8 Rules For Loving an INFJ | Season 27 | CS Joseph

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CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an INFJ.
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[@JungINFJ]

Rule #1 No limits 15:10 Rule #2 Provide acceptance 26:55 Rule #3 Deal with Ti Child 34:54 Rule #4 Loyalty 42:00 Rule #5 Share your hopes and despairs with them; speak of a future with them in it 50:00 Rule #6 Don't enable self-deprecation 51:18 Rule #7 Protect INFJ from bad influences 52:35 Rule # 8 Push them in the right direction / mutual personal growth 56:12

[@aishaadam7473]

I like infj but I can’t fulfill rule 1 &5 fully for them -Intp

[@zay2439]

...amazing... We love you too, Chase!

[@mrod8578]

@@aishaadam7473 yeah that's a tough one as an INTP myself. Apparently we can do it and have it in us though as CS Joseph talks about us specifically as NTPs taking back the mother of our children in the Bible. I think for any type there will be a couple of those points that are difficult to fulfill (some more than others).

[@annayudin290]

I've struggled so much with getting the INTP in my life to speak with me about how he feels and what he struggles with. He has given me some but not as much as I would like. But I think he does the other things well.

[@umummiii4759]

infj deals with difficulties with estj. very good person, but i just dont know what happened.

[@dookhynabeelah4897]

We hate flattery, we love Truth. Tell us the truth about ourselves and we'll be grateful to you 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@theyetti90]

Noted

[@Matchsticks96]

I hope this is true, I finally told an INFJ the truth after he’s abandoned me 3 times

[@martymakki4599]

Thank you so much for this series, Chase. Being an INFJ, it feels like you are the ultimate "challenger," and I have grown so much from your videos. I've been in a 5-month long relationship with a mature INTJ, and he does most of these extremely well. I'm the first person he found "worth" asking out, and when he first told me "I love you," he listed a bunch of ways in which he could see a future with me, that resulted in him feeling the need to say it. He always explains what he appreciates about me, and is more loyal than anyone I know (he's a devoted Christian, which, while I am not, I actually believe improves his humility). He went through with asking me out a week after I had hooked up with his ENTP friend because he believed I was a good person, which still makes me melt. He also has the "no limits" because of his shared Se inferior and is somehow extremely patient with hearing out my thoughts. While he's built some great habits from his parents and being an opera singer that have really improved my life, like drinking plenty of water and reading nonfiction before bed, I do see that last rule being the hardest for us in the future, since we enable each other's bad eating and sleep schedule habits. Luckily, seeing my friend go to the gym got me all fired up to start going on my own, and now he wants to join me. I think I'm realizing that for us to be the happiest in the future, I'll need to do what you suggested in your Social Engineering INFJ video, and find all the ways to improve my own life so that I may do that for others, especially him. I never want to have to rely on him to keep me healthy, when he has the same issues I do. Thank you again Chase. I appreciate the constant knowledge you provide.

[@lsmith6008]

I'm an infp woman married to an infj guy for 20 years and we still do it almost everyday. It's one of the best parts of our relationship. He never fails to make me feel wanted☺

[@lastraven7205]

still do what

[@JayLee-bv3vw]

​@@lastraven7205 The sexxxxxxxxx

[@GenRN]

@@lastraven7205have sex.

[@tiffunnystraykidsnoona7694]

Obviously sleeping together mate 😂 ​@lastraven7205

[@alexistence3517]

Watching Chase rock back and forth and smoking while saying he had caffeine at 1.75x speed is pretty funny.

[@billySquanto]

Yeah, then he says the cigar (nicotine) will help calm him down, then he starts yelling at the end of the video. Too funny.

[@anas8682]

Sorry, I was watching at 1.25x

[@Lev-The-King]

At 3x I was getting dizzy

[@alexistence3517]

@@Lev-The-King Yeah that sounds like a bit too much. 😂

[@ShadowQuik]

I used to be triple progression. After switching to 1.75x I’m permanently stuck in quadruple progression

[@kerrirae]

You forgot rule #1. Don't lie to them. Ever. Can handle a lot of "ugly" truths but even the prettiest of lies is enough to lose our trust for good. Informative video for the most part. I would remember though that sexual partners is but one manifestation of inferior Se. Overindulging with food, driving really fast, drinking & drugs, & partying are some more examples but I definitely agree staying free of negative influencers is the best advice for maturing INFJ's

[@Nerdy-By-Nature]

Truth 🙌

[@jamalcole1985]

Good point .. I'm INTJ interested in INFJ

[@emmarae4322]

So true.

[@justinjbolyard]

I take my INFJ to the mall, she really does want everything lol

[@ankitapal5720]

Had missed this before. CS Joseph, this is one of the best videos I've come across on your channel. It's been two years, and I still think to myself- how can a single man speak so much truth? I'm happy your son is an INFJ, and you started this all for him.

[@marianbergroth8228]

My personality have never felt this understood by another type. This is wisdom. Thanks.

[@stacy559]

Profound. You have helped me understand myself more than anyone. Love you and your work.

[@katieblake3023]

"INFJ women have the highest number of sexual partners" Meanwhile here I am, INFJ female who was still virgin until 26 lol (who had a lot of men interested for some reason prob. superficial, so rule out desirability factor) and only ever been with 2 persons in that way (and not from lack of options)

[@LittleMew133]

I think he meant to say his INFJ ex 😂

[@qasimimtiaz9668]

You sound like Infp to me. INFPs are very picky.

[@aladdout9454]

​​@@qasimimtiaz9668 theres a lot of infjs with less or no body count dude. Stop taking everything someone says with no proof as the "truth". Do you realise how insulting and unfair that is to infjs who have integrity? He has mentioned several times anyway that NJ women are picky and prone to rejecting people.

[@qasimimtiaz9668]

@@aladdout9454 pessimistic Ni/Si are most picky

[@aladdout9454]

@@qasimimtiaz9668 first, not true. Second, so? Infps are optimistic Si. Third, that doesn't explain why infjs have to have a high body count when many actually don't. Do you forget that cultures and infj lifegoals of integrity exist? Maybe get your head out of your ass and get to know people before believing someone blindly like a cult. You can be supportive and still disagree on some things.

[@TheNiqabiDiaries]

When an INFJ matures and realises that lust and love are not equal and that a person cannot win the love of another by performing the best sexually then they can really start to look into themselves and what they actually want in life. They will realise that falling truly in love is not something which is temporary so it cant happen quickly unless they truly connect on a spiritual and subconscious level with another person. Their soul mate. And there can be many soul mates but not all will be sexual relationships. Its important for the INFJ to be selective in who they choose as a partner because if they choose wrong they end up damaging themselves further by suffering harm from the other person or being unloyal and then feeling even worse for harming someone elses feelings. Continuously hurting others only takes one on a downward spiral which causes them to feel constant self pity and 'Im a bad person, Im so messed up' when it really doesnt have to be like that at all. Just takes being mentally mature and learning quickly from ones mistakes making sure not to repeat them again which should be easy enough to do because we recognise patterns in behaviour which help to predict outcomes. Because we mirror behaviour its so important to find someone who meets our needs mentally and emotionally to avoid feeling trapped or stagnated in a relationship.

[@jadint1793]

💯

[@pinklasagna8328]

A musician named marina is an INFJ and her album electra heart represents INFJs so so much. One of my favorite lines are "i'm done with trying to have it all, and ending up with not much at all" - Ni hero "But baby i'm the one who left you you're not the one who left me" si demon (i guess se inferior would make more sense. I hate my ti demon) "Not everyone is out to screw you over, maybe yeah just maybe they just wanna get to know you" - Ne nemesis "Yeah i know i got a big ego, i really dont know why its such a big deal tho" - Ti child "Pick a personality for free when you feel like nobody, born witha void hard to destroy with love or hope" - Fi critic "Yeah you could say that my life is a mess, but i'm still looking pretty in this dress" - Se inferior

[@alinaulmaskulova2372]

“'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best”

[@pinklasagna8328]

@@alinaulmaskulova2372 cant forget tfj. I didnt include tfj cause i dont think its very infj. Maybe it is but i have not analyzed it. But her father abandoning her and her Se inferior's to that can be seen in tfj.

