Why Professor X Is Really The Villain of The X-Men Universe - After Hours

[@michaelsong5555]

"Why did you never learn the rules of chess." "Chess is for nerds." (doubtful silence) "Chess is a two-person endeavor."

[@TMThesaurus]

He's not wrong: it is for nerds, emphasis on the plural.

[@michaelsong5555]

@@TMThesaurus Yup.

[@Pecola1FromScratch]

"Did I write that? I am the best!" - Daniel O'Brien 2016 (In his own written script)

[@Azrail-Productions]

I like how Katies first issue with 'Sink the Dagger' was that she only had a spoon and that Soren being her friend was an afterthought.

[@PaperbackWizard]

"The humans are objectively terrible for the mutants." This is, probably, the worst aspect of the Marvel universe. Whether it's in the comics, or the Fox movies, or the MCU, or even (sometimes) Sony's Spider-Man: Humans are terrible people. If you're not a legitimate hero or hero support, then you are either a villain, a jerk, or just plain incompetent. "The Avengers" movie is a pretty good example of this. When the Avengers are fighting aliens in New York, Cap has to take time out from kicking Chitauri ass to tell the cops how to do their jobs. Yeah, they were probably stunned a bit by the whole alien invasion thing, but "get civilians out of harm's way and establish a perimeter" seems like it should be common sense for any crisis situation. And the battle hasn't even been going on twenty minutes (or extending past the city itself) when the World Security Council decides they have no other choice but to fire a nuclear missile at the city. The regular military hasn't even shown up yet, let alone had a chance to truly counter the invasion, before the guys in charge start launching nukes at the problem. The first big test for the Avengers as a team, and it's compounded by the sheer boneheadedness of the "normals" around them.

[@Rougarou99]

To be fair, some of the members of the World Security Council were Hydra infiltrates.

[@JTVze]

welcome to earth

[@THETRIVIALTHINGS]

"normies"

[@sethchritton9926]

I mean...where's the lie? That's the most accurate movie "average people are evil"

[@PaperbackWizard]

@@sethchritton9926 It's a hopeless universe. I mean, Steve Rogers is objectively a dick for wanting the Avengers to operate independently without any oversight, violating sovereign borders at will to impose his own ideas of what's "right" and "just" wherever he goes. And the only reason he's a "hero" instead of a "villain" is because he's "the only one we can trust". It would suck to live in the MCU, because the only person you can trust is someone who breaks the law *all* the time. At least in the DCEU, they team up with "normies" instead of ordering them around. Superman even allows himself to be hauled in front of a subcommittee to answer questions about his actions. Both Tony and Black Widow gave Congress the finger when they did that, and Steve didn't even show up. Because "normal people" can't be trusted in the MCU.

[@johnyliltoe]

They almost had a very interesting alternate video at the beginning there. A bunch of teenagers with little to no supervision in close proximity to each other. Did Xavier create the school in order to churn out new mutants? If so, where are all these mutant babies even going. Does he brainwash the pregnant teenage mothers to steal away their babies for a special cradle to grave training program?

[@Xojzk12]

Won't someone think of the Children!

[@flyboymb]

The Children of the Atom!

[@Mica_T]

All i can think of is how hard it must be to sleep in class, let alone have sex, with a guy who can read minds up to around a 2 mile radius who is your teacher.

[@mksabourinable]

+DeViouS iN-SaNiTy FiLM rEviEwS DOMiNik holy fucking shit. How did I not notice that before. He's even called the fucking mutant Messiah and the only time that the x-men go against him and try to take him down is when he gets to be so fucking powerful that he's like a fucking god. But like he just creates actual fucking peace with his powers which includes telepathy that surpasses Xavier's ability. Like he doesn't want anyone else to fight, he creates an island where people can live in peace and teleports himself to conflicts to end them. The only ones he brings are those he knows fully follow him of their own volition - most often Deadpool - WHO'S FUCKING IMMUNE TO TELEPATHY. AND HOLY SHIT SPEAKING OF WHICH DEADPOOL IS ALWAYS TRYING TO JOIN THE X-MEN BUT THEY NEVER LET HIM AND THEY ALL JUST CAN'T STAND HIM FOR SOME REASON. Holy fuck. Like sure plenty of characters find Deadpool obnoxious, but several sympathize with him once they get to know him better, including Wolverine and Captain America. And like the shit that Deadpool gets hated on is present in plenty of x-men, and sure they keep saying he's not a mutant and that's the reason, but like, really? They call him a mutate. Because he's got Wolverine's power implanted into him. And like he was one of the few weapon x ppl that wasn't a mutant, and the whole weapon x thing is a mutant problem, and he's on teams like x-force, so why the fuck can't he be an x-man? So like both this comment's thing and the video's point.

[@bridgethammond7]

Madyson Moore also, what if He puts this bigot mindset into the parents of these mutants. (Like Bobby's parents in the second X-men movie) so that they feel the sting and pressure of rejection and being an outsider. And have to go to his school to rely on him. Because we've seen a lot of characters who's parents were totally close minded to their children is gifts. (Aka also Jean Grey's parents in the third X-men movie)

[@darqjade]

Coincidentally, when Katie says fans aren't rooting for Magneto, Soren and I both started laughing manically at the same time :)

[@inigo137]

MovieJunkie ForLife You root for a guy who wants to commit mass genocide on BILLIONS of people (you included), cause he feels he is superior to them? (basically the master race nazi argument)

[@Grimmsect]

