Coming out putting a pride flag inside of the turkey? // Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt with

[@annabees]

important detail: it's not because it's made out of ceramics that it can't cut your skin. If you can chop chicken breast with it, it WILL cut through your skin. Saw a video the other day where someone said they hurt themselves trying to check this 😅

[@stevie]

Hi hi! Ceramic knives are WAY sharper than metal ones! The brand I’m talking about is called Slice. They are thick and not as sharp as other things, and they say they’re the only safety knives. But also the handles of their tools are accessible for different hand disabilities and deformities!

[@annabees]

@@stevie oh, I didn't know tha name of this brand! thanks a lot for explaining 😃

[@TehTeh911]

@@stevie OMG they make seam rippers and box cutters and stuff too. I love you for this, but hate you on behalf of my wallet's future.

[@Tara........]

I genuinely appreciate it when guests who have dietary restrictions for whatever reason make me aware of it beforehand. That way, I can ensure that I've made dishes that can accommodate them.

[@westzed23]

You are a lovely host for doing this.🎅❤️🎄

[@truecrimelover2022]

same and i never ask why it's none of my business but i do want them to have some options while they are there

[@missnaomi613]

Same!

[@katiemarshall4340]

Yeah I make it easy for everyone who asks me to visit. Crustacean and mollusc allergies will literally kill me and avoiding them is always beneficial to living. Since we live in a 1 bedroom flat we can't have people over for Christmas lunch/dinner but instead we have mini parties with 3 or 4 friends and make lots of snacks and little treats and an obscene amount drink.

[@laartje24]

Some people get scared to speak up for themselves though (because of obnoxious and disrespectful people) so I always make sure to ask if I am hosting and make it very clear that I will make sure that there is something they can eat and that they are free to bring any food they want/need if they prefer.

[@middlemuse]

I couldn’t decorate for Christmas this year because covid and chronic illness combined to keep me in bed. This is probably a niche solution, but I got some joy and relief from decorating my Animal Crossing island and inviting friends over.

[@dees3179]

That’s so cool. Well done. I haven’t got time to decorate this year until the evening of the 24th,…assuming the migraine allows me to do so. Slightly unfortunately I’m hosting Christmas and we start on the 24th……the last two years decorations didn’t get up till Boxing Day. Year before that, didn’t bother. Year before that I didn’t take them down till March. Just cos you’re in bed this year doesn’t mean you have to wait till next year. If you feel better in April stick something up and have a Christmas party. If I find a reduced turkey after Christmas I freeze and serve Christmas dinner for Easter……it’s become something of a tradition. There’s often someone bringing a left over Xmas pud, or the end of the port or some chocolate they forgot about. We drew the line at some mince pies mother found in a bucket in the cleaning cupboard as there was a possibility they had been there from the year before….. Hope you are having fun decorating your island and that you can have some zoom socialising even if you can’t go out.

[@sheilarough236]

My sister has numerous food allergies & sensitivities. At family gatherings, we always make point to have plenty of foods that, either have substitutes for her allergens, a portion set aside for her without the allergen, or let her know that it has her allergen in it so she can avoid it. My mom has done this since we were small, when sister started developing her allergies

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Same, but for aunts and uncles.

[@beetrisrubis]

Same, but even after 20 years of this my family still complains and thinks we are just "spoiled"

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

@@beetrisrubis Ask them if they want some arsenic with their food.

[@aliwolfe343]

As someone with IBS a bidet was one of the best gifts I ever got! Its also a real life saver when you cannot move very well after surgery

[@l6318]

As someone who also has IBS and a bidet, I heartily endorse this message!

[@InvisiblerApple]

I've been looking into bidets so I can stop buying so much toilet paper (fellow IBSer). Got any tips, like should I trust Kogan ones?

[@stevie]

Hahahaha this is why I thought it was a thoughtful gift! 🙈🙈🙈

[@aliwolfe343]

@@InvisiblerApple I honestly have a cheap Luxe bidet. I don't really need heated water or extra features, I just needed it to be easy to install and easy to clean. The only issue with the cheap ones is they tend to go from a gentle stream to a power washer pretty quickly and there is not a lot a nuance between the two. They can take some getting used to but are totally worth the learning curve.

[@KendallM0219]

@@InvisiblerApple You know those sprayer attachments people install on their sinks? Those stainless steel ones are absolutely spectacular, and since hopefully your toilet won’t be somewhere cold the water will always be a great temperature. They also have pressure options to, super easy to install and are very easy to clean and maintain. No special toilet seat or anything like that. Plus they cost anywhere between 10-40$ based on which one you want. Good luck on your bidet journey!

[@bruceboa6384]

It's so cool Stevie and Jessica are friends. I've been subscribed to both channels for years and years.

[@Kat-bu3bn]

I have a son with food aversion. I have been TRYING to explain to ppl since he was three (he’s now 19) why he can’t eat certain things. It’s not a WONT, he can’t. He’s had PT for it and a nutritionist for it. It’s heart breaking watching him deal with and ppl with their nasty comments don’t help. I’ve watched him starve himself so if he’s eating anything I’m happy. Thank you for this video. Merry Christmas!

[@angel-ke9vs]

Christmas is what you make it. I am South African in our community we don't really decorate the house but it's all about the food, friends and family. And its summer so it's also about the beach/pool and sunshine. It's not what you see on the tv but its still AWESOME.

[@kathleenanne7868]

Do you have a tree? Most houses I've been to in SA have some sort of decoration...

[@luisadesoveralbotelho5754]

The way I deal with not being able to decorate is Christmas music!! It gets the magic going, and it's quite easy for me to do. I also like just having Christmas conversations with friends, scratches that itch for me.

[@bossyboots5000]

That's a great idea! I was surprised at how much Xmas music Spotify had, and made a playlist of all the songs I liked. I did a smaller list on yt for songs I couldn't find on spotify.