[@alinaulmaskulova2372]

@@pinklasagna8328 Maybe! I’m actually not too familiar with her personal life, but I think her infj-ness comes through in most of her music, because I guess it has to, since that’s her primary type. I do have to say that Electra Heart had that intensely estp subconscious/aspirational vibe to me (aside from the infj ego, of course). Her early albums were actually the thing that helped me to truly understand the “essence”of estp subconscious. I definitely think she was very subconscious-focused in the earlier albums, and I LOVE it:) I was so happy to see your comment because I also love to spot those moments where her type really comes through in the music!

[@pinklasagna8328]

@@alinaulmaskulova2372 yes. Type always somehow spills to your work. Analyizing EH made me realize how authentic she is with that album. Its great

[@JungINFJ]

I like Marina too. Her song "Oh No!" is how I discovered her. I thought about this post as I listened to her albums. Songs on this topic in particular (aside from any other INFJ thing), from each of her albums would be: 1. The Outsider 2. Bubblegum Bitch 3. Primadonna Girl 4. Homewrecker 5. Sex Yeah 6. Teen Idle 7. How to be a heartbreaker 8. Froot 9. I'm a Ruin, 10. Blue 11. Better than that 12. Believe in love 13. Too Afraid 14. Goodbye

[@karllejon9509]

The way you just hang up these stories and experiences is so entertaining, rly like listening to these authentic analyses

[@Is_it_Raiden]

Sir, if the goal of this episode was to make infjs fall in love with you, then you’ve absolutely succeeded. Can’t think of any other person on internet that I love and trust more than you 💛 Thank you for all that you do, and for all the care and love that you have for each of the types. The way you see and call out all the dark and the light in people, while helping humans better understand and support each other, is moving the world to such a cool place. The modern society is so lucky to have you. Guess being a true gem of this world must be an entp thing

[@an_anishinaabe_son]

@Raiden, Well said! I love Chase too!

[@shyGigi]

I Concur. You did it right the first time. Well done.

[@Abulina09]

100% Agree

[@amandabeck1498]

INFJ female here. Great video! I loved it! I sent it to my INTP husband (who hates this personality stuff 😅) Bc it’s dead on! Everything you said is just about everything I’ve tried to tell or express to my husband in our 16 years of marriage that quite frankly he has only just started understanding in the last two years 😩. He has finally started striving for excellence which makes me proud 💙. He is acutely aware of rule#7 and he is a knight in this area! He tries so hard to protect me and tell when I’m being taken advantage of or when I should cut someone out of my life Bc they are a bad person! Love this about him 💙. Anyway I love listening to you, more so than any other KZbinr who dissects/describes personality types. Your videos do frustrate me at times but it’s always truth I hear from you. I always learn something and you have given insight and understanding to myself and other types which I apply in my everyday life. I’m a better leader because of your shows/podcasts too by understanding my teams types. It helps me put them in positions for them to have the greatest possibility to succeed! Thank you. I’m just a huge fan🤗. My son is an ENTP! Love ENTPs.

[@gabriella.k8307]

I just love everything you said ... I'm an infj (22y/o) and I'm always worried about marriage I don't feel like It's the right thing for me or if I could handle it ... So seeing you married for that long and seeing this beautiful family is a really wonderful thing to see❤️❤️ so thank you ❤️🙏🙏

[@muhammadamininfj5999]

Intps I know do not take MBTI seriously too.

[@amandabeck1498]

@@gabriella.k8307 Thank you for your kind words and I’m glad you find my story inspiring. 💙

[@knifeyonline]

@@amandabeck1498 did you get him to watch the who is the intp video?

[@mrod8578]

INTPs are kind of either or. Many don't believe in personality typing because they don't like to be pigeon holed. However others INTPs like it because it's a system they can follow to improve their understanding of others. INTPs are kind of in the middle. There are other types who could care even less about personality profiling than INTPs lol!

[@angelinafun8336]

Not every infj is like that. I am one and I am saving myself for marriage but yes if I am not religious, I probably wouldn't.

[@SNAPLINKSLLC]

@@GrimPassenger people are more complex than these silly labels tho. There's gotta be more complex than that

[@jolinarn]

I am an INFJ I also didn't sleep around. I got married at 19 to an ESTJ and been married 11 years. Happily i might add 😊

[@GrafinVonHopper]

@@GrimPassenger Não mesmo. Sou mulher INFJ e também sou cristã, mas mesmo que não o fosse, não sairia por aí me esfregando com qualquer cara, não. Antes de querer me entregar sexualmente para alguém, desejo estabelecer uma conexão profunda. Caso contrário, não tenho vergonha alguma de dizer que poderia sim levar uma vida sem sexo, embora eu tenha bastante libido. Não faz parte de mim, relacionamentos passageiros e me entregar para alguém do qual eu nunca mais veria novamente, criaria um apego capaz de me machucar muito mais do que se eu não tivesse me entregado.

[@annayudin290]

Also did not sleep around but I think that's because I was always more in love with who I dated, so the relationships didn't last. But I had my first time with my husband and we've been together for 8 years :) high school sweethearts

[@muhammadamininfj5999]

"No limits"and "want it all" is spot on!

[@imperfectlyperfect2.014]

Why is this insanely accurate lol Thank you! For putting in the effort to make this. Really does help see yourself from another person perspective.

[@lucymaltez5336]

Sounds like you are describing how to mostly love inmature and unhealthy INFJs, possibly INFJs with traumatic experiences. I do think a few of your tips are applicable to healthy/ mature INFJs as well but we have a more developed Ti, learnt self-love and esteem, and the most important: boundaries. But you are absolutely right about being loyal. We expect you to Always be there! We need a rock in our lives! I loved a man very much once, he was disloyal and that was the end; I walked away. Betrayal is the worst you can do to us, probably even more than rejection.

[@dovio832]

There is no such thing as unhealthy/healthy just people's who when they need/want something they expressed it in destructive ways or constructive way. All INFJs have the exact same potential of evils.

[@shan_hart]

Wow, I love the passion you speak with. Thanks for caring about INFJ’s.

[@trendsetter8138]

You misjudge us here slightly. INFJs are constantly on the look for the genuine authentic person with whom we can have emotional mental and physical chemistry all or nothing approach who can go to the depth with us to understand life harsh truth and its beauty as well. Sexual chemistry is necessary but we are Sapiosexual and have eyes for only for the one who meets us on all those 3 level as our ultimate life partner but the problem is people only see us with sexual lenses that sadden us even more and we play that role when we see them so broken that it breaks our heart too and also because they fail to understand us beneath the surface not having time to understand such complex creatures plus sometimes we are so sacrificial we sacrifice ourselves for our partners sake. We give too much until we deplete and mostly got taken advantage of in a relationship. Its when people abuse our good nature that we create a box sit inside make ourselves lonely not to get hurt again and again as we love so hard and endure so much once broken it takes us years to heal sometimes a lifetime. Don't come near us if you don't genuinely love us, love us not lust us.

[@fificore]

*For me, an Fi Hero, I measure my success on how much of a choice I have to keep my legs closed. It is a blessing, a privilege and an honor I hope I'll have until the day I depart from this hellscape.*

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

"For me, an Fi Hero, I measure my success on how much of a choice I have to keep my legs closed." Same, and same for all INFj's that I know :)

[@aladdout9454]

this is a uniquely stupid sentence

[@parsamajnouni4386]

Thank you Chase. You nailed it man. One can see that INFJs are very important to you and that you mean well.

[@nontologicalbeing]

The part about playing God really resonated for me. As INFJ, I think a good rule, at least for me, when dealing with self-esteem and worth would be "Do unto yourself as you would do unto others." Often I place the people around me on pedestals, being deferential to their opinions and moods. But I am also a person who deserves to be listened to and considered. It is, quite honestly, hypocrisy and "playing God" for me to declare everyone else as having at least some kind of value and myself alone as possessing none. Thanks, C.S. I've been watching a lot of your work recently, and it has been immensely helpful in better understanding myself. I thought the pop version of MBTI was dumb and shallow, but you've shown me not only my true type but just how much that can tell me about myself.