No. If you read the older comics, Magneto goes from originally being a genocidal maniac (in his original appearances), to trying to establish a safe haven for mutants. Both Genosha and Asteroid M are examples of that, the latter of which he builds in space so that no human who isn't part of the space program can even get there. It is one of his sub-ordinates (Acolytes) who tries to betray Magneto's ideal and nuke the Earth from the asteroid. Magneto is against it because he doesn't want to kill humans, he only wants to protect mutants from humans. He doesn't disagree with Xavier's ideal, he just believes it to be a fairy tale pipe-dream that would be impossible to actually implement. Humans see an island (Genosha) or an Asteroid full of nothing but mutants as the ultimate threat against humanity and always attack Magneto first. Also the Genocidal Nazi argument is bullshit, the Nazis were oppressors, mutants are the oppressed. Magneto himself is a Jew who experienced the holocaust first hand, and humans since then have continued to treat mutants the same way as the Nazi's treated the Jews. Humans have been constantly abducting mutants to do experiments on them (Weapon X), turning them into weapons. Hunting them down with Sentinels in order to enslave them in mutant concentration camps and forcing them to be registered with the government as though they were weapons by choice. The argument that Magneto is evil relies on ignoring every single action made by humanity (and still being made) against mutants, bearing in mind that he doesn't kill innocent civilians deliberately (collateral damage only), only the human government and private military factions that are specifically trying to kill/hurt/enslave himself or his people (mutants). . And when Professor X dies in the future (or inevitably ends up agreeing with Magneto), he even takes on the job of leading the X-Men himself.

[@Erine120]

Grimmsect Magneto was right ✊🏿

[@emmathestonedspider8676]

Magneto was right, depending on who's writing him.

[@TheBrianna1431]

@@Grimmsect damn man. You went full geek mode, huh? I ain't mad at cha Go on which ya geeky self👏🙌

[@katmercer5118]

Funny how the exact same argument could be made about Dumbledore, who is a master legilimens...

[@OneWhoDreamsAwake]

Yeah, many HP fans aren’t a fan of Dumbles. He’s worse than cannon Xavier by a long shot.

[@colingreen5553]

@@OneWhoDreamsAwakePeople massively overestimate Dumbledore’s badness.

[@NerdSyncProductions]

I bet he's just pretending to need that wheelchair! Or he's not! There are two options!

[@honeyham6788]

+NerdSync you should do another prof x episode

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

There is actually an issue where Charles looses his powers, which let's him walk just fine.

[@sha_mario2135]

Couldn't he like float if he wanted to?

[@Crick1952]

Do a response to this! I'm sure at least some of these points have been brought up in the comics before. Btw, I love your channel and have been subscribed since you had those end card questions ;)

[@Merilirem]

+Legendary Detective Wobbaffet All according to plan.

[@raccabracca]

Plus I love how Soren is getting progressively more evil - his demented laugh about Magneto's aims - and nobody seems to notice!

[@garethjones3227]

In the cartoon, Xavier hurts Magneto with his most painful memories, like family deaths! Villanous as hell!

[@SpectralKnight]

Yes but in the cartoon Magneto also routinely let's his people go on a murder spree

[@MilloSpiegel]

Honestly that is so much worse than just fighting. In a battle you can fight, but you can't fight that shit

[@Jeudaos]

Was that not after mag's literally ripped the adamantium out of Wolvies body. it was after some crazy event. X didn't just do the arbitrarily.

[@maw3390]

I don't think you've ever attended a boarding school, we are literally all too fucking lazy to stop watching KZbin and leave our fucking rooms.

[@Fire-in-the-sky]

wtf are you talking about?

[@maw3390]

+Juan Alejos at the very beginning they talk about how they don't sneak out of their rooms to "rub against" eachother. My point is that nobody at a boarding school can be bothered to leave their rooms.

[@Fire-in-the-sky]

maw and how many boarding schools with mutatns have you gone to. my good sir? and they showed clear examples of the students doing that. EX: kid watching tv, kid making food at night, kids rushing out when they hear a sound, kids out at night next to the fountain, etc. thats not a fault in their logic. they got that correct. where they actually fucked up is in their basis of their entire premise. Xavier only brainwashed one person in the entire series and that was jean. he takes a long time doing that, i doubt he does that alot of time or even has the time or capabilities to do it.

[@shadowytwilight]

depends on which version of Xavier your using. in the comics, it's made pretty clear Xavier can mind wipe anyone he pleases at anytime. but also in the comics, he doesn't because of his ethics. There are some instances of it, like with Magneto, but it's shown as a clear last resort and they also show that it can have some serious repercussions (Onslaught). in the movies, yeah he spends years building the 'psychic walls' in Jean Grey to barricade the 'Pheonix' persona...and it takes him a great deal of concentration to use Cerebro. my favorite thing about Charles and Eric was always that both of them have completely valid points, and solid arguments. Eric lived through the Holocaust. he's seen the worst humanity has to show, and he sees it playing out again against mutants. and he militantly opposes it and sees humanity as a threat (which they show, time and again, they clearly are) Xavier believe in the better nature of man and being able to rise above such things. (which we aslo have shown we can do). but to be honest, reading the comics and even seeing the movies and seeing the real world...I think I'd be siding with Magneto as a mutant.

[@seanmadson8524]

To say Xavier only brainwashed one person is debatable depending on your definition of brainwashed and whether you take all stories involving the X-Men into account or just one incarnation (movies, comics, or cartoons). What I will say is that it is commonly accepted that he altered Jean Grey's mind over a long period of time, but her power was very similar to his and even stronger to boot, I very much doubt he would have to work that hard to do something similar to a non psychic person. Not only that, but what he did to her was extremely specific, and probably significantly difficult just based on how complicated the thing he was doing actually was compared to a simple mind wipe/temporary possession. I'd wager that he could mind wipe/temporarily possess any non psychic person rather simply, they just don't want to overuse that power because he could use it on so many people that it would become a story only about him and what he feels like doing with his puppet people. It's supposed to be about all the mutants, so they have to "forget" to use his powers most of the time to give the others a chance to do stuff.

[@jordyn.w4129]

The main topic about this video isn't the theory apparently. According to the comment section, the main topic of the video to comment about is Katie's hair cut. (Which I do love.)

[@KMcNally117]

me too

[@XthegreatwhyX]

+Jordyn Wingate And rightly so.

[@PortlovesJD]

Just when your crush can't go any deeper...