[@CharaMcN]

the light-up glasses suggestion really made me cackle, thank you stevie hehe. my grandma started doing a small wire christmas tree that she'd put some of her favorite/most nostalgic ornaments on. it's a nice way to do small scale decorating! as for coming out w/ a pride flag in a turkey, whoever does that I hope it works out! I just passive aggressively gifted everyone a copy of 'the ABC's of LGBT' by ash hardell and wrote in the cover what I identified as so it was their problem to look it up/educate themselves lol. This doesn't work as well in hindsight considering I didn't know I was non-binary at the time, but ah well

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

You'll just have to look up the page or pages for non-binary and send them an email with the page numbers.

[@CharaMcN]

@@ireallyreallyhategoogle hahaha what a fabulous idea! I'll have to get on that

[@AndiPandiBee]

My sibling is 10. They asked for a trans flag for Xmas and came out to me. So I guess he's coming out to our parents for Xmas. I'm worried as I won't be there, but my uncle and our cousin's will be. So I'm hopeful it'll be enough to keep him safe. - he's been dropping hints to parents most of the year but they aren't listening.

[@jennifers5560]

Best wishes to him! ❤

[@sarahallegra6239]

Congratulations to him! I hope it goes beautifully ❤

[@sdfghjasdfghjk8175]

Thank you for being a sibling Ally! I hope it goes well. If it doesn't, there are a ton of resources like pride counseling and NAMI and Trevor Project. To help support them in whatever they need. Planned Parenthood also has some gender resources now. Again, I hope it goes well and hope you continue be their ally either way, as much as you are able(not more than). It helps, especially when they are family.

[@AndiPandiBee]

@@sdfghjasdfghjk8175 well I'm nonbinary and my husband is trans sooo it would be weird if we didn't support my sibling

[@sternentigerkatze]

I hope all went well for them!

[@_shannons]

"Explain your gastric distress in intimate detail" and that's the sweet aunt answer. XD

[@dees3179]

Ask them something rude in return.

[@marymcewen3610]

Honestly one of my favorite ways to reply to a question that I have been answering for YEARS

[@waffles3629]

Yep. I give people one warning that they don't want to know. If they continue asking that's on them. Lol, most people learn to stop asking me questions they don't want the answers to very quickly. Well, unless they are a nursing student, then apparently that makes them ask me *more* questions. Lol

[@logo9470]

Jessica’s Momma bear showing up was so great to see! Btw you both look lovely ❤❤❤

[@ERYN__]

I have a new tradition for my cats. I started it last year, where I gave my cats a chirping cricket toy when I started reading Cricket on the Harth by Charles Dickens for that Christmas season. Their one from last year has run out of chirps, so now it's a grasshopper, and I love the random sounds they make with a working one.

[@calsannepotgieter4200]

This is pretty awesome!

[@l6318]

I REALLY needed that first question! I'm a vegetarian with a GI disorder and I'm on a restricted diet. I have the opposite problem of people trying to get me to eat foods I can't - my mother emails or texts me ahead of time with every ingredient of every dish she plans to make and asks if I can tolerate it. While I appreciate the effort she's making, it actually tends to stress me out, and I'd rather she just makes what she wants and I can choose from what's available...because I'm an adult and I know how to avoid eating things that will poison me. Even so, I wonder if my reaction is a little ungrateful. Thoughts?

[@mjay6317]

What if she makes stuff that you can’t eat and there’s nothing to choose from? Maybe instead of giving ingredients, you can just tell your mom whole dishes you can eat instead of ingredients. That may help.

[@TiaTruly]

Ah yes, the eternal struggle. Vegan here, with a collection of GI issues, coeliac, and various allergies. I have to make/bring my own food to any and all gatherings. It makes me sad sometimes that I have to sit there eating whatever I had enough energy to make for myself, which is always totally different than what everyone else is eating. (Not to mention always having to explain in detail everything that is on my plate, and why, and debate the nutritional value, and then someone wants a taste, omg please leave me alone!) Communication is always good though... that's a lot of work for your mom, with all the menu ingredients. Nothing wrong with explaining to her why that system isn't working for you. Maybe give her one thing to make for you? Is there a favourite sidedish of hers that you like or something you know she can't mess up or cross-contaminate? Then maybe she could still feel like she's being a "good mother" by feeding you, without the added stress? For example, my aunt (who has a list of my allergies) always prepares a personalized appetizer tray for me, with a little cup of homemade hummus, veggies sticks, plantain chips, and a type of sea vegetable cerviche that we have in my country. She makes it first and covers it all to keep it safe. I bring my own main dish, but at least I can join in on the aperitifs like a "normal" person.

[@deszeldra]

I’d ask them to put those lists next to each dish on the day

[@NightOwlReader2790]

@@naps4all No, the person is not ungrateful! Their feelings are absolutely valid. I’ve reported your comment because I believe that it was incredibly rude, and tremendously unhelpful.

[@NightOwlReader2790]

@@deszeldra That’s a very good idea.

[@Alex-uy3ph]

My Husband and I have 3 GI issues between us, so we usually do this: Whenever possible, offer to bring at least 1 thing for the meal that we know we can eat, and like. That way, even if everything else is something we can’t eat, or if people forget what we can/can’t eat, we know we will have at least one safe food. Because we have 3 issues between us (IBS, Functional Dyspepsia and Gastroparesis) we totally understand people may not remember all our can/can’t haves. It took us a long time to figure it out. So this works best for us Our family does their best, but everyone once in a while they accidentally include something we can’t eat. I really appreciate their efforts

[@missnaomi613]

I want to acknowledge how seen I felt watching this! Myself and my kids have a multitude of dietary restrictions (some for health, some for religion.) And I don't celebrate Christmas. Thanks for all you do to help normalize the diversity of diversity! 🙏❤🏳‍🌈🏳‍⚧🕎🎄🕯

[@efjeK]

OMG, the dietary thing hit me so hard. Literally had a mental breakdown during a family reunion because I am extremely allergic to avocado and my cousin remained extremely stubborn that sushi HAS to have avocado and I should just eat something else. Exactly 100% of the times there was avocado used in a family reunion and I could just 'eat something else' I had a cross-contamination reaction and you would think they would know this after 20 years...

