CRAIG'S FINAL MELTDOWN r/rpghorrorstories

This is it, gentlecrabs, my suffering is lifted, craig's final meltdown is nigh. And it's all of you that got us this far. Here's to you!
Join the Discord! / discord
Support me on Patreon! / critcrab
Follow me on Twitter! / crabcrit
Donate some ₿ 18kCK9p1o1iHud9a66QTzraCyAhYvTipVw

[@minerturtle45]

*shoots literal police officer i the knee and drags him to the ground* "why are you conspiring against me?" only craig, guys

[@nickieBurke]

"OW WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" "he looks at you with his doll like eyes while being completely silent."

[@beepbop6542]

The Craig cries out in pain as he shoots you

[@kuno3336]

Responding from the future: Biden won the election, and a bunch of Trump supporters charged the capitol to stop the election results from being ratified. Those same people said it wasn't fair when they were maced, arrested, and charged with crimes. So, strictly speaking, not just Craig. Unless... unless they were all Craig

[@nickieBurke]

@@kuno3336 dude i think you didnt go far enough back, but i agre

[@beepbop6542]

@@kuno3336 Charged the capitol? Dude they walked in, stole a podium, and yelled a bit. Much more peaceful than the druggie criminal George Floyd and the violent BLM riots.

[@mkx27e]

I recently sprained my ankle and for the first day that it was sprained, I couldn't walk. I had to either hop or be wheeled around in my office chair by my boyfriend. If I wanted a drink or a snack I had to ask him to get it for me. The whole time I felt so bad that he had to go to these lengths to take care of me. My boyfriend was nice and supportive about it, but I couldn't help wondering how it would be if I had a boyfriend who instead would use my lack of mobility as a bargaining chip - you know, refusing to help me unless I treated him in just the right way or something like that. Anyway, the fact that Craig's ideal waifu is someone who is so dependent on him that she literally cannot even run from him shakes me to my core.

[@CritCrab]

When I read the first two sentences of your comment I was really afraid it was gonna be about a Craiglike bf. Glad I read it through to the end lol. Tell your boyfriend I said he's cool. Also I cannot agree more about what you said about Craig. That's creepy at best and the purest fuel for abuse at worst. Here's hoping Craig is only a twat at the gaming table.

[@anthonystike6034]

@@CritCrab it was expected with the first 2 videos in the set. He gave the name Craig bad publicity.

[@oliviawilliams6204]

I feel you, it reminds me when I was in rehab for months and was dependents of other people for help too. It is indeed very creepy. Glad your boyfriend is a decent guy

[@ferhad9865]

That would be terrifying. I wouldnt wish that for my worst enemy. btw am I the only one thinking that craig has some unhealthy kinks? Kinda makes him creepy

[@SamSam-qh1os]

That got a little dark.

[@patrickobrien6251]

“Imagine that girl minus two legs” Is a truly cursed string of words that just set off everyone’s fight-or-flight response.

[@maccychee3858]

What about Karen?

[@zynstein8059]

its a bit of a cursed phrase ye but it isn't nearly as bad on it's own as it was when he's talking about a HALF NAKED anime girl IN THE SHOWER

[@patrickobrien6251]

Zynstein FIGHT OR FLIGHT ACTIVATED AND THIS TIME ITS FIGHT BUT THERES NOBODY AROUND TO FIGHT

[@CritCrab]

@@patrickobrien6251 *CONFUSED SCREAMING*

[@Tunkkis]

@@zynstein8059 Now you've confused me, how does your level of "clothed-ness" or the act of showering make what was said any more or less worse?

[@grimmreaver9355]

Honestly, Dollface would have been a awesome BBEG. Pretending to be indebted to Craig's character while secretly plotting against him because she blames him for her situation. He was the cop suppose to come to 911 distress call and since he was a poor cop failed to help her.

[@maccychee3858]

Somebody write a campaign about that

[@darkangelziggy286]

Especially if her hospital turned out to be the demonic one.

[@Star-vf8vz]

I'm amassing a pile of game ideas from this channel where bad ideas are made good. This is going on the list.

[@akl2k7]

Better yet, she has powers that allow her to float or sprout out multiple spider legs or something, showing that she doesn't need legs to get around.

[@redghost-uy7hq]

Honestly that's a great idea and could have easily been done if this player wasn't Craig

[@dracokaleb1239]

"His ideal waifu." Ok let's see what you had in mind Craig. "A sickly girl with no legs" ... wait what.

[@darrellwillis4871]

DracoKaleb 123 That gave me some real predator vibes. "I'm the hero of the story... Also, I have this crippled girlfriend who is completely submissive to my will!"

