Dark Souls and Depression

I promise we'll venture back into Dark Souls for the next video, this video is important to me.
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[@TheGoldenGearRule]

Be safe, friend. Don't you dare go hollow.

[@faris3727]

Niko Nine that’s a line I keep in my head whenever I’m going through these problems

[@RadioRed96]

@Niko nine this is my favorite qoute from Dark souls just, i cant even explain Why it is just so heartwarming.

[@coreydaprince]

That line makes me tear up

[@derrickflores8628]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/o6GVaX2GqJdom80

[@1893Mauser]

From the state of Washington. No matter what you have. It will never be enough. I've been trying my hardest to do well on just a little less than enough.

[@nullw8768]

Dark Souls teaches you to be brave. To laugh at the immense, the frightening, and the unknown.

[@nattycatty8162]

I'm brave enough to take on CCS users and I get ecstatically happy when I defeat them in duels haha

[@Carcaroff87]

crestfallens don't help though, the first time i talked to the one in Majula, with that track in the background, i wanted to take his hand and jump off the cliff.

[@somedudewithanappleonhisfa6819]

minus the dancer. I freakin hate her.

[@JazielVH]

And to farm a lot of souls if you can't overcome an obstacle so you can level up enough to easily overcome everything. Also that if you can not do it even if you're over prepared you can bring someone that can solve the problems for you so you can continue with your life.

[@ashtongrey6755]

null w yur comment made me immsensly sad kinda because I imagined a hollow trying his hardest to laugh and keep calm at the soul of cinder but he's clearly losing the battle and he just breaks down more and more and his faces turns into a grimace of fear and tears as he goes on and than he is finally beheaded by the boss opposer

[@GrubHuncher]

Depression is like Dark Souls without the boss battles. Just an endless trudge through Blighttown which gets increasingly harder with less reward.

[@mornmorn4367]

Erik they should make it a boss

[@allew7646]

Erik Main difference you can't summon for it.

[@sebbie_gonzo]

At least the frame rate is better IRL. 🤣

[@quaggsin6082]

Might not have a boss, but there a brief moments of light, an item, a funny message, maybe even a bonfire. We can’t be sure we’ll ever get out of blightown but if we give up don’t keep moving we definitely won’t.

[@samuelgabriel7077]

I had an accident a few years ago and... my girlfriend died infront of me. and that completly shatterd my life... directly after the accident i was nearly insane. and after a few months i started gaming more and it helped me out of this hole. today i still suffer under depression and an addiction to videogames. i think it is good that you talk open about these kind of problems and more people should do it. i just wanted to share a part of my story

[@elwen9477]

Stay strong bro

[@tayyebmahmood7207]

Im addicted to videogames to but its due to being bullied and dtruggling in college as people use me for my kindness and support as well as make fun of me IN college so they stay happy while i have no friends...i come back from college and start playing games non stop to forget everything tht happened.

[@Tenebris8444]

Don’t go hollow and stay strong bud

[@splinterborn]

@@tayyebmahmood7207 I'm addicted to games and drugs. Have been for years your not alone. 3 years since your comment. I hope your doing OK.

[@vrapbrap]

Multiple layers of irony, memes and turning mental health issues into a joke helped me more than therapy did, but like any form of escapism and such, its going to bite you in the arse sooner or later, glad I have some people online to have those "real talks" with. Definitely worth giving counseling and such a shot, especially if its free, there is no harm in trying. Having a serious talk about things from time to time does good to people, no matter mild or severe their issues might be. Even the mildest things can blow up to be massive problems if you dont deal with things early on so dont you dare feel ashamed of things and avoid help when you need it.

[@iLLixer]

Self ridicule oddly works at time, but should be treated with a grain of salt because If the ones near you know you do this they'll in turn do the same with you because its a type awkward in the moment type thing where they only know that puts a smile on your face. And could inadvertently hurt you on a deeper level that you haven't figured out yet.

[@whalelord7977]

iLLixer I totally agree

[@akkabouzz6472]

Over here in The Netherlands everything from medication to counseling to a therapist to even beeing taken into the psychiatric ward is completely covered by basic health insurance (100% of dutch people have health insurance since its mandatory by law) which is a great thing. Because of a heart attack my dad developed a severe fear of going outside and especially going outside by himself. He got 70% of his monthly income from his job and everything healthcare wise was free. Thank god we in The Netherlands have one of the best health insurances in the whole world

[@solairethesun6391]

I can really respect what you're doing here. This is a serious problem and it definitely needs to be talked about more often. I might not have had it as rough as many others but in my youth i was almost always down and sad and I never really experienced any joy or happiness at all. And now when I'm older and I look back to my youth it's pretty clear that I had some form of anxiety. I'm really happy to see that there is at least someone who speaks about these things and I really respect you for that.

[@solairethesun6391]

it really means a lot to hear someone talk about these things.

[@JohnSmith-op3qj]

And now we shall praise the sun! For the fallen! For the ones rising! For the conquerors of their own adversities! \[T]/ *praising intensifies*

[@sukhkaur5697]

SolaireTheSun Why did you set yourself on fire.Please reply

[@UltimaHeartless]

It's like getting a Sunbro to help you beat a boss. They're not going to invade your world and help you out, you gotta call them to it to help you.

[@stoneymaloney2416]

your honesty raises my respect for you immensely, thank you for putting these videos up

[@BossDrSample]

Exactly.