[@HandmadeDarcy]

First: even if your cousin was right about avocado being essential to sushi (which she is absolutely not), what makes sushi essential to Christmas? She can serve something else! I'm allergic to zucchini - anaphylaxis - and I'm lucky that my family respects that but sooo many people (particularly chefs and waiters) simply don't believe anyone could really be allergic to zucchini and just serve it to me, and I suspect people would be the same about avocado. Here's the thing: after all this time, they do know. They are choosing not to respect it and - quite literally - putting their own trivial BS before your life. They are selfish and not treating you with love, so: a) you have every right to be angry with them in your own heart; b) you have every right to express that anger and hurt to them and make it clear to them that if they are unwilling to protect your health and life by avoiding a food for one day, *they are choosing* to exclude you at their family occasion because they are making it unsafe for you to go; c) when anyone asks you - before, during, or after the event - why you're not going, or tries to put the guilt on you and make you the bad guy for "making a fuss" or making your cousin feel bad, or making anyone feel bad - make like Gandalf and do not let it pass! Keep reminding them that your cousin is choosing A FRICKIN FRUIT over a family member; d) Most importantly: If they stand their ground, follow through and don't go but look after yourself on the day! Plan something that will help you feel less lonely, or even joyful, on the day - is there an understanding friend who will support you and invite you to their family for the day, or is there someone you know who also can't be with family that you could share the day with? Or if you do have to be on your own, do something that you love to do that you can really revel in in a way that you'd have to curtail in company - like your own movie festival with all your favourite snacks and movies that make you cry with tears and/or laughter... or take yourself to a place, or event that you've always wanted to go but felt you "shouldn't" spend money on "just yourself" etc. Hopefully they will learn the lesson from missing you at a single Christmas. 🌷🌷🌷🌷

[@strawberrymilk_nya]

@@HandmadeDarcyGreat reply but it wasn’t about Christmas, instead a family reunion.

[@sarahallegra6239]

I don’t know if this helps, but I have chronic pain and autoimmune issues that make decorating pretty impossible too. A few years ago, my husband bought a little ceramic Christmas tree that lights up. It’s about a foot high, we set it on our coffee table and put a string of lights and a few scattered ornaments and decorations around it. It’s super simple, extremely minimal to put up, energy-wise, but still REALLY makes our little apartment feel very festive! I feel like any time there are pretty lights on, it feels like the holidays to me. Just putting that out there in case the idea helps anyone else!

[@VeretenoVids]

Happy solstice everyone! I have to say I agree with Stevie about gifts you don't like. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but I personally prefer to know if I've made a gift blunder so I never do it again and have a chance to get you something you like next gift occasion. Yes it is awkward, but even more awkward is giving someone fruit filled chocolates for years thinking they loved them and then learning they hate the combo of fruit and chocolate. (Yes, true story.) I also really appreciate that my family has always been very pragmatic about gifts. We exchange short lists. Yeah, takes away the element of surprise, but also takes away the element of "Oh, you shouldn't have. You really shouldn't have."

[@waffles3629]

Yeah, I give almost no surprise gifts unless I know for certain the person will like it (for example a food I've seen them eat). Other than that I just ask people. Like you said, it ruins the surprise, but I'd rather not surprise someone with something they don't want.

[@billiebluesheepie2907]

Everyone in my family got my auntie Dorothy toffees for birthdays and Christmas, she was never without a tin on her sideboard - years later she dropped it into one of our private conversations that she’d never liked toffees since she had dentures put in, in her early 20’s! It had been going on for so long she didn’t want anyone to get upset. (I think it’s safe to mention now as she died more than a decade ago!)

[@TheresaK71]

My partner and I are spending our second Christmas together just us, and we've planned a nerf gun fight for Christmas day! It's so silly, we're both approaching our 30s and we're so excited for it! We're going to make it a tradition because we can and we want to have fun and be silly. Traditions don't have to be traditional.

[@calsannepotgieter4200]

Love it!

[@kathleenbrashier2579]

We all need a Pocket Stevie to bring along to tell off obnoxious family members. Also, a video of Jessica yelling at people trying to feed Rupert food that will hurt him is something we all need. "No! He can't eat it! Or he'll writhe in pain for hours afterwards! You stupid piece of crap!" I'm American, so it doesn't remotely sound like Jessica.🤷‍♀️😂

[@_andrewvia]

In your short, you model an outfit. Thank you for putting yourself on youtube. Your enthusiasm is encouraging. i wish I could return to you some of the positive energy you give out through your channel.

[@whendnewzum3058]

Its so refreshing to hear both of your answers though they may seem different u both sit in non judgement to others!! Love you both so much!!

[@cboyd3469]

Decorating tip: use one of those outdoor laser lights and just point it at your biggest indoor wall. It lights up the whole wall super easily.

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

The pajama fairy seems related to the Christmas Eve box (a box for each kid with Christmas themed items that aren't exactly present worthy like new pajamas special hot cocoa mix or popcorn or snacks maybe a book or some other clothing/personal items) things that are useful or consumables that would make an underwhelming present but really help heighten the Christmas mood

[@jennifers5560]

That is a really sweet thing to do!

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

I mean I guess my daughter is only 4 but this is exactly the sort of thing I get her for her main presents 😅😅

[@hopeh0pe]

sometimes i can have problems accepting changes, in a sentimental way. Its impotant to remember that if you don't follow through with your traditions EVERY SINGLE TIME, thats okay! Things change as you grow and family dynamics are different every year. you might experience the joy of new babies, new partners or friends, step-siblings, you might experience the grief of death, people moving away, illness or injury, there will be changes everywhere you look, so changing traditions to better suit everyone as time goes on is TOTALLY FINE!!! there are lots of things we used to do and dont do anymore which is sad but we have a new tradition now or a twist on the old ones! make room for change in traditions, its something that happens naturally.

