CPTSD & HIGH MASKING AUTISM SERIES: 5 SIGNS YOU MAY BE AN UNDIAGNOSED AUTISTIC WOMAN | DR. KIM SAGE

This video is the first in a series of videos that will be sharing my education journey around the relationship between CPTSD and High Masking Autism in those assigned female at birth (afab).
**THERE IS A VERY LONG INTRO INTO THE SERIES - IF YOU JUST WANT THE 5 SIGNS- IT STARTS AROUND 15:25:)
As someone who has specialized in CPTSD, I've had a general understanding around the overlap between CPTSD and ASD, but I want to become more of an expert on the ASD side, especially understanding what it might look like for those who are high masking -- given there seems to be more and more women being late diagnosed with Autism (who may also have CPTSD but may also have been misdiagnosed additionally with diagnoses like BPD, NPD, ADHD, etc.)
For all of you who are already further along in understanding ASD, please feel free to share your thoughts and resources, and please be patient with me as I continue to share what I am learning. Feel free to educate and inform, correct and provide compassion as you see fit.
This is a personal, as well as professional journey I am on too - so I truly hope my journey and your experiences and stories, will help all of us understand our brains and lives in more meaningful ways -so we can also receive the most helpful treatments and resources.
In today's video, I list the resources I have been using, and I will continue to post additional resources as I explore them!
xo
*FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:
www.drsagehelp.com
**************************
Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):
1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA
(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)
2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"
(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).
3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)
CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**
xo
***Please note! I am so sorry but my practice is full at this time and I cannot accept new patients. If you would like to be added to my waitlist, please email me at [e-mail] and I will email you only when a spot becomes available. I cannot guarantee a spot will open, however, so please know I care very much, but am limited at this time given my case load.
* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents (due to state licensing and insurance requirements f

[@morobl350]

1.labeled as sensitive 2.easily overwhelmed by sensory 3. highly affected by the moods of others 4.experience very strong emotions 5.detail oriented 6. difficulty dealing with change 7.love to learn for the sake of learning 8. require a lot of alone time 9. get sick easily and take a long time to heal 10. dislike small talk, but can pretend 11. can hyper focus on tasks they love

[@80ssounds80]

it's me

[@MsKgren]

I'm very interested in this topic,and the traits you mentioned yourself having, I see in myself also.

[@Allison_White]

@@80ssounds80Ditto.

[@PaulandGen]

Haha me! xxx

[@jessicatsao92]

Wait, is this autistic or overly sensitive? A lot of these traits are shared by empaths and conscientious people.

[@WarriorStrong7278]

I have wondered this for so long. I question- “Do I have autistic symptoms because I was traumatized or was I traumatized because I am autistic?” I have done a lot of research and was going to undergo testing but it is very costly, and was afraid of being misdiagnosed. Yes, please do more videos on this.

[@violetproxy888]

I believe both things could be true in a way, trauma can make things worse and people with even the lowest of autism symptoms can be taken advantage of by people who can basically sniff it out or react to certain symptoms with abuse or manipulation. It's so very complicated, but really both things can be true, I suggest therapy for the trauma especially and doing what you can for managing your autism until you can find someone who can help you with both or figure out if you really want to be formally diagnosed (not everyone does, but still want resources). Good luck with everything

[@neuroticnation144]

People are born autistic, it’s genetically inherited. Trauma makes it worse. I don’t know if trauma can make you more autistic, but it’s an interesting question.

[@gaylewatkins6781]

TOTALLY..me too

[@allisonmccune9556]

I figured out that I had Asperger’s syndrome. My mother was a geriatric mother when she gave birth to me. She was 37, getting ready to turn 38. I’m an only child. I have had problems connecting with my peers. I have always been around people that are older than me. My last three long term relationships, the men have been 10-11 years older than me. This also explains all of my muscle, joint and back problems. I just turned 29. I would love to know what an actual body of that age feels like. I tried explaining my aches and pains when I was a teenager. I was just told that they were growing pains. Growing pains should eventually go away right? “You’re too young to have pain.” Okay, well I still have it. Am I too young still?!

[@FreezyPeach11.11]

I second this comment 👍👍

[@jrbracy]

I stopped trying to fit in long ago but it still hurts that I don't seem to fit in anywhere! I am happiest and most comfortable at home and always feel alien outside of that. This was a bullseye for me, I've never considered hf autism, only instead identified with hsp, anxiety, easily depressed, easily triggered, etc. This might be the start of a deeper understanding and acceptance of my strange self. Thank you 💙

[@minagica]

You're not alone! Know that you are not alone! A bunch of us are struggling with this

[@JenniferWilliams-bb7hi]

I really relate to your comment @jrbracy

[@brianwicks7015]

What you wrote feels like it came from my own mind. This is exactly how I am too. I have been considered different and ‘difficult’ since I was born. I never considered hf autism but I have all 5 traits in abundance. It helps to know I am not alone even though it has taken me over 60 years to find this. Good luck in your journey towards understanding and acceptance

[@nellpulaski4919]

I'm learning more compassion for myself and others.❤

[@Artsylady2030]

@@brianwicks7015 same with me but better late than never.....people always tried to make me feel BAD about being different ..I can't tell you how much extreme abuse I have endured.....SMH.....not sure how I made it this far......

[@icykalmc]

Thank you! I'm a black woman from the UK. I'm 41 and my diagnosis for over 20 years have always been anxiety, OCD and depression. This week my therapist asked me some key questions about my sensitivities as a child. After my answers, she said that it was autism 101! Mindblown!

[@musicteacher5757]

icykalmc, We are in this together! I have seen several psychologist over the years, I'm almost 70. NOT ONE suggested I might be autistic. My problems were blamed on past child abuse and depression. You have my sympathy. Autism studies in the U.S. are decades behind the U.K. I hope you get some good help.

[@Leeta]

Me too...about to turn 50 and in the U.S.

[@chickadee317]

How did you get a therapist, NHS or private?

[@scablet]

what happens after diagnosis?

[@Foxy_ladyYTSL]

@@chickadee317uk here. Usually private. NHS is for in patient only and what there is for GP referrals is limited to CBT only , if you can wait. The nhs list can be long depending on where you live. Go to the bacp - British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists ( UK only) for local therapists near to you.

[@Bittagrit]

Was diagnosed as “high functioning “ autistic at 60 yrs old. A year later, still confused. Sensory triggers get me and always have. Sickly childhood and a Mom that was always afraid I would die. Never fit in anywhere, no one understands and depression sets in. Panic disorder, IBS, Esophageal Dysphasia. My coping is art, my Service Dog, gardening, and I’m a crazy chicken lady. Life is interesting.

[@HomeFromFarAway]

it may be more likely you are Aspergers spectrum and nit autistic. they really are different despite the horrible DSM conflation

[@Bittagrit]

@@HomeFromFarAway was diagnosed by psychologist that specializes with patients on the Spectrum.

[@Historian212]

@@HomeFromFarAwayAsperger’s is part of the autism spectrum, the very high functioning part. In the US we suffer because now, psychologists aren’t allowed to diagnose Asperger’s; they must diagnose ASD. Many of us in this situation (I’m 67 and got tested about 4 yrs ago), are being given the diagnosis of NVLD - like comedian Chris Rock - because of this change in the diagnostic criteria. But NVLD is not in the diagnostic manual yet, so we have a developmental disorder but aren’t able to get services w an NVLD dx. It’s a mess. My diagnostician even told me she’d give me the Asperger’s dx, but she can’t at this time. In the US.

[@bridgetsieger2261]

Wow. We have so much in common down to the chickens and gardens and dogs (oh my).

[@WVgirl1959]

I don't know that I am autistic but I seem to like to hang around with people who are like that. Wouldn't it be nice if you had a group of people who would like to talk about interesting things and share knowledge? I asked a group of friends how much they would pay to see a documentary and they asked if alcohol was going to be involved. Otherwise, they said they wouldn't be interested. I don't drink but don't care if you do although I do partake of cannabis but not to where I am completely out of it. 😊 But trying to find like-minded people at 64 is very tough especially, the smarter crowd.

[@lunahart]

Friend, you are talking about me. I am finally getting diagnoses at nearly 65 years old that are making my entire life make sense. This is incredibly valuable material, and I'm really looking forward to more!

[@lunahart]

And the list of five things....reads like my list of my medical and psych diagnoses from the time I was little. I have every. Single. One. Incredibly validating!

[@CLPrice55]

Same here! So happy to see this. Age 69

[@susanwingblade1799]

I have ALL of these symptoms. I love that you're doing a deep dive into this topic. I can so relate to every single thing you talked about. Thank you so much for all of your work. This is so validating!

[@deborahbrasket21]

Same ... 66. I've been seeing some professional, reading on my own, questioning, wondering, and agonizing over all the mentioned....since I was 18. Thanks for the video.

[@tiar476]

This is me to - 65, always knew I didn't fit in with my 6 siblings and with growing up. Physical and mental torture all my life I just thought I couldn't cope and I was losing my mind. Good to know I'm not. Here's to our healing. 🥰🤗

[@HaShomeret]

I've been working with Autistic people professionally for over 25 years without figuring out that I'm Autistic. We give the DSM a lot criticism and rightly so but the change in the way we approach autisim has directly allowed me and many others to access the adult autism community. Welcome to the community! Thank you for your vulnerability, I connect to your journey. Also I feel like the most female autistic part of the video is the constant apologizing for being excited about a new hyperfixation.

[@heatherrae4126]

I never even really knew what autism was until my son was diagnosed. When I started my research about autism, I realized how much of it resonated with me and my life. I’m autistic…not diagnosed by a dr but I just know I am…it makes so much sense now.

