CPTSD: How to Feel SAFE

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***
When CPTSD is active and our brains/emotions are dysregulated, we can be easily triggered by things that upset us, including things people say or do (or don't do), things that are shocking, or just everyday stressors. Getting triggered can cost us hours and days of disruption, so the search for a "safe space" can be an urgent one, yet hard to find.
So how do we stay "safe?" How much can we expect other people to prevent triggers from happening, and what's our own role? What should we do if people trigger us? My answers may surprise you.
***
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[@evanfirebrand]

I'm a late arrival to all this wisdom, but what really hooked me in is Anna's honesty, encouraging us to take personal responsibility and letting go of the impulse to control others. Hard to hear some of the truths, but they certainly strike the right chord.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks @Evan. Very glad you are here!

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

I think you're right on time. "The teacher comes when the student is ready." That's just my opinion though. If you feel like you could've used this info a long time ago, who am I to tell you what to feel.

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

Also, I agree with everything you've said. I've only been here about a week and I'm soaking everything up like a sponge.

[@helenasaez9372]

If I could just feel safe before bed time and while I sleep...

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

@Helena you might want to try my Daily Practice. The writing technique is perfect to calm down before sleep.

[@sandywhat2429]

Me too.

[@nensi1972]

it is the only way I feel safe...or when I am in those special moments in church,where I get in no time/space dimension, for just a seconds,but yet...and near the river, water,in the nature...

[@HL-hr4ox]

Same. Hence I’m here listening while trying to fall asleep. Four months away from my abuser & at night is when the fear & memories of him plague me.

[@graziaromano3531]

Yes..night a d bed time is excruciating

[@staceywhite2235]

I never feel safe outside my home. Mostly emotionally. Any perceived rejection can really hurt me

[@CherishedbyGod]

Man can I relate to you. I was recently rejected by my closest friend because of the way my emotions are a roller coaster. It was too much for her and it hurt her. Now I'm scared to talk to anyone because if my closest friend who I was attempting to regulate myself with rejects me then who do I stand a chance of being accepted by.

[@cjennings6179]

Put UP YOUR EMOTIONAL SHIELD. OR IMAGINARY WELL!!!🔑😀👍 FEEL SAFELY PROTECTED Behind your imaginary SHIELD!!!💪🔑👍

[@cjennings6179]

Shield UP!😃 FEEL SAFE!!!

[@billcarsonasmr5022]

Can i talk to someone ?

[@evelyncraig3065]

Sometime That Safety Shield is No Contact due to The Abuser. Sad When it's Been Your Daughter🌈🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@leospotions1133]

I can't even feel safe with my whole family in the room, they never understand me

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, I think a lot of us relate to that!

[@kxenia7852]

Hahaha i feel you man

[@yugiwitastick]

I can relate.

[@sandjvj911]

i can relate bro, i feel like my family is emotionally dumb and they also do not care much how i feel

[@echopathy]

this channel makes me feel normal again. thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay!

[@mandyg5747]

I second that!

[@itslilygacha419]

I was just sitting in my room and I didn’t feel safe. And I didn’t know why, and you made me feel safe! Thank you! :)

[@prasadirupasinghe9254]

Same

[@joymasombuka2928]

Same

[@aquajuwel7098]

I just found your videos and I love them. I have severe cptsd from growing up with a psychopath mother and struggle a lot to control my emotions and relationships. I have ended all contact with my mother 2 years ago after years of ups and down,and extreme control, my whole family struggle because of her. I am 38 and male, and things became much better in many ways when I cut her off, therapy have helped, but your hands on approach is really helpful. Have just found a TM meditation group here in Norway and will learn it. I often feel my body is over stressed and therapy have not helped much with that, so will be nice to learn to relax. Thanks for great videos. I will sign up on your website.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hei hei, Aqua Juwel. So glad you found the Fairy. There are all kinds of tools and courses you can explore. Also just have to say, I love Norway! My grandparents came to the US from Southwest Norway (Kristiansand and Sogne I Helle). I've visited a couple of times and can't wait to get back there.

