not take advantage of you when you’re low! You’re confused because he allowed it to go that far when you were at such a low. I think he was attracted to you and saw an opportunity and took full advantage of the situation. In the mean time you need to put distance between the two of you and get some counseling to work all this out. I also see Eileen as the gold digger in this marriage. You have been put through hell and sweet girl, us your fans want you happy again. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[@user-xf3og4qf8c]

👏💯💯

[@milagrosgranados1316]

I agree that man took the opportunity to sleep with her when she was vulnerable. That's not a friend. Now he's showing up at Christmas dinner and going to smile in Eileen's face like yes I slept with your wife. Not cool.

[@rcp4734]

She is not a lesbian.

[@RationalNon-conformist]

She’s very manipulative and not as innocent as you think..

[@bransbury2006]

I went from dating women for 4 years to only men now and married. I never labelled myself, i just dated who caught my eye and had a connection with. No need to label and definitely no need to apologise!!! ❤

[@sineadbales2801]

Julia, I need to get intouch. I’m a sister from London and have been in a similar situation. I’d love to connect. Be careful of the males that prey on us when we’re vulnerable. Which you are right now. You’re going through it. My heart reaches out to you. I also totally get it ❤ just be careful that’s all I am saying xxx it’s confusing

[@sophievictoria7337]

I can relate this so much. This year my wife of 8 years left me and now I am seeing this lovely, sweet man who gives me the affection and intimacy I’d not been getting from her for years. A lot of my friends and family think I have lost my marbles as I previously identified as a lesbian all my adult life. But I’m happy and having a great time with him so trying not to overthink it. I’m still attracted to women but am enjoying this new experience. So as long as no one is getting hurt and everything remains consensual, it is no one else’s business who you sleep with.

[@ArijitDas2010]

Are you two still together?

[@sophievictoria7337]

@@ArijitDas2010 yup

[@XxcelestialgirlxX]

I can sorta relate. First of all, it's super brave to be able to talk of this. I know it can be scary to find new things about yourself. So I'll share my journey so far: I was raised to be homophobic but no matter how much I spewed, I never really believed it lol. When I was around 5th grade, I got a follower on musicly who was pansexual and just was like "yeah that's me lol" and came out to all my friends (and even one of my guardians at one point but she literally forgot 💀). Time went on, bisexual felt better to me. I felt equal amounts of romantic and ... intimate attraction to every gender. Middle school rolled around and I was incredibly depressed. I was so numb most of the time and started to process that I never actually felt any romantic attraction to anyone other than celebrities and fictional characters. The term aromantic (little to no romantic attraction) freaked me out because I didn't want to be different. I wanted to be like others. So I ignored that and moved on. 8th grade I thought I had a crush, but it left within a week and I'm not sure it was a crush rather than "I wanna die. Hey hanging w you makes me wanna die less". Later began identifying as unlabeled because I figured that gender identity and sexuality labels stressed me out. Now I'm in senior year and I knew I just had to stop running from myself. Turns out, my "equal amounts of romantic attraction" to men and women was actually both 0 (or close to it). So still equal but, 0=0. I've come to realize that intimacy grosses me out and romance feels icky. I'm not sure where on the spectrum I am, but I know that I feel aroace to a fair degree. I still want romance and that fairytale, and because sexuality is fluid, I could still experience it all. I could meet someone and fall head over heels and get married. Love may be in my book, but just not in this chapter. Identifying as aroace right now has been a huge weight lifted. Yeah, I'm sad that romance isn't for me right now, but I'm just so at peace that I've found this part of me in this chapter. Tomorrow I could wake up and fall in love, or I could never date romantically ever and only get into QPRs (Queer Platonic Relationships. Like dating but no romantic attraction. More than friendship but less than romance). And I've started letting go of my rigid idea of gender. I'm trying to dive deeper into why I sometimes don't feel like a woman but that'll take longer lol. Just being able to understand that this is me now has been relieving. This has taught me to just let my identity flow more. It has allowed me to let go of so many things like people, ideas, and trying to be attractive to other people. You don't need to find put who you are now. You just need to know that you are you, and people love you for being you. Love is love, sexuality is fluid, and I love you all!

[@BetsyForever1111]

Wow, i appreciate you sharing this very personal journey you've experienced and have no doubt that in doing so you'll help many others who feel the same or similar. 'Hanging with you makes me wanna die less' definitely resonated with me ! Wishing you all the very best 💕

[@XxcelestialgirlxX]

@@BetsyForever1111 No thank you! That made me smile! I'm so glad you found any part of my comment relatable or helpful!! If I can make life a little easier for even one person, I'll be pretty happy. Also I love the name Betsy, so cute!!