[@oliviawilliams6204]

Darrell Willis and why she’s like that? Ah yes because I wrote her that way.

[@grimmcrag8715]

That bit had me rolling. 😂

[@CreeketsCreek]

Which is weird as hell from my perspective because legs are the most physically attractive thing in a girl but I digress--

[@metademetra]

It gives me "I would intentionally make someone sick so they have to rely on me" vibes.

[@maelys199]

A little underwhelming for a final battle. Then again, Craig was never going to amount to much.

[@williamchristensen7354]

Nice burn.

[@evanracer9]

Oh fuck

[@darrellwillis4871]

Just like Craig wanted, anticlimactic.

[@pianotm]

If not all Elijahs, then which Elijahs?

[@visnoga5054]

You probably have forgotten what this is all about since but trust me, the fact that your comment has 911 likes is perfectly on point.

[@mu115]

It’s the final meltdown do do do do, do do do do do.

[@TieberiusVoidWalker]

Darn, you beat me to it

[@hoonty4890]

Mark U oh hell yeh

[@trinimixstudios5217]

What is this crab thing?

[@TBKholyavenger]

Soon as I clicked on this video, I sang this.

[@robertlombardo8437]

The FINAL MELT-DOWN! OOOOHHH!

[@JoaoGuilherme-ss6oz]

Everyone talking about the story meanwhile I'm here wandering what does Critcrab's argonian has against cabbages

[@deathsheir2035]

I'm wondering about that myself.

[@satannstuff]

It's probably a religious thing, argonians worship trees.

[@BunnyTheOverlord]

Yeah I was watching that and him trying to get a rise out of the Jarl

[@CritCrab]

Don't say the C word 🤬 on my channel. 😠🦀

[@FLFL-Cookays]

@@CritCrab What? Crab?

[@warcraftfan5]

"Elijah Dante Ramsey" The name itself makes me think of an unholy combination of Frodo, Dante from DmC and Gordon Ramsay. Would probably have been better than Craig's actual character.

[@Statedrum]

Tom Cruise I think with Craig, it’s more Ramsey Bolton

[@OrangeyChocolate]

I can see it now: a tiny, hairy-footed man wearing a long coat of red leather, carving a swathe of destruction through hordes of demons with a sword and twins pistols, all the while screaming “It’s fucking RAW!”

[@Backstabmacro]

Orangey and of course, his infamous battle cry: *”HERE COMES THE LAMB SAUCE!!!!”*

[@cielopachirisu929]

THE RING IS RAWWWWW

[@Squeekysquid]

I want to make this character now. Like he seems hilarious. Maybe not great for a long campaign but maybe a module or one shot.

[@captainevildjdude1405]

It feels like an end of an era

[@CritCrab]

It really is.

[@josefsvec5236]

@@CritCrab All ends are a beginning of something new however :)

[@nohumans2]

lol funny enough I felt exactly what this sentence says.

[@PRGME7]

CritCrab wait are you gonna do rpghorrorstories still or variety content

[@captainevildjdude1405]

@@PRGME7 CritCrab is still gonna make videos, its just an end of a video saga.

[@joshuamorrow8863]

I love how he shot a man because he didn't wanna be put in the back seat, and then immediately after gets put in the back seat of a police car

[@xFlareLeon]

I can just imagine Elijah whining, "H-Hey, why am I in the back seat? Put me in the front seat or I'll fucking kill you!"

[@hiro4344]

I thought the same exact thing.

[@ArcCaravan]

Probably karmic. Or ironic. Could be a coincidence with police procedure. Now I'm imagining Craig/Elijah continuing his crap until the cops let him be taken in while riding the front seat.

[@getthegoons]

"They put you in the back of the patrol car." Craig- "I SAID I RIDE IN THE FRONT!"

[@ArcCaravan]

That just makes me think of a comedic GTA character.

[@raskr8137]

I finally got it guys, CRAIG meanz C-utscene making, R-ailroad keeping, A-nime copying, and simply I-rrelevant, get ready for G-M of your nightmares!

[@AAllen-br8it]

I've got one better. I'm pretty sure it stands for: C- Praise R- Our A- Lord I- Jesus G- Christ

[@Xanditbb]

C-ritcrab R-ead A-bout an Un-I-nteractive G-uy On Reddit

[@CritCrab]

You put way too much effort into this. Are you okay?

[@ultramegamighty]

C-an't R-eally A-djust I-n G-eneral

[@fugitiveunknown7806]

Why am I hearing this in Ric Flair's voice?

[@dasseher1467]

Why I know that Craig is a monster? Playing munchkin calms someone down after having met Craig.