[@ak.l6792]

Thank you for sharing. I was a very shy, quiet but happy and extremely creative child. My mother was the same. She killed herself in 1988. I was two years old. I nor my family members ever got any help for dealing with the trauma until me and my sisters were adults. My first burnout was when I was in college. I got diagnosed with CPTSD. I had 8 yaers of therapy and tried every drug you can think of. I was a dentist in Finland. Continued to burn out year after year and got treated by many doctors and therapists. A few years ago I got diagnosed with ADHD. I had demanding and borderline personality disorder and continued to burn out. I had to quit my job and got a profession in the laboratory field. I burnt out. A year ago my new doctor brought up autism. Yeah, five weeks I got officially diagnosed with autism. And trauma. Not everything is due to trauma although they do lap. After fifteen years with misdiagnosis, everything makes sense now. I'm trying to drop the masks and trying to figure out the real me. I know I'm very creative and have extreme interests. With ups and downs. I accept that now. I burn out around people and it's not going to change. I hope your video will help someone. I'm the person you are talking about. Sorry for my grammar. I'm not very good at English.

[@isabellabrook8932]

PTSD, Anxiety, complex trauma, and depression has been impairing a lot of people around the world and mostly these are affiliated to autism and ADHD, microdosing phsyciedlics or using cbd products like cbd gummies or cbd oil has been of great help to us, I was struggling for years but now I'm more creative and productive. You see psychedelics does a lot more good than harm, it's very good for brain chemistry and I feel there’s more to it we’re yet to discover.

[@teddcraycraft5297]

@@isabellabrook8932i have read an article online on how effective microdosing medicinal mushroom can be , I don't have a way to get one around me or an online store . Can you help with that please?

[@isabellabrook8932]

....On instagram. Been using his product on my 5 years old autistic daughter and it's really helping.

[@veronikaljungberg7149]

Wow my story is quite similar. My mother ended her life in 1987 when I was 2 years old. I still had a good childhood until I was about 10, that's when things started getting just worse and worse. I never understood why nothing worked and why I hated parties/socializing, with a few exeptions. Turns out I have autism level 1.

[@ak.l6792]

@@veronikaljungberg7149 Oh wow! I've always felt like I was the only one in the world who's mother has committed suicide.. Thank you for your reply. I think my mother definitely had ASD. Nobody knew that she had any kind of mental issues until she died. I think she couldn't handle the stress with us kids and work. And my dad is totally blind to other peoples emotions and needs. He most likely is also on the spectrum. Do you know what happened to your mother? Would you like to chat about this?

[@shewho333]

Hi! It’s ME 👋 but only after having 3 autistic kids did I realize that not only did I have an incredibly abusive mother, but I had a terrible time trying to please the teachers and make friends all through school…which should have been my safe place.

[@neuroticnation144]

It sounds like it definitely runs in your family, which is normal for autism. I feel for you. My mothers autistic, I’m autistic and at least two of my children. It’s a hard life.

[@incognito3599]

@SheWho I can relate so much!🖤

[@MyrrhdeMarmion]

OMG, I am overjoyed to have found you! I've spent the last three hours on New Year's Day binge watching your videos. Everything you have said here is "me" -HSP (back in the 50s being "sensitive" was not tolerated at all) -Significant childhood emotional/sexual abuse -I was a "cutter" as a child -Mother was also sexually abused in childhood and was off the rails. Angry, abusive. My Dad was my rock. -Myers Briggs: INFJ (Heyoka) -CPTSD diagnosis -Highly intuitive; I am an alternative intuitive healing practitioner -EVERY WEIRD SOUND drives me crazy, very strong emotions, and highly attuned to others' energies -In & out of therapy all through the 70's & 80's. Then I called a halt and learned to start loving and accepting myself. Lifetime endeavor. Now I am Zena Warrior Goddess... Everything you have shared in all of the videos I've watched today are me. Lots of tears of gratitude. I'm 65 now and what a great gift to start the New Year, knowing that I've discovered and integrated a huge part of myself ! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! ~Myrrh

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

@MyrrhdeMarmion I 100% relate to so much that you have said here! Thank you! 😊

[@Jodarcy11]

This video is exactly what I was looking for. I’ve just turned 42 and it has been a HARD road to this point. Over the last few years I’ve diagnosed myself with C-PTSD, ADHD, and now I’ve self-referred for ASD. The first two have already been confirmed and I started medication for ADHD earlier this year but there are still questions. It’s so exhausting having to do all this work alone without - and often in spite of medical professionals’ support so being able to access others who are going through the same thing is such a great comfort and help. Thank you for doing this in the way you’re doing it xxx

[@pipwhitefeather5768]

YES! We basically have to research for ourselves what is going on for us - it's almost as if the medical professionals don't really care about anything except the pharmaceutical profit margin! (extremely sarcastic tone) Well done to you, and all of us that are working it out for ourselves. I tried many times through the years to get help, all of them just said I was anxious or hormonal, I had pre-menstral dysphoria too. One doctor said, after I explained that I get super self conscious around people, 'well it's very egotistical to think it's all about you'. That messed me up for years. I learnt there was no help from them! We know who our people are now x Much love and empathy x

[@electrakyriazis6794]

Thankyou so much for your work and openness, I am 52 and became aware of cptsd a few years ago it was a huge relief to read about symptoms that I believed were brought on by myself I have been so overwhelmed for so long and anxious I think I have masked for so long. I am exhausted I find social interactions exhausting. I am constantly hyper vigilant for danger. I feel very alone I dont wish to be alone but I struggle with being with people. My body has stored so much tension in my back and hips especially its so good to realize that I am not just weird and lazy Thank You from my heart❤

[@DrKimSage]

Hello all of you beautiful humans--I am deeply moved and inspired by all of you in this comment section, and what you are sharing here with all of us. I keep reading your stories and honestly, it's been overwhelming. This is by far the scariest video I have ever posted, especially when you consider that before the last 3 years when I started here, I had never posted anything really online about myself or my family...nothing personal. I love you all so much, I really do -- it makes me quite emotional....thank you for being you, and I am sorry for all the pain and suffering your own lives have held...you are not alone, and it was never your fault. You and I were just wounded children, and then we were often just wounded children inside adult bodies seeking love and healing--- and in some places we received it, and in others we were traumatized again. I look forward to learning and sharing more together...I am reading and researching up a storm, and trying to map out how to share more! ♥🙏❤

[@meganhobza]

I haven't watched a video that made me *think* so much in a long time. I never could endure having a boss (hello HSP), so I became a consultant in my early 20s. I was always good at my work (proposal writing) but finding the focus to do hours and hours of paid work was always a challenge. Being diagnosed with ADHD over a decade ago, in my late 30s, was life changing. Getting access to medication in my 40s led to my life slowly stabilizing to the point where I now, in my early 50s, no longer live in poverty. I'm also now able to pick and choose clients whose work I care about so deeply that getting focused is more natural for me. A double-diagnosed friend (ADHD/ASD) recently suggested that, given the 60% overlap between ADHD and ASD, I was more likely than not to have ASD. Your video made me think about what I might be masking. For sure I masked my lack of attention span through elementary and secondary school, college, and graduate school. I was labeled gifted; my BPD parents expected me to deliver on that and dismissed my struggles. Being unable to deliver on people's expectations has been a cause of meltdowns, for me. However, ADHD doesn't seem to be the cause of things that make me feel alien, like disassociating at live shows and getting overstimulated in general in busy environments. I also find allosexuality alienating and wonder if my demi-sexuality is simply a part of HSP. Therapy has taught me to recognize my triggers and acknowledge my feelings while regulating my emotions. The fact that this practice has become a special interest of mine does not escape me, in the context of your video. I also have special interests in conflict resolution and pursuing the mental state of inspiration. I'm highly artistic and a solver of complex problems. I see the blueprint of "solution universes" very clearly in my head (this is why I write proposals). My therapist has suggested that being hyper-analytical is a coping mechanism of people who are highly emotionally sensitive. There's a link there to hyper-preparedness / following mental contingency threads in the wake of trauma. There is, surely, also a link somewhere between that overfizzing of the left brain and the deep hunger for right brain activity. The older I get, and the better I get to know myself, the less patience I have with people who do not listen and with the feeling of being unseen/unheard. This has led to having much better and closer friends than when I was younger -- and just as you describe, I arrange to see them almost exclusively one-on-one. I'm living alone for the first time in my life (because my finances finally allow it) and it charges my batteries so hard. So yes, a lot of what you described in your video resonated with me. I hope to hear more from you about high-masking ASD in women. There are so many insightful comments on this video, too, that it would be interesting to hear your review of them. Looking forward to the next:)

[@belovedinjesuschrist]

❤ God bless you dear

[@Iris-kc8mq]

This and your other video about cptsd/autism touches on how many women get misdiagnosed as bpd. I hope you can research that specifically and make a video. I am both realizing things and getting more confused. I think I have autism and adhd, ( sure I can be wrong but it would explain so much) or had, but after a life of difficulties have developed c-ptsd or bpd. I am so good at masking I cant stop doing it, but it drains me. I have been diagnosed as unspecified personality disorder. They cant say what is what. Im both to good at masking, to good at talking and to broken to get a diagnosis, yet feel the PS diagnosis doesnt help me at all.

[@nellpulaski4919]

Yoú are brave and inspire me. All coming together for me this last month. Cannot tell you how validated and supported by these vids. Sure not getting it anywhere else. Thank you Doc.

[@danieledesrochers]

💝

[@PaigeNewberry]

You are me. I’m a psychotherapist in Texas. I’ve been sickly my whole life. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease 8 years ago, and I’m pretty sure I’m level 1 autistic. I was so pleased that you shared about your daily struggles, because most therapists don’t share publicly like that. I don’t! I am afraid that my clients will see me as “broken“ and if they can’t trust me, how can I help them? The fact is that I have done more healing work than anybody I know. I am stable despite extensive CPTSD and other chaotic life challenges. I have been able to set my life up so I can function with my illness and my personality. I’m very high functioning. But underneath it all, there are days that I just don’t fucking feel good. (I don’t have any negative self talk anymore… all those neurotic unhealthy behaviors have been healed long ago. I still do personal work every day on communication, self-care, any triggers that might come up… Etc. ) But sometimes I just struggle with my body! Sometimes I struggle with being alone without a partner to help me. I don’t have a safe place to share this. Does anyone know of any support groups for high functioning, highly self-aware people who had a CPTSD past, highly sensitive, are probably on the autism spectrum, and who struggle with masking? Any help would be appreciated! Love, Paige

[@PaigeNewberry]

@@nankarl2512 I’m down! It’s nice to connect with someone so similar to myself. How do you manage your client schedule? I’ve just taken 2 weeks off for treatment for Lyme disease, and I’m terrified to go back on Monday. These are the things it’s hard to talk about with other folks because no one understands. Where do you live?

