What's the Deal With Bird Box

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[@rdzr1kinpin]

Bird Box: A monster that respects private property

[@anonb4632]

Actually it's an old trope with demons, vampires etc. You have to invite them in. They don't respect property, they just respect walls. They trespass a lot. 🤗

[@Raccon_Detective.]

@@anonb4632 Thanks for reminding.

[@williamorme7687]

@@anonb4632 I didn't know

[@Chrisgonzalz]

Respects personal space

[@antonymilne1346]

And consent. They can't remove your blindfold. You gotta do it yourself

[@theochurch5886]

Birdbox: Can't see A Quiet Place: Can't speak Hush: Can't hear Mean Girls: Can't sit with us

[@zboy1152]

Nerd Sandwich Don’t Breathe: Also can’t see

[@rexhepmuaremi3328]

You: Can't make good jokes

[@zboy1152]

Rexhep Muaremi You: *gets toxic* Me: *accepts the comment above as a joke anyways*

[@bellablondon6172]

That was hilarious 😂😂😂

[@lainyloraine7185]

Hotel: trivago

[@quintinesters8286]

when you realize that the monster can destroy trees but not take off their blind folds

[@digimaniacstudios5959]

They can destroy trees but not physically destroy humans

[@GuenniKurti]

It can also violently shake a car with 5 people on in it. Its powers are so inconsistent that the movie just doesn't make any sense anymore.

[@azulBjort_1406]

ThEy DoN't HaVe OpPoSaBlaE tHuMbS

[@fudzyfudzy6586]

@@azulBjort_1406 genius

[@siwap3809]

uh it’s called plot convenience

[@leedraconis5793]

“Are you a simpleton” made me laugh so loud my cat left the room in fear

[@noellerose2691]

Liam Vic i've added "are you a simpleton?" to my vernacular!!!

[@1993httphil]

I'm still shaking from laughing and then read your comment. Now I'm dead. Thanks.

[@Magicpoppy]

😂😂

[@targaryenXoolf]

Malkovich is lit

[@lizc6393]

There's no way that was in the script... that was 100% Malkovich Malkovich-ing.

[@affogaato]

"Named after the sweetest girl I ever met." *"SHUT UP OLYMPIA."*

[@galleryofrogues]

acorn **Olympia dives hilariously out a window**

[@Maheshrpsharma]

to make her feel good about the recently given name

[@TheSaiyanPrincess89]

I thought her name was Olivia?

[@kdoh_music]

8:08

[@bluejam7634]

@@kdoh_music 8:03 Fixed it for ya

[@senorclappin3374]

The only person who can call their son “boy” is Kratos

[@TheFilthyCringer]

Yeah but if Kratos was in the film it wouldn't be much of a film. "The monster is dead" "how did you kill it without looking?" "All I see is another enemy"

[@pigflatus7434]

Laurence Barnes I feel like he would be immune anyway, since he’s a god.

[@QuandaleDingle10]

BOI

[@cameronb7161]

This is how the movie would go if Kratos were in it: Atreus: "Where'd all those monsters go? And where did you get these new rugs?" Kratos: "You answered your first question with your second question."

[@diobrando5896]

Arthur Morgan Would

[@grimreefer9324]

Dude I just realized how fucking powerful Daredevil would be in this movie I’m now wondering why they didn’t include a “blind guy” character that teaches them how to try and navigate without seeing. Not like in a Daredevil way, just in a normal.... blind guy way....

[@jays.6843]

The movie would probably be like "He can hear their outlines, he's crazy now".

[@Alison-dt5wo]

From reading about about 30 pages plus the ending of the book (so qualified, lol), the sanctuary is actually a home for the blind. To be admitted, they are then required to blind themselves. So yeah, you get the normal blind people just living their lives when it's all over.

[@z-chan946]

Daredevil crossover with birdbox?

[@timmm1668]

@@z-chan946 wtf

[@shripadreddy4852]

@@Alison-dt5wo so does the Sandra bullock and her kids took of there eyes in the book?

[@TypetwoAbsolute]

How blind is blind enough? There are a lot of blind people that can still see something. I wear glasses, if I take them off am I immune to the creature?

[@kordami28]

Haha ikr?

[@jwhippet8313]

Yes. Yes you are.

[@ArlanKels]

I'm more wondering.. Well I'm certain the alien monsters have a certain color So if you use cameras and have them set to not show that color...you wouldn't see them?

[@HateshWarkio]

@@ArlanKels Rainbow Cthulhu

[@ponkotuu]

@@ArlanKels that's what greg did and he still died, his monitor also show black and white footage

[@officialslk4683]

This is why Daredevil was cancelled. They knew Matt Murdock would be too powerful.

[@blurryperson2685]

B I G T H O N K

[@LuBuSympathizer]

I was thinking the same thing the whole time when watching it

[@dylanbell268]

Ugh then someone made this www.google.com/amp/s/comicbook.com/horror/amp/2019/01/02/daredevil-bird-box-mashup-netflix/

[@loganayers7872]

Its cuz he saw a cab at the end of season 3! He broke the system and they had to get rid of him

[@christa1965]

Wait what??

[@mr.ditkovich3672]

*_John Cena was the villain._*

[@The_G_Edits]

Cuz you cant see him... Niceee

[@andrewharvey1777]

Mr. Ditkovich Death by attitude adjustment

[@leon30517]

LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO

[@connorsimmonds9698]

Best comment i have read in years

[@enzoknol3015]

Yes

[@BogusLettuce]

8:58 "Then I saw John malkovich... and I realized he's too expensive to be in the movie for just a few minutes" Currently on the floor.