[@mitchl6896]

Hi Paragon, I've only just discovered your channel, but I'm glad that I did. You've really opened my eyes as to what this community really is and how it could be even better in the future. I believe that while Dark Souls has been around for quite a bit of time now, the community is experiencing a resurgence that is quite unique when compared to other KZbin communities. At the moment, the new wave of channels (lore-hunters especially it seems) have garnered the attention of a very positive and eager group of viewers who love the work that is done when it is done right. Over the several videos of yours I have watched, I can look at this community in a way I had not before. It makes me glad to be a part of something so great. I think you've also shown how this community can also be a support network for those having a tough time, and that's really important in this day and age. Thank you for your efforts Paragon, and stay strong.

[@DonutSwordsman]

That made me so happy to hear from another KZbinr I look up to. You guys are both really awesome you both and others inspire me to this day and be creative. It's cheesy but this game really has brought people together and really is one of the best communities.

[@Nasaratsu]

Having depression, is like this. You grow up to see the world around you is full of sorrow and darkness, everyone lives like a zombie slaves walking by. You feel all the pain of the world, and you want to scream just to wake everyone up. You want things to be different because you know they could be. But nobody cares. So you fight. You fight again'st everything the system throws at you trying to turn you into a hollow. And you care, too much, but all the fighting keeps destroying you inside. But you can't stop fighting back. And so you do it, with no other option. And little by little you give up. You stop caring. You let your guard down to get hit, just so you feel something, because pain is all you can feel. So you end up hating yourself. What happen to that young me full of hope and strenght? Did I let them win? Why didn't I try hard enough? (But I tried everything). Now I just feel like I deserve this. And so we fall, in the deepest hole one can imagine. Your fears constantly hauting you, demons in your head. The abyss. The endless numb nights. Looking for something that isn't there. You don't even remember how you got there, and it doesn't matter. So you do anything just to keep the thoughts away. You see others just like you fallen in the battlefield, reflections of your destiny reminding you, You Are Done. So you have to choose. Throw your sword and shield away and let the darkness take you, or keep going, even if it destroys you. For me, that's what kept me going. I did not want to give up my flame. And in places like this, I found others in the same journey. We got together and laughed at the face of death, because we faced things worse then it. We now could take all the pain, the anger and use it as our fuel. Truly the most terrifying adversarie you can fight, is your own Dark Soul. DON'T YOU DARE GO HOLLOW! KEEP GOING WE'RE ALMOST THERE!

[@jemijohnson257]

Have an EPIC day to anyone reading and know that you're NEVER ALONE. Mad props for you continuing this great video as always God Bless You.

[@knightcheyson]

Thank you. \`|T| /

[@BossDrSample]

Thank you.

[@sarutan8san]

"the strongest relationship that you could have, is with yourself" ...just thank you.

[@luiz_paninis]

I am so happy you are doing this. Some people feel like they don't have anyone to talk to. I'm am glad you are showing this whole community that they have people to talk to. Not just you, but specialists and people who have dealt with depression and anxiety.

[@RavenWarrior90]

This is sort of epic... don't know how else to describe that. I always thought of me as a lonesome wanderer on a quest to find his fortune... wandering through barren wastelands, full of enemies... full of despair, sorrow, pain, treason and death. Life is like hell! And we are the soldiers desperately fighting through all odds. Videogames offer such perfect symbolism... perfectly describes what's going on inside your heart and mind... constant struggle. Not everything is lost though even if it constantly feels like that and I have a hard time saying that. As we all know, depression leads to extensive amounts of negative thinking and it's SO DAMN HARD to shrug it off! But... I am much more like a Space Marine, more specifically a Blood Angel (Warhammer 40.000)... strong in belief, undying will and afraid of NOTHING! But still capable of feeling extensive amounts of pain... and just like any Marine, I also struggle to not succumb to evil as hate and rage is overcoming me from time to time like the "black rage". Dark Souls is not the only universe that describes depression so well. I dislike this world... it is full of war, full of pain and only the intelligent and wise will be able to see and understand it as we do. I have a deep understanding how dark this world is and it's hard to keep sanity to be honest... to find the strenght to go on and on even knowing that everything you do is probably for nothing. What others don't know or don't care about may be certain fact for people like us, because we reflected about this world so damn often like nobody else ever did (without such mental issues). In fact we are all going to die one day... so all collected wealth is for nothing, all future related plans are for nothing because nothing is eternal... the only important thing is to make the best out of everything that you have right now! At least try to do that as best as you possibly can! For some people out there, even this is impossible... and they still keep living and THAT'S what I call iron will! We get ill... because of a reason. The ideology, our values... our very lifestyle and expectations of life that we already had from early childhood... so many bad unhealthy things have been branded (brainwashed) into our minds from the very beginning. It's no surprise that some people go down to their knees eventually... those who are capable of feeling too much cannot stand all this crap for long... it hurts them as they see what's constantly going wrong in this world. Only the dumb und deaf won't feel that pain, they are even happy as fuck! And that's why stupidity survives and intelligence is slowly dying throughout the lower levels of society. Don't take my words for granted though... everything is relative and everything in life depends on your point of view. Some things are way too complicated for us to understand completely... for example why there are people who suffered a WHOLE SHITLOAD OF BAD THINGS and are STILL HAPPY AS FUCK even without being dumb at all... and there are others who have suffered only one really bad thing in life that has changed them completely and put them into depression. I still wonder why mankind is just like that... we are not as different as we might think and still... one and the same thing can affect us on so many different ways. But one thing I know for sure: it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with how "tough" or "whiny" you are. All that talking about being a pussy or though guy... all nonsense! Even the thoughest person with the biggest balls can whine like a little baby pussy when life hits his weak spot! Hmm... maybe one day we all go hollow. Death smiles at all of us, only the brave smile back! Never let your shield and sword drop to the ground... and if it happens, pick it up and continue to fight! It's an honour to overcome all those odds!

