Complex PTSD and Anger: Why am I So Angry?

Childhood Trauma: Why am I so Angry?
#cptsd #anger #mentalhealth #childhoodtrauma #spiritualgrowth #complextrauma
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KARUNA has completed in-depth studies with the world's finest meditation masters and spiritual teachers. She holds undergraduate and advanced degrees and she shares from deeply personal experience: Her extensive knowledge and training as well as her personal experience of healing at emotional, physical and spiritual levels has guided her to successfully mentor clients in the process of transformation for years. She offers workshops and in-depth trainings as well as individual sessions. She is not a licensed therapist.
• 2018 Wellness Expert with Aromatherapy Associates, London
• 2020 Wellness Mentor with the Irish Spa Association
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[@battlehymnoftheempath3610]

The anger in me is chronic- I am angry at my "caretakers", I am angry at the people that never stepped in, I am angry at the people that pretend now that nothing happened. I am angry at people that have safe parents that would die for them. I am angry af myself for betraying me, I am angry at the world for not c0ndemming narcissism. I am angry that they are still alive and spreading their darkness. I am angry that this cycle will continue forever and I am angry that the world thinks I'm crazy for being so angry. I am angry because I deserved better. I am angry at my mind for holding onto this and yet I would be angry if I let this go as well.

[@harshkum]

i was about to write, exactly the same what you written.

[@girlalongwayfromhome]

😭

[@LM-ec8nf]

People at work would talk about me behind my back, and nicknamed me "Crazy" I think.... never really found out what was said. But a couple people actually had the nerve to call me crazy to my face.... not knowing that I was struggling every minute of every day in a abusive romantic relationship. It was a re-creation of my father's Narcissistic abuse on me as a child. Of course, my toxic relationship distracted and detracted from everything else, and affected my work, concentration, focus, and everything else. I even fell for another Narc at work after finally leaving the first one... after only one date he continued to slander me at work for over a year! Everyone thought I was a horrible person, but they never even talked to me, they just talked about me. When they found out I was abused, no compassion or kindness... only fuel for their fire of hate because I was vulnerable. That workplace was just as toxic (or more) than my abusive boyfriend. Horrible, evil people.... I hope there's Karma and Justice. I did leave that job 2 years ago and have financially struggled ever since... Oh, and had to move back in with my parents, including my mean asshole abusive dad!

[@battlehymnoftheempath3610]

@@LM-ec8nf with your permission, I would like to make a video about this.

[@LM-ec8nf]

@@battlehymnoftheempath3610 I'm not sure... What were you thinking for the video, and how long for the run time?

[@Pancakes4dindin]

Oh man. Rage seems like my main emotion these days.

[@dakotahayes308]

Same here, your not alone ❤️

[@gracenotme671]

Relatable

[@Carmensandiego2001]

Same. It feels gross after you’re done raging.

[@unokay8862]

@@Carmensandiego2001 yes you don’t even feel like your the same because it’s not like you want to be that way it’s good to see your not alone ya know how do you cope

[@unokay8862]

@@boncha4 how do you cope and what do you think helps you

[@dakotahayes308]

I am angry that I am the one who has to do all of the healing.

[@francestaylor9156]

Better that you heal than never. It’s worth trying at least.

[@msenlightened]

I hear you and I have spent so many many years "healing". It hasn't mattered much in the end.

[@ericadunn9435]

my PTSD was diagnosed at 17. I've self managed it for 20+ years. No one understands why you're still defensive and angry as a result of something that happened years ago; even though they listen and nod, their body language is "let it go - you're crazy". Trying to explain that it's instinctive not rational just gets nothing from them. How nice that your trauma didn't cause anxiety, depression, anger and all sorts of other psychosomatic issues that you grapple with daily.

[@kindwordsandgentlethoughts]

I'm 16 and i relate to this a lot...have you found anything that helps with the anger and irritablity? i snap at people a lot and i hate it

[@areuarealman7269]

Yeah f it I'm mad 24 /7 @ no one cares until some fool triggers me @ boom in trouble some big dude crying @ people screaming your crazy .It's normal just stay out of trouble and pick fights with bigger people when you can if you need a release ...I don't condone violence but it does make you feel better .

[@dirk1998]

Same here, I try to tell my family but I'm just met with the same response of "just let it go," you can't and you don't. It's highly stressful, I can't blame those that hurt me I realise that, some of them even changed and I'm glad for them, I forgive them now but it's the past that keeps coming back over and over. I wish I could let go and hopefully one day I will.

[@AbianahAlmeida]

Being sexually abused and raped for 17 years, emotionally abused and neglected at home and severely bullied at school then entering multiple physically sexually and emotionally abusive relationships and then hearing people tell me to get over it pisses me off even more. I’m only 21 btw🤦🏽‍♀️

[@BlackCoffeeee]

I hate that I feel so much hate for everyone and everything. As I get older, the hate gets worse, not better. I have cptsd and can't afford therapy since my business collapsed during lockdown. Videos like this are a major help and a lifeline. Thank you.

[@sammihebert6493]

I hope it gets better for you, it’s getting worse for me as I get older also

[@Polymath9000]

Same here I am 31 and planning to move to a small town as soon as possible with as little human interaction possible.Large crowds, overcrowded city,traffic and gaslighting and rude people make me triggered.Rage of uncontrollable proportions is getting better of me.This world can go to hell.

[@Polymath9000]

I see no future as husband or working but that being said what little I had I invested.Coming to point CPTSD also makes you use the most of your resources even when being unemployed.Any ways being outdoors and practicing Archery calms me down a lot.