[@platinumpro54]

IKR. A game of Tokaido is a relaxing experience. Munchkin makes you want to murder the thief that successfully robbed you of all your gear because they keep rolling dice values above a four.

[@skywing5051]

As someone named Elijah, don't allow my name to be tainted by this dolt, as he doesn't represent us all. -from the coalition of Elijahs

[@deusvermiculus1072]

the confederation of Michels would like to assure you that we dont judge Elijahs on the actions of a single bad elijah.

[@mja2317]

Don't worry you've still got Elijah Wood, who role-played the protagonist of the most famous D&D campaign of all time.

[@CritCrab]

The Benpire agrees, Elijah's can be some of the realest mofos out there. Also frodo.

[@aster1760]

from the concord of Nicks(and names) we back the claim of the COE

[@zhontac6194]

As the only Zhontac (besides the one in ogrebattle64) that I know of, I do not pass any blame upon the Elijah coalition.

[@emiledlund9559]

“That’s her. Well minus two legs” is actually a quite funny thing to say

[@rorrim0]

Imagine a pretty girl if she took subtraction symbols to both her knees, until she gained the nick name stumpy.

[@enoughofyourkoicarp]

@@rorrim0 Subtraction symbols? You mean arrows?

[@VelthAkabra]

"I'll let you guess while two."

[@TheGuardDuck]

What if it was minus 3 legs?

[@enoughofyourkoicarp]

@@TheGuardDuck You mean if Jake the peg got nerfed? Rolf Harris would release a new single, we don't need that.

[@nitemare6677]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to join a group when your name is also Craig since this saga?. Player: oh hey you interested in joining our group? Me: yeah sure, names craig Player: oh... i think we're full sorry Me: ...

[@Nildread]

It's easy to pretend your name is something else. Not that you should be pushed to that, but it could be funny.

[@maccychee3858]

Just adapt the nickname "Craigslist"

[@acemcknight2407]

I feel bad for you Craig you're not as bad as this other Craig

[@kayrupe125]

"Craig?" "No I said GREG"

[@SpeedwagonZaidan]

Use your middle name, unless you fear witches

[@bluemage67]

Thus concludes the end of an era. Side note: WHY DO THEY KEEP INVITING CRAIG TO ANYTHING?!

[@CareerKnight]

I feel like there is a big chunk of these stories missing (that or they are made up) as there is nothing to explain why they would put up with Craig for so long and how it didn't end with them throwing him out or immediately celebrating his departure.

[@propheinx2250]

I'm guessing it's one of these scenarios. 1, Craig is quite intimidating, he's got a bad - bordering on psychopathic - attitude, and knows where they live. 2, Craig is special and none of em wanted the social flak they'd receive from friends and family that also knew Craig and how special he is. 3, they were all relatively young and passive people who it would never occur to that they could just leave and say "fuck it if someone's feelings get hurt, they'll get over it."

[@the_plague7404]

As they said they were still a friend

[@LeopoldZ]

I mean this is the bad part from like thrre campaigns, it is a lot of time. Perhaps there was good moments as well. They usually don't make for an interesting story though.

[@gxtmfa]

@@propheinx2250 I’m guessing it’s 2. Kid sounds like he could use some help and they’re trying to be friendly, but they can’t shake the guy anymore.

[@CritCrab]

I didn't want to have to do this, but one must lose some to win some, Your king is still being held in my ultra high security barrel, and I'LL NEVER SET HIM FREE! I'll allow him to respond to comments though, no harm in that. TEHEHEHEHEEHEEEE -Barc Tirc

[@krissybaglin9206]

Hey, as long as theirs no amputation or rage quits or crying over the front seat of a car

[@krissybaglin9206]

//Note, as saying this, there's no way I could have watched the entire video

[@avascript3905]

HOW DARE YOU! I'll pick you up and fly you into the sky only to drop you and cracked your shell unless you release our Lord!

[@pookydookyneo4011]

Barc Tric, if you have imprisoned our lord, then we must see you try to narrate a tale yourself, to see if you are worthy of using this channel.

[@papadikolov1378]

(hands king a woodcutters knife)

[@sanfransiscon]

"Just imagine her without legs." Craig has never read Katawa Shoujo, and honestly I don't want him to. Emi is already offended.

[@dianniemiller8401]

Yoooo fr fr. Emi is HELLA independent!

[@nintendoman12111]

@@dianniemiller8401 Of all of the girls she was my second favorite, she was so well writen she actually sounded like a real person with real issues at times, that such a good fucking novel.

