Angelina Bennet, Heather Brown and Kilian Gilbert - Enneagram Type 5 - 'The Observer' - Iain McNay

[@twhitten828]

I am a 5 and I think the reason they find socializing with others so draining is because the pay attention so intently. They listen "hard." In general they do not chime in unless they have something "valuable" to offer. I think they feel others are the same way until they find that others sometimes talk just to hear themselves talk. At which time, it occurs to the 5 that the conversation is "trivial" & and "irrelevant" and it was a waste of time and energy to try to find any meaning in it

[@CC-uz3ri]

This is the first time I've ever heard someone else say that they cry at funerals more than anyone else even if they're not close to the person. Me too.

[@TheSpazModic]

I am a 5, and I highly recommend reading Enneagram info for self-improvement, not just self-awareness. The most applicable point that I've taken from my readings about Fives is: "Emphasize DOING over thinking". Don't get bogged down in analysis paralysis about anything that needs to be undertaken. If we do half of our usual research and ruminating, we will still be better informed and prepared than 90% of the population.

[@btarvinrdh]

2 more things: 1. It's so nice when a 5 meets another 5- (finally) you don't feel so weird; you "get" each other, like why you need to be alone, why you can only take so much in social settings (or even the grocery store-it can be so exhausting bc you're weighing out the pros and cons of "EVERYTHING"!)...cont

[@vanmaren962]

Thanks! As a type 5, I was able to relate to much of what they said

[@fragglesful]

really enlightening! thanks loads for posting! =)

[@budaheartie]

Great conversation thanks! Enjoyed it!.

[@TheSpazModic]

I highly recommend "Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery" (Riso, Hudson). It is extremely thorough, and will also help you to understand other people in your life. Good luck!

[@TheZoRetro]

Always thinking always analyzing. You even tell the guy is analyzing what he's about to say before he says it. The five type is so much more than they appear to be we can dynamic and eventful, but we are so much more comfortable in our heads and away from societies expectations. I resonated when the lady said they we put ourselves in a light house and it's painful to let people in. When you build so many walls against society watching everything happen from your light house it's difficult to let people in because we feel everything so intensely. So much so they we barely allow ourselves to feel anything.

[@Monkofmagnesia]

I am a 5 and I am an INFP. Thing is, I'm perfectly happy being this way.

[@btarvinrdh]

Another example: I'm super annoyed with people who just jump in (whatever task that may be) and don't think, or research it, or have a solid plan established. Growing up, and even today, my mom's always saying, "Don't think! Just DO" and-omg, that goes against everything in me, I swear. Her and my husband will point out all they accomplished while I was "thinking about it". And then I point out the time and money they wasted bc they have to go re-do things they carelessly "just DID", not to men

[@MKnight1121]

5w4/INTP/black/attractive/woman The most unfortunate/rewarding combination imaginable.

[@just5462]

You forgot to add you are humble too babe

[@say_pal]

LITERALLY SAME EXCEPT 5W6

[@conscioustv]

The transcript of this interview is available to view here. www.conscious.tv/text/43.htm

[@alekid]

About meditation: the 5s in fact can use their "observing" ability even about their own thoughts and theorizing. The observer is always there, and if 5s find this "detachment" natural then they often "meditate" without knowing. The observing is neutral and truthful. Problem arises when we identify with the observed, the perceived phenomena and all the mental work. Stay as the unengaged observer only, for a few minutes per day. There's peace in that.

[@btarvinrdh]

All this time I thought I was a 1-I am now absolutely convinced I'm a 5, and things are making so much more sense to me. For example-1's are usually prompt. I am chronically LATE. That did not make sense. When I realized that almost always, I'm late because I'm engrossed in something, or I'm analyzing it, (and unconsciously avoiding the situation or place I need to go/people I'm scheduled to see), as a FIVE -that makes sense.

[@anri5839]

I'm a little disappointed that they didn't discuss sx,so,sp variants. It would've just added that bit of extra useful info to compare the different fives with each other. They didn't mention the varian, and also not the wing. Just one person mentioned their wing. Unless I missed it and perhaps it was mentioned?