[@kathleenreis1991]

Having Complex PTSD has nearly destroyed my life. The childhood anger can go off at the Simplest thing with no warning at all. I have to be mindful. Stress, to much action, mindless talking, not agreeing, everything hits at one time and all the sudden, the person closest to me gets bombarded with my anger. I mean I get pissed off and I can't stop it. I'm out of control. Then I feel guilt, shame, embarrassment. Then I have to apologize for things I said I didn't even realize I was actually saying. I turn into a different person. I have hurt so many others with my misdirected anger. I was a child screaming for love and recognition. To be heard. I was not. I've been working on my issues for decades. I'm 62 years old, and the tramatozed child within me still erupts. I have to be very careful about the people I'm around. Take a breath, walk away. As I write this, I've experienced 2 days of misdirected anger. I felt the loss of control. I'm just an angry version of a really nice person who looses it because I lacked the Simplest thing. Love, respect, protection.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Ask to be healed by Christ. He healed me from complex ptsd. Eat healthy exercise pray see life in spiritual way. Read the word of God.U ll be a more complete person when u learn from this and recover and put it behind

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

@thesimplegospel3529 yes I do. I go for confession as well and take holy communion regularly. I pray at least once a day, only for a few minutes asking God to heal me from whatever is necessary( anger, criticism, hateful thoughts etc

[@tugbs]

You sound just like me...

[@jazzchristineart]

I know exactly where it comes from. I know as much as I can. I have worked on this all my life . I have done yoga and meditate every day. I am 60 and I have to say I Am still angry. I do not behave badly anymore and I know where it comes from. But it is still there. My dear heart wants recognition is so profound. Thank you. My anger makes me cry.

[@hollydarragh-hickey5563]

I'm so angry I've wasted almost 2 decades of my life suppressing my trauma. The worst thing is I denied I had anger problems all that time. Just thought I was a feisty and a strong woman..I only realized how abnormal my fury was-19 years later! Can't believe I missed that! That whole inferno erupting inside me you talked about really resonated with me. I even get that when someone won't move over in the street! It's like I see everyone as out to get me and trying and take my rights from me (like what happened in my past). I know logically it's not anywhere near the same as before but my body reacts so quickly and automatically, as if that person were a real threat. Anger is my dominant and default emotion I think- well that and fear. I can't experience the sadness or grief I need to to properly let go my trauma. That scares me I can't cry about the horrors I've suffered.

[@heavenfxeyesforsale]

Lol i thot i was the only one who spent 2 decades. Sure felt like thaf. So morose about it. Thank you for sharing and godspeed!

[@lunanelson3009]

I have to mask it or im this evil psycho by my loved ones

[@lorimiller4301]

The book Primal Scream by Arthur Janov was very helpful to me for getting in touch with my trauma.

[@lauriejean9306]

I so relate to the grief of decades of having to live in denial just to survive. Heart with you!

[@StainedTenko]

@@lunanelson3009 i feel you

[@ShunguRocks]

Yesterday I had an anger episode. Something about seeing my mother and older brother triggered the episode and it didn’t end well. I had a fight with my brother and I was physically injured. I really needed this right now. The truth is you took the words out of my mind, I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be seen and and I wanted to be protected. Most of all I felt marginalised because my brothers would bully me and they wouldn’t get into trouble. When I was about 8, I had what was probably my first anger episode and I broke the house phone in frustration. I had been frantically trying to call my mother at her work and my brothers would let me dial and then push the hang up button. That night I was beaten by my father in front of everyone & sent to bed. My first taste of injustice, that elephant skin belt. He never tried to hear me or my story. Fast forward, I am 33 & recently discovered that my mother and brother have been the source of a lot of my pain lately. Seeing them made me blackout in anger I guess. I didn’t even think I had cptsd until today. Thank You for ur vid

[@HubfortheHeart]

It's a tragedy, really, when an "adult" is so out of touch, so in denial, so far from their Self, that s/he cannot listen to and see the inherent beauty of a child. The adult then further blames the child for expressing anger! Wow. That dear child is then left carrying the burden of utter hopelessness & futility, pent up anger or depression and/or varied coping mechanisms. You're untying these knots. Well done. And once you see it clearly, you don't unsee it: Integration and healing await. Sending massive support.

[@ShunguRocks]

Complex PTSD Made Simple thank you for your channel and your words. Now that I know, I feel like there is a brighter future. I have to work on it. Your videos are helping. Sending love and thanks from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼.

[@sabbathpriest3755]

Hey man I relate to how you feel as my mother is also the cause of most of my trauma. Hope you’re doing better and much love from the United States 🇺🇸❤️.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Get them out of your life. You deserve better

[@tyleroz768]

@@HubfortheHeart what can i do for ptsd is there medication to take for it or is my only option to see a ptsd specialist? cause im booking an appointment later today but id like any info you may have on how i can get the help i need im not sure its my childhood but i have anxiety an i think i also dissociate but lately with my body ive been in so much pain if someone upsets me greatly ill black out an just start swinging i dont wanna be this angry i wasnt always this angry an do to me blacking out an fighting a cousin i hurt him badly im pretty sure i had ptsd before this from my last ex i have legit flash backs of bad stuff but now i feel like i greatly added to it so im wondering is there any meds i can take treatments any info you might have about me controlling my anger id be really grateful im scared i will snap an hurt someone i dont wanna kill anyone because i blacked out but im scared i couldnt control myself once he found a really bad trigger of mine an when i calmed down an realized what happened i felt so bad so please any help would be grateful i dont wanna hurt anyone im gonna try my best to hide in my room till i can get helped idealy fixed but at the least i need to not blackout in rage im so scared ill do something worse next time so i need to stay away from everyone possible till i get this under control sorry for long message i really could use any help u have to offer

[@summerhaze5531]

I have been so angry. It started with me standing up for myself and cutting people off and then the anger built up and I exploded on a dear loved one. Someone I never want to hurt. Now I wanna sink and protect myself. I dont want to hurt anyone especially those I love the most. I am not giving up but I definetely feel that weary tired feeling alot lately.