[@sinnerthesinful552]

He would probably go for Hanako, I still think Rin is best girl though

[@nintendoman12111]

@@sinnerthesinful552 Rin was such an emotional roller coaster, i liked her story, even if i didn't understand half of what she was saying. Lily is still my favorite girl though.

[@Ajehy]

He would go for Hanako, make all the “I’m doing things for you because delicate flower” decisions, get called out (as happens in her route, IIRC) and yeet his computer out of the window because his waifu is showing a sign of independence

[@pjdougherty6442]

The moment he left, I'm surprised the party didn't immediately start gleefully singing something along the lines of "Ding dong, the prick is gone!"

[@II-wu7mx]

He was only on the group to be the butt of their jokes man, this is the real world.

[@TheTrueDiablix]

Most people when they label a character their waifu in jest: "she's strong, has a sense of humor, and intelligent" craig: "so, she's crippled to the point of necessary codependance"

[@ArcCaravan]

I assume anyone who labels a character as their waifu just thinks they're hot or a viable girlfriend.

[@TheTrueDiablix]

@@ArcCaravan That's horribly inaccurate lol that is a vast vast vast minority of people who use the term

[@ArcCaravan]

@@TheTrueDiablix I've seen plenty of characters called waifus that didn't fit your description.

[@TheTrueDiablix]

That's because my initial description was a quip specifically mocking craig. Unless the only way you've interacted with anime fans is through something like r waifuism, ie a place specifically made for the serious ones to gather, the odds of you having not predominantly encountered people doing it in jest is practically 0, and it's far more likely you've simply not recognized your repeated encounters with Poe's Law

[@ArcCaravan]

@@TheTrueDiablix I honestly have a low opinion of the waifu concept in general, just stating what I've seen and heard online.

[@Tyler-ij2bm]

My favorite part was the dancing crabs, it was crabtastic

[@EradWir]

Crabrave

[@DepravedMorgath]

@@EradWir Crabtacular

[@derinedala5032]

If I recall correctly, one of Craig's favourite DM moves was to show his affection for the OP by blatantly favouring his characters and forcing them into the singular heroic role, sidelining everyone else and bending the entire plot around them. He was probably heartbroken at this lack of reciprocation and took the OP's actual proper DMing as a personal betrayal.

[@VioletMoonfox]

Damn, I was really hoping this would come down to the girlfriend being in the possessed hospital, has new demon legs, and tries to murder him.

[@drago3036]

Same

[@themagicalrobotprisma2793]

Thanks for the head cannon

[@melaniescribbles]

Now that would be an awesome late game scenario! Murder seems a bit too kind here, though. I can already imagine her with demon legs that give her superhuman speed, a scalpel in her hand, her head slightly cocked, and a demented grin on her face. She notices Elijah, and lets out a devilish chuckle. Que the dialogue explaining that she had to put on an act because she needed him, but because of how he treated her, she got enraged enough to want to seriously hurt him. And let's hope that Craig is smart enough to run, because I'd already have a plan for a chase thing involving her. She could easily catch up to him if she wanted to, not even straining. But if he runs, she'll give chase... just to play with her prey. And she'll savor the moment when he reaches the dead end at the end of that hallway that I'd definitely throw in if it were my game. She'll just try to keep the rest of party off her beeline route to Elijah, but she won't hesitate to make a kill there too if they try and intervene too much. And once she reaches him, Craig's gonna wish I had her just kill him... She doesn't: instead, she slashes the muscles in both his knees, one after another, and then drags him off to the room she was in to see how HE likes being in her position. And I'd make it abundantly clear in her words that this sure isn't a yandere: she'll be legit torturing him every day... hope his other kink is having his fingernails pulled out.

[@themagicalrobotprisma2793]

@@melaniescribbles you kinda make it sound like the girlfriend is cool with the rest of the party. Which could lead to really funny sitcom scenarios for me in my mind.

[@melaniescribbles]

@@themagicalrobotprisma2793 Eh, she's just hyperfocused on Elijah in the moment: a few wrong choices could definitely divert her attention for a short while, but I'd go easy on them to let them know I'm up to something. I mean, that scenario would only be there to teach Craig something about thinking about who your character is.

[@catoticneutral]

"the sword of reading the words on the damn screen and they shield of apathy" You forgot the magic ring of automatic curse word censoring (not including damn)

[@hoonty4890]

Crit I’m a hermit and almost never comment on a KZbin video out of anxiety but I gotta say I’m happy u grew a lot and even if this comment dies in the sea I will continue to support u from the shadows, hope u have a great day critcrab and crab army.

[@ethanrajczak3041]

Average trash weeb have a wonderful day yourself.

[@rarazalproductions519]

As a member of the crab army, would you say that you're a... hermit crab? Yeah sorry, I'll show myself out.