[@shimmymompremier2918]

Thank you so much. I love my INFJ husband. I am an ENFP. I love my INFJ. This really hit me ♥️

[@pmlover1810]

Excellently presented. The infj will be impressed you took this much interest to understand them at this visceral level

[@JayLee-bv3vw]

I'm an INTP with an INFJ. She told me to watch this video. Glad I did.

[@randomcole619]

I’m an INFP, my husband is an INFJ, he does NOT like to be challenged, it’s like I’m insulting him as opposed to trying to have a discussion…

[@seankody4804]

Chase, i have misjudged you. And i am truely sorry for that. Listening to you and feeling your authenticity has shown me who you truely are. The sharing of your knowledge and experience has given me a much better understanding about myself. For this, i thank you.

[@stevemiller8895]

Hosea was in the place of God and Gomer represented Israel as a people and they were playing the harlot chasing after other gods and God was demonstrating his grace and mercy and forgiveness, for his beloved.

[@nicholasmendez9108]

Is CS Joey trying to seduce all the infjs with his cigar, swing, and hoodie?

[@CSJoseph]

Damn straight

[@andread8]

I love the way you present this in a true INFJ attitude and fashion!😂

[@tinacherry2295]

As an INFJ, i dont find i have the Ho complex. I might of had the need for sex when i was ypunger because i had trauma. But as i got older sex and depth became one. And then theres my moral compass of someone not deserving of my sex. Ill wait to have genuine intimacy over random sex. I do like unlimitless but thats across the board of life not just sexual. Another way to put "setting up for failure" is to be appeased. One of my biggest pet peeves "to be appeased" ugh 😑

[@SirYITCHIN]

This video crystalizes my ENFPs vice of depravity. I lost my oldest brother to an OD 7 years ago before losing my younger sister to one 5 years later. All they wanted was to spend time with me, they had alot to deal with (plenty each), when I'd just always choose hanging with friends, smoking weed, video games and whatnot... I knew it too. I felt it when i would drive over to my friends after my sister (who didn't really have peoples to chill with) would ask to chill. Started ignoring my brother 3 weeks before he passed (we were very close {sister too..}), too lazy and then too embarrassed to work on clearing the air with him, all about nothing he even specifically did, just some interpersonal relationship stuff that i decided i had to discuss with him; just didn't know how, and didn't bother working too hard on it. I "focused" on the small pictures while "pretending" to be oblivious to the bigger one.. I chose depravity before loyalty. To some I may sound like the shittiest sibling, and I've definitely felt like that before. To others it may sound like I'm living with guilt; and while that may be partially true, i try to direct and transform said energy into something positive. I'll use it to feel gratitude when i feel depraved, use it to strengthen relationships with myself and others; people i care about, friends and family, and even people i wouldn't necessarily know. I hope this can go to show what an ENFPs depravity mode can be like, and also what an INFJs need for loyalty is. Or helpful to anyone in any way. Keep on spreading the good vibes and the love yall✌🏼❤️

[@lizsanchirico1893]

After viewing this to it's completion I can say with the utmost confidence that it's the best of your videos I've seen. Spot on. INFJs do want it all, so badly that we feel it in our molecules. And yes, abandonment is our most crippling fear. As far as your ex Ande (apologies if I'm misspelling) goes, if memory serves she's an INTJ. In addition to Ni hero not being able to let go, INxJ women typically are intelligent and creative, go out of their way to be 9s and 10s physically, are fascinating and deep as the Mariana Trench, and their prowess in the bedroom is unmatched. But they worry that as men get older (specifically ENxP men) they'll become less idealistic and more realistic, sacrificing excellence for someone who simply treats them better and is more "domestic". I've seen this happen with men that I've loved, and truly I have no one to blame but myself. If I didn't display so much typical INFJ paranoia involving fidelity who knows what could've been.

[@junhui7796]

Wanting everything now is so true. The day I learnt that I can have anything but not everything was a really sad day. Therefore having someone to be able to do everything together with is so important. Thank you for the lecture ~

[@truedreams1]

Pessimistic Fe love is slow to grow but also almost never dies after being established.

[@nicolasdanek4225]

This was an awesome video. I feel so understood as an INFJ. You're a truly great guy Chase.

[@yama_to_yonde]

Loves INFJs, so he makes this dizzy video setup with horrible background noise. Thank you for the content though. Gonna go sleep alone now.

[@sandybelle1009]

I really appreciate Mr. CS Joseph .He taught me a lot about myself and how to understand and value people. ❣️

[@jadint1793]

If I ever get in a relationship, I will send this video to them. There is no way I could literally put into words in how to handle an INFJ like you can. You broke it down into bit size pieces. 🎯

[@augusth7796]

Brother you had me streaming some tears on the loyalty rule. You couldn’t have been more spot on. I can feel your pain that my INFJ sisters caused you. I can feel that pain bro. Sorry.

[@Memeparable]

Chase, I as an INFJ really love entps. They are one of the only types that can hand my Ti child debate style. It's lovely

[@karinagbarros6301]

Infj here … DUDE you made me cry 😭❤️

[@MissingGingerSnap]

I love the angsty all black shady looking Chase in this. The rocking back and forth in the swing is the bow on top. Anyways, thanks for this lecture. I'm looking forward to hearing all of them.

[@jenstone4708]

The passion he gives is amazing

🔥Thank you so much my loyal ENTP. 🔥May the light of all INFJs always shine around you for your wisdom and love.

[@ocho8172]

Good stuff. Lust?- Guilty. Listening to me?- If no, than I start to view that person as not actively engaged, or even disengaged. Challenged- Yes. Of no, I start to suspect that person is hampering me- Simply using what I offer for their own benefit, and withholding their contribution in order to set me back.

[@lizsanchirico1893]

1 minute into the lecture and I can't believe my ears--you don't think INFJs like you? Speaking as an INFJ woman ENFPs and ENTPs have always been my favorite; we embrace the strangeness and intellectual freedom that typically embody these types.

[@adelkhisamova7582]

I'm always shocked with these videos. It's fascinating that someone can actually understand me.

[@ammar9279]

Wow I never thought that INFJs had to handle this kind of hardship (probably because of my Se trickster). Thanks chase you differentiate between INTJ/INFJ that helps a lot.

[@catherinefield]

WoW! I'm beyond impressed. You definitely prepared well this one❤! You absolutely have a special place in my heart as well. I was surprised to learn about "high body count", I've been faithful my whole life and always tried to avoid people who could corrupt me but I certainly get the temptation factor - it's there, I'm just aware of it and able to control it, apparently. Everything else you said applies completely! That part really kills me, it's just the whole life dream 43:31 (and, true - that is the greatest pain!). Now after divorcing my ISTJ, surely will show your video to my new chosen one if I find him. I envy your INFJ friends that they belong in your circle, I hope they appreciate you and never leave! I'm also very thankful that you exist, gives me hope too. Literally! 💯 P.S. If there is something on ENTP-INFJ relationship, I hope to find it on your channel. I've recently started to get to know this type and seems like it's the only one that could actually be a good fit, provided emotional maturity, of course!

[@CSJoseph]

It’s on csjoseph.life/members

[@12chassity]

INFJ here. I will admit that I want it ALL!!!

[@justinjbolyard]

I appreciate this episode chase, great work.

[@MegaCynthia7]

As an INFJ woman...This is GREAT! I LOVE THIS! What we could never share with a man.

[@justinjbolyard]

Been waiting for this!

[@melikanasser5977]

This lecture hits so deep man😌

[@rjh7700]

16:00 we may not do anything with the power of being unlimited, but we do not like limits, it creates sad things in our brains almost instantly

[@sirphil13]

I love your work, I love the ENTPs...but, I think she knows that you are talking about her. I also dig the children playing and having fun in the background...their laughter is pure joy. ~INFJ-A

[@jhummelgaard9310]

INFJ-T - I was anxious throughout the video, because of the background action. I even thought I heard some people getting into a fight!