[@resourceress7]

There are lots of artsy crafty things you could do even from bed. And no your art doesn't have to be "good" - whatever you think that has to mean. It can just be fun to do. Coloring book, abstract art that doesn't have to look like anything in particular. I think the lowest effort is stickers, if you have the fine motor control for that. Cutting out snowflakes can be fun. Oh hey and my mom was a preschool teacher and used to make this cool fine motor thing for the kids to do: draw a big spiral on a piece of paper. With the lines spaced maybe half an inch or an inch apart - You can experiment with what you like but wider is easier. It can be a circle or an oval or a triangle whatever- shaped spiral. Then get a pair of scissors and cut along the line and when you pull that apart you have a really long snake of paper. Tape, tack, or magnet to whatever you want. It hangs down with a springy boing. Also if you didn't like how your various forays into art on paper turned out then you can make those into little snakey spirals. Yay! Just do yourself a favor and never use loose glitter. Impossible to clean up! Glitter glue or glitter crayons, maybe. Also there are glow in the dark crayons and chalk and fabric paint. So if you can't string lights, you can make something that glows anyway!!

[@tammysantana7200]

Merry Christmas 🎄 Thank you for talking about the “disability” aspect of enjoying Christmas.

[@babyshiori]

Jessica answers a cute and lovely Christmas question, about decorating and stuff. Stevie: BECOME A CHRISTMAS MADMAN AND PUT LIGHTS ON YOUR GLASSES AND CUSTOM A CHRISTMAS LIGHT HAT OR MASK THAT GOES OVER YOUR FACE!! 😎🎄😈 🫣🤣

[@beatriceotter8718]

As to the "what about presents I don't like" what you do is, you make sure that NEXT year, you both have Christmas lists! Where you each make up lists of things at various price points that you genuinely want. And then it's so much easier for both giving and receiving.

[@resourceress7]

I'm so glad that Stevie and Josie have moved to Brighton. Great for these two families to have time together.

[@kathleenanne7868]

Brighton is the gay capital of England, so there is quite a community for them...

[@resourceress7]

Well that's a bonus. I meant I'm happy these friends are able to spend more time together these days.

[@HOHNancy]

I just watched this and the video on Stevie’s channel of you both. I enjoyed all of it! Thank you both for the smile. 😊❤️

[@victoriajeanleslie3116]

I didn't imagine I would be putting together an aid wishlist for my birthday from this video 😂 Omg the flip stick would be a lifesaver, or anything that helps with my hemiplegic migraines. I'm starting a traditon this year to watch Christmas movies with my son and sister on Christmas eve, maybe order in some pizza. I love these sweet aunt spicy aunt videos , please make more!

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

The Santa debate is a tricky one. I've realised now my daughter is 4 that a) Santa is inescapable and she's had like 3 meetings with him at nursery etc already and b) she is exposed to plenty of other things that are also not real like unicorns and dragons and stuff so it's not that different 😂 The way we've chosen to do it is that Santa only brings small things in a stocking (same as when I was a kid) and other presents are from us. And we don't say anything like that he's watching her or that she won't get presents if she's naughty or whatever. We just tell her it's a fun tradition. I think if she ever asks if he's real I would just explain to her that he's not a real person but that it's a magical story that we all take part in for kids to enjoy.

[@flightlessphoenix77]

One thing I did last year, when we were both poorly with Covid on Christmas to make the place feel more festive was put one of those fireplace videos on the TV. It's so cheerful and I love the noise of cracking logs but it required zero effort.

[@elizathemermaid]

I totally agree with your point about not commenting on people's food! It's always very uncomfortable when people do

[@WhichDoctor1]

i would recommend corsets to anyone with POTs/low blood pressure issues in general. You don't need to have a fancy one with lace and ribbons. I have a latex "shapewear" one that I wear under my clothes pretty much every day. Its flexible and breathable so its comforable and I can still move around and do housework and stuff but it still totally transforms my energy and wipes away a good deal of my brain fog. Way better than compression socks ever have. I also wear them too, but the corset is the star of the show for sure

[@lizhyink5636]

Cool tip. Yeah, I had heard about back support before, as well. One thing I am still looking into as someone with circulation issues, it if there might be a recommended time limit. - Sort of like the hospital compression leg through foot pumps that are on timers, they fill with air and squeeze, then deflate in cycles. Perhaps not at the same rate, but would other parts of the body like the torso also need time on and off? Extremities might require more help getting blood moving, right?

[@Ceejayhaseyes]

Please make more of these. Your dynamic is hilarious 💜 also everyone can always use some gay aunt advice. Well except the kids in my family. They think I'm suuuuper weird. I'm the only queer and disabled person in my entire extended family.

[@marieryan2541]

Hi Jessica. I really enjoy your videos every week. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you Claudia and Rupert.

[@bossyboots5000]

Such great questions! Thanks for taking the time to do a q&a during the busy holiday time. 🙂 I agree with Stevie's approach to ask someone why they gave you the unwanted gift. Even something like "this is unexpected, what made you choose this?" Or "I wouldn't have picked this for myself, what made you think of me when you saw it?" They can be non-confrontational depending on your tone and open the door to say you appreciate the thought but it's not your cup of tea. Some people are just bad gift givers, and some people don't bother to put thought into gifts. Either way the conversation can encourage the giver to be more attentive to your interests and thoughtful next time. Re: dietary restrictions, I also think Jessica's suggestion of giving excruciating detail of gi distress is the way to get people to stop asking.