[@Brittwhales]

I like @momonthespectrum (Taylor Heaton) on KZbin. She is helpful and directs people to a community where they can share the autistic experience.

[@katrinamchyde3994]

I loved this video! I love that you share the real you here. The real you is awesome! ❤

[@CF-wn2ce]

Following this thread. I left Facebook with my last burnout. I am an ex-BCBA with a doctorate who is now medically retired due to many of the autoimmune issues you described and more. My EMDR therapist is always taking notes on my autistic behaviors and challenges while treating my trauma. I'm definitely undiagnosed autistic who was described in this video.

[@itsreallymewhitney]

God Bless you for sharing this joe the symptoms you shared sound similar to me I was diagnosed with ADHD. I've done alit of healing as well. Share with your clients that would be very relatable. Also may I ask... I mean how did you come across this!?

[@aspiringalchemist8398]

Look at this Kim! 1.7 thousand comments! You followed your intuition making this video and you were absolutely spot on about how much it was needed. Good on you!!! Bravo! I was diagnosed a year ago at the age of 54 with basically Aspergers (although they don’t call it that anymore) and ADHD. And I most certainly also have CPTSD. I did indeed love Elaine Aaron’s work on the highly sensitive person during the 90s. As I sat listening to this video, I just kept thinking oh, how I would love to have coffee with Kim. We would have SO much to talk about! I do hope that you continue to speak on this subject. As you can see, it has been not only well received, but it is much needed. There’s plenty that I could say here, but mostly, I just wanted to thank you for your courage in making this video, to ask you for more of this content and to sing your praises! Thank you for your courage and for listening to your intuition. When more of us do this, we all help one another more than we know! Keep in mind you were born to shine, and be exactly who you are. The world needs you exactly as you are. I am saying this now to all of you reading it. The world may have been cruel to you because you didn’t fit into their cookie cutter mold, but that’s because you are uniquely you and you have so much to share! I am sending so much love to each and everyone of you! 🙏🏻🥰

[@musicteacher5757]

❤️ We have gifts that normies will never have. One of them is being our unique selves, because we lack the instinct to submit to social 🤣 "norms"🤣 which are frequently NOT healthy-normal. We read and hear older adults (I confess!) who say they wish they had been true to themselves instead of submitting to social norms. Most of them were probably Aspies who had masked all of their lives. Be yourself! It's the greatest gift you will ever have.

[@estherreinholt2839]

I can’t even begin to describe how I resonate with your videos. I’m over 40 and have just been recently diagnosed with ADHD. The psychiatrist said he also thinks I’m on the spectrum. You are putting in words so many things that are going through my head.

[@starqueen5141]

Thank you for your deep dive into this topic. I am a level 1 autistic women 50 yrs old. I did 1 yr psychodynamic therapy with a psychiatrist after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Realising something was deeply wrong, having masked all my life and trying to hide and deal with my childhood complexed trauma. I have also raised two sons single handed, one has undiagnosed Aspergers, he's 23 doing a masters in philosophy. My youngest son has just received a late dignosis ASD at 16 after having a psychotic episode. I too experienced the psychosis when l was 18. Thankfully my psychiatrist picked up on this, l was in therapy at the time. I was convinced l was a narcissist. Having put the dots together, l had a light switch moment and realised l have autism. This explained the strange fixations l have with special interests and not much need for social interaction. Feeling strange, not fitting in in work places. Being bullied in the work place masking depression and anxiety for most of my life. I am mixed race and sons are 3 quarter black. That explained why they slipped through the system going undiagnosed, due to biased education environment. I live in the UK, and finally felt like l found the missing Jigsaw puzzle. I spent my savings on going private during the lockdown to get an autism diagnosis. Which was mostly conducted online. I should have researched better but was desperate and the lady sounded nice on the phone, my naivety kicked in and l was misdiagnosed. This plummeted me into a spiritual of depression and feelings of suicide, l couldn't function l felt so burnt out. In the mean time my youngest was trying to adapt to being a teenager, on antipsychotic meds, thankfully he had an amazing psychiatrist who fast tracked him for his ASD screening. I had slipped into mild psychosis. Of which l have always experienced throughout my life, although lm able to manage it and get myself regulated. I haven't been able to go back to work since cancer, lockdown, therapy and the realisation that not only am l on the spectrum but l have raised two sons who also are. My extended family trauma is huge, l am seeing repeated cycles in my parents grandchildren. The system is very biased, honestly l don't like to think about it, my brains feels like a ball of wool all tangled. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, and various life events, l also have ADD, which was removed from the DSM 5, leaving only ADHD! On a bright note, l have a tonne of special interests, including psychology that keep me regulated and focused. I now understand why my life has been the way its been. I'm better able to support my youngest son. I am so grateful that you understand and are diving deep. We need research papers articles, and more awareness of ASD in black and minority communities and how this looks when we are born into disfunctional environments, better screening for women in this category. I would like to go back to work, but currently suffer with avoidance due to trauma in my last work place, l had just started as a palliative nurse, newly qualified! My pin has now lapsed!! My life feels broken but at the same time l can see the rainbow 🌈 in the sky, o finally know what's wrong with me. I'm a high functioning autistic women who is f*** up in the most beautiful way, lm artistic, sensitive and very gifted in many areas. If anyone reads this thank you for listening to a little bit of My Story🌈🧞‍♀️🌹🥰

[@debbielloyd3511]

❤

[@swannoir7949]

Thank you. Maybe this is the reason why I'm so 'weird.' Been misdiagnosed all my life, and I'm 50. I'm Black, too, so I know the struggle in the mental health system. One psychiatrist wrote in my chart that my family history was 'non-contributory', totally dismissing everything I told him about my dysfunction and psychologically damaging environment growing up and into my adulthood. But the truth is, the system want us to remain dysfunctional so that we can't thrive and succeed. That angers me, because had I had access to better care, and interventions, I could've really had a shot at life.

[@starqueen5141]

​@@swannoir7949 lm so sorry that you have suffered. The system is all that we have and at the same time it's also broken.

[@swannoir7949]

@@starqueen5141 Yes, I know. And thank you. What's more broken is my faith, in hope and belief, and wondering why 'God' (I call him The Creator) sends people to help some, and not others.

[@crystalducharme939]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤(((((💗)))))

[@CLPrice55]

69 yrs old and diagnosed with ASD. High anxiety. Chronic life abuse. Thank you for addressing these issues!!!

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

As an autistic/aspergers woman (diagnosed at 44) I just can't thank you enough for creating a series of videos about autism. I think this series will make such a difference to many, many autistic peoples mental health and may even save lives. As an experienced and eminent psychologist, you are helping us put our own thoughts and feelings into words and sentences that will then help us to communicate to others and feel so much more empowered. But I still can't find the words to thank you enough!! 😊😊

[@northnyx]

I’m almost 53, and feel seen for the first time. I actually have tears, and….can I risk…. Hope. THANK YOU

[@freeandfabulous4310]

This is an amazing conversation. I have always felt different and acted differently from “regular” people. I have a few symptoms from HSP and Autism. I experience a few odd triggers, highly intuitive, able to read others and am affected by it, Difficulty moving to self regulation when upset, high anxiety but I control it and mask in general, difficulty with all relationships, I also have a non verbal leaning disorder. I also have a masters degree and am an LMFT. Also an amateur watercolor artist. No one believes I have a LD as I mask all of my symptoms really well but internalize them and feel terrible about myself. I’m very healthy but don’t sleep well at all. Maybe we here could serve as a study group? Thank you for addressing this issue!!

[@PlumGustave]

Oh you sound beauuutiful ✨

[@elsagrace3893]

That’s a mighty broad claim @4310freeandfabulous. What is your evidence that you are so different from other people? Your feelings are not evidence. I see a million people on here claiming the same thing as you. The SAME thing.

[@25718]

@@elsagrace3893 Why would anyone need evidence when expressing a feeling? Maybe people following dr Sage´s channel, commenting on here, claiming their struggles, actually are different from "other people"? Or at least feel different from other people? Maybe "other people" share the same struggle, then wouldn´t it be nice if we start reflecting on it? If we felt like we fit in, maybe we would watch a movie or have a barbecue with our neighbours instead of spending time on this channel? 🌸💮🏵

[@ginalangston9428]

​@Lorraine Eggson Are you seriously stating someone need present YOU evidence ? On their emotional state of existence? Evidence that they feel different? Well, you aren't entitled to this so called proof. Should you ever need evidence of narcassistic behaviors, you have my permission to use my response as evidence. I think YOU are different yet you sound JUST LIKE so many other incompassionate, socially awkward entities who have such a sense of entitlement that us "normal" people are actually embarrassed FOR you. Your comment is so cringy that I'm going to chalk it up to the great possibility that I am trying to reason with a bot as humans do not require evidence of emotional intelligence.

[@SnuhpiMcFinn]

@@25718 well said

[@AnaAlmeida001]

You are a very sweet person. I’m 50 and I completely relate to HSP, ADD and autism spectrum disorder symptoms. I’m not worried with getting a formal diagnosis. The most important thing for me is to be more aware and to be able to accept myself as I am and stop judging myself so much and trying excessively to fit in. Thank you so much❤

[@ingridfischer3432]

I'm the same - although I'm only 21. I'm not sure whether a diagnosis would help me or not (in a workplace it's usually a "disadvantage" to have a diagnosis, that's why I'm hesitant about getting one), but I'm sure it wouldn't change people's opinion about me, or their behaviour towards me. I'm afraid people wouldn't care about my diagnosis, they still wouldn't understand/accept me - and the ones that already understand and accept me would still love me regardless of a diagnosis. So I decided not to get a diagnosis, and I try to become more mindful instead. My family is full of social people that like hugs, kisses on the cheeks, to speak loudly, etc. (these things really drain me), and I don't think they would change if I told them that I have a diagnosis and I hate hugs, kisses, babel of voices, phone calls, loud music, and big crowds... It's a great thing that I still have loved ones, but I often feel like I just "tolerate" them instead of truly loving them.😅 I usually feel a lot of shame because hugs and kisses on the cheeks, that's how they show their love. And I just tolerate their love instead of being happy because of it. As I get older, it also gets harder and harder to understand the behaviour of girls/women. In the past a lot of my friendships with girls ended with a fight (I didn't understand them fully) , so I'm actually quite anxious about making friends with girls/women. Although I like being alone, it's sometimes lonely without friends who actually get me - whether I really have autism, or am just a little weird. But I figured it's a me problem. So I just try to set boundaries and do a lot of self care in order to not get drained so often. And mindfulness practice to understand myself better. Sorry for the long comment, I just resonated with yours.😅

[@hopeforthefuture1155]

Gosh you said what I'm feeling too. It will get better.