[@hinder_epoch4440]

I've not only just started playing Dark Souls, but also just discovered your channel. And I must say that you really know how to put things in perspective. Your videos are spot on, and this video in particular is also very important to me. Depression is a parasite that has plaguing people all over and many don't know how to combat it. I myself have been a sufferer since I was 7 (I'm 33 now. Big ups to all born on the 80's raised in the 90's). And I can honestly say after all these years it's still a struggle. And always will be. However this series (and a few others) have taught me how to manage it. If we can persevere. Fight through the torment. We will be victorious. Even getting up and preparing for the day is a win for those with serious bouts. For all those out there dealing with depression. Please. I beg you reach out. There is help out there. Stop dealing with your own personal Nameless King. Reach out and partake in some metaphorical Jolly Cooperation. Your bonfire is just around the bend; my friends. Keep pushing. You'll be there before you know it... \[T]/

[@JaiSingh-en2gs]

I respect u for making these videos thanks

[@ay3590_]

The moment you think you have no one to talk to, slap yourself and look once more. If the reason is that you've found no one you can trust, go out there and find one. You will find how naive you were to think it is impossible to find a person you can talk in this world.

[@Viech54]

I don't suffer from depression or social anxiety (not anymore, had some problems in the past, they are now resolved, counseling never crossed my mind, it worked just fine without it once I realized that's not how I want my life to be. As of now, I can say with confidence that I'm fine with the current me and that my past is a valuable experience for growing up and becoming who I am now), so the videos were no help to me because I don't need help, but I appreciate the help you've given others by making these videos and giving them a chance to talk to you on your Discord server. There need to be more people like you, you've earned my respect by doing that.

[@TheHipClip]

So I want to share this with everyone here. To let them know, they are not alone. Going through puberty I was always on the heavier side (around 15kg/33pounds more than considered "normal"), but I had a few good friends and gladly was never bullied. But I was always the one kid that didn't fit just right into other groups. I was the kid that played way too much video games and watched anime. And I had extreme anxiety issues. I could not really talk to girls and more or less had a fight or flight situation. However, that is not the worst part. I never had any interests other than video games. If I picked up a sport or hobby I would begin to question wether I liked it before even getting into it. And that had to do with depression. After some years even they came boring and I hoped for a new IP that would spark my interest again. But with the depression I suffered through that of course would happen. I lived life day to day like a husk that did his homework, played video games and went to bed. At age 16 I had my first and only breakdown. I was sitting in front of the TV and just began to cry, not knowing why. My mother asked why I cried. And I just said I don't know. After that suicidal thoughts followed. But I never gave in to them. Never self-harmed/medicated. I could have taken prescription drugs, both of my parents are psychiatrists, it could have been easy. But beeing as proud and stubborn as I was, I refused help. I never talked about my depression with them, as I believed they would form am image of a pitiful son they had to treat. I let time heal me. It got better because I clung to the thought " it can only get better". For me it did. Fortunately. Now at the age of 19, I'm going to travel to Japan for three months and hopefully pass a test to be accepted at an Europian medical school (I'm German). I am excited to live, however I see the troubles that are going to be there in the future, waiting patiently to push me into another hole. So what I want to tell anyone who had the patience to read through all of this, Please get yourself some help. Talk to your parents or someone you would entrust your life to. Get prescription drugs if needed. You have to act fast or it could go far worse than my story, which went on for five years. Five years wasted, for being indecisive. For not wanting to accept something is wrong and that *I* had to change something. Have a nice day and stay motivated.

[@davidg5035]

This is another great video. You were really brave to do this. Just wanted to thank you.

[@SolusEmsu]

"There's help out there, if you look for it. But it's not going to come to you, you have to go and find it." Unfortunately this is the hardest part of having many types of mental illness.. I hate that it is a "taboo" social subject, but that does not change that it is, and it turns people away to try to discuss it if they do not bring it up first. :\ It took me two years after seeking help to beat my depression to the point of being able to be part of the world again, and I simply sufferred in silence for the previous three. But, with or without medication, depression is always there, it never goes away, it is never cured or beaten. It is there, nipping at the sharpest edges of my mind, always. The greatest lesson I learned from counseling, is not that I can beat my depression, but that I can learn ways to suppress it from being the driving power in my life, which is as close to a cure as there can be. I did all of this before Dark Souls was even a thing, back in 2002-06, but playing through 1 and 3, and coming up 2, over the last year or so, has brought a lot of those memories from that time back. But this time, I beat them. I crush the shadowy crawlers with my perserverence and shatter the screeching flyers with my strongest voice. Like Solus the Elite Knight of Astora, who brought Oscar's prophecy to fulfillment, I stand over the abysmal ocean of dark voices trying to sap out my humanity and proudly praise the Sun!