[@Ombie_Art]

Omg, this "hey strap lights on glasses and boom decorated house" reminded me that i used to accessories myself with battery powered guarlands and even use it so light around me when i can't have a big light on, and i need to do this again, i even got out on the streets wearing freaking garlands and now watching this, i will do it again, thanks

[@bossyboots5000]

This reminded me of the time a friend invited me over for a Xmas party and I showed up wearing garland with bows as a scarf. I walked in, saw everyone else was playing Serious Grownup, and discreetly took it off while removing my coat. Read the room and was like, oh, it's *that* kind of party. Fast forward a few years and a newish friend that invited me to their Xmas party opened the door wearing a sheer white windbreaker as a jacket, stuffed with decorations. So much better lol

[@writerious]

Okay, on decorating, this is my easy-peasy painless decorating tip: go to a craft store that has a good floral section and buy garlands for whatever season you're decorating for. Evergreen, holly, and "frosted" garlands for Christmas. Get some of those teeny LED lights that come on thin wires and run on batteries. Twine the lights through the garland and drape across the mantel, over bookshelves, wherever. Add some floral pics with bright red berries, maybe some little winter birds or electric candles if your budget allows. Voila!. Nearly instant decorations! The garlands cover a lot of surface area at once. Just add whatever else you feel up to.

[@mansishah6579]

I have been sick all of December, I was even hospitalized for two days, 1 week after my ER visit. I’ve been to all sorts of doctors and was in too much pain to decorate at all. But the holidays stayed magical. The night before Christmas, my sister helped me put up a tiny little Christmas tree in the family room. We didn’t do any ornaments or anything, just the tiny little tree and an oversized star on top. It has fiber optic lights and is cute and cozy in its own way. It was our first Christmas tree, so I have some memories of it from when I was a toddler. But that’s the only decoration we put up, and we had very few gifts this year since we’ve all been busy getting me to doctor appointments. The holidays aren’t sweet and magical because of the decorations or the gifts, they’re truly magical because of the togetherness and kindness we treat each other with.

[@sanyak4624]

I just got the migraine compression/ice head cover thing as an early Christmas present! It actually feels like a sensory deprivation magic!

[@alisonbarker3862]

Consideration, politeness and hospitality. If these 3 were the basis of how people with any dietary needs were treated there would be no issue. x ps Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.to all!! [Here in Australia, Christmas Day was yesterday]!

[@rosieblyther444]

I was also terrified of Santa coming into the home while we slept and begged my mom for the truth when I was 3. We have a 7 year old and what we've done with them is to talk about santa as a fairy tale and that we can pretend to put cookies out but they know santa is not real. It makes them feel included but I feel it's less traumatizing. (even if you like santa, the heartbreak of the truth later in life can be awful) I'm sure you will find a way to honor your feelings and give Rupert a fun holiday season!

[@Im-lx3qt]

You both look stunning in this video. Beautiful, bubbly, warm, friendly, wise, funny and relatable. I hope you are both doing well.

[@floopyboo]

9:00 You say thankyou, I love you. I really don't like this, but I love that you thought of me when you saw this. Then you give a big hug/kiss/affection of their preference and move on to the next gift.

[@aurajudy8487]

For people in pain, my strategy for celebrating Christmas has been choosing the bare minimum things that give me joy. For decorations I choose the tree, I have a tiny fake tree that takes around 15min to fully decorate, I can put it in a visible place in the living room and see it most part of the day. If I can't visit family, which been the case for the last 5 Christmas, making common meals as cooking wastes me and choosing special things for each day: Japanese Christmas for the 25th, meaning KFC, 12 seedless grapes the 31th, roscón de reyes the 6th. At least one turrón for the holiday season. Also taking a couple and bunny Christmas photo the 24th and having quality, relaxing time together. This things make my bare minimum Christmas joy list and have been manageable even in my worst holiday seasons.

[@chellann]

I am in love with space you filmed the opening for this year’s vlogmas!

[@KarynHill]

I live alone and if I could manage to have the energy to decorate, I have no guarantee of having the energy to take it all down. I haven't been decorating but this year, I got a small tree and I've got lights and a star on it. No ornaments, but really, it doesn't need them. In my opinion anyway, and it's my tree, so it's the only opinion that matters! I save my energy for cooking myself something I really enjoy for dinner, and if I can, baking something, even if it's only bread. But this year I'm going to make cinnamon rolls that are filled with raspberry jam instead of cinnamon and sugar. Since it's just me, I can make it when I have the energy.

[@sawyersweetart1042]

This video was exactly what I needed... especially the reminder that whatever my partner and I decide to do can be a tradition. It's hard this time of year when you want the holiday fancy but can't really match what's in your head.

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

I always love “Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt”!

[@harrieloll4476]

Love Stevie's idea for Christmas glasses that make everything look decorated 😅🎄

[@cici3147]

OMG! I was REALLY confused at Claudia's look for a second 🤣

[@jennifers5560]

Lol!

[@kaulie9657]

Oh my a double dose of the Aunties. I just watched both channels.

[@kida4star]

I wear corsets on days when I need a bit of a pick me up. Never thought of them as a fatigue aid!

[@31051982loz]

Love this new segment thingy you guys are doing

[@casperTheBird]

I LOVE stevie’s outfit omg

[@LadyElaineLovegood]

Rupert's outfit is so adorable!

[@hellomoron]

For anyone who is cooking for people with dietary restrictions, I like cooking WITH them! I have friends who are kosher and so when I made chili, I did it with them there so I knew it was safe for them and they could catch anything. Good thing we did too -- we almost had a problem with the worsteshire sauce but they caught it, and the whole thing was a ton of fun! The felt comfortable, I felt good knowing they were comfortable, it was all good! And yeah, not a solution if it's a huge family gathering with a ton of dishes, but maybe they can help you make just one dish, ya know? Help in the kitchen AND make sure you're not worried.

[@kimberlybega8271]

Yes! I love to cook so I see it as an interesting challenge. One of my aunts had a restricted diet so it took some creativity adapting things for her. I remember one family gathering where I sat down with her and was like, "So I'm thinking of making Japanese curry for dinner. How can I make it so you can eat it?"

[@mrspendleton800]

Hi, the question about being in too much pain to decorate, I discovered something this year, KZbin has great "background ambiance" video of like, cosy Christmas scenes with music, fire going etc, I love to have these on the TV while I'm reading and resting ☺️☺️☺️

[@Eco_Hiko]

Oof I feel the first one. I'm just allergic to cows. So no dairy or bovine. Eggs don't agree with me either. It's always such a bad thing this time of year. I really bonded with my friend's kid who has a dairy allergy too. So as bad as allergies can be, they can also be a bonding thing too. If it helps many children who have a dairy allergy, sometimes have a problem with gluten. It's a weird cross over. They may grow out of it and each kid has their own timeline. The previously mentioned friend's child was 4 before they could handle gluten. It's a tough road though.

