D&D Players, What was your best "Wait...what?!" moment?

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D&D Players, What was your best "Wait...what?!" moment?
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[@bingoringo4473]

I once joked to another player that an NPC was probably just two Kobolds stacked on top of each other in a trench coat. The amount of whiplash experienced when the DM revealed that said individual was not two, but THREE Kobolds in a trench coat was kind of glorious.

[@kiulloa6491]

Wait what I am totally stealing that for my campian

[@enderborn6860]

why does that fit so well?

[@lulospawn]

Oooh a Vincent Adultman

[@taekwonditto]

Okay that’s WAY funnier than I thought it would be. Thanks for the laugh 😂

[@lulospawn]

Wait I just heard such a story in which there was a TPK and the kobolds survived. Was that you???

[@somik-i3x]

Remember everyone : Rogue is a class. Rouge is a sonic character or the color red in french.

[@FizzieWebb]

I FEEL this on a spiritual level.

[@KurisuBlaze]

Though Rouge probably would be a rogue.

[@ianh1504]

Also a kind of makeup that samurais wore

[@somik-i3x]

@@KurisuBlaze Yes totally.

[@fredericguitardlabelle1972]

Remember everyone, every time you use rouge instead of rogue a nerd loses its glasses.

[@oldsoldier4209]

In over 40 years playing TTRPGs, I have found that the last line of that final story is almost a permanent state of being. "DM: legitimately irritated "

[@Morayzilla]

I lost it with the tabaxie rogue "MEOW B*TCH!!!"

[@ignisshadowflame1027]

I want to do that now.

[@WolfBoy-om6dw]

Me too man

[@Phantomvalthus]

Our party had spent a significant time in a dungeon. We at some point finally reached the surface, and our DM told us that we were blinded by a bright light. The entire party thought that it was God talking to us. We all rolled under 10 to talk to him, so I decided to attack whatever entity decided to blind us. I rolled a nat 1. The DM lets us converse among ourselves and plan what to do next about the light. He then casually, "Alright, your eyes begin to adjust to the light of the sun."

[@lechking941]

*the kobold is unimpressed*

[@amberkat8147]

Sooo . . . how are you planning to attack the sun?

[@hiroshock]

The last story is the reason why I love DnD

[@davemakesnoises]

🤩

[@niveknaylik531]

Hell yeah.

[@ScribeHolder]

Agreed

[@davlamin0459]

ROFLMAO!!! Exactly.

[@cjlite0210]

He yeeted a cat at the BBEG! XD This is why you need to know details on other characters

[@crowsenpai5625]

On that last story, when it was the Druid who asked about how the BBEG was allergic to cats, I was expecting some shit like “I cast Conjure Animals at 9th level to summon 32 house cats and wildshape into a cat myself to lead the charge.”

[@JIKwood]

That would be just as hilarious but not sure if we would get "meow bitch" from it.

[@thanatos5150]

You kid, but in Shadowrun, this is not only a legitmate plan, but also a fairly sane one.

[@juliagoodwin9510]

"a fish centipede abomination wearing a top hat and monacle". There's something you don't hear every day.

[@lulospawn]

When that monk made the pact with the raven queen to give her his soul during his sleeping hours and said he was multiclassing into warlock I thought he was actually going to pick that invocation when you don't sleep no more.

[@xleplayVA]

Well, it says that their characters reincarnate, and that he did have feelings for the raven queen in that past life, and that with those memories the feelings came with them.

[@dyproxus1806]

First off, yes, it was me who submitted that story. I actually didn't even consider the sleepless invocation at the time, but I'm fairly sure that a deception like that would have come back to bite me in the ass later on; we already had a few gods who were after our heads as it were XD. And yes, those feelings returned with the memories, but even then my DM wrote and played The Raven Queen so damn well during our 3 day stay in her palace that it was incredibly difficult for us as players to dislike her too, so it really made the fact that we had to leave surprisingly painful, even if were technically being held prisoner. It was more a matter of trying to find a happier solution.

[@lulospawn]

@@dyproxus1806 yeah makes sense. I'm just so jaded that all I see in these stories is people one-upping each other nowadays. Like, DM and players trying to fist each other with loopholes.

[@bakaultima]

Most wait what moment easy your party is walking through the forest when suddenly a 8 ft tall shark wearing a martial arts gi drops in front of you......

[@emberfist8347]

The DM who gave his BBEG a cat allergy should have seen that coming. He knew the barbarian had a pet cat and his BBEG had an allergy to them and he didn’t the Barbarian would use them together. That said it did give us the line “I want to introduce Whiskers to the dickhead in the room” which is the funniest line in the video

[@wolfpupgaming5922]

Only moment I had that made my party go "wait what?" In the only and short session I played was when He kept searching for a magic item. I found a "spoon of stirring" it simply stirs if put in a body of liquid. Later on I decided to chuck it into the ocean....I may have then caused an entire city to be flooded because of the sudden vortex...

[@dyproxus1806]

Yay! My Raven Queen story made it! 🥳

[@davemakesnoises]

🎆

[@augustusdavis958]

I loved that story

[@e4Bc4Qf3Qf7]

It was really good!

[@pjopaloma]

its amazing

[@ozwalkr]

That was beautiful.

[@Jerrell7321]

9:16 I immediately imagined picking up the Next session with Pickle Rick screaming "Look Morty, I'm your spine!" 😂

[@lechking941]

XD poor PC cat tho

[@aidanjackson5084]

Two moments from the same campaign I was in: First was when our group arrived at a keep that was being seiged by some old allies turned enemies of our Tiefling Paladin. After sneaking into the keep and learning the situation from the Orcs within the keep, our party met with the seiging group by the keep entrance. Their leader, a Minotaur who clearly looked to have taken a deal with a dark power, was challenging our group to a 1-on-1 combat. Our Tiefling Paladin took up this challenge, using special abilities his unique Magic Item (we all got one for this campaign, each of which evolved after certain key events took place) he was able to get Triple Advantage on attacks, somehow actually defeating this demonic Minotaur and winning the combat for the Orcs, whom we later convinced to join us as allies for an upcoming battle our party was preparing for. The second moment was when our party was finally able to track down a member of the BBEG's group we had been searching for, especially after hearing that he had a Magic Sword that would be helpful in the fight ahead. We were able to track him down, along with the possess and mind controlled parents of our Cleric. We were able to disarm the villain and our Paladin (same Paladin from the last story) was able to retrieve the sword. However, it appeared that the Sword was cursed. Failing a Wisdom save, our Paladin ended up driving the sword through our Cleric's Father, killing him and dooming his soul to torment. On the bright side though, we were able to save the Mother and defeat the member of the BBEG's group. Still, our Cleric was quite traumatised after the events that took place.

[@Graham2777]

When my players don't turn up to a session their characters suddenly become catatonic and stare into space, rigid, unmoving and unable to wake. I don't actively kill them off (usually) but they can be moved/manipulated by the world and other characters. So, invariably, one of the other players puts the missing players characters finger in their nose or straps them to the side of a horse or something.

[@lechking941]

Lol, I probably wod have them just striped of gear and tied to a horse unless ots cold ot something, than just enough heat to keep alive. (Unless I make a rouge who is a greedy shit the gear would be In a bag) but often my group just shoved the missing I to a pocket realm that is some female PCs bust, (quite littory endless space between a pair of boobs, and depending on the party it's the largest) so ya we a bit juvi with that joke BUT it has been always amusing as they shrink and ploped in. And this space only exists for PCs who can't make it.