[@conedx]

it's a valid topic. what a babe with that hair cut oh my god. it overshadows a great video with a good topic of discussion.

[@DanGolag]

To be fair, it's better than the episode.

[@Nerdznewznow]

There are hidden “X”s on Kate’s phone, dan’s pancakes, Michael’s French toast, and Soren keeps his arms crossed the majority of the video

[@Stevies_Precog_Gym_n_Spa420]

hollllly shit

[@scp--297]

Oh shit. That's lit as hell, thanks bro.

[@craxnor]

The entire story of the X-Men is the Bully the Dragon trope. Hey there's a woman who can control my mind and a guy who can reshape reality that just saved our asses. Let's call them racist slurs and try to hurt them, what could possibly go wrong!

[@greenman394]

That's why Marvel had to add a legitimate and uncontrollable reason why humans would hate mutants. The catalyst they added still kinda fumbles, but at least you know why.

[@greywolf7577]

People fear things they don't understand. Plus, they are probably jealous of the superpowers. Of course they would hate mutants.@@greenman394

[@aniyanka]

Watching this in 2019 after just seeing X Men : Dark Phoenix.. DARK phoenix..get it ? Also, Professor X is pretty much accused of being the villain in this movie

[@Thuazabi]

Yeah, and it's in the most strong-armed, ham-fisted way possible. There are so many ways that they could have dealt with Xaviar's ego and schmoozing with the human elites, but barely 30mins into the film they have his SISTER go on a tirade seemingly from nowhere that he's evil because he plays the long game - which has been TREMENDOUSLY successful up to that point, especially compared to every other X-Men film (human loved celebrities? That's amazing!) - as opposed to just mind-controlling the normies into "fixing" the mutant situation, if that's even possible. Hell, Raven comes across more as Magneto's surrogate until they can bring him back into the fold later in the film.

[@NikS952]

Blonde haired, blue eyed Soren really put a lot of feeling into that "Perfect specimens of humanity line" hahaha

[@TheBlackDeck]

FINALLY. STOP MAKING ME WAIT A MONTH BETWEEN EPISODES! I CANT STAND THE TENSION.

[@DrSpaceman42]

STFU

[@TheBlackDeck]

If I used my real name for a username I would not talk shit to random people.

[@thomasjeppesen3055]

They probably take so long to make because they have to write the script and film the thing, which I imagine takes time

[@bobpolo2964]

thomas jeppesen Not only that, but they also have to research the topics, making sure their content is distinct from anyone else on the web. Plus, they have to rehearse the script which is probably, on average, 10-15 pages long. Editing, reshoots. So yeah, it takes time.

[@TheBlackDeck]

They don't need to do that, they can just sit around the table, talking about movies and shows, while pretending to eat food. Its like Dinner for 5. That show was unscripted. Great stuff.

[@vallraffs]

Michael is better when he's diabolic, Dan when he's broken, Katie when she's worked up, and Soren when he's detached.

[@joeyeulo1]

Also, in The Astonishing X Men: the Danger Room begins manifesting itself as a mechanical intelligence. It is revealed that the Danger Room has become sentient, that Xavier has known this for a long time, and that it has in essence been enslaved..... And yes, Katie's haircut is adorable :D

[@ILuVmEmOsT]

Thank god, I was getting tired of rewatching old after hours episodes.

[@TMThesaurus]

Oh how I envy you

[@thickmclargehuge4448]

wow, you guys really nailed it on the head. In the latest movie, you see Professor X wheel himself down the hallway of the students rooms telling everyone to go to bed and goes inside TEENAGE jean gray's room, sure he has Beast standing at the door, making what im hoping everyone student watching feel all 'ok, he's not doing anything pervy, another teacher's keeping watch," or was beast just watching, just for perv sake?? when Professor x wakes jean from her nightmare, she's not all alarmed and all "AGH, professor get out of my room!!" nope she is totally cool with it, like it is something that happens all the time. which is even weirder as it is STATED in the comics that full grown adult professor x had a thing for student teenage jean gray and even got upset that she didn't have the hot's for him and Totally went into her mind many many times to 'block' her powers from hurting anyone.

[@greywolf7577]

He acts like a father figure to the mutants. It would be normal for a teenager to wake up and see her father in her room because he heard her having a nightmare.

[@trippyhippyf856]

we want more CRACKED AFTER HOURS

[@TwoPointDuck]

+trippyhippy f These take a long time to produce, pretty sure they are going as fast as possible on these.

[@trippyhippyf856]

I kno this there just soooooo good lol

[@honeyham6788]

+TwoPointDuck i don't see why, the writing is no different than a bunch of their other articles, just in scripted and acted form

[@TwoPointDuck]

Sebastian Ferguson I remember one of them talking about it somewhere, cant remember which video. And they said that its a lot of work, with the brainstorming, writing, filming and editing + they arent always motivated or interested in doing it, which delays it.

[@roberthoddinott9160]

I agree, we need more after hours content

[@flapjack6495]

Wow that pixie cut really suits her

[@flapjack6495]

actually she's looking real good with that cut

[@pontiuspaiva3846]

I love watching After Hours. The group dynamic is awesome. Also, I like Katie's new haircut, not that there was anything wrong with it before.

[@TheLancerGreen]

The amount of X's hidden in this scene are classic and a great attention to detail: the X of syrup on Daniel's Pancakes, the X left in the negative space of Michael's, Soren eating 'cheX' cereal, the CROSSoints on the table, Katie's phone case. Just... really thanks for doing those little things, it's the bomb.

[@Canlovefrogs]

i mean the movies are bad at showing this but in the comics neither magneto or proffessor x are the good guys, its meant to be controversial i mean both of them are raising child soldiers

[@paulinaenck5797]

The entire X Men series is just Prof X instigating war foreplay with Magneto, I see...

[@johnhall3086]

Dude with the beard is def one of the better physical comedians I've seen. His reactions and mannerisms are always on point.