[@RachelledelaRosa]

Hi Chase, thanks so much for putting so much time into this. It’s very evident. In my opinion ENTPs are the perfect candidate for displaying ideal masculine and alpha traits because of ISFJ subconscious and INTJ shadow. Then on top of that, 3x systematic competence allows them to be successful in anything that interests them so they can move about the world as they want. I agree about the connection with envy and attractiveness as well, it would make sense then why so many ENTPs become the most popular entertainers (especially the men). I also don’t mind the anecdotals featuring INFJs negative traits. I’ve always said negative feedback pushes me to be better. I don’t want to be stagnant otherwise, I’m preference for being challenged. Your content and talks have really pushed me to be better. I know I’m not consistent but my appreciation is. I can’t watch a lecture without mentioning that. Working towards some solid outcomes from the growth I’ve achieved since I’ve learned what I have 🙏🏽

[@Cinderella-mc8kf]

I seriously hate how complicated we are, it's exhausting.

[@gabri_cheesellamasneeze9006]

It just hit me that the 8 rules of loving each type are based on the 4 conscious and 4 unconscious functions 🤦

[@carolblomarv]

You're truly amazing !! 😍 I always find myself motivated and emotional at the same time after watching your videos.

[@billySquanto]

Great video, watching this with my INFJ wife (she hates you but agrees to what you have to say). This stuff is really applicable in our relationship, and helps with our general life gameplans. I'm an intp. I got a good deal on her from her pimp..lol

[@aladdout9454]

bruh💀🤣🤣🤣

[@BigPapa64469]

infjs tend to hate estjs, so yeah it explains a lot

[@aladdout9454]

@@BigPapa64469 what explains a lot?

[@saraalmajed8877]

What’s ur mbti type I’m curious about it

[@billySquanto]

@@saraalmajed8877 me?

[@laurag7530]

Shit. Never watched you before. I'm an infj woman, 11 mins in and now I'm in love with you.

[@LisaMarie-br8tn]

The Meyers test told me I was INFJ. Chase's test told me I was INTJ. While I could agree with 2 or 3 points in this video I definitely felt like I was finally understood in the INTJ video. I couldn't even get mad at the negative aspects lol. I don't show up.

[@superxomar4489]

FINALLY BEEN WAITING Even though i am enfp and my compatibility rate is like gold but why not watch another 8 rules for love for them

[@mahakhan1887]

A bit uncomfortable for sharing it with my husband lol

[@boshtovar]

14:20 Same, that's what has always been hypocritical about me. I always expect INFJs to be completely honest with me, but when they do, it sometimes hurts my feelings, lol. But I love it in the long run. Short term, it hurts.

[@boshtovar]

Last comment lol. 31:40 easier said than done... it's like just take it!!!

[@tendopain3633]

FINALLY!!! totally watching this at lunch today!!!

[@pinkrose4824]

As an INFJ woman, I find you EXTRAORDINARILY off-putting for an absolutely unknown reason, but the content is pretty good. Appreciate the investment.

[@machinekurbli2650]

that was badass af

[@filipgamer1390]

Thanks for bringing out my NF, missed it

[@BigDGolf-23]

NiTI (child) Seems to create reason where non exists. As an INTJ, I can get exceptionally annoyed when some ones input has no application in the real world.

[@Typhoon792]

This is why I've always had a hard time "letting go" as an INFJ. I tried to hold on to everything and live as my ideals but that's literally impossible alone. Nonetheless, with the connections I managed to make, I had just enough to progress and actually grew to reach the peak of my potential only to be destroyed by an ENFP (who I also held onto despite her toxicity, having chosen to give it my all as to try and remedy while trying, impossibly, to stick to my integrity - of course impossible to maintain with a lover who's constantly looking to break and corrupt) because in the process, it would've similarly forced me to let go of myself (as the example of the INFJ girl in the video). I held on to the very last moment until everything was over and I literally exhausted every resource (including myself) to death. I held on despite the pain until literally the point that my nervous system just snapped (due to how things ended and further extenuating circumstances before and after). I lost everything, including my Self, all of my connections, everything meaningful in my life, and otherwise just every way which I grew/developed since 11 years old. I saw through everything and balanced all my strengths and weaknesses, but didn't know what to do in a lose-lose situation besides stay committed, point it out, and seek for the other person to own and resolve it (where the problem lies). Of course no such thing happened, and instead I was constantly exploited in all shared vulnerabilities for the sake of abandoning the situation in the most cowardly way (attack, cut, and run). Literally everything was wrong from all sides at once and I had no idea how to handle that as a single person without holding room for projections and temporarily sacrificing myself for the sake of realization of how that's wrong from the other end. No responsibility was taken and only how I did wrong by myself was pointed out (meaning, what I should've been is selfish so two wrongs would make a right). No guilt or remorse - kindness being confused with weakness. Everything was so perverse and backwards that even having overcome my shortcomings in my personal life (personality wise anyway), all that managed to be undone by a fucking emulate ENFP which is probably the most selfish and unconscious thing on the planet (which no amount of love or acceptance could've changed). Being blind (and acting selfishly) is what would apparently have been true acceptance, which means she would have experienced no change or growth like in every other relationship in her past, leaving an indefinite cycle of this crap. Given that I saw the problem and literally all expectations and everything entailed by this being talked ahead of time, I made my commitments and formed an attachment. I fought the trauma bond but every kind of abuse and behavior at that point made it stronger. I was also an a somewhat crisis situation, despite my withstanding of it. It was the perfect storm which completely took me out with no way out, even with full awareness, insight, and understanding. Nothing (in retrospect) was really missed, besides how truly impossible it was. I just never imagined there was a person so needlessly defiant to their own detriment (of equal and opposite force to my willingness to sacrifice to the benefit of both). She did the absolute worst by me as an INFJ (with her INFJ shadow) and used the double-edged demon sword of falsehood, which also works way better in public, especially if you have greater status/power/reputation and/or flying monkeys. Running/fleeing from the relationship also felt wrong. Plus, I loved her for who she was at the core - everything unrealized - not the things she wasn't which I called out but forgave her for. I literally couldn't have acted in any other way, did by absolute best as an INFJ, and couldn't believe how after a life of rejection and not being listened to (of which I came out resiliently fine) and working on myself (building strengths and weaknesses), not giving into my deadly sin, and sticking to my virtues over vice (with infinite patience), things STILL didn't work out and had everything destroyed in the end. I had little fun (that wasn't wholesome), didn't have sex or drugs or any of that, and I got nothing in return and due to the serious trauma couldn't even experience hedonistic pleasure even if I wanted to. I don't have the strength or resources to rebuild, nevermind that this idea of healing myself and/or just through socializing with people is BS. I've never had any of my needs met despite not desperately seeking them and taking all the necessary risks for growth - otherwise taking on my higher purpose in taking on the ills of the world. Now it's all fucking over just as I began to experience life with true meaning and purpose - eternally damned for wanting to have a life with somebody cognitively compatible who supposedly saw my value (while stripping me of my worth and depreciating me). I acted on my masculine ideals and with my own worth, tried to prove hers. But every time she'd fail herself, she'd cuck me for it, forcing me to be critical once she'd sabotage herself and the relationship at every chance and repeat the cycle (which nobody would fucking do what I did, which apparently, nothing noble about putting yourself on the line like that), resenting me for the opportunity (after taking it, believing in my trust in her) after her own betrayal each time. I would come in strong without any lie, but she'd consistently disprove her worth and cripple me, taking what I'm worth in the process, because worth is honestly a real thing (not just an arbitrary feeling/belief) which is based on an accurate (or inaccurate) appraisal of how much of themselves a person has and otherwise amassed over the course of their life. I gave her the opportunity to integrate but all she did was split (NPD)... She couldn't meet her own needs (which previously she would meet through others) and met none of mine. I didn't have a problem with the latter, simply having tried to get her to recognize the former - face her trauma and work it out through me. Now, given the conclusion, I'm left needing a great deal from another to meet my core needs and compensate for me while I try to relive all the trauma through a loving relationship, unable to meet any of her needs (would have to meet them outside of me until successfully recovered/rehabilitated)... That's all I expected from the ENFP I sacrificed for, but she was insistently just myopic and dragged me down at every juncture rather than facing the truth of herself. All I needed was nothing from her. I'm willing to go through the pain of facing what I'm left with but it's a broken loop and simply masochistic trying on my own (feeds back negatively regardless of what part/place/angle I start from). The problem is, I'm not in a position to attract or place to keep anyone (nor have the narcissistic traits/manipulative capability to lure anybody in, nor would I want to act with this corruptive), and am otherwise stuck given how thoroughly destroyed I was. All I have left to offer is intellect and abstract thought/conceptualizations (with maybe some potential of a future, if this is possible to reverse and with the utmost level of sacrificial love and commitment, with lots of time for me to learn to love myself again and slowly restore all the balance). Everything went from complete order to total chaos/disarray in all areas of life, and I am completely burnt out for anything sustainable on my own (which wouldn't otherwise collapse). Also have all sorts of impairments as a result of this trauma. Is there anyone that would ever sacrifice for an INFJ when they're completely spent, broken, and compromised (financially, physically, sexually, and spiritually)? Nevermind my critical insight/awareness and subjective feeling: I objectively have nothing now to offer, but without someone's intimate help, the best I can do is literally not move and stay at neutral and not act in on myself and further self-destruct... This is not self-deprecating... Well, technically it is, but all I would do in spite of my constant devaluation and superegoic criticism by others for my lack of credentialism and other social norms I didn't meet and follow is call out how and specifically what wasn't appreciated. That being said, I let her deprecate and demean and devalue me, even though I fought it, and now she proved everybody right with how she left me and the place, position, and condition that she left me in. All I have left is honesty, and when the Self completely imploded, I disintegrated and derealized, due to all the causes outside of myself, this has an effect which I cannot personally undo, and the only honest self-reflection to with respect to another would be self-deprecatory in nature. Basically, it's through another's authentic love that an INFJ can prove to themselves (with time, commitment, and patience) that they are capable of anything they thought they were or once were. Words and cheerleading and "you got this" won't help... PS- Interesting: Rule #7 was the exact opposite. This seems to be word for word how it was with her, but then of course it was only perceived as controlling, when I tried to manage corruptive influences, where being up front about it was "hurtful"... It's insane. Literally all the good things and the bad things were backwards. She had both my and her weaknesses, and she projected her weaknesses onto my strengths. Her strengths seemed to be self-serving and manipulative (passed through one-way channels) - misappropriating her strengths while blending in with the sheep and pretending to be against the wolves (even deceiving herself about this fact).