[@LouDeppDepp]

This is mirroring exactly how I felt years ago before i entered my last relationship. I have been pretty confident about being a lesbian since an early teen. But I met a guy who love bombed me SO much at the start, I found it flattering, and sweet since I had never had successful relationships with women, I was lonely and I just wanted to be loved by someone. (Also looking back on it CompHet had a lot to do with it) I told him I was gay but he kept pushing and eventually convinced me. I felt stuck in that relationship for 4 years, unhappy because I had committed to something with someone I wasnt even attracted to. I was there to make THEM happy and for them to show off that they "got with" a lesbian. In my heart I just wanted to be with a woman. There was nothing really wrong with the sexual side, it was fine but since I was partaking in it I supposed that made me Pansexual, trying to put a word on my own confusion and justify it. Deep down it still felt wrong and being with them, once I woke up to it, realised I WAS wrong. I didnt listen to my gut like I should have at the start. So yeah, still a lesbian, who learned a big fucking lesson about love. 😓

[@florence.5088]

Not trying to hate or anything, but I feel like the main reason you went on a downward spiral and tried a bunch of things you never would have tried otherwise is because your toxic marriage has been stressing you out a lot. It's sad that you even needed someone other than your wife to make you feel loved and cared for. If there's anything you should be questioning, it's not your sexuality, it's your marriage.

[@rachelclancy5290]

All the love to you! We are all rooting for you! We are human and it’s ok to see love in someone you thought you wouldn’t and you aren’t denying your gay side. But right not just love yourself and keep loved ones around. ❤

[@plasticdiamon]

I’m bisexual and for me, is not like I like every men or women I see or I feel attractive just base on the look of the person. I think there are more important things like the energy of the person and how you feel with the person. I don’t think you should label yourself just give yourself a chance to love a person beyond the looks

[@flav2689]

This. Well said😊

[@BetsyForever1111]

Hi , im a Laura too and i have to say i agree with you that energy is EVERYTHING! 💕

[@BasedSockHead007]

This is how I am too. I'm more attracted to personality more than anything. This is why ive stuck with bi and not pan because if I really loved someone like I do my current s/o (which they may be the one, they may not I can't see the future) but if he said he was transitioning, I'd support it. Idk if I could meet someone going through that and jump right in because that's a big step to take in life and idk if I'm a strong enough person to support and be there for them how they need. If that makes any sense.

[@BasedSockHead007]

Which some would consider that pan but I don't, personally.

[@FlickeringEmber]

I'm straight but I agree with you. I fell for my (male) best friend after years of us just being good friends. It wasn't about the superficial, it was about the deep connection we had (and still have) and his personality. The rest grew over time.

[@roselikethewine]

You might just be attracted with his soul and his energy because he might be filling a void in you that you’ve been missing. Like maybe the lack of a father and that safety and security a father provides is what you’re feeling like you need. I think often times we confuse sex and attraction with connection. Also you really don’t have to label anything, so don’t get caught up with that. There’s no rule book to life, so we just have to try to live it the way that feels the best, the most right, and the healthiest with ourselves 🙏🏼☺️🖤

[@user-tl7gx1gx8q]

Because she wants a baby

[@roselikethewine]

@@user-tl7gx1gx8q she’s mentioned not wanting a child. Regardless as a woman there are ways to have a child without being with a man.

[@herrlich3720]

Just let her be omg

[@roselikethewine]

@@herrlich3720 how am I not letting her be?? When someone shares their life with everyone on a public platform people are going to have an opinion. I clearly stated mine. Not everyone is going to feel the same and some times people are going to have opposing views from the poster and there’s nothing wrong with that. Doesn’t mean anything. I’m not judging her or being negative. It’s up to her to consider our thoughts feelings and opinions, but at the end of the day she’s going to do what’s right for her, what works best for her and ultimately what she wants to do. So, just chill out.

[@SuperMusicalPassion1]

I came out as lesbian in 2016 at 22 years old and then came out as pansexual Demisexual last year at 29 years old . There’s no age limit for exploring sexuality

[@starfishey2]

Your friend is right! I didn't realize I was a lesbian until I was 32 Julia, I always thought I was bi before that and always dismissed my discomfort around men as nerves. You're never too old to have your sexuality fluctuate. All that matters in the end is that you are happy.