[@Ayelis]

ORGANIC CONVERSATION is a MYTH! LoL, I see what you did there! ;) ;)

[@JimmySteller]

I'm starting to think that I don't. Is there a deeper meaning to that line apart from Dan being a pop culture-obsessed socially awkward nerd?

[@TonyPerez0]

Never stop making these! I love the non verbal narrative. Thanks guys!

[@paulosullivan3472]

Yeah more after hours, this is great! Really liked the first episode of how first contact will be screwed up by the military too. Cracked has really got back on track recently

[@igoloohalete2559]

Almost all of theses arguments could be used for Dumbledore, as well.

[@masternerd64]

The Brigham Young part got me laughing so hard

[@DeaundreMJ]

Just discovered. I’ve watched around 7 of these in a row, THIS had the most convincing hot take. Love it

[@VinitThakkar09]

Damn this was a year before Logan came out in which it was revealed Charles literally killed all the mutants with his mind after going crazy..... Or maybe he was just done playing chess LoL

[@captassassin5680]

It's about time! After Hours and OPCD are you the only reason I watched this channel.

[@jacksquatjb]

These are the best videos Cracked makes! Very well thought out and highly entertaining.

[@ObaREX]

Ooooo, so glad you brought up the part where Xavier abuses his power in the comics. I mean, I love the guy in the movies but in the comics, he's just as bad as Wolverine. (Yes, Logan is a total hypocritical shit in the comics).

[@TimedRevolver]

+Edward Gil (ObaREX) True, but at least Logan admits he's a shitty person on more than one occasion. Xavier's ego brings about one of the most dangerous beings in the history of Marvel; Onslaught.

[@kendit5445]

+Edward Gil (ObaREX) Logan was a great, interestingly-flawed loner-type until his fanboys started writing the comics and turned him into the moral center of the team who can do no wrong. A "hairy-sue" if you will. "How DARE you endanger kids by teaching them to fight and kill to defend themselves, Cyclops?! Children are innocent!" Only Xavier is allowed to train high-schoolers how to fight against people who would kill them. Later: "I am going to kill teenaged Hope/EvanSabenur/YoungScottSummers because they have the potential to be bad guys!" Lately, he seems to only bring up his past wrongs to win an argument. Like, "I'm the worst person ever, so I would know how these guys work. You can't possibly understand evil like I do, so do it my way because I am a monster and I know monsters," Boohoo. And, of course, Logan holds up poor, murdered, Xavier as the pinnacle of goodness and everything the X-Men stood for; conveniently forgetting things like enslaving Danger, sending an untrained team to their deaths and making Scott forget his own brother existed, and the multiple other times he manipulated his students "for their own good". He gets a free pass because he's dead, I guess. Or he's just faking it. He's faked his own death in front of his students a couple of times too. What's interesting about the X-Men is that their ideologies clash, they in-fight all the time because of it, and a lot of them are former/current criminals. They're just a bunch of people who are generally working for the greater good. Writers these days should know better than to attempt to hold one character's morality as infallible/better than everyone else's.

[@LupineShadowOmega]

+Kendi T Okay, that was an amazing post. And also the reason that Cyke was right, despite being written terribly in AvX.

[@kendit5445]

LupineShadowOmega Aw, thanks. AvX was maddening. So many plotholes. Scott's hand-cuffed victory X at the end was satisfying, though. Hank trying to keep the mutant comeback from him was needlessly dickish. I don't hate Logan, but how he's been written the last few years. He's been a fun part of the team dynamic in several past stories. Somewhere, though, writers lost track of the guy who has repeatedly said, "leading isn't my thing," and who fought with Scott while still respecting and even liking him quite a bit. Rightclops for life!

[@ObaREX]

Kendi T Cyclops is the man.

[@eriviscale2]

Actually I was always on magnetos side.

[@cheshirekat3050]

@ Erevis Cale Originally, I started out on Xavier's side, but now I'm on Magneto's side as well. Not the X-Men movies version of Magneto; the comic book version.

[@the1exnay]

It has been a while since I've watched xmen. Was his side just that mutants shouldn't have to take shit from humans and perhaps have their own country cause humans refuse to peacefully coexist? Cause totally agree with that. Or was his side just genocide? Cause less on board with that. Even if you dismiss the value of human life you've got to recognise that more humans means more mutants and genetic diversity. Obviously eventually they will die off but let the humans create more mutants as long as possible.

[@LoScudoDiCapaneo]

Magneto did nothing wrong

[@johnindigo5477]

Malcom x or martin.

[@barringtongates2842]

i love the dark phoenix joke and then when she says it again. love that

[@MarcillaSmith]

pretty sure "Cream Man" is from the XXX-Men :: rimshot ::

[@Ellie_deMayo]

*::rimjob::

[@MarcillaSmith]

+btpbtpbtp ewwwwww!!!! LOL

[@sevendinosaursatemypizza]

Rule 34.

[@spencereades]

Makes you wonder what other characters would have shown up in the XXX-Men porn parody? Professor Sex? Vulvarine? Trouser Cyclops?

[@sprocket5000]

Colossus

[@jessmcknight1873]

katie's new hair looks so good!!

[@ottosixtysix8546]

Good episode, worth the wait. Katie looks good with the short hair.

[@cameronbird118]

you guys should really do more after hours this series is what got me into this channel.

[@mureithikivuti]

Finally, a movie ive watched. Maybe that's why most characters lose the people they love so that they only depend on only the prof.

[@Weird_but_neat]

omfg I love katys new haircut so much

[@levongevorgyan6789]

Batman has a contingency plan for all of his friends on the Justice League. Is he secretly a bad guy?

[@JoaoPessoa86]

+Levon Gevorgyan who? The high functioning sociopath that throws children at the mentally chalanged?

[@OtherGonzo]

+Levon Gevorgyan Yes, he's a rich guy who spends all his money to beat up people, rather that fixing the social problems that lead to crime. Plus, if Gotham is to be believed all the people he's beating up are 20 years older than him.