[@Transubstantiate]

My best "Wait... What?!" moment happened probably 5 years after the end of a campaign. We were playing a Pathfinder first edition game in a homebrew setting called "Anavrin". Don't worry about what that says if you read it backward, I'm sure it's simply a coincidence. Anyway, this setting is a really interesting one where, more than a hundred years prior to the start of the game, the all the classically evil races and species, as well as anyone with an evil alignment, had been exterminated. After that, a war broke out among all the "heroes" in the land (anyone with PC class levels) and the final hero standing was a super powerful bard queen who eventually died of old age without training anyone in the ways of heroes. Since her death, about a hundred years prior, the Church of Balance had gained a lot of power, but theirs was a twisted view of balance where the extremes (good and evil, law and chaos) were equally bad and it was only through neutrality that the world could be saved. My character, Sunderiel, was an elf *just* old enough to remember the war of heroes. Because PC classes were off the table, we all started out playing NPC classes and I was playing an Adept, a class that doesn't really take advantage of an elf's natural abilities, and this is something that had rankled Sunderiel; he wanted to learn to do magic, he wanted to know magic, and he didn't like not knowing. He also didn't like this view of neutrality, feeling it was leading to a tipping point and eventual collapse of their society and (I later found out) was the only PC to latch on to that plot point. We had even worked out a path for Sunderiel to take and what the likely outcomes would be once the group eventually found out. Sunderiel was aware of what had happened in the Hero War and felt that that came about because of the fact the "heroes" no longer had "villains" with which to fight and so took it upon himself to spread evil, knowing that good would rise up to face it, and good, knowing that there would be evil to oppose it. I don't remember any longer how the group came together but we journeyed long and hard, eventually (and accidentally) unleashing a lich on this unprotected land. We started journeying with the intent of helping refugees escape cities and helping cities shore up their defenses. I took it upon myself to go out helping people when we were in the cities, spreading around my wealth (I didn't have much but the people had far less, most people in this setting make a few copper pieces a year, essentially). I would take a set amount of gold, break it down into silver and copper, and go about donating money to these beleaguered people. In one city, it went well, I inspired others to good works and they followed my example, helping each other out. In another, overcrowded city, it went really well, I inspired greed and selfishness. The group was worried when I came back from my do-gooding beaten and robbed, insisting they go with me on my missionary work next time, but I assuaged their fears. It wasn't long after that that the GM's notes, supplies, and books were stolen from our local game store (he hadn't noticed he'd forgotten them inside and nobody noticed the thief walking away with his stuff) so we never made it much further, though Sunderiel did get to make use of his intelligence by eventually becoming a Witch, and even started a romance with a blue dragon he'd helped free from eternal imprisonment. It was probably five years later that I brought up to the group the fact that Sunderiel was playing both sides, spreading evil as well as good. Their mouths all dropped. Every single one. One player, who had enjoyed Sunderiel, swore on his name, cursed me (several times, in fact), and didn't use polite language for several minutes due to the shock. It was wonderful and I just wish it had come out in game.

[@demonicfiendjr]

We walked into a party that was sort of like a prom in highschool. I was a rogue and our warlock convinced me to steal the "prom queen's" crown. He made me invisible and then I snuck behind and tried to grab it. She turned around and grabbed my arm. She then turned into a monster and ordered all 200 of the partygoers to attack us.

[@lechking941]

*beg for mercy and throw the warlock under the bus*

[@lucielm]

Sounds like your average prom queen.

[@joshuaoluyole2804]

I love this channel. Please, never stop doing what ur doing

[@davemakesnoises]

We can't do it without stories from our community!

[@cloudythoughts9864]

I don't know if this count but here we go. We had just tpk'd and we were creating new characters and one of my friends says they wanted to do a kobold rouge and somehow he ended with a 19 dex at lvl 2 (we were starting at lvl 2 cause the campaign was hard)

[@lechking941]

FUCK YA LETS GO FOOD ROLLS BAYBE!

[@SilverDungeoneer]

I told my players the captain got off the boat without saying anything. I forgot to mention they made it back to the port. They legit thought I described the captain jumping ship in the middle of the ocean.

[@jonathanmarks3112]

4:23 That story was epic! 7:06 Kudos to that player for finding door number three! 8:55 Wait... What? DETAILS!!! 9:22 Wait... What? 13:12 My reaction exactly- that was GOLD!!!

[@cringeperson6333]

A wait what moment ... You just described all of the campaigns I participate in and DM

[@zachrich7359]

Played a DnD adventure where we eventually came across some 40k shenanigans, due to some insane luck, DM decided to gift us some high technology. Gunslinger got arguably the good and really short end of the stick. To set the stage, this player knew relatively little about 40k while I am very knowledgeable, but try not to let player knowledge and roleplay mix. The relic the gunslinger found was a plasma pistol. I immediately broke into cold sweat as I knew he just picked up what could potentially explode with the very first shot. DM described it as a pistol firing bolts of energy as hot as the sun, but had to be reloaded after a set number of shots, with a d20 roll being need to be made every shot. What the DM decided not to say, was that on a roll of 1, the pistol would overheat, and you would need to roll again. A second natural one would mean the pistol would catastrophicily fail and explode, cooking everything in about a 10ft radius as a miniature star is unleashed for a brief second. Any other roll would just make the gun inoperable for a period of time. But I decide not to see anything for a long time, partly to see how this shitfest would end. And, admittedly, it took longer than I thought it would. But it came down to a fight against a pair of green dragons, most pcs were falling back as we had overestimated our ability some and been mauled, our gunslinger then pulled out the pistol and began firing as much as he could. As my character and another ran past, the dreaded 1 appeared. DM asked him to roll again, gunslinger visibl stops and gingerly picks up his die, he had, up to this point, never rolled a 1 on the pistol. He rolls again, and it's a 1 again. The DM then basically described all 3 PCs getting cooked and the gunslinger was practically speechless as he had no idea just how dangerous his trusty pistol was and never bothered to question why he had to roll a d20 every time he fired.

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

PANR has tuned in.

[@donutlover417]

Aw, beat me to the comments again PANR :pensive:

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

@@donutlover417 my apologies my friend. If you should like, I can hold my comment until after you reply from time to time.

[@donutlover417]

@@postapocalypticnewsradio it is alright, buddy- how’s it out there in the wasteland?

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

@@donutlover417 in that case, I shall continue! With only slight delay. As these usually appear while I'm editing. As for the wasteland, this comes from today's report. You may have noticed a slight lull in the rain. Indeed we're given a respite from the unending down pour, but the clouds yet dim our skies. Even so, we can anticipate the rain's return later tonight or early tomorrow morning. With the pause in the rain, the humidity levels are spiking. For first, we'll suffer 95% humidity, and increased temperatures of 29 degrees Celsius with a minimum of 27. Low winds are expected, therefore I regret to say there is no reprieve from the humidity.

[@davemakesnoises]

@@postapocalypticnewsradio another muggy dismal day in this living purgatory. May respite soon soothe our wandering souls.

[@joshuawoodfolk8202]

@5:30 The Raven Queen (and this type of yandere-esque love story) kinda turns me on to be honest 😳 So, I was sitting opposite the DM at the beginning of a session. We were jumping into the start of a climactic fight. The story in this part of the video was interesting (regardless of my arousal), so I showed it to my party while the DM was setting up the battle map. The DM finished preparations and told us to place our characters where we wanted. Keep in mind, we JUST finished watching the part of the video with Raven Queen love-story. Anyways, I wanted to be placed closer to the DM's side of the table, which meant I needed to stand up and reach over the map. Immediately, I (myself, not my lvl 9 tavern-brawling barbarian) earned the moniker of, The Table-Flipper, when I slid the party's dice and all map placements up against the DM screen because someone's 'little raven' tilted the table when I stood.

[@axolotllove3991]

Short snippet from the first session of my first campaign. The party accidentally made the level 30 bars who hired them pass out twice. He had a pace maker and was fine, but dang if that wasn't some strong orc broth!