[@anonb4632]

John Malkovitch is in quite a lot of the film. Jacki Weaver is wasted on this film though.

[@dustedjotaro3078]

Everything changed as soon as John Malkovich appeared on screen.

[@TTFerdinand]

@@dustedjotaro3078 Yes, for a while I thought he was gonna save that film. Eventually. Then he died. I thought - NO! He could've saved that film! Then the film ended and I thought - nah, he couldn't have saved it even if he had wanted to.

[@Costikeke]

@@anonb4632 to be fair malkovitch too was wasted at one point

[@madeleineknode5064]

"Are there - other - children in the world?" *You're doing great sweety* Hahahahahahhaha 😂😂😂

[@wavyyvibez3278]

Madeleine Knode My question 😂

[@galleryofrogues]

*sweaty

[@Tit0Matic]

@@galleryofrogues lol no. "sweaty" is what happens to people while running a few miles

[@galleryofrogues]

Tit0Matic who hurt you, sweaty? 😂

[@Tit0Matic]

@@galleryofrogues Earl Sweatshirt

[@stevester9148]

''Named after the sweetest girl I've ever met...''/''SHUT UP OLYMPIA!!!'' Best. edit. ever!

[@David-ev3xb]

Stevester true

[@dinimueter9961]

She should have named her after her sister, that would have made more sense to me

[@GiubileiFernando]

Should have added "Shut up, Patrice!"

[@DavidMartinez-ce3lp]

😂😂 that was great

[@taswick223]

Lisa Häberli or Jasmine or Ariel like Olympia said she wanted

[@zapcoolman8816]

*A R E Y O U A S I M P L E T O N*

[@nigerianprince2995]

Zap Coolman W H O L E T THE S I M P L E T O N O U T O F T H E A S Y L U M

[@caseymorgan5430]

Yes

[@AKACHIISBETTER]

Zap Coolman HA!

[@Mrpandamanism]

gets me every time

[@gauravchandra1585]

i hated olympia , so probably she did nice work in the movie :)

[@thetruth1166]

"What is with you and doors?" I laughed so hard!

[@gabepicsproductions]

THE TRUTH I wanted to like your comment but it made it go to 70 and i’m no monster

[@thetruth1166]

@@gabepicsproductions I laughed so hard!!!!

[@ArlanKels]

I think he said the monsters can't harm the people But I could've sworn I saw the monsters moving stuff? So why can't they harm people? They should be able to remove the blindfolds themselves.

[@thetruth1166]

@@ArlanKels Actually you're right! The monsters moved the ring she used to enter in an abandonned house at some point!

[@TheBonkleFox]

@@thetruth1166 if they can rock a car they can take a blindfold off

[@theyeetmasta4320]

*legend says Tom is still opening doors*

[@galleryofrogues]

TheYeetMasta *what is with him and d o o r s*

[@Maheshrpsharma]

with the little hole his head

[@dislike_button33]

I also love how John Malcovich's character is right the whole time and the movie is trying to make you hate him so hard. Like literally every time people don't listen to him, they die.

[@GulpurEel]

This is exactly how I described the plot to my boyfriend. "A bunch of people refuse to listen to the smartest person in the room simply because he's blunt and uses a mean tone". John Malcovich was the best, most intelligent character in the movie and people refuse to listen to a damn thing he says. They all deserved to die in my opinion lol

[@HolderoftheHeel]

Paraphrasing his line: "You want to know the only difference between us? I'm always right." Seemed more like a message from the writer than actual dialogue to me.

[@christophergibbs2616]

But...he was only right one time. Every other time he voiced his opinion it ended up being wrong...you can even see that when the group treats him the way that he wanted to treat everyone else after he proves to be more of a liability than an asset.

[@Jessica-ms3bv]

My 0g puttying kkib7 on

[@tNigel]

Nice profile pic

[@thiccboi156]

If someone called me a Simpleton, I may have to re-evaluate my life.

[@caydenmichael98]

You're a Simpleton! There! Time to do some re-evaluating!

[@pastorTracy911]

Cayden Michael he’s been reevaluating for 7 months.

[@sirbiscuits2442]

@@pastorTracy911 11 now

[@galleryofrogues]

12 now

[@buildawall5803]

Arthur morgan antagonize

[@airbomb34]

The demons learn English at the end. WHAT A TWIST!

[@anonb4632]

They knew English at the beginning though. If what Lydia says is true then they resemble dead people that many of the victims knew.

[@AFarmerCalledChicken]

Anon B so... I'd either see my grandpa or my cat... nice.

[@anonb4632]

@@AFarmerCalledChicken Lydia (the bald guy's wife) saw her mother I think. However I'm guessing she wasn't in a good state.

[@Emzzzzzzy]

Bird Box: Can't see Quiet Place: Can't talk Hush: Can't hear Olympia: Can't even

[@siamsajid4829]

You missed 'the silence'

[@oreemmanuel]

Dont Breathe: .....don't apparently breathe

[@kb-ey2vc]

Don't Breathe: stfu or else you will be artificially impregnated

[@georgefloydgayming227]

@@kb-ey2vc Lmfao

[@jwalkballin]

“What are you, a simpleton?” is literally the best movie quote ever.

[@SheepAmongG.O.A.T]

Only to the simpletons

[@jwalkballin]

Nay unto thee, simpleton.

[@spongebobsquarehead8121]

Best game quote ever: “What in Lucifer’s ballsack was that?!”