[@zaw3607]

I mean, he was in BvS. He main goal was to kill superman and any criminal standing in his way. I really hope the batfleck film is a prequel to BvS.

[@jedidethfreak]

+Levon Gevorgyan Depends on how you look at it. Batman's contingency plans are not for the other members turning on HIM, it's for them just turning bad. Xaviers were if the X-men turned on him specifically. Batman knew that if his fellow League members turned evil, no Earthly force could stop them. Ergo, some power needed to be created to keep the balance, should they turn. The special features of The Dark Knight Returns movie has this explained very well, arguing "checks and balances" for the reasoning behind it. Batman's plans were also created due entirely to his keen skills of observation and deductive reasoning. Xavier literally ripped these plans from their heads, either by playing friend/teacher/psychologist, or straight-up telepathy.

[@jedidethfreak]

+OtherGonzo Canonically, that's not true. Bruce Wayne actually spends three times more money on social programs, crime prevention, and charitable giving than on Batmanning. He funds schools, homeless shelters, public transportation, police forces, police retirement funds, public defense programs, parks, senior centers, etc.

[@flynnswagmire4303]

WOOT! So good! I haven't even watched it yet... After Hours is always good, so I'm just assuming...

[@flynnswagmire4303]

I was right.

[@LKH165]

I've always said that and I'll say it again: Xavier has the best super power ever! He reads minds, erase memories, plant ideas, mind control and brain washes anyone as he pleases. No one is safe around him, they can't even know if they're ideas and thoughts are real or coming from him. Without their minds, everyone on the planet is a puppet to him, with exception perhaps of Dark Phoenix and Magneto. But that means Magneto cannot remove his helmet ever, not even to sleep, shower or get a haircut.

[@joeelliott4820]

Cracked: if you movie smart you do not win at chess then quit Paul Morphy: we see

[@WilliamHasMelted]

Is it me or does Katie look really good?

[@dipperdandy]

+Bob Jones fooool she always looks good! But yeah she does.

[@Tanspartan1]

+dipperdandy she looks like a lesbian

[@WilliamHasMelted]

+Tanspartan1 that doesn't mean bad

[@DrewberTravels]

+Bob Jones I just thought to myself when I saw the hair that this is the first time I have ever enjoyed that look. I have an internet crush with this woman.

[@WilliamHasMelted]

+Bishop Coxcomb I mean I thought she looked fine, but I only liked her before because she was hilarious

[@dingdud6602]

Oh my god Katie! Your hair is adorable! Good choice!

[@ryanvern3513]

No

[@atree88]

+Nina Nilsen YES! :D

[@feferis]

Yeah it looks so cute!

[@Piotwor]

+Nina Nilsen It does make her incredibly fuckable, yes.

[@sevendinosaursatemypizza]

Hubba Hubba.

[@nadiajohansen3660]

I'm in love with Katie's new haircut.

[@ryanellis1708]

Love you guys as always, but how come we don't see Katie in other Cracked videos? We see lots of Soren, Daniel and Michael, but Katie is only ever in the café. I require more!

[@cutsieproductions4805]

I seriously love how when Dan says “ Sink the dagger Katie!” Katie’s first concern is that he only has a spoon.

[@TheAlexR96]

Katie! Great Hair! Wow

[@cammameil]