[@aquajuwel7098]

Crappy Childhood Fairy Hei:) so wonderful. No kidding, you look very Norwegian actually. And that’s a beautiful part of Norway. And do come back. This was cool. I will definitely explore and use the tools, and again..takk:)

[@stevec404]

I had no way to express myself regarding unending fears and feelings of being emotionally 'unsafe'. Until recently, I was my trauma, and was too easily triggered before. Now I have the understanding, and tools to re-regulate; and look for the 'inner calm' that left me so long ago.

[@petussuss]

how you did it?

[@infiniteeprospecting2749]

The crappy childhood fairy 😂👍

[@caleshaboston]

I felt unsafe in my apartment when I heard someone getting shot outside my window twice. Once was in the day, the other was late at night. I also do not feel safe in my own body because I feel like if I was to be attacked, I wouldn’t be able to protect myself. I now am in the habit of praying at night & reading the book, black pearls.

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Exactly! Thank you for being so validating and not minimizing. It's not my comment but I'm dealing with something a little different. I have to deal with the same thing where I really am not safe and to turn off the anxiety I feel means becoming indifferent towards cruel and unusual punishment.

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Also, I'm working on moving too. If it's meant to be. I can only do the work. The outcome isn't up to me.

[@dotsyjmaher]

YOUR sharing YOUR experience is very comforting... After going through KatrinaRita and having my mother's abuse resurface ..(she had been dead for years)..I could hardly function in a normal life but after major disaster that was not going away for awhile..I started reliving extreme childhood trauma ..I tried therapy and the therapist treated me like an interesting specimen..I would have killed myself if I had not had pets who desperately needed me.. I coped with alcohol.. Only in the last couple of years have I begun to feel able to sanely approach my childhood trauma.. Your videos are VERY helpful..I KNOW YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE GOING THROUGH...THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️

[@EllaBirt]

Thank you for this!! One of the things I've never liked or understood about therapy is that they don't directly explain things like this. I'm a smart cookie, but I've not really understood what it would look like to feel "safe," or how I could actually be safe in a world so full of possibility where many people are walking around traumatized. I've watched half a dozen of your videos today and see myself totally in all of them. It's like I've been panning for gold and your videos are loaded with golden nuggets of healing wisdom. I've found writing and meditation to be core components in my own coping and understanding. I'm going to further dedicate myself to these practices diligently and use your info to help regulate my regularly activated nervous system. Sending so much love to you!

[@jellydarling1008]

Your name sold me instantly XD

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

LOL

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

I'll second that. But as me and many other comments I have read have also agreed... she's an angel too.

[@emirrart]

my best friend makes me feel the most safe - she does so much for me. she stays near the phone, ready to comfort and reassure me if i’m going through a hard thing, like the dentist or doctor or even just the hard nights, and i do the same for her. she’s wonderful, i love her with all my heart

[@aviary4925]

Hi ma'am, Thank you so much for coming up with these videos. I came across your channel while trying to learn more effective ways, particularly the nervous system in healing cptsd. The moment I heard your voice and the way you speak about the topics (from another video) I knew I'm going to be a regular viewer and learner of your work. I need a safe place to learn and work things out, and no longer want to keep on talking about stuff, especially with family that cannot help themselves but constantly being critical of me instead of rightfully coming to terms to defend me as a family member from cptsd and all sorts of triggers. I only hope for them to just let me be and not keep on judging why I need my space and not take that need against me anymore. Right now I feel better if I just let them judge and not hear about it rathen than keep on catching up too often with them and hear triggers from their mouths from their casual but judgemental conversations.

[@donnawoodford6641]

I notice that I have little interest to be around other people for very long. I think in a short time, things are going to go bad, and I'll want to take leave. I haven't found the "right" type of people yet whom I feel safe around. I know it sounds like an unresolved trust issue, but at the moment, I feel very sensitive to ppl telling me what they think I need (to do). I don't like ppl bossing me around.☹️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Me either!

[@lifeslessons9889]

This video particularly struck a note with me , exactly right of my symptoms, I DON'T Feel safe of nearly all the threats you'd mentioned!! That's it.. I just want to feel safe , and I know my own reactions are harming me , but it a defence mechanism I'd learnt from and early age !

[@stefanemanuelsson2201]

Thank you for your videos. What you say is so true for me. I have a very hard time regulating my feelings, feeling scared inside most of the time, beating me up if someone puts me down etc. I have been taking up on this practise with fear and resentments and try to get private time for meditation as often as i can, and it really helps.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for telling me this, Stefan. I am doing some short interviews via Zoom video conferencing with people who are trying the practice, for the purpose of sharing their experience with others. If you'd ever be willing to try this, please reach out to me at [e-mail]. So glad to hear you are finding it helpful!