[@mothmantis0708]

You're a paragon, Paragon. As a person that's struggled with a lot of the same issues: thank you for being so openly human. What I've found with things like depression, ptsd, and alcoholism is that the thing that kills us is the lie that we are alone. Millions of us, all convinced we're the only ones going through this, because from our perspective we usually *are.* What helped me was 12 step meetings. NA, mostly, as I've found it seems more geared towards finding solutions and dealing with monsters of the past that keep us sick. From there I started seeing a counselor who I met in the program, and working with a sponsor who was enough like me to feel like I could open up to him, yet different enough that I didn't feel like we'd become too pally that he might not call me on my sh*t when I started doing addict sh*t. From there I got involved in service, which is recovery-speak for community service, which is all about learning how to live for something *greater,* whether that's taking a shift at a homeless shelter, or a childrens' hospital for a really sad disease, or signing up for a big brother/sister program, or getting involved with peer counseling. Like it or not, we all of us have a built-in instinctual *need* to serve something greater than ourselves, and in my experience going out of my way to help out those less fortunate than myself never fails as a last-resort measure for getting my head on straight. It's scary, reaching out for help, and it's flat-out terrifying facing the Thing. It's the scariest thing there is, usually because it's all rooted in some horrible stuff that happened when we were very young. If I was to suggest a resource for really understanding this stuff in plain-spoken, no-BS, blue-collar English it would be a KZbinr called Richard Grannon. His whole channel's pretty amazing, but I thought his "What's in Room 101" video was better than a college course on the subject. And I've taken college courses on the subject. You're not alone, though, is my point, if you're going through this or something like it. You have worth, and you matter, and even if you don't believe it: you owe yourself a fair crack at being the person you secretly want to be, rather than the person you became, and you deserve to be a part of a community that loves and understands you because of, not in spite of, your flaws.

[@NorthstarPrime]

Hello stranger. I hope you have an amazing day. If you aren't, I hope it gets better. \[T]/ Love you guys.

[@jacksublette7493]

Praise the sun

[@foggster118]

thank you, i've had a terrible day but you've genuinely put a smile on my face :) i really appreciate that

[@joshuapriester8645]

Soul of Iron \[T]/

[@daltonloges99]

Joraarcana be safe, don't you dare go hollow

[@toastedonion8902]

Thank you

[@Alabastard]

I absolutely love to see videos such as this. ive been dealing with depression and anxiety since i was 15 (im 20 now) and ive tried everything (meds, therapy, counseling) and nothing seemed to work then early this year i finally started getting serious with dark souls and really pushing myself to play and it slowly but surely brought me up to a somewhat level state. and learning more that this series had actually been helping people like you and i is truely a miracle. thank you paragon for helping me realize this :)

[@missmonke8706]

I must admit that your mental health video was what initially drew me in. I felt it was nice to just have somebody make a video about the topic, but with something I really enjoyed and still enjoy (Dark Souls). While I must admit that I haven't dealt with issues of the same caliber as you (although I have experienced some very intense and maddening things that, in reflection, may seem less life-altering) I have kept my feelings (and lack there of) since I was a child. My experience has only worsened, and while I may have a stable economic situation, reliable friends, and two seemingly loving parents, (I've never loved anyone, although I have always been "nice", and acted as a gentleman) I've always felt disconnected. I don't feel that I should share everything, as this is the internet, but I guess I would like to (as was my original intention) thank you for this brief series. (I apologize as I may have rambled a bit) (;~;)

[@davynatorz]

I've seen this and your last video about this topic and I need to say. Thank you. I've always denied my Social Anxiety Disorder. I've had it since 5 to 6 years ago when I was at an age of 12/13. I never had many friends and still don't have many friends. I got bullied about some thing I did and that made me go crazy. Since then I fear for the opinions and thoughts of others. I think they are against me etc. but in fact they don't even know I was there. I always hid myself at home. Going to different world which were called games. I lost all of my social skills which I had before and am basically a zombie walking the street right now. Sometimes I don't really care but in queue's and that kind of stuff is just killing me. Thank you for opening my eyes. I will try and find help for it. You are a real MVP.

[@BlackDevilGamer138]

When you opened up about the alcohol problems i instantly liked the video much respect brother. I'm going through some hard times and I'm scared takes alot to open up about this kind of stuff. I've never had alcohol problems but i can see why how it leads there life is so hard 😪

[@sirdanzig4412]

I could not agree more with the message in this video. While the stats vary only slightly in the US for depressive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and self-injurious behavior, all of those stats are far higher than they should be. People should have access to the necessary assistance to deal with these issues like one deals with a toothache or a broken arm. I posted in your last video and I'll post it here too. If anyone has any questions pertaining to mental health, I would be more than happy to answer those questions. I am a licensed mental health counselor and I look for any way to share my knowledge and skills with others. Thank you Paragon for using your platform to raise awareness about such a widespread and difficult-to-discuss topic.

[@BossDrSample]

I heavily respect you for these videos. Thank you man, you've kinda helped me get a hold of my anxieties and problems. You are one of the most genuine people, I've really ever met. I've been betrayed before. One person gained my trust and even maybe brotherly love, tore it open and ruined my mental heath.

[@titogarcia3708]

i may have just discovered you, but you saved me. as you mentioned in your other video i was having a "meltdown" due to stress and thinking i was useless. thank you, really, you are a godsend and thank you for being a voice for people like you and me...

[@FrostBytePhantom]

Depression for me feels like hollowing. That constant feeling of darkness, the hopelessness. It sucks, for 10 years I ask myself everyday if I'll make it through the day. I play games and that's why I made this channel is to try to reach out and help people like me too help them find out they're not alone, but it hasn't gone well. I thank you for saying something.