[@donutlover417]

PANR will tune in shortly

[@Menhtrol]

Just found this channel and so far it's been little over 30 min of non stop pure entertainment and laughter 🤣

[@lubusbtch]

"Now the Cat has a poisonous pickle for a spine.... Why'd I let that happen." The hardest thing for new DM's to learn is how to say no to his/her players.

[@werd3426]

as a new DM I couldn't kill any of my players.. Now I am about to play not D&D, but cyberpunk2020 in hopes that my player will be actually immortal

[@lechking941]

@@werd3426 I mean you should try not to but story is the main goal.

[@dextertek9536]

I roll to hit on a player. "Does a 32 hit?" "A 32 does not hit." We were 7th level.

[@oz_jones]

Shield?

[@camerongunn7906]

My favorite real-life wait what moment was it my sergeant got out of the Humvee to piss. He casually got back into the Humvee, and very casually announced that we were sitting directly over top of an IED. When we of course said wait what he replied by immediately unassing said humvee like it was lava. Which we all did an expeditious fashion

[@ericb3157]

"jar of pickles which healed him and poisoned others"...reminds me of a strange potion in a strange game i have, which heals you AND poisons you. it's silly, but still potentially useful since it's an INSTANT heal, and not heal-over-time like REGULAR health potions!

[@komeresiegemaker502]

Playing a 5e Star Wars module. I made my DM go "wait, what‽' when I unveiled Force Crush, which deals 10d8 damage on a failed dex save. The look on his face when I told him that was PRICELESS.

[@severren1095]

Thats more powerful than fireball which is 8d6

[@charimonfanboy]

The party ran through a brothel trying to escape some rather tough thugs and the entire scene was just everyone staring at the guy playing the high charisma warlock succeeding all his deception checks and laughing their asses off. Warlock bursts through the rear entrance, grabbed the eunuch standing guard and shouted "the guards are raiding us, get help" followed by banging on a random doors until a half naked dude answered and shouted at them "it's their father come to kill you" the party ran after him, bumped into a eunuch and warlock cried out "after him, he killed the girl I was sleeping with" the party ducked into a random room trying to escape, lots of guards in there, so he shouted "to arms, the eunuchs are rebelling and killing the customers", followed them to the eunuch tackling the customer, guards killed the eunuch, Warlock ran past, taking his top off and dipping his hand in the blood. Smeared the blood on his chest as he collapsed into the entrance hall shouting about the puritan fanatics trying to kill everyone in the brothel. grabbed a discarded shirt burst out of the doors visibly struggling into his shirt, collapsed into the arms of the guard crying hysterically about the slaves killing everyone in a drug induced rage then skipped off round the corner secure in the knowledge that the thugs who had chased him were fully occupied in the brothel.

[@Mr-__-Sy]

Now that's a "wait what?" moment

[@ozblok7018]

DnD sounds fun to play in, I can see myself making multiple characters

[@surtrgaming1730]

I was playing a Paladin/Sorcerer keeping a couple of basilisks at bay, blocking their paths, and I recently cast web as well. I took one big hit, and lost half my health. Someone summoned a pixie. Then, I started focusing on what to do next turn, to avoid having to think for 5 minutes. I vaguely heard the player talking about blindsight and fly, but I was focusing on my next turn. Until I heard: Player: "The Pixie casts Polymorph on the Paladin, to turn him into a giant bat" Me: "Wait, what?" DM: "I'm guessing your character is not willing to be polymorphed?" Me: "Why would he?" DM: "Roll a WIS save then" Me: "19" DM: "The Pixie's spell fails" Player: "Great, the pixie can only do that once a day" Yeah, I was using Polearm Master + Sentinel, and I figured that a Giant Bat couldn't use a halberd

[@amberkat8147]

That one with Whiskers was AMAZING, I love it!

[@charge8039]

As a follow up to Martin and Shaper’s shinanegins, more stupid stuff happened. Literally immediately after Martin got arrested, we finally had our first combat encounter of the campaign, and already down one PC since Martin got whisked away. We were fighting some imps, who are super fragile but deal loads of damage: all PC’s rolled terribly on initiative. Our tankiest PC, Wrenn the Fighter, died in one hit. If she was at full, then she would have lived, but because of Martin’s bodyslam from earlier, she was at half. Then the next imp crit Shaper, instantly knocking him down. At this point, everyone was panicking because it looks like we might have a tpk on the first ever combat encounter. Luckily, our druid Aquamarine, who wasnt really relevant up to this point, spent her turn healing Shaper. On the next round of combat, Shaper was able to take out two in one round since he killed two with his rapier, one as a normal attack an another as a reaction for an attack of opportunity. Needless to say, nearly having a TPK on the campaigns first combat encounter was a WTF moment.

[@josesoria2072]

I have a good one... lets begin This is a story about a roleplay campaign about Song of Ice and Fire, the members of the campaign was a bunch of randoms (including me) that don't really know how to play D&D or stuff like that, anyway, we're playing it with all kind of crazy rules and little to nothing to control things, at some point, one of the major characters of the campaign, (who was a player) decided to launch a full invasion to the Reach, specifically to Highgarden with a huge army of nearly 60 thousand strong, with at least a third being cavalry and 100 elephants. The defender of the castle only have like 4-5 hundreds inside, but also a laarge amount of wildfire, counting in hundreds or even thousands of pots of the substance. When the army of Griff (attacking player name) decided to storm the castle GM say "roll for the first wall" Griff Nat 17 "roll for the second one" Griff Nat 20, "roll for the last one" Griff Nat 18 GM says "your army storms the castle nearly without resistance, the Tyrell soldiers run, surrend or die at your advance" Defender guy says "Can I use now the substance?" GM "yes why not" Griff "can I search for it too?" GM "sure, you almost already won" Defender Nat 20 Griff Nat 1 GM ... Griff .... Defender "can I escape before the fire starts?" GM "*sighs* ok, roll it, but now it's a 100 dice" Defender Roll 98 All of us, waiting for the GM..... GM "A huge, huge, HUGE flame spout out of the basements of Highgarden like a volcano, one by one the soldiers and every living beings in a league near the castle burns to death or gets wounded by the wildfire, Lord Tyrell and a bunch of loyal soldiers and knights gets away without being noticed" An entire army, almost 20 thousands horses and 100 elephants died that day... was a glorious victory for the defender who won the war in a single movement

[@AK-ix3yt]

When I convinced one of my party members to name their character Burr Ito

[@nathanrollick5821]

Dude your voice acting skills are freakin impressive. Hope you'll keep appearing in more videos.

[@Dragonsofchaos852]

4:25 untill 7:05 Damn that was good.

[@moop1518]

I played a bronze dragonborn paladin. We were fighting a shambling mound and I thought it would be cool to finish it off with lightning breath. I was wrong.

[@sabliath9148]

I've made that same mistake, just swap in Lizardfolk Druid and Call Lightning.