[@drago3036]

@@rarazalproductions519 Please, stay XDDDD That was wonderfuo

[@R3GARnator]

Lots of girls love anime if you give them the chance for it. Good way to tell is ask if they like disney movies. Then move onto Ghibli. Then move on to say Death Note.

[@tundrarunner4951]

"What!? How come I'm getting punished for shooting a police officer!?" Well, someone doesn't know that in-character actions=in-character consequences. Have you ever been on the BadRPer Subreddit? Plenty of crazies there.

[@christianboustani8284]

The fact that this all happened because he couldn't sit in the front seat of an imaginary car is hilarious

[@manybenefitsofmarinebiolog256]

For some reason, during the "SiT iN tHe BaCk!" argument, I'm imagining the old man psycho looking on in pure horror at what he started.

[@Katiekooleyes]

DM's tell stories of Craig around campfires on Halloween

[@dianniemiller8401]

LOL

[@apossiblyhereticalalphaleg3595]

"I shall tell you of a name few dare speak, Craig... his story still haunts us DM's, we fear that one day, one of our players will be Craig, and our worst nightmares will materialize"

[@landbeforetimeee]

*HOW BLUSHY DOES LUCY GET*

[@kingdyste5289]

This reminds me of a game I was in where we were asked to leave our weapons at the door, and our elven caster adamantly refused to do it. Everyone was pointing out to her how trivial this was; we were meeting a new PC at their apartment and we knew there was no ambush, the new PC was just asking for some courtesy in her home. Oh, and, y'know, the elf was a caster, and could just blast anybody if they were actually ambushed. It was enough that my character decided to wait outside to let off some steam afterwards (he was generally seen as the moral center of the group but had a few moments where he's gotten really angry, and was trying to prevent that from happening here), and eventually the elf was called out for some of her behaviour, leading to OoC issues because, yup, they viewed their character as based on themselves. So the morals are, I suppose: make sure your characters have at least some distance from yourself, and don't get so worked up over such minor things like seating arrangements or being courteous in someone's home.

[@DoctorSpacebar]

He didn't even ask them if they would really refuse him his walking stick?

[@sarafontanini7051]

@@thebestbuckethead the spellcasting point however refutes that

[@unoriginal1562]

“Attacked in a parking lot by a cannibalistic homeless woman with a magical machete. The usual stuff.” Wait that’s normal?! What kind of game is this...

[@blackdemonknight]

It is the World of Darkness my friend

[@kingofthehamsters]

Think low powered buffy. If the hunters actually are able to kill vampires in a game, then the gm has not bothered to read a vampire the masquerade source book or has taken much pity on the pitiful little humans. (Seriously, the idea of these 'hunters' taking down vampires was laughable. And I doubt werewolves wouldn't even deign to 'fight' them. Werewolves being pure murder machines. The changelings would run rings around them, and they wouldn't even know mages existed. Seriously, compared with what the supernatural races were capable of, the hunters were pathetic.)

[@Klaital1]

@@kingofthehamsters Note he specifically said it was from the new WoD era, aka not masquerade but requiem where the vampires are significantly weaker.

[@kingofthehamsters]

@@Klaital1 ah I see. I never played the new stuff.

[@kingofthehamsters]

@@Klaital1 ah yes, I did miss that. I looked at the newer stuff recently. It struck me as the skimmed milk equivalent of the Wod I once loved.

[@weilandloveland]

Did you ever hear the tragedy of... ThatGuy Craig, The GM? I thought not. Not something the DMs would tell you. It's a DnD legend. Great Lord Craig, was a dark lord of cringe. so powerful and so dumb, he could use the game system to influence the PCs to create... his fantasy. He had such a lack of respect, he could even keep the PCs he used... on an airship. The Waifu is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be douchey. He became so powerful that the one thing he feared was... being called out which eventually, of course he was. Unfortunately, he disrespected his fellows too much, then the new DM booted his character from the game. Ironic, he could insult his fellows, but couldn't take criticism himself.

[@CritCrab]

Real question though, does Craig become the monk from the psycho player video? Then mentally abuses his wife by trying to get her to amputate her legs? #crabcinematicuniverse

[@tanukioh]

My God, it all makes sense now.

[@RooneyHimself]

Dear god...

[@inigmianstudios2771]

Critcrab: yeah im never finishing this trilogy Us, the Subscribers: MUDAMUDAMUDA!!

[@leftblank1283]

I would say ZA WARUDO OBA HEBUN would be more appropriate

[@darrellwillis4871]

CritCrab: I'm not finishing- Craig: *Exists* CritCrab: Why do I hear boss music?