[@sarika_art_purchase2845]

That was an agonizing read. See : Borderline and narcissists/ empaths and narcissists/ codependents and narcissists/INFJ with narcissists. There is a certain type of people that certain type of people are predisposed to attract. Yin to the Yang. You are pissed off with yourself because you had your shit together in a neat, sensical pile and maybe against your better "judgement", you went in for that experience. But thats it, is it not? It was an experience. You feel all these things as an aftermath of that experience and if you test for validity, it is how you feel, not the way it is! Also note that you are now self doubting and recaching outward for some "expert" to tell you what to do, how to fix you? You already did it before, you know how the pieces of you go back? Never the same! And why should they go back the same? What's great about that? This experience you had was as you describe , horrid. Did you not learn something, many things from it? Did it not put more tools in your toolbox, update your system and make give you the opportunity to see things about you, her, such a dynamic. Can you allow yourself to see the bank of lessons sitting there for you to take? Yes you are spent! Wasted! Etc. All these realizations you have , you may argue you would have been better off without them but you would not have had them if it were not for you both playing your parts in having a relationship. There is a possibility in which you decide that you want to decide. Or you may lack self trust because you wonder how good your judgement is if it landed you the experience you complain about. Change the perspective, if it were a game and that experience gave you a "booster", take a moment to unpack what that would mean. It could look something like, you have new found ability to decipher types, or people with certain traits, characteristics etc. that may not be so great for you. That, offers insight, foresight, ability to decide better for you, protect you better (now that you have discovered the value of self protection). You found thought this relationship the value of even being selfish! Look for more of those, your wisdom update will come flooding. From understanding how much you actually know, have learned ang have grown, you may realize that only you should know the way forward. Do not seek external regulation, validity, etc. Own your shit! that happened, yes it did and if you widen your perspective you see that it took from you and gave to you , if you chose to see it. You had that experience, not me, Joseph or anyone else, You! You know where to from here and if you do not, congratulations, neither do we... Life is about making decisions, there are no good ones, bad ones just choices, decisions and consequences (not necessarily a bad thing as it affords insights you did not have before). I am hearing you hit hard on the themes of self betrayal. Ask yourself why you allowed it, ask yourself questions and expect answers, was it a natural response, what did you perceive you would gain, why do you self betray, what's your payoff , because the answers comes flooding. Are you prepared to ask them and hear the response? You ask yourself a lot of questions but they are not necessarily productive questioning. You are smart, you don't got his, but you could, if you wanted to. Fall apart, pick yourself up, punish yourself, mistrust everyone, tell yourself that you do not have energy, ultimately... if you own that you are the creator of your journey, the architect of your life, you would probably figure out, you could design things in a direction that you could like, love or hate. Ask someone else to design your bedroom for you? = self betrayal again. I hope that you see it. You could chose your perspective if you allow yourself to, why are you holding on to the one you currently have? If you state that you are stuck, would you require yourself to move? I am guessing not!

[@Typhoon792]