[@wer57lps60]

I've posted this in the comments before, but I love how this happened, so I'll share again. The cast is as follows; Me - Level 5ish Tiefling Rogue (look, I spelled it right!) subclass arcane trickster - Name: Vyism Ao Vorqyd (angel of death in infernal) Story and character wise I realize I mixed up the two names, so don't look too closely at it My Wife - Level 5ish Tabaxi Fighter, subclass champion My Aunt - Level 5ish Dragonborn Sorcerer My Cousin - Level 5ish Dragonborn Fighter (It's been a while so I'll try to get the gist of everything properly; that and I'm not a great story teller, please forgive me) A little backstory, but not much, my character is was the heir of the Vorqyd matriarchal kingdom (the kingdom of death I now realize), parents both dead and I have yet to come of age to properly take the throne. Being a selfish spoiled princess I didn't want to run a kingdom, I wanted to go out and adventure; so I would frequently sneak out. Until my coming of age the kingdom was run by a group of advisors who would consult with my older brother. To hide who I was I began disguising myself and took on the alias of Vyism (who would suspect the princess of death to don the name "Angel"). I had no interest in running the kingdom at all, and knew my brother would make a much better leader, but being a matriarchal kingdom, he could not inherit the throne as long as there was a female heir. So I devised a plan to fake my own death, gathered a few of my easily identifiable items, placed them on a corpse (not sure what corpse, never thought about that specific part of the back story), and lit the thing on fire to make it physically unrecognizable. Dead princess, the prince can rule, and Vyism can leave to do what ever she wanted with no restrictions, except for one thing; I was caught. Vyism the occasional adventurer and solver of problems was seen burning the body of the Princess of Vorqyd, easily identified by a few personal items. So I fled and can no longer return home; either I'd make it known that the princess survived and be stuck ruling, or I'd be put to death as the one who killed the heir to the throne. So I travel across the sea never to return. But onto the game. Early in the game I managed to nab a few loose cards from the deck of many things, and while doing so, accidentally drew one; Flames. For those of you who may not know, I now have a devil who will hunt me until one of us dies; yay. (DM describes a fleeting image of a devil's face that I recognize from my youth and innately know I am now being hunted.) Moving forward we are in the process of clearing out a tower of dragon cultists, to get the McGuffin at the top. The second to last floor we have to fight a young green dragon who chained up. We dispatched of it, and were fairly beaten up; we loot the floor, I find a spiffy magical necklace resembling a red feather. We use a few of our healing potions we climb the last four. I've kind of become the leading member at this point so I go up first and what do I see? the leader of the cult dead and decapitated with my lovely Ice Devil "friend" standing nearby (I had been prone to fire spells up to this point, DM took some time to try to find something resistant to my antics). ID is the Ice Devil, VV is Vyism Ao Vorqyd. ID "Took you long enough! I've been waiting for you Vorqyd!" VV "Who are you talking about" (Even though I'm a whole continent away, I've kept of my disguise on the off chance I'd be recognized; but the devil saw right through it) ID "Don't play games with me. I know who you are; the last surviving member of the Vorqyd bloodline!" VV "Last... Last member, what are you talking about?" ID "I've spent years hunting down and extinguishing your family, I never thought I'd find the supposedly dead princess so far from home." VV "What have you done with my brother?!" ID "I'm not here to talk, you'll see him soon enough" At which point he charges in. Now, Ice devils get 3 attacks; first, a bite; 2d6+5 piercing AND 3d6 cold damage; second, Claws; 2d4+5 slashing AND 3d6 cold damage; lastly, tail; 2d6+5 bludgeoning AND 3d6 cold damage. The devil charges, hits me with it's tail, turns and bites me, and stabs it's claws into my heart. I fall to the ground, completely dead in one turn, with no chance to react. Then I am engulfed in a white light and as the light clears the devil sees me standing as though nothing had happened, maybe even looking better off than before; albeit slightly confused. VV "Um... What?" ID "WHAT?!?!??!" Tl;Dr; Character is one shot only to be magically brought to life with full HP, thanks to looting happenstance; much to the chagrin of the would-be killer.

[@magenstaffarts]

This one is from my Monday/Thursday group, and is fairly recent. The party finds who is supposed to be our leonin paladin Coal's father. That in and of itself was a "wait, what?!" But what happened next was EVEN MORE "wait, what?!?!" Coal, being wary of what is supposed to be a celestial leonin version of his father, wants him to grip onto his special sword, a Dragonkiller Sword. My half-elf sorceror, Pendragon, and the changeling rogue, Echo, notice something off. Echo heard an incantation, Pendragon felt magical energies. They put two-and-two together and realize something isn't right and voice this to Coal. Coal encourages the celestial leonin again, only for him to refuse, so Coal slashes at him with the sword, breaking the illusion and revealing that the so-called celestial leonin was actually an imperial dragon and an ancient dragon god.

[@lightningeyes100]

Had a campaign where i had a party commits a full on Heist against an Ancient Blue Dragon. They barely succeeded, and then provided the treasure to the Alchemist who hired them. He then guided them to his boss, the one who really provided the teleportation that came in clutch. Turns out the actual boss is an Ancient Gold Dragon, who thanked the party and explained that what they stole was a magic key that led to a lost dwarven library stored in an interdimensional space. He was a small cities Mayor and Black Market patron in one. He offered the party a position as the city protectors with full benefits and boons provided. After all they proved themselves capable of outsmarting a damn dragon. They agreed, one player multiclassed into Warlock with the Gold Dragon as his Patron. Others grabbed extra Feats. The Tiefling accepting Immunity to fire damage. Twice i forgot that. Twice he walked through a Wall Of Fire and a Fireball like a damn T1000.

[@N3bu14Gr4y]

An intelligent undead bane staff with some pretty powerful Threnodic metamagic enchantments called the Cane of Braindeath. It made wielders one step closer to true neutral while wielding it. The idea was to keep paladins from becoming too OP against the lich bbeg. It could be argued that an intelligent threnodic staff would be able to apply its effect to undead, so the disguised lich who ran an adventurers' guild to get first dibs on recovered artifacts ended up being, well, neutralized. Mind you, this was a _dread_ lich, which already has the Evil subtype. She ended up creating a new phylactory and using the old one to house her wickedness. After a very long "Wait, what?" moment, I decided her old phylactory (also a staff) would gain sentience and try to reunite with its mistress. The staff could already cast Astral Projection, meaning the dread lich's shade became the new bbeg.

[@glittch135]

I put my players in charge of a small farm hamlet with about 115(ish) NPCs. A nearby accident left them an additional 35(ish) survivors. The hamlets primary product was grains (of players choice.) Their rival was the nearby vampire lord who ran a tainted land full of elves and man. They proceeded to light the grain farms on fire, burning down the hamlet and driving the 150 refugees (not including children) into the vampire lords keep. Using the chaos as an excuse to raid, pillage, and storm the castle. To the proud boast of the paladin, not a single vampire survived. Or person in general...

[@lightninglj]

Pathfinder player here. If anyone's familiar with the slumbering tsar campaign. There is a section where you're out in the desolation investigating the ruins pf a caravan when our GM triggered an event where a dragon fell from the sky. Upon investigating it appeared wounded from battle. A perception check revealed that the wounds were merely superficial and couldn't have killed it. SO GUESS WHO GOT A VISIT FROM THE GOOD IDEA FAIRY TO HARVEST IT WITHOUT A FURTHER PERCEPTION CHECK!! He's got two thumbs and it's this guy. I cut it open and then GORE BEETLE SWARM. Nasty things, really. They burrow under the skin and eat you alive from the inside. My party had to set me on fire to kill the swarm. After the battle we harvested the dragon and it was noted that there were freshly laid gore beetle eggs. Did we destroy them? NOOOOOPE. I took them, weaponizing them against a greater basilisk that served as a body double for a dragon named old death. We took minimal damage and made short work with it thanks to these gore beetle eggs. It worked and my GM hates me. For several reasons.

[@johncameron1935]

So back in the day, I was running for four friends. One of those friends was playing this rogue that never really did anything, because the person playing him was always stoned and never really present in the game. Eventually the player left the game, but the character was still vital to the plot. I, as the DM, took the character over. However, I didn't want to run a DMPC. I figured, I could solve the problem of not wanting to run a DMPC with the problem of needing the character's plot relevance to come to a head. Thus, the plot to betray the rest of the party was formed. He was, as a rogue, in charge of a lot of the group's finances. Syphoning some of those finances away was easy enough, as well as a decent percentage of the incoming gold as well. When the party awoke from a long rest to find that the bag of holding used to carry the vast majority of their worldly possessions was gone, as was their rogue, I got a nice big "Wait, what?" from the party. ...Quickly followed by a lot of cursing, and a derailing of the current plot so that the rogue in question could be found and convinced to part with the gold and his head.