[@johnjohnson5028]

​@ingridfischer3432 I suggest that you do not choose to live your life without a diagnosis or treatment. Fifty years ago, I was advised not to seek treatment. /end

[@RebeccaJaneF]

​​​@@johnjohnson5028 .but what treatment is really an option? And why is the diagnosis that important? Thank you (am asking as I am wondering about a close personal relationships have with someone i suspect is on the spectrum but he is in denial aged 54)

[@ann-mariegavette7669]

Hello. I consider myself an expert on autism. I actually have two boys on the autism spectrum. I have worked with professionals for the last decade to help them with their biochemical imbalances and to help them with their neuropsychiatric condition, sensory issues , social skills etc. Before I had children, I worked specifically with children with autism. I found them fascinating and interesting. I am currently working on getting SPED license. I am also currently being treated for CPTSD and decided to check out your video. Every single symptom you described regarding highly sensitive person and potentially autistic person is right on point! I do know the epigenetic roots of my children's autism. I know that my father was a behavioral geneticist, although I never met him. Watching your video helps me understand myself better. I am also sending it to my partner who often does not understand why I need so much alone time and why I am so sensitive. Thank you for posting this! Very helpful!!

[@lovetolaugh1956]

I was diagnosed with CPSTD 12 years ago at 55. In my work with my trauma therapist I mentioned I thought I was high functioning autistic. Her response was you probably are. I would appreciate you doing more videos about correlations between CPSTD & high functioning autism. Your list describes me to a tee.

[@extracelestial9527]

I had absolutely no clue. Zero. None. I never considered that I could be autistic on any level but as you described the symptoms and characteristics of a female with low level autism, there it was in big, bold, red, flashing neon lights. I'm definitely going to follow you on this journey. 💛 Thank you.

[@evas214]

I certainly identify with all of the HSP traits and was recently diagnosed with CPTSD after years of being misdiagnosed with depression/anxiety due to traumatic childhood. Actually I diagnosed myself first as finally things made sense due to my own research, and then it was later confirmed by a professional. However, recently learning more about autism, I also see the overlaps, as well as many contradictions. One of the things that confuse me the most is the following: autism was long associated with the struggles of decoding other people’s emotions. HSP on the other hand are seen as able not only to recognise, but also feel other people’s emotions, and in Elaine’s research they reported that HSP’s have more mirror neurons amount/activity in the brain compared to non HSP’s. At the same time, it is clear that the more sensitive one is, the more easily traumatised, especially if raised in the abusive/neglectful environment, which then leads to being even more easily overwhelmed , and once that happens - it’s hard to decipher other people’s emotions, as you basically project your trauma on them. So it all becomes a blur, where is trauma, where is sensitivity, where is your own emotions, where is others. I do however think that the above description , regardless of the label, to me signals that it’s not us who are the problem, but it’s the rest of the world who are not sensitive enough. If this phenomenon gives the creative artistic, as well as the intellectually bright people, why is it seen as something problematic? Perhaps it’s what the rest of the humanity should strive towards, not trying to get rid of.

[@captainbarbosa6567]

❤️

[@tzign1592]

I would love to shout this from every roof top and mountain! We need answers and to be educated. As a ND person, I understand a lot of the NT ways of thinking, but I know they don't understand my ND way of thinking. Could we at least try to meet in the middle... Please?

[@gaylewatkins6781]

I just don't fit in anywhere.... my ND brain is my best friend.. only friend ..

[@motherearth888]

Great points and yes i love how information contradicts other information makingbit easier to dismiss people and saying oh you dont have that and if you do heres an antidepressant. But yes the autism and not being able to read others also confused me as well cause I notice the slightest and even perceived change in someone. Some might have undiagnosed alexithmia which is basically low empathy and the inability to understand one's emotions or what other people are feeling. Adhd is basically a hormone issue and even with taking a stimulant and leveling your dopamine levels to what everyone else has one will lack executive function or struggle with task initiation if they were never taught how to deal with it so if we apply common sense and alexithmia has to do with low empathy a person maybe suffering from hormone defiencies from oxytocin. They have a nasal oxytocin but even taking meds is not gonna give you the skills if you were not trained coached or parented.

[@shioniggy9325]

I've actually been reading some threads on reddit and there were autistic people commenting on how most of them can actually "read" others emotions, its just not as intuitively as non autistics tend to do it. They may need more guidance on how to do it... cause the way the brain learns it's different. Also, this is my own thinking but most people hide their emotions so its hard to read them correctly because maybe im sensing ur feeling a certain way but your words and global actions say otherwise and then its just so confusing... most neurotypical people do this a whole lot!! 🫠 Also if we are talking about autistic women let's not forget the social pressure to understand others emotions is higher so it is easier to learn all that stuff from a younger age! And then they become high masking. I hope what im saying makes sense 😅

[@LoriG75]

Wow, everything you said resonated 100% with me. From the constant illness as a child to wondering why it’s always been so difficult to make friends. Everything you said is “me”. Just hearing that I’m not alone is huge for me.

[@OmahaGirl]

I felt every single solitary word of this…even the exact moment you teared up….in my core. MY. CORE!! I’m 48 and have never felt so seen in my life! You are not alone in ANY of this!! So glad I found you ❤

[@ItsjustBeth-wk6qi]

I was diagnosed at 46 after both of my boys 23 & 9yrs old were. We are all ASD1, ADHD. I finally felt like my life made sense. I have always known I wasn’t like others around me. It’s incredibly important to get diagnosed early so you can set your life up to accommodate you. I ended up in my mid 40’s with my mental health completely breaking down to the point I couldn’t leave my house or work. I had masked for so long I just couldn’t do it anymore.

[@allthefandoms92]

I'm so sorry you went through that, thank you so much for sharing, I'm 31 and just at the beginning of getting diagnosed

[@Jupefires]

Being correctly diagnosed for anything is extremely important. For our mental and emotional health we need to understand ourselves. In understanding ourselves helps us take care of ourselves.

[@hopeful8975]

I can certainly relate. I feel like I had an undiagnosed mental breakdown in my middle thirties. My life was unlivable and I couldn't cope so I checked out emotionally. If it wasn't for my faith and Gods help I wouldn't have made it. Coming to accept myself the way I am has helped tremendously. I had no family help or understanding which didn't help. But of course I also did not share my most intense inner experiences either and didn't have the internet to help with information. Having to support children emotionally is especially hard when you have never had that support yourself.

[@creativesolutions902]

Similar story… It’s amazing how many of us got missed throughout life… Some of us were lucky enough to find someone who could properly diagnose even at this late stage in life.

[@MargauxNeedler]

Who do I have to see?

[@carynpercell8979]

You hit every nail on the head for myself…I felt like you were speaking about me! The smell thing, the connective tissue disorder, being a HSP, having adhd, complex trauma from childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics, narcissistic sibling, siblings with addictions and alcoholism that continued to contribute to my shit show into adulthood further resulting in additional traumas piggybacking one another, living in the constant flight or fight mode (most times fight for protection), I’m a “retired” hair stylist that has had multiple surgeries that has left my creative energies going in many new directions with experimenting with various forms of mediums. It started with my journey seeking out a therapist who practiced Art Therapy in addition to other classic therapies that never seemed to work. This could be a novel but in short I will finish with saying the constant “need to know/understand “ everything in life specifically mine, leads me to the rabbit hole of research dealing with the brain!! Learning firstly the true connection of the mind/body helping me understand the tip of my iceberg. Isolation in the last 5 years to begin healing deep wounds and traumas and cleaning out the toxic relationships over the last years has definitely caused my inward look at trying to put the pieces together because my piece specifically has never fit in anywhere. Talk about MASKING!! When I started therapy I didn’t even know that was a real thing! I did a collage picking different masks and what they were and how they looked to the outside world. When one’s brain chemistry is constantly being altered so to their environment/traumas, abandonment issues, abuse, self medicating, disassociation/numbness, ect there has to be a common thread running thru many if not all of them connecting in a sense a domino effect. That’s my feeling as uneducated as it is but just my life experience. I’m 54 years old and have no idea who I really am or what my life could have been. I try not to let myself get in that head space but it’s a lonely and isolating place to be with all the above mentioned 5!! Thank you for being vulnerable and putting this out! I for one am very invested and interested!

[@jamiepentz4682]

Absolutely everything you said. They diagnosed me with a mood disorder. After years of trying to give me depression pills, that just made me crazy. In

[@user-em7vh5xs6f]

I’ve been following you on TikTok and your journey and deep dive is more appreciated than you could know!!! This past year found me becoming no-contact with my parents only to have to step in as POA and place them in a home. I’m 62 only child with painfully narcissistic mentally ill mother, Asperger father. I broke down last year at this time. I’ve been in counseling forever and began my own deep dive as I realized I have CPTSD, now I’m pretty sure I fall under autism as well. Thank you so much, I find it amazing how people and information come to us when we really need it!!! I will continue this journey with you. My own therapist is on maternity leave until October so you have been my go to, thank you!!!

[@ashleystewart4938]

My God--I thought I was the only one. My mother is a narcissist and father is Aspergers. I am currently no contact.