[@novadselir1068]

Yeah this campaign was dead on arrival the second “ Pretty boy private investigator” was mentioned.

[@dataerror4049]

Sips tea... "A sickly, powerless girl without legs that lived in a hospital". Holds hot tea in mouth while trying to process that sentence...

[@CritCrab]

Username checks out.

[@Marshadow01]

Imagine Craig’s reaction when he watches these videos about him He would probably be like “oh all those guys were overreacting and stuff, I did nothing wrong!” What an annoying dude

[@anthonystike6034]

Probably would not know they were about him. Probably thinks he is the greatest RPer ever. Everyone else, who knows him, knows it is him, but he just thinks the guy being described is a good player and gm/dm.

[@Bookluver29]

@@anthonystike6034 Or that the events are oddly familiar but it has to be another group because he's nothing like that.

[@sarafontanini7051]

Craig: has his character shoot a dude in the knee for NOT LETTING HIM SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A CAR, and then when it turns out shooting a cop leads to the cop's comraes ARRESTING YOU, blames the rest of the group for his shitty behaviour and storms out. And this is a dude in UNIVERSITY, screaming like a TEN YEAR OLD.

[@revan7383]

Franklin: *sits in a car seat* Craig: And I took that personally

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

got her the ometigtthe notification. Crab for life🦀

[@CritCrab]

FOR LIFE! 🦀

[@Mor.K9111]

Love these videos. I learn more about tabletops and gm'ing from these than playing dsa (das schwarze auge) with friends. Even if i am not a nativ english speeker i like to watch these. And the end of this tail fells so good. Greetings from Germany

[@Terrkas0]

I would say those reddit posts can show some of the more extreme cases. The average player will barely have those extreme players. About DSA, what is your favorite region? I like Andergast and Havena.

[@Mor.K9111]

@@Terrkas0 Barely played it only on Sylvester and on birthdays, when we all got time cause of work. And our dm made every think up just kept the classes and monsters of dsa. Yeah it is true with the cases, but so i can learn some red flags and things to avoid, when i plan on dm'ing. I want to make a 4 month work and travel in the us or canada so learning this things and hearing words i didn't learnd at school, are helping me. Where are you from, if i can ask.

[@Lost935boi]

Like Akihiko states in persona 3: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

[@n.a.nameless5435]

The "no legs GF" had me remembering a cadence song we did in the Marine Corps during the 1980s. My girl's a veg-table, she lives in a hos-pital. She's got her own TV, they call it an EKG there's much more to it, that should be enough to paint the mental picture though

[@Pundae]

11:43 lmao all that work just to be put in the backseat of a different car

[@michaelmiller2418]

"Craig was our friend" ..... No... no, he really wasn't. I'm perplexed at how you still view him as having ever been that way...

[@purplelily2608]

Yeah same. There's obviously some issues there he needs to work out. Once I see this pattern in a RP game I would start questioning what I know about this person.

[@sarafontanini7051]

sadly this happens, sometimes people just don't realise their friends are toxic and need to be removed in these situations

[@avrathilelmheath5538]

Ok, the story is cool and all, but I was highly entertained by your Argonian taunting the Jarl by sitting in his throne.

[@justinshetler3737]

For anyone wondering, the song at the beginning of the video is For A Lifetime by Yi Nantiro.

[@redrumssam5888]

I'll be honest, a former detective who's a quasai vigilante with someone he loves dependant on him who is also hosptialized sounds like an interesting character idea with a lot of potential

[@darrellwillis4871]

The Crooked Man It is to any sane player of TTRPGs. There's a lot of character ideas, as well as crucial roleplaying moments to be had. The thing is, Craig is the shitty version of King Midas.

[@redrumssam5888]

@@darrellwillis4871 truth, unfortunately

[@R3GARnator]

It's more like Craig is Gyges The Ring of Gyges (the story that inspired Gollum/Smeagol).

[@eaglgenes101]

@@darrellwillis4871 Everything he touches becomes fool's gold, laced with enough cadnium sulfide to make a person feel ill.

[@TheTrueDiablix]

It's a cool concept that in the right hands could've made for some very interesting character moments. However, he craiged it up

[@invyt]

literally had no idea you were a small sub channel, thought you'd have at least 500k+ with your quality level have another sub friendo

[@KillerBlaze]

Elijah throwing a hissy fit and shooting Franklin actually makes sense given his stats and ego

[@TheRodentMastermind]

Reminds me a bit of a player in our group that had a Navy Seal character in a Laundry game which took no points in Swimming. I'll have to write up his whole story at some point as I think he could compete with Craig. Awful player would turn up late to sessions and then try to retcon what had happened. In the end he was underwater being attacked by merfolk at the end of the session. He didn't turn up on time. We texted to ask what he would do. He replied pull out a grenade, we asked if he was sure.... OFC setting off a grenade 10m from you underwater isn't conducive to surviving. He then somehow tried to make it my problem. Now I was playing a French Resistant Sniper, but I was unconscious at the time, having been dragged back to our boat as I couldn't make the previous session. SO I have no clue how it could have been my fault.....