@@sarika_art_purchase2845 Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. Unfortunately, there are no head games that can fix this. If I were to go in depth, what was lost (and the effects, including serious neurological damage) go way beyond just the relationship. I understand where you're coming from and what you're suggesting. It's really not a matter of perspective however or how I feel (though how I feel many times certainly reflects what is). It's not purely emotional and reflective of whatever had experience. I am aware of Cluster B and that she was NPD. My best friend who set this off (this snowball effect) was BPD. Unfortunately, on the deepest level, I learned nothing from this, and after all the damage was done, I actually lost most of my tools. I applied them full force and actually tried to equip her with them to no avail (I can see why now). I've gathered some additional a posteriori data and learned that some people truly are irredeemable. I've learned that one can get fucked up beyond repair. I've learned that everything I lived my whole life and what I stood for regarding personal responsibility is all bullshit. Everything you're saying is what I figured there'd at least be a way, but no, the destruction is total and there's no way back from this (alone). I don't need anybody else to set/fix things for me, but I do know that the only chance I have is to do this vicariously through somebody else. Call it co-dependent - call it what you want: it would be a process, but no, there's no way forward besides in imagination. Even if I could get myself operational, performing tasks and doing actions in the world would only create an illusion of progress to the satisfaction of others but would do absolutely nothing as far as I would truly be concerned... As pathetic as it sounds, with what I've been reduced to (I can go into further details, but I don't think it matters), just in how many ways I have been broken (and how deeply), "independently it's over". All I've ever done is what you are describing, and I haven't simply given up: in testing for validity as you say, it's actually valid... I've ever developed (prior to all this happening) outside tests to confirm these things and they absolutely do, unfortunately... I've actually had to accept the reality of this fact; it's not like this is how I wanted it. You are right about learning the value of self-protection, but I was aware of my need for it couldn't do it for myself besides through avoidance. I was also critically aware of nothing being possible it staying closed so the best chance was to stay open. In any case, I am less capable of this now than ever before. Everything has been reduced to knowledge which does absolutely nothing. We are and we are not the architects of our lives or creators of our journey because at the end of the day we're not all powerful. Even with the insights and the foresights and everything, there was no stopping this - no way of having changed the fatalistic outcomes. The only lessons I learned are at best further disempowering, and even regarding them, there's no way back onto the horse. What there would be to own is within an interpersonal context in order to potentially reintegrate it. Personally, there's no blame. And I asked myself the hard questions realtime, presently, and in retrospect. I betrayed myself not to hate, act against another, or lose faith in humanity. Every decision was a lose-lose, so I sacrificed myself for the greater potential (but not stupidly/blindly) - fully revealing and trying to uncover that which wasn't seen, proceeding only at the points that things at least were recognized. This may be some INFJ God complex foolishness, or can otherwise be characterized however you want, but it doesn't matter; it happened, and the unfortunate thing is that the why doesn't matter. All my life everything was about the why which led to constant (to the peak of) self-realization. The why have me a cause and enabled me to bear any house. All I learned that there are things (like Cluster B) rather than people who are completely antithetical to being, which is not something I could have accepted about the nature of human beings, because then it means that we really are all fucked and everything anyone does ultimately only matters to themselves and whatever others in a bubble, which means it doesn't matter at all. Everything I would have supposedly learned, my neurological/physiological condition, and everything in general (even if not everyone who continues possibly living as I did and/or better situated in the world) only reinforces this, let's call it, perspective, which I fought against all my life, embodied, and enacted in practice. If anything, many things were forcibly unlearned. There's no way back to my former perspective which would reflect much of what you're saying. It's why I need another to potentially recover through (which with the neurological damage, I don't even know), but I know that's the only hope. What I might otherwise be able to physically do with my life extremely as a floating head is really besides the point. I had the insight to know in others how this was fucked and fight want to accept how it was fubar. I saw how only with the help of an intimate other could they fix it (if they were able to own it and go through the pain). Now I'm in exactly the same boat. I can own it, but self-blame at this juncture wouldn't do anything. There's no way to self-reassemble alone. It's only in a truly interpersonal context where the other person would more or less be in pristine condition that and support system that I could potentially fix myself. I saw how this was true the other way and just the nature of the problem, and it's not because it's how I'd like/want it (because it makes it easier on me). No, there needs to be an interpsychic reversal of whatever forces/dynamics, and unlike a narcissist, I have to not project/attack in such a vulnerable state on the part of the other person as I take on and work through whatever pain - together or apart (after triggered) depending on what it is. If somebody would be willing and have the time and resources to take me on (as I was), that really is the only way. I doubt that'll happen and am not betting on anything, but I am wondering what the best personality type would be for that in relation to the emulate INFJ which I've traumatically become (one way of putting it), hence why I guess I was asking. Having been flipped like this (while acting righteously), it's made it very clear how other-redemption is a thing and other-fulfilling prophecy is a thing and how you're powerless against it. I learned how what is on the other side of a black hole is also true upon itself and remains to be this way unless altered and acted upon by an outside force and it's self-conscious of its falseness (through which it can be reformed). There's no way to reform myself independently because any part that's recovered is collapsed by it's counterpart. My death drive (on the most base - past instinctual level) has also been activated like a binary switch and there's no way for me to flick it. I promise you this goes beyond just something I'm looking to baselessly believe in order to reinforce a self-defeating perspective...

[@sarika_art_purchase2845]

@@Typhoon792 Let me be honest with you, you come across as smart, capable but you are defining yourself BY that experience. We spend our infant years trying to learn how to crawl to walk, to run. You are arguing that all that progress is lost, is a waste because you experienced as an adult, after mastering walking, falling. Write everything off, walking is now logically to you perceived as a stupid thing to do. You argue and present your logic as if you see only x way out or no way out. What's the point, what's the use, screw everything is the perspective you want to hold on to. You concluded that other potential possibilities are stupid too because you know a lot, and you do. However you do not want to, or are unwilling to factor in things you can not predict, can not anticipate, other possibilities and so you predetermined that your options are limited. When a person tries to wrestle your bitter, cynical state of mind, you use logic as a weapon that if it was serving you well, you would allow to discover new solutions, alternatives, ways etc. You do not want that, those things are reduced to mere "head games". Well if you want to stay down and I am not sure if you are aware but you are throwing yourself a pity party, then you will stay down. If you cant, wont allow yourself another perspective you will stay with a limiting option which I do not think you are ok with. My point is, if you are unwilling to stand in your courage, strength, will, self trust (despite doubting yourself), then you decided that your AIM is to go nowhere and so you shall. And that, will be on you, robbing yourself of having a fulfilling and meaningful life from this moment on. The responsibility of your path resides in your will, intent, agenda and motives for yourself. Be bitter, cynical, angry, feel like everything is hopeless and worthless and throw all the goodness in you away because of one experience... Do the math, what outcomes can you hope to achieve? A good life, a self that you could like? Would that make you happy, content, proud of yourself, respect yourself? What are the alternatives? Will you allow yourself to consider them? Are you having your best interest at heart with your mindset? NO! So if your life goes shitty, who are you going to hold accountable for that? Her? She's gone! There's you left with you right now, alone! That is what and who you have to work with right now. You have a problem picking up your life from the floor alone? Who else would you like and expect to be there? Someone who cares about you more that you should? That person, does not exit my Fellow Human Soul! if there was, then something is very wrong with that equation. You have a very good idea of this accident that left you crashed, you know how it happened, why it happened and THAT it happened! It happened, it was horrible, inhumane, a nightmare but realize, it did not just happen to you, you participated in that experience, nobody held a gun to your head. You are not a "victim" of your life or experiences if you do not concern yourself with identifying with such roles. "Head games" you call it, but you find yourself asking a social engineer for a direction. You are capable! Chose! Own that responsibility of choice and decide a way forward, try, fail, try fail, get more exhausted, get more empowered , life is a struggle. What do you value?

[@Typhoon792]

@@sarika_art_purchase2845 You said all the right things and made an accurate assessment I would say. A speech I would've given (and fervently espoused) even a year ago. These are the words I lived by and what enabled me to independently (by choosing very carefully who did/didn't enter my life equation at every stage of my life and placing them with proper boundaries where they belonged, balancing and making the most of the inner and outer resources made available to me, making every sacrifice for truth and living by it). That being said, yes, free will is an illusion, but I did "choose" to be in that situationship (let's call it). I would also strongly beg to differ that there wasn't a gun pointed to my head but there's no need to get into that to try to get you to understand the truth of my present condition/(un)reality. Basically, I'd ask you to please imagine living a highly principled life with no vices/corruption (with high integrity), taking personal responsibility for every chosen action, having a good sense, and developing a deep understanding of who's responsible for what in every interaction (if you can accept and take that at face value). Imagine along with that a deep feeling of morality derived from your conscience and embodying the values which intrinsically align with the best parts of our nature. Then imagine that this feeling and taking of personal responsibility continually hurt the person that you loved, and, long story short, is precisely what lead to your demise, traumatizing every last part of you you took responsibility for and blamed nobody (which I still don't, given the original sight, prior developments, and continued understanding that I am cursed with). Not only does this trauma make you no longer RESPONSE-ABLE (able to respond), but anything that ever happened or was made to happen originated from this self-empowered source was what caused the trauma (with insight and awareness). This is like a multi-directional positive feedback loop which anything by your own agency feeds back negatively into. The only thing I can hope for is the possibility through the interpsychic dynamics inherent to an intimate relationship with another person, that the gravity/countervailing forces of somebody who's heart, soul, and integrity are in tact can enable me through them to reverse the forces (in a way relive the trauma through their nervous system and use their potential loving energy, which is a real thing) and reform/recover myself. That's really what there is - not in terms of character, not in terms of morality/ethics, not principles - just the reality behind the metaphysical forces and condition of my psyche that I'm dealing with. This can all just be dismissed as just some elaborate form of rationalization, but there's no way for me to prove this or further argue this point besides with these abstractions. I've been completely imploded (besides simply collapsed) and have ended up on the other side of a black hole. There's no way I can reverse it on my own and I literally had nothing/no one to fall back on (completely destroyed every memory/points of connection with almost everything and everyone from infancy). I'm surprised my brain/central nervous system is in tact at all after snapping under all the tension, stress, and pressure (as I was disintegrating)... That's not to amplify my "victimhood". It's to at least try to paint you an accurate image of what's internally actually being dealt with. I'm not identifying with my victimhood. You think I want this "perspective"? It's actually undeniable personal truth with almost the curse of having the insight for the reason for this conflict. Anything I try to boldly build/rebuild at this point will collapse and bring me back to the same starting point if I'm not able to authentically proceed (guiding myself extrinsically).