[@BossDrSample]

To anyone reading this, I completely understand, I know it feels like no one does, but we all do, just hang in there, without sadness, where do you find joy? My storm's been raging for 2 years, but I feel a rainbow coming on. Just find your rainbow.

[@allew7646]

OfficerMarmalade L0l gAyE

[@SnugglyFruit]

There's that 1 thing that I could never get over. I used to be worst but it's better now I started socializing with the ''outside'' world and not to feel depressed or have these insane thoughts and how my life isn't worth living etc.... Now I feel comfortable talking to others and approaching people that I don't know and start a conversation. I have to say that a friend of mine helped me through all that and from my experience talking with someone that you know that cares about you is the best thing you could do. Wish you all the best.

[@adamstephens8957]

Hey, erm, I think I have symptoms of depression, but I'm scared about seeking help. I feel like I'm just imagining it and making it up in my head. I have no reason to feel down, my family are well off, I have great friends, a beautiful and loving girlfriend, yet I still get thoughts of self loathing, hopelessness and numbness, as well as a complete lack of energy and willpower. The thing is though, I don't feel that way all of the time, it's on and off, perhaps 2 weeks feeling like that, 2 weeks of being fine, and then back to feeling like shit, so I keep doubting whether or not it's a real issue or that I might just be making it up. I don't know what to do, I don't want to start telling everyone and mentioning it to my family in case I'm just overreacting and it's really nothing, but I don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life. I live in the UK like you do, is there a way I could perhaps go to get help without having to involve my parents at first? It's not that I'm worried about their reaction, my Dad has suffered with depression in the past and I know that my family would be very understanding, I just don't want to burden them with my troubles. Thank you in advance to anyone that can help.

[@chromatika67]

Adam Stephens like what he said in the video, I would suggest going to the doctor but if not, what I have done is call the national suicide hotline it's 24 hrs worldwide. I've talked to someone on there yesterday and they helped me with my thoughts and shit. I suggest calling them and when you're phoned to someone from the hotline, talk about how you've been feeling, from what I've experienced they will most likely suggest you to tell your doctor. I hope this helps , xoxo keep moving dude.

[@thespclflash456]

No offense my dude, and you've done nothing wrong yet, but get a professional diagnosis before self-diagnosing. I respect and understand people with depression but there is nothing in this world that I hate more than self-diagnosed people. No offense, I just don't like how a lot of people around me think depression is this amazing edgy thing to be glorified. It's fucking not, and I'd happily live the rest of my life as a paraplegic or worse if I could get back what I had years ago.

[@iota-09]

as spclflash said, i could say there's some things it could be, i know it sounds really similar to something i myself have, but i'm not going to say what it is, self-diagnosis can be just as harmful as not diagnosing at all, have someone who knows what they're doing diagnose what you got(and hope you did far earlier than i am writing right now, because this is something serious, don't take it as just something you made up yourself, and even if it was(it can be) the fact you are affected by it PHISICALLY(at least how i'd consider those symptoms) means you need to get help regardless of what you think it might be.

[@Spenerico]

I suffer all that shit, anxiety etc and when I play Dark Souls 3 now I always think back to this video and how it made me realise that it does indeed help you through it.

[@whalelord7977]

I've been watching all of these kinds of videos recently because, it's given me time to reflect on my past and who I've become and who I want to be more than anything. School never came easy to me and because of that I felt stupid, genuinely I felt like I wasn't smart. It only got worse as I met more people that are now my best friends, that had gone through this and had friends that took their live because of their parents and school. It drug me down to a pit of pure despair and I felt like I couldn't get out of it. I've not had too many suicidal thoughts but they are there. I felt like I didn't matter and I felt like people would judge me because of who I am. Now video games like Dark Souls have been my outlet but I always knew that this was a miserable world we live in. I got a support group because I knew that this wasn't normal and that I needed help, but the more people I helped, the more burdensome things became. I felt like a boulder was slowly crushing the life out of me. I'm also very paranoid and I have bad anxiety, and I always worry. My depressed and suicidal friend was moving away and I didn't know where. Now she is still here but not a day goes by where I don't worry. Not one. I feel I've been rambling on enough about my life for now but if anyone, ANYONE at all whether it be you, you're friends, or your family or relatives, get help. You never know who you could meet. Also thank you so much for sharing these thoughts I really agree that a lot of KZbinrs don't share all of their thoughts on these things and I'm glad to meet a KZbinr that finally will share these things. Thank you so much and have a great day everyone! ^-^

[@aboundedsumo7984]

the fact that you are willing to talk about these things makes me respect you immensly. thank you for being willing to bring these subjects up and talking about them.

[@WWEcreator09]

Your channel is the perfect mix of very great Dark Souls content to think about AND real life issues to think about. Greatest respect for the effort you put in your videos and in your community!

[@smeatyflavor8201]

Recently I've been feeling.. Weird. Like nothing matters, and nothing anyone does ever makes a difference. It makes me sad, but the only thing that makes it worse is that I really have nothing wrong in my life. I should be happy, but I'm not. Sometimes I feel ungrateful, or selfish because I'm unhappy with my situation. This sort of thing happens from time to time with me and it always makes me feel better to know that there are other people with similar issues. I really appreciate these videos, man. Maybe I'll be able to watch the livestream this weekend!