[@erinfield1943]

The two people on the couch are probably SP's. The lady with the blue shirt is [I'm assuming] sx/so or so/sx.

[@jaybby04]

This is excellent! This is me...

[@matthewdevereux1288]

I did a test at my mum's house last night and it came up as 5. But don't know wings. I don't know much about the whole philosophy of it all so this was quite interesting. I am also an INTJ which seems to chime quite well with a 5 and it helps explain why I operate the way I do and have done all my life.

[@romclater8448]

5's are amazing!!

[@willzer808]

Right on Rom, right on.

[@pennamb]

all of this is right on

[@twhitten828]

Also, since they work from their own "specialized" mental paradigm, it is exhausting to babystep others to "bring them up to speed" in order to make our point. Only to find out that for the most part, others don't think deeply on anything at all and don't ever care to. Not caring to investigate comes as a real shock to the 5. How can you not care? "a life not examined is not worth living" type of thing. Therefore they withhold their energy for those that are "worthy"

[@TheZoRetro]

As a five I'm learning to take risks and responsibility for everything in my life. I trying to take the good of an 8 and apply it to my life where needed.

[@mlc241986]

I am a type 5,6,4 well balance in a core type 5 with both wings.

[@tm32156]

It's nobody's fault, but this video doesn't go deeply into what skills 5's can end up developing by all that disembodiment and observance. It isn't just withdrawal, it's perception - absolutely, 5's "sit on the sidelines" and "watch," but in doing so they see a damn lot. 5's often know a lot more than they let on. I'm not sure why these 5's didn't share more, but it's worth pointing out that the tendencies of the type can let the 5 see things other people would never see from their vantage.

[@__OL__]

As a 5 myself, your point about "more doing, less thinking/researching" really rings true for me. Ironically, I'm wondering if there's a particular book/books that you would recommend to help drive this point home and to understand 5's better in general =) (I've yet to read any books on the enneagram, btw.)

[@__OL__]

Update: The Wisdom of the Enneagram is a great book. Also, subscribing to the daily email quote for Fives from the Enneagram Institute has been very insightful and a very helpful reminder about my Five patterns/blindspots.

[@oopalonga]

So i gotta ask the other 5s--i'm an actually pretty damn good socializer/conversationalist--but when I decide to bring my A game holy FUCK is it draining. Like I can only do it for maybe 30-45 mins tops (with say a group of people I've never met before), and then i'm DRAINED. Drained as in, i want to go home, be left alone, and do something mindless, like a computer game or something. any other 5s like this?

[@oopalonga]

oh, i guess she discusses this at 14:25 = P

[@fadibitz]

oopalonga With me, social interaction is a brutal experience if I don't know the people. Once in a while, however, I can interact with people I don't know, but I have to have some sort of "home field advantage". For example, I can give a lecture or teach a class (and take questions), I can direct a video shoot, and I can manage a small team; however, I recently attended a corporate party and was almost completely immobilized by anxiety and the fear of appearing socially incompetent or silly. Let me just add that I don't generally get to decide to bring my A game. If I'm going to present an A game, then it mostly depends on me having a really good day that day with few stresses. Either that or it has to be something that I can prepare for intellectually. I can *bring* and A game to a lecture; for parties, the A game has to be there when I arrive and meet me at the door.

[@oopalonga]

Robert Nicholas hmm interesting. what is it about people you don't know that causes the experience to be brutal? something else that will overwhelm me are lots of sounds, sights, and people etc. It's almost as if it's too much for my brain to comprehend at once, and then i get frustrated b/c rather than first being able to "visually digest" my environment, i'm forced to socialize instead.