[@nigerianprince2995]

W H O L E T THE S I M P L E T O N O U T O F T H E A S Y L U M

[@apseudonym]

T h e S i m p l e t o n s *simpsons theme plays*

[@WeirdDarknessOfficial]

I'm ready to make my prediction for 2019. In October we'll see a dramatic increase in newborn babies being named Boy or Girl.

[@dward1959]

We need a nuclear ww honestly

[@footofjuniper8212]

2029: "Why are you crying, Birdbox Olympia? Did the other boys in gym class beat you up again?"

[@myburn6733]

cringe, what are you? 10?

[@YonderYoshi]

No, the SJWs will pitchfork you for that prediction.

[@tsuyuasui7297]

Marlar House lol, actually boy is an actual boys name in the netherlands.

[@PROFESSIONALDRUNKDRIVER]

Bird box: a zombie movie without zombies.

[@hugoevergaster6201]

Not true, there is one zombie **cough** Olympia **cough**

[@lzylay]

Fax

[@Fredrikbb]

I srsly thought Olympia was a Cow!

[@jberczi6]

Why on Earth is machine gun Kelly in this lol

[@galleryofrogues]

Jack Berczi $$$

[@buildawall5803]

Eminem beef

[@LunarEdge7]

Cuz they needed his skill as a "machine gun".

[@michael2134c]

He’s an actor. You dummy.

[@UbiMore]

MGK: “man we’re so fucked, we’re fucking trapped, it’s the end of the world baby you never know” 😏 gets laid and disappears lol that was his entire script 🤣

[@SunlessPeriwinkle]

don't open the door. I'm gonna open this DOOR.

[@vinnythatonedbzyoutuber5030]

@@anonymanvandare3681 HOLD THE DOORRRR!!

[@mikehoncho5278]

Nice Team Sleep profile picture

[@hatoftricks7132]

@@mikehoncho5278 HOLD THE FUCKING DOOR !

[@Dermetsu]

HODOR

[@iwillbeginagain]

I chimed in with a haven't you people ever heard of...

[@AliKhan-iu5yk]

A R E. U. A. S I M P L E T O N ?

[@ianwhite9826]

Ali Khan bearing that line from John Malkovich was the highlight of 2018

[@darkhoodster7705]

The best line in the movie

[@jeremyjahns8586]

*"I S I T C H U N K Y?"*

[@galleryofrogues]

The Society Show 😂

[@jozzen77]

Perfect timing

[@nikostyleonyomamacoochie8513]

As soon as Girl walked out to find Malori i knew that was Olympias daughter

[@bweany6728]

isnt girl malori’s daughter?

[@awesomegirl5190]

@@bweany6728 No

[@unique7668]

Bird Box: Can't see Quiet Place: Can't talk Hush: Can't hear Raven: Can't shwim

[@somerandomname1902]

Boy and Girl: Can't swim

[@max-rdj9741]

Perfect Sense: Can't perceive

[@cherrycola5309]

Hotel: Trivago

[@mistawithhair9203]

Happy birthday raven

[@TheFunnyGuy9000]

Jaws: can’t go to the ocean

[@b.barnesws8149]

Matt Murdock would thrive in this world.

[@MrKa_Rate]

He would be some kind of high priest to the horrors.

[@randomduck8679]

B.Barnes WS exactly what I thought when I saw the trailer

[@abcron3788]

What if his blindsense was too good though and counted as seeing the horrors?

[@kadijahamad9862]

I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING. 😂

[@ThatGenericPyro]

Daredevil would have a better chance, certainly... But I'm not really sure. If it's as good as it is in the Netflix show (where he actually pretty *clearly* saw Claire way back in Season 1 when he was telling her about himself and we got a quick shot of how he "sees" everything) then it might not help that much? It's anyone's guess, really. Hard to say without knowing the full extent of those things's power to make people kill themselves after they look at them....

[@luizfernandodonascimento3413]

I love the random names you assign the actors. "And then we have OLD WOMAN." 😂😂😂😂😂

[@chrisd2876]

„Randomn“

[@djosearth3618]

- That ironic moment when you remember the narrator whining about characters having names like; 'boy' & 'girl' or even 'old women'. ;]

[@doubtfulhenry]

Oh she's my favorite!

[@MyAverageLife01]

I lost it when he said “You’re doing great sweetie”

[@lel8928]

Lol . I’d like to imagine that girl growing up and watching this video and seeing Marcus diss her

[@codyhamilton7716]

This movie would have been far more interesting if Daredevil was the main protagonist. Edit: Most likes I've ever gotten on here thanks everyone.

[@Peteaguy]

Hahahaha

[@twilitvigil5066]

hey yeah that's a cool ideaaaaOH WAIT

[@ddpamp7962]

Yes

[@dannynanez4036]

While watching this i thought "Damn, DareDevil would T H R I V E in this world."

[@AlkisGD]

Plot twist: if he sees the entities with his ear vision, it's game over for him too!

[@grifgaming436]

Boy and Girl, obviously kratos named the kids

[@anthonyst-pierre4303]

GrifGaming BOY

[@sleepqaralysis]

BOI

[@lol-cs4ss]

B O Y

[@angelstarfire]

I was thinking that the entire time lol

[@brandonwithnell612]

even kratos chose the name Atreus...although he does seem to prefer boy XD

[@robina.c.6380]

Why is nobody talking about him saying "all three of my eyes" wtf XD 15:15

[@plutonka]

Robin A. C. You don’t have three eyes? Weirdo

[@robina.c.6380]

Pluto Pc well I’m sorry, I just assumed we all had six eyes like normal people. Who tf has an odd number of eyes??