[@sarika_art_purchase2845]

@@Typhoon792 Consider cptsd therapy of possible. If not there are info out there that is valuable. You are saying you can't do the things to salvage yourself the way you used to because you applied it in the relationship, your brain be like "well look where that got us?" it though does need to decipher the difference when applied in context out of the relationship and in. Break the association by Identifying the differences. Look, people get extremely messed up after being in a relationship with a Narc and especially possibly ones who attached as a co dependant or with bpd. Your Dichotomous thinking is possibly indicative of the latter, explore bpd if you haven't and realise that it is CPTSR, as in not a disorder but a response leads to creating these maladaptive mechanisms that show up as disorders. You are right to have that baggage of feelings, I note that you intellectualise your feelings so it comes across as talking about a traumatic experience without the emotions, means processing them get neglected. I can not imagine your circumstances although I try. My efforts in replying is a way of caring to wrestle with your mind, and the "there's no other way" perception so that you may consider other ways, like possibly therapy because you require yourself to be un-effed with. To process the heavy baggage load so that you have mental RAM space, and energy to walk your way out of the room, the relationship, it's outcomes, that period of your life. I can not make those suggestions for you. You can though. Care enough about you to get you up and running again. If you walk into an experience, you will gain and lose something. It's the nature of life, give take, invest, sacrifice. With a Narc I understand that it isn't really obviously in the beginning, as you get deeper things turn into a nightmare, you feel stuck because some good parts of you say things like "I want to help her and our relationship, what kind of person would I be if I just walked out without trying etc". And tend to oversacrificd until feel nothing is left. I get that. I wrestle with you because there's a blindness from the pain that is keeping you unmoving or if consider moving, would be in a safe way (vicariously or with another, anything but alone). Check out the 4 F responses we go through life functioning from, fight, flight, fawn, freeze... This is a freeze response. Richard Grannon covers this nicely in fortress mental health protection. As well as other useful things like how to self regulate and focuses on the HOW to. I sincerely hope that you retrieve yourself and invest in you as you did before. To find reasons as to why you could want to. Remember that Narcs weaponise a lot of good things against a person so yes it makes sense that it's hard to use that toolbox you tried to use to "fix" , you or point out things to help her too. Hence check your reality, she's not there. Of she weaponised certain things, she's not there right now to do so. This is my last message to you. I think all I wanted to give to you is that, you aren't alone somehow, that someone cared to read, respond, engage and wrestle your dark outlook. I hope that you wrestle too until you get an outcome that you can be happy with. Find the type of assistance that let's you walk out the nightmare into your life so you can show up again in your life. Remember, you are capable! I'm a stranger, I see that. You know it but you got stripped from alot maybe including belief in yourself. It is a requirement. You can have a co driver in your car, but you got to get to a point of eff this, I want to drive again, my awesome car, I'm getting in! Mastery is a life long process... An accident, no matter how bad it was... It's our responsibility to not resign! If you wake up, alive, breathing, each day is an opportunity to do something different to construct the kind of life you would be happier to live in. If it is a gift, to experience, learn, grow, fail and everything in between, even suffering won't keep you down because life can be meaningful enough to justify itself! You can bully yourself into doing things or you can ask yourself what are you willing to do... Give yourself options, take it and intend /decide to want a different life experience than the current! All the Best Fellow Human! And Please watch your minds tendency to rip everyone's any other perspective to bits because you actually are self sabotaging in wanting to stay stuck /freeze response feels safer than any other. It's understandable but... Be aware of it. If your logic throws everyones options they pose you, out, you are left with your own and you already decided that is a limited stance. Check your intentions for yourself and see if you are ok with that. Or screw all this. Get a pen and paper Ask yourself a simple question "What do I want for myself right now?" What the hell do I need to do to support that? Figure it out and execute! There's a time for thinking, feeling and actual doing. Why should you? Well you need to ask yourself those questions too and expect an answer. These conversations with others will not provide you with that, with clarity and something that aligns with the essence of you. Who are you after the experience? Go find out and architect!

[@kittyblossom7342]

For me, rule #5 is more important than rule #1, because ENTPs don't know about their future, and I kinda wanna be certain before I make a decision and give it my all. Also, I can't relate to your "lust" part of rule #1. I had only slept with my ISTP husband till I got married (stayed virgin till marriage), and after the divorce the second person that I slept with is my ENTP bf. I'm nearly 30 now. Had enough opportunities, but not really interested in sleeping with "many" men. However, I do realate with the part of wanting everything. I have a hard time sticking with my career and hobbies, because I want to have it ALL. So, I jump from one interest to another, learning a bit of everything, but not sticking with anything. This is one of the greatest obstacles in my career.

[@aladdout9454]

was there a specific reason for the divorce with istp?

[@kittyblossom7342]

@@aladdout9454 Yeah. He was physically violent with me. Also lied a lot.

[@aladdout9454]

@@kittyblossom7342 I'm glad you are happier now❤️ fuck that stp noise

[@theepitomiclife4170]

Thank you for sharing it with us. The most touching video I have ever seen.

[@HAITCH-]

So if one women alone can never satisfy one man, why bother open myself up to love at all? It's something I as an infj cannot wrap my head around. I would be entering into a union that I am 100% guaranteed to fail in. I could do everything right, never let myself go, be incredibly smart, funny, witty, try my absolute hardest to love a man with every atom of my being and still come up short. It's bloody hopeless. I feel like I am beating my head against a wall trying to understand an unsolvable problem. Mind you, for context I am religious so the idea of casually sleeping around is laughable. How does an infj feel 'safe' as a woman with a man when she know deep down, always, like a dark looming cloud that never dissipates, she'll never be 'woman' enough for him and that he will always long for multiple partners? Just accept it and pray that God lets you sleep a little while every night? Life without love seems arduous long and colourless. I have broken my own heart with my own thoughts long before any man had the inevitable chance to. I am so confused and bewildered it's tiring.

[@aidenparca]

I'm amazed how they're all right

[@sparrowfish3537]

Chase this was so great! It's crazy how spot on this is

[@justinjbolyard]

Coach Corey Wayne ENFP, talks about listening to his Golden Pair in his book, says to never dismiss an INFJ in his own way. Said she will sigh and feel relieved that you listened and say “ahh I feel so much better, thank you for listening.” They REALLY REALLY don’t want to hear Ti parent… they don’t. Let her VENT… Trust me. They also don’t care WHY people do things, they don’t want to hear Ti parent solutions. They want you to listen, that’s it.

[@menageriegardenshoppe]

Ok, I've been loyal to my ENTP spouse for our entire 20 years of marriage.

[@nakoramos5593]

broooooo, this was hella fire!!!! Love ur energy sending good vibes!

[@pinklasagna8328]

You look so ENTP in this video

[@jaredvaughan1665]

INTJs tend to have an avoidant attachment style which primarily fears rejection. INFJs tend to have an anxious attachment style which fears abandonment. Good job picking that up!

[@SublimeSanchita]

Most of us are actually fearful avoidants. We deal with both sides of that craptacular coin. Explains a lot.

[@aladdout9454]

disagree. Both types seem to have both.

[@jolinarn]

INFJ Love in a nutshell: Ride or Die, soul bound

[@tinacherry2295]

Rule #7 im a bullshit detector. I never want to be protected from the world. Ill discern what i want in my life, what i want to overthink about. Ill be annoyed by someone thinking im not capable of independent thinking. Im least easily influenced

[@pinklasagna8328]

INFJs, where can i find you people?

[@cashreyadas6563]

And your type would be?

[@pinklasagna8328]

@@cashreyadas6563 infp

[@cashreyadas6563]

@@pinklasagna8328 where would we find you guys?😛

[@ravishingtwinkle3811]

Here

[@muhammadamininfj5999]

Of course, you can! Most people who are into psychology are INFJs

[@karllejon9509]

I feel like my Fe is so strong that I always accomodate to another's energy. That's why we can be described as chameleons.