This was delightful. Thank you for making it. I disagree with the premise though. In the Marvel universe mutants are born from regular human parents with no powers, which is why the analogy of homosexuality or race fits so aptly as a placeholder for those ideas. Gay people don't just fall out of the sky (sorry to burst your bubble, but it is not, in fact, "raining men"). They don't pass through a membrane from another dimension, they are born into families with "objectively straight" parents, and then usually raised by those same parents, and taught their values (which is a loaded term, I'll grant you). But they don't appear out of nowhere is my point. There are only so many babies born per year, and only so many of those are part of whatever group you want to divide them into. After that year is over, that number of living babies, from that year, starts dropping. Circumstances like who your parents are, the food they feed you, and the place you live in, who has contact with you, all contribute to your survival or demise. I experienced this personally when my son was born. There was a measles outbreak happening, at the time, and he was too young for the vaccine, and across the street was a young girl, who was school-aged, who had boundary issues, who wanted to play with the baby. She would hound me every time I was loading him into the car. And as a parent, you are keenly aware that measles is a death sentence for most infants, and I can't tell, if she's a carrier, or if she's been vaccinated at all, or if one of her friends coughed on her or what. So I both can't allow her to touch me or my child, for fear she is going to get some of it on me or him. And it is really hard to explain to another parent, without getting the cops involved, why you kicked their six year old in the chest after "using my words" didn't have any effect. Magneto has no real chance of winning his "war". In order to win, the mutants would have to outbreed the existing human population at a staggering rate, an unsustainable rate when you get down to the math of it. Every single female mutant character would have to be pregnant, all the time, to make this outcome even remotely possible. There is also no real proof, in the movies anyway, that breeding two mutants together automatically gets you another mutant. It is entirely possible that they would just be a normal human baby, missing out on all the cool superpower genes of their parents. What do you do then under Magneto's rule? Do you just murder a newborn baby because it doesn't have powers? It would be the same thing if there was such a thing as a "gay" gene and a robust government program to test for and wipe out anyone with the gene. The parents wouldn't stand for it, a lot of cops would get killed in the process along with a few hundred babies and then there would be an open rebellion with government buildings being bombed and burned down by angry citizens. Magneto's plan is to make it a mutant's only world - that can't exist in the timeframe of his life. He won't live to see it, even if he is slightly successful in the short-term, because most of the mutants can't actually run the infrastructure that holds this world together. If you just had the mutants, and no normal people; is any mutant an expert on how to manage and run a nuclear reactor, because Magneto is going to need that guy to be EVERYWHERE! Since you can't just flip a switch and turn those off. Which mutant in the franchise is really good at either farming or ranching? Are they going to team up with the mutant good at meat packing and inspection? Which mutant is really good at dam and bridge building? How many mutants know how to refine gasoline, or grow coffee, or build an airplane like the X-1? Magneto's plan involves giving up all of your "human" comforts simply for the sake of not being discriminated against, despite the fact that being a mutant means you have a free "I can kick your ass" ticket for almost any situation. It doesn't make any logical sense. If I was Magneto, and I was stopped by a cop on the street, I would just use my mind powers to shove a penny up the cop's ass and move on - no real reason to kill the guy, he's already got a penny jammed up his ass. Plus if he didn't wear the cape and the helmet, he probably wouldn't get pulled over so much, oh wait, he doesn't drive, he flies...how is he being harassed by cops in the first place? Superman doesn't seem to get pulled over too often, come to think of it... Xavier's plan is even more stupid than Magneto's. Half of it makes some sense, the other half does not. You come to his school to test the limits of your powers in a way that doesn't endanger others (typically, Rogue being an exception), but then you are enlisted into an army to fight a bunch of strangers who are led by a lunatic who doesn't understand population statistics? If you were coming to the school to try to learn how to control your powers and blend in, when in the intro seminar do they tell you that "oh yeah, you are part of this army now"? When you get to boot camp, in real life, they tell you "Your ass is mine now." and they mean it. Xavier's soft landing on the same premise is what makes it unbelievable for me. It sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And also X isn't providing any real service, all the stuff that takes place, mutant power-wise, at the school could just as easily be done alone in the woods or a cornfield or the desert, or some other remote location with not a lot of people. But X's plan is just baffling. He wants humans and mutants to coexist. That's going to happen anyway, without his intervention because, as I said earlier, normal human parents give birth to mutants, just like straight parents give rise to gay children occasionally. The only way to wipe out all the mutants is to wipe out all the normal humans too. And just like the Magneto example of a normal baby being born to mutant parents, the opposite would also be true. No parent is going to sacrifice their child for the sake of the law. Normal parents of mutant babies would not allow them to be killed, and again you would have an open revolt against the government. Xavier wants to foil Magneto's plans to make a mutant only world, but he somehow isn't smart enough to realize how impossible Magneto's plan is, just from a population standpoint. Mutant or not, the human body still needs clean water every three days or so, is anyone good at running a water treatment plant, by themselves, without a reliable source of electricity, and absolutely no on the job training or prior experience? You're giving Xavier way too much credit by calling him a villain. He's not. For all his brain powers he should be the CEO of WorldCorp - the company that owns everything, because I said so. Instead he's living in a quaint country mansion surrounded by stupid kids trying to learn to fly or shoot fire out of their hands instead of jerking off. Why stand in Magneto's way? What does it accomplish? At least in the first one, there was a reason to intervene, because Magneto's machine didn't actually work the way he thought it would. Why doesn't Xavier just let the military sort out Magneto and his gang? X's main reason for the school is to train mutants to control their powers right? Not to fight in a war with a maniac who law enforcement agencies are going to eventually put down when they switch to plastic rifles and glass bullets.

[@Crabappley]

+cammameil ...You kicked a 6 year old in the chest? To the extent you had to talk to the police? That was your only way? I can see why you have missed the entire premise of discord between these peoples.

[@JarredMallard]

read all of this but I'm still stuck on kicking a six year old in the chest. but your point is beyond valued.

[@scottstarbuck9254]

I will make this a little shorter than your comment. Kill all "normal" humans, use robots, becuse Magneto could probably do the first two if he had the ability to openly recruit (and brainwash) mutants.

[@cammameil]

Crabappley I didn't actually kick her, but to her parents it looked like that. What I did was stand on one leg and sort of slowly nudge her away with the toe of my shoe, until I could safely open the door to my car, secure my son inside and close it. To her parents it looked like I was kicking her because their daughter was blocking the view of what was actually happening, but yes, they came storming out and we had a "discussion" about their daughter.

[@Jasmine-tl6yr]

We can't be sure how many mutants there truly are in marvel universe. Going by the movies think about the one where Jean Gray went dark and joined up with Magneto. Many are shown going in for the cure, and many are with Magneto. This shows that there are many mutants independently doing their own thing having nothing to do with either group. To better your analog, your opinion is mutants are the gene for red hair, which is a small percentage and on the decline. I would have to say it's more comparable to blue eyes, being fairly common but not the most. With brown eyes being humans. So in time or already in said universe mutants are a close second to humans. Especially since it seems mutants have always been there.

[@Emilytea]

Great episode, as always! Ah, I think I need to rewatch the X-Men movies.

[@Overglock]

Having Storm teach meteorology would be a terrible idea. "All right class, the reason it rains is because I fucking say so. Same with wind, snow, fog, and all that other shit. Class dismissed."

[@ralphsattler8014]

I agree. Also having wolverine teach history would be entertainingly short as well lol

[@thxjez]

Katie pulls off so many different colors and styles for her hair. Love it.

[@tinkrtailr]

Katy! I love your new haircut!!

[@Tahonamaya]

I wrote my extended essay (basically a 4000 word research paper) on this EXACT TOPIC. Guys, Cracked gets me!

[@partydean17]

No way you actually did

[@side-beeetaloniswolfwolfac4179]

"...it's a two person endeavor." He Heheh.

[@artistwithouttalent]

Hey, loved the video, and I know you guys have probably already written the next episode, but have you thought about a RoboCop-centric episode?

[@lady_caiti]

I appreciate that Katie's first objection to "sinking the dagger" was that she only had a spoon

[@KamJ2010]

Why did you all go back to Green Screen? Location shoots rock!!

[@VictorFrost]

You noticed it too? Thank god.

[@myotheremailisacat]

Probably because it's cheaper. After Hours is already one of, if not their most expensive skits, after all.

[@PtolemyJones]

Some months the only funny one, too...

[@TLeeComedy]

After Hours was and is still shot on location, and will be until arson is legalized.

[@BrickBuster2552]

They do realise that most of the students DO NOT BECOME X-MEN, right?! Also, most of the team in Days Of Future Past? ALSO NOT X-MEN! Also, Days of Future Past? ENDED THE WAR BETWEEN MUTANTS AND HUMANS ENTIRELY.

