Commitment and Connection in Open Relationships: building trust and intimacy in non-monogamy

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Are open relationships sustainable in the long term? Let us know 👇🏼

[@jubadiju]

I adore the freedom. And i don't mean freedom from committment, or care, or responsibility. I mean freedom to explore and become different versions of yourself that awaken with different people/relationships. There is so much more to loving, and being love, that has got nothing to do with the boxes we put different relationships in.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Beautifully said-true freedom in love is about growth, exploration, and embracing the limitless ways we can connect and evolve with others. ❤

[@gw6482]

I never miss the open relationships episodes! I am in one, and even though I think my relationship is strong, I always enjoy listening to the tips to make it even stronger. There’s so much to reflect about this, so thank you very much. I just wanted to emphasise what was mentioned about extra communication, it’s so important to be honest about this with our partners, and to always rethink the rules when it’s necessary! Excellent, guys xoxo

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you so much for tuning into every episode-it means a lot! We're glad the tips resonate with you and help strengthen what sounds like a solid relationship. Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation; it really adds depth to the topic. Xoxo right back! ❤

[@WellismoCoaching]

Thanks

[@toadstooltarot]

I am coming at this from the opposite end. I am not in a relationship looking to open up. I am meeting various men in hookups, where repeat meetings are starting to develop into greater intimacy with each renewed meeting. There is never a guarantee that they will return and I need to feel anchored in myself and my own being that I am enough and appreciate or enjoy further the greater opportunities as they come to get to know each of them better and I appreciate when they return in knowing they wanted to be with me enough to return, than holding expectations in a relationship that they can't leave me or pursue what they need because of my jealousy. I am coming to feel gratefulness in their desire to return to me and appreciate what that means within bounds and limitations. It brings a voluntary joy of giving and receiving than an expectation of presents to always be there. Of course, this is all new to me, and I may just be encountering a transition from random hookups to potential friends with benefits, to possibly even a newly defined or new definition of a relationship. The voyage is new and exciting at this stage to see where it might go.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing your journey-it's inspiring to hear how you're finding joy and self-assurance in each connection, embracing what comes without expectation. Enjoy the voyage!🥰

[@WellismoCoaching]

Love this! That “anchored in myself” vibe is spot on- there is so much wisdom in enjoying each connection for what it is, rather than what it should be. That shift from expectations to appreciation sounds liberating, and it sounds like you’re embracing it beautifully. This path from hookups to something more meaningful (whatever that may look like) is exciting territory! I've you've listened to any of my more personal episodes about relationships, you'll know that defining relationships on your own terms, and balancing independence with intimacy is very much aligned for me as well.

[@KeeganHayden]

I've recently discovered your videos / podcasts and I appreciate the range of topics that you cover. I found it interesting that you describe the stigma that people in open relationships experience; is it primarily coming from people outside the queer community, or within? As someone in an exclusive gay relationship, I find that that other gay men can be dismissive of the viability of monogamy and see it as old-fashioned and heteronormative. In many moons from now if my partner brought up a curiosity about exploring sex with other men, I'd consider it, and might be open to it, but right now I don't think it is something I'd agree to. I recognise that a romantic partnership involves more than just sex, but to be frank, having sex is a primary difference between that relationship and others. I haven't seen all of your videos yet, but am curious as to whether you have created one about monogamy and how to do that over the long term. Thanks for an interesting video, and I look forward to many more.

[@WellismoCoaching]

Thank you so much for tuning in! The stigma around relationship styles can definitely come from both inside and outside the LGBTQ community, and you nailed it: some folks within the community do see monogamy as “old-fashioned.” It’s a complex topic, and that's why I love exploring it! I appreciate that you’re open to exploring what works best for you and your partner while honouring where you’re at right now. I haven’t done a full video on long-term monogamy yet, but I would say a lot of the same tips apply regardless of the style: communication, emotional intimacy, trust, and so forth. Stay tuned-this could be a great topic to dive deeper into!

[@Krishicher]

I would guess that a person who is looking for a relationship (not just sex) would find that openness with a third is only fair. He’s got to be okay with this as a proposal and must know up front that there is an existing partner. If it’s not relationship driven then one might disclose or not.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thanks for sharing your perspective-honesty upfront really does set the foundation, especially when it comes to balancing multiple connections.🥰

[@GoldenThreadSeer]

i’ve only been in one relationship way back in 2015, and even then it was toxic and very brief, so it feels a bit hopeless at times, like who is going to take a chance on me 😅 grew up seeing relationships going in all the wrong directions, so learned a lot by osmosis, but there’s no replacing what it feels like to be in the moment. not sure if i’m open or mono or anything really, but trying to learn as much as i can until i find that guy or guys. haha

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thanks for sharing this-it sounds like you're on a really thoughtful journey, and trust us, someone out there is definitely going to appreciate everything you bring to the table! 😄 Hang in there; the right connection is worth the wait.😉

[@gdStPete]

Hmm... I'm early 70s. I think over time men need a deeper, non-sexual connection that can be enhanced by selective sex with others. I'm surprised thru this I never heard the word LOVE mentioned. I heard your comments that sex is, and yes can be play, but I think you skimmed over the deeper loving EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS and longing that can occur with having one main sex partner, and then perhaps occasionally emphasizing for fun/play sex may occur with others.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing this-it’s a beautiful reminder of how love and deeper emotional connections can truly enrich intimacy in ways that go beyond just play.

[@WellismoCoaching]

Thanks for the comment Greg, I always appreciate your insights. While we touched on the playful side of sex, there’s definitely room to dive deeper into how love and emotional connection shape those dynamics. It’s such a rich topic, especially for those who find joy in both committed partnership and selective play with others.

[@songsforsale427]

How could you possibly have an adult conversation about this topic without mentioning STI's?

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for pointing that out-it’s a valid critique. STIs are definitely an important part of the conversation, and it’s something we’ll make sure to address in future discussions. Appreciate you bringing it up!

[@EdwardFoster-k8i]

Don’t ask don’t tell

[@EdwardFoster-k8i]

You are both speaking on an intellectual level. Not on a human level. 49 years in my own commented relationship. No one is capable of what you are promoting. Why not simply date with no commitment at all.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! Your experience speaks volumes, and dating without commitment can truly work for many. We aim to offer ideas that encourage reflection, but it’s all about what feels right for each person. We appreciate your insight!🙂

[@WellismoCoaching]

Everyone’s got their own path, and no single approach fits all. Appreciate you adding this seasoned viewpoint to the conversation-it’s valuable to hear from someone with real-life, long-term experience. But to say "no one is capable...." makes me laugh. That's a huge generalization and is patently false as I have seen several examples of long-term relationships that are consensually non-monogamous.