[@jonasknudsen2951]

I konw how you fell felt the same way 2 years ago and i tried thinking on something else but coulden't and in the end i just wanted something ore someone to talk to but no one wanted 2 listen 2 me until i came to school looking like a dead man but listen 2 me when i say that u will feel again and u will begin 2 see that things matters and that u matter have a great day

[@lost_kin3443]

these videos you make man...grade A quality, i truly mean that. you are whats needed on youtube more and more. numbers keep rising and the ones im talking about arnt good, youtube and the internet in general just need more inspiring people like you, youre simply amazing

[@sarcasticlaughter9533]

I don't know if i can call myself depressed, but there are a lot of things "wrong" it was good for a while but it has faded away... I guess it is meant to go this way. I can however say that a while back i was very sad and confused.. I actually got those awful thoughts... I got therapy but that didn't work because i'm a liar... I Will stop now. Know that i do not want attention, but saying it aloud works apparentely. Paragon Thank you for doing this for everyone.

[@Winters91]

Thank you for this. I really do praise you for speaking about this. I too live in England, and in the process of joining Samaritans, as well as training to become a counsellor. I have used counselling twice, and I cannot recommend talking about it enough. We have to speak up about it and be there for one another. It has saved my life. Please, It's perfectly fine to talk about feelings. Together we can end this stigma, empower individuals, and help everyone.

[@DeadGivaway]

I just subbed because I watched your "what went wrong with dark souls 3" video and the next I clicked on is this one. Thank you for being a voice for mental health problems. I always say that I "deal" with my problems but the truth is I deal with nothing and lock myself up in a bubble. I'm thinking about counseling and I know It could bring some change but I'm afraid of change and that is the whole problem I think.

[@BONESTORM2501]

It would seem that those of us who endlessly play these games are seeking something that we don't get in life.

[@TheCaptainPaxo]

I wish everyone understood more about depression, as someone who studied psychology I feel like I still don't know much about it even though I know more than most people. At the end of the day I have respect for anyone who can talk about their depression because it's something I find difficult to do myself, but then mine's isn't too severe

[@ladyofthewinds8267]

You are a great person to go and talk to people about their darkest hours, you have much courage and psychological strenght to do such deed.

[@folkejhn8257]

I Salute you! Very brave to talk about this as a man. Most people(men) never discuss this as the stigma surrounding it is still there. What you said that was most important is that "you are not alone"! That is the important part that you are not alone and if you want to talk about it there is someone out there who can give advice or be some kind of support. Just the feeling that you are not the only one can comfort and put it into perspective to yourself and your own struggle. Sometimes when you are in the middle of a depression it feels like impossible to have perspective of things. It feels like a wall that you cannot climb but if you can imagine the wall you should imagine that there is people standing on both your sides looking at the same wall and wanting to overcome it. Knowing that you are not facing that wall alone is comforting to me at least. Take care and thanks ParagonDS for adressing this! And thanks to this community as well, so awesome!

[@ashtongrey6755]

Thank you paragon every time I feel isolated or depressed and hopeless I come to this video :)

[@speakeasy366]

what my friendish said to me today was kinda shocking. he said that he thinks that people who are depressed are doing it for attenttion and i said it couldnt be further from the truth for me. i just kinda wanna give up. if i could have everyone that ever knew forget me i would.

[@iota-09]

well i'll try to remember you "Henry Gummerus" no seriously, if i want to forget about someone i'd forget about your friend, that's such a huge display of ignorance that it would take him years to pay back, and i know something about that considering my father was just the same, going like "yeah just buy him a new game he'll get out of bed and feel like new" that's not how it works, and you did good at telling your friend that that's not true, it can defienitely be hard to do in many circumstances.

[@lukebriddick909]

watching this makes me realise I'm not alone in this dark time, thank you dude and to anyone that needs a boost or some kind words to help you out, my summon sign is down and id be happy to talk :) keep up the fight folks, we got this!

[@richardtoth7240]

Man.. I just found your channel and im totally subbing. You my friend are a strong soul. I had depression for 2 years but i manadged to get out of it. Why didn't i found your video earlier. Man... That was soo good to gear someone talking aboute this. Just thank you. And I will join to your patreon.

[@edgedono3282]

Paragon, you are an amazing person. Whether the next video is this type, Souls-series, or something else, much support to you Sir. Keep being you, an amazing person.

[@tarnishedhunter222]

I’m so happy I stumbled upon this channel. I’m fairly new to dark souls but this community is pretty rad.

[@DanMcEvoy]

You are a very brave man, well done mate. I suffer from anxiety and depression and yeah its hard. But we can all get through it! Step by step!

[@GloomyPapi]

These past couple of videos have really struck a chord with me. I myself have been dealing with ptsd, anxiety and depression and I'm happy to see someone talking about it. Thank you for taking the time to talk about this subject.

[@Vamp2004]

In the USA, you can usually call your local counseling center and get hotline numbers to call. Some places even have websites to where you can chat with someone on there. Going to a normally counseling center in this country can be expensive without proper insurance, so this route is always available.

[@kotababy8008]

thank you for talking about this. youre the only one in this community who does this ive found. thank you. so much respect. so much.

[@soam2989]

I just watched my third vid and this is already my fav youtuber,youtubers who try to help and talk to their community in that way about those topics should be more common.