[@plutonka]

Robin A. C. me 😞✊

[@robina.c.6380]

@@plutonka aw dude it's cool, I'm sure you'll find a pair of (sun)glasses that are comfortable for you

[@plutonka]

Robin A. C. I hope so too, I can’t stand have a full pair of glasses on and then half of one on my third eye, it’s just awful feeling so inferior to others 😞

[@theob1455]

Why were the characters so annoying? Literally I can’t understand what it was. But when ever someone other then Sandra bullock started talking I started getting super pissed off

[@knight3612]

For me, literally everyone pissed me off, I could not watch it

[@aviona123]

yeah i got pissed off too but i watched it in some party with people who were hyped the whole time so i didnt say anything lmao but same

[@sjbrooksy45]

Only thing I could think to justify it was maybe it was just SB's character's perception of them?

[@drpnasty28]

I think the characters were annoying for 2 reasons. 1. It was meant to be realistic, if youre stuck in a house with 6 strangers, theres a chance that they can be dumb and not think like you. 2. They were meant to show you how dumb thinking doesn't lead to survival in situations like this

[@TTFerdinand]

I only got pissed off when Sandra started nagging at Tom about his story, falsely accusing him of lying - and again, when she herself took up his story and wittingly lied to the kids about it. Hypocritical bitch, giving others a hard time for no reason and then indulging in the exact activity herself.

[@darthjueffjueff_958]

“Why it sucks” “It’s more in the middle”

[@DrJellyFanguzzz]

oh, you know damn why he said that... Wasn't clickbait or anything, or trigger words.. not at all

[@valeoncat13]

@@DrJellyFanguzzz Definitely clickbait, but clickbait isn't inherently bad. Especially in a media climate where most content is free, the whole thing becomes competitive based on who can pull the most people in. The issue arises when the content isn't of quality or is completely unrelated to the thumbnail. But the quality was fine and he still pointed out all the flaws of the movie that could be deal breakers for others.

[@lush2711]

@@ShadowWafflesss it is clickbait.

[@ken-yo2hz]

@@ShadowWafflesss it's clickbait.

[@muntu1221]

@@valeoncat13 Uh, no. Clickbait is understood to be bad, which is why it's named after the concept of eating poison or metal hooks disguised as food. There's getting the attention of your audience, then there's lying. If you say "why this movie sucks", then you say "it doesn't suck at all, it just has flaws", then you knew what you were doing. That would be called a review or a breakdown, and either of those would've brought an audience.

[@kaisac.]

I want a daredevil spinoff of him fighting the bird box monsters

[@salreyes732]

TOP TEN ANIME BATTLES

[@nicolasriveros943]

Too bad it was cancelled :(

[@aliteralhorse5023]

That must be embarrassing; getting your ass handed to you by a blind dude, who's only weapon is two small sticks on a chain. And you are literally Cuthulu.

[@gslinger19]

@@aliteralhorse5023 "I'm a literal GOD!" But I can't physically hurt this man.....shit!"

[@innerpeaceatrest3193]

Cuthulu 1#: Wait! What if we bring in the worshipers! They can swarm the red bit! Cuthulu 2#: WHAT WORSHIPERS?! *Over the clearing of pine trees, the camara cuts to a Worshiper get there head torn off by a blind Punisher* Punisher:REMEMBER BITCHES! I CLAWED MY EYES OUT TO GET YOU COWARDLY FUCKS! AND IM GONNA GET MY MONEY'S WORTH.

[@adjam1991]

"Definitely better than Aquaman." We all know that's not true anymore don't we.

[@dfgs35]

The original book is actually really good and I think the pacing, switching between the future and the present, as well as the character motivations is done a lot better

[@galleryofrogues]

Veronica Manson Yeah I’ve heard good things about the book

[@Adam-wy7mj]

*i'M oPeNiG tHe DoOr* 🚪

[@zanare88]

Hold Door? HOLD DOORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@thomasjefferson2813]

Last night everyone at my house was talking about bird box. Didn't realize it was this big.

[@pinstripecool34]

Real Darth Revan same

[@jamiegreyy]

Consider how big Netflix is and it's kinda obvious

[@jamiegreyy]

@Michel Houellebecq Two things.. Trending, and new content is always at the top of the page when released. Even more so with an actress like Sandra Bullock as the main. Not diminishing it's viralarity though

[@walterhicks5520]

Bullshit.

[@christmastiger]

@@jamiegreyy Well it's new content they want to trend sometimes, and by just keeping it constantly at the top with the trailer running they can hook most curious viewers. Thank god I'm not a Sandra Bullock fan and didn't watch it.

[@TheSeriousSentinel]

*talks about naming the kids “boy” and “girl”* Marcus, OBVIOUSLY they were huge fans of 2018’s God Of War.

[@datmeme8967]

Cheat code: Always listen to John Malkovich.

[@comnic5770]

Boy and girl are like the ice climbers. Edit:Why does this have so many likes?

[@pinstripecool34]

Comnic lmfao

[@ryanmak9476]

Comnic Unlocked then yesterday as Donkey Kong

[@iguessgrass]

Comnic you took my joke kinda

[@seanpiersonjr8964]

@@iguessgrass same

[@ryanmak9476]

CafeSensei The cheese is charged up the punch forward launch headbutt taunt and bring in the pain

[@dawhandaonli5925]

"Are you a simpleton!?" Is pure Comedic and Savage Gold

[@NickTraina]

Owen Willicome based god

[@Aldoz]

Stolen meme from Xenoblade 2

[@jxrr3n]

“Your name is Olympia, named after the sweetest woman I ever met” “-SHUT UP OLYMPIA”

[@mandarinduck]

Its insane to me that they decided to adapt a book where lack of sight is the primary hook into a MOVIE, a VISUAL medium. Clearly they should've made a limited-run podcast.