[@lokosdanveros]

OMG you hit the nail on the head. I've said exactly what you said in the intro to myself a many times. I think about what I could have become or how great I could have been if I hadn't been robbed of things like self esteem and confidence. I was in a teenage domestic violence situation 17-19yrs old, I am now 34. The mental and verbal abuse was extreme for such a young person. There was occasional physical abuse as well. I feel like that relationship really effed me up for life if it feels like. I think to myself how many opportunities I squandered throughout my life because I didn't feel worthy enough to take them. Confidence for a big example can propel you far in life.

[@daysofsaltandlight]

My son and I have been talking about embracing our divergent minds and enjoying our different gifts and perspectives. A lot of really great people have trauma and intellectual divergence. We have to find our tribe. 😊

[@DamePerdita]

De-stigmatising _diagnoses_ is very important, because it helps to differentiate mental health problems from how individuals with those problems treat other people. Like with my mother, I can totally accept that she has significant struggles (that have caused me trauma). But what isn’t acceptable is how she often treats me and others; particularly, that she always, always tries to justify her hurtful, irrational behaviour, and claim that because of her limitations no-one can ask her to apologise. That’s when it’s not just about mental health.

[@ElsaBasler]

15:28 highly sensitive 17:50 Prefer alone time 18:50 Art, psychology and science 20:13 potentail misdiagnosis 21:20 increased allergies autoimmune

[@imdbbookaholic]

Thank you

[@laketachism-williams9873]

YOU are the hero I needed!🥰

[@nimbussays3676]

Thank you for adding this. The person getting all the clicks clearly did not watch the entire video and I'm guessing many up voting that comment have not either.

[@VioletHuedAngel]

She has the timestamp in her description 😅

[@dianathomas1025]

Thank you! I wish the entire thing was like this so we can click on what peaks our interest.

[@MissEviscerate]

You have no idea how much I really needed to see this video Dr. Kim Sage. I always wondered if my C-PTSD, ASD and ADHD were the reason why I have autoimmune Hashimotos thyroiditis and why I struggle with fibromyalgia, IBS, gastrointestinal issues and food allergies/intolerances. I never knew this could all be related. I'm a newly diagnosed neurodivergent (ADHD and ASD) at age 33 and also a woman. Despite this diagnosis I'm struggling so hard right now and I thought it was all due to trauma from my childhood but it seems there is far more to it. I need to address this further with my doctors and therapist. From one alien to another, thank you so much for posting this video. 👽🙏

[@theserenecrane]

49 yo. Took assessments last year and got Level 1 for all 3 . So many people don’t believe me because my masking has been so refined. Nobody bit me knows the torture I have put myself through to be where I am. Nothing social has ever come easy or natural to me. I remember as a grade schooler I would practice smiling in the mirror. I had so many labels too: Too quiet, anxious, cry baby, too sensitive, gullible, weird, teachers pet, goody goody, different

[@miadavis2847]

WOW this sounds exactly like me practicing smiling because I didn't think my smile was good enough an all the labels I had too quiet, too nice, shy, slow, gullible, stupid, strange, and this was all elementary and middle school and the first year of high school until I had enough of the bullying, teasing and torture from others and I changed myself to try to fit in as much as possible because I never fit in my whole life but I needed to of I wanted friends and to stop be bullied and maybe even get a boy to like me, so I just changed the way I talk an start acting like I had this attitude like the popular kids and started to get clothes to fit the part the latest trends an hair styles and made myself cool enough by the time I was in 10th grade came back to school as a new person and then people started accepting me this way but it wasn't really me they were excepting, but still I didn't care an went on with life this way cause I it was better than the other way an i went out of my way to please everyone so they will like me an as an adult now i still find myself repeating the same pattern but its actually worse now because im fully aware now that I'm being used taken for a joke an taken advantage of and Everytime it happens I'm left feeling depressed and alone, this is a life long battle and you have to manage it the best way you can but I'm recently starting to have increased levels of not caring, not trying to please, not trying to fit in, not trying to change who I really am for anymore, am not apologizing for being myself, im finally at ,44 excepting myself .. Finally thankyou Dr kim thankyou lord an special thanks to my kids that for not them wouldn't have made it through, ..God bless everyone Amen 🙏🏾

[@angelaarsenault]

"My life has felt like nails on a chalkboard" - you just verbalized something I've always felt. I have the same difficulties - can't keep friendships, or they are really hard to keep up, autoimmune issues, always sick as a kid, need a LOT of time alone to recharge - just all of it. I cannot do scary movies as my nervous system cannot handle it. I've also studied psychology for decades and the one thing I'm starting to wonder about is, are there really all these different diagnoses at all? Or are they all different manifestations of childhood trauma? Aside from physical pathology and strong DNA abnormalities, I really think that's what it is.

[@elenasakman]

nails on a chalkboard... that's good one

[@rachelbell6105]

All the things you were sharing about being an HSP, sensory issues, being super interested in psychology at a young age, feeling “high maintenance,” feeling like “an alien,” getting sick easily… it me! I feel a lot less “alien” after watching your video, so thank you so much for sharing your learning journey even though it was scary to do! ❤️

[@user-rj8lu6ks5j]

After my adult daughter was diagnosed, I started down this rabbit hole, my thoughts were very much like yours. Happy to to take this trip with someone educated in the field.

[@drolmacaroline]

the earnestness with which you are diving into this is striking. it has me tearing up and beaming compassion and gratitude towards you. i've watched many of your videos in the past, and you've always felt really caring and warm, but in this one in particular your heart shines really bright. it's beautiful to see and again, i am grateful for your personal journey and for your service to the world. much love your way.

[@ketherwhale6126]

I appreciate your honesty and candidness. Most therapists wouldn’t be so direct and so human. I can relate to your new discovery. I found out in my early 50’s !! I’m still not “ formally “ diagnosed, but I’m sure I was a high masker. Most women are so good at masking, they never get diagnosed or are considered borderline.

[@TheJilayne]

This was just awesome. I was diagnosed with ASD three years ago at 55. I was also diagnosed with PTSD, but I know it's C-PTSD. Likewise, I believed my mother was borderline too because she treated me, particularly, terribly. I am the family scapegoat. My diagnosis was such an eye-opener to me. I believe my mom has ASD too, but also has a personality disorder. I know she suffered horrendous abuse from her stepfather. She will never admit, or take responsibility for anything, so I am now estranged from her. One thing I suffer a lot from as an autistic person is Imposter Syndrome. It doesn't help that I suffered from a lot of invalidation growing up. I really look forward to what you find from your research. I just started following you, and this is perfect for me. Thank you for all your hard work.

[@kr3642]

I relate to this a lot ❤ you're not alone.

[@janewright2800]

Yes i relate too 💚

[@FreezyPeach11.11]

Thank you for sharing this 👍 👍 🙏

[@taralilarose1]

Are you my twin sister? Lol😂

[@LTTPUK]

Sounds like your mother was more like full on NPD - narcissistic personality disorder.

[@cassanthemum4158]

Wow. I never would have imagined finding a video like this that so clearly addresses exactly what I am: both CPTSD and autistic. I'm 60 years old and still struggle with the childhood and young adult traumas.

[@gabywestby4020]

Thank you! My journey into neurodiversity started with my own dx of ADHD at 51 and then diving into autism in women because as a clinician working towards licensure I had a client that my gut told me was not accurately diagnosed(BPD). As I researched I began to see myself in the autistic traits. I remember breaking down in tears the first time I recognized myself in someone else’s video. I’ve always felt like an alien. I also thought my father was narcissistic and now see that he was most likely on the autism spectrum. I am so glad you are diving into this. Having professionals like you supporting the need for more research gives me hope!

[@jayleerichardson5215]

I have been exploring this very same issue! I am an educational psychologist specializing in autism and adhd. I also have adhd and my family is rife with adhd diagnosis. My nephew is HFA/ Aspergers with severe ADHD and is cognitively brilliant. My grandfather had psychopathic traits, my uncle narcissistic, and my dad borderline/ vulnerable narcissistic. My father was terribly abused and while he was better than his dad, he passed the trauma on. I work with many kids with autism and started noticing how many mothers presented with borderline traits. So i researched it and found a connection in the literature and was off to the races. I’ve read extensively on autism, CPTSD, and borderline (as well as the other cluster b disorders) and have been fascinated by the overlaps and interplay. I don’t have anyone in my life to talk to about this stuff (though I still try…just ask my friends 😂) so I’m glad to have found this episode. It is fascinating.

[@sarahferrell5458]

Hey-I’d like to talk about this.

[@carolynmartin4523]

Awesome! I am so glad other clinicians are recognizing these connections! I am a clinical social worker and outpatient therapist. I also have been noticing for some time a correlation between autism, adhd, c-ptsd, and bpd in my patients.

[@Andypandieful]

What a great subject. This is me. Panic attacks for 25 years. Living in fight or flight mode. Altered my existence. Feeling ADHD. I look forward to what you come up with. I suspected this over two years ago within myself. I feel my mother has this as well. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder 25 years ago with no letting up. I’m a hermit too. Always described as quirky, different, unusual. Brutally honest. The description section here nails me down big time.

[@ashmac87]

Welcome to our club! 😊

[@wehrlemama]

Thank you so so so much for being vulnerable. I’m crying tears of recognition. And the way you’re approaching the way you’ve chosen to share your learning journey is enormously welcoming.

[@skywalker5thwrld]

Thank you for showing up here in authenticity… people with letters in front of their names often don’t have the humility to do what you’re doing here in this video. The purity of your heart shines through!

[@aliciabramblett9598]

I’m 51 and about a year ago I started researching autism, and that lead me to late diagnosed autistic woman. I kept hearing that finding out that they are autistic was like finding missing pieces to a puzzle. And that has been so true for me too. I always felt different and like a freak, I didn’t like myself because I didn’t seem to fit in. But as I heard woman talk about their autistic traits it started to make sense. I was finding MY missing puzzle pieces, and the picture I was seeing was so different from what I thought. It wasn’t of a scary ogre, but a beautiful woman hiding behind a mask. I was watching TikTok and your videos on trauma came up. The things you spoke about sounded like what I was hearing about woman with autism. It was confusing. Did I just have trauma or was it autism? Then last week a video you made caught my eye as you were talking about autism and trauma and how there might be a correlation. I’m so excited by what you are saying and I look forward to seeing more videos. Thank you for being a voice for so many people who can’t speak, are afraid to speak, or just don’t know how to say what they want to say. Thanks for advocating for those who have been diagnosed and those of us who want to get diagnosed but can’t afford to yet. I recently did get diagnosed with ADHD, trauma, and a social phobia. Sounds like Autism to me.