[@justapeckneck]

Teacher: *teaching Craig how the law works* Also teacher:why do I hear boss music? *health bar fills up*

[@NotaAura]

"Father, is it over?" "At long last. No king rules forever, my son."

[@Zenas521]

To bad the music didn't work at the end. But I agree, Craig is bad for gaming.

[@Feoral]

It was copywritten. Dang youtubes

[@leeoulic1887]

Craig's DMing is actually a really good lesson, despite needing some DM retreat and rehabilitation. He represents one of the absolute polar ends of DM sanity. Don't 'Craig-DM'.

[@spartanhawk7637]

Remember the words of the Imperium of Man when dealing with Craigs. My armor is contempt. My shield is disgust. My sword is hatred. In the emperor's name, let none survive.

[@gibdos_rupees1374]

The age of Craig is over, the day of the Crab is at hand... thanks for the vid man! Loved the slide-show at the beginning, probably going to use Shield of Apathy for a homebrew item at some point just so you know

[@junorequiem7199]

After hearing that the OP had decided to **invite** Craig into the game, I realized They deserve Craig, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me three times and I'm asking for it by this point

[@sarafontanini7051]

Fool me three or more times, you're officially that guy. You know the guy who goesa round going "oh this is giogio armani, my dad knows him" FUCK YOU! I AIIIIIiiIIINNNN'T HAVING THAT SHIT!

[@PyroSparton117]

Yay!! 100000 subs!! I fell asleep last night listening to a story and woke up and you had hit the milestone!! Congrats CritCrab!!

[@jeco2512]

Craig then went on to become an author who enjoys gaming on roll20.

[@anthonystike6034]

Terrifying though @Jeco

[@colossaltitan3546]

Before making players develop a fear of airships

[@iOneWithRossiya]

xD I loved the intro, thank you so much for being my favourite crab.

[@CritCrab]

:D

[@magicraftmods1945]

Me: Yay a new critcrab video! Also Me: Aw shit, here we go again!

[@selo.harper.24]

Almost 2 years later....and oh, the stories he's read since this. Poor, poor Crab.

[@polygon2745]

12:18 "To get dressed in his outdoor clothing" Wtf? What was this mans wearing that he couldn't walk outside in it?

[@Nildread]

I suspect it was either winter and they live somewhere that gets cold or it was raining. Suppose they coulda also mentioned shoes...

[@alphathehedgehogx96]

Logan Disappointment it was already mentioned to be winter, as everybody was preparing for exams and whatnot

[@ForeverDegenerate]

Craig probably had a coat, hat, gloves, stuff like that. You're not going to wear all that indoors.

[@NikoroKumitsero]

You know, despite the name of the channel I totally didn't expect the ending surprise and was so glad you included it.

[@AnimeVampire234]

this guy is a walking timebomb, i would of never played with the dude after the first game personally if it was me.

[@jerryottingeriii7531]

Omg I have never laughed that hard when I saw the crabs dancing in the end well played, well played 👍

[@johnnysizemore5797]

Notes from a NG Human Idiot ; There's an old saying that goes: "Whatever does nit Kill you, will make you Stronger instead." While the other players might have lost a Fair-weather friend in Craig, they gained not only a better understanding of their group dynamic(which was hampered terribly by Craig's problems) but also learned not to take the game so seriously. I hate to speak ill of anyone, but i dought Craig ever joined any group after this, so it's a good case of "Out of Sight- Out Of Mind" for all involved. May your Pantheon ever favor you, Baron Trevelyan of Restenford

[@leokaws4944]

I'm so glad the yt algorithm brought me to your page, I've been binging your vids they are great please keep it up and good luck

[@rockwoodzapper]

Damn... He really took a girl and said "Roll legs with disadvantage" huh?

[@Dasiuspsycho]

You got a subscribe out of me just for putting yourself through 3 of these. A saint, a true saint

[@CritCrab]

I've won a sub! 🎉 But at what cost? 😥

[@ARockyRock]

If you can't play a character that is not yourself, make your character like you.

[@ForeverDegenerate]

I think the implication, here, is that Craig did just that.

