Coping with Emotional Pain

[@fink7968]

BPD and having a horrible, painful night with nobody available to me. This was really wonderful. Thank you

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

You're welcome. I am so glad it helped you!

[@ts3858]

Sitting w emotions is indeed difficult . I want to dissociate and get busy...I guess it takes practice and self compassion .. Thank you..🙏

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

You're welcome. It can help a lot to build your practice slowly. Give yourself credit just for sitting with the intention of focusing on your emotions. Even that is not easy! By doing it for a brief period of time, you will be less likely to become frustrated with yourself, and you will be more likely to see-- and hopefully appreciate-- even small amounts of progress. Be gentle with yourself, just as you would be with a child. You, like that child, are vulnerable, especially as you sit with your emotions.

[@sanchitabanerjee7289]

Thank you for this...I wish I knew this before. Still happy I found this.....better late than never!😊❤️

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

Picking up on your theme of better late than never... thanks for your kind words. I'm so glad you found this helpful!

[@KarenWalker-t1y]

Thank you so much! This was exactly what I needed.

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

I'm so glad!

[@KarenWalker-t1y]

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD My father died at the age of 89, after a very long (2 years) sort of winding down period. Then 7 months later my sister (9 years older, always thought of her as 'Big Sis') chose now to break my heart. I have really (!) been struggling. But, your advice and the words 'sit with your pain' have helped me immensely. I have been doing this every day and my heart is finally feeling better. My self esteem is becoming much more healthy for the first time in years. Thank you, Dr Becker-Phelps!

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

@@KarenWalker-t1y I am saddened to hear what you've been through, but I'm heartened to know that you've found help in my video. You're welcome. Thank you for sharing, and I wish you well.

[@dr.shahidkarim8420]

Miss there is no coping. We are just counting days till it all ends

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

If that is truly how you feel, I hope you reach out to get help so you don't need to feel alone -- maybe get therapy, talk with someone in your religious community if you are part of one, or someone else in your life who might be supportive. Also, if you live in the U.S. and want to talk, you might reach out to a "warm line", which is a phone number you can call to talk with someone who is trained to be a support. You can use a search engine to find one near you. I don't know, but other countries might have similar kinds of help.

[@dr.shahidkarim8420]

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD Thank you for the kind words miss. I hope you succeed in your good work. My issues are kind of incurable cuz the source is part of my life now and is permanent. But i really hope a good life for other folks and wish you all the best!

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

@@dr.shahidkarim8420 Despair is an awful thing. I hope that you find hope and goodness in your life. (Actually, the goodness is already there in you, as you are wishing well for others even when you have given up on you finding it for yourself.) You may find hope and "the good" unexpectedly for yourself either by happenstance, or by learning to look at life differently. Often the happenstance or good fortune comes when we learn to look at things from a different perspective or after we open ourselves to help from others. I don't know your situation and don't want to be presumptuous about it, but people often find hope and goodness in life when they thought there was none to be had. I wish this for you.

[@TenHo-g9w]

Thank you

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

You're welcome.

[@TheFabricator03]

Thank you for this video.

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

You're welcome :)

[@RA-777]

Thank you, this is helpful

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

You are welcome. And thanks for letting me know it connected with you.

[@yeshasalam3190]

Thank you very much, this kinda helpful

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

I'm glad. Thanks for letting me know.

[@aydansagiroglu]

Thanks a lot for this video, i watched all your videos, they are so helpfull, i wish that there were subtitle in Turkish and i could share all videos with my friends needing to hear this type of videos,

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

I'm so glad they are helpful, and thanks for letting me know. My understanding is that there may be a Turkish edition of my book Insecure in Love; or maybe one coming? If you are interested in it and cannot find it, I can ask my publisher about it.

[@aydansagiroglu]

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD i know the book insecure in love but i read it in English and i loved it, unfortunately there is no turkish edition so i couldnt suggest it to my friends who dont know English, the videos and the book are so helpful, thanks a lot again.

[@StaticBlaster]

To me regular depression doesn't really make much sense to me. I had it before about 12 years ago and it basically boiled down to feeling sorry for myself and thinking I'm no good. That's a bunch of crap. I have come to realize that you need to stand up tall and think that you are good enough. What I'm dealing with now is much worse. major depressive disorder caused by grief. I lost my dear cousin Joi who was only 25. This hurts like hell. 💔😭

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

I am saddened to hear about your pain and for the hell you are going through. Nothing can, or should, take it away. Because loss hurts. I just hope you have people in your life who you can open up to and who can support you through this time. As for "regular depression" and people feeling sorry for themselves and viewing themselves negatively, that is another kind of pain. One that many share. People generally want to be happy, but sometimes get caught in their pain. They don't know how to stand up tall and think positively about themselves. There are some things, like this, that cannot be demanded, but need to be nurtured. Learning to do this is essential. If you or anyone needs to learn this skill, I encourage you and them to seek out help -- through listening to those who love and support you, self-help materials, or therapy. I personally try to help people with this through many free resources, such as this KZbin channel and my many articles. My books - which can be purchased or taken out of the library for free - focus on helping people with these kinds of struggles. If you think my work might help you, check it out on my website: drbecker-phelps.com. (FYI, my website is getting a major overhaul that I am hoping will happen this week.) I wish you well in your healing through your grief.

[@StaticBlaster]

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD Thank you so much. Indeed, I have family members to confide in. I'm considering proposing the idea of creating a family support group, as we all knew her and are more or less experiencing the same emotions. I also appreciate you taking the time to respond to me and providing therapy/counseling information.

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

@@StaticBlaster I think that starting a family support group sounds like a fantastic idea. If you choose to do it, I hope it goes well and provides the support it sounds like you all need.

[@StaticBlaster]

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD Thank you. I truly appreciate all of your kind, supportive, encouraging words. 🙂

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

@@StaticBlaster You are most welcome. Hang in there :)

[@NarutoUzumakiofficial]

Emotional pain is the worst. No amount of advil can fix emotional pain. There is no bandaid. Being sensitive and have szicho-effictive disorder just hard to cope with the pain. My brain feels like a mess. but this helps at night I think. Sometimes it gets to the pain I feel nothing, just given the amount of rejection and betrayl I've been thru I can't cope sometimes. I try to love all people but it's daunting

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

I agree - emotional pain is the worst! While I think it is important to be open and loving, it is also important to take care of yourself, to have boundaries that protect you. Listening to what painful interactions teach you about a particular person, about people in general, and about certain situations can be very helpful in deciding how best to go forward. But it can also be difficult to do. Along the way, I hope you are aware of the people who have shown themselves to be caring and supportive, and to allow those responses into your heart.

[@DAClub-uf3br]

I no longer feel emotional pain. I no longer feel any emotion.

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

When people no longer feel pain, they often actually have so much pain inside that they disconnect from it as a way to cope. In these situations, it often helps to find a therapist they can connect with and who can help them to heal. Something you might want to think about...

[@DAClub-uf3br]

@@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD I also feel no connection to people.