[@joannemacdonald3543]

Late diagnosed at 54 last year. I can relate. People dismissing my diagnosis due to their ignorance is annoying. You video is very helpful thanks 🎉❤

[@My-Cult-Life]

Also 51 and on this journey. I would love to connect if you are interested/open/willing. It’s intense. I’m also a Counselor but currently not working. I am female. I’m generally not very good at social media as I cannot handle the pressure of creating a perfect post. I know it doesn’t have to be perfect but the energy required to write something succinct is exhausting to me.

[@jamiecarson-cantrell2833]

I am also 51 and haivng an awakening to this

[@junebabin779]

62 and this sounds plausible to me. Lifelong anxiety, hsp, artsy, science Teacher, COTA, high interest in psychology with auto immune symptoms. Masking my whole life.

[@heatherwest8998]

Where can I find the video you are referring to about trauma and autism correlations?

[@brendaernst310]

I am 48, almost 49 and am going through the same exploration as you. I especially wanted to mention my age because during this exploration I’ve also realized that I’m in perimenopause, and have learned that it has a lot of similarities to ADHD, Autism, etc and/or that it can magnify the “symptoms”. I hadn't realized I was in perimenopause because I don’t get hot flushes and that is always the top symptom in a list, and I still have regular periods. I wanted to mention this because I think it is a large part in why women seek to find a diagnosis around this age. I feel like all of my triggers are amplified and the sensory overload can’t be ignored. Thank you, and please keep sharing your journey and info!

[@Caress1972]

Interesting point! I am 50 and the same time of life.

[@shelleepryor9549]

So true.

[@sherielowe4256]

I am 56 and thank God on the other side of menopause. It was a tough journey and I changed so much. At times I didn't recognize myself.

[@LoverofSunflowernBees]

I’ve had these characteristics she speaks of my whole life not just because I’m in menopause and peri menopause is the stage I’m no longer in and I was having periods all through peri and I wasn’t having hot flashes. I do feel our symptoms are over amplified during peri menopause and menopause but I’ve had these characteristics she talks about all my life. I don’t want Autism to be overlooked due to peri menopause or menopause happening. I don’t want it to cause doctors to look that way…. I’ve been trying my entire life to try the right diagnosis.

[@violaceousorchid]

I'm about to turn 40 and all of my sensory triggers are much more amplified before my period for the last couple of years.

[@kellyredgrove]

On a more personal note; your authenticity is truly appreciated🙏

[@jaereckard5737]

I am exactly what you shared! I am a clinician in the same field and learning more about my own masking. I significantly identify with your personal story and appreciate your courage and willingness to post.

[@Sarahwithanh444]

LOVE LOVE LOVE this discussion!! I was diagnosed at 36, after going through the assessment process for my children. Previously diagnosed with depression and anxiety and BPD. Eventually realised I had CPTSD, and then BOOM - autism. It finally made so much sense. Knowing that I am the way I am because that’s the way I’m supposed to be, it’s literally been a lifesaver! And I don’t have to keep beating myself up because I don’t fit the box that everyone else seems to fit in, and it’s not because there’s something wrong with me! I strongly feel that my autism and CPTSD cannot be separated, because growing up as an undiagnosed autistic female IS traumatic. At least it was for me. I absolutely love that you’re sharing this journey with us and I will be continuing to listen to each and every episode you post! You are so validating ❤❤

[@BethCara]

I am similar too,on the spectrum, and with ptsd from past trauma ,and difficult childhood ,eggshell childhood too,i'm very isolated still even in adulthood ,i have three Autistic children too ,i didn't realise about myself until their diagnosis ,listening to you is like listening to a caring friend ❤

[@Iren222]

This is by far your best video in my view. I cried because I feel so similar to what you shared about yourself (feeling like an alien etc) and nobody around me is interested in listening. I’m a trainee psychotherapist btw. Thank you for posting it. You’re brave and beautiful. Vulnerability can be our strength ✨

[@1991bumblebeeify]

Dear Kim You live up to your surname 100%! You are a very sage, wise woman. And, if I may say so, you have meticulous taste. Which in itself speaks volumes. It is by pure chance that I fould your chanel today. Very grateful KZbin search function got me here. Watching you speak, the way you carry yourself, the language you use, your passion, your engery, everything about you was to me like peering into a mirror. I am actually gobsmacked...And this is saying something coming from someone who feels like a single puzzle piece, forever looking where to fit in. What I am about to say comes from a 52 old woman, with C-PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Panick Attacks, Multiple Autoimmune Diseases, HyperSensitive, Gifted and with a ASD diagnosis as of June 2022! What I wish to pass on to you is a wisdom my therapist passed on to me when she suggested I might be on the spectrum: “Once you have worked through most of your C-PTSD (which I did), if all the sensory and other non-neurotypical issues still exist and persist and that even with greater clarity then before, then go ahead and have yourself assessed. Because its not C-PTSD anylonger. You are most likely on the spectrum.” Which I did! Since June 27th, 2022 I have an official dx which was both liberating and not. It obviously comes with its on set of issues. But that is a different story for a rainy Sunday afternoon. I suffer as per definition from the ugly Imposter Syndrom. Knowing at least that when it comes to Autism it is not just in my imagination but a fact was libearting to say the least. For the past 3 years I have done an enormous amount of research on the topic of Female Autism, to better understand myself. I don’t even know where to start. You probably wont even see my comment on here and therefore I just leave you with the piece of advice my therapist gave to me back in the day. It might be of some assistance to you. Or to someone else reading this. As to labels this is how I see it: a label is an orientation aid and saves energy and resources big time! Much like the size labels on my shoes and clothes (which I hate with a passion). It would be so time consuming and frustrating to figure out what size fits you each time you are in need of new clothing or new shoes. That is when a label comes in handy. To me it is basically the same regarding an official diagnosis. Now I know. I sort of have stopped wondering why my figurative shoes do not fit like they do every one else around me (well, sometimes I still do). I am just a different size. Sincerely wish and hope the above makes sense. Back in the day (2020, thanks pandemic for gifting me time to take off my mask and face my real me…) the test on www.rdos.net/eng/ (click on Aspie Quiz on the leftside bar) got me going. Maybe you know the quiz, maybe you don’t. Try it if you haven’t. Just as an example, I got 172 points of the 200 possible (pre-diagnosis)… Wishing you all the best and time to ponder and reflect on what steps to take next. I will be following this journey with eagerness. Best wishes BB PS Also, this is my second time ever commenting on KZbin. Let us see how it goes. English is not my native language. I was born and raised in Europe, and been living in Switzerland for the past 46 years. So, be kind.

[@wyominggal010]

Wow, I just stumbled on your video. I fit every single category and self diagnosed myself many years ago with CPTSD. I'm 65 and a retired Adolescent Psych RN. My parents were both terribly abusive/neglectful , and divorced when I was 6. I've spent my life trying to figure out why I'm so different and to help others. I've never been able to hold onto friendships. My husband is even a narcissist but due to my illnesses, I've stayed with him for 32 years. Now I'm just hoping to outlive him so I can enjoy a few years alone. Sad, isn't it? It does feel good to know I'm not alone in this. I'll be following you now ❤️

[@ellebelle86]

OMG Thank you Dr Kim, this is such a timely video from you - I'm waiting to be assessed for autism, and even just reading the title of your upload made me feel so immediately validated that I started crying. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

[@kayjay-kreations]

Good luck for your assessment I was diagnosed at 58

[@allthefandoms92]

Best wishes on for your assessment!

[@_DeadlyNightshade_]

Same! Waiting on my autism test results from therapist

[@StewARTist5]

I’ve been watching your videos for some time now, and although you’ve consistently been a source of comfort, information, and relateability, this is the first time I’ve saw the less confident parts of you and it’s been hugely impactful in me feeling less alone or “alien”. I saw myself in this video. Thank you for being enough brave to be so vulnerable! ❤

[@skywalker5thwrld]

You’re doing beautiful work for the collective consciousness, thank you for taking your precious time to dive into these dark spaces of human psychology. Weather you know it or not you’re helping all of humanity just by going into these unknown areas in your own mind… sharing your findings is a bonus. Don’t stop ❤️

[@shahw1]

I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD this year - at age 51! I also suffered with undiagnosed bipolar disorder until my mid thirties. I'm amazed I lived that long before accessing treatment tbh. Its been incredible to learn about myself, regards my neurodiversity. Its like I'm getting to know 'me' finally. This, on top of trauma, left me feeling dissociated, different, odd, weird, inadequate and just 'wrong', all leading to intense self-loathing. Unpicking what's what, symptom-wise, is not easy as there's so much overlap, but it is worth the effort to understand who I actually am, Vs who I've tried to appear to be to seem 'normal'.

[@susanma52]

That last paragraph struck me. I'm 70, just beginning to learn and understand - about to seek formal diagnosis. But who am I really? Is there any part of me that is real and acceptable?

[@objectivityisourfriend9631]

I have ADHD and bipolar 2 and am 44 and feel these sensory issues and a desire to hole up away from people and geek out alone stronger and stronger. Like I can't pretend anymore. I can't afford an ASD diagnosis. All I know is, I relate to everything so I am just going to stop beating myself up for having meltdowns over smells, sounds, lights, noise and being unwilling to make boring polite conversation at baby showers. I've felt like a big baby/prima donna lately needing to come home and take a shower without the lights on with nothing but silence - or wearing sunglasses indoors and earplugs everywhere. I'm not going to beat myself up anymore. It's so nice to know I'm not alone.