[@emmapicott449]

This is from my last couple of sessions with my group, which especially had my DM going 'wait...what?' 😹 So, it starts three sessions ago. Our werewolf member was missing (I think she had work or something?), so the DM came up with a filler session (note the words FILLER SESSION). Our campaign is a Viking/Roman setting in our world with magic. We made it work by jimmying history around a bit and setting London on permanent fire with a curse (we still haven’t gone anywhere near there, funnily enough). We come home from a previous mission to find the peasants of our town planning to go into the woods and water board a little old lady who they believed had killed two cows and cursed a newborn calf to be born with a second draconic head. Yup. It had two heads, one of which was a dragon's, thankfully with none of the abilities or sentience (sidenote, our town now has a budding dragon leather industry). We stopped the peasants from being dumb-dumbs (literally their only reason for aiming for her was that she was nearby when the calf was born and the other two cows died), and headed off to find the woman ourselves. Mother Ingrid, as she is now known, turns out to be a centuries old being who is the older sister of Cercei, the Greek sorceress. She did cause the two headed calf, but not the dead cows, that was the farmer not properly feeding his animals (our bear Druid intends on speaking to him later on, we haven’t gotten back to town yet). Why did she do it? She needed to speak to the Jyarl, one of our party members. Why did she need to speak to him? Oh, nothing much, but a century before she’d seen off an invasion from Sweden (we were based in Norway) with a monster that she’d made and then put to sleep under a nearby stone circle. Problem: said monster was now all grown up and also waking up. Could we be a bunch of dears, please, and do something about it for her? Note here: she never told us what, exactly, the monster was. Ok, we say, we’ll see what we can do, and head over to the circle. Our troll member is not the smartest in the book. He doesn’t bother even looking at the circle and seeing the sealing runes on the stones, he simply picks one up, tosses it to one side, and sits in the hole. This? BREAKS THE SEAL. Rumble rumble rumble. FREAKING TARRASQUE. Cue panic from the others. This is my second campaign and first tarrasque, so I go do we kill it and get met with a resounding NO, RUN NOW! GET IT AWAY FROM THE TOWN! At least my group cares enough for their people to not want them dead, right? Right?! So, I’m playing a tiefling bard called Athena, and as at this point we're lvl 17, she has the Anstruth Harp, which, thankfully, gives her the spell Fly. Our bear Druid is a celestial Druid, so she takes the form of a celestial golden dragon and carries everyone else ahead while I, stupidly, act as bait. A few fireballs to the tarrasque's face, a very well rolled snatch and grab of a farmer and his wife who were in our pathway followed by an equally well toss of the same over a portal to the astral plane (not to mention our wizard getting said portal freaking OPEN), and we had the darn thing away from our town. Where to next? Tarrasque is still following me, and we can’t leave it in the astral plane, that would be BAD. Who do we have beef with? The Roman Empire. Who were, earlier in the campaign, stealing from the ley line that keeps our town alive. We dealt with that and sealed that portal. Only now, we needed it open again, and my Fly spell is wearing off. Bear/dragon Druid zooms off just as I roll really well to land on her back, wizard again gets portal open (which was under the sea, thank duck for druids), we zoom through and tarrasque follows. Tarrasque goes on rampage in Rome itself. We fly off to Sicily to start getting components for things we need to face the BBEG, leaving the tarrasque to fun times. The DM notes here, and I think the others have forgotten, that the Romans are able to deal with the tarrasque, but that the emperor is sufficiently maddened enough that he will send his army to deal with us and our little town. He’s laughing and going 'wtf, I did not think you’d deal with it like this' the others are going hahaha that was a good session and my Athena is just pure 😐 'I need a break.' This was ONE SESSION. The next, we rocked up in Sicily, got what we needed, and then headed for Athens next, where we were greeted by the priests of the temple and the local nobles. They put us up for the night, we kill an undead fleet that tries to destroy the city, and my bard gets laid. By Zeus. The God. DM makes me roll a pregnancy check. 47. 'Hmm, that’s interesting!' .... why...? Nope, not saying. Safe to say, Athena is preggers. Great. I missed the next session, so I only know what happened from what the group told me, but essentially, I stayed with Zeus for 'relaxation' while the group went for the next part we needed. That session's fight is against a black dragon. They are given a cursed sword to deal with it. The sword contains TYPHON, the father of all monsters, who just happens to have a beef with... who’d have guessed it... ZEUS. And he gets free of the sword. Deals with the dragon in one hit, and goes after Zeus. Who I’m still with. Joy? Cut to this week's session. The DM starts with Typhon's arrival in Athens. What am I doing? I’m using my harp to cast invisibility and grabbing my clothes while Zeus starts in on Typhon, that’s what (my clothes are +3 leather armour, and I have an AC of 18 WITH THEM ON, I ain’t facing nothing naked 😹). The others arrive, I’m now dressed and reappearing going "TF DID YOU DO?!" "Nothing! Why do you assume we did something?" 😐 Because I know you chuckleheads too darn well, that’s why (DM nearly had me roll a PTSD check on it). So we join the fight, and we, in a single round, land over a 1000 points of damage. DM: you’re just helping Zeus hang in there! (Rolls) uhhh... Zeus drops dead. Hey guys, guess what happens when Typhon Nat crits? Rest of us: ... do we want to know? DM: probably not, to be fair. Hey, anyone know Resurrection? Me. I do. It’s one of my two 7th lvl spells, the other of which is Regenerate (came in handy a while back when I lost my leg to a demon, too). Typhon is taking off, so I cast it on Zeus. Now, Resurrection works by calling the deceased's soul back to their body. DM: Doesn’t work. There’s no soul to call back. It’s almost like something’s taken it... Me: 😐 Something meaning Typhon. That’s what happens when he crits, he absorbs your soul. DM: Yup! Oh, btw, the entire pantheon of Greek Gods is appearing and wants to know what happened. Athena, you’re being glared at by Hera. Me: (hides behind Thunk, our troll, lets the others explain) Gods: Ok, we gotta deal with this guy, let’s go. (Gives us all a long rest) We set out, with the gods letting us ride in their chariots. Thankfully, Athena let my Athena ride with her so they could talk spinning and weaving (cue my group going 'don’t brag about your skills, we don’t want to deal with you turning into a spider monster!' Nope, no way, my Athena knows better and outright says the goddess is far superior to her in skill, she just wants to talk about something she enjoys with someone else who also enjoys it for once). Eventually, we reach a cave, where Typhon is looming over his wife, Echidna, about to, uh, do the deed... with a glowing orb attached to his thing that the DM states is ZEUS'S SOUL. Cue panic from everyone involved. Our bear/dragon Druid (she became able to switch freely between the two forms after flying into the astral plane as her dragon self) tackles Typhon. One of the others removes Echidna's strength, and she essentially flops like a fish (the image our DM showed us was of a reeeeaaally icky creature that had no legs) someone else makes a block in front of her so Typhon can’t get it in and I... dive in front of the orb. Which disappears inside me. A couple more rolls, and the Gods start shoving the two back to their prisons, as per Ancient Greek lore. And my belly is very rapidly swelling. As the DM puts it, I am going through nine months of pregnancy, in nine minutes. Joy. Cue our Druid going 'someone boil some water and find some towels!'. Thankfully, they weren’t needed because all was chaos at this point, and I give birth to two healthy boys. One of which is Zeus (ofc) and the other is our son. Now, I, thinking I’m being clever, name him Vasileios, which in Greek means 'King'. I was thinking king of the people. My group immediately go 'he’s gonna revolt against the gods and his dad!' 😐 Oh, gods, what have I done? So, the session ended there, our DM announces this is now all part of Greek lore in the campaign, and we’re all given a godly boon each as thanks. I’m seriously considering using mine to make sure Hera can’t touch me or my newborn son at the moment, but we’ll see. Oh, and we hit lvl 19. We’ve had some crazy sessions before, but this one really took the cake, with moments such as 'can I create a dragon shaped and sized condom that I can wear so Zeus doesn’t get me preggers, too?' from our Druid. At one point, our DM had to mute himself (all of this was over Discord) so he could recompose himself before continuing, which... he hasn’t done before, so that kinda says a lot about that session. 😹 Anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far, and if anyone’s interested in another 'wait... what?' story... there’s the poop cannon one I can relate from my first campaign with these guys. 😹😹😹