[@jean-mariemeyer1201]

I avoid going to busy shops. I can't handle all the people.

[@JuanRamirez-un1xn]

Neither can I...the only way I can manage is if I'm wearing sunglasses

[@elsajones6325]

Too many 'energys" to be exposed to and to deal with

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

I go earlier in the morning when not so many people are there.

[@barbarafinch7715]

You're such an angel, and so skilful in delivering these videos. I love all of them. Is it possible you've created a video to help avoid becoming a recluse and the extreme loneliness that goes with that? Wishing you grace and love Barb

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're in luck, @Barb, I did a whole series on isolation. The short versions are here on KZbin -- four of them beginning Sep 25th. There are longer versions in a short course I created -- you'll find it at https;//courses-crappychildhoodfairy.com

[@belonging9200]

I love the way you reshaped my understanding of CPTSD. I have one question though, that I see not represented in your content: I can love deeply and feel deep connection and also trust in the truth of a connection. Yet, when eben my loved one tells me, that he loves me, I feel nothing at all. It's like a glass wall. It just does not reach me. I go emotionally blank. Would you be so kind, to let me know. If that is part of and why, of CPTSD. And more importantly, how could I break through?

[@JonLopezOfficial]

3 years still no response dang

[@belonging9200]

@@JonLopezOfficial oh no probs. Ive learned a lot in the meanwhile

[@JonLopezOfficial]

@@belonging9200 super!! Can I ask what the short answer is to this question you did have??

[@belonging9200]

@@JonLopezOfficial ive worked a lot on my bonding/attachment ability. Especially with the help if the 'personal development school' by Thais Ghibson. Basically i found, that i need to practice voicing my needs and boundaries In that i take charge of my wellbeing and don't need to detach emotionally from overwhelming fear. All the best to You

[@evelyncraig3065]

If I DO THIS WORK I know I Will FEEL Safe On My OWN. THANK YOU ANNA❤️🙏💐🎄💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🌈

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You go, @Evelyn_Craig!

[@ourevilone]

i would like to know how to feel safe in this world, where i feel like i am always going to fail, and therefore i wont be able to have a job and make money, and ill be homeless and suffer. this keeps me up at night and perpetuates this.

[@christinemichaels7315]

I have this EXACT same thing even though I’ve managed to have my own business for 20yrs😢

[@mudskippa8958]

I don't think I ever feel safe in the way others do. Same with comfort. I just don't physically feel it. The best I can do is feel confident. Other people seem to get warmth or a buzz out of duvets, bubble baths, hugs. I just don't. Is it even possible for me to ever feel like that?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

The Daily Practice is for people like you. To bring comfort and ease where you can't manufacture them yourself...

[@shannond1467]

Same here

[@ACECAL-cl4tb]

Makes sense why some women freak out when approached in public, in broad daylight and surrounded by people regardless of how nice and sincere the man was when he approach them.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sure does! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@AugustAdvice]

Your hands go numb? Mine shake. Interesting! Dysregulation. You know what, I'm actually glad I went through all that. I love uncovering who I really am, I feel like I'm a flower that has grown from impossible soil and it only makes me more gorgeous inside and out. I think if I didn't go through all of that early pain, I'd be pretty naive.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Well put!

[@dotsyjmaher]

WOW! EXCELLENT way to look at it...❤️

[@lauramays9296]

Yes! I think of something similar too! Thank you for writing this! :D

[@NightinGal89]

My voice trembles

[@LexiA0327]

What a beautiful metaphor 🥰

[@lindablindt7265]

I used to hide in small dark spaces like cupboards. Then I tried to just avoid everyone. It took many years to feel safe and to create a feeling of safety for myself.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here, thanks for sharing.