[@AvaNightingale]

So those tools Stevie mentioned sound like an amazing gift! I hope she can pop them into the comments at least cause we could really use the help opening things in this household!

[@stevie]

Well I couldn’t find the tool belt that I saw! I’m wondering if I dreamt it? 🙈 But the brand is called Slice and it’s their ceramic tools!!

[@AvaNightingale]

@@stevie awesome! Thank you!!!

[@PurpleHat026]

I love having Josie and Jessica to show a little bit of how diverse English accents can be

[@laartje24]

What I do for people with more complicated dietary restrictions/needs in my family and friend group is everytime I host/cook for them I ask for a list of the things they can't eat upfront (this also makes sure I know about any recent changes). Then I can make sure there is always something they can eat within those needs/restrictions. I also allow them to bring their own food if they wish to do so. If that is what makes them more comfortable, who am I to say no? I just want them to have a good time.

[@sandichase7571]

I learned this lesson the hard way. A package came before Christmas with the contents written plainly on the outside of the box. It was something I knew was a really shoddy ripoff of a product. So I made the mistake of asking my Father for advice. "Do I tell my wife before Christmas that she's been taken in ahead of time so she can get a refund?" I listened to him. One of the biggest fights we've ever had. Incidentally, WHY do they ship packages with the contents clearly marked on the box during the holiday season?!?!

[@mins8096]

I love the list of aid we want there quite helpful. I've wanted a body braid forever.

[@mschrisfrank2420]

My Christmas tradition I created for myself is having a movie marathon (I pick a different theme every year) early in the morning until the big family get together. I drink hot chocolate and wine while I watch.

[@kohashiguchi1454]

Not related to this video, but fun anyway: I had reason to see a publicity photo from the 1933 film "Little Women." All four of the co-stars were in it, and Jessica---you look amazingly like Katherine Hepburn playing Jo. You look *very much* like yourself too, but looking like Kate Hepburn is a pretty good bonus.

[@Eli-vo1mk]

Another option, if you are in too much pain to decorate even a little bit or one room, might be to change your phone and laptop backgrounds to christmassy pictures. That way each time you open your phone you get a bit of that christmas feeling :)

[@TheRealHappyG]

I was looking forward to the links, but they weren't in the description box when I checked 😅😂

[@logo9470]

Oh me too

[@stargirl7646]

Stevie’s outfit is amazing!!

[@humanoidcat9633]

Wow, Jessica really is catching some spice! Loved the video

[@stevie]

Haha there are definitely some topics that get both of us heated! 😇😈

[@waffles3629]

I have two IceKaps and they are the absolute best for my migraine. They don't always help, but when they do it's wonderful. They were actually designed by someone with migraines, so they are very good when brain fog is through the roof, no assembling them, just pull out of freezer bag (otherwise it will have that freezer smell) and plop on head.

[@emmaeriksson7155]

On the first question: it’s also okey to just ignore the question like just be silent and keep going like nothing happened. I do that on most things that are not asked in a nice way and it works perfectly to make them uncomfortable enough not to bring it up again

[@emilymisty798]

I have barley done anything for christmas this year, since covid I haven't not even due to covid, the first year it was and then second year I thought too much effort and fuss for one day. I still buy presents and receive presents, just on the day I pretty much do the same thing I usually do and treat myself a little bit more. This year since getting covid and having lingering symptoms that have scared me from being around people, the last thing I want to do is spend it with people, I still see my partner once a week but not on christmas day.

[@spoidabetch]

it's new year's day now, and i only just put up my holiday decorations 🤣 they still brighten up my home in the dull winter weather though so i'm glad i did it once i was feeling better.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Better late than never ✨ Enjoy your lovely decorated home!

[@jennifers5560]

Concerning the bad gift giver. You should tell the person, in a nice way, why it was not a good gift for you. Otherwise you run the risk of continuing to get gifts you don’t like… My wife got red colored clothing from me for 20 years before she told me blue was actually her favorite color. (I swear that I am a good wife other than not knowing her favorite color.)

[@waffles3629]

Yeah, I had to say thank you to gifts no matter what when I was little. Which resulted in a lot of gifts I never used, wore, read, etc. A few people figured it out and straight up asked me what I liked, but some people never did. Like how is it more insulting to tell someone that a gift doesn't work for you, than to let them effectively throw away their money on something you'll never use?

[@jennifers5560]

@@waffles3629 exactly!

[@Ray-pt5bi]

My mil gives us hats and scarves every year. Fully polyester, every year. She knows I am a seamstress and related to a weaver that works with cachemere. She knows we wear basically only Natural fabrics. But She is crap at gifting. Telling her what we Need, stresses her out and She ends up giving us hats and scarves anyway at the end. We tell her not to waste the Money or even Just buy consumables if She wants to buy something. But it's hard for her. So we thank her and put/give them away.

[@jennifers5560]

@@Ray-pt5bi nothing wrong with regifting! But annoying that it is the same thing every year!