[@ibelieveinyouyourmagicisreal]

Its so hard to stand up for yourself after years of not doing so I too feel so angry and I don't really know and it feels like i am supposed to release it in some way.

[@JohnnyBoy7894]

This is one of my worst fears and is part of the reason I'm terrified of dating. Shit that should scare doesn't and shit does scare me shouldn't.

[@_kumul]

I felt this deep in my core, summer haze... I just went through that yesterday and am feeling the heaviness, or what my partner (who was on the receiving end of my outburst unfortunately) called emotional whiplash, of it. Just as she said, it was a moment where I couldn't step back. My rage was moving faster than I could even begin to process where it was coming from. Thought it was something else that was bothering me, but It didn't add up. After walking and being with my feelings, I explained where it came from. Now, we are trying to move forward. Today is a new day, and all we can try to do is forgive ourselves, show love to our inner child a little more, and determine to redirect if similar feelings arise now that we're aware of the root. I hope this is helpful and that you're showing yourself some tenderness after moments like that. I feel like it's so easy for us to guilt ourselves, which normally doesn't work. Just makes us want to suppress the feelings rather than seeing them through. Sending you all so much love and healing energy. p.s. sorry, I'm like... a year or two late on this.

[@begunthisfeelingandaninsti1853]

That sounds just like what i am dealing with... I actually have dealt with all sorts of psychological problems on my own and successfully overcome most of them including emotional dissociation from feelings... I am struggling with the remaining anger, i have dealt with all the other problems via dissecting it and understanding the feelings, situations and so on... My reactions build up explosively in an effort to immediately shut down the "threat" the feeling of everyone around me being hostile is very oftentimes present and i see it as the core trigger fuel for the actual trigger

[@lisamaria8760]

I came across this video after searching for answers about why I wake up feeling angry &/or agitated most days. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD after prolonged childhood trauma, and again as an adult. My greatest wish atm is that one day I can wake up happy and not have to trick my brain into it.. Depression is exhausting. Recovery is exhausting. Feeling weighed down by heavy energy is exhausting. I'm a fighter though and I will never give up!

[@Jeannie70]

That's exactly how I found this vid. I hate everything and everyone the sec I wake up in the morning. And its always been this way I am 52 and sick of it. Taking care of my mom with dementia alone .. need peace and happy in my life.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

I know you might not believe it, but Jesus saved me from depression and anxiety. I feel for u bc I was the same. I now wake up happy at last, there is finally meaning. And this world is not shat we see. There is hope. God bless you all. People r imperfect but the perfect God is our father and when we accept Him( bc He s given us free will, He does not want to impose), He heals us. Surrender to Him and your life will change

[@apseudonym]

I realise now that I have rage issues. I thought I had gotten rid of them years ago. but when you're traumatised you never really get rid of how you feel, you just learn to cope in different ways. some days are better than others.

[@Aegis287]

When Bruce said "I'm always angry" I felt that.

[@retrovelcro]

The very existence and nature of this video makes me feel seen and acknowledged. Thank you.

[@oliviarenae3326]

I was diagnosed with Dissociative PTSD in 2019 along with anxiety and depression, began seeing a Therapist and took a year to do deep trauma healing & getting back to a functional state. It took me a really long time to understand I was angry. My whole life I’ve seen myself as a kind compassionate person and I didn’t allow myself to express my anger in a healthy way, I used to bottle up my emotions and have outbursts. This video spoke straight to me heart. When you mentioned how after an outbursts we often feel heavy guilt and shame for our behavior it resonated so much I always feel such intense shame afterwards and often am very disappointed in myself which often turns into lethargy. I found that watching videos like this helps me feel more empowered in my ability to notice my triggers and direct my energy/behavior in a appropriate way. I loved how you broke everything down and I could feel your gentleness and understanding through the screen. New subscriber 💖🌷

[@raphaellavelasquez8144]

I've never had a problem with denial. I have a big problem with the denial of society in general.

[@aliveandawake9093]

I didn't find your channel by accident. Restoration here I come. God bless you❤️

[@Kaylajoelle17]

Me too! 😭❤️Hope you are doing a lot better !!

[@mazzystar9488]

I like the metaphor of the trauma in a family being a virus. Thank you for sharing these insights, love your channel.

[@jlk-godsdesign]

I'm out of denial --- yet I still may not acknowledge how toxic my youth was. So much verbal and emotional abuse ... so much fighting for acceptance and scolding and wrong put on my being. Shame. Out of balance masculine/feminine dynamics which have imbedded in me ... I know I minimize my suffering a bit ... but its just still so difficult to touch and witness my own experience. Lots of black outs in time. Many vivid moments but their mostly negative memories. Minimal recollection of happy times or at least they dont come up often. Recycled trauma year after year, story after repeated story ... my inner child work has been on pause for a very long time and my adult self is still trapped because of it. I am blessed to have found this channel because whereas I am not professionally diagnosed with CPTSD ... this makes sense and provides me safety to know that what I feel is real and not wrong. Ive been doing much spiritual self'development work since about 2018, but this peice, my anger, has been such an obstacle ... its beginning to come out in my relationship with my dear partner and he is the most deserving of my heartfelt compassion and love ... I am excited to make this shift. Thank you. I am subscribed and will be watching on ....

[@melindaworkman7481]

I found this by chance, trying to find someone who can help me understand what I feel. I am crying so hard right now because you are the first person in my 38 years to tell me exactly what is going on, and make it make sense. My anger is awful, and I have tried for many years to figure it out, with no results other than more frustration and anger. So, thank you.