[@zorkhan9695]

Something that really helped me was what Twenty one pilots said about there song kitchen sink. They where answering questions about what the song means and they said that if they told you what it meant that would take away its meaning to them ( specifically Tyler). By that he means when he's in a time of darkness he thinks about what a kitchen sink means to him and realizes that if he leaves this world then that meaning is lost no one will know what that song means. He gives himself purpose, a reason to stay alive no matter how small it still helps. I did this with dark souls by telling myself that if I left I would never no how it ends. It got to the point where I'd put off the end just to keep that sense of purpose. It helped me and i hope it helps others.

[@Captnjared]

also I love you for this I turned depression into comedy it's helped me focus it into something to.. help me cope. however you make me cry because it's so rare that I find anyone who cares about their fellow man. please continue to post these for everyone even if KZbin won't pay for it we'll scrounge more for you patreon

[@bustercall5744]

Doing this is fantastic, man. You are being a very great person giving light to this topic, which is covered up with a blanket and told that it isn't a problem. I am distraught by those unwilling to give an opinion on it in the media, but at least you are here to spread a positive and supportive message to your viewers. Thank you!

[@yusufisa7135]

I'm currently suffering from insomnia and its indirectly causing physical depression for me watching this video helped me relate to someone

[@darthremy1802]

I'm in America and I didn't come out about how bad my deppression was until I was 27 and had made an attempt on my life, I went to therapy but my parent and the few people around me who knew kept warning me to stop talking about it because the officials would ruin my life, I ended up going to therapy for about a year and I spent the whole time afraid to fully open up to my therapist before I stopped going, it's been a few years and I'm doing alot better, I was actually thinking about doing a video a week on my youtube channel talking about my depression while I play video games because it didn't start getting better till I started talking about it, I know this video is 4 years ago but I still hope everyone is doing alright out there in 2021

[@mrbabadok1376]

You're like Giant dad of depression. Respect man.

[@gracedixon9543]

i have depression and anxiety and thank you for being there for me, and my doctor told me I will have depression and anxiety all my life and therapy did not work and my parents can't afford my medicine

[@ConanTheLibrarian9287]

Keep it up Paragon, we need more youtubers coming out caring about issues we all deal with daily. Heck, I've had my share of it, so thanks for making videos like these!

[@bradleyscottt1773]

Hey man, thanks for bringing this kind of issue up. Even if you are just going through a tough time I think your advice has been solid. And to everyone who may see this, DON'T STOP FIGHTING! Find what makes you happy, grab it by the neck and don't let go till it stops kicking. We are all the same, and that means that anything someone else has done you can do as well. So don't stop trying.

[@patracko5462]

thank God I found your channel I don't have depression myself but I do have a friend who is very close to me that does I know you won't make these types of videos often but I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help the people that need it I can respect you for that

[@allew7646]

Patracko Is your profile pic of Eileen the Crow?

[@jeovanyvillagomez6665]

I have suffered in the past from depression anxiety and insomnia a cursing as well as a blessing use it as your energy I know depression holds back your energy of will but you too will overcome this and be stronger the next day for the next battle to come

[@thomaskennedy3992]

What’s weird is honestly I’ve told my grandmother that I believe I’m depressed she just told me “no you’re not” and after that I just kept hushed up about it

[@iota-09]

older people tend to think like that, try to talk about it with someone who's more open minded, usually younger people tend to be so, also i personally found girls/women to be easier to talk around to.... though be wary that talking too much about these issues can lead many people(almost exclusively women i found out, that's why i'm mentiong this) to ghosting so.... consider that. just don't stay silent about it.

[@hanko9r]

ive had lots of counselling before, then i find out the counsellers are more depressed than i am, its everywhere.

[@TheVacras]

I think I might share my "story" as well ... I've seen all three videos now but didn't want to tell what happened to me until now. I've suffered from teasing in school a lot, it really wasn't straight up bullying but the bad part is that suddenly my so called "friends" started to make fun of me more and more frequently. This was in 8th grade (I'm from germany so 8th grade equals 8 years that I've been in school) and soon I started to abandon these friends and started to pull back into my own space at home, especially video games. Then there was my best friend, she was a gril from my class and after knowing each other for about a year I sort of fell in love with her. However she never loved me back, which I knew all the time. It felt plain up wrong to develop feeling for her, however I just couldn't do anithing about it. Sadly, being her best friend, I got to know pretty much all of her problems including the ones revolving around her love life. She started to meet with this guy, he was a huge prick and I told her so from the first time a met him, yet she didn't want to listen to me and neither to any other of her friends. I proceeded on to help her engage with that dude because I valued her well being and happines over myself. This is the point where something inside of me fell apart because of me loving her. I started to abandon all of my social activites and all of this happened during the summer holidays, so I had six weeks where I did nothing but stay at home and play videogames. I didn't feel happy for a long time after this neither did I like to speak to anyone about all of this because of the fear of being hurt again. Suddenly there were no feelings left, I just was plain sad all the time without knowing why and for me there was no shimer of hope in the near future. Luckily I started to talk to this other girl about 4 months ago (I am in 13th grade now so this whole thing went on for about 3 years) and for some reason I talked to her about everything that had happened to me. I don't know why I told her though, I haven't talked to anyone ever about this before but she gave me some sort of comfort when she was around me. Well let's jump back to the present. She now is my grilfriend since 3 months and she sort of"healed" me from my past. I don't spend time thinking about the things that happend over and over again and finally feel happy with her again. I'm still sort of anxious, just like her, and don't like to sneeze in class for example because I don't want to disturb anyone but the depression (I don't know if it really was depression, I never talked to a doctor about it) inside of me went away. I'm still worried what will happen if eventually we will break up and if I'll fall back into my previous state ... I'm obviously looking forward to be thogehter with my girlfriend as long as I can, but you never know how things will develop. Fot now though I'm good and I can give all you guys who feel similar tha things will become better eventually. I think that I should have spoken to a doctor and in fact I was close to doing so, but after two calls to make an appointment at my family doctor which weren't answered because I called outside of the opening times, I aborted the idea of talking to a doctor. Stay strong guys, things will lighten up and talk to someone who is really close to you about your problems. For me keeping everything inside of me and not letting it out was the worst part, once I've talked about all of this I felt better almost imidiatly. (This whole text is just a rough description of how I felt all this time, due to english not being my first language it was even harder for me, but no words in the world, even in german, would give me enough expression to accurately describe what I feel/felt). Greetings