[@gianna4732]

Hmmm sounds like demisexual type of attraction

[@myopinionisirrelevantbut]

your followers love you for you, and your honesty with us. this was a hard topic to discuss internally and privately and it takes a lot of courage to speak publicly about it. i appreciate your honesty and candidness with us, your audience. i hope you take the time you need to feel comfort in all these changes that are happening in your life right now. that you find the same kindness you give your audience for yourself, and to see the joy in the new journey you’re on. although the future can seem intimidating i hope you’re able to see all the new and exciting things your future holds. things don’t happen TO us, but rather FOR us. thank you for continuing to share your journey, and i hope you continue to find love and happiness on your new path. 💞

[@kellyp5454]

Okay so you’re confused about your sexuality cause your wife couldn’t give you the affection and love you need and so you think you love this old man cause he took care of you. I’m ready to see grandpa on the channel 😂

[@lafidala.1726]

What the hell 😅 why do you think he's old?

[@tearsofdemon]

@@lafidala.1726cause he is??? there’s pics of them

[@Nobodyimportant25]

@@tearsofdemonwhere?

[@lizzi7128]

I really wanted him to be young and hot and argh...

[@miscmaddie]

This is why (as a bi girl who is primarily attracted to men and has only exclusivly dated men but are attracted to certain women too) I never completely came out. Labels are regressive and just make me feel inadequate if I don't fit the mold completely. Just be who you are and fluff everyone else ❤

[@beauR-u9m]

Same, I’ve had experiences with women and one was a best friend, but only dated men and I’m 43. No one knows I have these feelings, if I wasn’t married to a man, I know now I would be seeing a woman.

[@AWKWARDCONFIDENCE]

Same ❤

[@destiny8967]

I really hope you will have more love for yourself Julia and not need to have another person or even the internet to feel happy/validated. I only say this because I really relate to a lot of the things you say in your videos and have done similar things. But, just recently learning how to not be codependent. Sometimes it is best to step back and be with yourself for a while (i did this while still in a relationship too), but just focus on yourself and discover what you want. Not relying on that validation from others is so freeing in the end and one of the hardest things to do. However, whatever path you choose to go on, you got this, and self-discovery is so important. Don't listen to the haters, you deserve to surround yourself with kindness girl!

[@emmaperez3598]

As a woman married to a woman now . I had been in intense relationships in the past with women only. When I was the most vulnerable and isolated I gave a good friend (a guy) a shot and at first I felt so happy and I thought I was going to marry this man. Later into the relationship I came to the realization that men work a lot differently than women, especially on an emotional level. I was always left feeling like I was settling and lying to myself. I always craved things that you could only find in a woman (besides the physical). The lesbian in me just couldn’t see myself being with a man for the long haul & we broke up. It’s okay to explore your sexuality and it doesn’t make u “less than” in the lesbian community. Just be weary of the guys who make a move on you when you’re at your weakest and most vulnerable. I think you just need time to heal and to be single for a while.

[@Krystal.Swan.]

Virtual hugs!!!! Coming out a second time does not seem easy. We welcome you with open arms!!! Welcome to a beautiful side of the lgbt family. 💗💗💗

[@brandi5730]

Stop trying to figure out what is happening just enjoy your life ‘ And for the love of god divorce that wife

[@christidnl]

Julia I love your transparency! I've been a long time follower as well I appreciate how you are raw with your life and I hope you keep living your truth and never change what you want to do within your love life and all your life as a whole. Your inspiring and thank you for sharing with your mental health journey as well, I've been in a similar spiral with my mental health. Thank you again :)

[@jessycamaria5705]

I've been following you here for a while and honestly I've been through something similar, being with a girl who wasn't fulfilling what I was looking for at that moment and I ended up “experimenting” with a man. Today I understand that that was totally me misunderstanding what I was going through at that moment, it wasn't a nice experience mainly because I didn't need to go through that precisely because I always knew that I didn't have the slightest interest in them since childhood, just as you describe on video. Also, as everyone is commenting here, is this not the time for you to just rethink the situation you are in? Is it worth continuing in a relationship that lacks so many things that you long for in a relationship? I admire the fact that you are not constrained by age gap as we have seen in your at least 2 last relationships... but have you ever had a mature relationship with someone your age? Someone who is going through the same period in life as you? And finally, everyone has the right to do whatever they want in life and give satisfaction to 300k people should be the last concern in someone's life, but as you have an audience it's important to be responsible for the image you present. I mean, even after talking about maybe not being a lesbian anymore, you went on a program to participate in a debate AS a lesbian, and you know how many people out there say that all we lack is “a right man who can grab as properly” "You just need to find THAT man" all that terrible $h1t that they throw on us lesbians. So take care. All the best Julia.