[@Sy2023hk]

Anger has ruled my life for a couple of years so far, it's overwhelming, over reactive, confusing and exhausting. Give yourself time compassion and forgiveness to heal. It takes time, but try to stay connected to people and do what you can to regulate your emotions to stave off chronic loneliness - one of the worst effects of cptsd.

[@fts_space_shark]

What if it’s not just your parent? What if it was your parent at home, but you were tormented every single day at school, too? Why does the therapeutic community totally ignore the long term effects of being harassed by school mates? We stop worrying about bullying when a person survives K-12 education and then forget all about the impact of the way you are treated at school. Imagine experiencing this during every waking moment, at school and then at home. We need attention on that. Why is this completely dismissed and ignored??

[@AmyKraim-ll2cy]

Cause they are limited to their knowledge. They don't understand shit past a certain point if they did not experience or witness it. Find yourself a good doctor to help you, but know you have no other choice than to rise above the shit that happened, cause they are all little craps, and you belong to brightness. Ok bye.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

I don't know why this happens, but every day you go from an abusive home environment into a fearful and threatening school environment - yet the school environment is just not discussed. And it's all happening in your formative years too. No safe place to be. Maybe there's just no interest or enough research into this? Who knows ...

[@lilychisholm4677]

this was so reassuring. I’m so angry all of the time, the only thing that helped me was martial arts, but I broke my rib recently and I’ve been so busy that I can’t do that right now, so it’s just been building up. I try not to ever yell or anything but I get really snappy with people sometimes and I feel like shit. I was ignored a lot as a kid and went through some trauma and now I’m just so mad all the time. the way you described the trigger felt so accurate. just the way someone looks at you and suddenly you’re dealing with waves of anger and you can’t think straight.

[@briggs1420]

Was raised by a covert narc, didn't know this until 2 years ago and I am 44, met someone I was serious about and tried to move on into a life with her and lost my whole family over it, I have been trying to deal with it but struggling with trust and anger issues and the fact that the people I thought loved me unconditionally abandoned me is tough. I am so confused on how to deal with this, I am certain this will destroy the relationship I have if I can't find a healthy way of dealing with it.

[@melaniebacca2081]

Wow, I think this is the source of my triggers! I had never considered the ‘not being seen’ issue. When my parents would physically fight, I would have no one to notice or protect me. In fact, I would run out into the driveway yelling that my dad was killing my mom, and no one ever came to help. I was less than 5 years old when this was going on! These days, when I feel disrespected or not seen, I can easily fly off the handle in a burst of anger. Maybe I’ll be better at catching it before it escapes next time. Thank you.

[@areuarealman7269]

I'm sorry that's funny 2 me cuz when my 2nd mom almost hmmm I can't say but I wasn't sad she was getting beat up quite the opposite yeah I've been sick since elementary fun xs .But got the right diagnosis after 10 fing ING years just took 10 years and they are like you didn't like psychiatrist? No shit Sherlock.

[@stephentreanor5044]

I feel so fucking angry at the moment! I was raped and so badly abused as a child it’s unbelievable and my anger just goes off so fucking much!!!

[@stephentreanor5044]

And now I’m feeling so fucking sad as fuck after listening to this because underneath my anger is a lot of hurt, pain, sadness, neglect, trauma and suffering

[@starzintheskyz4477]

I am just bawling my eyes out listening to this and how true this all is with myself. My anger/rage comes from my biological father abandoning me when I was 6months old. Been through 3 stepdads, and I've never felt genuinely loved from any of them, or any male figure for that matter. My grandpa died when I was 3 so I didn't get to know him. Now, because of all that, plus having a controlling narcissistic mother who raised me...I use my rage and anger in unnecessary ways with society/people. And it's not ok. I just have so much hate in my heart from childhood trauma and abandonment. I need therapy. I took my anger out on all my friends recently because I felt like they all abandoned me all at the same time, just because they're too busy and self absorbed in their own lives they blow me off like they don't have time for me. And then I get even more Angry thinking how why should I be wrong to feel that I expect my friends to be there for me when I need them most...?? So here I am almost 40 years old and not a single friend I can count on my hand. Let alone any family either. So yeah...I'm an angry person. I know I have a lot of love to give and I do have love inside me but the little things that people in society do because they're so self-absorbed just makes me so mad.

[@ufoufo9182]

You're not alone. I experienced almost everything you shared here. Sending you a big virtual hug.

[@dawnzimmermann2958]

I understand Marias. I told a friend the other day that the “perceived” slights and damage may not be real every time we still take it so seriously. Its just hard. Right now Im furious at every Dr who has treated me so casually. My mother who decided my hypervigilance symptoms in 2018 were “me trying to manipulate her” 🤬🤬🤬 I almost died. So much money, so much dismissiveness… I want to rage at the whole world.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

There is a God. I know from experience. Jesus heals. He healed me and He can heal u too

[@ThisIsBogus]

You hit the nail on the head. No family here, either; all "friends" have gone. Doctors are the worst. Wish there were "online dating" style sites strictly for platonic friendships, but most people nowadays only care about "having followers".

[@PaigeEOMalley]

This makes me feel so profoundly understood and connected to a healing body of work that I can trust and believe in, your eloquence and guidance are life saving Karuna 🙌✨💞😅

[@HubfortheHeart]

Wonderful Paige. Very heart warming to hear.

[@stephaniereyes8866]

I never realized my anger was due to my traumas. I’m so overwhelmed because I feel like I’m repeating the cycle with my kids. I’m trying hard not, I’m aware of my childhood and what I wish my parents did differently. But then the littlest thing sets me off and I’m yelling at my kids and feel like I’m traumatizing them.

[@marsgaming3386]

I get so angry that I cry after. I thought it was just my teenager moods and pms but this happens even without that.