[@sazude2]

I wanna say thank you for this video tho. In the past I questioned your adoration for us but this truly makes me believe you love us. If I had a man like you in my life who would be honest as you are in this video even if he has a personality like yours I would love him so hard that I would be as loyal as the prophet to Gomer. I thank you for your adoration for us and you are kinda giving me a different perspective on love and the masculine ideal. You're low-key amazing. Subscribed.

[@CSJoseph]

Thanks bro, and yes, I do love you.

[@CedLatt]

This one was spicy 🌶

[@therealyeti1482]

INFJs, how can an INTP learn to let go? I fell in love with a beautiful young INFJ lady before the pandemic, but the feeling wasn’t mutual and we haven’t spoken since lockdown was announced while in 12th grade. I have been obsessed with learning everything about INFJs, likely in the hopes that one day I will be successful in “winning” an INFJ’s heart. Her warmth was something unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and her genuine smile while wearing a red dress melted me. I have been crying so much recently and need to do something. I have gone on a mission to try to learn some of the empathy that she has as it was so special and I want to give that gift back to others. I feel like a small part of me still clings onto hope that someday I will be enough and I can finally “convince” her to fall in love with me. I know it’s illogical, but I don’t know how to process these feelings and let myself move on. I am trying to learn how to love myself and carry forward some of the lessons learned from our experience. I know she wouldn’t want to see me still frequently sobbing over her years afterwards. It’s great that I want to love but I deserve to love myself as well, while also giving all of myself to someone who truly loves me back. I sometimes feel like I switch from the most detached to the most feeling of people. I have been afraid of vulnerability for a long time, and it’s important to try to step out of that shadow. Si child can get stuck sometimes. I am also suspected of having ADD and have heard that some feel a heightened sense of rejection. Thanks for reading 🙂 (Fe), James - 22 y/o INTP 5w6 male

[@suzieeheng4666]

The Healing of a Boy with a Demon: On the next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him. There was a man in the crowd who cried out, "Teacher, I beg you, look at my son; he is my only child. For a spirit seizes him and he suddenly screams and it convulses him until he foams at the mouth; it releases him only with difficulty, wearing him out. I begged your disciples to cast it out but they could not." Jesus said in reply, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long will I be with you and endure you? Bring your son here." As he was coming forward, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion; but Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the boy, and returned him to his father. And all were astonished by the majesty of God.

[@jhummelgaard9310]

The AD(H)D community is great! You will feel at home. A bunch of kids in adult bodies, immature and childish - you will never get bored! I'm an INFJ not yet officially diagnosed but I'm in the process of getting one. In any case, I'm in love with a young INTP woman who recently got the AD(H)D diagnosis. It made me reflect that I might have the exact same issues. Oh btw, I've been obsessed with learning everything about INTPs because of her! The INTP and INFP are my favorite types! But most INFP women have their head in the sand as CSJ expresses it! At least to my experience... INTP women have an intelligence that I can't comprehend. I can recommend the book, Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate, about AD(H)D. It outlines the reasons for why we feel rejection so strongly. First step is to see yourself as a young child, 1 year of age or about. Some parts of your brain has really not grown into adult emotional maturity! Some other important points - you are stuck in seeking external validation. That is why you can't let go! You live in a magic world where TIME does not exist! Until your level of anxiety is taking over you wishful (childish) thinking and you start to get things done. I was late I think 100% of the time throughout public and high school. Everything was 100% disorder and chaos every morning. Over the years I've learned to be on time, I just plan to be 15 minutes early and end up on time. For a person with AD(H)D there are only 2 states of time - "Now" or "Not now". Time blindness is a serious issue! People with AD(H)D can't learn from observing other people fail, it never internalizes! AD(H)D people will have to learn it the hard way. All people with AD(H)D lack self confidence! We can't develop it so we become people pleasers (craving external validation). We have a void inside that we want other people to fill! The path forward is therapy and perhaps treatment. You need to start developing those parts of you that are underdeveloped. But the problem is that they can only be developed to a point, so you will have to rely on all sorts of external help, anti-planing strategies, sticker notes etc... I really recommend you do your own research on the matter - don't trust the experts! Or at least if you believe you might have it and one expert disagrees, go seek another one! That's important! That diagnosis could very well be that thing that will turn your life around for the better! Then you won't feel so bad for "failing at normal" as it's called...

[@elaine-thinks-thoughts]

aaaaand im crying, great x"D

[@emolly93]

Great video as always 👏🏻!! You said INFJs shouldn’t sleep alone as it really affects their health, why is that?

[@muhammadamininfj5999]

There is some subtle INFJ roasting is going on as well 😆

[@icew0lf98]

this is so right, great job on this video

[@hollyosullivan6019]

Saying highest body count out of all of the types makes them sound like serial killers.😁

[@sarika_art_purchase2845]

Its problematic when you talk about a Type, from your personal experience with them, amalgamate theory and your experience and present it as an absolute truth. You are free to express your personal observations but to offer that as a truth is dangerous to peoples wellbeing. How is it ok to break privacy of someone you were once in a relationship with by disclosing their name? There are so many videos that I have watched of you about this type and it does not fully encompass what an INFJ is about. Consider that types at different maturity levels look different at different times of their lives. Perhaps heal your trigger points with this type so that you may see the type objectively or, accept that the "sample" of INFJs you have been exposed to , does not cover the whole. It is uncomfortable for you to talk about this type, why? It is hard to completely see this type, why? You speak your observations, beliefs, opinions as a truth. Is that not damaging to the nature of spreading information? If they make up the smallest percentage of the population, which is the reason why they are the most misunderstood, would it not make sense to provide your opinion as speculative? Thumbs up for trying to remain composed in talking about this type, but it still bleeds though. Unresolved issues you have with this type, will lead to you coming across as you love them , but bash them. That love is not felt. The compassion is not felt, resentment is, failure is felt, regret is felt along with other things. Your internal dissonance and incongruence ...it shows. As if this is a sore spot. You are projecting your unresolved stuff onto this conversation. You have verbally abused INFJs in previous videos, so what is this about? Damage control? A new group of INFJ followership to rectify passed transgressions because you won't be introspective and respond appropriately? Please note that if you use MBTI in the context it was intended to be used it expands rather than contracts into a box inside a box. MBTI is not a standalone thing. It is meant to be used in a Psychological context to facilitate the Psychotherapist, in a Psychoanalytical setting to assist resolve what afflicts the Psyche, taking Psychodynamics in mind. This is no different than teaching people about Astrology, telling them their star sign is and telling them that what you think they are is in fact what they are. You want to do this right the first time around, but this is not your first time. The previous attempts went horribly sideways to the point that INFJs kicked up and said that you need to apologize. Please do not underestimate peoples ability to see through what you either know, or won't see. It is one thing to believe you are achieving something, vs actually achieving it vs wanting to believe that you are achieving that thing. Seems to be a hindsight issue that gets a pass. I apologize for saying this publicly. I do hope that you receive my subjective observations well, if not and it leads to a "take down", knock yourself out, I won't be engaging in response. Stay safe!

[@jonathanchappell9503]

I know I am always going back and forth but im pretty sure I am an INFJ. Anyway, I am almost only interested in you because you are critical. You earn my love by challenging me.

[@CSJoseph]

If going to www.udja.app doesn't work, download the free type grid companion at csjoseph.life and work through that, you'll get your answer. Or if you're impatient you can always get a 15 min typing session.

[@c.m.b.1676]

@@CSJoseph Im so glad you still have the 15 min option~ Thanks for the content!

[@jonathanchappell9503]

@@CSJoseph thankyou Chase, I am experienced with your stuff, I am just a little retarded when it comes to seeing myself. I think Im an INFJ. I chalk it up to being so damned subconcious focussed for a decade that it made me indecisive with it.

[@baharmoadeli586]

Thank you for this amazing season but putting INFP for the last episode will always be a big pain in the ass😂

[@CSJoseph]

It's 15 episodes between videos for each type when it comes to seasons. totally equal.