[@nerdinvader6740]

Vacras Lucky, same story with me, sadly Im alone

[@mrtoxicwasteland]

it kills to love a girl who doesn't feel the same. thanks for kind words dude. people like us inspire ambition

[@Glarbb]

We love you dude. I love your videos. Keep going man.

[@SammytheBeak]

I absolutely love that you do this! I game to help deal with mental illness and neurological damage (which causes my mental illness). It helps knowing there are other gamers out there like me.

[@Idiottyrant]

ily maannn, I've been struggling with diabetes type 1 my whole life and uhm I had a incident when I was about 11 where I had a seizures because my blood sugar dropped at night, ever since this happened it kinda slapped me in the face that im gonna die one day and if I'm not careful I'll lose to my disease. I started playing darksouls during this time on my 360 and I can rlly say this game saved me and took my 11 yr old self out of that place I was in, the game really helped me cope with what I was truly feeling at the time, having an underlying disease but pushing through it.

[@LuckyCatNameless]

We as a community need to be better than just good to one another. another well put together video. keep it up!

[@teddycouch9306]

look depression isn't going anywhere. at all. more services need to be provided but when it comes down to it it's up to you, and you alone. You need to keep moving. Don't let you ruin yourself. It only makes it worse.

[@teddycouch9306]

I am depressed. I know what it's like. I have hurt myself. I put myself through hell. But none of that matters. Keep moving

[@jamesholmes3544]

Teddy Couch guts, is that you ?

[@avensoner8228]

I don't know what to say. but you are an amazing person, thank you so much.

[@sverker7826]

You are doing good work. :) Thank you for this (and earlier) video. I wasn't really thinking much about Depression before, but you gave me some thoughts. Thank you very much and best of luck to you. :D

[@jackcooper4946]

💙

[@aidanlindhe-johan6854]

💚

[@LBEfication]

+Aidan Lindhe-Johan

[@theguy2770]

💗

[@eringallegos7674]

💜

[@florentinolloyd9849]

♥️

[@ShurikenSapuku]

Thank you so much for delving into the realm most would avoid. I've been a viewer for a while but just stumbled upon your mental illness videos. My goal is to spread awareness for mental illness and we need Knights like you leading the charge.

[@lukkkasz323]

"Seek Strength... The rest will follow..." - King Vendrick

[@yourgrandmashouse1970]

Everyone has problems, what’s crazy is people think being famous and rich will help them live a happier life. If you aren’t happy now, money and fame won’t make that big of a change. You see these fake smiles on KZbin personalities who are just as depressed if not more sad than you know. Couples on Facebook posing for tons of pictures like they’re trying to convince themselves it’s not a hollow relationship. All I’m saying is that we live in a fake society where love and original creativity is rare, great art uplifts the viewer with the truth.

[@tayyebmahmood7207]

I dont know IF its only me but dark souls is my favourite game because it gives me emotions And it makes me feel like i accopmlished when i beat a boss.i hope a day doesnt come when i get bored of ds3.

[@tobiasdelcerro243]

Really nice video paragon, thank you for sharing this

[@matthewd6306]

I'm in that 1/10 and in the 80% who don't get clinical help, can't say I haven't tried, I have tried to find a doctor and failed. Phoned 15 doctors and most wouldn't take insurance or werent taking new patients, the others didnt call back.

[@aidanfilby8824]

you have changed people's lives. you r a wonderful person.

[@nickferdinande1646]

Thanks man helps alot listening to this.

[@eringallegos7674]

You sir, are a hero

[@KeitrenGraves]

Thank you again for these videos and those who are trying to stay strong through their tough times. We can do it guys!

[@ronnie7427]

for those watching in australia, we have a very similar 6 week free counselling thing :)

[@tonkjon6296]

Darkaouls has the advantange of transforming a depressed and hollow mind into a knight in shiny armor with a big claymore to smash Monsters and kings. That's the magic.

[@roriksavant]

Thank you so much for doing this for people, I hope you don't get too tuckered out from talking to people,

[@galer15dx]

you are a good person .....thanks for the conversation

[@TheDude5679]

This is beautiful man, thank you for this.

[@LavaTF2]

These videos mean a lot to me. Really they do. If you feel like making more, please do.. Don't feel like you'd be taking over your channel with this kind of content.

[@Kasai606]

Thank you for this video it means alot

[@sunbro8744]

Great video man! Love your content! Praise the sun!

[@Italian_Isaac_Clarke]

I'm in the best spot possible with depression: lack of emotions. Sometime nothing is better than terror :)