[@libbylandscape3560]

I use to do that too, anyplace where my mother couldn’t find me. Out of sight, out of mind, safe from her. With work it can get better. Crappy Childhood Fairy has the best, most logical, and workable advice I’ve found. Good luck. ❤️

[@shannond1467]

Im sorry you had to hide in places cupboards & then avoid everyone. I used to hide many places from my dad well both of them really but my favorite was in my closet that somehow had 5 stairs that lead to a wall & then nothing lol, as far as my ex I would hide in the bathtub with shower curtain shut hoping he’d be too drunk like my dad or hi to find me or in the car on the floor curled up or under the bed hoping he’d pass out etc but many times he’d find me Feeling safe is my biggest problem today not just bc of them. Hoping one day I can find that safety within or wherever it come from

[@rosalieo5045]

I used to sleep in my bedroom closet, so I get it

[@SunainaM27]

I’m still hiding

[@amypola5903]

Makes sense, but I sure needed to hear it. And right now. Spent the day in dysregulation. Trying to pull out of it.

[@kitssch]

I feel like you’re speaking directly to me. Really helped! 👏🏼

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

yay!

[@sempairey]

This has been the most helpful video have have seen concerning building resilience. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks. This thinking saved my life.

[@alexxarcadia]

"Crappy Childhood Fairy" hahaha I love you. Finally, a fairy that I can actually relate. You make me feel safe 🤍 Very helpful video, thank you so much !

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

🤗

[@cherylwilsherlimberlife7210]

Exactly what I needed!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks Cheryl -- Always nice to meet a kindred spirit who relates!

[@maryrnbsn5114]

I'm not judgemental or want to control others. I just want to be safe from physical emotional assaults. I'm not "playing A victim or carry myself day in and day out with a woe is my attitude. But flashback happen, triggers from comversations from my adult kids who KNOW they trigger me and they enjoy it find humor in it. No I'm not overly sensitive. My pet died, I was told, can we bbq it for dinner.... I'm at a large party and two of them say can you imagine how it'll be to clear out moms house I said I'M ALIVE I'M HERE, BUT they carried on in detail saying it was a joke. See I never know when I will be shamed, belittled, degraded, told I'm worthless, ignored gaslighted, rashly judged. So I hole up at home. Shades drawn, doors locked, hidden under the blanket. I'm never safe.

[@soniacorredera8116]

You seem like a really nice person, I feel you are so nice, sincere and authentique I feel a bit safer listening to you. Thanks so much.

[@michellejudd5060]

This is wonderful thankyou

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks Michelle

[@prasadirupasinghe9254]

Thnk u so much for this🖤✨️

[@dianediane1245]

Thank you!❤

[@israel3889]

Inner calm that is my safety. God bless you! 😁

[@blossomyguri_]

This vid has changed my LIFE, thank you❤️❤️❤️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wonderful! Thanks for being here -Cara@TeamFairy

[@teacherslearn]

I now feel totally powerless hearing this. The writing every day has done very little for me. And if that is my only path to inner safety, I feel screwed for good. This inner safety described here is exactly what has been so elusive for me. One issue I am not hearing mentioned is the isolation we single people have been forced into for the last year and a half. There is no inner resource left in me. And I'm devastated and feeling very alone. And even though I have been finding these videos very helpful, not hearing that unique set of circumstances being addressed feels even more isolating. I wish you would make a video where you address the fact that the last year and a half have been especially devastating for us.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so right. Trouble is, if I mention what's been happening the last year and a half, KZbin may shut down my channel. I hope you can read between the lines.

[@teacherslearn]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy how sad that KZbin might do that! Why I wonder. What's wrong with talking about the obvious isolation so many of us, if not all, have been experiencing?

[@shahilagh]

people who r outside norm- singles in a tribe society- and no family too, are doomed to be neglected and die. sorry. but this is what I keep seeing in all government policies and social behaviours

[@starseeds8121]

Inner calm is my safety.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yas.

[@Deba7777]

That's really helpful, Anna, thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

thank you for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@EduardoMartinez-rs3bu]

Thank you, I could not find any video that addressed this situation seriously. I'll let you know in a week if I'm still alive.

[@axoNNNessj]

Oh I remember all those times. When someone got mad or yelled or anything bad happened, I would feel bad for weeks, months or years afterwards. As I grew older, the recovery time(or just that the thought of it didnt pop up all the time) decreased, but overall it takes and took so long that I would just prevent anything from happening, rather than needing to suffer from it later on.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This is how I felt until I learned Daily Practice :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@evelyncraig3065]

I am Continuing To Do My Resentment and Fear List @ Meditation. With You And God's HELP. I am Moving Forward. I AM Enough. I AM Worthy. I AM BEING. HEALED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR AMAZING WORK, 🌈🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💖💜❤️🖐️🖐️🎄🎄👏🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're welcome!