[@PirateNought]

Sending you love, Julia 💖 When I get highly anxious and feel like I'm not sure who I am and what I'm doing, I think about a Japanese idiom: oubaitori. This is the belief that people, like flowers, bloom in their own time, we all grow and bloom at our own pace :) You've got this!

[@mariah391]

My last relationship with another woman was a couple years ago . I’ve always been “bisexual” but also found myself more attracted and interested in dating men . Idk how to label myself as well but honestly I think you should just be patient with yourself and allow yourself to go through those feelings

[@My.dimplesRock]

Have you thought about demisexuality? Maybe you're demisexual, you feel attracted to people who care about you, and you connect with them.

[@coachjuley]

Omg Julia, I'm 30 and the same thing happened to me!! I thought I was alone 😂 I was a hardcore lesbian my whole life, never found men attractive, never dated men. And a few months ago I met a guy that I felt super connected to emotionally and physical attraction grew from that, I was absolutely shocked. So I totally relate, don't pressure yourself to figure it out, just ride the waves 😁 sexuality is quite fluid I think and it depends a lot on specific connections

[@diabolicaldebbie]

Translation...your biological clock was ticking and its a lot easier and cheaper than IVF..🤵👰👶. You were never a lesbian because a real lesbian never would have been with a man. Stop trying to define the word lesbian as being fluid..it is not!. Lesbians are not Pansexual. We are not bisexual. It's women like you that give men mixed signals that make them think it's just a phase or that lesbians are open to a threesome..Congrats on being a hetero..but you can never call yourself a lesbian again.

[@adelesmith7827]

Yes!!!! ❤

[@Shahana922]

That's because you hit the wall hard once women understand the real cold life when they get old being a lesbian is absolutely useless because women don't provide value long time

[@nat3799]

Hi Julia, I absolutely love your videos. Could you tell us what lip product you are wearing in this one?

[@eveyvids]

I was in a similar situation to you - identified as gay until my mid-20s when I met one man who shook up my sense of sexuality. I am predominantly attracted to women, don’t really notice men ever at all - I also don’t identify as bisexual for similar reasons you mentioned. I’d say I’m homoflexible but I’ve been using the term “queer” as there is so much variation in that without being too specific. I do strongly still identify with my gay identity because I envision “settling down” with a woman and love women so much. I must also say that things did feel different with this one man I loved - I needed much more of an intellectual and mental attraction in order to feel physical attraction, however with women I can be attracted to them physically by just looking at them 😂❤ women are amazing!!

[@Destroyer28911]

As my mother always said you gotta “shop around” you are beautiful and talented Julia, attracting a partner won’t be an issue, knowing their true intentions is important 💕

[@LeahTaylor-ed2ex]

I came out as lesbian at 16, I was exactly the same as you I was so certain in my sexuality. I never felt any attraction to a male in any way. I am 27 and now married to a man and I love him so much but if we didn’t work out (which I know we will) I don’t think I could ever see myself with another man so I don’t really know what I label as either but I’ve learnt to be ok with that, it took me a while but I got there. All I know is I’m married to my husband who makes me very happy and that’s all that matters :)

[@pridan94]

Spicy straight

[@kaitlinprice5337]

You will always be loved and accepted by me! 💗💗💗 Be the lovely Queer Deer that you are and frolic as you please. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas dinner. 🎄✨

[@breakfasttacos4550]

PS it seems as though you are in a really unhappy, unfulfilling relationship. It can effect so many aspects of your life. It might be worth considering leaving it.

[@chloedoyle-yc6ih]

Feel free to go without a label people don’t have a right to know what you identify as the only person you need to answer to is yourself❤ Edit: Also don’t feel like you’ve let us down! You have not let us down by being the best version of you!

[@jacliveshere]

Kate Flowers went through this too and she was surprised she got with a man after only thinking she was lesbian. We always love you Julia. I'm glad you're feeling better.