[@Ceracio]

Don't know whether this counts, but everyone certainly did say "wait wtf" so I guess it should. Context: Pseudo-D&D in the Dragon Age world (Thedas) with a few modified rules (ability scores are Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Magic, Will and Cunning, etc.) to be closer to the games. Party comprised of a Human Grey Warden Templar, Dwarf Warrior, Elf Ranger and, most importantly for this story, a Human Mage specialised in Elemental magic (which is Fire and Ice in Dragon Age). Party ends up fighting what turns out to be an undead abomination (demon possessing the corpse of a mage), in this case a Shapeshifter who was under Bear form when he died. The demonbear had adapted to its surroundings (died at a mountaintop) and had used the little magic it had to shape itself an armor of ice and snow. So picture a huge bear skeleton with flesh made of ice and fur made of snow. Now any sane elemental mage, when seeing this thing, would think "huh, undead are weak to fire, ice is weak to fire, the Templar's Fire-enchanted sword seems to be doing some good damage, let's thow some fireballs and stuff at it". The trouble is, our mage was NOT sane. Mage - "I'm gonna cast Cone of Cold" Ranger - "What? Why? You realise that [Templar] is standing right in front of it and is gonna get hit too, right? Mage - "Yeah but he's resistant to Magic, it'll be fine, I'm casting Cone of Cold." DM - "Okay, roll for damage." Mage - "34" DM - "[Templar], you take 25 damage. As your wave of Ice magic washes over the beast, you slowly see the cracks in its ice armor closing, and it bellows as its strength returns" (next turn) Mage - "Well, Cone of Cold didn't seem to work..." Dwarf, pretending to whisper - "Psssssst, cast Wall of Flames or something!" Mage - "Hmmmm.... I'm gonna cast Blizzard" Templar, facepalming - "You know what, I'm gonna use my Intervention feat to cast Purify on our Mage to silence her for two turns before she can act." DM, leaning back on his chair and crossing his fingers - "I'll allow it." This is also the same person who thought that casting Firestorm in the middle of a forest would be a good idea. The Templar later took to using his first turn to silence her whenever the combat situation was too dangerous to allow use of Fire or Ice. She still managed to cast Chain Lightning on a single enemy surrounded by 5 allies wearing plate armor at one point though... Basically a walking "wtf man"'.

[@silent_stalker3687]

“Share fate” Player has 1 death save left and is at 0 health. Fate share makes it where in theory you you can’t die until the person you share your fate with runs out of death saves. Basically you can fail 5 death saves and when the spell falls with no HP your character dies unless they get at least 1 HP left. Poison character. Poison immune character shares fate and cures the poison. BBEG: captures players using paralyze. Player uses share fate on the BBEG’s patron. BBEG banishes his own patron to hell as a means to wipe one character off since he emotes demonic energy- not aware that it was his patron which would be immune to death of the PC died- not of they were sent to hell.

[@dajmo2369]

So I was DMing a party of 6, but the only important one for the story is our level 5 totem (bear) barbarian goliath named Thulliagar. The party was exploring an ancient cathedral with an ton of golems protecting it from thief’s (they would only activate if something was stolen or if attacked) and right as our mage historian was telling the party how those statues worked the barbarian proceeded to attack one of them, causing a massive fight and almost a TPK (nobody died, but 3 of the 6 were knocked unconscious before the party managed to flee).

[@Jynnifer]

When playing a friend's home brew campaign we were off in another dimension who little to no resources after the city in our world had been attacked. I brought in a second character Named Malik who is what we call a Necrokin. An elbino elf race that tends to specialize in necromancy. I got really lucky with rolling for his stats and couldn't have possibly ended up being anymore of what I hoped for. As a level 2 I split him into a warrior, and a spellcaster. He is also mutated so he is 7ft 9 and a strong yet lean 280ish lbs. This character also dresses in layers of robes and a large hood sense most hate his kind or anyone associated with necromancy. When fighting he uses a two handed war hammer and though he has brute strength his intelligence is equal. After our party found him captive in this enemy fortress he joins our company. After a battle I have him go around to heal everyone using the 1st level spell called Healing Touch. Once my DM said that everyone but Malik is healed I simply responded. "Hmmmm, OK. Then I will have him Healing Touch himself." It wasn't until I heard myself say those words did nearly the entire group went. "Wait what?"

[@Ryu_D]

My kobold rogue was ransacking a general store when he heard some guards outside, searching for him. I asked the DM if I had enough time to put together a disguise, and he said I could roll for it. I end up rolling a 4, definitely not enough to succeed, but also not so little that he wouldn't have put something together, so I get the DM's permission to say that in his haste, my none-too-bright kobold decided that the best disguise he could possibly put together, was a cape and hood that made him look exactly like... *Drum roll* A kobold! Yes. My kobold disguised himself, as himself, thinking that he could later ditch the costume, and pretend that someone was framing him. Perhaps the best part, and the part that fits with this video, is when the guard who sees him exiting the store says, "Look! There he is! It's a kobold! Wait, no, no, it's still a kobold." In utter bafflement, because no one expects the kobold in a kobold costume! XD

[@zirohnull1133]

We were up against one of our DM's homebrew beasties, a Dragon imbued with the power of an ancient artifact, the last one we needed to be able to forge our end game gear so we can fight the BBEG who is a god. In our bag of holding we had trophies we carved out of the bodies previous underlings of the BBEG. The dragon stopped time, consumed the BBEG's power that we had no idea was hidden within the trophies we had taken and grew to the size of the battlefield and used suggestion to get almost every member of the party to flee the battle. (long story short we used conjure woodland beings to summon enough pixies to burn through his legendary resistances and polymorph him into a smaller creature that fell down a hole in the center of the battlefield from which he had emerged. He took a ton of fall damage and then returned to it's gigantic form, which got him stuck at the bottom of the hole. We still haven't completed the battle but damn was it an awesome 'wait... what?' moment both on the DM's part for throwing that at us and on our part for actually being able to do something like that to him.)

[@dragonsoul123]

I might have posted this already. My player was supposed to proof his loyalty to a cult he was infiltrating. Theyh told him to kill an important guy in front of them. He proceeds to fake the other's death succesfully and didn't think about the fact that this was a dragon worshiping cult with a young dragon chained up next doors... So my player decided to bluff: "You know... He isn't exactly ugly and it would be a shame not to use this opportunity..." he managed his persuasion roll. The NPC survived. The PC's reputation however.... Well. At least his group doesn't ask how he did that.

[@begollyawm8439]

I really only ever played D&D twice, and not for very long, I was a half human half sudo-dragon. This was about 18 years ago so I don't remember much, but this stuck out. At the start of the campaign, our group came across a guy selling a horse, the dm was very show boaty about the horse saying it was one of the best we can find for a low low price. Not wanting to be swindled, as I was about to buy I I asked if it could spit! Merchant: "Why yes infact it can on comand!" and showed it spiting at a tree. So I buy the horse. We travel through some woods for a bit and the Dm asked what we do, My cousin says he looks for any hidden paths, another player searches to see if there are any signs and when it gets to me :D I target my cousin and shout Spit!! the dm has me roll and it was the first nat 20 ever. The DM says my horse rears its head back while gargling anx unleashes a stream of spit so powerful it knocks my cousin off his horse and he hits his head taking one point of blunt damage! God I never laughed so hard just picturing it.