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I just took the plunge so it gives me hope to hear how it's going for you. I know there's different acronyms for H.O.P.E but the one I like is "Hearing Other People's Experiences." That's what gives me hope!

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

The other one I read recently is H.O.P.E. Helping Other People Everyday. I like both! Sometimes the best way to help others is to make sure we're taking care of ourselves so we can be there for others. I just thought I should add that. Serving others should be a joy and not a sacrifice (...in most occasions there are exceptions, of course but nothing is worth your well-being and peace of mind!)

[@closeyoureyes75]

Inner Calm.... Working toward that. Thank you again for the videos. 🦋 Margaret Elaine

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome

[@allysiren]

omg i always come back to you. i think i will just take one of your classes honestly.

[@psolver8147]

I needed to hear this.

[@mandyg5747]

I wondered why I still feel as if I am not safe - when I am physically safe now. Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, when we're physically safe it's worth pausing to be profoundly grateful. Many people, across the world and throughout time, would give anything to have what we have.

[@mandyg5747]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Believe me ...I do! Am so very grateful to be able to sleep safely at night. But it's time to start living again without fear. Am doing the Daily Practise but finding the mediation hard. I have learnt so much from the channels on Narcissistic Abuse but after 6 days of 24/7 emotional flashbacks I realised that i needed to get a hold on this CPTSD! You taught me that the CPTSD was affecting me in ways that I had previously put down to ME. What has drawn me to you is that you are so cheerful and advocate moving on and ways of being with family without needing to make them understand or say sorry in a meaningful way, which they never will. Have been looking at your courses but just missed out on the Black Friday deal thinking it was till Monday. But it's obvious that doing the work with support from a community will be better than going it alone.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

@@mandyg5747 you have a smart and courageous attitude. AND, it's not too late to get the Black Friday deal! It turned out to be so popular I decided to leave it active through today. Go to membership: bit.ly/2rukHvh and use the coupon code HOMEFORHOIDAYS. But hurry!

[@mandyg5747]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you - that is so kind. I have saved this lovely message to my phone to remind me to keep this attitude. I did try the link but it was 15 hours later that I saw the message so the code didn't work but I signed up anyway and am so glad I did . The amount of work that you have put into the classes/videos I certainly do not begrudge the cost. What was it that Jesus said? - 'a worker being worth their wages'. Thank you for helping me to heal.

[@emptynotes897]

thank you a lot lady !!

[@montiliusbeatty9831]

Feeling safe is a daily struggle. My standard flight response get activated anywhere I'm vunerable. I like pete walkers website on complex PTSD. Keeping in mind his page on the inner and outer critic since that is a lifelong pattern from narcissist abuse.

[@Water_Serenity]

I used your method this morning.Wrote my fears and prayed aftewards.I use prayer to relase my fears. Felt such relief when realised that my fears have been present in my life for a huge reason and that is to keep me safe. I somehow released my fear of my fears if you know what I mean. Huge relief. Thank you Anna so much for your work💚🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great job! Keep it going and you'll be amazed!

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

@Mirela are you a Christian or would you be willing to hear a scripture your comment reminded me of? I won't share, if you'd rather not.

[@Water_Serenity]

@@publicserviceannouncement4777 It's ok.

[@cactuskid3348]

I can't sleep without feeling like I'm going to be snatched away in my sleep for some reason. I've felt like this since I was a kid and I can't shake it so I've smoked weed as long as I can remember to ease it even for a little

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's hard to deal with. Perhaps check out tools on the website, particularly the Daily Practice course which is free -Cara@TeamFairy

[@barbaracalabro873]

You are terrific! 💖

[@Veronicabac]

Very very helpful !

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad to hear that!

[@MrCesar90403]

This channel grounds me

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm grateful to hear that. Thanks for saying so!

[@Jack_breadloafffff]

TY

[@meyersonfire]

I like you. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts and wisdom and experience with us all!!! XOXO

[@lorrainecortes7296]

The group Ive been to have had mentally I'll people where they laugh at my pain, which I no longer go to, suffering from ptsd.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yeah, sounds like an unsupportive environment. There are better ones!