[@lilia3944]

Well, daredevil makes for a damn good series...

[@leroyp2212]

@Lilia that's about someone who is blind not an entire movie about monsters you never see 😂

[@Isaacreeper]

As an actual swimmer, swimming blind... Aint that bad... If you know where youre going. Never mind you right.

[@Savantics]

@@Hextin Why are you so hostile? Who hurt you

[@arananime3156]

*hextin has left the chat

[@kantoboi9699]

@@ThatPool He deleted is comment what did he said?

[@ThatPool]

@@kantoboi9699 he decided not to read op's comment on its entirety

[@Cemetery._Lady]

@@ThatPool but what did he say exactaly lol

[@atinataylor8616]

Netflix had to save money and make an invisible monster.

[@atinataylor8616]

CrayZ Cookie 👍

[@atinataylor8616]

CharizardDragon Oh my gosh: JOKES!

[@cjcutsforth7016]

@CrayZ Cookie im pretty sure cthulhu isnt from greek mythology

[@imaginationcore2104]

@CrayZ Cookie it's not even a myth it's just a story by hp lovecraft

[@stanktank1730]

@CrayZ Cookie Cthulu is from early 1900s American literature.

[@bella-tt9hk]

Idk, but when we learn the kids’ names I kept thinking, “Yea I read “The Road” too.”

[@KingKimwer]

If there was a cinematic definition of "overrated", it'd be this film.

[@dragonmaster3030]

True

[@astrorbits972]

I was really annoyed that Greg said it was a heat camera but it wasn’t... like,,, he said that right??

[@isaacsmith2997]

I'm right with you there. I was so upset when they showed the monitor and it was literally just an image of outside. He said that he'd just be reading heat signatures or whatever.

[@herborbord8958]

If I remember correctly, he was talking about the image, the monitor's heat, not a heat camera. And it was a plan worth trying to know if you could indirectly see the creature; like the serpent from Harry Potter, which didn't kill if looked through a mirror.

[@isaacsmith2997]

@@herborbord8958 In the context of the situation, "heat from the monitor" makes absolutely no sense.

[@herborbord8958]

@@isaacsmith2997 Monitors emit heat, he was describinn why he thought it would work. He said pixels, heat, i think colors, etc. It makes sense just think about it.

[@mr.struggle7648]

I was so confused to be honest, I'm thinking that maybe he lied bc his husband had died and he wanted to go too......... idek, but that wouldn't make sense either, he could have just killed himself from the beginning. OR NETFLIX OVERLOOKED THAT WHOLE SCENE.

[@valitsaki1924]

John Malkovich character is everyone's thought process

[@jamainegardner4193]

Which was why I rooted for him the most.

[@hrodvithit]

You mean deadpan?

[@nelsonparsifalcantebury5083]

He’s painted as the villainous character... imagine my shock. A bunch of retarded idealists that get everyone killed while the rational, gun toting white guy is supposedly BAD. (Orange man bad)

[@nerdinvader6740]

@@nelsonparsifalcantebury5083 yes, sadly, he was the right guy and Sandra Bullock's character was stupid as hell

[@DavidMartinez-ce3lp]

I actually got mad when he died

[@kayskaht2052]

I’m utterly obsessed with this channel!!!!

[@DaDipinator]

Everyone should have just listened to John Malkovich

[@PlaneetRuk]

Isn't that the subtitle of the script about our reality?

[@jsogaybennett4469]

Douglas

[@sirbeatz3918]

Honestly that’s my life motto

[@Sarahmint]

I loved the metaphors with his response to "why did you have a problem with my expansion" to "because I have to see it" all the way to being told by his murderer "it's a shame you couldn't see it" because the truth is he always did see (the reality of the situation). His bullshit detector went off with the holey story of that man who walked in and the old woman knocked him unconscious, not seeing the obvious

[@kirareilly3699]

You just came up with the new title for this movie.

[@zakarypalacios7687]

To be honest blind people have the advantage in this movie.

[@anthonydominguez4744]

Zachary Palacio you do realize that the blind people are doomed to be easy prey to the people being controlled by the monsters right ? Along with the fact that you have the leader Rick just giving away his position to strangers so they’re all doomed . This movie was just trash .

[@anthonydominguez4744]

Ezra Muluken that literally makes no sense but I mean we’re talking about bird box so I guess making sense isn’t required

[@spoople_doople]

@@anthonydominguez4744The blind would be completly fine because they can't see the monsters (that's kinda the definition of blind) and the people who can still have the blindfolds

[@imlordbacon7473]

Anthony dominguez r/woooosh

[@ramiere1412]

That's basically the ending

[@blakeaustin4250]

The line where you said I’ve tripped and stumbled with the use of all 3 eyes through the Forrest was perfect 😂

[@abbyravenclaw]

You had me at “You’re doing great sweetie” 🤣🤣🤣

[@Aznromeo]

You had me at it's better than Aquaman

[@marksmanstits]

that was like the last thing he said tho...

[@augustuzmoon3814]

Oh boy did that age poorly

[@lightningandthethunder4114]

R u saying that bird box is a good movie cuz if that’s actually what ur talking about then do u not kno that there r so many reviews and they said it’s crap and I agree

[@siwap3809]

KOOK DA RICE

[@xemnahort2]

@@lightningandthethunder4114 he’s saying it didn’t age well because when he reviewed aquaman he discovered he actually likes it

[@generalbutton]

"Bird Box looks like a tv movie for some reason" Isn't Netflix the equivalent of tv nowadays?