[@velnoa]

We’d just finished the last battle in a labyrinth, one of us had died and me and two others were unconscious. Two remaining players are looking around the nearby room, and DM makes us do a con save. Roll a 9 DM: You’re dead. They let out a wilo wisp that came through and killed me and the other two. Survived a fight against shadow copies of ourselves, a minotaur, shadows, dozens of traps,just to die like that

[@JacobL228]

We beat the BBEG's henchman and handed him over to the guards to be locked up in the town's jail. When we went to interrogate him after being gone from town for a few days for some reason (I don't remember what; we left town a lot), we found him in a posh cell full of fancy furniture, expensive food, and aged wine; think Al Capone's cell in Alcatraz. After interrupting his meal and getting nowhere with him with our questioning, our warlock tried to use Suggestion on him, but his bad acting gave away the fact that he passed the save and the spell had no effect. Our ranger then decided to tie up and gag him and use the wine to set the whole jail on fire, killing the henchman. After we got the ill-equipped guards to safety and made sure the jail was empty, I reminded him that the town was in the middle of an economic recession and the food and wine in that cell could have helped. He said something along the lines of "well, too late now", and we rarely spoke of that incident again. The weirdest part was that this was an isolated incident; he was usually the most level-headed of our group.

[@FerreTrip]

Getting kicked out of a game due to an out-of-game blowup, coming back a bit over 5 months later, and finding out that my character, who the DM did NOT simply kill off, _was a freaking dragon the whole damn time_

[@lechking941]

Hau good news your now working agenst the party. Bad news they are hunting you down

[@AidanWR]

Not really sure if this counts, but in our current campaign, when we were wrapping up our session 0, our DM misspoke and said, "canonical fox." I caught it and mentioned it and it became a meme. Two sessions later, we meet the canonical fox (which is a different animal per person). We still haven't figured out the relevance of it

[@michaelleader633]

I was playing a knight of the realm of a kingdom that loved its lawful evil status way too much. Now, the term for an evil paladin is a parymander which has no significance to the story except for the fact the dm was a real meticulous sob; the sort that covers every angle. The King was a cross dresser, the princess was into killing defenceless creatures, the high preceptor of my own faith contorted with ethereal beings, the bishop was into heavy kink, the queen was about as faithful to her king as a rabid owlbear, and the ministers were charitable. Wait. What? 😆

[@jesternario]

My best moment wasn't a wait what? it was a "You do what now?" Running a game of Exalted. Players were going across the ocean to find a palace. An enemy attacked them, and they won, but the ship's sails were burned to nothing. Not wanting to get in the rowboat look for a place to fix the sails or trade for new ones, the group's mage summoned a demon and said "take us to Malpheas." I just look at him and say "You do what now?" I then had to stop the game early because I had to go map out hell so they could go and continue the adventure.

[@The_AuraMaster]

I stole an enemy's Rapier and he proceeded to pull out a butter knife and fight with that.

[@spookieboogi6161]

When In doubt yeet a baby creature at it has a 75% depending on your rolls

[@hubfuxer482]

In my very first Campaign I had 5 Friends Play a Lovecraftian Homebrew. Two of my Players, Rogue and Sorcerer, wanted to have fun with the guide (he was allready going Insane), so they said that he had to go into the Bag of Holding of the Rogue. After 3 bad roles of mine for the guide and 3 rols of wich 2 were nat 20s, the guide was banished to the bag of holding. Amd choked. They still carry his corpse without knowing. I think they propably forgot they even have him.

[@sabliath9148]

Khemmy... just Khemmy. In a Pathfinder game I played a while back, in one town we visited we met a weird and very creepy shopkeeper named Khemmy. we still did business with him, and then move on to the port town. There, with we were bargaining for potential passage on a ship, we heard a commotion outside. We went e see what was happening, and learned that a dragon had just swooped in and attacked the town. Then we heard that creepy laugh, and turned to see Khemmy. it turns out the dragon stole his shop... as in it stole the entire shop. One quest across the land later arrived at the dragon's lair. the entrance was locked, but there was a large flat stone with the word 'Unwelcome' written on it in Draconic. we moved the stone aside and found the key. A mix of fight and talking our way past the dragon's kobold servants later, we found the dragon itself. After defeating it, we search its hoard, and among the other random junk as Khemmy's shop... with Khemmy himself stepping out the the door. I still don't know what exactly Khemmy was, but he was most definitely not what he appeared to be.

[@koopaking6148]

Oh God I actually laughed at the poisonous pickle for a spine one...

[@McBlokeados]

A mage, in front of a gigantic slime, in an arsenal room full of gunpowder kegs, transmuted the gunpowder back into salt and sulfur, then proceed to poison the slime by kicking the keg rack so that the barrels would roll into the slime. The dm proceed to admit his defeat by stating "great, you have killed the dungeon boss like it was a snail... you better be happy!"

[@oddangelx4420]

Halfway through a session I rolled highest in perception, so I was the only party member who noticed we were being followed..... by a very happy shark puppy with legs. High insight check and he's not going to attack us, so I don't do anything. As we are packing up to leave, I ask the dm about it, as we haven't heard anything about it for a while. After rolling a few dice, I hear a 'rar!' This puppy-sized land shark has been on my head for half a session. I'm not even one of the party's two? Druids(one was unable to come that day though)

[@Bentron88]

A wait wut moment? I got one! Not in Dungeons and Dragons though. It was in Paranoia, but it’s a table top rpg with a game master so it counts! Quick note before I begin: in Paranoia there are no revival spells and technically no death saves. Instead every character has six clones, aka lives, before permanently dying. So yeah, the grim reaper has much better job security. Also the world is set in an underground facility controlled by an AI computer controlled by the GM. Ya good? Okay moving on! It was close to the beginning of a new campaign and the party was tasked by the computer to figure out why one part of the facility was losing power. One player wanted to figure out what a prototype piece of technology they were handed at the beginning of the campaign did so they did an investigation check on the object, despite being told by a superior to not take it apart. Rolled a 6, needed a 10. To everyone surprise the device started to play the national anthem of the facility. The prototype technology was an actually old fashioned cassette player and the player, in his clumsy attempt to figure out how it worked, had pressed the play button. Normally what you are supposed to do when you hear the anthem is sing along, but one new player didn’t know this so didn’t sing, and I got the words wrong. Also the DM played the computer like it was a hybrid between Hal 9000 and GlaDOS. Needless to say the computer called for the deaths of all three of us. Hoping to not lose a clone right at the beginning the dummy who investigated the tape player called out “I try to appease the computer with my boot licking skills!” At that moment three rubber boots sitting on velvet cushions on the end of robotic arms extended out of the wall. The three of us did a boot licking skill check... and I got a Nat 1. Game Master: As you lean over and stick your tongue, you accidentally strain your tongue, causing all of the blood vessels in your tongue to burst. You bleed out all over the boot and promptly die. The computer then deadpan quotes the Knight from Indiana Jones “He licked... Poorly.”

[@ga6257]

That cat turned into a pickle spine. Pickle spiiine morty!!!

[@marcoanghinetti7938]

Am I the only one knowing that some of the background music is from the album "The boy who flew away"?

[@marclytle644]

That last one, meow that is a great ending.