[@seg662]

Hi Julia! I have watched your videos since before you and Eileen got married. Big fan! I agree with the other comments that this person offered you something that you’re deeply yearning for, and whether it came from a man or a woman, it’s what you needed. No one knows exactly what you and Eileen have been going through - also as Schitts creek says, maybe you “like the wine and not the label”. I know labels help people feel an identity but they’re not necessary and really you don’t have to answer to anyone. That being said - I think you know what is best for you deep down. It seems like your situation is harming you in many ways more than helping you, and you have to put yourself first ❤ sending you love from Canada!

[@DeadlyWhispers]

Girl I'm a bisexual woman with a preference for women and have had girlfriends in the past, and my fiance is a cis man, I love him sm. So honestly sexuality is a spectrum I believe. You do you!

[@OrlaAfikiruweh]

what is a cis man?

[@DeadlyWhispers]

@@OrlaAfikiruweh Google is free 🫶

[@annateigen2271]

Dearest Julia- I have subscribed to you for so many years. You have teached me to keep an open mind and to respect others and have also helped me understand my self better. I could never, EVER feel disappointed to you just because you have found some joy, peace and love after a long time of feeling horrible. I understand that there are different views within our queer community, but what I truly wish for absolutely everyone is to just. be. happy. ❤ Thank you so much for being so open, but please never feel like you must share your feelings with us. Your life is still only yours. Love you so much (in an online, but very much soul-kind of way. Have a very merry christmas, fellow queer. Hugs from Norway ❤

[@stephenyoung3328]

An open marriage is an Oxymoron, just stay single until u find your soul mate, male/female/other.

[@tearsofdemon]

“other”

[@stephenyoung3328]

@tearsofdemon I don't care if she want's to marry a lamppost, if it's here soulmate, let her be.

[@tearsofdemon]

@@stephenyoung3328 LMAOOOOO

[@monicagutierrez1526]

My belief and opinion is that the LGBTQ community is a pretty fluid community overall. The community is about embracing your sexuality & not really about labeling yourself but rather just loving who you love & that’s okay 💕

[@Ciela-ij2hw]

Stop generalizing LGBT! Not everyone is fluid. As a lesbian myself I would feel very uncomfortable to even imagine kissing with a man.

[@Xxsorafan]

so what she had an encounter she loved that involved a man but still is much more heavily attracted to women that doesnt mean shes no longer allowed in lesbian spaces or whatever@@Ciela-ij2hw

[@karabear8076]

We’ll said 😍🥰✌️🤭

[@PixelTheExtraTerrestrial]

Sorry but its self identification and like you said that is your belif not a fact

[@Ciela-ij2hw]

@@PixelTheExtraTerrestrial The only one who are fluid are bisexuals and pansexuals. A lesbian is a woman who is only sexually and romantically attracted to other women. It's literally the definition of homosexuality: Attracted ONLY to the same gender. It's not a opinion, it's a fact. Everyone can identify how he or she wants but it doesn't change the definition of something that has been proven to be a fact.

[@rebeccaprasek3140]

There is no way we could be disappointed in you. We still love you. Just take care of yourself.

[@ankyan00andersson32]

He came so close to you,and was supportive, a really good loving friend. It isnt strange that you got feelings for him. You to came close in your souls. There is no wrong and right,you dont need to explain yourself. I think its beautiful,that you can feel different things in your life.

[@checkeredouma]

While you don't need labels, as a person who has been through this road multiple times, I feel you. I will say you could be homoflexible. That is something I'd consider if I were you. Stuff changes overtime it's weird. I wish you luck on your journey and hope you find a label that makes you comfortable and happy. Edit to say that you can still use the term Lesbian even if you're homoflexible or whatever. As long as you're comfortable with it, it's your label, your choice. Either way, lots of love from a long term sub!

[@melisa4302]

It’s really good to hear that you have someone who takes care of you!

[@huffle-simmer6855]

You are glowing, Julia

[@n.zsofiaszabo479]

Soooo much❤ i really like seeing her like this🎉

[@julianafashion0707]

Oi Julia! Hoje preferi escrever em portugues pra voce se sentir abraçada por alguem da sua Terra... Passei por isso aos 20, senti atração por uma mulher pela primeira vez e comecei a me questionar muito, me culpar, me achar uma depravada por só desejar sexualmente as mulheres e nao conseguir ter interesse romantico, alem de serem pessoas muito seletas e especificas em que sinto atração quando se trata do mesmo sexo. O melhor que a gente pode fazer wiando está se descobrindo é questionar e buscar respostas com o tempo, mas também nao se culpar ou depreciar por se sentir diferente do que era antes pq estamos em constante mudança... Vá com calma e se permita sentir tudo o que está no seu coração porque está te guiando de volta pra si mesma e pra deusa que há dentro te você. Amo o seu conteúdo e te vejo desde 2017 e vejo as suas lutas e crescimento, espero que consiga se libertar de certas amarras que a gente acaba colocando e impondo pra nós e que só colocam peso nas nossas costas... Te desejo o melhor e quando vier pra São Paulo eu adoraria ter um encontrinho com outros incritos aqui... Te mandando tudo o que há de melhor ❤❤❤