[@chriswiley5184]

@Susanma52 who am I fits me perfectly at 64? On top of CPTSD… I have a psychiatrist and counselor that I was lucky to get after 5+ years of looking (I moved to a different state) but CPTSD was something I was unaware of. I have known I have PTSD but this childhood stuff is mind boggling but it fits perfectly. Sadly. So now who am …

[@objectivityisourfriend9631]

I have bipolar, ASD, ADHD - Dx Bipolar at 22, ADHD at 26, and ASD at 44. I think ADHD and Bipolar can REALLY mask ASD. I mean hypomania/mania will make you more impulsive and gregarious at times, and ADHD as well can do the same thing. For me, dropping hormones and life expectations made it impossible to ignore the ASD - it all came crumbling down. That - and learning about my dad's childhood ASD Dx and behavior for the first time.

[@cchalery]

Dr. Sage thank you for this honest and REAL conversation about a socially uncomfortable topic. You’re helping a lot of women feel more comfortable with who they are. After hearing this, I feel even more compelled to take care of myself MY way. And shouldn’t feel ashamed indulging in quiet spaces, fuzzy blankets, peaceful music and libraries. 🤓

[@andreaward8150]

Yesyes! Learn what you need 😀

[@_Louise__]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and putting this out there Kim. Your comment about anxiety and feeling like you could be out on the street and that being completely unrealistic resonated so much with me. I'm an academic, but taking 6 months off of work to help me recover from an abusive relationship. I have property paid off and over a year's salary in the bank so why I would even feel that way is insane, but I do. I think this understanding takes a while, for me it started with trying to understand why I have chosen the partners I have and why I've stuck with them even with the detrimental affects to my health. I too prefer one to one relationships and hate small talk. Have studied philosophy for over ten years mostly to be able to interact with people at that deeper level. Currently waiting for an autism diagnosis. It shocks me every day that I can have gotten to this age, published research in psychology, and had no clue about any of this until now. And yes, a lot of childhood trauma. What I'm only recently realising is my mum's part in all of that, the level of neglect, for the abuse from all of those different people, to have been able to happen under her nose (for years) and her not to have seen it/done anything about it.

[@jillianmetzger6503]

This rabbit hole runs DEEP! I follow u on TikTok. I'm So Glad I found this video tonight. I feel your excitement for sure. I LOVE seeing this side of you! It makes you more human!!! I love it.

[@petsmart1000]

Thank you for covering this issue because I'm in my 40's and since childhood I've been diagnosed with BPD(borderline), MDD, social anxiety, ADHD inattentive and cptsd, but through the years I have had many people that are on the spectrum thinking and asking if I WAS autistic because they recognized certain behaviors.I have done some research and I relate on A LOT of the symptoms and characteristics of autism, like there was a lot of yeses, I struggle with that AND that and so on, it was eye opening. Thing is, my mental health professionals focus more on the major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, and working on maintaining those symptoms. I've been thinking about bringing up the possibility of autism with my therapist, but I'm apprehensive because I AM a woman in my late 40's and don't think they'll take it seriously. I tried bringing it up with a past therapist and he just brushed it off and I just felt dismissed and not heard. Would it be of any benefit to me to get a diagnosis or should I just not bother with trying to find out if I am autistic or not, at this point in my life? I'm on a fence. 🤷‍♀

[@user-sh1vf3ml1i]

Get a referral for testing from a medical professional so it will be covered by your insurance. Once referred to a testing specialist, they are NOT going to blow it off. You deserve and can get tested. Best of luck!!!

[@BrendaRodriguez-bq1yh]

Same here. After my deep dive into psychology as a layperson, I am wondering if an accurate diagnosis is possible at this time. Also, would my treatment change with an official diagnosis? I am overwhelmed by the overlapping symptoms of cptsd, bpd, autism, depression, anxiety, etc. I recently decided to back off of research for awhile and this notification popped up. Going to follow your journey. From the comments, I at least know I am not alone. (I will get a referral for testing. Time to overcome the fear of having an official diagnosis and how that may look or effect my chances at employment if known.)❤

[@stormarrow6422]

Thank you... I will gladly join you on this journey! I'm a mom of 5 boys, I have CPTSD and have been diagnosed with (inattentive) ADHD in my 30s. All of my sons display some form of autistic traits and are getting tested soon. Two of them also have ADHD. My 6yo is very likely to be on the PDA (pathological demand Avoidance) profile of autism, and I think I might be too. I'm relating to all if the signs and I loved to see you "unmask" in this video. Thank you Dr. Sage ❤

[@Miss_Elaine_]

PDA sucks. Ask me how I know. 😓

[@janeteddddd]

\/@ ×× ine. damage. Brains loaded with toxins/metals Avoid all shots in the arm .

[@annalopez5203]

My 5 y/o is diagnosed PDA. And I believe my 3 y/o has it too! I’m an adult diagnosed adhder and self diagnosed autistic. I’m pretty sure I’m PDA also. Life is hard! 😅

[@mokkaulvasol]

Thanks for sharing your life and your own journey of being apart of a large number of us, growing with traumatic childhoods and seeing how it effects us through our lives. I have cptsd and have self diagnosed mild Autism. I want to send you a big hug ❤ and truly thank you for bringing these to topics together. And yes... funny enough, my favourite hobby is learning psychology, why people act the way they do and looking behind the mask. Trying to understand the human psyche and get to understand why people act and behave is comforting. It makes me feel safer around people, and helps me to understand why they do/act/and say the thing's they do. Thank you for the great content ❤ looking forward to learning more psychology from a psychologist who has had her own trauma and really understand what it's like having to struggle with this emotional and challenging journey this life is for us.

[@schmemmm]

I just want to say thank you for this refreshing and nuanced look at the schemas and the traits and the diagnoses. This video is a breath of fresh air.

[@PsychPA]

Hi! I am a medical provider, specifically a physician assistant (PA-C) specializing in psychiatry/behavioral health. I also identify with an ADHD diagnosis and have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Recently, a dear friend who is now a therapist suggested that ASD might be an appropriate diagnosis in addition to ADHD as some of my challenges might extend into social communication differences that might be a bit of a blind spot for me. Initially, I rejected this suggestion and wondered if anxiety, ADHD, childhood (little T) trauma, and high sensitivity could better explain my personality traits that resemble cluster-B-like behavior in romantic relationships. I should mention I have very rigid exercise patterns, have missed a day of my hour of cardio 7 days a week for 18 years, & struggle to be flexible around this; I had an eating disorder in my teenage years, & I found eating disorders are highly comorbid with ASD, especially the persistent, semi treatment resistant ones. As I reflect & learn, I’m more viewing ASD as a reasonable conceptualization for my presentation;, I am intrigued by the research on autism and masking in females who appear socially motivated, high-achieving, but struggle, & go to great lengths to compensate for their challenges. Reflecting on my pervasive social anxiety, which I do my best to hide, I realized that it may be related to a chronic feeling of being misinterpreted and misunderstood, as well as a difference in how I interpret and respond (or fail to respond) to social cues. I also have significant executive function challenges which characterize virtually every neurodivergent individual. As a result of my special interest in this area, I have an abundance of knowledge and continuously learn about all things related to psychology professionally and recreationally. I’m looking forward to more content in this area & would love to help/participate in any way if possible. Warmly, Sarah

[@annalopez5203]

Hi! I’m also a psych PA and a therapist. I’m an adult diagnosed ADHDer and now a self-diagnosed autistic (after figuring out my 5 year old is an AuDHDer). This has become one of my specialties as a psychotherapist/coach and help a lot of people understand and cope with their neurodivergence (and trauma surrounding it). Thanks for sharing your story!

[@sofoLOVE]

Thank you for posting this! I've been on a long journey feeling "different" from everyone, childhood trauma, adult trauma, multiple mental health diagnosis, and multiple chronic health conditions. Now, more recently been questioning "am I autistic?" dealing with environmental sensitivities and human connection issues. Even my therapist questioned it when I was telling her about my brain "meltdowns/shutdowns" I've experienced all my life. I was brought to tears several times in this video. Thank you for doing this work and shedding light on this topic. May we all find the answers we need on this journey!

[@mjspins]

So grateful to have found you! We share so many traits! I experienced a stroke at 58 and then soon after the ADHD diagnosis which was such an illumination of my life!!! I'm not feeling able to relate a lot here at the moment. I see this has been out here for several months; soon after my deep dive on autism and neurodiversity,,, thanks very much!

[@theintuitivepsychologist]

Thank you so much for raising this incredibly important topic! I'm also a woman and a licenced psychologist, who 18 months ago discovered that I have carried a totally hidden but on the inside raging C-PTSD, due to severe emotional neglect and emotional domestic violence. I had obvious ADHD as a small child and some quite clear autism (or HSP) symptoms as well and now as I have opened up for all the feelings again, after living basically my whole life repressing them and denying my true self, all those traits and "symptoms" are back again. I totally resonate with not fitting into any box, except for the term you just mentioned: I'm neurodivergent AF due to C-PTSD. Maybe also ADHD and Autism, if they truly are separate conditions in this kind of case. Thank you so much for this insights! 🙏🥰

[@Ninsidhe]

Add to these questions what being *profoundly gifted* does to the mix. Highly traumatised, cPTSD, Autistic, neurodivergent, profoundly gifted, highly sensitive, constant positive disintegration, ‘weird’ to everyone I tried to make friends with, multiple illnesses and autoimmune disorders through my life and all my children are Autistic/ND with inter generational trauma patterns. I’ve been living like this since I can first remember and now, at 58, I’m relearning to accept that my loneliness and separation from the rest of the community is permanent and that I need to figure out a life forward that will at least nourish *me* .

[@GemsoGeo]

I want to validate your feelings and I am honored to offer support to you as you do to all of us. I am so glad you're on this journey, because I want more people to gain an understanding of autism. I think it is way more pervasive than has been realized. My daughter was thankfully diagnosed early and through educating myself for her sake now self-diagnose as autistic. That is co-morbid with newly diagnosed in my 40s ADHD. Also, I totally believe I have Childhood PTSD. I am a tough 49 year old lady who is not a hypochondriac. Learning these things about my brain has been such a relief and wealth of understanding. I also want to impart that I feel no shame in being Autistic and encourage others to embrace themselves for themselves including their conditions even if others still stigmatize certain things. That is why education is so wonderful on the topic. Answers are a good thing.