[@sancho96]

u mean trash

[@romeoramirez4980]

No it’s an alternative

[@wirtschaft7429]

@@romeoramirez4980 no. TV is the alternative to Netflix now

[@romeoramirez4980]

Sawyer Nolan how

[@RealGermanish]

A lot of Netflix movies (like this one presumably) have way bigger budgets than normal TV movies, so they shouldn't look as cheaply/uninspiredly made.

[@jasonvelez7317]

I love your take and approach to these reviews. Even when I don't agree with you, your justifications are valid enough that coupled the sarcasm and humor you still win me over! Great job and thank you for your content!

[@l_stan9952]

“Olympia is such a great and central character to the story” Are you a simpleton?

[@jamesfernandes9433]

The monsters are just endermen when you think about it

[@bengal4047]

Or bootleg SCP 096

[@somerandomname1902]

You mean slender man. Endermen just have a seizure and run after you.

[@alexvelasquez1749]

What if a slenderman look at one

[@Mystickrage]

@@alexvelasquez1749 insanity and mindcontrol in the weakwilles ones death to those who can fight off his influence

[@cam8842]

That’s almost true and I think that’s hilarious.

[@smellis2564]

Jeez machine gun Kelly left as fast as my dad did

[@geraldsteward8448]

Relatable

[@kevinswackyworld]

Touché

[@tens0r884]

eminem must've entered the chat

[@flamingghottea]

same

[@rctecopyright]

...because....he is your dad?....

[@BalakeFisher]

"I personally have walked around a lot of forests and I've tripped and bumped into things while I had use of all three of my eyes"

[@DanielMartinez-nw1pn]

6:50 "I'm not making a joke this time, that's actually their names" 😂😂😂😂

[@renragged]

I totally agree with the ending. It was way too ridiculous that she could just navigate right to that door blindfolded. Hell naw...

[@iatedanscereal7676]

It made more sense in the book because they had audio playing on loop by the building. Honestly, I don't know why they didn't put that part in the movie. It would have made more sense, and honestly, that part's pretty sad.

[@peppersalt319]

@@iatedanscereal7676 they did....with bird noises

[@iatedanscereal7676]

Pepper Salt its not as effective as the other method though because the birds make noise whenever the monster is near, even when they can’t see it. in the book they had a voicemail from tom playing on loop which made more sense because then mallory would definitely know where to go and there’s be no confusion.

[@raerae1630]

When I saw what the sanctuary was, I really thought the twist would be that they had to be permanently blinded to live in peace from the monsters, like the personal dilemma in that H. G. Wells story.

[@GotitoGaara8]

Yeaah, I honestly had the feeling that they would be given the ultimatum of 'extract your eyes or we won't let you in' kinda shit because being sighted they can still be dangerous to others...

[@noahfatsi7190]

Apparently in the book many survivors blind themselves.

[@ashwhiting7056]

Yup in, the book the sncutary is the same but alot more people blind thesemves in addition to the just blind people. including boy girl and the main character they blind themselves I belive when they get there.

[@justsomedangerbigfootwithweb]

@@ashwhiting7056 i kinda prefer the movie version where boy and girl keep there sight becasue they get to see and play with all the other children like tom said.

[@gRinchY-op5vr]

That's the books ending, thats why

[@spideyxkenshin7157]

Bird box should've been a show, it had the potential. It would've been interesting to watch the people living every day life in a post apocalyptic world.

[@couldntthink]

What was that scene from at 3:06 where the girl's eyes burst into flame?

[@shmekelfreckles8157]

a bit late, but it's an ending of "DyE - Fantasy" music video. It's pretty great.

[@samanthablue9322]

Do not watch it if you get grossed out easy. I first watched when I was a kid and almost freaked out for months. I am an adult now and re watching it just makes me sometimes not wanna be touched my my bf but ehh. I is a good song, and like a old fashioned anime horror like video.

[@hibachi-robo4789]

Алексей Сафронов fucking thank you! I saw this with my ex years ago and couldn’t remember or find it!

[@Devious_Gaming_XD]

I freaking remember seeing this video and freaking out as a kid as well... Was kind of depressing because everyone just freaking dies, and i never understood why.

[@caneloex5897]

@@Devious_Gaming_XD everyone dies?

[@novagalaxy1134]

6:27 Im GUNNA open the DOoR

[@coolmancool29]

Maybe i'm stupid but I thought Malorie named them Boy and Girl so that the entity wouldn't be able to coax them with their name like it tries to do to Malorie...

[@Gisellecollazo]

That was the point, he just didn’t get it cause he’s not smart 💀💀

[@superkamiguru4615]

Interesting theory 🤔But wait couldnt the demons just call out Boy and Girl?? I mean it doesnt really matter if they werent given proper names, thats literally all Malorie called them right? I doubt she ever sat them down and explained that to them or even the importance of proper names

[@coolmancool29]

@@superkamiguru4615 Thats pretty logical and that's what I thought too but then at the end they say "We don't have names" meaning they knew that Boy and Girl were not actual names but just what Malorie calls them. So maybe they can't be tempted because it holds no real weight to them except if Malorie is the one calling them Boy/Girl?

[@ViperCannabis]

Ian Loh Ern i mean, near the end where they were almost at the safe house.. the monster pretty much whispered/shouts all the name that was close to her in some way.. so if "Boy" & "Girl" was close to her (evident of the little speech she gave to make "girl" come back to her), why cant the john cena monster give an exception and whisper "Boy" and/or "Girl"? to Malorie to confuse her'?