[@publicserviceannouncement4777]

Okay, so if anyone is new to this channel there's a few things I have learned or see a pattern. The Daily Practice is #1 I have heard about it in almost every video and I don't think it's a coincidence. Practing meditation (more specifically Vedic meditation) and there's a video about it. Not micromanaging others but being more in control of our own emotions. If we need to separate from a situation and go for a walk or avoid certain people for our well-being (toxic people), we have the right to do so. So, setting healthy boundaries. Like, what are those, right?! Those seem like the core things I hear about in most videos. There are other videos that explain why we seek unavailable partners, why traditional types of therapy haven't worked with additional support or without, what types of things trigger us (also why and what to do about it,) personal experiences that provide hope that healing is possible. I'm sure there are more but I have only been watching for the past week and this is what I have seen in many videos so far. My heart goes out to those suffering and those who are healing. All I can say is, "me too."

[@adridelarosaj]

You are wonderful.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, thank you

[@earlbucklin8323]

thanks ............... lots

[@josephinetyree1476]

AMAZING...that 'this' vid of yours came up in my feed from yrs ago..My children ..did NOT tell me the man I was with on and off for 24 yrs....not only 'had' cancer for several years, but that he died a month ago....I really don't know how to feel... My mind is floating in several pieces...They said it was 'because' ...we didn't get along...I was like WHAT ?? as children you only know 'your' perspective....Anyway..I really have 'no' idea...where to focus my thoughts/feelings...?? He's gone and I never got a chance to say anything to him........I ...I ...???

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm sure that feels terrible, glad you got back here and the video resonated.

[@nfldsports97]

I have adhd and childhood trauma, so anytime I have my emotional episodes I cry and it pairs with physical pain. Lately I’ve been trying to force myself to feel my feelings and emotions and it hasn’t been easy. But I’m trying.

[@SarahWilliams-es2yl]

I dont feel safe, physically or emotionally. If too many people interact with me I get very aggressive. It causes me to hide. Others percieve this as I'm angry with them and then get rude and butthurt at me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I totally get it @Sarah. You might really find it helpful to try my Daily Practice. It's a free course: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com

[@jonenright5429]

I am emotionally broken. Deeply hurt and traumatized from childhood trauma

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are in the right place. I encourage you to try The Daily Practice (a free course). It can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on healing CPTSD. Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD Nika@TeamFairy

[@rosalieo5045]

I'm so frustrated these days and I'm in a situation where I'm around someone who stresses me daily and there is no way to leave. I don't drive, and there is no public transit where I live. Sometimes I just sleep all day so I don't have to interact with him. I might be changing countries but that is not until the fall. The conversations are always demoralizing and I feel so stuck right now. Tired of crying and being belittled for crying.

[@sage9836]

Albert Ellis would give your analysis a prize!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I had to look him up, but yes!

[@hbinfinity]

I don't feel safe around my husband. He will be very kind, pack me lunches for work, cook dinner when I'm tired, tell me I'm amazing. But then will raise his voice in anger at me for seemingly nothing like if i misunderstood something he said or he'll do something that I've asked him to stop doing that makes me feel unsafe like scream and act erratically in the car or hit my ass with a towel thinking he's just being playful when it actually really hurts. I've asked him for a couple years to stop that. It's hard to know how much of it is trauma and how much of it is the present situation sucking.

[@cassiestevens8382]

Thanks💜🕊🌹❤️

[@smileyface702]

So, are you saying that, if i become more able to regulate my emotions in response to other people's reactions to me, then I will become more comfortable with being vulnerable? Or is it through forcing myself to be more vulnerable that I will become better at regulating my emotions?

[@laureng3830]

Is a racing heart disregulation? That’s my main symptom. And if it’s from CPTSD could EMDR help? I know it’s typically better for adult trauma.

[@dianediane1245]

There is a guy that stares at me when I am in my daughter's backyard watching her dog. The cops said they can't do anything unless he trespasses. I am now to scared to go in her backyard.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sorry you have to experience that, glad you're here to take of yourself -Cara@TeamFairy

[@pachamama8586]

Thank you Anna, for addressing this important topic!! For some of us, feeling truly safe has become impossible. So for me, it is about feeling *safe enough* around people to be able to function. Conversely, nature (even a place I don't know) feels usually so much safer than any human being - except babies of course ☺. I liken this to being in a wheelchair: you learn to move about and get to most places but it is never going to be the same as before no matter what. All the best to you and everyone here in this community!!