[@ronnie-lynn]

I realized I was straight at around age 28. I don’t think age matters in regard to sexuality. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@gwenrobinson3990]

You have so much love on your channel, everyone in my opinion has given you such damn good advice! I would start listening, a lot of love and light my dear!

[@Chelelinda]

Hey, bisexual here. So it’s not a 50/50 thing. Most bisexuals tend to date one gender more than the other or have a preference. Also, sexuality is very complex. Just because you had one encounter with a male doesn’t exactly make you bi. Not saying that couldn’t mean that you could be. I just know a lot ppl have a hard time grasping what we are because we are apart of the community. But we’re not gay. I think ppl forget that sexuality is fluid. Don’t pressure yourself into needing to know all the answers. Life is a journey and you are still young. You are always going to discover or experience new things.

[@countrybabexo7387]

Hi Sweetie!! I just want to say never let people think something is wrong with you or your having a mental breakdown, as humans we grow everyday, new people come into our lives that can really change our lives which is a beautiful thing. Don’t force any pressure on yourself just let things happen naturally and if it feels right to you go with it, just be unapologetically you! I’m so happy for you, you deserve all the happiness and love in the world you should never let anyone make you feel less. I just feel sad that your wife isn’t meeting you half way and treating you the way you treat her, watching your previous video on your relationship truly broke my heart. But I’m glad you can see what others see. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I can just see your future getting brighter. Always remember you are worthy, you are loved and your feelings are valid. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life journey with us it’s been amazing to watch you grow over the years and can’t wait what’s to come in the future. Have a magical Christmas and a happy and safe news years! Sending virtual hugs 💕🫶🏼

[@7ethereal719]

I figured that labels only exist to limit people. I eventually stopped labelling completely and found peace and then I found myself. My life was transforned in a way that I never expected. I never looked back.

[@chambernews]

You feeling loved and happier is the most important. I'm happy for you that you feel like the negative spiral you've been in, is finally changing to the better. You deserve that

[@LP-km7gj]

Don’t let anyone pressure you to post anything. Like you said, you have over shared at times and anyone watching can see how that has been detrimental to your mental health at times. Not everyone on here genuine cares about you like some of us do. People just love drama and don’t realize there is a real person behind the screen. I personally am technically straight and married to a man but I have had a couple experiences with women that I have enjoyed and that has confused me at times. Not sure if I am technically bi or just bi-curious but decided I don’t need a label at this point. ❤

[@spencerhyder1807]

Holy crap, Julia. I was just talking with my partner (male) about the same feelings I have while I had you on pause. Then when I started playing it again, you said everything I did verbatim. It feels SO SO validating to hear you say that while you have always been a lesbian. I have only been with one man, my partner, and have had multiple relationships with women. Still have relationships with women. But I have him as my nesting partner because he’s more of my best friend (with sides of intimacy and romance), and I just love to live with my best friend.

[@n.zsofiaszabo479]

Love yourself the way you are❤ love dont need labels🤷🏼‍♀️💕

[@analuv99]

this is so interesting to me and has honestly made me reflect on how i think, so thank u for sharing! Even though you never have to, remember you don't owe anyone anything. This made me think of when straight people say like "i'm straight, i've been in love with someone of the same sex before but i'm still straight" and that's always made me go like "yeah, sure, ok, ur just scared of saying bisexual. It must be internalized biphobia cause how r u gonna experience something like that with the same-sex and not be queer at all?" BUT maybe it really can be just that. I think you can still identify as a lesbian, because its just what u feel u identify with and it can coexist with this experience you've had. Your identity is so personal, it should always only come from you. And maybe someday, maybe you'll be attracted to another man and maybe you'll feel different about ur identify, and that would also be so okay. People change, it's only natural, most important thing is to love yourself and be happy💞

[@namutebirashidah5975]

If the that guy made you feel loved and cared for comparing to other women you've been with, including yo wife, then you married the wrong person...........

[@Toretto_the_pup]

I agree