[@Gonepostal297]

I remember reading a comment a few days ago when you first did a close-to-microphone loud-audio meme, giving some constructive criticism, and you had saw it. I gotta say, I really saw improvement! When you did the 'shudders' joke here, it was way less loud, while still retaining the muffle that the joke needs. It was good.

[@dricsi07]

4:20 OoooooKkkkkk..... Now I'm actualy creaped out for real. What person want theire gf to be like that. (And this is nothing against people with gfs with disabality of course. I mean who would wish theire gf to be in that state.) At least I can look at myself positivly now for having the exact opposite to this as a fetish.

[@aralornwolf3140]

You want to be the person w/o legs?

[@dricsi07]

@@aralornwolf3140 No! XD What I ment was that my ideal girl someone wo is tough as nails! XD

[@Slate398]

@@aralornwolf3140 No I think they just want to be the sub.

[@aralornwolf3140]

@@Slate398 , There's a difference between being submissive and being completely dominated by another... It's something Craig has never figured out in his years playing with his "friends"...

[@zynstein8059]

you sure you don't want a girl who's just a pair of legs?

[@jumpinjellybeans1924]

The cops putting Elijah in the BACK SEAT was probably the best thing that could have happened.

[@aroguespartan7627]

And thus the trilogy is complete. Love the art in the beginning too lol

[@ForeverDegenerate]

Quadrilogy. There! Are! FOUR! Parts! (10 Points if you get that reference.)

[@Raptor-tooth]

You know, I think the first Craig video was how I first stumbled on this channel a while back. I just happened to get another video from this channel in my recommendations and went on a bit of a binge. How funny that the conclusion to the series of posts that I originally found this channel from was posted just in time for me to rediscover it one night and subscribe.

[@ALCook-gc2jt]

“Back then, she had legs.” A promising start to a love story.

[@Sentientmad9m]

Finally a channel that actually reads the damn content and puts some effort in rather than copy pasting into a text to speech program

[@murdomaclachlan]

*We are in the endgame now.*

[@RealRedRabbit]

You should be very much pleased that your vids are showing up in the suggestions following Runesmith's videos. That's impressive! Great stuff. I'm glad the Craig saga was what I first saw of your content! You get yet another sub in your growing ranks!

[@CritCrab]

THE CRAB ARMY GROWS 🦀

[@RealRedRabbit]

@@CritCrab BUT I'M A RABBIT NOT A CRAB

[@watcherofmemelords7967]

We must take the barrel, Deus crab! 🦀

[@Dragon_HarpyVT]

t found this channel yesterday and have been watching random videos. I find myself wanting more of these types of stories. New sub inbound

[@PowerSkiff12]

we should make a holy order dedicated to the crab

[@sevenofcrows7]

Roll a crab bard. An all crab campaign. My crab had lost one of its dactyls (part of the claw that moves) and can no longer play the violin. He has since learned the play the piano, but he is still a blue crab.

[@AbrokennoseOUCH]

Where the rest of my early squad at?

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

Here!!

[@krissybaglin9206]

Heyo!

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

@Heavy Metal Collector cra battle 🦀🐍

[@redacted9954]

YO

[@PRGME7]

Avery hallo I am earley

[@Dawnmon]

Thank you CritCrab, you really helped me out during a tough time. Keep going!

[@MissouriReaper]

Why dont you post link to original story?

[@stephaniejenkins7822]

I love the crab dance party at the end of this video. It's awesome and looks like so much fun.

[@sherlocksmuuug6692]

4:06 ...Come again? I mean, I shouldnt be surprised at this point but somehow I am.

[@zerastardust1712]

Of all the hills to die on, a fight over who gets to sit in the front seat? WTF!?

[@vlixle2781]

Even if it was in the past tense in this post, I don’t get how this guy could still refer to Craig as a friend at this point

[@starbird3939]

Vlixle I have heard of the “Geek Fallacy”... but this is ridiculous!

[@Logan_Baron]

"James Bond Badass character" I don't recall the scenes of James Bond stamping his feet whining "but I want to sit in the front".

[@sarafontanini7051]

that's because James Bond isn't a manchild XP

[@evanracer9]

WE WON FELLAS VIVA LA REVOLUTION 🦀🦀🦀

[@kilroy6429]

I know it may be a little late, but a community spotlight would be a really cool thing to see for your 25K subscriber special(congrats by the way)

[@DwarfDaddy]

I had to pause the video after I heard Craig’s character’s name so I could physically facepalm with both hands

[@nikolasota4162]

Heres two more hands *facepalm your face*

[@nathaneady173]

You know channels like Critcrab makes my day better. Keep up the good work boss man