[@fadibitz]

For me, I think that socializing with people I don't know requires me to size up the content of the conversation and to respond with relevant content quickly. Furthermore, socializing requires (from me) the ability to parse the tone and register of the conversation also and respond with matching tone and in a matching register using similar vocabulary. This is an entirely analytic exercise for me and is not at all instinctual or natural. Because I'm an incorrigible cogitator, I have to think about what I'm hearing for a while before I can respond in a natural sounding way. Here's my current social strategy: I must limit my engagements to 1:1 where possible. Group chat generally settles on a line of conversation that leaving feeling as if I'm somehow intruding on someone else's conversation. In 1:1 engagements, my tactic is to leverage the fact that most people like to talk about themselves: I ask them about the small details they reveal when they speak. For example, a lady might be telling me about how she was late because she had to pick up her son at football or whatever. That's my entry point, and the questions to keep the conversation going by avoiding my own contributions begins: "Oh, you have a son?" (tells me name, etc.) "Is he your only child?" (she has three) "All boys?" (whatever configuration she has) ...and so on. I use filler noises that are more likely to act as proxies for open-ended questions or other prompts for information, such as "is that right...?" or "really...?" or "how exciting!". Of course doing all this requires a lot of focus, energy, and sustained effort, and that is what is so exhausting. And that's with my A game. If the A game didn't meet me at the door as prescribed, then I simply collapse internally into a singularity of self doubt (I have no idea what I'm doing), self loathing (I don't even belong among these fun and popular people), and self consciousness (I look like a goddam fool).

[@oopalonga]

Robert Nicholas holy fuck man. your IQ is like 180 or some shit. so i understood everything you said, but here's something i find peculiar. You know you're ridiculously smart, right? I mean it's obvious after having read this paragraph. So how come that fact doesn't override your own self-doubt? As a side note, I used to feel a little like you did in your last paragraph. And then I realized it doesn't really matter. You know people can have their perceptions of me and shit, and that's fine. And if i find something overwhelming--a conversation, an environment, whatever--I can still "be" in it, but not really interact with it. I can just kind of zone everything out (of course, that kinda defeats the purpose of being there lol--but with this skill you learn you can be comfortable anywhere). Cuz i mean, sometimes I felt I was being a bad socializer if I wasn't bringing my A game and shit, and then I realized that, you know what, it doesn't matter, this is who I am and if people aren't comfortable with me being ever-so-slightly aloof b/c everything is overwhelming, well, that's their problem. I suppose sometimes in a conversation you feel like you've got to keep it going and stuff, and that can be a lot of pressure. But if you just say to yourself that it doesn't matter if all the sudden the conversation stops and things get awkward but Ill just stand here doing whatever and be comfortable with it, well, for me that helps lol.

[@Thelittleclipstore]

Intp 5sx here female, I relate to the male the most and his speech pattern. Great video;) I have a 8 friend and I feel most alive near him. But yes at the same time very draining after the interaction, I’d love to borrow some of their energy 😀

[@marcaurel9322]

Ich sehe mir gerne diese Enneagramm Videos an, hab jedoch festgestellt, dass ich mich durch die Darstellung jeweils eines Typs überall wiederfinde. In dem Buch "Wer du wirklich bist" von D. Rathmer sind Übersichten, wo ich auf einen Blick alle 9 Typen vergleichen kann. Das hat mir letzendlich den Durchbruch gebracht und Klarheit verschafft.

[@SarahElizabethEasley]

5's unite ♡

[@__OL__]

Thank you =)

[@freshlife08]

I never ever would have typed the lady in blue as a five.

[@erinfield1943]

She looks like she feels so alive "teaching" Iain about the Enneagram. Fives are super excited when they have an audience to transfer their knowledge to.

[@thumanina]

Funny how this suddenly became a KZbin video commented by people who actually do mind spelling and punctuation. Like one ninth of the population is absent in most KZbin pages but gathers here "among equals". (If you do not think me an equal after reading this: my mother tongue isn't English.) (Also, I do not think bad about people who don't pay attention to spelling, but, you get what I mean.) Curious what the comments for the 3's or 7's videos might look like. (With all due respect :) .)

[@baldmisery]

As i watch i wonder if English 5s are different that American 5s. I am a 5/INTJ and these ppl really aren't 5 enough.

[@CC-uz3ri]

I adore the bathroom, man.

[@theworldofwonder]

but i have met many to state that as a corresponding pattern in MBTI

[@theworldofwonder]

i know i am 5 and intp but every one of us is really different. the general pattern is similar however, we are not all smart and successful. i just don't like how these people are way into their characteristic, like as if they are acting according to the character description.