[@ponderdarlingmybustedheart]

Where is the video on your "daily practice?" Link please?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hi Ponder, here is link to videos AND downloads: crappychildhoodfairy.com/2018/12/27/how-i-healed-from-childhood-ptsd-free-techniques-that-help-re-regulate-your-brain-and-emotions. Let me know how it goes!

[@edaa1861]

Thanks for ypur video. ı need some details if it is ok for you. How can we build emotional security inside ourselves if our mother is often insulting? Can you give some details for this?

[@millie9814]

I went to therapy for the first time this week and didn't feel so safe I was afraid the psychologist would judge me or tell me what to do and be mad if i didn't do it

[@loverainthunder]

❤ But you did go. That's great. You know you can tell your psychologist that you were afraid of being judged or bossed around. It's a valid fear. It doesn't mean it's going to happen though. :D ❤

[@millie9814]

@@loverainthunder thank you so much, it's true ❤

[@noahs4350]

TW: this is triggering for people who suffer from abuse especially at home. I ran away from home because of all the yelling and hitting and being controlled and hated and pushed to the edge, they looked everywhere for me, my mom (who caused all my troubles) didnt even eat cause i left, she was hurt as hell, and my dad had to go to the hospital cause of the pressure of me escaping. I knew that because of the hundreds of voice notes and texts (i texted them for them to know im safe and not dead basically so they dont freak out). Eventually they found me, and me feeling guilty started paying them visits, they'd always ask me the same question "what did we do" and when i explain they have so many excuses. They went from yelling at me every day for absolutely no reason, to walking on eggshells with me, and then blaming me for not coming back home, they'd always tell me theyve changed, that im being selfish, that they don't deserve this and that everything is good now so why am i still angry all the time and why am i still feeling unsafe when, in their eyes, nothing is happening. And it is true they're so nice but it feels so fake and i still feel so fucking guilty and SCARED to death because im not putting their needs infront of mine. I just wish i could feel safe and come back, be who they want me to be and get it over with but im so fucking tired and AAAGGHHGGGGHH - realising this is my friend's account -

[@user-jh3gt1ry8r]

Hope it gets better for u

[@DaveE99]

The thing I hate is I can’t get others to stop being emotionally invalidating. I’m at point where I told my godfather who is the only millionaire in the family that “no, that’s not ok, you don’t dismiss, you don’t ignore , you say “I hear you, yes, and....”. That you listen to understand, not to respond. That no you will not take my experience of my life and just hide it away and act like it didn’t exist. I’m not going to pretend things we’re good and I’m going to be blatantly honest, because this story is one of many and it’s also the largest public health crisis in this country that has been ignored 4x in history. So no, that’s not ok.

[@cadilac949]

Idk why but I think ever since I came out of the womb I felt unsafe and paranoid that something was out to get me. Smh.. 25 years later and the theme is here Staring at me- face to face.

[@pinxappl2742]

I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL NAME XD

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you!

[@pinxappl2742]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy lol ima subscribe

[@wiam7575]

What about death anxiety wanting to escape when I got out alone or feel smtg physical outside ang get back hime cuz I think that I would die or pass out and ly parents wont be next to me or my bf

[@sandywhat2429]

❤️❤️❤️

[@jamiecee4960]

Emotional Safety. Everyone wants to be accepted to being themselves.

[@teika12]

Hi Anna, I am doing the daily inventory and experiencing more freedom and regulation. I have a question about a co-worker. She sits across from me. We are in cubicles. For some reason she doesn't like me. She gives me "dirty looks" that no one else sees. Doesn't talk to me at all. Of course this affects me. I feel afraid of her and she knows it. Any ideas? God Bless you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are on the right track! You may want to add the meditation so you're doing the full Daily Practice. If you become a member, we have group coaching and a private Facebook group, so there's more support. I'd really be bothered by the co-worker too and the solution is freedom, to either ignore her or give her a piece of your mind! The Daily Practice helps to develop that freedom!

[@urteruddy8205]

how can i have inner calm when i have bpd. ive been in therapy for over a year and im better but just in a lot of pain and fed up. how do i feel better

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Try this free course bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

[@eu_no.ia0220]

Is it really bad to felt unsafe?