[@CarlieFargo]

I just found your channel today and it really feels like you GET it and you have so much info. I can’t wait to watch more and learn more. I first watched your video about the 4 stages for cptsd healing and I believe I am now into the integration stage. It is...deeply difficult, and I think I found you now for a reason. I feel the first spark of hope I’ve felt in months, or probably years now. Thank you for being here. ❤️

[@chelsearamsbottom7717]

I could of written this myself word for word. Bless you 🙏 Interested to learn how your getting on today? 😁

[@faithsheehan2544]

I'm so fucking angry I can't even watch this.....everything seems so wishy washy and almost downplayed. I'm past anger....I'm full of rage due to a life off abuse. Fuck I've even got to isolate myself from well meaning talk shows on Utube. I identify how beautiful this woman is. I'm beyond any form of human contact. Anyone know this level of dispair?

[@Fuxkitrey]

Totally... it’s like I can’t even fucking function. Been missing work so much lately, I don’t even care if Iget fired.. Tf is the worse that could happen? I’m 21 and I feel like I’m was doomed since birth. The trauma, abuse, manipulation, how ive gotten screwed with my financial situation... no outlet. I feel so hopeless. It is very hard to control my thoughts. It all plays over and over like a goddamn allergy and it makes me so angry.

[@msimon6808]

"the Big knots" - This woman KNOWS. That is an EXACT description.

[@Godlywoman88]

I am resentful at certain relatives, exorcism st the fake nature of our connections. One minute acting cold and the next, acting like nothing happened.

[@katie5998]

I've always felt like I had mental issues, depression, anxiety, etc, and because of my family history I always chalked it up to genetics, and partially sure that might be what's wrong with me. But to find out that most if not all of my issues are because of C-PTSD made all this rage I'd been suppressing come up like a wave. Sometimes I feel so angry I can hardly breathe or think beyond the monstrosity of pure anger running through me. I always blamed it on genetics. But CPTSD isn't like depression and anxiety. It was forced on me. Someone did this to me. Someone ruined my entire life because of their childishness and inability to recognize that their toxic disgusting decisions have an epic, epic impact on me. Worse off, it wasn't a stranger, it was someone who loves me. Someone who cares for me. I hate them and I love them and I want to be normal and healthy, but because of them, I can't. Ever. I don't know what to do with this anger.

[@roselynnwood4657]

You can heal! Ask for help! Meditate! Take therapy. I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive or triggers you but I thought it might help so I commented

[@WulfpakDrums]

yeah healing is possible and probable!! I want to name MDMA therapy (look up MAPS MDMA healing) as a totally viable tool for PTSD. the western medical system will tell you its incurable, that's a lie! look up Heart Math Quick Coherence -- the quickest way to a feeling of safety is breathing into your heart. go toward heart and away from the mental story. you are loved!!

[@lisawanderess]

I learned to suppress my anger and ended up with Autoimmune Rheumatoid Arthritis as a result, but oh boy does it come out in my nightmares. Always the same: me yelling and screaming to right some wrong but nobody's listening to me. I so often wake up sobbing with frustration

[@cherylwilsherlimberlife7210]

Thank you for being you 🙏💜 I'm here to heal

[@HubfortheHeart]

Beautiful Cheryl. I'm here to support and inspire you and othersl; it's my heartfelt calling. Thank you for being open and receptive. Your desire to heal is key and will continue to guide you well....

[@aliveandawake9093]

Real talk.

[@rorgerwhite9609]

I was given up for adoption when I was 5,everything you spoke about hit the nail on the head, I want to thank you for helping me with this problem and I'm going to pause next time and take a breath,thanks again!

[@lucashood9307]

Also any and everyone else struggling with these problems in life, I hope you are all doing better, be it fixed fully, or still fighting the battle, as this lady says, you are beautiful and strong and worth every second you fight for yourself ❤️❤️

[@dottydavis]

just the way you look into the camera makes me feel safe and calm. Thanks for all your videos. One of my triggers is my things being touched and moved. I had no privacy as a child and my belongings were taken, broken, moved, my journals were read, sometimes my things were given away because I didn't play with them all the time. I hate myself when I get upset but, I do feel intense anger.

[@laurenbarrett5744]

This made me unexpectedly incredibly emotional. And to think when this video first came up although I wanted to watch it, part of me told me not to and that I didn’t need to hear it. I certainly did & I am so grateful for you and this channel that I ‘stumbled’ across. No such thing as a coincidence. Thank you ✨

[@big5iv3boogi39]

Im glad I found this

[@baebanxx6942]

As a child I experienced neglect and abandonment from my mother at birth who suffered from severe mental illness. I was raised by my grandmother, who prefered that I seen and not heard, she was so extremely critical about my behaviors as a child especially involving mundane house chores. She would take out her anger and resentment from her marriage on me frequently and it cause me to shut down, and repress my anger. Which became deep depression and anxiety. She was not nurturing to me when I experienced sexual abuse and I hate(d) her for ignoring me. I struggle with this same cycle of anger and ignorance which is now severely affecting my marriage. I Often find myself to flying Into Rage over any perceived criticism, especially regarding household chores. I’m so afraid of what I’ve become and What I’m doing to my marriage. I want to end this cycle so badly!!! I’m so glad I’ve come across your video, it’s helping me gain perspective. Thank you

[@HubfortheHeart]

Welcome Bae. Thank you for sharing. Indeed, many of us will have pent up anger/rage after being ignored, not heard and not seen as the sovereign individuals we are. Each of us deeply yearn for freedom and eventually our important outer struggles for validation and freedom, will point and refer to the type of inner freedom you're starting to touch upon so eloquently. Doing this deeper integration, the path you've laid out before you, allows us to inevitably conclude these destructive cycles that we find intolerable. Sending much support your way. If *naturally inspired from the inside out,* feel free to inquire about my online sessions as well.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

I know it sounds crazy but there is a God and He can save you from anger

[@Ash-vk5vr]

So blessed to find this channel. Those triggers run deep

[@WESTBELLFORT713]

I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd in Jan 2021. Last 2 weeks I’ve get so angry that my whole day will be filled with anger . The smallest things triggers it . But I won’t speak harsh to people I will just walk off and be to myself . I’ve been angry all day today

[@spaicybazile]

very useful! Thanks for sharing!