[@ClaudiaSandovalZ]

Exactly! Thats why the thing keeps on calling Mal but only calls the kids right at the end of the movie *with Mels voice* (cause shes with them) and not Tom’s, the kids liked Tom the better, his voice would be more efficient in telling the kids to take a look

[@Mad_Oph]

Moral of the story: When John Malkovitch tells you something, you LISTEN.

[@nakedmario6155]

8:16 When My Roommate Invites Somebody Else To Stay

[@nbafortniteepic9316]

Blind people just win.

[@blackshogun272]

zAc0n OP if you were a blind Buddhist Monk that mastered Hand to Hand Combat, Blade Defense, Swordsmanship, and Vibration Detection then you've basically become God on this new Earth 😂

[@lucbos659]

Matt murdock wins

[@bugajpcmr6093]

They have to see this movie

[@jail2634]

@@bugajpcmr6093 keked at that joke :D

[@princevegeta7487]

@@lucbos659 Yeah Matt Murdock would literally be God hahahah

[@BxNcVsper777]

I forgot the bald dude name who lost his wife. But he was right through the whole movie. Calling him an asshole for what, because he spit logic and common sense 😁. If only they had listened to him

[@averinus7706]

Because he's white racist xenophobic Trump supporter. Holy Black man will save the day.

[@stupidgoodsvevo3361]

His name was douglas

[@christophergibbs2616]

His character was actually wrong for most of the movie. Remember he wasn't in his own house, defending his family. He was let into his neighbor's house, who he didn't even like, and then he decided that nobody else was allowed in, even though by that logic he would've been dead before the movie started. His "common sense" was basically him being selfish and getting pissed when other people didn't listen to him.

[@nicholasc.5944]

this is also one thing i love about this movie douglas who plays the asshole was not completely an asshole, unlike in other movies where similar character is usually made into the quintessential dick

[@actionms8566]

@@christophergibbs2616 Judging by all they knew about what was happening when the apocalypse hit, not letting anybody in would be quite reasonable. Also he warned the house owner not to watch the video. He didn't listen and died. He warned the people not to let the obviously shady dude in who ended up killing them all. He also saved Sandra Bullock and died in the process. John Malkovic's character is the unsung hero of this film.

[@maxm2494]

The oddest behavior to me? They're clearly dealing with something supernatural, yet not once do any of them ever pray or make an appeal to God for help, let alone have an intelligent discussion about the nature of the threat they are facing. There's an old saying from wartime "There are no atheist in foxholes." Even if you disagree with that principle, you have to wonder WHY- with the lone exception of the store clerk who writes the fiction/fantasy novels- a discussion on the matter never happens. The only natural explanation I could arrive at was a mass delusion of some sort, but...the people clearly HEAR voices calling to take off their blindfolds, yet the voices don't send them over the edge, so how could that be the case? Yet NONE of them prays, not even the kids? I find that hard to believe. Too bad, it would have been interesting to hear such a discussion.

[@ponkotuu]

Yeah live in the real world Karen. Not everybody is religious. If Mal and Tom wasn't religious why would u think they taught boy and girl about 'God'?

[@maxm2494]

@@ponkotuu That statement doesn't make any sense. You don't have to be "religious" to know when natural laws can't account for something.

[@ponkotuu]

@@maxm2494 ok boomer

[@metanoia3438]

Papapapoww yeah this comeback was trash.

[@JohnDoe-zh6cp]

Why is it that every time we discover something can’t explain yet, the religious people come out and say “hurr durr it must be God or angels or supernatural if we don’t know what it is.” How do you know they’re supernatural? They could be governed by some manner of physics that hasn’t been discovered yet. And if they are supernatural then god allowed them to be there and praying is futile anyway.

[@brickmastere5535]

16:06 Kid's got a fivehead that even extends onto the top of her head lmfao

[@Satherian]

Damn, you right Her hairline is receding faster than my dad's

[@JustinY.]

So it's good. And it's bad. And it's in between.

[@TrusteeNail]

Yes

[@carlosmarioruedalopez4981]

Who r u?? Why do I see you everywhere?

[@_trashmandan_2903]

Oh no

[@curi5672]

Justin Y. Hey

[@quranmccoy5884]

Justin Y. Ugh

[@tea7074]

*My favourite character from the movie is the old bald dude he is literaly me in 50 years*

[@myburn6733]

*_the movie is so forgettable you need a general the description of the character instead of the name_*

[@OrenTubing]

I laughed when he was stupid drunk in the supermarket.. Make end of the world... Great again! Yaaa! Dumbass lol

[@greglapointe1311]

He was the smartest guy in the room, but of course he was the evil white guy in this flick. This movie is leftist propaganda.

[@Ok-eg8dg]

@@greglapointe1311 he's the cliche apocolypse dude. I like his character in apocolypse story cz he makes sense but it's so cliche. The one character that hates everyone apart from maybe 1 person and doesn't care about anyone else and would let everyone random person they encounter die as long as his group survives. His decision is what matters yadyafafa

[@raemiller6035]

John Malkovich is insanely awesome

[@pivorocks]

I was honestly pissed she named Girl Olympia. Her mother wanted to name her Cinderella. Why have a whole scene pointing that out to completely ignore it.

[@Master1Morrison]

I’m happy to not only see your video but also hear my favorite characters theme playing in the background

[@444lilou5]

They could've just docked their boat somewhere earlier before they got to the rapids, left it there and walked on the ground.

[@ryancruz8358]

The demon was basically buttfucking them at the short distance they had to walk at the end you think it wouldn't try for that long of a walk and not succeed? Plus its harder to ya know walk a long ass time through a forest blindfolded

[@444lilou5]

huh...stupid i didn't think that through

[@ryancruz8358]

@@lieutenantgodzilla2420 yeah but them almost taking off their blind folds almost works???