[@madelief4300]

I think it is a little but of both. Not trying to control people but finding people (enough people) in your life that do respond in ways that make you feel safe. You can't create relational safety on your own I think. If someone keeps disrespecting your boundaries you probably won't feel safe in that relationship. Well, I do not feel safe then, can't speak for other people of course :).

[@TheShadow80fs]

That's interesting just quit careing what everyone thinks. I can't say I feel safe but I no longer feel scared, and stressed out so that's semes good to me

[@danmalone5365]

Sometimes a person just needs to move on not criticizing anyone for their structured beliefs system. As you evolve you change that makes people uncomfortable especially if you no longer fit in the pigeonhole assignment In a small town everyone knows who you are, you drag your years behind you like a running dog with tin cans tied to its tail, you can't escape who you have been.The hierarchical structure of a small group likewise works the same way instead of the conversation spiraling up as new information comes available the unwillingness to allow new input to the hierarchical structure of the group is do to crystallization of old tyrannical belief systems unable or unwilling to develop with new information which would free up the tyrannical structure of the group.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for all your thoughtful comments @gooey duck. This particular one -- yes. The people who have know me a long time think I'm a total screw up, I think. Oh well! I try to do my best to be open to other people, especially those I've known a long time, figuring I am doing that same time-filter thing on them!

[@meleromelero1]

Great! Why do our hands get numb? Mine do too!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hi @Teda Melero. I'm not sure exactly what's going on with numbness -- presume it's nervous system. It's a common symptom.

[@tiarajessy9491]

Same.

[@jan1cem]

Hi Anna, i dont feel safe to date..i get disregulated for a looong time. How do i feel safe.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

One good tool to help with getting regulated is the Daily Practice. It is also a great way to process fears and resentment. You can try it in the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@1999Chelsea]

Anna Is there something I can do for the daily practice that is not writing? I have difficulty writing when triggered I have dyslexia and it feels very laborious And difficult when I am triggered especially. I go into a freeze state and it’s really a struggle to put pen to paper

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Everything you just said in this comment -- each line -- if you write "I have fear" before that line, NOW you are doing the Daily Practice. Only instead of listing your difficulties here, you're naming the difficulty and asking for it to be removed (or releasing it). MUCH more powerful. Give it a try.

[@RichardC313]

Hi, I have trouble sleeping and saw in a comment you recommend your daily routine, whats the name of the video where you discuss this routine? Im desperate to sleep at night without meds.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Fee free to contact our customer service team at [e-mail] and they will provide you with the information. Nika@TeamFairy

[@RichardC313]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy will do, thank you.

[@keho723]

What’s the different between neutral & calm versus feeling depleted / throwing up the white flag / helpless? Cause the latter is how I feel in order for there to be any sense of “comfort” I can’t speak and people don’t (under stably) want to listen

[@thrillsbreh]

I never feel safe when i go out, its so shitty if anyone can share tips

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Dysregulation Bootcamp is all about tips like that bit.ly/3t5vPtN -Cara@TeamFairy

[@romascopa8461]

Can one just grow thicker skin and adapt over time? Maybe add in some stoic thoughts to not be destructive at all?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I got more stoic as a result of years of Daily Practice helping me see how I took things more personally than necessary.

[@romascopa8461]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy yea to be honest stoicism is the only thing getting me thru Covid and destructive politics right now. Trying to not be the shitty dad my kids complain about when older. Definitely not easy with all the external variables attacking ppl right now outside of our control, but hopefully my heart is in the right place

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, when I read the stoics I see how universal our challenges are, across the millennia! Their philosophy echoes through other great works, and great people in history.

[@sandjvj911]

what if you live with someone that has physically abused you in the past and there's a constant threat of physical or personal boundary violation?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You get out. I hope you will.

[@sandjvj911]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks for replying, any advice on gaining more self trust (hence increased sense of security)?

[@donharrington8950]

They hazed me for over 25 years

[@lizadolittle6736]

Love it Anne! I'm saving this one to watch over and over again! I love your approach and when I listen to your videos, I feel like I have permission to relax, be myself and heal. You're so validating and have been a huge part of my healing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! God bless you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Liza, that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. Thank you!