[@RayenJStrxnge]

Thank you for repeating/reassuring us that we're in a safe place here. I obviously typed into KZbin what I wanted to hear about and while listening and watching I felt relieved that finally someone understands me and can give me some answers as to why I'm so angry. And that I'm understood, because I get misunderstood a lot, mainly down to me not articulating properly, just no matter how I say it in my head it never sounds right anyway 😔 I'm estranged from my parents now. My family have proven to be a good reason why you can't trust anyone but yourself. I'm just glad I have my friend who's got my back ❤️

[@katyjean862]

3yrs later... Wondering how you're doing today.

[@be2fly]

Thank you Thank you! your video felt like a reliable flow of cooling water over my inferno beginning to build and intensify. I finished your video with a deep exhale, "ahhhh". I felt my invisible inner child feel relieved and healed in the heart from your acknowledgement. Thank you.

[@awakeandignorant8743]

I have never thought in my heart that I hated someone until this last year. So much emotional abuse from people within my community…and she’s right, trauma is like a virus. I grew up in a community where it was like the same concept….

[@maucarr6154]

Wow! I felt like you were talking to me and absolutely understood 100% what I feel and am going through.... thank you for the insight!!!

[@RobSalamander]

I am 59, 60 this year. In the UK a battered, bruised retired MH professional, retired early due to ill health. Life fell apart, all the anger just came out like a pressure cooker. I have tried so hard to be my own mental health team, as getting help in my position was so, so hard. I was treated appallingly first time, and misdiagnosed and blamed and vilified by a senior NHS, MH nurse and her consultant psychiatrist effectively enabled her. I tried complaining, but knew it would be fruitless. Now, Ive gone back to the same MH providers as Ive heard its better. It is, but I cannot get a diagnosis of CPTSD here until a new DSM arrives, and its frustrating as hell. the identification here was immediate. I have for over ten years sought on line support from the USA. I had a fusion in my lower spine and have chronic pain. Americans back pain sufferers saved me. British ones are a bit uptight, as per all he cliches of us. I am not so much. Always feel I dont quite fit. California would suit me. Warm, beaches…..laid back people…..nice. I will subscribe and listen and share if it helps. My head is full of all sorts. X

[@lucashood9307]

I am only just seeing this now, but what a beautiful person, with a beautiful message ❤

[@MaileyMcAslan]

Thank you so much. You made this video 4 years ago, and I needed it BADLY today. Thank you for your soothing voice and kind, persistent unraveling of the massive knot of anger in my brain today. ❤️

[@HubfortheHeart]

I am so very glad this message has been helpful today. Thank you for viewing.

[@Syncere20]

This explains my life thank you for this video.

[@HubfortheHeart]

Iʻm certainly happy to help in any way I can. Thanks for viewing and glad you resonate with my vid. Karuna

[@vaiabolic]

I'm finally out of denial 😓 and I have a good feeling about your videos. Thank you.

[@Nisaadam57]

I went through the anger and withdrawal phases today and I just found this video and u helped my cry bitterly which actually is venting my emotions thanks

[@paulastella8268]

I am in therapy for CPTSD,depression,social anxiety. My therapist is an EMDR Veteran. He is very good at what he does. Our EMDR sessions have been good in the past,and we stopped doing it for awhile now. He wants me do start it again. I am aware that this therapy and therapist is only doing what needs to be done. He recently moved to a new office and last week,I felt a presence in the office and it frighted me. I texted him to clear the energy in the office so healing will take place again. I hate what occurred with my mother and her drinking as a child. That’s what my therapist wants to work on. I am angry and I don’t want to loose control in session,that would be inappropriate. I have only cried once in the past 2 years of therapy. Hugs to you! Pray for my therapist,please

[@juliastinson2049]

this is how i feel to the t. i love u. thank u❤️

[@maxsamu3507]

Thank you honestly probably the most spot on video I’ve seen for this stuff I needed to hear this

[@saniamohamed2023]

Wow this is literally me. You’ve helped me a lot.

[@Godlywoman88]

I have been trying to find ways to release the anger amd resentment I feel towards my family, but mostly my sister. She was abusive and toxic through our upbringing. Even in adulthood, I was taken advantage of and manipulated. I pray about it and just when I think I moved on, thoughts come to mind about what I should've said to her to put her in her place or set boundaries better.

[@LM-ec8nf]

People at work would talk about me behind my back, and nicknamed me "Crazy" I think.... never really found out what was said. But a couple people actually had the nerve to call me crazy to my face.... not knowing that I was struggling every minute of every day in a abusive romantic relationship. It was a re-creation of my father's Narcissistic abuse on me as a child. Of course, my toxic relationship distracted and detracted from everything else, and affected my work, concentration, focus, and everything else. I even fell for another Narc at work after finally leaving the first one... after only one date he continued to slander me at work for over a year! Everyone thought I was a horrible person, but they never even talked to me, they just talked about me. When they found out I was abused, no compassion or kindness... only fuel for their fire of hate because I was vulnerable. That workplace was just as toxic (or more) than my abusive boyfriend. Horrible, evil people.... I hope there's Karma and Justice. I did leave that job 2 years ago and have financially struggled ever since... Oh, and had to move back in with my parents, including my mean asshole abusive dad!