[@Raddiebaddie]

Decorating doesnt have to be a big to-do with a huge christmas tree... It could just be hanging a wreath and a stocking or having a christmas blanket/pillow you swap out on your couch. Or just streaming christmas music with a pine scentes candle

[@westzed23]

Great suggestions. I'm doing this for this year's Christmas. 🎄❤️🎄

[@iamme8406]

I have a number of food restrictions as well as a long eating disorder history. Holiday gatherings used to cause me so much stress my panic attacks would escalate to multiple times a day. It could take several months to bring my cortisol back down to pre- holiday levels of anxiety. There were so many holiday dinners where I left hungrier than I came because there was hardly any food I could eat. undereating, missing meals or having meals at odd times can all exacerbate my ED. Eventually I learned holidays are really about cherishing time with loved ones. While a lot of that centers around food, food is not the point. Now I prioritize navigating food in a way that meets my needs and allows me to focus on what matters, being good company and enjoying the company of others. I have a supply of simple staple foods I keep in my car/ always have on hand so I don't have to worry about not having access to food If I'm out and need to eat. Sure my supplement shake isn't very exciting, but at least I'm getting the nutrition need. I can use these foods to round out a meal, if for example I can eat the side, but not the main. if its a potluck then I can share a yummy safe-for-me dish with everyone. If the meal is too early/ late for me ill eat when I need to, even if it means I sit without food and engage in conversation while they eat. People don't really care when/what/how I eat as long as I'm taking care of my needs, they can still do what they need/want, and we're all having a good time. If anyone asks or comments about my eatting, its usually coming from a place of genuine concern or curiosity. I find it best to casually respond with something short, simple and honest, then flip the conversation by asking them an unrelated question, or transitioning away from them.

[@tessiagriffith9555]

My favorite family tradition (we did not do Santa/Father Christmas because my family doesn’t believe in lying to children even as a fun tradition) instead my dad (who was my stay at home parent) would wrap the presents in a closed room and when he was done with one he would yell ho ho ho and slide it down the hallway and we would all race as fast as we could to see whose present it was!

[@jenellegast8547]

Thank you so much about talking about diet. I tend to not eat when I am out because of my allergies. I hate the thousands of questions

[@jodiewilcox6772]

Regarding confrontations about one's dietary restrictions, I would approach it as follows: 1st time - explain nicely, with simple explanations; 2nd time - use phrasing "Remember, we had this discussion before..." and maybe not use a smile to keep the discussion more short and pointed; 3rd time (I liken this stage to baseball- 3 strikes you are out!) - tell them bluntly "I know my body best, so no discussion is necessary". I have some intestinal issues, but nothing obvious to others, thankfully. Folks need to learn boundaries, on many fronts. Your life, your rules!

[@InvisiblerApple]

Lactose intolerance & IBS thankfully run in my family, but for work lunches I just remind them of my frequent bathroom trips. In my case it's easy to deal with though, since I'm willing to talk about pretty much anything. Don't ask for I will answer.

[@kimberlybega8271]

At one of my previous churches we had a priest with a few dietary restrictions. When we got the letter that we were getting a new priest, along with her letter introducing herself there was an attachment explaining her dietary needs and giving examples of foods she could have to plan ahead for any church gatherings involving food. She also would usually make something to bring herself so she knew there would be at least one thing there she could eat. I do remember one picnic where people had put signs by a couple dishes saying, "Mother _____ friendly," which I thought was kind of sweet. Also I think sometimes people who don't have to have the special diet wrinkle their noses if they see something labeled, "gluten free," "vegan," etc., but if you give things a chance, a lot of it tastes delicious! I have a few relatives who are vegans and are also terrific cooks. 😊

[@tarynthroughpages]

I have absolutely depended on those ice helmets to function with headaches. The are so good

[@lynn858]

My parents, brother and I switched to Christmas lasagna after Grandma passed. It didn't make any sense to fuss over making a "traditional meal" that none of us particularly enjoyed - when lasagna is something we all look forward to.

[@waffles3629]

Yeah, like why does Christmas food have to be so particular? Eating food you like seems more in the spirit of Christmas anyway.

[@quintecence]

The dietary requirements thing - I'm very lactose intolerant and have acid reflux, my partner is allergic to a lot of things so between the 2 of us, we get catty when people ask us about things we're not eating. (We're nice to people who are respectful and just don't know about it)

[@Ishanaroya]

I love my youtube aunts!

[@artifex_amandalastname2297]

I saw a tip to bring a “sponsor” to a party - set up someone beforehand to speak up for you about what you can’t eat/drink/do

[@williamswindler105]

Me watching a video on weird Swedish Christmas traditions and then watching this and seeing the Ljusstake/Adventsstake/Julstake in the background, lol.

[@FearsomeSheep]

Short and sweet answers for dietary restrictions: either "I don't like it" or "It doesn't like me". Nothing anyone can say will change those. You can't change your tastebuds, and besides, there's so many foods you DO like why would you bother working hard to try and eat something you DON'T like? And if it doesn't like you? (ie; allergy, intolerance, just gives you bad acid reflux...) again, it's not like you can change how your body reacts to it. Plus it's always fun if someone does go off on one to just let them say whatever they want then respond with "yeah but I still don't like it". 🤷‍♀️

[@JennaGetsCreative]

I know far too many people who will continue to complain if your answer is "I don't like it." I have one true good allergy and a bunch of IBS intolerances and then autistic sensory fun "nope" foods because of texture issues. I can honestly say there's only one food I don't like because of the flavour alone. If I try to explain intolerances, they don't take it seriously. If I try to explain the texture issues, they say I'm just being picky. (My inlaws in particular love to tell new people that I'm such a picky eater.) So it's all allergies. It all doesn't like me. They don't argue that.

[@tiredgoblinboi]

Pull stuffing out of turkey after cooking, before serving put pride flag in ziploc bag up in the turkey. Go "hang on everyone! I think there's something in the turkey still!" reach in so you grab the flag in the ziploc and pull it out for showmanship. Tada! Festive announcement!

[@bossyboots5000]

I think you just won Gay Christmas lol

[@stevie]

Yessssss this is genius!