[@travistolbert9796]

+BrickBuster2552 Boy, that new movie is gonna be pretty boring then.

[@gracebridgette7848]

+Travis Tolbert no, now it's mutant v mutant

[@BrickBuster2552]

Travis Tolbert Except there was only one movie with it present.

[@HelloItsMikkan]

And? They are still indoctrinated into his belief thus he can spread his recruitment to future Mutants those people have interacted meaning more chess pieces for him to use

[@franinconverse]

Soren looking after Dan is the best thing about After Hours

[@renejimenez8329]

Great episode!!!! Love how the running joke is how prepared Daniel is lmao

[@Drace90]

Unbelievable. Another victory for Dan. Heekps bringing the game to new levels. Dan is like the Michael Jordan of pointless popcuilture debates! Daniel: 23 Soren: 16 Katie: 17 Michael: 21

[@FULLofJOHN]

Does this episode have better quality video but shittier audio?

[@kamenwaticlients]

+John Ros I get the feeling that the audio that was recorded separately didn't work out so they used camera sound or the audio level was really low so they had to boost which adds noise.

[@libbybollinger5901]

+Brandon “Innomen” Sergent Dude Clam down

[@LadyDeft30]

yeah, Schmitty the Clam down

[@krombopulos_michael]

Katie's new haircut is looking pretty hawt

[@Explosivo717]

+Krombopulos Michael I used to think short hair on chicks was sexy as hell. Then my wife cut her hair and it was like kissing a boy. ...a sexy, sexy boy.

[@dreaminginnoother]

+Krombopulos Michael was gonna say the same thing.

[@elijahbailey7808]

right!

[@donellis9377]

Wait...arnt u dead?

[@mechanicalDave]

Don Ellis rick probably resurrected him so that he can earn more flurbos to chill at blitz and chips

[@xxxAnaconda69]

you can't get mad at Xavier for having a contingency plan against the mutants he's fighting alongside. what if they turn on him?Batman has one for every member of the Justice League,and he doesn't get called out for it.

[@xxxAnaconda69]

I meant by the fans,not the actual characters.the characters always hated Batman's contingency plans lol.

[@theretrobro3826]

On the subject of "just changing a villain's mind", Xavier tried that before; Onslaught happened, and over a dozen heroes died AND mutants were hunted for Interment Camps. So... not a good plan.

[@sbtlwrld4917]

this just came up on my recommendations and i went from so happy to so sad very quickly

[@jkboone90]

The university of dark phoenix joke was pretty good katie

[@nmarrs8539]

I love how Soren wrote this episode and Dan is still the bad guy in the end.

[@slimeysosa1013]

love this show u cant get this kind of brilliance on cable

[@mrScififan2]

You guys are soooooo funny! Well done!

[@johnks54]

one flaw to your theory from X-Men, Professor X was taken out near the end of the movie with some weird serum, so that's why he couldn't control Toad or Sabretooth.

[@maicolmallers2999]

I watched this just before going to work -I mean in a rush, still it looks poorly made. Last month I asked to trade several other videos for two afterhours videos and my post got a bunch of likes... Is this Cracked's response? Are sabotaging their best asset? *At least one with the highest ratings.

[@CalamityM]

+Maicol Mallers Yes, dear little snowflake, this is Crack's personal response to your post on a video a month back. They decided that some random, well-liked, comment on one of their videos had so much gravitas that they needed to commit themselves to it immediately. Hmm, narcissistic much?

[@Fire-in-the-sky]

+SardonicSpirals lol

[@sevendinosaursatemypizza]

+SardonicSpirals Roast confirmed.

[@cracked]

+SardonicSpirals HA!

[@mthlay15]

I think that first persons response is sarcastic.

[@MoonBeamLaser]

...and her clothes fall off, she tries to cover up but it's too late, he's seen everything

[@grovatron]

hahaha

[@Corvo_B]

Loved that bit

[@RebuildingYourRuins]

what are you guys talking about?

[@grovatron]

+RebuildingYourRuins check out Patrick Stewart on Extras

[@RebuildingYourRuins]

Ok! Thanks!!

[@sebaseba6710]

guys where is obsessive pop culture disorder? ????

[@acemstudio]

Something I just realized was....Xavier is EXTREMELY powerful. He essentially lead Logan to his office through mind games, he controlled Sabertooth's mind and Toad's body...He can mentally PARALYZE PEOPLE HE DID THIS TWICE IN X2 He can tell people to do WHATEVER he wants he's like the Killgrave of X-Men. ...So whyyyyyy wouldn't he go to ALL world leaders and be like "Don't hunt mutants. Don't experiment on us. Don't use us as weapons. Accept us into your society. Live peacefully with us." BOOM. NO PROBLEMS.

[@greywolf7577]

Because he has a limited range to his powers. He needs cerebro to find mutants, but can't control people at a distance. Plus, he can only control people as long as he concentrates on them. All he can do is scare world leaders, not enslave them.

[@thomasgladwell435]

Not to mention (going back to the Deadly Genisis story) that part of that initial team he sent to save the original X-Men (before the team most of us recognise featuring Nightcrawler, Collossus, Storm and Wolverine) featured Vulcan (Gabreal Summers, younger brother of Scott Summers and Alex Summers - Cyclopse and Havok) and when Vulcan was assumed dead Xavier wipeed all memory of Vulcans exsistance from Cyclopse and Havoks minds untill Vulcan returned in 2008)

[@leonardocorleone5344]

That 'Once and Future King Me' reference tho. ;}

[@MelindaBane]

It must be a joy to work in the Cracked offices...