[@LM-ec8nf]

@Destiny tran I was quiet and kept to myself. I didn't provoke them or deserve their animosity. They were petty and immature. I wouldn't validate their bad behavior, which was unwarranted. I am not your angry co-worker... I'm nothing like them. You're talking about a completely different individual in a completely different situation.

[@gregmyers81]

I just had I minor breakthrough watching this video... Thank you so much.

[@HubfortheHeart]

Glad it helped!

[@justmegamer1008]

Thank you for the warm welcome

[@dondiva10]

This video was so helpful I coukd not help but cry it really helped me to understand how my childhood trauma would trigger my adult anger I needed this! Thank you so much

[@cynthiayescascox1064]

I am so glad I found your channel. . I didn't know how to frame what I was thinking til I saw this. Thank for your time and expertise on the subject.

[@andrewranson7248]

it can be a very long journey, and to everyone in this channel I give you much respect as dealing with childhood trauma is very difficult. Just reading and listening to this video really helps and it does confirm what you are experiencing which is comforting, thankyou for this kind place

[@scorpiomoonlight]

It is just the second time I watch one of your videos and your intro speach brings me tears the two times xo thanks

[@scorpiomoonlight]

Man! you make me cry the hole time 😶

[@HubfortheHeart]

When we finally hear truth-that is a truth already known inside of us and a light is once again switched on-when we come across someone who actually speaks it, such tears flow with ease. A safe haven. A truth spoken. A coming home, at long last. The collective is, largely, not mentally nor emotionally well. We've created workhorses of people in the name of consumerism. We've passed on traumas like a virus. We've prioritized materialism over recognition of hearts. Our path is one of true sanity: We, the kind-hearted, compassionate, inclusive ones, are sane and the closer we align with the authentic self/our greater nature, the less we generate and replicate suffering. Then, we can no longer transmit it. Thank you for be open, receptive and allowing your inner wisdom to shine.

[@nazifatabassumtasnim1442]

Thank you so much. You helped me in my healing journey.

[@cattiger8860]

I needed to find this video today ❤️

[@nicolelauderdale3919]

Your words just actually found a way to my heart

[@PragyaChawla2076]

I love you Karuna

[@jasonevans977]

I feel this every single day. Thank you for this awesome video. It's making me feel like there is another me that I so want to be x

[@HubfortheHeart]

Yes!! Yes! 100% There is an "other" you out there and an entire world out there beyond the anger and trauma. I'm so glad you have now had a glimpse into this world. Keep at it! So many of us have had to work through our anger, our rage.......it feels like fire at times, but it's the way through to the other side. I hope my channel is helpful and should a time arise when you feel private online sessions to be helpful, let me know, Jason. I'm here to support 100%. x Karuna

[@chantelcuddemi7646]

This is so me. I am angry at my abusers, which are my own family.

[@Godlywoman88]

Sometimes as I flashback or even have random imaginations, I feel anger. I feel some anger at my sister for how she treated me but then sometimes acted disappointed when I distanced myself or didn't pay her any mind. I feel angry at how she spoke to me and treated me. I feel angry that my dad, and sometime mom, let her behavior slide and didn't seem to protect me more from my sister. They didn't defend me or acknowledge my sister's bad behavior when it needed to be, but rather took sides (whether they noticed or not) and triangulated.

[@nbgilbert]

Helpful. Thank you.

[@Restoredtofull]

Anger is becoming a disability for me along with other symptoms. I'm no longer able to work

[@whatrtheodds]

I'm so angry and I don't know why but I know how it started. When I stopped overworking 82 hours a week, healed my eating disorder 4 years ago @ 28 and stopped alcohol and drugs 10 years ago @ 22 oh and left a relationship with a man who physically abused me and threaten my life if I left him @ 25. I am now 32 and left with this blaze of anger. I'm so angry I want to smash walls and break things. I have a kind boyfriend and I'm afraid and angry I want to push him away. I go home and my long term female housemate which I was friends with for years she started to become very angry towards me since I have gotten a nice boyfriend. It sucks I feel tired. Although I feel these things I never ever direct it at anyone. But I feel life keeps throwing me all these challenges.

[@outdoorminer5533]

It’s hard to live with the realization that life will be shit, always. Even if things are different, they never really change. Deep down the problem is essential, fundamental, buried deep within. Childhood is all we have. And some didn’t even have that.

[@ElectricNikkiGames]

I struggle to find videos on here for CPTSD since they all seem to reference childhood trauma, but my CPTSD came about from all the trauma that happened to me over the last 13 years of transitioning.

[@tyler__voorhees9404]

I’m so angry all the time. I don’t know why. I can’t control it. I keep taking it out on my friends and family. On people I don’t mean to. It’s better if I don’t be around them. Or talk anymore.

[@kalliehomewood1684]

I always thought I was not normal ..but I see why I push everyone away and lash out 😢

[@taiiiixo9307]

Literally have “rise from the ashes” tattooed on me❤️

[@keithbluestone]

Really really awesome message, wisdom, and hope! Thank you ❤

[@HubfortheHeart]

You are so welcome. Thank you for viewing.