[@TheMistyBlueLounge]

@@ryancruz8358 Eh, a forest is no harder to walk through blind than a ranging river is to swim blind... the forest actually sounds a lot safer lol, even with a persuasive monster.

[@grthorn3461]

Jake Moore The psychological warfare works in this scenario because the kids are easily manipulated and Malorie was mourning Tom’s death, which makes sense here considering she didn’t actually see him die.

[@neoshenlong]

This movie is a MUST SEE for any cinema student. It's really easy to deconstruct and figure out exactly what it is that makes it bad, and figure out ways to make it better

[@Krackerjax]

Thats right, Jay!

[@bergorreynisson9520]

@@Krackerjax I was thinking the same thing.

[@livelongandprospermary8796]

Not a film student but this movie is just too obvious. There’s nothing to think about.

[@jojohakuzho]

Mary Hines except for those stupid people in class who just don’t know or remember shit and are basically brain dead but smh the popular kids in class

[@bugr33d0_hunter8]

Must See!!!! Lmbo, hahahaha, SEE Noooooooo evil, lol.

[@banjod9842]

I wish you did more of the why it sucks series. It’s pretty hilarious.

[@ladyj2552]

"You're doing great sweetie!!"🤣🤣 My son introduced me to you and 4 that, I'm grateful

[@leandropinto138]

banana

[@ssh995]

Nzjsbxjsnxjdjcjnd How could you

[@PsyduckPhrogOnTop]

I dōn't wännä gooo

[@djflapjack4744]

Hotel - Trivago

[@thesleepingpotato2274]

😂 😂 😥😥

[@justsomeguy8385]

Hush is can't hear.

[@coleschubert9868]

Bird box is an average suspense film with some good and bad moments.

[@elevatormusic4000]

Exactly! I have a problem calling this movie a "horror" film.

[@elevatormusic4000]

@@nippohippo7553 Because people will lap up anything that has an original premise.

[@jiggywatt9368]

​@@elevatormusic4000 It's not original though. The Mist. The Happening. That movie where the family couldn't make sounds. A lot of the success is just spending a shit ton of money on a bunch of acclaimed actors and promoting the shit out of it.

[@slimnull8840]

This guy saved everyone a lot of time! More thumbs up for the man w the accurate summary.

[@improbablyyourdad8458]

@@nippohippo7553 suicide always does well on Netflix

[@vice.nor.virtue]

Loved your random reference to the Fantasy music video from Dye at 3:06 I haven't thought about that in years. It's so perfectly lovecraftian and I never new.

[@detonatedmelon8213]

Everybody knows that the monster was the living incarnate of the emoji movie

[@lexluger1095]

“I’ve tripped and bumped into things with the use of all *3* of my eyes.” Lmfaoooo you think u could just SNEAK that past us!?

[@garbage4857]

That was the joke..

[@coinflipwolfe3734]

80% certain replier got wooshed.

[@mjm3091]

He uses his brown eye when he is in the forests. And probably bumped and poked it with a lot of stuff there too.

[@ai_sight]

His third eye is his penis, of course.

[@FallingPicturesProductions]

I drop my pants and use my brown eye to navigate behind me all the time, obviously I'm not the only one.

[@lorenmcmenamie8735]

oh lol i thought olympias name was olivia the whole time

[@flamingghottea]

right?? thought i was the only one

[@manelmanel9635]

Me too thought that was cause I'm not a native English speaker

[@mia-hg1pn]

😂

[@ddavis4730]

Mandela effect. Me too

[@laurelkuyon2556]

loren mcmenamie in subtitles it’s Olympia

[@DelightfulDiscs]

I think my favorite thing about your videos are the sound effects.

[@bubblenarts4904]

“use of all three of my eyes” you’re brilliant

[@timolos]

But Boy and Girl are different. Twice Boy volunteered right away to look and Girl hesitated. Boy is more like Malorie, which makes sense.

[@moe5020]

She didn't hesitate, she looked sad because she understood that Malorie was conflicted about which child to choose and was afraid she would choose her because she loved Boy more.

[@jsogaybennett4469]

Girl is soft like olimpya

[@jsogaybennett4469]

But girl=olimpya wasn't mals child and she thought mal loved boy=tom more

[@HighiamDave]

When he offered it was out of just wanting to please his mother, the girl offered because she understood what was going on and knew the consequences. That hesitation you mentioned was her processing the situation.

[@Muteki_REN]

Yeah it was pretty clear to me that Malorie had more conflicts with Girl which led to their disconnect. Like Girl not listening to Malorie and leaving the boat to try and save her.

[@lhoney309]

IM GONNA OPEN THE D O O R

[@bart234465]

No Moonlight don't!

[@Addyx_00]

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH DOORS 😠☹

[@goodvibes3939]

"You're doing great sweetheart" lol great writing cosmo, keep doing your thing

[@OzMartinez]

5 years later and I just heard the “all 3 eyes while camping” joke… well played, Cosmonaut

[@unholydiver1095]

We live in such a Black and White time. Did you LOVE it? Oh, then you must HATE it?

[@saulloll8547]

Thank youuuuuuuu

[@BiGSmoke-.-]

Good thing Im living in the GREY TIMES! It was alright

[@myburn6733]

the movie was below average but not too sucks i guess

[@sarahcostello1477]

The love or hate opinion is generally more common than a neutral one

[@HuwPewPew]

It's more a time of hyperbole and personal dramatics