[@emmymorris7648]

Yes, that first question when you have dietary restrictions is a sore spot for me too, Jessica! I have found that when I have said “no, thank you” to Turkey three times and an uncle is still trying to pass me some that just saying “no, thank you. I cannot have that as it is a HUGE migraine trigger for me, and I want to enjoy the rest of my evening here with all of you instead of being curled up in bed with a migraine for three days but thanks anyway. Oh, I think my dad would like some more turkey, though.” is a good way to let them know that I can’t have it and then shift the conversation on. It’s a strategy my parents and I worked out in advance and really helped with a couple pushover relatives tho at thought being a “good host” meant that everyone’s plates had to have EVERYTHING on them! We would also bring our own bread, sides and pie or cookies that I knew I COULD eat. I would also find the two things my uncle made that I could safely eat and then I would have some of that side dish and one of those cookies at the end of the meal and usually throw in some thing about how delicious some thing they did cook that I can eat is and how much I’m enjoying it and how much I am enjoying being there with them and seeing their grandkids enjoy the presents and the tree and everything. That usually got the conversation off of what I couldn’t eat and onto what I was enjoying and how nice it was to have the family together and how sweet their grandkids were and how beautiful the tree looked, and that really helped move the conversation along a lot faster and a lot smoother so it was easier on myself and those around me :) I also stopped letting certain people make me uncomfortable by asking too many questions that I wasn’t comfortable discussing with them and learned boundaries and did not apologize for what I was or was not comfortable sharing with them and if they wanted more info about my health than I felt comfortable giving then that was their problem and not mine because I was there to enjoy family time at Christmas and refused to be boxed into a corner about certain health matters I preferred to keep more private. And realizing I didn’t have to apologize for that was a HIGE turning point for me! Boundaries are AWESOME!! :) And good on you, Jessica, for protecting your child and yourself and making sure only people interested in helping keep Rupert safe are invited for Christmas! I’m sorry that’s necessary sometimes, but seriously that is a BRILLIANT parenting move and will help continue to show Rupert how safe and well-loved he is by his loving and protective mothers! Great job! 👏🏻👏🏻 Merry Christmas! ❤️❤️

[@JennaGetsCreative]

Someone else who can't eat turkey! OMG I thought the ladies of my family and I were just uniquely weird! I've managed to marry into a family that uses absolutely any holiday or birthday (or good deal at the grocery store) as an excuse to cook a turkey and my husband just does not understand why I hate celebratory meals with his family...

[@emmymorris7648]

Sorry I just now saw your reply and hope your holidays went well and you could avoid the dreaded turkey, Jenna! 🎄🎄 Another thing I found helpful was knowing this relative HATED X food and another relative HATED Y food. It was not a dietary restriction but a distinct preference that they expected others to respect them and their choices not to eat something they could not stand! So, once I pointed out that for me trying to eat turkey was something I’d always had a problem with texture wise, even before I was diagnosed with my first chronic pain disease at 11 and thrown into the deep end of food journals and food triggers etc, and now that I know is a HUGE Migraine trigger it’s doubly important to stay away from it or X, Y, Z happens really helped some extended family grasp the basic concept a bit better. I could point to oysters for one person or Ranch or Bleu Cheese dressing for another and see the look of revulsion on their face. Then when I linked the taste of a ig turkey at the holidays to being like oysters for that one person who couldn’t stand oysters, it kind of set the stage for a slightly more open-minded discussion because we were starting from a common ground of foods we hated for this reason or that reason and then I’d add on the medical reasons that turkey etc did not work for me and point how important it was to respect people’s food choices. So, if I didn’t make them try to take a plate of oysters when I knew they HATED oysters why would they try to make me accept turkey after I’ve said, “No, thank you.” three times and then explained the medical side and how I would be the one in bed for three days with a Migraine and dealing with the consequences if I didn’t listen to my body’s warning signs and tried to eat something that I already know is a Migtaine trigger for me. Once I got them to see that being a good host included letting your guests eat what worked for them and skip what didn’t WITHOUT pressing them on it or judging or making snide comments as a “joke” and just kept to my boundaries to make the fall out from extra pain and fatigue at the holidays to a minimum and turned the conversation onto what I COULD eat that they’d made and how DELICIOUS it was and how adorable their grandkids were, things that I already wanted to talk about anyway, it just went much smoother. I think part of it was a generational thing because their parents taught them to accept graciiisly whatever was offered etc and then they’d worry of someone didn’t have something on their plate that they’d been remiss as the hosts and then want to fill up the empty spots on my plate. They thought giving me more food was a good thing, and it took a few conversations to point out why that wasn’t always the best thing to do and that just respecting and believing people when they say they can’t eat this or that due to allergies or Migraine triggers actually made them better hosts. I do think people also want to know all their hard work to decorate, cook and host is paying off and worth it. So, I’ve found that giving them genuine compliments on my aunt’s amazing decorating, their joint cooking efforts and my uncle being the baker that did multiple desserts so they know that their hard work IS appreciated even if I can’t eat the turkey etc made a big difference in how those later conversations went. 😃😃 Plus, I wasn’t a kid anymore but already in my 20’s and knew my body, diseases and food triggers better and NO WAY was I going to let ANYONE dictate to me what I “should” and “should not” be eating! 🙄🙄 I knew my boundaries, too, and I knew to just walk away if someone wasn’t listening to me because my energy was more important. But seriously finding a food that I knew certain family members couldn’t eat for whatever reason and linking that to my not being able to eat the turkey was a GREAT way to link some similarities in their minds and get them to be way more open. I’ve rarely met anyone who doesn’t have at least ONE food that they absolutely cannot stand! So, when I link my reaction to the turkey taste and texture being similar to how they are with oysters etc, it gave us a great foundation to build on! 👍🏻👍🏻 I really hope your husband comes around to being more understanding of you and your family not eating turkey. I get that turkey is a big family tradition and happy memory for many, but for me, I try to focus on what I can eat and making memories with extended family as that’s the important part anyway. Hope you had a great holiday season and New Year and that 2023 is being kind to you and your family! ☀️☀️

[@cathypearson5844]

You know you live with a condition when you are excited by velcro ice packs! Yes please, still recovering from a fall a few days ago!

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

it's really interesting to hear that corsets actually help with your health, considering the stereotype that they're uncomfortable and make people faint (i knew that was false and you could wear it in a safe way, just never thought there'd be benefits like that)

[@stiras1]

Jessica... why is your hair so perfect?!!!

[@neyisek6928]

Name/link for safety cutting tools? I don't see it listed in description. Thank you