[@Notbothered1]

Yes definitely. The rage is uncanny

[@NinjaMon1776]

Thank you for this video and taking the time to make it I literally came to terms with the strong possibility that all my life I have had CPTSD since I was 5 years old and cancer robbed me of a father. my mother has never really had a healthy relationship since then so I'm resentful in and of that itself. When he passed away him and my mother had four kids so there was a lot on her plate and we were shipped off to separate aunts and uncles the boys went one way the girls went the other way and it was like that for a year until my mom could accept us back. But even then I knew she had changed and love was a rare thing in our house because my mother kept trying to fill her own void with love and at this point in my life I'm the second oldest of 12 siblings so I was robbed a lot of comfort and love and just safe feelings when I was a kid I still am to this day. I truly believe that the death of my father was the starting point of my downward spiral and it is almost killed me multiple times over the years but hey the first part of recovery is recognition right LOL. that's why I'm here watching this this was the first video I've ever watched from your channel and it hit home really hard so thank you for making me feel and isolate the negativity to find it s initial source. It's all uphill from here right because God damn do I have a long long terrible list of trauma and it's only gotten worse I'm 35 years old now it's been 30 years I've been dealing with this shit, it's time to fucking heal so I can have a healthy loving family because it's all I've ever wanted since I was five

[@HubfortheHeart]

Thank you for viewing. Your comments are raw and real and profound. Sending greatest encouragement and support to you. x Karuna

[@Justinechunna]

Thank you

[@zertiboy]

I found my people in this comment section.. just knowing that others have suffered out there too gives me puts me in comfort because I don't feel so alone anymore.. it lifts a bit weight off my schoulders.. not that I'm happy others suffered but rather that I understand others and vice versa.. and realizing how common it is instead of just being the only black sheep...

[@HighpriestessBeaudette]

I am so angry I cant control it anymore I have to ruin things to cool of , break a vase or a furniture , I cant count to ten its not working for me!

[@HighpriestessBeaudette]

@@DeTurquoise Hi thank you i had learn to control my anger now I am rarely angry anymore! Its amazing what can happen in 8 months🙏🏻❤

[@DeTurquoise]

Yyou dont eevven know wwhaat is trauma omfg i wantted conzrrol aand supred anger for seven years and hli hhave addhd aand rsd aand pproppably goureete syyndorm cant vreat aauttogresion and wantedd to diie beccause i Eant to cobntrol everything then i will be THHAAT PErfect girrl!!! I WANT TO DIIE I EVVEN DIDDNT HAAVE SEXX FFOOR SEVEN YEAARS AND DDISOCCIATTION AND PAAIN OVER MY BODY O WAS SSO AANGRY AAND COBTTOO EVERY MY. MOVVE OMMFGG I PUNNCH MY HEAd FOR Sixour s becauus i just want to ficckingg move mmy body fuck!!! Overhelmedd bby world cobtrop cconntrol cobtrol ccontrolncontrop ccontrolncontrol control cant breath controlncobtrll sttupiid hands vobzrolnccontrol ncontrol control!!!!! I will kill somebodyy bbecauuse Im SSO PERFECTLY IN CONTRROL OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAZ ANXIETY FOR HELP MY STUPID HELP I TRIED FOR ONE YEAR YOU ARE SO PERFECT

[@HighpriestessBeaudette]

@@DeTurquoise Yes just let it all out! Okay here is some information for you when I was a child i was beaten by my foster care family & they even tryed to kill me & their nasty son used me seksually! How did i overcome all this how did i overcome my anger my fears my sadness my anxiety ? I overcome it because i learned to forgive! I am not perfect no one is & there is always healing especially for those who had such a traumatic experience in life like we had! But when we forgive we can help other people heal themself we can give them tools they can use. Be love & that is what you get in return❤ sending you a big hug!!

[@roselynnwood4657]

@@HighpriestessBeaudette how did u heal? Please help me I beg of you.

[@suzysobrinho2921]

I was diagnosed with borderline but when I started dbt treatment things got worse the dbt was retraumatizing. Something told me there was something else going on related to the trauma. I was having suicidal thinking and called a helpline and the person I spoke to said I think you may have been misdiagnosed and might have cptsd. So now I am seeking treatment from trauma specialist. I don't have all the answers but I do know that I repressed everything my whole life and as soon as I came out of denial the rage started to surface getting worse and worse. I hope I can find the right help things are getting really bad.

[@SaminSays]

i so adore your metaphors

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

I haven’t always been this way. I think I became the most angry 5 years ago after a relationship with a narcissist. Before that, I was dealing with my CPTSD in different ways - partying and distracting myself with a vapid social life. Then I got to a good place spiritually and I was so happy and at peace. Then I got into that relationship and ever since I got out of it I’ve struggled deeply with resentment and anger. Not even really at him, that I’m aware of. But I hate everyone and everything. It feels like everyone is ruining my life and in my way, and I just want to live on an island in the middle of sea and never see another human again. I want to let go of this anger and feel happiness again. It’s eating me up inside.

[@xxthejesful]

I just hurt from the thought that no one else feels the way I feel. And because they don’t have to feel that pain, they don’t GAF

[@professorchaos9]

When you are angry, in a way you may feel vindictive. The Victim feels vindictive towards the abusers, towards life, he is fueled with rage. Anytime you feel anger, ask yourself who is feeling angry? It is the victim a.k.a the vulnerable child. They key to resolve the issue as mentioned in this video is through awareness. Become aware of the different parts of you. The part that is a victim needs to come to awareness. Needs to take accountability and responsibility. Not for what happened, but for how you react to situations in your current life. Ask yourself at this moment, what power do I have? Use that power.

[@soczek7846]

Thank you so much. You're doing a wonderful thing here. Sending all love from my heart

[@ReddersTV]

It honestly feels like you're talking about my life.

[@sallydr]

I had to eliminate sadness as a child because it was a weakness that would be weaponized against me!!

[@Myishamusic]

Something that feels so self explanatory not so much so , bless u for breaking this down with a greater understanding

[@caligirlesme]

Thank you for this beautiful video…

[@kristina_lynn]

Thank you for this. My CPTSD revolves around childhood sexual abuse not involving family members but your channel and advice is still really relevant. ❤️

[@jrod1986]

I feel that, been through the same.

[@EbonyHoopGyal]

I get so enraged and I truly hate it. Things can be going great and I can still get so pissed off if someone dissapoints me. I even get pissed at how long it takes to get therapy services in a new city. I should be grateful they are even going to help me. But I reached out to them because I need the help now😅