[@BillieGote]

Yes!! Completely agree and relate to all of that.

[@thesunnyroad]

Thanks for sharing! That's so beautiful to see many women feeling the same and validation each other's experiences

[@PamelaKay23]

You don’t have to be apologetic about hyper vocalism. I have it too and I’m sure many of us do. Thank you for your help and your videos. You’ve helped me understand so much more than any other doctor has. You’re a Godsend, an angel. Thank you

[@miraclefromthemud]

It’s trippy to hear my exact experience articulated through another person in this way, wow! I am currently in the inquiry process as well in regards to looking deeper at autism in women and how that could potentially be the missing link for me. CPTSD and ADHD are both conditions I know I have and although understanding them and integrating that knowledge into my life has been hugely helpful, it still doesn’t explain everything. I am glad I found this video, thank you for posting this! I would be interested in hearing anything more that you discover on this topic :)

[@dcb252525]

I am so happy you were willing to be this fresh and real on your journey down the autism research trail. This is a new one for me too. I identify with many of these signs and CPTSD. Two weeks ago I took an online quiz and have been listening to lots of courageous people like you brave enough to talk about this! Your talking fast was relatable to me because I too talk fast and enthusiastically when I am first learning and exploring a new theory. Again thank you for involving your community in this exploration with you! I am 65 and considering this might be one of the core reasons I felt different yet was also able to overall survive in this world as a high masking Autistic woman. My Bachelor of Arts studies was in sociology. I considered psychology, then thought sociology would be interesting so I could learn how social groups can work well together. A place where all people are respected and loved in and for their differences. Sounds like a trauma inspired aspiration leading me to areas I can help others in ways I have been helped and helped myself. 💜

[@reidbyrne65]

Thank you for being so real. I’m a PMHNP with CPTSD and have listened to many of your videos. I’m a believer that everything is on a “spectrum” and diagnoses are only as helpful as it allows access to compassionate and wise interventions and self awareness. This video shows the underbelly of the process of inner seeking for understanding. It is both invigorating (as you shared your excitement for this expansion of knowledge) and filled with confusion and pain of not knowing/doubt. Sharing this video in its raw, uncertain and unpolished form is, in a way, unmasking. You are human just like the rest of us. You are allowing your audience to know you and identify with parts of you, which is brave and also breaks down the wall of hierarchy- your doctorate making you more wise than others- which of course is a fallacy. Thank you for sharing yourself, your thoughts, feelings, experience, and insights.

[@torchedearth8547]

What a beautiful, insightful message !😊

[@zarayeo8746]

I hear you. My daughter has recently been diagnosed and I have suspected it quite strongly for the last year which has lead me into deep research rabbit holes around female autism. I too relate so much. PDA specifically. It's been such an amazing discovery, emotional. Bur such a relief in so many ways. 🙏

[@ryleytaylor3227]

I haven't even made it all the way through this video yet, I just have to say THANK YOU for covering and continuing to research this topic.. It's something I've been doing hours of research on myself lately. Trying to differentiate/diagnose CPTSD vs. Autism vs. ADHD vs. borderline can really take you through a whirlwind of information and contradicting research.. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 22 and within the last year also diagnosed with CPTSD, but just recently started questioning everything when I began to learn more about Autism. I'm glad you're talking about this and can't wait to go on this journey with you! Thank you! :)

[@toddkingery9951]

Dr Kim, your excitement is infectious. Thank you so much for digging deeper into something that’s very present and relevant. Only after having one of my sons being approached as autistic, did I want to dig deeper. We are so similar and it has opened doors to my understanding of the last 55 years of my life. I don’t feel victimized. Life is complex. It’s those that can be responsible for their words and actions and strive to understand themselves better we are thankful for. ❤

[@faibaigel]

Thanks for being vulnerable and giving a voice to people with similar struggles. I can relate and have self diagnosed as Autistic after suffering recent traumas which unraveled all my coping mechanisms. Good luck with your deep dive! ❤️

[@NICMACYO]

I’m with you Kim, down to the not knowing my father still. I found my way to Autism about a year ago and I cannot explain my gratefulness when I saw you begin to make content about this 😭 You are a light to helping me understand ME….even my husband found his way here on his own, trying to understand me and how to support me better. You’re saving lives here.

[@vanessavaughan]

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, at the age of 49, with autism. I can really relate to so many of the things you said. I had a work sheet that I carried around of the DSM criterion and added things in every time they came up. I ended up with 5 - 6 pages. I am really starting to think that being and undiagnosed autistic person, in itself can cause CPTSD, and will be interested to see where the research goes. So very many of us women are getting diagnosed in middle age at the moment. I honestly think that if you research autism, and relate to it, you probably do have it. Neurotypical people don't feel like aliens, like we do.

[@opticalexcellence-wendytob862]

Dr Kim, bless you for taking this on and willingly sharing it with us. As a recently self-diagnosed 70 yr old, when I figured out that I may be on the spectrum, I was happy and relieved. Finally, here were some plausible explanations for my behaviours, missing social cues, hypersensitivity to noise, lights, crowds. I’ve lost jobs and friendships because of it. Thank you for taking this brave step. You are definitely not alone here! 😊😊 By the way, I’m asthmatic and have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

[@FormerlyKnown1]

So glad you had the courage to share this... we aren't alone ladies 💜

[@debramoore6004]

I want to thank Dr.Sage. I am 71 years young and yes please do another video, someone who truly gets it. Awesome lady Thank you Debra M.

[@lifevitality]

You covered everything I am experiencing and have actually believed it’s all connected for years! My special interest has been researching all this after I started discovering undiagnosed autism in my husband and later my mom and then me! I just bawled my eyes out that you are saying out loud what I believe!! My therapist cousin almost mocked me, as I’m not an educated professional, but knowing myself and my intuition and exhaustive research have led me to feel exactly what you just described! I’m 60 exhausted and trying to move forward and heal from a pretty traumatic family life. I believe my mom was autistic/borderline and dad disappeared when I was 5. I do believe I was ADHD and was probably now even autistic/CPTSD/anxiety/ocd/depression. Please continue this research!! I want to hug you!!! ❤

[@shawndabache5467]

Every time I listen to your channel, I am always in such awe by your knowledge, compassion, and open-mindedness! I feel like you're telling my life story almost every time, and it's possible I was just as excited listening to this episode as you were making it! The very first time I met my social worker, she suggested that I might be in the spectrum of autism! I am so excited to follow you on this journey! ❤

[@Miss_Elaine_]

My intake is next week, specifically regarding assessment for autism. I also believe I'm dealing with CPTSD. I'm 53 and I'm only now sorting through the impact of these things on my life. I think this exploration is extremely timely, and I look forward to your insights.

[@zenqideb]

So grateful for this. Please keep digging in, and sharing as you go!

[@bobntv951]

I'm relating with you on this video. I was diagnosed with PTSD about 6-7 years ago...but I know that it's far more involved than the original diagnosis. I appreciate you with the understanding that you are learning as well as teaching on this subject right along with those of us who watch your videos. I have no one person here who understands...or sees me for what I have lived these 66 years of my life. I feel that hypervigilance is my curse! Fight or flight...fright or flight...occurs every day of my life. Fibromyalgia keeps me almost to the point of inactivity... I look forward to your videos and will always be kind to you.

[@elmapollard4238]

Happy that you're making this connection. I work in autism and yes I am quite sure of significant overlaps and was thinking exactly this when I watched your video on isolation just now. Just after coming off live autism training. I went through all of this stuff by my understanding now is that the war in my parents home was created through undiagnosed autism. And likewise what looks like narcissism in my mom was also her emotional struggles with her own and my dad's autism. Which left us all traumatised.

[@corinnehall7326]

I think that creativity is a great way to soothe and express pent up emotions I found this in myself and my eldest son. He became a professional artist at 19 years, music producer mid twenties. Exercise also helps him.

[@giovanadallanora3306]

This is the first video of yours I’ve watched, I’m going through the same “existencial crisis”, thank you so much for sharing and I just wanna say I love your honesty and the way you express yourself 🥰 keep sharing honestly like you’re doing 🥹🙏🏼

[@Pinkiiiiii9]

Thank you for sharing at the end. You tearing up at the end about how hard life has been your whole life, I cried with you. Ive literally been avoiding or gaslighting myself from getting diagnosed because im afraid people will say i dont have autism or cptsd. But oh my gosh every video every checklist is , yes i experience this, yes i do that, every little thing is accurate for me and matches high masking autism. Its too clear at this point. Thank you for sharing your videos and experience, i resonate so deeply about trauma and these symptoms that ive never experienced before. Youre changing peoples lives ❤💕

[@staceyeldredge9191]

This is all me-even down to the allergies and Ehlers-Danlos diagnosis. I am a writer, obsessive over psychology, and disregulated emotionally. ❤

[@Zehested]

Me too... and a zebra too❤

[@sandra3193]

Wow, this could be me you speak of. You hit nearly everything that has been and is in my life. I am 73 and diagnosed 15 years ago bi-polar type 2 with ptsd. Now I identify with autism totally. Not seeing anyone at this time due to social anxiety. Thank you for your insight.

[@Bearwithme79]

I am so glad you shared this. This conversation validated a lot of thoughts I’ve been exploring about my adult child and myself. We both also have all 5 of those indicators, which makes me feel much less stressed about wondering.

[@HollieSmithHappyHobbies]

I am so glad that I came across your videos. I have started down the rabbit hole around these exact subjects. I believe my late husband had cptsd and was on the spectrum of autism, which caused him to develop narcissistic traits as a defence mechanism and masked very well. He passed 18 months ago from a long battle with colon cancer. I believe that autism runs in his family and that his mother had signs of it as well as cptsd from her childhood experiences, which led her to eventually passing from dementia. I have noticed that she did a lot of masking and possibly bipolar or something like that with her early onset dementia. Our kids and his kids from a previous marriage have signs of autism and have cptsd from him and his inability to deal with children and then his divorce. This is all very interesting to me and I look forward to seeing what you have found. thank you for making these videos.