[@arcalyte4905]

i lost it at the cat with a poison pickle spine

[@TheDoctorOfThrills]

This was my first character I'm 5e. I'm a paladin with a 20 in STR, but so far I've spent the game mostly focused on healing (I was still learning the game and for some reason it was just easier than hitting things myself). Until a succubus comes around and I start actually piecing together what I can do as a paladin. I have the wise idea to unmask the succubus with a Moonbeam, then when combat started, I rolled the top of the round. I charge up a 3rd level wrathful smite and when I hit her, I let loose the other 3rd level spell slot I have. It was a lot of d8s rolled and my DM still hasnt gotten over me one-shotting her arc boss.

[@yearnie4207]

Players clean out a room that has a big glowing portal in the middle with glyphs around the edge. They jump in. And die. A simple examination would show it’s a disintegrating portal. The door was to the left. Luckily home rule saved it

[@marcusreading3783]

I think mine was when we accidentally summoned a god-like Ancient Black Dragon thanks to a random burst of wild magic. Then the berk who caused the burst decided to lie to the ten ton magical lizard. This was three sessions in and, naturally, we lost two characters in a rather impressive bit of roleplaying and an actual acceptable use of the phrase 'its what my character would do'. Badass as hell.

[@nachoquesoso947]

We were playing a normal group of humans DnD but enetering a cursed full of mist forest on the middle of the night and finding a Big creepy abandoned-looking mansión that the entrance had a plank with the text "speak and be forgotten from this Life", so everyone kept silence for the entire adventure, an Old buttler came out of the house and asked us if we wanna come in, One fríen talked and his Soul came out of his body.. The buttler then swallows his Soul and ask us to enter, then guide us at the dinning hall, we sit and after a few moments, some plates with bread appeard and me and another friend started to eat the bread, then a mystical old bald white skinned Lord appeard on the end of the table and speak to us, he suddenly scream at us that were eating the bread before the dinner came in, i decided to try a Lucky shot that makes the Lord smell the bread and convince him that it was way to Good to ignore it and eat it, i get a nat20 and the GM says Wait... What?.. After a seconds of silence he grabs a Piece of bread and eat it, After clearing his troath he says to his buttler "give my appreciation to the chef skill" 😂😂😂

[@shadexvii3975]

That warlock patron one…that’s so evil

[@johithestar414]

Oh i got one! (Same chaotic good alchemist) My party god captured by some bandits Dm:u r tied by a strong leather belts And so.. A bandit leader(female) approaches our party paladin and says: Well hello there armored boy.. Don't u remember me? Paladin:uh no? Bandit leader:haha so i will tel- Me:I PUKE REMAINS OF MY INVISIBILITY POTION AND DRINK IT Table:... Wat Dm:... Ok? Roll for con Me:24 Dm:.... U become invisible.. What do u do? Me:well i untie myself and then make everybody on our party invisible Dm:ok roll Me:nat 20 Dm:...... Ok so what do u guys do? Around 30minutes later we captured the bandit leader and we interogated her and paladin's "relationship" But thats another story

[@jefferson745]

how to write cool text in youtube by jefferson 1. single (_ at both ends) 2. single (- at both ends) 3. single (* at both ends) 4. single (combine 1 and 2) 5. single (combine 1 and 3)

[@taekwonditto]

I’m currently DMing my first ever campaign with my friends, and for context we tried playing DnD before while one of those friends tried to DM for us. And I played a Tiefling rogue named Vladimir (will be important later). So in this session, I call session 0 so we get an introduction of the characters and plot, the Elf Ranger, Ashlynn, gets robbed of all of her money, and asks the other players to help her search for the thief. Then our Water Gensai fighter, Manyulin, finds and questions a cloaked old man to see if he knows anything about this thief, to which they all assume to be the same man they saw in scattered wanted posters. The old man, then tells the fighter, intimidated him to follow him with the other players. The players than follow the old man into a small hand made shack, to which the old man uncloaks himself to be, who else, but good ol Vladimir. The players freak out about it as I just have a huge grin on my face. Oh but there’s more. The main quest line revolves around Vladimir, and he wants the players to help him steal all of the most valuable treasures from each and every town in their continent. Not only did I surprise the players with having a full map made with in a few days of preparing, but I also surprise them in having to be thieves the main quest and not just a weird side quest. The last surprise to them is when I revealed the name of the campaign to be; Thieve’s Quest Wether or not the players will come out of this as heros or villains is still in the works

[@bradymenting5120]

my brother's first campaign that he ran he made the mistake of telling us to "find a way to level up", thinking we'd do side quests until we were strong enough to venture into the forest of darkness. nope. the party started a communist revolution in the town and used the distraction to raid the local garrison for its strong magic weapons and armors, then we bounced when the army showed up and summarily executed everyone. in the very next town my party ruined a relationship, broke up a band, drove the main lute player to suicide then amputated his arms to prevent him from actually killing himself. In another campaign my character personally started a war between humans and elves in an scheme to abduct goblins to be used as suicide bombers that spiraled out of control very quickly and ended with blowing up a mansion and killing 50+ people including the entire party.

[@jamesmills8167]

I once cast shape the flowing river on the BBEG's legs and arms crumpling them and letting the others kill him and keeping my no direct killing streak (on the first time seeing the BBEG while we were being brought to a prison witch we would normally have to escape)

[@jamesmills8167]

I then killed all of the party and became the new BBEG

[@yuanchang2306]

THE "ROGUE" and I love all the great works you are doing.

[@pulsefel9210]

i swear they wrote rouge so many times just to see how much youd say it.

[@davemakesnoises]

They're not invited to my birthday party

[@Sakura07715]

Im not sure if this is a "wait what" moment but my party had just won a combat and were looting around a house and people were joking about mimics and to be careful, well one of the players said "come on you're being silly a mimic cant be a door" as they tried to open the door and got their hand stuck inside a mimic.

[@russdarracott395]

Hahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha!!!!! @ the last story.

[@TerminalSports45]

On that last one, the GM should have anticipated something like that (though I expected the druid to become a cat himself), he can't be mad that a fatal flaw in the BBEG was exploited so hilariously.

[@cyberhawk4284]

Had an entire game require heavy re write when my players asked to join the bbeg after accidentally killing an old woman

[@Oddball80]

Definatly had a moment like this. I'm currently doing a one shot mega adventure. The party consists of a Golioth monk, furblog werewolf druid, furblog rouge, teifling warlock, human artificer and elven druid. Somehow they managed to get into a scenario where they were chasing after a thief in a ice cave in the far north sliding around on the ice with a blanket like a bobsled. The monk is in front the rouge and the furblog druid turned bear in the middle and the teifling on the end witha half frozen butt as he's using his tail to steer. the artificer has somehow been bowled over and is currently holding onto the golioths face for dear life and the elf druid is handing off the back of the bear. They had rocketed out of the ice caves and they all landed in a gigantic snowdrift causing a small avalanche killing the thief in the process. Somehow the dice gods were with them and they survived the avalanche and recovered the stolen object. Everyone just had the look of wtf just happened meanwhile atleast four other members (including myself) are struggling to keep it togeather at the sheer ridiculousness of the entire scenario.

[@u45uify]

"here lies BBEG, he hugged a cat"

[@TheDragonLordOfPunz]

That final one got me like "Wait what?" I hope my players never doi this to me(they probably will)

[@inky5574]

Ok so in our 2nd of a 6 campaign story, the party were hired by an adventurer named DS to retrieve a powerful and magical heirloom of the royal family, a crown. We had issues with the crown and it was a big goose chase involving goblins and two mischievous women taking it from us. It all ends when we confront the two and it turns out that DS was there and he fought us and we also fought the two women. We killed DS and found out that he didn't trust us to get the crown so he hired the two women and when he didn't trust them he hired the goblins that took the crown as well. So basically the majority of things that went wrong was all because of him.

[@samus20018]

This is why we don't give the BBEG cat allergies. Go Whiskers go.

[@leguan278]

“Rip ass-ked” lol