[@btarvinrdh]

Contd..not to mention double-buying supplies;"if they'd have just made a plan, then executed"..see,it's like a circle! I do see that my way has faults too. Most employers want "doers",that's what makes the money. Not "conceptualizers" lol.thought I was a perfectionist; but I just relate more to people who think things through better....

[@kellann55]

5w4 INFP

[@mark1983peace]

@theworldofwonder That's definitely a type 5 observation :D

[@Thelittleclipstore]

Not much movement going on😀 funny to see myself in them, how they keep their hands close to their body and don’t around move much

[@btarvinrdh]

Cont...2- am I the only 5 that thinks the Internet, a seemingly endless supply of info/sources/pictures/maps/opinions/better or cheaper ways to do things....can be DISASTROUS to your life if you let it? can you spend literally hours upon hours just looking up any old quirky question, which leads to another and another? Just wondering...

[@peterristevski1954]

it's an unconcious fixation, a pattern that is moulded into the brain from childhood, it's devilishly difficult to undo, but very rewarding, a sence of well being is restored, most people are totaly unconcious of there psychic imbalance and the fixation has a dark side that drains one sence of wellbeing, robotic and cyclic negative states of mind are unavoidable, until one gets free of these limitations unconconciouly eating it one???

[@theworldofwonder]

@mark1983peace thanks mate.

[@lost-tears25]

5w4 INTP.

[@KendrixTermina]

Aaand another ~

[@littlefarmer1303]

I'm equally type 1 and 5, INTJ-A.

[@blackult1]

what the guy first says sounds like depersonalization/derealization. 12:00 sounds like introvert vs extrovert.

[@andrewwabik4252]

cor 5s are naturally introverted

[@blackult1]

that has nothing to do with my comment.

[@Whovianize]

I'm a type 5 and know that romantic relationships are hard for me. I seem to attract a lot of unhealthy Type 3's!! I run like forest from them! I don't know how to look for men that are best suited for my type and truly love me...and aren't overly needy/cheating jerks. How do you meet men/people? It's def easier staying in & watching sci fi or reading.

[@ethanc4603]

Maybe another 5 would "work" best for you.

[@Whovianize]

Ethan C yes, I think you might be right. If I can find and meet another.

[@oopalonga]

got no clue. as a 5 male i will sometimes just cold approach women and i've had decent results. (i suppose you could do the same as a female, although might be harder, but i think it could be done.) i guess i always just thought that as a 5 female, you'd end up in some job that was overly male dominated and then you could just have your pick of the litter lol. (e.g., female software engineer)

[@Whovianize]

oopalonga hello fellow 5! Yes, I'm able to get men. but I'm wanting something deep instead of shallow and something that looks more long-term instead of lasting a month, etc. I do wish I had gone into the computer vocation instead of what I decided from High School onward. -I've been in school and double majored most of my life until graduating in 2011. -But hopefully I can save up and go back in a year or so. Thank you for your lovely comment! xx

[@oopalonga]

Whovianize what did you double major in and what are you doing now? also, why only hugs w/o kisses? : ( xoxo ; )

[@exploringunchartedwaters]

Type 5, ESTJ.

[@NudeDragon12]

5w4 So/sp ENTP

[@akumasdeception]

5W6 INTJ

[@asolis8]

Oh my, I'm almost sure the guy I just started dating is a 5. I hope I'm an evolved enough 8 as to not bulldoze over lol.

[@MugenMag]

As if you met them in person.

[@pkpkpkpkpk669]

this is so hard to watch. 5's are so awkward

[@ninaintech]

INTP 5w6

[@ab8893_]

5w6 isfj

[@Tommyboytomsters]

All I know and trust cause I don't trust is Gurdjieff. Greatest trust is none at all

[@geraldinesilini8969]

5w4 INFJ

[@michaeldavis8800]

5w6 INFJ

[@lomaxx27]

hahahaa!! lol to critiscism part xxxx awwwwwww

[@Keaggan]

A bunch of 5 wannabees in here lol

[@naomirayo3870]

?