[@mateomagnus8482]

Xavier is not wholly evil he is just a flawed man trying to make home for mutants and humankind

[@nee6EeTo]

I can't see someone of Professor X's powers ever being bored. I mean, come on... He gets endless entertainment, straight from the minds of the world's best artists and connoisseurs. You know, the rabid fans that manage to enjoy every single thing? He can tap right into their minds and experience the same pleasure and satisfaction they do. No way is boredom a driving force for Xavier. A better explanation would be that he's doing it to prevent existential risk or something. Maybe he's a tyrant, but he's a benevolent one, an anti-hero who uses villainous tactics towards a good end. For example, some mutants are pretty powerful (Jean Grey/Phoenix, e.g.) and it's generally going to be better for them to be fighting other mutants than wiping human cities off the map. He is probably also helping prevent nuclear war (which incidentally would probably trigger more x-genes if it happened -- the explosion in mutant population is attributed to atomic pollution).

[@YoYakuman]

I love after hours. I look forward to it every month. Also Katie's new haircut is super cute

[@rodvinsky]

I'm now worried about half the cast's hair.

[@danjbundrick]

I declare that Cracked release nothing save After Hours videos. I have willed it. Kneel before Zod.

[@e32b61]

There're a few things wrong with their comparison between Xavier's school and the Olympic village. First off, the phrase "all at the pinnacle of evolution" doesn't make any sense. There is no pinnacle to evolution. There is only constant adaptation. Any species that simply exists can be said to be at the forefront of evolution because the only comparison would be to its antecedents, and even then they are only different, not better unless natural elements put them at a disadvantage big enough to wipe them out. Secondly, the mutant abilities of X-Men are not the products of evolution at all. If they were, then they'd all share traits like a healing factor or whatever. They wouldn't develop individual powers. But that's neither here nor there. A wizard did it, whatever. The other issue is something I know a thing or two about: namely, orgies. Look, some mutants may have the ability to win gold in the hundred meter dash or the high jump or deadlift a million pounds or win at the time trials for the eyeblink-the-TV-channel event, but that ability is inborn. It doesn't make them fit. A 10 year old who plays outside all day and exercises, eats well, and is big for his age still can't lift as much as a 400 pound, 6'7" retired linebacker with Diabetes and an over-eating problem. The latter is stronger, but who is fitter? Now compare young people of the same age, but with the same disparity. The Olympic village orgy isn't about who gets to knock boots with the archery record-holder or the person who can lift the most weight. It's about banging incredibly FIT hot bodies. No one wants to boink the Blob when there are guys who could model for Calvin Kline underwear to be had. Quicksilver may be faster, but no one is choosing him over Usain Bolt in a threesome. Which brings me to the last point. Lots of X-Men and mutants are not only BUTT UGLY, but completely useless and weak to boot. There is actually a character named Ugly John. Look him up. Cracked pointed out Skin, Wraith, Beak and... Jubilee, apparently. Now look up "Sexy Olympians". Case closed. The Olympic Village orgy is WAAAY better than Xavier's School for the Wretched.

[@brokenwave6125]

ArkhamInmateE32b Ok well the point was...they are humans (or humanoids) with significant powers. And as far as the movies are concerned...they are pretty much all attractive (since they're professional actors)

[@nathanjora7627]

ArkhamInmateE32b Justine thing on how their powers should all be the same/they should have powers in common : No they shouldn’t. Of course mutations can’t give magic powers, but if they could suddenly do that, the people getting these mutations should all have different powers most of the time, the same way few people (in terms of frequency) share similar non magic mutations I the real world. What should happened though is that there powers should start spreading in the population as time goes on and either grow in frequency until they « meet » (powers start blending together as more and more people share magic mutations increasing the likelihood of two mutants getting together), or die out because they are unfit (in the evolutionary sense of the word). So they shouldn’t all have the same powers when magic mutations start happening, large sections of the population should share common mutations in a relatively distant future way after magic mutations start happening. I mean it’s the basis of genetic : their powers should be the same if and mostly if (no error here) their mutation comes from common ancestry, and we should expect their powers to be wildly different if and mostly if (still no error) they got their mutations individually at random, disconnected from one another (which is what we see in the movies). And you’d need a third or fourth generation mutant to decide wether or not a mutation obtained through common ancestry and not giving the same powers as the genitors is or isn’t genetically sound. So except for the fact that mutations are magic, the movies’ genetic is correct.

[@son.flower]

This comment section is hilarious. It's all about Katie's amazing (and cute) haircut. I've also always liked Magneto. He has one of the coolest powers in that universe.

[@l.a_f6488]

Okay we now know who saw this video, took It, ran with it, then tripped and fell and released X-Men: Dark Phoenix

[@shadowjewel]

I think a lot of the points raised in this video can be explained by human fallibility, in both the character and the writers. This goes double when there is more then one writer and the writer/s are not as smart as the characters they are writing. Harsh but there it is.

[@dasaunmcclinton68]

I see that Katie got the Lena Dunham

[@sevendinosaursatemypizza]

+IveGotToast Dunham roasted confirmed.

[@InverseAgonist]

+seven dinosaurs more like toasted, nyuk nyuk nyuk

[@GoddoDoggo]

Excuse me, pixie cuts existed LONG before that annoying dildo Dunham donned it.

[@lostenthestory5379]

This makes up for all the bullshit this channel spewed out in the last couple of weeks.

[@useful76]

Makes up for but does not excuse.

[@aphr0d]

+useful76 loool

[@Mosniff]

+Dylan Pemberton Pretty entitled there Dylan.

[@CraigMetalHead]

+Dylan Pemberton You've been pushing too many pencils, Dylan.

[@ezakustam]

Pretty astute there, Dylan.

[@BlueHero45]

Best part is that a lot of this is canon in the comics. Much of X-men legacy is Xavier realizing what a shit he's been over the years.

[@alexiswelsh5821]

My question: are doctors and school nurses in the X-Men universe required to record when a patient becomes a mutant? “Mutantism” is a genetic condition that lies dormant for about a decade, right? There are other genetic conditions that lie dormant for years (certain allergies, nearsightedness, dementia, etc.), all of which can be viewed on medical records. Of course these require proper medical care to both get the diagnosis and have proper records, which the X-men universe has.